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1
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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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Thank you so much for coming.
2
00:00:08,291 --> 00:00:10,251
We had the Amazing Donald
performing between periods
3
00:00:10,258 --> 00:00:11,440
and his rabbit got away.
4
00:00:11,468 --> 00:00:13,197
Oh, we are very familiar with AD.
5
00:00:13,218 --> 00:00:15,100
Congrats on the charges being dropped.
6
00:00:15,121 --> 00:00:17,403
He lost 200 pigeons at a
corporate event last month.
7
00:00:17,445 --> 00:00:19,853
Come on! Get that bunny off the ice!
8
00:00:19,855 --> 00:00:21,230
Oh, the crowd's getting restless.
9
00:00:21,244 --> 00:00:23,140
Alright. Let's do this, Shred.
10
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- Okay.
- Okay.
11
00:00:26,323 --> 00:00:27,415
Woah!
12
00:00:27,450 --> 00:00:29,270
Hey!
13
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We're the good guys!
14
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Don't engage them. They're hockey fans.
15
00:00:32,572 --> 00:00:34,518
They'll start throwing
stuff, like their babies.
16
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Hold on, hold on.
17
00:00:35,776 --> 00:00:37,112
Hey! Get him!
18
00:00:38,721 --> 00:00:40,524
Okay, excuse me.
19
00:00:41,079 --> 00:00:42,543
Can I get a stick?
20
00:00:42,933 --> 00:00:44,303
Okay. Here we go.
21
00:00:44,380 --> 00:00:47,586
Okay. Here we go. Okay. Okay.
22
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:51,960
I'm coming. Here I come.
23
00:00:52,038 --> 00:00:53,282
You got it!
24
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You got it, Frank.
25
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Nice and easy. Just hop in there, bunny.
26
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I think I just invented a new sport.
27
00:01:10,314 --> 00:01:11,628
Yeah!
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Woooo!
29
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- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.MY-SUBS.com -
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Man, your dating profile is fire, Frank.
31
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Look at that picture of you gardening.
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I don't even know
what vegetable that is.
33
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- It's so cool.
- It's parsnip.
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And you should probably
familiarize yourself
35
00:01:54,015 --> 00:01:56,262
with organisms on your
intellectual wavelength.
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If I didn't know you were
real I'd think you're fake.
37
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Man in uniform saving kittens,
community garden, 6'4"...
38
00:02:02,958 --> 00:02:04,455
Ashley and I have
been messaging non-stop
39
00:02:04,460 --> 00:02:05,943
since we matched two weeks ago.
40
00:02:05,945 --> 00:02:07,541
Isn't getting to know people the best?
41
00:02:07,611 --> 00:02:10,570
But it's weird because I
now know so much about her.
42
00:02:10,571 --> 00:02:11,699
I helped her pick out a rug.
43
00:02:11,708 --> 00:02:12,785
I mean, we talk about everything
44
00:02:12,801 --> 00:02:14,785
except for going on an actual date.
45
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That's how dating is now.
46
00:02:15,981 --> 00:02:17,352
It's why the birth rate is declining.
47
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No. I'm gonna speed things
up. I'm gonna call her.
48
00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:22,067
That's a mistake. Nobody calls.
49
00:02:22,273 --> 00:02:24,187
Well, why would there be
a call button on the app
50
00:02:24,204 --> 00:02:25,440
if nobody does that?
51
00:02:27,069 --> 00:02:28,642
Truck 12 calling for back-up.
52
00:02:28,664 --> 00:02:31,871
Frank is trying to call a lady
out of the blue on a dating app.
53
00:02:31,895 --> 00:02:33,069
Truck 8 responding.
54
00:02:33,086 --> 00:02:35,005
Don't do that. Nobody
does that. It's weird.
55
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I'm calling.
56
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Standing by.
57
00:02:39,948 --> 00:02:42,988
- Hello?
- Oh hey, Ashley, it's Frank.
58
00:02:43,363 --> 00:02:45,025
- Okay.
- I know that, um,
59
00:02:45,046 --> 00:02:46,466
we've been messaging a lot, but
60
00:02:46,515 --> 00:02:48,713
I thought that uh, we
could actually talk.
61
00:02:48,797 --> 00:02:51,822
And here's me talking. How are you?
62
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To be honest, a little uncomfortable.
63
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Ooh, that's not good.
64
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Frank, watch your angle.
65
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From that low you're
all neck. There you go.
66
00:03:00,538 --> 00:03:02,775
Uh, do you want to
go to dinner sometime?
67
00:03:04,162 --> 00:03:05,268
The call dropped.
68
00:03:05,310 --> 00:03:07,395
Oh, that was a delightful train wreck.
69
00:03:07,782 --> 00:03:09,073
Delightful.
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00:03:11,230 --> 00:03:13,595
How did they find me? No way.
71
00:03:13,619 --> 00:03:17,250
- No. Another gift from your secret admirer?
- Yes, Blummies.
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- A what?
- Which is crazy, I don't know
73
00:03:18,374 --> 00:03:19,736
- how they found these.
- What are Blummies?
74
00:03:19,775 --> 00:03:21,090
- Blood gummies?
- Hmm.
75
00:03:21,113 --> 00:03:22,810
Never caught on outside New Zealand.
76
00:03:22,977 --> 00:03:25,321
There's so many of them. I
mean, do you guys want a pack?
77
00:03:25,382 --> 00:03:28,183
I'll take some home.
Rick's an adventurous eater.
78
00:03:28,204 --> 00:03:30,912
He once ate yogurt that had
been expired for two days.
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Mm-hmm, crazy.
