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1
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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
1
00:00:00,229 --> 00:00:01,634
Can you hear me now?
2
00:00:01,732 --> 00:00:04,703
Roger. Loud and clear.
3
00:00:04,772 --> 00:00:06,438
- What about now?
- Affirmative hearing.
4
00:00:06,474 --> 00:00:08,306
10-4.
5
00:00:08,376 --> 00:00:11,410
Wow, this thing's
actually pretty dang cool!
6
00:00:11,479 --> 00:00:13,579
Yeah, I've been waiting weeks
for my GONAD to come in.
7
00:00:13,581 --> 00:00:14,712
Your GONAD?
8
00:00:14,749 --> 00:00:16,715
Geo-Orbital Noise Attenuation Device.
9
00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:18,183
Total game-changer.
10
00:00:18,219 --> 00:00:19,551
Connects right to my hearing aids.
11
00:00:19,553 --> 00:00:21,019
I can even choose which direction
12
00:00:21,054 --> 00:00:22,721
I want it to pick sound up from.
13
00:00:22,790 --> 00:00:24,322
And if that wasn't thrilling enough,
14
00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:25,391
it also looks just like...
15
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The memory eraser from Men in Black.
16
00:00:27,261 --> 00:00:28,761
- The neuralyzer.
- Yeah!
17
00:00:28,896 --> 00:00:31,463
Sugar! Water!
18
00:00:31,465 --> 00:00:33,332
Ah, the golden age of cinema.
19
00:00:33,467 --> 00:00:35,734
So true.
Well, I should probably head back.
20
00:00:35,803 --> 00:00:37,268
I didn't mean to sidetrack ya.
21
00:00:37,304 --> 00:00:38,603
No, no, no, I welcome the distraction.
22
00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:40,339
Our line cook is in the hospital,
23
00:00:40,341 --> 00:00:42,407
my barback called in "tired,"
24
00:00:42,410 --> 00:00:44,676
and Eddie's been
working such crazy hours
25
00:00:44,745 --> 00:00:46,544
to afford the wedding that...
26
00:00:46,580 --> 00:00:47,613
I barely see him anymore.
27
00:00:47,748 --> 00:00:48,814
That's rough.
28
00:00:48,816 --> 00:00:50,148
How's the wedding planning going?
29
00:00:50,217 --> 00:00:51,416
It's, uh...
30
00:00:51,485 --> 00:00:53,718
It's good!
31
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:56,321
Huh. I could swing by
later and give you a hand.
32
00:00:56,357 --> 00:00:57,723
I've always wanted to work in a bar,
33
00:00:57,751 --> 00:00:59,124
but I never really hear well enough.
34
00:00:59,154 --> 00:01:00,493
But now with my trusty new device,
35
00:01:00,562 --> 00:01:02,894
I think I'm GONAD-do it!
36
00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:04,730
You're right, that was bad.
37
00:01:04,865 --> 00:01:06,431
Beep-boop-beep!
38
00:01:06,434 --> 00:01:08,233
Don't remember the
neuralyzer making that noise.
39
00:01:08,269 --> 00:01:09,701
You wouldn't, would you?
40
00:01:10,335 --> 00:01:11,436
Well, it picks up around midnight,
41
00:01:11,505 --> 00:01:13,572
so if you can swing it,
I'd love the help.
42
00:01:13,707 --> 00:01:15,241
Oh, I can swing it.
I'll be back by midnight.
43
00:01:15,253 --> 00:01:17,509
- Promise?
- You can count on me.
44
00:01:19,447 --> 00:01:21,246
Dude, you're never gonna believe this,
45
00:01:21,381 --> 00:01:23,448
but I was asking Gwen how
the wedding planning's going,
46
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and she pitched up on the word "good."
47
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- "Good!"
- An octave change?
48
00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:28,186
Damn, that does mean
trouble in paradise.
49
00:01:28,222 --> 00:01:29,688
- Mm-hm.
- So you're sure you heard her right?
50
00:01:29,738 --> 00:01:32,457
One million percent. How, you ask?
51
00:01:32,460 --> 00:01:34,325
With my incredible new listening device.
52
00:01:34,361 --> 00:01:36,461
- Listening device, huh?
- Mm-hm.
