Original subtitles

You have an investiture ceremony at 11:00,

then lunch with the Commonwealth secretary-general,

so I thought the black shoes and low heel,

which also works well for the first meeting after breakfast.

Remind me.

The Duke of Edinburgh, Lord Chamberlain, and the Duke of Norfolk.

Oh, yes. Did we ever discover what that was about?

They wouldn't say.

That's not normally a good sign.

Good morning. The time is nine o'clock,

and here are the news headlines for today.

It has been almost two years

since the British and American forces went to war with Iraq.

The justification for the invasion at the time,

that Saddam Hussein had amassed

a huge stockpile of weapons of mass destruction.

Now, with the secretary-general of the UN openly...

It's ridiculous.

...as illegal, the IAEA hasn't been invited to restart full inspections.

Marry me.

Instead, investigations into WMDs

are now carried out by the Iraq Survey Group.

The search for...

That's not a proposal. I can't do that without my mother's permission,

but... I realize, more than anything in the world, I want you to be my wife.

...chemical, biological, and nuclear weapons

have still not been unearthed.

Many people who supported the war are now asking...

That's a complete disaster.

...including the prime minister's claim that Saddam's apparently non-existent weapons

could be deployed within 45 minutes.

So the Scots Guards will be here. The Coldstream Guards...

Rest on a platform near the High Altar.

Oh...

- Good morning, gentlemen. - Good morning.

Your Majesty.

The purpose of this meeting is,

and it's not because we have any reason to be fearful...

Oh, get on with it, David.

That we might really step up our planning of Operation London Bridge.

That's the code name for your funeral, ma'am.

We know what it is, Edward.

Is that really necessary? I recently got a clean bill of health,

and in terms of age, I'm only...

- Eighty. - Yes, all right. Not quite.

A matter of months.

Simply for reasons of prudence and good order.

Why not start with the Duke of Edinburgh?

He's older than me. And, statistically, men tend to die earlier.

Well, that's true, and that's why we've been working on mine for years.

Operation Forth Bridge.

- Oh... Oh, don't say that. - Why?

It's so sad.

No!

No, I'm finding it all rather stimulating.

You might too.

It's surprising what it all stirs up. Isn't it, Edward?

Yes. So, with your permission, ma'am, can we make a start?

As a template, we've used the funeral of the late King George VI.

We would call on an estimated 6,000 military personnel

for the procession.

A tri-service parade embracing each of the armed services,

alongside representatives from the 15 other Commonwealth realms.

The gun carriage will be drawn by the Sovereign's Guard.

They will march at the customary rhythm of 75 paces per minute...

Out, out, out!

Out, out, out!

What's going on?

The prime minister's just coming out, sir.

- No! Hey! Hey! - You war criminal!

You warmonger!

Remember when he first came to power?

They took to the streets and cheered.

Now they want to impeach him for high crimes and misdemeanors.

And Tony Blair's become Tony B-liar.

One is reminded once again that the career of prime ministers is nasty,

brutish, and short.

He has no intention of stepping down. His ambition is to become

the first Labour prime minister to win a third successive term.

That's the thing.

Once people get a taste of life at the top, they never want to leave.

Is that right?

They just want to keep... on and on.

Yes. Anyway, I'm sure this is not why you've come to see me today.

No.

I've come to make a request I wish I'd made 30 years ago.

To ask your blessing

to marry Camilla.

You can't say this has come out of the blue, Mummy.

She and I have been in love now for 30 years.

And every day of those 30 years, she has been heroic.

You don't think ending her relationship with you once you'd married Diana

would have been "heroic"?

She did.

Camilla is blameless in that regard. She always wanted to keep her marriage.

Then why didn't she?

- Because her husband left. - And why did he do that?

Because he'd had enough, as I understand it,

of reading about her adultery with you in the newspapers.

You and I both know Andrew is no angel. He was serially unfaithful himself.

So, can we agree? There's nothing heroic about any of this.

For years and years, Camilla has suffered judgment and calumny

and never, ever complained. Not once.

That is heroic.

Instead, she's stayed silent.