80
00:03:32,158 --> 00:03:35,503
Hold on, this says that my
secret admirer is finally ready
81
00:03:35,531 --> 00:03:37,763
to reveal themselves
tomorrow morning at 9:00.
82
00:03:37,784 --> 00:03:40,037
You're not actually into
this walking, talking,
83
00:03:40,086 --> 00:03:41,843
future true crime podcast, are you?
84
00:03:41,850 --> 00:03:43,157
Well, they're really trying.
85
00:03:43,158 --> 00:03:45,671
And not in a creepy,
calling-out-of-the-blue
86
00:03:45,685 --> 00:03:47,336
- on a dating app kind of way.
- True.
87
00:03:47,378 --> 00:03:49,763
Yeah, it's not creepy at all
to send blood-based candies
88
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from an undisclosed location.
89
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That's extortion!
90
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Shred, get over here!
91
00:03:54,217 --> 00:03:55,747
Our house flip is about to flop.
92
00:03:55,796 --> 00:03:58,119
The bid from the contractor
came in. It's $10,000.
93
00:03:58,130 --> 00:03:59,728
For a simple paint and carpet job?
94
00:03:59,763 --> 00:04:01,526
For a simple paint and carpet job!
95
00:04:01,995 --> 00:04:04,465
Okay, you're out, Greg.
96
00:04:04,486 --> 00:04:07,438
Going with plan B. See ya. Patel. Send.
97
00:04:07,473 --> 00:04:09,635
Okay, well we probably
should've had a quick side bar.
98
00:04:09,691 --> 00:04:11,491
But it's cool. What's plan B?
99
00:04:11,881 --> 00:04:14,813
Uh, plan B is we do it ourselves.
100
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- Hell yeah.
- Right?
101
00:04:16,177 --> 00:04:17,661
Are we capable of that?
102
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Not only are we capable,
we cost zero dollars.
103
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Okay, then yet again, hell yeah!
104
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Pssst.
105
00:04:27,072 --> 00:04:28,395
Sorry.
106
00:04:28,493 --> 00:04:31,529
Um, hey. So I know someone
that works at the DMV.
107
00:04:31,550 --> 00:04:32,877
Oh, no one likes a braggart.
108
00:04:32,905 --> 00:04:34,486
She ran the plates on
the car that dropped off
109
00:04:34,521 --> 00:04:36,110
the Komodo dragon, no hits.
110
00:04:36,138 --> 00:04:38,670
Oh. So, fake plates? Wait, what's that?
111
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Good point.
112
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- Maybe a stolen car.
- That's what she thinks,
113
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so she's gonna keep digging
114
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and let me know if she
finds out anything else.
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Okay.
116
00:04:46,928 --> 00:04:50,028
So... I heard about the call.
117
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Yeah, I used my phone calling device
118
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to make an actual call to a person.
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- What a weirdo I am.
- Sorry, online dating sucks.
120
00:04:58,074 --> 00:05:00,694
Yeah. It's a hellscape
of personality disorders.
121
00:05:00,733 --> 00:05:02,750
I don't know why I can't just
meet someone in real life.
122
00:05:02,771 --> 00:05:05,289
- Totally.
- Through a friend or something, right?
123
00:05:05,345 --> 00:05:06,835
- Right.
- I mean, that way you could find somebody
124
00:05:06,877 --> 00:05:09,564
compatible and possibly have a
shot at an actual relationship.
125
00:05:09,620 --> 00:05:12,579
Exactly, 'cause actual
dating is the worst.
126
00:05:12,642 --> 00:05:13,923
Yeah. It's the worst.
127
00:05:13,951 --> 00:05:15,395
- Mm-hmm.
- I mean, do you have somebody in mind
128
00:05:15,412 --> 00:05:17,390
or whatever? I really
don't care... whatever.
129
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Wait, are you... are
you actually asking me
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00:05:19,566 --> 00:05:20,887
to set you up with somebody?
131
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Please, I'm 6'4". I
don't need help dating.
132
00:05:23,428 --> 00:05:24,822
Do you have somebody
in mind or whatever?
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I really don't care... whatever.
134
00:05:26,206 --> 00:05:28,920
Wait, do you not want my
help or do you want my help?
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'Cause I actually have someone in mind.
136
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What's she like?
137
00:05:31,619 --> 00:05:33,791
Okay, I'm confused so
I'm just gonna call Rick.
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Hey there, long legs.
139
00:05:37,146 --> 00:05:39,629
Hey Rick, you're on
speakerphone with Frank.
140
00:05:39,649 --> 00:05:41,125
What's up, my man?
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00:05:41,150 --> 00:05:43,912
Um, so what do you think
about Tiffany for Frank?
142
00:05:43,951 --> 00:05:45,866
Uh, I love it. Frank, she's great.
143
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She's a physical therapist.
144
00:05:47,087 --> 00:05:49,230
And she's also into gardening
so you have that in common.
145
00:05:49,253 --> 00:05:50,988
- Mm-hmm.
- Oh, great.
146
00:05:51,010 --> 00:05:53,257
And not that this matters
in the least, but...
147
00:05:53,336 --> 00:05:55,104
how would you describe her looks?
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00:05:55,601 --> 00:05:58,137
- Take me off speaker.
- Okay.
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00:05:58,263 --> 00:05:59,571
Here.
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00:06:00,945 --> 00:06:01,945
I'm in.
151
00:06:03,907 --> 00:06:05,145
I hope he likes Tiffany.
152
00:06:05,173 --> 00:06:06,842
Oh, I'm sure he will, she's great.
