Original subtitles

Gomer Pyle - USMC.

Starring Jim Nabors as Gomer Pyle.

Also starring Frank Sutton as Sergeant Carter.

Men, men, I just figured out why the Marines sing on their way to battle.

- Yeah, why's that? - Why's that?

Because after boot camp, any kind of war is like a vacation.

Boy, you ain't kidding. GOMER: Oh, it ain't all that bad.

That obstacle course is good for us.

Oh, will you get a load of this? Gomer likes the obstacle course.

Hey, Gome, what happened to Hemsley?

Last time I seen him, he was bouncin' on that log, goin' over the mud hole.

I wonder if he made it.

Oh.

Oh, no, man.

He didn't make it.

Ho-ho-hold it, young man. There seems to be a speck of dust on your lapel.

Don't let it bother you, Hemsley.

At least this way, you won't get sunburned.

Boy...

I don't know, after all those John Wayne movies,

I thought we'd be just walking around all day

in a sharp blue uniform, with a girl on each arm.

A girl? Ha! They won't even let us have a candy bar.

Gomer, if they gave you your choice right now, a girl or a candy bar,

which one would you take?

What kind of candy bar?

Oh, brother.

Listen to those clowns in there.

How 'bout I go in and chew 'em out real good?

Wait a minute!

Three times over the obstacle course

and they still got strength enough to laugh and feel good. Leave them alone.

That's a good group of people in there.

Lots of spirit and snap. I like that.

Now, Corporal, they got possibilities.

That's a good group, a real good group. - Ten-hut!

This platoon is the sorriest bunch of knuckleheads

I've ever had the agony of working with!

If you don't start snapping to it and shape up,

there ain't the slightest possibility

that any of you will even last a week!

You understand what I'm saying?

Yes, sir! What?

Yes, sir! I can't hear you!

Yes, sir!

All right.

Now, you people averaged five and a half minutes

this afternoon on the obstacle course!

That's not bad! Not bad at all.

For an old ladies' knitting team!

But Marines do that course in under four minutes!

So tomorrow you will do it better and faster!

And Private Pyle,

good old, happy Private Pyle.

Is there something funny about all this, Pyle? Is there?

Do you find the obstacle course funny?

No, sir.

Then explain why you got a big, stupid grin on your face

all the time you're running the obstacle course!

Well, sir, it's... it's kind of hard to explain.

Try.

Well, sir,

there I am doin' it,

and there all my buddies are, they're doin' it, too. And...

We're just all doin' it together.

I don't know.

That's it? That's why you're grinning?

Yes, sir.

It's what the Marine guidebook calls "esprit de corps."

That means spirit of the Corps.

I know what it means!

And it doesn't mean grinning when you're working! When you work, you work!

And you don't grin on my time! Is that clear?

Yes, sir. Will you remember that?

Yes, sir. Grin after lights out only. All right.

Now, you people listen up...

Sir, Private Harry Phillips requests

permission to speak to Drill Instructor, sir.

Get that cover off! Yes, sir.

Now, what do you want?

Sir, Private Harry Phillips

reporting as assigned to Platoon 318.

You've been transferred to this platoon?

Yes, sir.

All right, grab a rack.

Remember, tomorrow you will run that obstacle course in four minutes flat!

And if you do it real nice, I might even let you do it

with full field packs on your back.

As you were! Sir... What is it now?

Permission to get my gear. It's in the duty hut, sir.

Move it!

Phillips guy, we would have to get him.

You know him?

I know about him. I heard he's a real troublemaker.

He's goofed up in two platoons already.

Why don't we straighten him out in advance, then?

Really lay down the law?

I don't want him fouling up this platoon, it's too good a group.

Let's tell him.

Wait a minute.

Move it!

On second thought, let the platoon straighten him out.

Huh?

It's better if they do it. They gotta live with the guy.

After all, I'm not always around

to straighten out their problems for them.

That's a good idea.

Yeah.

Do you know what that's called?

Strategy.

Hey, that there's my bunk.

Did you hear what he said? That's his bunk.

I suspect I didn't make myself clear. That there's my bunk.

Can't you get another one?

I suppose so, but I picked this one out special.

On account of it's just 11 steps from the door.

Same as my bed in the fillin' station back home.

You don't say?

Uh-huh. The other night, a car honked its horn goin' down the highway.

Don't you know I heard it, got up automatic,

walked them 11 steps right out that door.

But this rack would do me nice.

You see, I had a bunk in the same exact spot in the other barracks.

Is that a fact?

And now I'm in a strange place.

Well, you take it, then. Shoot! I can find another.

Good.

Clean forgot my manners, didn't introduce myself.

