Original subtitles

All right, move it, let's go! Come on, you!

In there. Come on. Move it, move it! In that seat!

Now, take Hal Floyd, the barber back home

who used to cut my hair,

what he done was he'd leave it a little long in the back,

then he'd cut off the sideburns here,

about, oh, say even with the ear hole.

Then he'd trim a little bit off the top

and rub in some pomade

and part it on the side

and make a little rabbit ridge up here in front.

Then he'd comb it wet. Okay?

Well, it ain't exactly like Floyd,

the barber back home, would have done it,

but after all, it's just your first time.

Gomer Pyle - USMC.

Starring Jim Nabors as Gomer Pyle.

Also starring Frank Sutton as Sergeant Carter.

I am your senior drill instructor!

I will watch over you every minute

of every day of your boot camp training!

I will tell you when to eat, when to sleep,

when to get up, when to shower,

and when to dress!

He's gonna spoil us, doin' all that for us.

Did I hear somebody talkin'? You're at attention.

You don't move, you don't talk!

When you do speak, the first word to come

out of your mouth will be "Sir"!

Is that clear?

Yes, sir. What?

Yes, sir!

I can't hear you!

Yes, sir!

Now...

Something funny, Private? Something funny about all this?

Suppose you tell us what's so funny, huh?

Well, sir, when we all hollered real loud

like you wanted us to,

the feller behind me hollered in my ear,

and it tickled and made me grin.

I imagine the same thing happened to the feller in front of me.

Did you grin when I hollered in your ear?

Knock it off!

So, you think this is funny, do you, Private?

What's your name?

Gomer Pyle, sir.

All right, Pyle.

I'm gonna be watchin' you real close.

Do you hear me good?

You're doin' it again! Wipe that smile off your face!

You're doin' the same thing he did.

Hollered in my ear and it made me grin.

Knock it off!

All right.

Now, you people listen up!

I have had three Honor Platoons in a row!

Do you hear me?

Three Honor Platoons!

And I am going to get a fourth!

And who is going to help me to get it?

We are, sir.

What?

We are, sir! I can't hear you!

We are, sir!

And now we will begin by learning how to drill!

Left! Hut!

Dress it! Right!

All right, come on! Dress it up, dress it up!

Ready! Hut!

We will do a little drilling in place!

I will count cadence, you will listen!

Hut! And!

Hut! Hut! And left! And left!

Hut, hut! And left!

Left and left and left!

Hut, hut! And left!

Left and left! Hut, hut! A... Set! Halt!

What's funny, Pyle? What's funny this time, huh?

How do you do that?

Huh? How do you do that with your voice?

That's good. It's real good.

What?

That there cadence countin'. It's real good.

Oh, you really think so, huh?

I mean it. You ought to sing in your church choir, if you don't already.

You like my voice, do you?

Yes, sir, I really do.

Well, since you like it so much,

I'll let you hear it some more. Good.

While you do about 50 push-ups.

Sir? Push-ups! Come on, Pyle, hit the deck!

Ready? Exercise!

And up! And up!

And up! And up!

That's good. That's real good.

Keep workin'! Keep workin'!

And up! And up!

You have seen this obstacle course demonstrated,

and you will now run it!

You move, and move fast!

You are running under combat conditions!

First four men, move!

Second four men!

I am watching you, Pyle.

Move!

Third four men, move out!

What are you doing, Pyle?

What in the world are you doing?

Are you playing a game? Are you having fun?

No, sir. This wall's a whole lot higher than I thought.

Well, would you like me to get you a little stepladder?

Oh, no. Thank you kindly, sir.

It's real nice of you to offer, but I'll keep tryin'.

You better keep trying. I'm gonna get me an Honor Platoon

and you will not foul it up!

You hit this wall,

you roll over this wall, and you move on!

Pyle, do you know why you're doing this?

It's to train you for combat.

Don't you understand? You're being shot at, Pyle!

Shazam! I better get over it this time, hadn't I?

I think if you'd give me a heist this one time, Sergeant, I might make it.

Much obliged, Sergeant!

Move! Move! Move!

All right, move it, Pyle! Move it! Get in there! Move on through!

All right, come on! Move it, move it, move it!

Pyle, what are you doing in there? Taking a nap?

Move it! Move it!

It's dark as the inside of a cow in there.

Pyle, how did you...

No, don't tell me. Just go!

Hit that cargo net! Move it! Move it! Move, move, move!

Hey, Sarge.

Is that any way to go up a landing net, Pyle, feet first?

Are you trying to be different?

No, sir. I was just trying to...

Pyle, do you know your feet from your head? Yes, sir.

Then how come your head's down here, your feet's up there?

Well, that is a poser, ain't it?

Pyle, I got an 80-year-old grandmother

can go up a net better than that!

Well, bless her heart.

Get outta there! Outta there! Out! Out, out, out, out!

You swing across! Swing across!

You don't swing hard enough, you land in the drink!

First four, move it!

Let's go, come on! Go, go, go!