153
00:06:07,127 --> 00:06:08,941
And they have to like
us as a couple, too.
154
00:06:09,053 --> 00:06:10,463
Yeah, we need 'em for game night.
155
00:06:10,497 --> 00:06:13,456
I just think Frank and Tiffany
would be perfect together.
156
00:06:13,458 --> 00:06:15,417
Do you think they would
go apple picking with us?
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00:06:15,473 --> 00:06:17,169
I'm getting sweaty
just thinking about it.
158
00:06:19,386 --> 00:06:22,515
Wait, yeah, you don't...
you don't look so great.
159
00:06:24,295 --> 00:06:25,638
Oh, what's... what's happening?
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00:06:25,659 --> 00:06:27,450
- Oh.
- I think I overdid it on the Blummies.
161
00:06:27,485 --> 00:06:28,892
- Oh, okay.
- Give me that bag.
162
00:06:29,039 --> 00:06:31,845
Uh, what... what bag? There is no bag!
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00:06:31,868 --> 00:06:33,126
- Wait, do you want this?
- Oh.
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00:06:33,154 --> 00:06:35,456
Just like anything, like a receipt or...
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00:06:35,498 --> 00:06:37,872
Stop doing that 'cause
I'm a sympathetic vomiter.
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00:06:40,543 --> 00:06:41,901
It's climbing.
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00:06:42,211 --> 00:06:43,364
Oh, Frank, hey.
168
00:06:43,392 --> 00:06:46,476
I'm so sorry, um, Rick's
actually in the parking lot.
169
00:06:46,477 --> 00:06:48,883
He overdid it with the blood candies
170
00:06:48,885 --> 00:06:51,160
and he's now sneezing diarrhea,
171
00:06:51,237 --> 00:06:53,220
um, so we need to go to a car wash
172
00:06:53,222 --> 00:06:54,615
and then probably an urgent care.
173
00:06:54,648 --> 00:06:56,557
Everyone heard. No one's eating now.
174
00:06:56,559 --> 00:06:57,918
Right. Okay, um, but I...
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00:06:57,953 --> 00:07:00,402
Oh, okay. Hey, Tiffany, this is Frank.
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00:07:00,437 --> 00:07:01,662
- Hi.
- Frank, Tiffany.
177
00:07:01,676 --> 00:07:02,893
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
178
00:07:03,012 --> 00:07:05,566
But I feel like I've seen you before.
179
00:07:05,568 --> 00:07:07,784
Do you garden at the
Queen Ann community garden?
180
00:07:07,826 --> 00:07:09,667
I do. Are you plot 14B?
181
00:07:09,688 --> 00:07:13,173
- Yes, and you are 14A, right?
- I am, yeah.
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00:07:13,197 --> 00:07:14,378
You have all of that amazing bok choy.
183
00:07:14,427 --> 00:07:16,519
Gotta give credit to the 200 days
184
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of annual rainfall that we get.
185
00:07:17,838 --> 00:07:20,297
But your snow peas, you... you
wouldn't believe them, Emily.
186
00:07:20,311 --> 00:07:21,927
- Oh.
- They're perfect.
187
00:07:21,962 --> 00:07:24,650
Um... uh, Rick keeps
texting me actually,
188
00:07:24,664 --> 00:07:26,959
and his texts are making
less and less sense,
189
00:07:26,973 --> 00:07:29,198
I think he might be delirious so I um...
190
00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:30,577
- Go, go.
- I have to go.
191
00:07:30,610 --> 00:07:31,823
- Go.
- I'm so sorry.
192
00:07:31,858 --> 00:07:33,167
- Are you gonna be okay?
- Yes..
193
00:07:33,223 --> 00:07:35,917
You've introduced us and given
us quite a conversation starter.
194
00:07:36,949 --> 00:07:38,331
Let me ask you something.
195
00:07:38,436 --> 00:07:40,256
What's the first thing
you touch in a room?
196
00:07:40,270 --> 00:07:41,970
- Door.
- At night.
197
00:07:42,213 --> 00:07:43,881
- Light switch.
- Ding ding.
198
00:07:43,916 --> 00:07:45,773
- Yeah.
- Look at these beauts.
199
00:07:46,673 --> 00:07:49,394
What the... authentic
craftsman style look?
200
00:07:49,415 --> 00:07:50,940
I like the sound of that.
201
00:07:50,947 --> 00:07:54,684
Oh my gosh. They work with dimmers.
202
00:07:54,719 --> 00:07:57,403
- Dude... no.
- It's like having 32 lights in one.
203
00:07:57,633 --> 00:07:59,033
We have to, right?
204
00:07:59,089 --> 00:08:01,472
Dude, it's a no-brainer. Give
the whole dining room a facelift.
205
00:08:01,474 --> 00:08:02,787
- Yes!
- Yes!
206
00:08:03,823 --> 00:08:05,551
- Oh God.
- What? What?
207
00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:07,083
- It's Greg. It's the guy we fired.
- No.
208
00:08:07,111 --> 00:08:08,964
- He's coming over here.
- Greg's here.
209
00:08:08,965 --> 00:08:10,057
- He's right there.
- Don't say anything.
210
00:08:10,085 --> 00:08:11,464
I'm gonna say something.
211
00:08:11,484 --> 00:08:12,800
Gre... Greg.
212
00:08:12,919 --> 00:08:14,823
Greg?
213
00:08:14,857 --> 00:08:17,638
Greg. Hey man, what're...
what're you doing around here?
214
00:08:17,640 --> 00:08:20,371
I'm a general contractor.
I come here every day.