I'm Gomer Pyle. Heard the Sergeant say you're Harry Phillips.

Alert, very alert.

You'll like this platoon, Harry.

It's a great bunch of guys. Talk about "esprit de corps."

They really got it.

Might as well meet some of 'em now.

Ah, this here's Duke.

And that's Vern Williams.

Vern here is a natural-born athlete.

That there's Joey Lombardi.

His folks come all the way from Naples, Italy.

That's an Italian place.

He talks it, too.

Hey, Joey, say somethin' in Italian.

Ah, come on, Gome.

He taught me how to say "mamma mia." That means "my mama."

Italians say that a lot.

How 'bout that.

Well, I guess I'd better go make up my bunk.

Go ahead and meet some of the other fellers, Harry.

Hey, Gomer, you didn't have to give that creep your bunk.

Oh, I expect one's as good as another.

Besides, him being new here,

we oughta do our best to make him feel at home.

Why? Well, he is new here,

and I expect he's shy.

Hey, Pyle!

Shy, huh? He's pretty pushy for a guy who's shy.

Oh, that's just his way. It's to help him get over his bein' shy.

Huh? You see, some folks who are shy

try to fool you into thinkin' they ain't by makin' a lot of noise.

Now, that's a fact.

Gomer, you should've been a psychiatrist.

A what?

A doctor who talks to people about their problems.

Not me. I'm too shy.

You've got a real good stroke there, Gomer.

Gosh! That's real kind of you to say.

I've been watching. It's really slick.

Shoot!

Raking's just rakin', nothin' to it.

Not the way you do it.

Someday, when you get a chance, you think you'd show me how?

I'll show you now, if you like.

Do you think you got time?

It's nothin' much but a reach and pull, all sort of gradual-like.

Reach and pull, reach and pull.

Whenever you do it smooth, it's less tirin'.

It sure is.

Or you can hum under your breath.

Whenever I rake, I find myself hummin' under my breath.

You know what goes real good with it?

See, Saw Marjorie Daw. No!

Uh-huh. Watch.

♪ See, saw Marjorie Daw

♪ Jack shall have a new master

♪ He shall make but a penny a day

♪ Because he can't work any faster ♪

Good.

You can do other songs with it, too.

Sometimes I do hymns,

like When the Roll Is Called Up Yonder

or Beulah Land.

Uh-huh. Good idea.

Don't miss that corner down there.

Sometimes when I'm rakin', I squint my eyes,

and it's just like I was flyin' in an airplane, real high,

over a field that's just been plowed.

You're right. It does.

I think I'm catching on, Gomer.

Hey, that's it. You got it.

Do you call this area policed?

Well, do you?

No, sir.

Your orders were to rake it, weren't they?

Yes, sir. Then why didn't you rake it?

Any reason?

No, sir.

Since you've been saving your strength, when you finish here,

you can move that sand pile over there

to the other side of the field, bucket by bucket!

Is that clear?

Yes, sir.

All right. Get busy.

The rest of you people, secure the quarters!

Aye, aye, sir! MAN: Move.

♪ When the roll is called up yonder

♪ When the roll is called up yonder

♪ When the roll... ♪

Hey, Joey.

Gomer, Gomer, you never learn.

You sure let yourself get taken in.

You know what kind of a crumb that Phillips guy is.

I mean, he got you into this. Well...

I will admit he makes it kind of hard to have faith in him,

but I say we give him the benefit of the doubt.

Why, Gomer? What for?

Well, there's just some people that you can't give up on.

Like this feller back home, Lemuel Spurgian.

Well, he was real mean, and he done ugly things,

and everybody had give up on him, except his mama.

Then he done this real bad thing,

and they sent him off to prison.

But his mama still had faith in him.

But while he was in prison, he decided he'd take up a trade.

And do you know somethin'?

Today,

Lemuel Spurgian is one of the finest cabinetmakers in the state penitentiary.

All because his mama had faith in him.

Same with Harry Phillips, he may turn out.

Yeah, but in the meantime, buddy, you don't have to be his patsy.

He's playing you for a sucker.

Shh! Here he comes now, Joey.

Ignore him. Don't let him put any more over on you.

Why don't I just ask him if he's tryin' to make a sucker out of me?

Gomer, you can't... Hey, Harry...

Well, Gomer, are you working hard?

There's somethin' I want to ask you,

and I want you to tell me the truth.

Are you tryin' to make a sucker out of me?

Huh?

Some of the fellers in the platoon, and I ain't mentionin' no names,

claim that that's what you're tryin' to do, is play me for a sucker.

Are you? Well, what if I am?

Huh?

I mean, somebody's gotta be the patsy. So, why shouldn't it be you?