53
00:01:39,934 --> 00:01:41,733
I'm truly sorry,
54
00:01:41,735 --> 00:01:43,668
but we can't buy or
offer trade-in for just
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00:01:43,737 --> 00:01:46,538
one single Victorian riding glove.
56
00:01:46,540 --> 00:01:49,675
Is this because I am old and frail?
57
00:01:49,677 --> 00:01:51,210
Oh, no, it's, um,
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00:01:51,212 --> 00:01:53,145
because people tend to
buy gloves in pairs.
59
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:54,479
You know, one, two.
60
00:01:54,482 --> 00:01:57,749
I will spank you with my clog,
you disobedient ogre!
61
00:01:57,818 --> 00:02:00,619
Oh! Uh, again, I'm very sorry,
62
00:02:00,654 --> 00:02:03,421
but we're about to close,
so if you wouldn't mind...
63
00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:06,358
Det v... mors!
64
00:02:07,962 --> 00:02:09,427
Yeah, we still can't buy it,
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but thank you so much for coming in.
66
00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:13,431
Uh-huh. Take care now.
67
00:02:15,569 --> 00:02:16,768
Did you hear that?
68
00:02:16,904 --> 00:02:19,304
Yeah. She just put a curse on you, man.
69
00:02:19,306 --> 00:02:21,506
Okay, relax, I'm not cursed.
70
00:02:21,509 --> 00:02:22,908
It's actually pronounced "curs-ed."
71
00:02:22,977 --> 00:02:24,576
Mmph, mmph! Hot, hot, hot!
72
00:02:24,612 --> 00:02:26,244
Ooh, is that hot?
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- Mmm... mm-hm!
- That's the curse.
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00:02:32,419 --> 00:02:34,419
Gather 'round for the commencement
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00:02:34,421 --> 00:02:36,855
of my favourite night of the year.
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00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:38,423
Inventory night!
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00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:39,858
Woo!
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00:02:39,860 --> 00:02:43,495
What is more fun than staying up
till the wee hours of morning
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00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:44,897
meticulously cataloguing?
80
00:02:45,032 --> 00:02:46,531
Well, riddle me this.
81
00:02:46,567 --> 00:02:48,934
Uh, why does it have
to be inventory night?
82
00:02:49,003 --> 00:02:50,802
Why not inventory... evening?
83
00:02:50,804 --> 00:02:52,438
Because we stay up until
the wee hours of the morning
84
00:02:52,465 --> 00:02:54,406
- meticulously cataloguing?
- As always,
85
00:02:54,408 --> 00:02:56,408
boxed wine will be provided,
86
00:02:56,543 --> 00:02:59,444
except for underage Keeran;
He'll get some boxed juice.
87
00:02:59,446 --> 00:03:00,746
Yes!
88
00:03:00,881 --> 00:03:04,416
Feel free to indulge so long
as every item in the store
89
00:03:04,451 --> 00:03:06,685
is logged, matched, and accounted for.
90
00:03:06,754 --> 00:03:08,253
Well, here's a thought.
91
00:03:08,255 --> 00:03:09,455
Uh, how about this year,
we challenge ourselves
92
00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:12,208
and we focus on speed
and agility, right?
93
00:03:12,243 --> 00:03:13,942
Think fast!
94
00:03:13,961 --> 00:03:16,961
Inventory is not a sprint,
it's a marathon.
95
00:03:16,997 --> 00:03:18,697
Totally, totally, but...
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00:03:18,699 --> 00:03:21,366
remember that the quickest
person in a marathon wins.
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00:03:21,501 --> 00:03:23,201
It's about accuracy here, folks.
98
00:03:23,270 --> 00:03:24,970
Yeah, but moving with speed in mind.
99
00:03:24,972 --> 00:03:27,706
Why would we rush a beautiful ritual?
100
00:03:27,775 --> 00:03:29,641
Does Santa rush his gift-giving?
101
00:03:29,677 --> 00:03:30,842
Yes.
102
00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:33,412
The point is, you can do something fast,
103
00:03:33,414 --> 00:03:34,846
or you can do it right.
104
00:03:34,882 --> 00:03:36,715
I'm a proponent of slow and wrong,
105
00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:38,750
but I do appreciate
getting paid to imbibe.
106
00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:41,319
Is that a 2014? Mama like!