And loyal, to you and the Crown.

With not a single thank you in return.

- A thank you? - Yes, thank you.

Not just for her discretion, but for loving and making happy

the person who's next in line.

That, surely, is in all our interests.

What is he doing?

Planning his funeral.

He wants that as his hearse.

You always said, Mummy, that you couldn't do the job

without Papa by your side.

That he's your strength and stay.

Camilla is my strength.

And my stay.

I couldn't do it without her.

I will reflect on it,

take advice,

and give you an answer soon.

Thank you.

It will probably be fine.

You all have in front of you a first draft of the plans for London Bridge.

Oh, for heaven's sake.

Yes, a little heavy at the moment, ma'am,

but it will shrink down nicely as you begin to express your preferences.

My preference would be a quiet service in Scotland,

out of sight, and over in 20 minutes.

Perfectly understandable. But this is the funeral

of what we expect to be the longest-serving monarch in history.

People will want to celebrate your reign and mark the end of an era,

not just here, but all around the world.

So, I'd like to start with the logistical contingencies

depending upon where the, uh,

forgive me, ma'am, the, uh... death actually occurs.

If it's abroad, ma'am, or here in the United Kingdom.

I shall do my best to keep it local.

Thank you, ma'am.

The first chapter is if the event occurs on a foreign tour.

Please turn to page ten.

Watch out!

Are you guys going to Harry Meade's birthday party?

- Definitely. - When is it?

Next week.

- Bloody hell! - Should be good. 250 people going.

- Fancy dress. - I hate fancy dress.

You have to rent a costume, which stinks of other people's BO.

Fucking royal twats.

Meet my brother, life and soul.

Oh!

What's the theme?

- You pricks! - Colonials and natives.

Then there's that.

Think they could have picked a more offensive theme?

You're such an undergraduate now. You'd have never said that before uni.

- But now I am saying it. - Cliché.

That's me done. I'm out. You fucking idiots!

- Come on, love. - You're shit. You can't fucking shoot me.

Fuck you. Fuck the rich.

- Well, hit him. - Hold on. Hold on.

- He's going. - Hold on.

Clip his arse!

That's fucking...

- You cunt! - Oh my God.

Beautiful.

Your Royal Highnesses!

I've just had a call from the Queen's private secretary.

- Can you come down? - It's never good when they come in packs.

Yeah.

Your Majesty.

My Lord Bishops.

I asked you all here today

because the Prince of Wales has requested my permission to marry Mrs. Parker Bowles.

And I think I'd like to grant it.

And, of course, as head of the Church of England,

that is your right.

But it will not be straightforward.

Or, one suspects, popular?

Why? I was led to believe

the General Synod had eased its stance on the marriage of divorcees.

Oh, it has,

but... many people in this country still believe

that the relationship between the Prince of Wales and Mrs. Parker Bowles

was responsible for the breakdown of a royal marriage.

The Church, I think, needs to be satisfied

that permitting the new marriage

would not, in effect, consecrate a past infidelity.

For the Church of England to be seen to be blessing it

could risk a split in the Anglican Communion.

One suggestion could be that, and I would be interested

in hearing the Archbishop of Canterbury's view,

that the prince and Mrs. Parker Bowles marry in a civil ceremony

and then have a church blessing afterwards.

In a registry office?

In the eyes of the Church, no marriage service is more legitimate than another.

It's more a question of signals.

Appearances.

A condition of the blessing could be some form of atonement.

Quite so. Some acknowledgment

of wrongdoing on the couple's part.

Ma'am.

The service might include a prayer of penitence,

in which the couple join with the congregation

in asking forgiveness for past

wickedness.

I've always taken comfort in the knowledge that God retaineth not his anger forever

because he delighteth in mercy.

Whatever short-term risk the marriage may present

to the integrity of the Church,

one has to imagine it would do less damage

than if I were to die a...

Well, it is going to happen one day.

...and my heir acceded to the throne

while living in sin.

Oi-oi.

- Good afternoon, sir. - Good afternoon, sir.

Your Royal Highnesses, Her Majesty will see you now.

Come on, Harry.