215
00:08:20,385 --> 00:08:21,861
- Yeah, tell me about it.
- Totally.
216
00:08:21,917 --> 00:08:23,133
- Yeah.
- So,
217
00:08:23,175 --> 00:08:24,910
who'd you end up going with for the job?
218
00:08:24,980 --> 00:08:28,241
Uh, we actually... we decided
to tackle it ourselves.
219
00:08:28,255 --> 00:08:29,682
Yep. You get it.
220
00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:33,216
Lot of Red Vines for a
simple paint and carpet job.
221
00:08:33,244 --> 00:08:34,580
Curious, do you think
this is enough paint
222
00:08:34,608 --> 00:08:36,386
for the whole job, or... ?
223
00:08:37,584 --> 00:08:38,826
You guys know what you're doing.
224
00:08:42,081 --> 00:08:45,419
And correct me if I'm wrong
but drywall is just wall?
225
00:08:46,118 --> 00:08:47,280
Greg?
226
00:08:51,449 --> 00:08:53,424
Oh hey. Is Rick alive?
227
00:08:53,458 --> 00:08:55,033
Uh, yeah. He's keeping liquids down.
228
00:08:55,054 --> 00:08:56,957
Um, how was the date last night?
229
00:08:57,076 --> 00:09:00,864
Pretty good. I give the appetizers
a four, the goodnight kiss a nine.
230
00:09:01,195 --> 00:09:03,210
I'd give it a full ten
but we clanked teeth.
231
00:09:03,308 --> 00:09:06,856
Okay, well it sounds like Tiffany
had a good time, too, so...
232
00:09:06,898 --> 00:09:08,003
Wait, did she text you?
233
00:09:08,045 --> 00:09:10,691
I texted her, actually.
Very casual, see how it went.
234
00:09:10,719 --> 00:09:12,952
She gave your date a thumbs up.
235
00:09:13,064 --> 00:09:15,310
Alright, well I will
accept that rave review.
236
00:09:15,338 --> 00:09:16,429
Mm-hmm.
237
00:09:16,443 --> 00:09:19,942
Wait a minute, uh, was it
an emoji or a text on its own
238
00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:22,680
- or a reaction to a text? May I?
- Okay.
239
00:09:22,951 --> 00:09:26,205
So it was a reaction to a text
which is not as good, right?
240
00:09:26,214 --> 00:09:27,981
No, no, she had a good time, Frank.
241
00:09:28,015 --> 00:09:29,521
You're exactly where you wanna be.
242
00:09:29,562 --> 00:09:31,690
Oh, no, I'm not. I hate dating.
243
00:09:31,725 --> 00:09:33,656
I just wanna skip to the part
where we're binge watching
244
00:09:33,670 --> 00:09:36,366
- tv shows and gaining weight.
- Like a relationship?
245
00:09:36,385 --> 00:09:38,213
I don't wanna put labels on things.
246
00:09:38,234 --> 00:09:39,865
It's just that thing where you're...
247
00:09:39,942 --> 00:09:41,803
content and monogamous
and all that crap.
248
00:09:41,831 --> 00:09:44,616
I could text her, propose
a second double date,
249
00:09:44,644 --> 00:09:46,216
- maybe after work?
- What is going on
250
00:09:46,237 --> 00:09:49,085
with you and double dates? Just
be alone with your boyfriend.
251
00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:50,400
Have you guys run out of stories?
252
00:09:50,435 --> 00:09:52,997
This is not about me, it's
about you finding someone
253
00:09:53,046 --> 00:09:56,342
that you can, you know, bring to
game night or the apple orchard.
254
00:09:56,419 --> 00:09:58,329
Apple picking, making apple tarts.
255
00:09:58,371 --> 00:10:00,121
Cool. Let's text her. Great.
256
00:10:00,184 --> 00:10:01,660
- Yeah? Okay.
- Sure.
257
00:10:01,681 --> 00:10:03,606
- I mean, without the apple picking.
- Maybe.
258
00:10:03,648 --> 00:10:05,521
People get paid to pick apples.
259
00:10:05,565 --> 00:10:07,752
Hey, Tiffany's in.
Told you she likes you.
260
00:10:07,767 --> 00:10:10,008
That's great. What did she say?
261
00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:11,606
- Thumbs up. Yeah.
- Great.
262
00:10:12,921 --> 00:10:15,727
Okay, here we go.
263
00:10:15,758 --> 00:10:17,371
Wait, did you guys actually set alarms?
264
00:10:17,413 --> 00:10:19,090
Oh yeah. T-minus five minutes
265
00:10:19,118 --> 00:10:20,762
until you meet the
stalker of your dreams.
266
00:10:20,783 --> 00:10:21,930
We found this on your locker.
267
00:10:21,931 --> 00:10:24,114
I wanted to read it but
somebody wouldn't let me.
268
00:10:24,233 --> 00:10:25,444
All will be revealed in the...
269
00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:27,320
... In the multi-purpose
room. Yeah, I did take a peek.
270
00:10:27,437 --> 00:10:29,878
Awe, you get to meet your
one true love in the room
271
00:10:29,922 --> 00:10:31,715
- where we de-worm cats.
- Wow.
272
00:10:31,716 --> 00:10:33,705
- Okay, I will take it from here.
- Awesome.
273
00:10:33,733 --> 00:10:35,328
I think we should all just take it.
274
00:10:36,133 --> 00:10:38,344
I... I think this... this is a me thing.
275
00:10:38,372 --> 00:10:39,702
- Mm-hmm.
- Well, I mean...
276
00:10:39,730 --> 00:10:41,319
- I feel like a we... we thing.