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00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:47,358
Mmm... Free.
108
00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:48,527
Ha-ha!
109
00:03:48,662 --> 00:03:50,929
All that Danish lady said was
"det var mors,"
110
00:03:50,931 --> 00:03:52,664
which translates to
"it was my mother's."
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00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:54,199
Boom, no curse.
112
00:03:54,334 --> 00:03:55,667
Didn't sound like Danish to me.
113
00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:57,535
It sounded more like "det vos mors,"
114
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which translates to... oh-ho-ho...
115
00:04:00,074 --> 00:04:01,539
What? What is it?
116
00:04:01,541 --> 00:04:03,308
"Death will give you" in Latin.
117
00:04:03,310 --> 00:04:04,410
Yeah, I see
what you're trying to do here.
118
00:04:04,487 --> 00:04:06,512
A lot of athletes fall prey
to silly superstitions,
119
00:04:06,548 --> 00:04:08,714
but not this guy, 'cause I am...
120
00:04:10,384 --> 00:04:11,883
Oh, that's weird. It's my coach's son.
121
00:04:11,952 --> 00:04:14,286
Oh, that's curious.
122
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Hello?
123
00:04:16,356 --> 00:04:17,856
Oh, no...
124
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Oh, good!
125
00:04:20,361 --> 00:04:21,960
Oh, God...
126
00:04:22,655 --> 00:04:23,661
That's lucky.
127
00:04:25,099 --> 00:04:26,431
Oh, how horrible!
128
00:04:28,035 --> 00:04:29,434
Oh, what a relief!
129
00:04:30,971 --> 00:04:32,303
Oh, dear lord!
130
00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:35,973
Oh...
131
00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:40,712
My javelin coach was in a car accident.
132
00:04:40,714 --> 00:04:41,813
Oh, no.
133
00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:43,682
- It was only a fender bender.
- Oh, good.
134
00:04:43,684 --> 00:04:45,550
- But he got a concussion.
- Oh, God.
135
00:04:45,552 --> 00:04:47,853
- Luckily he was minutes from the ER.
- Well, that's lucky.
136
00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:50,321
But then at the hospital,
they found a tumour.
137
00:04:50,357 --> 00:04:51,456
Oh, how horrible.
138
00:04:51,491 --> 00:04:53,159
- But what do ya know, it's benign!
- Oh, what a relief.
139
00:04:53,209 --> 00:04:55,328
But then he got food poisoning
from the hospital cafeteria.
140
00:04:55,356 --> 00:04:57,830
- I'm talking life-threatening diarrhoea.
- Oh, dear lord.
141
00:04:57,833 --> 00:05:02,267
But that lucky son of a bitch,
he's gonna survive.
142
00:05:02,402 --> 00:05:03,935
But he's in no state to fly,
143
00:05:03,937 --> 00:05:05,603
so he's gonna miss the Olympics.
144
00:05:05,739 --> 00:05:07,405
See, I told you... she's a witch!
145
00:05:08,110 --> 00:05:09,124
Nice try.
146
00:05:09,143 --> 00:05:11,810
Yeah. No, this is fine.
147
00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:16,481
I am as coached as can be.
I am definitely not cursed.
148
00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:18,750
- You mean "curs-ed"?
- I don't, Wayne!
149
00:05:19,873 --> 00:05:21,386
I'm not shaken.
150
00:05:21,522 --> 00:05:22,754
I'm unshakeable.
151
00:05:25,425 --> 00:05:27,959
You... you see that, too, right?
That is definitely a ghost!
152
00:05:28,028 --> 00:05:30,495
That is not a ghost.
153
00:05:30,630 --> 00:05:31,830
That's my daughter.
154
00:05:31,965 --> 00:05:33,565
Virginia? What are you doing here?
155
00:05:33,567 --> 00:05:34,966
That is your daughter?
156
00:05:35,102 --> 00:05:38,370
Dad went out and I was too
scared to stay home all alone.
157
00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:40,905
What if someone broke in and
no one was there to protect me?
158
00:05:40,974 --> 00:05:42,040
Aww.
159
00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:44,375
- Can I stay?
- Of course you can stay, V.
160
00:05:44,411 --> 00:05:46,778
An extra set of hands to help
speed along inventory night.