Harry!

Granny.

Thank you both for coming.

Now, I need some air.

Would you be very cross if I suggest we go for a walk?

I'd like to discuss your dear papa.

- What's he done now? - Nothing he's done.

It's what he wants to do.

How would you both feel... about him getting married?

I knew it.

Why can't they carry on as they are?

'Cause Charles will be king one day,

and the last time we had an unmarried king on the throne, it did not end well.

- But what's the... - William.

Obviously, both of us prefer to think of him with Mummy.

And anything other than that... feels...

Wrong. So wrong.

But, I suppose, this is the reality.

And she does seem to make him happy.

Does she?

And having him happy and settled is good for us.

And, ultimately, good for...

Good for...?

Well, as you say, he is going to be king, isn't he? One day?

Yes.

Plus, then he might finally shut up about it all.

So,

is that a yes?

Yes.

Thank you.

I didn't want to give my blessing until you'd given yours.

Yes, good.

Yes?

Ah, yes, of course.

- It's the Queen. - Your Royal Highness.

Yes, put her through, please.

Mummy.

I've spoken to the Archbishop of Canterbury

and the Bishop of Salisbury.

- I can't believe you caved like that. - I didn't cave. I'm just being a realist.

And changing your tune, not saying what you feel.

- That's what being a realist is. - You're such a fucking company man.

I'm just trying to be an adult.

I don't expect you to understand what that feels like.

So... congratulations.

Thank you.

Thank you, Mummy.

It's done.

Darling...

How was it with the boys today?

Fine.

- That's a relief. - They supported the idea of the marriage.

Slightly through gritted teeth.

Harry's more gritted than William's.

Hmm. I'm not surprised.

I worry about Harry.

Ah, well, we all do.

Some time in the army should sort him out.

Everything all right?

I think so.

Though, as you predicted,

all this talk of my funeral has stirred things up a bit.

Anything you want to discuss?

Not yet.

Well, in that case,

good night.

Good night.

Wait. Wait.

Thank you.

Your Majesty.

- You asked to see me. - I did.

I hope you know

how much everyone appreciates your beautiful music every day.

I don't mind telling you, there are days when I wake up and it all feels a bit...

Then I hear you play, and all that goes away.

Thank you, ma'am.

They've got me planning my funeral at the moment.

Just as a precaution.

And I'm in the process of choosing the music

and wondered if there was a tune for the pipes you thought might work.

Uh...

There are a number of laments

written for fallen soldiers, ma'am.

"I Will Go Home to Kintail" springs to mind.

"Lord Lovat's Lament."

But is there a particular one that you like?

What, me, ma'am?

Yes, Pipes. You.

Uh... there is...

there is one

that I particularly like.

It's "Sleep Dearie Sleep."

Will you play it for me?

What, now?

Why not?

Inside?

It's a hell of a din, ma'am.

It's not a din to me.

♪ Soldier, lie down ♪

♪ On your wee pickle straw ♪

♪ It's not very broad ♪

♪ And it's not very braw ♪

♪ But, dearie, it's better ♪

♪ Than nothing at all ♪

♪ Sleep ♪

♪ Dearie ♪

♪ Sleep ♪

Ta-da! Here we go!

What about an astronaut?

- Or a cowboy? - No, he's more of a goodie-goodie.

- Or a dick. - I'm going as a lion.

- Oh, the Lion King. - Oh, arf-arf.

I'm going to go as... What about Biggles?

- What's that got to do with colonialism? - Will.

Germany had an empire, didn't they?

What about this?

I don't know. Maybe cover the swastika?

Oh, come on. Wearing the outfit doesn't make him a Nazi.

- Isn't that the joke? - How about that wedding dress for you?

Come on. Don't pretend you haven't already thought about it.

- Thanks, Harry. Nice touch. - Your brother...

- Where's Guy? - Oh, you've got...

- It's so cute. - Hello!

The fuck?

Who stole my ganja?

- Oh my God. - Whoo.

That's my grandmother.

♪ I like the way you move ♪

Hello, darlings!

Queenie's here!

Hello! How you doing?

