Original subtitles

Gomer Pyle - USMC.

Starring Jim Nabors as Gomer Pyle.

Also starring Frank Sutton as Sergeant Carter.

Well, here, for example, is some tree bark that would be edible.

And water that you'll find when you dig

for underground streams will look like this.

However, after you've filtered it with a piece of cloth and boiled it,

it would be safe for drinking.

Now then,

the reason for this particular briefing

is because of the special operation this platoon has been chosen for.

It's a survival test, and it's just what the name implies.

It's a rigorous, challenging test

to survive under the most adverse and primitive conditions.

Sounds like fun.

We feel this is an essential part of your training.

It's not uncommon for a group to find itself in the wilderness

with inadequate equipment and no food.

Under those conditions you have one main function:

to survive, to live off the land.

In the test, this platoon will be abandoned

in a totally uninhabited area for a period of five days.

You will operate in teams of two.

How well each team comes out of the test

will depend on their resourcefulness.

Any questions? Sir, is that the only kind of food we can expect to find?

Roots and berries? Correct.

Berries, edible roots, the bark of some trees. Certainly enough to sustain.

However, I must point out, you'll probably all come back five or six pounds thinner.

That's to be expected.

I always lose it in my face first.

Do you have a question, Private?

No, sir, I was just saying I always lose it in my face first.

My cheeks get all hollow. It's nothing to worry about.

I never feel as bad as I look.

We'll bear that in mind.

Now, during the coming week,

your troop leader will put you through a training program

to prepare you for this test.

You will receive instructions in mapping, foraging.

All phases of survival.

Carry on. Good luck.

Thank you, sir.

Corporal.

All right, Corporal, these are the teams.

Slater is all right on first aid. He can go with Peters.

He can take care of the mapping.

Burnside. Sailing, was it?

Well, he can team up with Fletcher. He'll handle the foraging.

Pyle.

Pyle.

Let's see, uh... What was he good at, huh?

Pyle. I'd better go with you.

He picked me over everybody.

Lucky you.

You know, him and me just hit it off good right from the start.

Just one of them lucky things, I guess, to find a buddy like that,

somebody to watch over you and to look after you

and to keep an eye on you.

Pyle, you're in attention! Keep that mouth shut.

See?

All right, first team out.

You guys have a lot of fun down there, hear?

Watch out. Watch that snake in the grass.

Okay, Pyle.

All right, Charley.

Do you want me to get out my compass now, Sergeant?

No, Pyle, don't you do anything.

But I can read my compass real good now.

Fine, fine. Just do as I tell you, and life will be beautiful.

Yes, sir. This is really gonna be fun out here, just you and me.

This might be all right.

This sure is pretty.

Reminds me of a spot in the hills back home

where we buried Grandpa Stokes.

Peaceful and shady.

We'll make it here.

Grandpa Stokes would have liked it here, too.

We can set up the tent right over here, next to this tree.

That's how we buried Grandpa Stokes, right near a tree.

I'll go out and do some foraging, and you set up the camp.

Maybe if I was to forage some, too, sir.

You set up the camp.

But, sir, I was thinking... Pyle!

Sit down, Pyle.

Pyle, we're gonna be cooped up out here for five days.

Five long days.

Just you and me. Nobody else.

Now, we don't wanna get on each other's nerves, do we?

Oh, no, sir.

And you ain't got a thing to worry about neither, sir.

'Cause not one time have you ever got on my nerves.

Not once.

That's real good news.

I've enjoyed serving under you, sir.

Good. Now, you'll fix up the camp, huh?

Yes, sir. And I'll fix it up just as nice as I can.

Good.

And, sir,

it won't look nothing like a burying place

like where we buried Grandpa Stokes. No, sir.

All right.

I thought it'd make it look kind of homey.

Pyle, in case it hasn't been made clear to you,

this is a military operation.

We're not setting up housekeeping.

No, Sergeant, but...

Pyle, suppose we were suddenly surrounded by the enemy,

and they started shooting at us.

Gosh. You'd be caught with a helmet full of snapdragons.

Black-eyed Susan.

You see, the petals is a little smaller.

Get rid of them! It's a different fragrance entirely...

I said get rid of them! Yes, sir.

There must be some underground streams around here someplace.

What if we don't find any? We're down to half a canteen.

We'll find one. It's just a matter of looking.

Instead of looking together, maybe if I was to go out by myself...

Not again, Pyle.

Double our chances.

Look, Pyle, this kind of thing takes experience.

Now, I've been through it.

It's not just the soggy ground and the way the plants look.

You've almost got to be able to...

smell the water in the air.

Believe me, you wouldn't find it.

You don't have that experience.

I could try that smelling, too.

Okay, okay,

keep your eyes open for some more berries.

More berries?

Five days of berries, it looks like.

Nobody said this was gonna be a party.

Are you complaining?

No, Sergeant.

Pyle, maybe I better tell you the facts of life

about this project just in case you don't remember.

We're gonna be out here for five days.

We're gonna have to find our own food and water.

There are gonna be times when we are hungry, thirsty, and tired.