Does that answer your question?

Okay, now you heard him. Now you know!

Look, there's only one way you're gonna get that jerk off your back.

The next time he tries to pull something on you, let him have it good!

Right in the la panza. You mean fight him?

Well, you're not gonna keep taking that stuff from him, are you?

Yeah, but fightin'... Yes! Let him have it good!

Believe me, Gomer!

♪ ...snow of far-off northern lands

♪ To the sunny tropic scenes

♪ You will always find us on the job

♪ The United States Marines ♪

Hey, y'all know what that is?

It's the second verse to the Marines' Hymn. Not too many folks know it.

Hey, you wanna learn it? It won't take me but a minute to teach it to you.

No. - Knock it off.

Try something else, will you?

Oh, we're a bunch of crab apples this mornin'.

Gomer, look, the guys are a little tired,

you know, from the obstacle course.

You'll teach them another time, okay, buddy?

Okay, but it's a nice verse. Mmm-hmm.

♪ Our flag's unfurled... ♪

Yeah, yeah. Sounds swell, Gome. Sounds swell.

Hey, Harry, that's my bunk you're on.

I know, Gomer. I didn't think you'd mind.

But you ain't supposed to be on 'em durin' the day.

I know. That's why I picked this one.

It's further from the front door.

Come on, Harry! Get off!

Okay, in a minute.

You heard him, get off.

Why, are you gonna make me?

Yeah. I might.

You're gonna do something about it?

Yeah. I am.

Now, Joey, don't... Look out, Gomer.

Ten-hut!

Average time on the obstacle course,

five and a half minutes!

That equals the record... Set by Grandma Moses!

Now, this afternoon we will have bayonet drill with the pugil sticks!

And this platoon will...

Whose rack is this?

Mine, sir.

This rack looks like somebody's been on it!

Yes, sir. It does, sir.

You've been taking yourself a little midmorning siesta, Pyle?

No, sir.

Well, it looks that way!

You know the rule about getting on your rack during the day?

Yes, sir.

Straighten it!

And since you got yourself a little rest,

I guess you feel up to a little extra duty?

So, you can move that sand pile again tonight after chow! Is that clear?

Yes, sir.

As you were!

Gomer, why didn't you tell the Sergeant it wasn't you in the rack?

Why didn't you tell him it was that creep here?

I oughta belt you for that!

Wait a minute! I can take care of this.

I don't need nobody to fight my fights for me.

Harry, I want you to come outside.

What?

I'm invitin' you to step outside with me.

Attaboy, Gomer!

Come on, Harry.

Are you sure you know what you're doing, country?

I know.

Get him, Gomer!

Hey, hey, hey, you guys, stay in here! Leave 'em alone.

Just the two of them between the huts won't attract any attention.

How 'bout that Gomer, huh? He finally had enough of that creep.

Well, there's just so much a guy can take from a rat like Phillips. Even Gomer.

Yeah. The window.

Come on.

Do you think Gomer can take him? Sure. I know the type.

He don't rile easy, but when he blows, look out. Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh!

Well, this is a good a place as any.

Would you step a touch closer?

This is close enough.

Well, I don't want the fellers inside to hear.

Hear what?

What I got to say. That's the reason I asked you to step out here.

I thought it'd be more private-like to talk.

I didn't want to embarrass you by sayin' this in front of the other fellers.

But, Harry, to be out and out with it,

there are them here that don't think

that you've been behavin' yourself too attractively.

Now, you may have the best reason in the world

for bein' so contrary since you come here.

Whether it was the haircut or the tight shoes

or whether it's the world situation

or a lumpy pillow you've been sleepin' on.

The fact remains is you got to change your ways.

Now, a smart feller like you oughta be able to figure that out.

But mainly, the thing I wanted to say is,

there's still a bright side to this.

You can make up for everything.

One, you got to start doin' your own chores.

Two, you got to quit lyin' on other folks' bunks.

Three, you got to stop pickin' fights with little Joey.

And let me see if there's a fourth one.

No. Well, anyway,

just behave yourself more attractively.

Well, that's all.

Wait a minute! You asked me out here to talk?

Yeah, would you like me to go over 'em again?

One... No, no. I got it.

Good. Believe me, I don't like this any more than you do,

but it was bound to come to this sooner or later.

Why, things was gettin' so bad,

we was about to lose our "esprit de corps."

Do you know what that means?

I do!

Gomer, I gotta admit it. I can't figure you out.

I don't know what you're more of, dumb or chicken.

He asked him out for a little talk.

My strategy didn't work.

Oh, that was the strategy?

That's right. I knew Pyle didn't mess up his bunk.