- All right, mate? - I'm good.

This is incredible!

Granny, what are you doing?

What am I doing?

I'm being fun!

- They have a band. - They have a band. They...

What are you doing?

Guy. Guy.

- That's naughty. - Is he going onto the stage?

Excuse me! I'm sorry.

Yes! Go on, Guy!

♪ I want to break free ♪

♪ I want to break free ♪

♪ I want to break free from your lies ♪

♪ You're so self-satisfied ♪

♪ I don't need you ♪

♪ I want to break free ♪

Fuck.

- Have you got a phone? - Yes, I've got a phone.

Sir.

Oh shit.

Oh, Harry.

God.

Fuck! Fuck!

Fuck.

Fuck.

I was a troublemaker at school.

Repeatedly caned by my housemaster.

Six of the best.

We all make mistakes in the flushes of youth.

Rarely as gross a misjudgment as this.

A swastika armband two weeks before Holocaust Memorial Day.

There's a great deal of affection in the country for Harry.

An apology, followed by a...

a period of contrition... should pave the way for forgiveness.

Is that the advice you'll be giving yourself over Iraq?

I think we can agree things are not working out too well over there.

My hope is that... the democratic elections scheduled for the end of this month

will form the beginnings of an exit strategy that should allow us

to close this chapter and move on.

Exit strategy.

Ma'am?

That's a subject that's been coming up a lot recently.

You've got to thread it through.

No, thread...

Yes, all right, thank you. I think... I remember now. Thank you.

Must go through...

Thank you.

That's it. That's it.

No, why hasn't it gone through?

It's meant to go under here.

And it hasn't.

That's it. Right about...

Stop that.

No.

Yes!

Oh, bingo.

Oh, good.

Ma'am.

Oh! There you are.

- Yes, here I still am. - No breakfast?

Wasn't hungry.

Not like you.

How was Harry?

A bit subdued.

His father's got him mucking out pigs as punishment.

That feels a little Old Testament.

I agree.

Harry was foolish to go to that party dressed in that costume,

but he was bloody unlucky

that a fellow guest should go to the newspapers like that.

Yes.

So I phoned the costume rental shop, gave them a piece of my mind.

Why?

What will it take to get you to understand, hmm?

Should I draw it in sodding crayon?

The uniform was inaccurate.

The German Afrika Korps never wore swastikas.

A fact I impressed upon the Sandhurst top brass,

who happily agree this latest episode

should not prevent Harry entering officer training.

Oh, well done.

- To ban him would be madness. - Mmm.

And would only exacerbate the real problem.

Which is?

A lack of a sense of purpose,

due to a failure of responsible parenting.

Yes.

Do you want to discuss anything before I go?

About what?

Well, the funeral. What it might have stirred up for you.

No.

Thank you.

Right, well, I'll be off.

Duty calls.

You coward. Why didn't you tell him?

What you've been thinking since you first started working on your funeral.

In fact, since the golden jubilee.

How tired... no, not just tired,

exhausted you are by it all.

Yes.

How ready for a rest.

And, at the same time, how ready he suddenly looks.

Who?

Charles.

Oh, him.

Yes.

You even have precedent. Queen Wilhelmina of the Netherlands was 68

when she stepped down in favor of her daughter.

Charlotte of Luxembourg was also in her late sixties.

That's the Netherlands and Luxembourg. Bicycle monarchies. Not the same thing.

It's exactly the same thing. And, in both cases, a great success.

You've been on the throne for over half a century.

- Longer than any queen. - Apart from Queen Victoria.

How effective was she by the end?

Rheumatic and blind, weak and unwell. Hidden away on the Isle of Wight.

You're almost 80 years old.

So everyone keeps reminding me.

That's nearly 20 years past the retirement age for women.

- No need to go on. - That's what I'm saying.

No need to go on.

Your first loyalty's always been to the Crown.

Sometimes at the expense of being a mother.

Stepping down... is the right thing to do.

As Queen and as a mother.

Your Majesty.

Everyone has now agreed on a date for the wedding.

Ninth of April. At the Guildhall in Windsor.