161
00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:50,449
Ah! Virginia has Bible study homework.
162
00:05:50,451 --> 00:05:52,517
You can do it in the office, my angel.
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00:05:58,125 --> 00:06:00,658
You keep your hormonal little paws
164
00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:03,995
far away from my innocent angel,
165
00:06:04,064 --> 00:06:07,064
or I will fire you faster
than you can say "yes, boss!"
166
00:06:07,101 --> 00:06:08,200
Capiche?
167
00:06:08,202 --> 00:06:10,068
Blow-tally. Totally!
168
00:06:20,147 --> 00:06:22,080
Alright, huddle time. Come on.
169
00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:26,151
Listen, we all know inventory
night is a bit of a sham, right?
170
00:06:26,153 --> 00:06:27,953
I mean, we try to get the numbers exact,
171
00:06:28,088 --> 00:06:30,655
but human error be doin'
what human error be doin'.
172
00:06:30,657 --> 00:06:32,423
That's why I like to use a little method
173
00:06:32,459 --> 00:06:33,758
I call guesstimation.
174
00:06:33,761 --> 00:06:34,959
Ah, yes.
175
00:06:34,995 --> 00:06:36,495
A portmanteau of "guess"
and "estimation."
176
00:06:36,497 --> 00:06:37,562
You're familiar with the word?
177
00:06:37,631 --> 00:06:39,399
- Yeah, we're all familiar with it.
- Of course I'm familiar with the word.
178
00:06:39,430 --> 00:06:41,333
Did you think you invented that word?
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00:06:41,356 --> 00:06:43,936
All I'm sayin' is
let's eyeball a little here,
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00:06:43,987 --> 00:06:45,770
summarize a smidge there.
181
00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:46,848
No big deal.
182
00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:48,973
Hmm, I dunno.
It's like a mulligan in golf.
183
00:06:49,009 --> 00:06:50,709
It's not gonna feel right in the end.
184
00:06:50,844 --> 00:06:52,577
- Hmm, I agree.
- Won't Cynthia mind?
185
00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:54,847
- I was thinking about drinking all night.
- We get outta here before midnight,
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00:06:54,874 --> 00:06:57,782
you still get paid for
a full 12-hour shift.
187
00:06:57,851 --> 00:06:59,484
- I love mulligans.
- Cynthia won't mind.
188
00:06:59,619 --> 00:07:01,853
Love that.
189
00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:04,522
One, two, three... Looks like 36 to me.
190
00:07:08,162 --> 00:07:09,694
Hey, have you seen Cynthia?
191
00:07:09,696 --> 00:07:11,263
I thought she was in
soccer but I haven't...
192
00:07:11,265 --> 00:07:12,297
- Here I am!
- Ahh!
193
00:07:12,344 --> 00:07:13,998
- What's up?
- I just wanted to let you know
194
00:07:14,034 --> 00:07:17,102
that at the rate we're going,
we should be finished tout suite.
195
00:07:17,159 --> 00:07:18,670
- Mm-hm!
- Before midnight, even.
196
00:07:18,760 --> 00:07:21,940
I heard my mom tell my dad
that you get untimely boners
197
00:07:22,075 --> 00:07:23,542
all the time.
198
00:07:23,677 --> 00:07:25,877
Almost too tout suite.
199
00:07:26,012 --> 00:07:27,946
Maybe we should do
a recount just in case.
200
00:07:28,015 --> 00:07:29,948
Aww...
201
00:07:30,017 --> 00:07:31,616
Are those church bells?
202
00:07:31,652 --> 00:07:33,752
I don't remember any
churches in the area.
203
00:07:33,887 --> 00:07:35,554
What the hell?
204
00:07:35,556 --> 00:07:36,955
Hey, how did that get here?
205
00:07:37,024 --> 00:07:38,856
Do you have a boner right now?
206
00:07:38,858 --> 00:07:40,892
No... Oh... it's there!
207
00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,460
Can I see it?
208
00:07:42,595 --> 00:07:44,296
- No. Your mom said no.
- Shh!
209
00:07:44,298 --> 00:07:46,231
Cynthia doesn't need to know.
210
00:07:46,233 --> 00:07:48,099
I thought you didn't buy
that from scary grandma.