Next four! Come on! Let's move it, move it,

move it, move it, move it, move it!

Let go! Let go!

Pyle, get out of there! Get outta there!

This ain't a ride, and this ain't Disneyland!

Lucky thing I didn't have nothin' in my pockets, ain't it?

Come on, get up here! Get... Get...

It ain't very cold, is it?

Pyle!

How do you spell "friendly"? "I-e" or "e-i"?

"I-e." Why?

I was just writin' the folks back home.

Oh.

And I, uh, I suppose you're telling them

how much fun you're having

and how friendly your DI is?

How'd you know? What?

You're actually writing that? I was kidding, Gomer!

Our DI, friendly?

Oh, he's a fine feller.

And you like him? You actually like him?

Oh, I like him fine. Don't you?

How can you like anybody who yells like that? He hollers all the time.

Oh, I expect he's got to do that to hold your attention.

Why, if he talked soft, your mind would go to wanderin',

and you'd probably stand there and stare at his nose.

Oh, he's got to holler.

Gomer... Ten-hut! JOHNSON: Pyle!

Private Gomer Pyle!

Report to Sergeant Carter in the duty hut, right away.

Yes, sir! Be right there!

I won't tell him we was talkin' about him.

On the double! Move, move!

Sir, Private Swanson requests permission to enter the duty hut!

Hey, Sergeant Whipple, one of your people out here.

Yeah?

Sir, Private Swanson requests permission to enter the duty hut!

What's the matter with you, Private? You wearin' gloves?

Knock on that door! Let's hear it!

Sir, Private Swanson requests... Get in here!

Sir, Private Swanson reporting as ordered!

Swanson, you talked in ranks today! Yes, sir!

When you're at attention, you don't talk! That clear? Yes, sir!

You gonna remember that? Yes, sir!

Why are you whispering? Yes, sir!

Get outta here!

Knucklehead.

You think he's bad?

Wait till you see the one I got.

Hey, Sarge! All right to come in?

See what I mean?

Pyle, you were told your first day here how to enter a duty hut!

Oh, I'm sorry, I... Get out and do it right!

Sir, Private Pyle requests permission to enter the duty hut.

Did you hear somethin'?

Yeah. Sounded like mice.

Pyle, hit that hatch!

Hit the what?

The door! The door!

Sir, Private Pyle requests permission

to enter the duty hut!

I can't hear you!

Sir, Private Pyle requests permission

to enter the duty hut!

Get in here!

Over here!

Sir, Private Pyle reportin' as ordered!

Corporal said you wanted to see me.

Ewe? Ewe? What's a "ewe"? A "ewe" is a sheep, ain't it?

It sure is. It's a female sheep.

Is that what I look like?

No, sir. You don't look like no female sheep.

Do I look like a male sheep?

Well, not that neither.

Though they do say some folks look like animals.

Wally, the feller I worked for back home,

everybody said he looked like a gopher.

He had these little bitty eyes and short ears...

Pyle! He was a wonderful feller, though.

I mean, for a man that looked like a gopher.

Knock it off!

Pyle, are you here because you personally wanna see to it

that I don't get another Honor Platoon? Are you?

Oh, no, sir. You don't like me!

Yes, sir, I like you. No, you don't.

You don't like me, do you?

Yes, sir, I like you. For a feller I've known such a little bitty time,

I like you just fine.

Course, I don't love you, but that's 'cause you ain't kin.

If you was kin, I might love you, but I do like you.

Well, if you like me, boy, shape up.

Get yourself squared away.

I'm gonna get me another Honor Platoon,

and you will pull your own weight!

Am I gettin' through to you?

Yes, sir.

Then get outta here!

And I do like you... Get outta here! Outta here!

And I like you, too. Oh, yeah.

I'm sorry, sir.

I just came back to ask you,

do you like me?

Left and left and left!

Two! Three! And left!

Left and left and left!

Two! Three! And left!

Left and left and left!

Two! Three! And left!

You think it's funny, Private?

Somethin' funny about all this?

You run this obstacle course, you run it right!

I want an Honor Platoon!

Get over that wall! Get over it!

What are you doin' to me?

Pyle! Pyle!

Pyle! Pyle!

Pyle!

Pyle!

Pyle!

Pyle! Wake up, boy! Come on, wake up!

Corporal Johnson says you've been excused from duty for the day.

I wanna know what's the matter with you!

You sick? Pyle, do you hear me?

Pyle, I wanna know what's the matter with you!

Come on, boy, wake up! Up, up, up, up!

Hmm? Hmm?

You up now?

Why can't you work today, boy?

Come on, what is it?

Pyle, are you awake?

Can you hear me?

Hey, Vince, I meant to ask you,

how's your problem child?

Huh? Gomer Pyle.

What do you mean, how is he?

He's a knucklehead, that's how he is.

You know he reported to sick bay this morning,

got himself excused from duty,

and he's been stretched out on his rack all day?

No kidding? All day!

People are all secure, Sergeant.