It's gonna be rough. It's gonna be hard.

We're gonna have to suffer a little.

But it has to be that way. It that clear?

Yes, sir. Good!

And I can't think of nobody I'd rather be with

during trying times like that.

Thank you, Sergeant.

Hey, Sergeant.

Phew.

Looks like we both took the same directions.

Yeah? Well, I found some.

Well, I sure got to hand it to you, sir.

I couldn't find no underground streams no place.

You just wouldn't believe me, huh?

I kept looking at the ground and smelling.

It must be a knack, like you said.

Here we are.

Strain it and boil it, and we're all set.

We can fill a canteen every day, easy.

Well, we don't really have to go to all that trouble.

No?

We could just call room service

and ask them to send up a pitcher of ice water,

or we can call one of them bottled water companies

and ask for home delivery.

But since we can't do that, we'll...

It's what I was trying to tell you, Sergeant.

I couldn't find one of them underground streams no place,

so I done the next best thing.

I found one of them over-ground streams.

You don't have to boil mine or nothing.

I know. I know.

That there over-ground stream, I bet there's some fish in it.

Maybe.

Trout, most likely.

There could be smoked salmon, but without a hook and a line,

they got nothing to worry about.

Yes, sir.

Raspberries don't stay with you very long, do they?

Sort of like what folks say about that there Chinese food.

Are you complaining?

No, Sergeant. No, sir.

It's just that I don't seem to have as much get up and go

as I done yesterday.

And it's gonna be worse tomorrow and worse the next day

and worse the day after that.

Get used to it, buddy. We're on raspberries from here on out.

Yes, sir. Still,

I sure wouldn't mind having one of them there Chinese dinners right now.

Some of that egg foo yong and chow mein.

I bet that'd stick to your ribs better than raspberries.

Pyle, stop thinking about other kinds of food.

It only makes it worse.

I wasn't thinking about other kinds of food. Only Chinese.

I wasn't even thinking about baked ham

or chicken or sweet potatoes,

corn bread or... Pyle!

Eat your raspberries.

The main thing is to save your strength.

Rest whenever you can.

Yes, sir.

I bet they'd run around 10 inches.

Trout, that is. Rainbow, most probably.

I've been thinking.

I might go back there and try to scoop some out of the water

with my hands or my helmet or something.

Pyle, when you're on short rations, you got to save your energy.

It don't make sense

to hike all the way back to that creek and then strike out.

So let's drop it, huh?

But if I was to... Drop it! Drop it!

Yes, sir.

I might have been a little hasty in my judgment.

They could run 12 inches easy.

I just wanted you to have the facts straight, sir.

I don't wanna hear one more word.

Not one more word, do you hear?

I'm... Not one more word!

Yeah?

Well?

You sure were right about that scooping, Sergeant.

I must have tried for an hour, and I didn't catch a thing.

I knew you wouldn't.

You know, it's funny how the mind works.

We were talking about this before,

but when I was waking up just now, I could have sworn I smelled fish.

It's funny how the mind works.

That's what you call the, uh, power of suggestion.

What's that?

I sharpened my key ring on a rock, and it worked just fine.

You caught those?

Yeah, Sergeant.

With, uh... Yeah.

Well, are they done yet?

Pretty near.

Good. Let's have 'em.

Well, do you know something, Sergeant?

I couldn't decide whether to pan-fry them in their own oil

or to fillet 'em and broil 'em on a stake over a low fire.

Let's have 'em.

Or I could have rigged up some kind of cover and steam-baked them.

Let's have 'em.

Or there's... Pyle, let's have 'em. Let's have 'em!

Yes, sir.

In another mile, we ought to reach the given point.

Not a sign of a berry or nothing.

It's too bad we had to leave that stream back there.

There's fish in there that's just begging to be caught.

Chew on your bark. It ought to hold you for a while.

Are you sure this is the right kind?

It seems like I've carved my initials on more nourishing stuff than this.

At the moment, it's all we've got. Eat your bark.

It'd be funny if we really got to like it.

Might turn into half man, half termite.

Hey.

Hey, Sergeant. Did you find something?

Plant roots. I told you I'd find something, didn't I?

What do they taste like?

They taste like plant roots. What did you expect?

What's that for?

To put on the fire.

You don't cook plant roots. You eat 'em raw.

But, Sergeant. Yeah?

I got to thinking back there.

There might be some rabbits here in this wood,

so I made me a trap to try to snare one.

Pyle, don't tell me.

You caught seven rabbits, they all weigh 10 pounds,

and each has a head of lettuce in his mouth,

so we can have our salad.

Oh, no, Sergeant.

Pyle, there are no rabbits in these woods.

You're right, there sure aren't.

I wasted my time even thinking about it.

You should have asked me first.

Yes, sir, I didn't catch no rabbit. I knew you wouldn't.

But I did catch a wild pheasant. Huh?

Look good?

Hey, we can have your plant roots on the side,

do you know, like greens?

My mama said you always ought to have greens with your meal.

Lucky thing you found 'em.

Hey, Sergeant, do you want a cigar?