211
00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:49,234
I didn't.
212
00:07:53,707 --> 00:07:55,840
Pretty sure a crow just
chose to end its life
213
00:07:55,876 --> 00:07:57,776
against our window.
214
00:07:57,911 --> 00:07:59,244
You call your mom by her first name?
215
00:07:59,246 --> 00:08:01,780
- Is that even allowed?
- No...
216
00:08:01,782 --> 00:08:03,982
But that's why I do it!
217
00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:10,488
Augh...
218
00:08:11,758 --> 00:08:12,924
Oh!
219
00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:16,627
The curse!
220
00:08:22,469 --> 00:08:26,805
According to my records,
there were 829 white balls,
221
00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:32,277
159 yellow, 78 orange, and 4 sky blue.
222
00:08:32,412 --> 00:08:33,745
Well, easy peasy, right?
223
00:08:33,747 --> 00:08:35,314
We'll just gather what we can
and chalk up the missing ones
224
00:08:35,404 --> 00:08:37,482
to the hilarious accounting
term you taught me.
225
00:08:37,564 --> 00:08:39,117
Shrinkage is no laughing matter!
226
00:08:39,158 --> 00:08:42,354
- I mean, they're just golf balls.
- No, they are inventory!
227
00:08:42,489 --> 00:08:44,823
And a tripping lawsuit
just waiting to happen.
228
00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:46,691
I dunno, Cynth. Maybe we should call it.
229
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:49,093
The vibe feels rather macabre tonight.
230
00:08:49,095 --> 00:08:50,929
Yeah, it kinda feels like
Mercury's in retrograde
231
00:08:50,998 --> 00:08:52,097
or something.
232
00:08:52,232 --> 00:08:54,799
Actually, it's in retroshade,
233
00:08:54,801 --> 00:08:56,134
which is worse.
234
00:08:56,269 --> 00:08:57,402
Enough!
235
00:08:57,404 --> 00:08:59,771
No golf balls left behind!
236
00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:01,039
DJ, back me up.
237
00:09:02,309 --> 00:09:03,374
DJ...?
238
00:09:10,417 --> 00:09:11,517
Oh my God. Thank God you're here.
239
00:09:11,608 --> 00:09:14,420
- Can you slice these up real quick?
- Of course, no problem at all!
240
00:09:14,440 --> 00:09:16,321
Hey, uh, funny story...
241
00:09:16,390 --> 00:09:18,990
Well, not so much funny.
Not even a story, really.
242
00:09:19,026 --> 00:09:21,726
But, um, I just have to
finish up a few more things
243
00:09:21,861 --> 00:09:24,229
at the store and then
I will be right back.
244
00:09:24,231 --> 00:09:26,064
I promise you.
You can still count on me.
245
00:09:26,199 --> 00:09:27,532
Okay. Thank you. Can you drop those off
246
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:29,734
- at the table over there, please?
- Of course.
247
00:09:29,769 --> 00:09:33,338
The lemons are done for you
and you can count on me. Right.
248
00:09:34,541 --> 00:09:35,774
What the f...
249
00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:37,643
"How to exorcise a demon
curse before death gives you."
250
00:09:37,736 --> 00:09:38,944
Wiki's got the instructions right here.
251
00:09:38,966 --> 00:09:41,279
- God bless wiki!
- Ha-ha! Okay!
252
00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:44,282
So, it looks like
we're gonna need to perform
253
00:09:44,284 --> 00:09:46,417
a cleansing ritual before
the maleficent force
254
00:09:46,453 --> 00:09:50,021
- settles into a virgin.
- Okay, good thing I've had so much sex.
255
00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:52,290
Yeah... uh, step one,
destroy the curs-ed object.
256
00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:54,392
Aw, damn,
that really does roll off the tongue.
257
00:09:54,428 --> 00:09:55,460
- It does, doesn't it?
- Yeah.
258
00:09:55,495 --> 00:09:57,962
- Uh, okay.
- Alright.
259
00:09:58,031 --> 00:09:59,931
Um, you take this.
260
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,300
And... I'll take that.
261
00:10:02,302 --> 00:10:05,002
And... one of these.
262
00:10:06,073 --> 00:10:08,674
Whoosh! Alright, nice! Step two...
263
00:10:08,712 --> 00:10:09,474
- Yes.