Oh, we also felt, given your role as head of the Church of England

and the Church's position that marriage is a lifelong commitment,

that it would be wrong for you to attend the ceremony in person.

Mmm.

The idea being you can watch the coverage on television

and, uh... and then join everyone for the service at St. George's Chapel.

And the reception at Windsor Castle.

Has the prime minister been invited to the reception?

Yes, ma'am.

- And the leader of the opposition? - Yes.

And the Archbishop of Canterbury?

Yes.

And there will be an opportunity for me to say a few words?

Oh, I'm sure everyone would be delighted. Would you like me to draft something?

That won't be necessary. I'll write something myself.

That's all. Thank you, Robin.

You were all for the uniform in the costume shop. Egging me on.

- Suddenly you're Mr. Morality. - Oh, right.

Stabbing me in the back.

How many faces does this man have?

Not sure I like who you're turning into.

- Not sure I like who you've been. - Can you stop bickering? I beg you.

How was supper?

Well, I'm sad to say it was all rather unpleasant.

- The boys were snapping at each other. - Well, that's just boys.

Can I make one request?

That you don't make my wedding day a misery.

I've waited too long for it.

Yes, but you didn't witness it. It was horrid how they were to each other.

Vicious and unkind.

They're young. Riding the waves of emotion.

Understandable after what they've been through.

Are they going to blame me, do you think, and hold me responsible

for the way they've turned out?

Well, being their father, you are responsible.

For making it better.

As soon as they're through tomorrow, everything will be fine.

Well, I do hope so.

And how are you?

Me?

I'm all right.

My sister persuaded me to get a fake tan, so now I smell like the dog's blanket.

Are you having any last-minute doubts?

Not me.

I'm in.

For all of it?

For whatever being married to you turns out to be.

Well, you might find out what that entails sooner than you imagine.

What's that supposed to mean?

Well, I've been told that the Queen intends to make a speech

at the reception afterwards.

A speech which nobody's seen

and which she's, um... written herself.

It feels like she's planning a big announcement.

My father met with Anne to ask what she thought was in it,

but she's as baffled as the rest of us.

Then Anne rang Andrew, and he went riding with the Queen,

but, well, you know Andrew.

Drew a complete blank.

So if her intention was to set tongues wagging,

she's certainly succeeded.

Don't give it any further thought.

Yes.

Just think about the boys.

Thank you, darling.

Here.

Dinner was weird.

Yeah.

When he overcompensates like that...

"This can be an exciting new chapter for us all."

Barf.

A few years ago, it would have pissed me off.

Now I just don't care.

I heard Granny's going to make a speech at the wedding.

Would you like to know what else I heard?

That she's going to use the occasion to tell the family she's standing down.

- After 50 years in the job. - She'd never do that.

And even if she did, why on Pa's big day?

Because it's the wedding present he most wants?

- He does want it, doesn't he? - Craves it.

For him and for Camilla.

If she did, know what else it would mean?

It would be you next.

That'd make you William the...

Fifth.

Better than Second.

- He was assassinated by his brother. - Was he?

Who, would you believe, was also called Prince Harry.

He had William killed in a shooting "accident,"

then galloped off to Winchester to claim the throne for himself.

Don't worry, mate. I wouldn't do that to you.

- Really? - Yeah.

Good spot for it.

And a white one.

For the boys.

Hello.

Yeah.

Bye.

Hello.

The cheers from the crowds lining the streets of Windsor

can be heard for miles around

as Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles

pass through them on the way to their civil marriage ceremony.

Wonderful scenes here as the royal couple smiles

and waves to the hundreds of well-wishers

who have been waiting since dawn to get the best view

of the happy couple.

And they've just arrived at the Guildhall,

stepping out of the Queen's own Rolls-Royce Phantom VI,

which was originally presented to Her Majesty in 1978.

I don't know what you think you're doing.

I'm doing the sensible thing.

The responsible thing.

If we're not careful, if I go on another 20, 25 years,

a tired, white-haired geriatric queen

will hand over to a tired, white-haired geriatric Prince of Wales.

Those are the rules.