- Yeah, I'll go.
277
00:10:41,361 --> 00:10:43,194
This has the potential
to be very romantic.
278
00:10:43,243 --> 00:10:44,622
Oh, yes, romantic.
279
00:10:44,664 --> 00:10:46,505
Once this person goes from
breaking into your locker
280
00:10:46,519 --> 00:10:49,206
to breaking into your home
you'll be positively swooning.
281
00:10:49,220 --> 00:10:50,784
Okay, shut up. I'm trying to be open
282
00:10:50,798 --> 00:10:52,946
to the possibility of
something different...
283
00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:54,515
- Mm-hmm.
- And I'm willing to give this person
284
00:10:54,557 --> 00:10:57,733
a chance as long as
they're over 18 and under...
285
00:10:58,405 --> 00:11:00,217
As long as they're over 18.
286
00:11:00,287 --> 00:11:01,594
Yeah.
287
00:11:01,741 --> 00:11:02,860
Wow.
288
00:11:02,895 --> 00:11:04,778
Oh, Victoria!
289
00:11:05,317 --> 00:11:06,731
I knew it was water guy!
290
00:11:06,733 --> 00:11:08,395
Oh my God, yeah. I can work with this.
291
00:11:08,472 --> 00:11:09,660
Hi.
292
00:11:09,736 --> 00:11:10,736
Uh...
293
00:11:10,813 --> 00:11:12,485
- Oh.
- Pardon me.
294
00:11:13,149 --> 00:11:15,624
- Happy birthday, I guess.
- Yes, thank you.
295
00:11:16,379 --> 00:11:18,709
So it's not sexy water guy?
296
00:11:18,730 --> 00:11:21,711
Yeah, so who is it, then?
297
00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:25,175
Ta-dah!
298
00:11:25,177 --> 00:11:28,174
Ah, there he is. Okay.
299
00:11:28,332 --> 00:11:30,553
This is a prank. Well done, Frank.
300
00:11:30,580 --> 00:11:32,652
- Oh, no, I didn't do this.
- Of course it was Templeton.
301
00:11:32,685 --> 00:11:35,220
Literally the last person that
you would think it would be.
302
00:11:35,234 --> 00:11:36,472
This is a twist.
303
00:11:36,514 --> 00:11:38,011
- I got HR on hold...
- Uh-huh.
304
00:11:38,046 --> 00:11:39,376
- ... just in case this escalates.
- Mm-hmm.
305
00:11:39,390 --> 00:11:41,796
But also I'm recording this
because this is too much.
306
00:11:41,845 --> 00:11:43,111
- Yeah.
- I thought it would just be
307
00:11:43,134 --> 00:11:44,185
- the two of us.
- Huh?
308
00:11:44,186 --> 00:11:46,364
- We can't hear you over here.
- 'Cause I'm recording.
309
00:11:46,365 --> 00:11:48,843
- Just turn it up just a little.
- I said I thought it would be the two of us,
310
00:11:48,892 --> 00:11:51,165
but I've come this far
so I'm wondering if,
311
00:11:51,186 --> 00:11:52,767
as your former secret admirer,
312
00:11:52,816 --> 00:11:55,979
I could openly admire you on a date.
313
00:11:56,014 --> 00:11:58,030
- You said you'd be open to anyone.
- No, thank you.
314
00:11:58,100 --> 00:12:01,556
Ah, well that was
three months and $3,500
315
00:12:01,605 --> 00:12:05,152
- that was not spent wisely?
- Oh, well, from where we're standing,
316
00:12:05,215 --> 00:12:06,510
it was worth every penny.
317
00:12:06,545 --> 00:12:08,455
Alright, well you can
tell a man's character
318
00:12:08,511 --> 00:12:11,631
by how he reacts on his darkest moment
319
00:12:11,680 --> 00:12:14,717
so I'm going to just leave
and do the right thing.
320
00:12:14,731 --> 00:12:16,369
- Okay.
- Okay, everybody.
321
00:12:19,336 --> 00:12:20,574
You have a...
322
00:12:26,857 --> 00:12:28,271
What's that smell?
323
00:12:28,914 --> 00:12:31,762
Oh God, it smells like burning hooves.
324
00:12:31,769 --> 00:12:33,050
Yeah.
325
00:12:40,117 --> 00:12:44,819
Somebody has killed the
only thing I've ever loved.
326
00:12:45,309 --> 00:12:46,498
Blummies.
327
00:12:47,247 --> 00:12:48,310
Templeton.
328
00:12:48,324 --> 00:12:49,457
Ohhh...
329
00:12:49,590 --> 00:12:51,843
They jammed my boy.
330
00:12:52,479 --> 00:12:54,243
They jammed my boy!
331
00:12:54,917 --> 00:12:55,972
Oh boy.
332
00:12:56,009 --> 00:12:58,030
You brought this evil into our house.
333
00:12:58,100 --> 00:13:00,759
Woah, back, okay? Do not
turn this around on me.
334
00:13:00,787 --> 00:13:04,283
A man asked me out. I said no
and, what, I deserve vengeance?
335
00:13:04,327 --> 00:13:05,849
And I'm just putting this out there,
336
00:13:05,866 --> 00:13:08,016
it could have been Rick.
He also likes Blummies.
337
00:13:08,058 --> 00:13:09,904
Nope. This is Templeton level of petty.
338
00:13:09,905 --> 00:13:11,059
He did this.
339
00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:12,795
He probably did it while we
were still laughing at him.
340
00:13:12,830 --> 00:13:14,279
He never complained,
341
00:13:14,775 --> 00:13:17,236
- no matter what I put inside him.