- Here we go!
264
00:10:09,566 --> 00:10:11,110
Take a box made of mirrors.
265
00:10:11,158 --> 00:10:13,278
Place the curser's
likeness inside the box
266
00:10:13,347 --> 00:10:15,246
so that it may reflect upon itself,
267
00:10:15,248 --> 00:10:17,148
then recite the lifting spell.
268
00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:19,250
Okay, Cynthia has compact
mirrors in her locker.
269
00:10:19,319 --> 00:10:20,518
Why do you know all that?
270
00:10:20,554 --> 00:10:22,254
Because it's important to
know who you work with, okay?
271
00:10:22,343 --> 00:10:23,923
Do you wanna write that down
in your little red diary,
272
00:10:23,966 --> 00:10:26,726
- or shall we expel a demon, Hauser?
- Wait, how do you...? Ugh, never mind!
273
00:10:26,732 --> 00:10:29,227
Where are we gonna find
the curser's likeness?
274
00:10:29,314 --> 00:10:31,363
Oh... Leave it to me!
275
00:10:32,599 --> 00:10:35,133
Where is it? There it is!
276
00:10:35,168 --> 00:10:36,935
Always knew it belonged in the trash.
277
00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:39,070
Always knew I needed it for an exorcism.
278
00:10:39,106 --> 00:10:41,005
Yeah, that'll do, Wayne.
279
00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:42,050
That'll do.
280
00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:47,112
Peek-a-boo!
281
00:10:47,247 --> 00:10:48,413
- I was just peeing!
- What?
282
00:10:48,415 --> 00:10:50,215
Didn't you say, "pee or poo?"
283
00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:53,485
I said "peek-a-boo," but... that's hot.
284
00:10:53,487 --> 00:10:54,819
Totally!
285
00:10:54,954 --> 00:10:56,020
Wait... what's hot?
286
00:10:56,056 --> 00:10:57,489
The human body, Keeran.
287
00:10:57,624 --> 00:11:01,359
And the many things it's capable of.
288
00:11:04,011 --> 00:11:06,164
- Take me!
- Okay...?
289
00:11:07,087 --> 00:11:08,166
Oh, ow, it's stuck!
290
00:11:08,301 --> 00:11:09,467
- Pull it out!
- I can't!
291
00:11:09,532 --> 00:11:12,004
Don't be a little nerd!
292
00:11:12,017 --> 00:11:14,907
- Vade in aër, satana!
- You gotta hit that umlaut harder!
293
00:11:14,968 --> 00:11:16,509
Okay, well you're not
rocking back and forth
294
00:11:16,553 --> 00:11:18,979
- violently enough, so... ugh!
- Okay, well, let's do this, then.
295
00:11:19,066 --> 00:11:23,115
Vade in aër, satana! Vade in aër!
296
00:11:23,188 --> 00:11:24,383
What the hell are you doing?
297
00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:26,118
DJ, we don't wanna have
to involve you in this,
298
00:11:26,132 --> 00:11:27,485
- so just walk away.
- The store is curs-ed!
299
00:11:27,548 --> 00:11:28,721
Curs-ed?
300
00:11:28,814 --> 00:11:31,423
You can't be serious.
What happened to working together
301
00:11:31,475 --> 00:11:34,059
so we can get outta here early?
Okay? Come on.
302
00:11:34,076 --> 00:11:35,994
Focus, please.
303
00:11:36,129 --> 00:11:37,328
Yeah.
304
00:11:37,397 --> 00:11:39,396
- Unbelievable.
- Sorry, boss.
305
00:11:39,433 --> 00:11:40,931
Won't happen again.
306
00:11:40,967 --> 00:11:41,973
Again?
307
00:11:42,002 --> 00:11:43,067
Vade in aër...
308
00:11:43,136 --> 00:11:46,204
I ask for one malarkey-free night.
309
00:11:46,273 --> 00:11:47,471
What's up, man?
310
00:11:47,473 --> 00:11:50,575
I feel an uncharacteristic
negative aura around you.
311
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:53,678
I was hoping to finish
early tonight to help Gwen
312
00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:56,347
out of a bind, but...
seems like everyone else
313
00:11:56,383 --> 00:11:58,216
just wants to mess around.