What about Pyle?

He's still asleep.

He's still asleep?

Hey, maybe he's dead.

No. No such luck.

What's he got anyway? Did you find out?

Well, sick bay says he has "acute asthenia."

What's that?

Complete exhaustion, fatigue.

Fatigue? From what? What did he do? What did he do?

5,000 boots in this camp and I gotta catch one with a...

With a... "Acute asthenia."

Yeah.

Hey, Duke.

Gomer?

How do you feel, buddy?

Fine. You ain't sick?

No, I feel real good.

Y'all ready for breakfast?

Breakfast? Man, it's time to go to sleep.

You really sacked out, buddy. You've been sleepin' all day.

All day? Uh-huh.

Shazam!

Was the Sergeant mad?

Well, he said, so far, it looks like you're the only one

standin' in the way of him getting another Honor Platoon.

He said that? Yeah.

'Cause you can't make that obstacle course.

Good night, buddy.

Private!

Good evening, sir.

What's your name, Private? Gomer Pyle, sir.

What are you doing here, Pyle?

I'm runnin' the obstacle course.

And I'm really doing it, too.

Why? Are you being punished?

Oh, no, sir. You see, it's like this.

Sergeant Carter, he's my DI, that means "Drill Instructor"...

I know.

Well, anyways, he's had these three Honor Platoons in a row.

Ain't that wonderful?

Yes, but I don't see what that has...

Well, I didn't wanna be the cause of him not gettin' another one,

'cause he's really got his heart set on it.

Don't you know it's gonna make his mama and daddy proud?

So, what I'm doing is, I'm out here practicin',

and I'm doin' real good, too.

Do you wanna see me? Uh, no, Private!

I think you'd better get back to your hut and, uh, and get some rest.

What did you say your name was?

Private Gomer Pyle, sir.

You can call me Gomer if you want to.

Yes.

You sure you don't want to see me do it?

It won't take me but a minute.

Uh, no. Never mind.

You go on back to your quarters.

Yes, sir. Good evenin', sir.

Don't tell me. Pyle's in sick bay again. Right.

Yeah. And it's that same... That, uh...

"Acute asthenia."

We'll see about that. Where you goin'?

To see the Battalion Commander

and get him thrown out of here, him and his athenia!

Asthenia. I know! I know!

Come in.

Sir, Gunnery Sergeant Carter

reporting to Battalion Commander with a request.

At ease, Carter. What's on your mind?

Well, sir, it's about one of my recruits,

a Private Gomer Pyle.

Sir, he is about... Oh, Gomer Pyle, yes.

Oh, the Colonel's already heard about him?

I'm not one bit surprised...

Carter, I don't know how you do it, but you do it.

Sir?

Now, don't be modest, Carter.

To inspire conscientiousness in a recruit

that'll make him want to go out and run that obstacle course at night,

when he ought to be sleeping, you gotta be pretty persuasive.

Sir?

Well, there he was, last night, your Gomer Pyle,

running that obstacle course like a veteran

and telling me what a great DI you are.

How do you do it, Carter?

It's no wonder you get Honor Platoons.

I wish you'd share your secret with the other DIs at this base.

We could use more men like you.

And more recruits like Gomer Pyle, right?

What was your request, Sergeant?

You wanna make Pyle your guidon bearer?

You go right ahead. You don't have to ask me about that.

Well, carry on, Sergeant.

Is there anything else, Sergeant?

Sergeant? Sir?

Oh, no, sir.

Thank you, sir.

Attention!

Hold it down! Hold it down!

What's the matter with you knuckleheads?

Can't you see we got a man sleepin' here?

As you were.

Pipe down.

This boy needs his sleep.

He's got acute athenia.

Pyle!

Hey, Sergeant, sir.

What do you think you're doin' out here, boy?

Well, sir, I was just... Don't you know the punishment

for leaving your quarters after you've been secured for the night?

Yes, sir, but... What are you trying to do?

Get yourself court-martialed, boy?

No, sir. Then what are you doin' out here?

Well, sir, the fact is

I've been comin' out here to practice runnin' that obstacle course.

I wanted to help you get that there Honor Platoon.

And you won't believe this, sir,

but I think I got this course licked.

You have, huh? Yes, sir. Here, let me show you.

No. That's all right.

I'd be glad to do it. It won't take me but a minute.

No, never mind. No.

Uh, look, boy, it's good you can run the course,

but you gotta do it during regular hours.

You understand? Yes, sir.

Now, tomorrow you can show me how good you can do it.

Yes, sir. And I do it real good, too.

I shove off just right and go right across and everything.

Here, let me show you. No, no!

Tomorrow, tomorrow.

You get back to your quarters now. Yes, sir.

Where's your cap?

You're standin' on it, sir.

Oh.

What happened, Sergeant?

Didn't you give yourself a good enough push?

See, when you go all the way across like that,

you gotta shove off real hard.

And then you'll swing right back,

and your weight will take you all the way over.

I did it.