- What?
342
00:13:17,284 --> 00:13:18,852
That's tough wording, Frank.
343
00:13:18,929 --> 00:13:21,427
Yogurt time.
344
00:13:23,344 --> 00:13:25,093
I'm gonna come back, okay.
345
00:13:29,381 --> 00:13:30,417
- Cheers!
- Cheers!
346
00:13:33,985 --> 00:13:35,542
- Mmm.
- That is good.
347
00:13:35,577 --> 00:13:36,829
- Mm-hmm.
- Glad we got the bottle.
348
00:13:36,892 --> 00:13:39,643
Yeah, it really is the most
sophisticated way to get hammered.
349
00:13:39,645 --> 00:13:42,220
- Be cool, my dear.
- I'm cool.
350
00:13:42,324 --> 00:13:45,228
- I have your salads here.
- Oh, I don't believe we ordered salads.
351
00:13:45,305 --> 00:13:47,376
Actually, uh, I took the liberty,
352
00:13:47,390 --> 00:13:49,972
these salads are made with
vegetables from my garden.
353
00:13:50,021 --> 00:13:54,366
What? Frank, that is
so thoughtful and sweet.
354
00:13:54,478 --> 00:13:57,977
And I might have snuck
some of Tiffany's snow peas
355
00:13:57,998 --> 00:13:59,531
and watermelon radishes in there.
356
00:13:59,580 --> 00:14:02,353
- Oh.
- How delightfully unexpected.
357
00:14:03,027 --> 00:14:05,336
Did you pick them from my plot?
358
00:14:05,371 --> 00:14:06,911
I certainly did.
359
00:14:06,937 --> 00:14:09,355
Oh.
360
00:14:09,649 --> 00:14:12,606
- It's so nice.
- It's so specific.
361
00:14:13,008 --> 00:14:15,789
Rick, why aren't you doing
this kind of thing for me?
362
00:14:15,815 --> 00:14:18,056
- Oh, you got me in trouble.
- Yeah, Rick, what the hell.
363
00:14:18,091 --> 00:14:19,420
So great.
364
00:14:19,476 --> 00:14:23,802
Um, if you'll excuse me, I'm
going to use the ladies room.
365
00:14:23,921 --> 00:14:25,062
Okay.
366
00:14:26,490 --> 00:14:27,833
Isn't she great?
367
00:14:29,845 --> 00:14:32,275
- Oh good, you're still here.
- No, I'm not.
368
00:14:32,302 --> 00:14:33,786
You are, I see you.
369
00:14:33,821 --> 00:14:36,263
And I only have one more
little care package for you.
370
00:14:36,270 --> 00:14:38,432
Okay, if I open that
and it's a dead bird,
371
00:14:38,474 --> 00:14:40,335
- I'm... I'm gonna be so mad.
- Not a dead bird.
372
00:14:40,370 --> 00:14:42,000
It's an invoice with all the receipts
373
00:14:42,028 --> 00:14:44,359
for little New Zealand
lollies, and the basket,
374
00:14:44,422 --> 00:14:46,556
the mileage from my trip to Spokane
375
00:14:46,598 --> 00:14:48,676
to the specialty store for you.
376
00:14:48,739 --> 00:14:50,908
You're seriously charging
me for your crush?
377
00:14:50,936 --> 00:14:53,644
You led me on. You're like a
classic temptress from Oceania.
378
00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:55,380
Okay. I did not lead you on.
379
00:14:55,576 --> 00:14:58,025
I have shown you nothing
but contempt and distain.
380
00:14:58,060 --> 00:14:59,803
- I really don't... Playful?
- Playful contempt and distain.
381
00:14:59,808 --> 00:15:01,449
And that is very confusing.
382
00:15:01,482 --> 00:15:04,135
You have 30 days or
interest starts to accrue.
383
00:15:06,753 --> 00:15:07,791
- Unless...
- No.
384
00:15:07,808 --> 00:15:10,681
Okay. You know what? I only date
women made in America, anyway.
385
00:15:10,693 --> 00:15:11,784
Oh.
386
00:15:13,189 --> 00:15:14,230
No.
387
00:15:15,395 --> 00:15:17,483
You hear that?
388
00:15:17,501 --> 00:15:19,123
That's the sound of
generational wealth accruing.
389
00:15:22,750 --> 00:15:23,750
Ugh.
390
00:15:24,216 --> 00:15:26,131
The sawdust tastes like bad mushrooms.
391
00:15:26,153 --> 00:15:27,868
- Yeah. What?
- Gross.
392
00:15:28,707 --> 00:15:30,576
Oh, that's black mold.
393
00:15:30,639 --> 00:15:31,913
- Black what?
- That's black mold.
394
00:15:31,948 --> 00:15:33,357
- That's black mold.
- I'm not up on my molds
395
00:15:33,378 --> 00:15:34,724
but is that worse than green?
396
00:15:34,735 --> 00:15:36,107
It might just be that one little spot.
397
00:15:36,140 --> 00:15:37,281
It's fine, just open it up.
398
00:15:37,315 --> 00:15:38,547
- Open it up?
- Open it up!
399
00:15:38,580 --> 00:15:39,610
Okay.
400
00:15:45,941 --> 00:15:47,049
That seems bad.
401
00:15:47,324 --> 00:15:48,471
It's probably just the...
402
00:15:48,785 --> 00:15:50,213
That's probably the end of it, right?
403
00:15:50,308 --> 00:15:51,372
Probably.
404
00:15:51,377 --> 00:15:52,530
Unless it goes down.