314
00:11:58,285 --> 00:12:00,551
Seems like a lot of stress
to take on to impress
315
00:12:00,587 --> 00:12:02,487
an engaged woman.
316
00:12:02,622 --> 00:12:04,989
No, no,
you're getting it all wrong, buddy.
317
00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:06,924
Gwen's a friend, and only a friend.
318
00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:09,026
Who are you really lying to,
319
00:12:09,096 --> 00:12:11,496
me or yourself?
320
00:12:11,631 --> 00:12:14,699
Both. You're good.
321
00:12:17,104 --> 00:12:18,104
_
322
00:12:18,105 --> 00:12:19,603
Oh, I gotta...
323
00:12:19,639 --> 00:12:22,974
Continue the same pattern
of ill-advised behaviour?
324
00:12:23,109 --> 00:12:25,076
Right again. Bye!
325
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:26,110
Okay.
326
00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:34,185
You seeing what I'm seeing?
327
00:12:34,221 --> 00:12:35,953
It's just a superstition, right?
328
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:49,100
Oh, look! The last yellow golf ball.
329
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:53,070
Oh! Oh...
330
00:12:53,206 --> 00:12:55,072
Oh, my... ohh!
331
00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:56,407
That was crazy!
332
00:12:58,678 --> 00:13:00,211
Start the incantation
from the beginning?
333
00:13:00,247 --> 00:13:01,546
This time with feeling.
334
00:13:01,548 --> 00:13:03,281
Oof! Son of a...
335
00:13:05,552 --> 00:13:07,119
Hey, Gwen, sorry I left.
You got any more lemons?
336
00:13:07,158 --> 00:13:09,021
No, no, no!
The lemons have been through enough.
337
00:13:09,082 --> 00:13:10,755
Actually, good news.
338
00:13:10,798 --> 00:13:12,323
I don't need you anymore.
339
00:13:12,359 --> 00:13:14,092
Eddie dropped everything to be here.
340
00:13:14,094 --> 00:13:15,293
Isn't he sweet?
341
00:13:15,362 --> 00:13:17,929
- Oh, Eddie's here.
- Hey!
342
00:13:17,998 --> 00:13:20,031
- So you're good?
- Yeah, I'm good.
343
00:13:20,166 --> 00:13:21,366
Sorry, I didn't quite catch that.
344
00:13:21,501 --> 00:13:23,100
You're good or you're... good?
345
00:13:23,170 --> 00:13:25,169
I'm good. In fact, I'm great.
346
00:13:27,741 --> 00:13:30,241
That's... terrific.
347
00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:31,576
You naughty devil.
348
00:13:33,746 --> 00:13:35,380
I think that lifting spell worked.
349
00:13:35,382 --> 00:13:36,581
Feels lighter in here.
350
00:13:36,650 --> 00:13:38,650
Yeah, I would describe
the air as tranquil.
351
00:13:38,652 --> 00:13:39,984
- Mm-hm.
- Uh, wait.
352
00:13:40,119 --> 00:13:41,252
Keeran?
353
00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:43,821
Aww. You alright, little buddy?
354
00:13:45,458 --> 00:13:47,391
- Oh my God!
- We're too late!
355
00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:49,127
The curse has settled into a virgin!
356
00:13:49,262 --> 00:13:51,195
It hurts... help me!
357
00:13:51,231 --> 00:13:53,063
Easy there, big guy.
358
00:13:53,099 --> 00:13:54,365
Helllp!
359
00:13:56,736 --> 00:13:58,535
Sorry we have to do this, buddy.
360
00:13:58,572 --> 00:14:00,605
We don't know what
this curse is capable of.
361
00:14:00,934 --> 00:14:02,273
Hush, Keeran.
362
00:14:02,275 --> 00:14:04,475
We're just trying to rip
a demon from your body.
363
00:14:04,477 --> 00:14:06,044
Okay, we need to surround him
in a ring of salt
364
00:14:06,126 --> 00:14:08,380
- and recite an incantation.
- There's de-icing salt in the back.
365
00:14:08,385 --> 00:14:09,782
I'll go grab that. You guard Keeran.
366
00:14:09,816 --> 00:14:11,584
Whoa, you wanna leave me
alone with incubus Keeran?!