Those are homemade cigars

made right here in these woods.

I found some tobacco down the road there a ways,

and I picked us a whole supply.

You wanna know how I made it?

No.

Hey, guys! Here we are!

Hey, did you miss me?

Boy, I sure missed you all.

We really did have fun. Did y'all have fun, too?

157.

It's the usual.

They all seem to lose about five pounds.

174.

Try again. He was 169.

Right here's where it all is, sir.

Wait over there a moment.

Yes, sir.

Sergeant.

167.

That's a gain of six pounds.

Really, sir?

You men were a team, weren't you?

Yes, sir.

Did you take rations with you?

No, sir. You sure?

We took no rations, positively.

You left the designated area. You bought food, didn't you?

No, sir.

All right, I'll stop guessing,

and you tell me how you go out on a survival test

and gain six pounds.

Well, uh...

For one thing, I found a lot of berries.

Lots of berries.

And on the second day, I come across this trout stream.

But you didn't have any equipment.

Well, sir, I tried scooping them out with my hands,

but like the Sergeant said, that wasn't no good, so here's what I done...

I also discovered some edible roots.

I cut off this branch, and I got one of my shoe strings

and tied on the end of it.

And for a hook, I sharpened off my key ring and I attached that...

few hours later, there was this wild pheasant

settin' in there in that snare, just as pretty as you please.

Pyle, I must say, you certainly were resourceful.

That's amazing. Absolutely amazing.

I also discovered some bark.

No wonder you picked Pyle to be your teammate.

Pretty sly.

Yes, sir.

And then I found some plant roots.

We work real good as a team together.

Pyle, I want you to put this all down in detail.

Yes, sir. Hey, you want a cigar?

I made it myself.

Wanna know how I made it?

I was walking along, and I found this tobacco...

Hey, Sergeant.

I just can't figure it out.

That's the way he's been to me ever since we come back.

So? You know something?

I don't think he likes me no more.

Did he ever? Well, sure.

Used to, when he was always yelling at me,

I knew we was good friends.

But he ain't yelled at me in two days.

He don't like me no more.

You wanna know why he doesn't like you anymore?

Yeah. Why?

You hurt his pride. What?

That's right. On the survival test.

Don't you know why he took you along with him?

'Cause we was always hitting it off so good, I thought.

No, Gome. That's not the reason.

He went along with you to protect you,

to make sure you got through it okay.

He did? Yeah.

And then what happens? You go out there,

and you're like another Daniel Boone.

You get all the praise and everything.

The Captain makes a big deal over you.

Well, it... it hurt the Sergeant's pride, Gomer.

Shazam.

I sure didn't mean to do nothing like that.

Come in.

Sergeant. Yeah?

I was just over to see Captain Hathaway.

Yeah? What for?

Well, sir,

to talk about that there survival test we was both on.

Yeah?

Wanted some more compliments? Get a few more pats on the back?

Make sure you get all the credit. Is that it?

Oh, no, sir. I went to tell the Captain the truth.

The truth? Yes, sir.

What I done in the woods back there,

catching the fish and the pheasant and all,

shoot, there wasn't nothing to that.

Back home, any 10-year-old young one could have done the same thing.

We was practically brought up in the woods.

But it was you, Sergeant, that really got us through the thing.

Huh?

All that mapping and compass work,

and arriving where we was supposed to,

I couldn't have done that for the life of me.

I remember a couple of times there that I would have gone off

in an altogether different direction.

I would have gotten lost, sure as the dickens.

I didn't know where I was going.

You told all this to the Captain?

Yes, sir. I told him I'd have still been out there if it hadn't been for you.

Well,

you don't have any scouting experience is why.

Well, you're right, sir,

but what I'm trying to say is, Sergeant, that

I just couldn't have gotten through the thing if it hadn't been for you.

The Captain really appreciated hearing that.

He did, huh?

Okay, Pyle, you better get back to your quarters.

Yes, sir, and if we go on one of them survival tests again,

I wanna go with you.

Yeah, all right, Pyle.

'Cause you really know your way around.

Yeah. Yes, sir.

You're the one I wanna buddy up with.

All right, Pyle.

On account of you know how to get there and back.

Fine, I think you better be...

I'd still have been lost out there if it hadn't been for you.

Pyle, don't you have anything better to do

than to stand around here running off at the mouth?

Get out of here. Move! Move! Get!

Out. Out. Out...

Can't you find anything to do around here?

Hey, fellers. Yeah?

He likes me again. He really likes me.

Great, buddy. Swell. Good.

Come in.

Sir, Private Pyle reporting as ordered.

Here are your supply reports.

Oh, thank you, Pyle.

Are you rolling yourself a cigar, Sergeant?

Yeah.

Well, if I may suggest, sir,

what you do is you start with the point at the end

when you go to put on the outside leaf.

Oh, yeah? Yes, sir.

And be sure you start her slanty enough

so she'll point out proper at the end.

And then you tuck it like so.

And it comes out like this. See?

Yeah.

I declare, Sergeant, you make 'em better than I do.

You really roll 'em good. Yes, sir.