405
00:15:52,609 --> 00:15:53,979
No chance it goes down, right?
406
00:15:57,697 --> 00:15:59,275
We gotta get out of this house!
407
00:15:59,745 --> 00:16:01,234
We gotta get out of this house!
408
00:16:01,491 --> 00:16:04,597
You don't think the whole
salad thing was weird,
409
00:16:04,625 --> 00:16:06,882
I mean, everybody cheered when
the guy did it on Instagram.
410
00:16:06,926 --> 00:16:09,458
I'm just gonna say it,
I thought it was cute.
411
00:16:09,547 --> 00:16:12,385
So cute, right? I mean,
also very masculine.
412
00:16:12,413 --> 00:16:14,279
I think it might be good to acknowledge
413
00:16:14,281 --> 00:16:15,408
that from Tiff's perspective,
414
00:16:15,425 --> 00:16:17,843
it could have come
off as a bit invasive.
415
00:16:17,871 --> 00:16:20,194
Invasive? Honey, excuse me, but what?
416
00:16:20,205 --> 00:16:22,438
Well, you know, he just
stole her veggies...
417
00:16:22,455 --> 00:16:24,655
Stole? It's a community garden.
418
00:16:24,772 --> 00:16:26,272
Basically an open field.
419
00:16:26,293 --> 00:16:29,638
And if anything, her
reaction was a little nutty.
420
00:16:29,813 --> 00:16:31,108
I mean, running away to the bathroom?
421
00:16:31,143 --> 00:16:33,159
I just think you could have
used your own vegetables,
422
00:16:33,187 --> 00:16:34,558
like simplified the gesture.
423
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:37,722
No. No, no, no. Mixing
is what makes it special.
424
00:16:37,730 --> 00:16:40,766
Two people from different
plots coming together
425
00:16:40,883 --> 00:16:43,547
- to form something new.
- Yes. Rick gets it.
426
00:16:43,596 --> 00:16:45,401
Okay. Shall we just leave it at that?
427
00:16:45,457 --> 00:16:47,550
Just say it's a grey area,
even though I'm right.
428
00:16:48,802 --> 00:16:49,927
When do you think she's coming back?
429
00:16:49,949 --> 00:16:51,203
She's gonna be back in a second.
430
00:16:51,231 --> 00:16:52,797
- She's been gone 10 minutes.
- Babe...
431
00:16:52,823 --> 00:16:55,831
- What? She has.
- Emily, I think you're right. She ghosted me.
432
00:16:55,898 --> 00:16:58,083
At the very least she's
sitting in a bathroom stall
433
00:16:58,111 --> 00:17:00,143
- trying to figure out how to ghost me.
- No, I... I didn't say that.
434
00:17:00,164 --> 00:17:01,437
That's quite a leap, pal.
435
00:17:01,458 --> 00:17:03,389
I mean, we'd see her if she
left, we're right by the door.
436
00:17:03,422 --> 00:17:05,799
- The bathroom has a window.
- Honey, you're killing him.
437
00:17:05,841 --> 00:17:07,737
You're not texting
Tiffany right now, are you?
438
00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:11,935
I just want to let her
know that it is not okay.
439
00:17:12,074 --> 00:17:13,705
You're typing pretty
hard over there, buddy.
440
00:17:13,726 --> 00:17:14,832
Want a second set of eyes on that?
441
00:17:14,860 --> 00:17:17,643
No, I'm just letting it roll,
don't wanna overthink it.
442
00:17:17,678 --> 00:17:21,730
All caps, exclamation point,
exclamation point, send.
443
00:17:21,807 --> 00:17:24,469
Sorry, one of my clients called me.
444
00:17:24,547 --> 00:17:26,332
Um... did you text me?
445
00:17:26,393 --> 00:17:30,093
No. Uh... you know, I just um...
446
00:17:30,119 --> 00:17:32,585
my phone's unlocked and I
kinda move my finger on it
447
00:17:32,601 --> 00:17:34,483
and it just spells words.
448
00:17:34,580 --> 00:17:36,827
My snow peas are as hollow of flavor
449
00:17:36,863 --> 00:17:38,698
as I am of good character?
450
00:17:38,699 --> 00:17:40,451
- Oh, dear.
- Yeah.
451
00:17:40,521 --> 00:17:42,593
Yeah, I'm gonna go.
452
00:17:43,887 --> 00:17:46,805
Oh. Uh... okay.
453
00:17:50,696 --> 00:17:53,733
Oh, yeah. Uh, thumbs down.
454
00:17:54,055 --> 00:17:56,420
Wanna skip to dessert?
I'll order three bourbons.
455
00:17:56,518 --> 00:17:57,816
Do you guys want anything?
456
00:18:02,382 --> 00:18:03,879
What can I do for you, Templeton?
457
00:18:03,907 --> 00:18:05,600
Nice try, I know you sent the email.
458
00:18:05,607 --> 00:18:07,096
- What email?
- Don't play dumb,
459
00:18:07,124 --> 00:18:09,265
the one from the Royal
Highlander Quartet
460
00:18:09,305 --> 00:18:10,553
inviting me to audition?
461
00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:11,655
I don't even know what that is.
462
00:18:11,657 --> 00:18:13,301
Come on, you sent me a fake email
463
00:18:13,340 --> 00:18:15,518
from the preeminent bagpiper ensemble
464
00:18:15,546 --> 00:18:16,727
in the Pacific Northwest
465
00:18:16,744 --> 00:18:19,139
'cause you know I wanna be
taken seriously as a bagger.