But if he were then to go on another 20, 25 years,

it would mean that for the next half century,

the British monarchy would be a very decrepit experience indeed.

Is that the right thing to do to the institution?

Charles is in the prime of his life now.

Honestly, I've never heard so much nonsense.

Have you forgotten the oath that you took? I declare...

...before you all that my whole life,

whether it be long or short, shall be devoted to your service.

You're fit enough to ride and drive. You're fit enough to wear the crown.

You remember what Queen Mary told you.

Another geriatric.

Monarchy is something you are, not what you do.

The Crown is a symbol of permanence.

Of stability. Of continuity.

If you step down, you will be symbolizing instability and impermanence.

You'll also be indicating the luxury of choice,

which is the one thing we cannot have

if we claim the Crown is also our birthright.

So you would have a superannuated old lady running the show

while a fit, energetic Prince of Wales watches on,

straining at the leash.

But I don't see you as decrepit.

Since the jubilee, since Mummy's death, I see you as liberated.

Confident.

You say that Charles is in his prime.

Well, I see you in yours.

And admit it.

You sometimes think there's a difference between you and the rest of the family.

Yes.

It comes naturally to you.

They all seem to make such a mess of it.

I didn't say that.

No, but you've thought it.

Privately.

And with good reason.

This system is a dreadful thing to inflict upon people.

It's not natural.

It's not fair.

It's not kind.

But you seem to thrive in it.

And, more importantly, it seems to thrive under you.

So, shouldn't you stay for every single day that you can?

But what about the life I put aside?

The woman I put aside

when I became Queen.

What sort of question is that?

For years now,

there has been just one Elizabeth.

Queen Elizabeth.

If you went looking for Elizabeth Windsor,

you wouldn't find her.

She's gone.

Long gone.

You buried her years ago.

And here they are, His Royal Highness the Prince of Wales

and Her Royal Highness the Duchess of Cornwall

facing the public for the first time as man and wife.

No fairy-tale kiss from the happy couple for the onlookers.

Instead, smiles and a brief wave.

Ready?

Yes, I think so.

This, um...

This speech you're about to make.

Yes?

Everyone's got their knickers in a twist about it.

- Have they? - You sure you don't want to discuss it?

Quite sure. Thank you.

Come on.

♪ Praise, my soul ♪

♪ The King of Heaven ♪

♪ To his feet, thy tribute bring ♪

♪ Ransomed, healed, restored, forgiven... ♪

Almighty God,

father of our Lord, Jesus Christ,

maker of all things,

judge of all men.

We acknowledge and bewail our manifold sins and wickedness,

which we from time to time most grievously have committed

by thought, word, and deed against thy divine majesty,

provoking most justly thy wrath and indignation against us.

We do earnestly repent

and are heartily sorry for these, our misdoings.

The remembrance of them is grievous unto us.

The burden of them is intolerable.

Have mercy upon us, have mercy upon us, most merciful Father.

Forgive us all that is past.

Grant that we may ever hereafter serve and please thee in newness of life.

In the honor and glory of thy name.

- Amen. - Amen.

Sorry. Excuse me. Beg your pardon. Thank you very much.

Ready for you, ma'am.

Thank you.

Pray silence for Her Majesty the Queen.

Thank you.

I suppose one has to start these things with an introduction.

For those of you who don't know me, I am the mother of the groom.

Today has been a memorable day,

with a single happy event bringing the whole nation together.

The Grand National steeplechase finished 20 minutes ago,

and the results were as follows. Hedgehunter, the 7-1 favorite,

ridden by Ruby Walsh, trained by Willie Mullins,

won the race by 14 lengths.

Royal Eclair finished second, Simply Gifted third.

In other news,

there is a small family wedding in the Windsor area...

...which the police are keeping their eyes on.

Chief Constable Darren Dedds said he was hoping

that displays of excessive exuberance would be kept to a minimum.

Is she looking at you? She is.

She means the boys.

Almost 650 years ago,

the chapel at Windsor played host to the wedding of another Prince of Wales,

Edward, the Black Prince.