I knew it was that guy, Phillips.

I figured if I gigged him for it, then he'd finally stand up to Phillips.

That's strategy.

But it didn't work.

I know, I know! I just said that!

Wait a minute...

I know why he didn't fight.

Pyle is a book recruit.

He didn't want to go against regulations.

I can set his mind easy on that. Go get him.

You can't tell one recruit to fight another.

I'm not gonna tell him to fight him!

I'm going to do it another way.

Strategy.

Pyle, I've been noticing this thing between you and Phillips,

and I don't like it one bit.

But I ain't got time to play nursemaid to all you people.

Now, some of these things you gotta take care of yourself.

You understand?

Yes, sir.

Good.

Now, for the most part, the Corps takes a dim view of recruits brawling

and settling their problems among themselves.

But there are times when I am not around.

Do I have to say any more?

No, sir.

I'll remember what you said.

I promise there won't be no fightin' of any sort whatever.

How's that?

Well, sir, I'm ashamed to say this,

but you got me here right in the nick of time.

That feller had me so riled up from the talk we had,

I'd most likely be tanglin' with him right this minute

if you hadn't set me straight.

You mean you were going to... What's more,

I'll make sure that none the other fellers lay a hand on him, neither.

You and my daddy say the same thing.

There ain't one fight in a million that accomplishes nothin'.

I'll remember, sir.

All right, Pyle.

All right, just go.

Sir, did I say somethin' wrong?

Just go! Go! Go! Go!

I did somethin' wrong. Mmm!

Well, your strategy didn't work again.

You, shut up!

What that knucklehead doesn't understand is,

he'd be doing Phillips a favor!

How do you figure?

A guy like Phillips has got to get it

drilled into him that nobody but nobody is gonna be his patsy!

Once he finds that out, he'll settle down and be a good recruit.

He'll solve a problem for himself and for the whole platoon.

Right now, Pyle's the only one that can do that.

You people will now pair up for bayonet fighting using the pugil sticks!

This pugil stick represents your rifle!

The end with the stripe on it is the bayonet!

The plain end is the butt of your rifle.

Now remember, from the on-guard position,

you can make five attack movements!

Corporal...

The slash! Hut!

The jab! Hut!

The vertical butt stroke! Hut!

The horizontal butt stroke! Hut!

The smash! Ha-hut!

Thank you, Corporal.

Now, first two people!

Phillips...

And...

Sergeant, may I?

Not now, Pyle. Please, sir.

Are you sure, Pyle?

Don't you wanna observe a little first?

No, sir. I know what I'm doin'.

I want to. I really want to.

All right.

Suit up.

Now, you people remember,

there are five attack movements

you can make from the on-guard position.

The slash, the jab,

the vertical butt stroke, the horizontal butt stroke, and the smash!

Is that clear? ALL: Yes, sir!

All right! You two men ready?

All right, move back, give them room.

En garde!

Watch out for him, Gomer! Watch out!

He hits hard!

Come on, Gomer!

Don't let him hit you! - Watch out!

Thataway, baby! Go, Gomer!

I'm doin' this for your own good, Harry.

- Come on, Gomer! - Come on, Gomer!

Come on, Gomer!

That's it!

Like I said, Harry, I'm doin' this for your own good.

It'll make you a better recruit.

Come on, Gomer!

Get him, Gomer!

All right, Gomer. Nice going.

Good going.

All right, Phillips, you've had it.

Okay, Lombardi, let's see how you make out.

Watch him, Joey.

En garde!

Hey, Joey.

Gomer! Get outta here!

I don't get it, Pyle.

How come you can knock that Phillips flat,

and yet you can't even handle that little Lombardi guy?

Well, sir, you see,

the big feller needed a lesson, and the little feller didn't.

Hey, Harry.

Just wanted to tell you I'm sorry about that bayonet practice.

The fact is... Ah, shut up.

What are you doing, Pyle, daydreaming?

What's the matter with you?

Sir, can I ask you a question?

What is it?

Well, wasn't it your belief that once Harry Phillips got himself knocked down

a few times, he'd be a better recruit? That's right.

And once that was accomplished, why, it'd solve things around here

more or less? That's right.

Well, sir, if you don't mind my sayin' so,

it ain't solved nothin'. Harry Phillips is still as mean as he can be.

Ah, you're wrong, Pyle. It did solve something.

Sir?

For one thing, he's being transferred to another platoon.

As for making him a better recruit,

well, one knock on one afternoon ain't gonna do it.

But if somebody else in his next platoon

can take up where you left off, and somebody else after him...

Well, who knows?

He might even get "esprit de corps," mightn't he?

That's right.

He might even get the "esprit de corps."