466
00:18:19,172 --> 00:18:20,292
Well, this might surprise you
467
00:18:20,309 --> 00:18:22,109
but I didn't even know
that you play the bagpipes.
468
00:18:22,179 --> 00:18:23,606
Really? So you don't remember me
469
00:18:23,627 --> 00:18:25,663
in a tartan kilt at the cougar funeral
470
00:18:25,691 --> 00:18:27,560
playing Tears in Heaven, or at the wake
471
00:18:27,609 --> 00:18:29,748
when I brought the house
down with Sexual Healing?
472
00:18:29,771 --> 00:18:30,825
Nope.
473
00:18:31,157 --> 00:18:32,353
Huh.
474
00:18:32,983 --> 00:18:34,419
Maybe you didn't send that email.
475
00:18:34,497 --> 00:18:36,087
No, I didn't send it.
476
00:18:36,285 --> 00:18:37,706
Okay. Thank you.
477
00:18:37,832 --> 00:18:39,477
I'm gonna go now and if
you try and call me back
478
00:18:39,498 --> 00:18:42,095
and it doesn't go through that's
because I blocked you forever, okay?
479
00:18:42,137 --> 00:18:43,151
Bye.
480
00:19:00,730 --> 00:19:02,829
Excuse me? Can I help you?
481
00:19:02,843 --> 00:19:04,943
I'm here for the Royal
Highlander Quartet audition.
482
00:19:04,970 --> 00:19:08,000
Auditorium's this way, right?
Hydrated, ready to blow pipe.
483
00:19:16,521 --> 00:19:18,055
That's him!
484
00:19:18,110 --> 00:19:19,503
That's the creepy old man
485
00:19:19,545 --> 00:19:21,393
- Oh geez.
- Pretending to be a student at this school!
486
00:19:21,399 --> 00:19:23,699
- No.
- He's probably a pervert!
487
00:19:23,727 --> 00:19:25,287
Oh no, no, no.
488
00:19:25,329 --> 00:19:28,849
I'm... I'm an animal control officer.
489
00:19:29,633 --> 00:19:32,670
That blows pipe. Uh, bagpipe.
490
00:19:47,181 --> 00:19:48,828
- Frank?
- Yeah.
491
00:19:48,995 --> 00:19:51,644
What're you doing in the grooming
hammock with the lights off?
492
00:19:51,688 --> 00:19:54,666
Good for my back and the
lights are on a motion sensor.
493
00:19:54,685 --> 00:19:57,671
So, was justice served?
494
00:19:58,177 --> 00:19:59,769
I don't know, you tell me.
495
00:19:59,795 --> 00:20:01,673
That's the creepy old man
pretending to be a student
496
00:20:01,674 --> 00:20:04,242
at this school! He's probably a pervert!
497
00:20:06,255 --> 00:20:07,657
That's good.
498
00:20:07,923 --> 00:20:12,668
I uh, buried a panini
press behind the building.
499
00:20:12,696 --> 00:20:15,956
It was a short and touching
service so thank you for that.
500
00:20:15,963 --> 00:20:17,867
- How was your date?
- Crushed it.
501
00:20:18,056 --> 00:20:20,358
This is my celebratory dangle.
502
00:20:20,414 --> 00:20:23,002
It was one of those dates
where the starter salad
503
00:20:23,016 --> 00:20:25,612
turns into a "I never
wanna see you again" salad.
504
00:20:25,661 --> 00:20:27,235
Oh, that's rough.
505
00:20:27,627 --> 00:20:29,070
- Yeah.
- But I'm in no place to judge.
506
00:20:29,084 --> 00:20:32,261
I actually thought I might
have a super sexy secret admirer
507
00:20:32,296 --> 00:20:34,150
but instead I got Templeton.
508
00:20:34,822 --> 00:20:39,202
Love, like cornhole, is a
game I'll never understand.
509
00:20:42,549 --> 00:20:43,715
What was that?
510
00:20:44,023 --> 00:20:47,017
That's the water
delivery guy. He's so hot.
511
00:20:47,059 --> 00:20:50,138
I needed a palate cleanser. He
still thinks it's my birthday
512
00:20:50,173 --> 00:20:52,293
and I told him to pick
me up after his shift.
513
00:20:52,321 --> 00:20:55,455
Oh, well he brought the delivery
truck so I hope he takes you
514
00:20:55,483 --> 00:20:58,388
to the most romantic
distribution center in town.
515
00:20:59,690 --> 00:21:01,075
Goodnight, Frank.
516
00:21:03,335 --> 00:21:05,001
Can you give me a push?
517
00:21:06,267 --> 00:21:10,150
Hi. I recently made a
purchase I'd like to return.
518
00:21:10,502 --> 00:21:12,984
Well, I know you're a
realtor, that's why I called.
519
00:21:14,355 --> 00:21:15,506
Hello?
520
00:21:16,325 --> 00:21:17,632
It's no use, buddy.
521
00:21:18,014 --> 00:21:19,768
These closing docs are rock solid.
522
00:21:19,931 --> 00:21:21,996
- I'm still in if you are.
- Oh, I'm still in.
523
00:21:21,997 --> 00:21:23,816
Because legally neither
of us can walk away.
524
00:21:23,859 --> 00:21:27,359
Yeah, that's what I found
in my due diligence, as well.
525
00:21:28,067 --> 00:21:30,648
So, what's our next move?
526
00:21:34,526 --> 00:21:37,470
I'll do it, but now
it's double the price.
527
00:21:37,601 --> 00:21:39,088
When can you start?
528
00:21:39,113 --> 00:21:43,051
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.MY-SUBS.com -
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