The young Edward was widely expected to marry a European princess,

but Edward had other ideas.

He set his heart on a woman he had known his whole life,

slightly his senior,

a mother who had previously been married.

What ensued was a devoted, loving marriage

that would last their whole lives.

Hear, hear.

Charles,

I know that over the years, it hasn't been easy.

Being Prince of Wales is hardly a recipe for happiness.

History has taught us that.

To be condemned to watch an old parent

do a job one can imagine oneself doing better, for years and years...

It is to your great credit that you have filled this vacuum

not, like several predecessors,

with idleness and excess,

but with a great swell of activity and charitable endeavor.

Hear, hear.

- Harry. She skipped it. - Skipped it?

And now,

a word of thanks to Camilla.

It can't have been easy for you either over the years.

But your good cheer and warm humanity work wonderfully in your favor...

Hear, hear.

...both as a strength and stay for the Prince of Wales...

and as an addition to this family.

Thank you

for your patience and forbearance.

So, now will you all raise your glasses to the young couple?

Charles and Camilla.

Charles and Camilla.

I'm gonna get you!

Girls! Oi!

This way!

No, can't get me!

Nice speech, Granny.

- Thank you. - Though surprisingly short.

Sure you didn't forget half of it?

I don't know what you're talking about.

What do you think?

I've got you!

Lovely.

It's better than the beer cans Harold wanted to tie to the bumper.

Be kind to him.

In many ways, it's harder being number two than number one.

The system protects number one.

Number two tends to...

Go mad?

I was going to say, "need extra care and attention."

- Got you! - Harry, put me down!

- Ma'am. - Ah.

Photographs.

Very good. Let's go inside, come on.

Very good.

- Come on. - Your Royal Highnesses.

Your future Majesty.

Thank you.

Your Royal Highnesses, thank you very much.

Ladies and gentlemen! Tutti!

Come on.

Girls, if you're gonna have them, keep them down,

and shush. Be quiet.

Charles. Charles.

Where's Harry?

Harry!

- There's the Queen. - Ready for you, Your Majesty.

Right. For goodness' sake! Get out of the way!

This way, please, everyone!

Our revels now are ended.

These, our actors, as I foretold you,

were all spirits and melted into air.

For God's sake, take the bloody photograph, will you?

Here we go.

Good God.

All's well that ends well.

Still, it defines the Crown.

Oh Jesus Christ.

What e'er the course,

the end is the renown.

There you go. That's it. All right.

There we go.

This way, please! This way, everyone, please! Thank you!

Thank you. Well, that was a surprise.

Where did they get those?

Ah!

There you are.

Yes.

Here I still am.

Good day, I think.

Oh yes.

I had the winner on three of the four races at Aintree.

How are you planning on celebrating?

Ooh, night on the town?

Joyriding? Ram-raiding?

Give Chief Constable Dedds something to worry about after all.

Well done with the speech.

- Thank you. - It was funny.

Don't sound so surprised.

And not a hint of the torment you've been going through.

Was it that obvious?

Yes.

But the right decision has been made.

You will continue as Queen for as long as you possibly can, for one reason.

- Because those are the rules. - No.

Because those that come after you are not remotely ready to take over.

No, but I wasn't either. Remember? I was so young.

Ah, no, no. You were always ready.

You were born ready.

You are one of a kind.

By contrast, this lot...

Mmm?

The good thing is, it's not our problem.

This is where we will be, you and I.

Right under this stone.

We'll never hear the screams from inside there.

Philip.

What?

You know I'm right.

The system makes no sense anymore to those outside it,

nor to those of us inside it.

All human things are subject to decay

And when fate summons

Even monarchs must obey

We're a dying breed, you and I.

Oh, I'm sure everyone will carry on, pretending all is well.

But the party's over.

The good news is,

that while Rome burns and the temple falls,

we will sleep, dearie, sleep.

Oh!

You looked.

Yes.

A piper's lament.

Your sole musical choice.

It's very you.

And your coffin being driven in an old Land Rover is very you.

Oh!

- You looked. - I did.

Well...

I'll leave you to it.

Say one for me?