367
00:14:11,625 --> 00:14:14,285
- No thank you much!
- Ugh!
368
00:14:16,690 --> 00:14:18,356
Well, well, well...
369
00:14:18,425 --> 00:14:20,591
What do we have here?
370
00:14:20,627 --> 00:14:25,430
Okay, boner boy,
safe word is blink twice.
371
00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:28,166
Okay!
372
00:14:28,301 --> 00:14:29,834
Mmm, I can't wait
373
00:14:29,836 --> 00:14:31,035
to swallow you up.
374
00:14:31,170 --> 00:14:32,370
Swallow you up?
375
00:14:32,439 --> 00:14:33,605
Mmm, in the back seat of your car...
376
00:14:33,686 --> 00:14:34,873
That's right, my GONAD.
377
00:14:34,894 --> 00:14:36,841
Please, please
wear the negligee I bought you.
378
00:14:36,859 --> 00:14:38,743
- Oh, which one?
- I dunno, I dunno.
379
00:14:38,750 --> 00:14:41,479
Like the one I ripped off
you last time we boned?
380
00:14:41,614 --> 00:14:44,082
- Oh, you're so bad!
- You love it!
381
00:14:44,084 --> 00:14:48,152
Excuse me, I forgot my, uh...
382
00:14:48,288 --> 00:14:50,154
vape.
383
00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:51,589
I didn't know you vaped.
384
00:14:51,658 --> 00:14:53,758
Oh, uh...
385
00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:57,128
Vape bros! Yes!
386
00:14:57,197 --> 00:14:59,397
What flavour you packin'?
387
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:01,399
- Pizza?
- Sick!
388
00:15:01,468 --> 00:15:03,067
Mine's cedarwood.
389
00:15:03,202 --> 00:15:04,205
- Wow.
- Very close!
390
00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:05,270
- Yeah, so close.
- Yeah!
391
00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:07,138
Alright, see ya!
392
00:15:12,679 --> 00:15:14,412
I'm in unspeakable pain,
393
00:15:14,547 --> 00:15:17,015
- but I saved inventory night!
- Mm-hm, mm-hm.
394
00:15:17,150 --> 00:15:21,018
No thanks to DJ and his
hurry-scurry shenanigans.
395
00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:25,356
Come on, I saved the best box of chard'
to celebrate!
396
00:15:25,491 --> 00:15:27,491
- Ooh!
- Uh-oh, what's gonna happen?
397
00:15:27,527 --> 00:15:28,759
We're gonna drink!
398
00:15:32,565 --> 00:15:34,298
Get off my daughter!
399
00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:37,568
Exorcizamus satanica spiritus!
400
00:15:38,361 --> 00:15:40,205
Hey, can I talk to you for a sec?
401
00:15:40,295 --> 00:15:42,206
Yeah.
402
00:15:45,345 --> 00:15:46,644
I just...
403
00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:50,114
uh, want to... need to apologize
404
00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:51,649
for not being much help tonight.
405
00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:53,717
Oh, DJ, don't worry about it.
406
00:15:53,753 --> 00:15:56,120
No, the last thing
I wanted to do was add
407
00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:57,188
to your list of worries.
408
00:15:57,257 --> 00:16:00,091
The bar, the wedding.
409
00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:01,492
Speaking of...
410
00:16:01,528 --> 00:16:03,628
I thought I picked up
on something earlier.
411
00:16:03,763 --> 00:16:06,564
Is everything really
going okay with that?
412
00:16:07,475 --> 00:16:09,600
Honestly...
413
00:16:09,602 --> 00:16:11,669
no.
414
00:16:11,738 --> 00:16:14,271
Our caterers got shut down
by the health inspector,
415
00:16:14,341 --> 00:16:16,807
Eddie's divorced parents
keep making death threats
416
00:16:16,843 --> 00:16:19,277
at one another,
and the church my grandma got married in
417
00:16:19,412 --> 00:16:20,611
has asbestos.
418
00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:24,148
It was starting to feel like
this whole thing was cursed.
419
00:16:24,283 --> 00:16:26,684
- There's no easy way for me to...
- But then...
420
00:16:26,753 --> 00:16:28,819
who showed up with
two tickets to Cancun?
421
00:16:31,291 --> 00:16:33,457
God, my sweet, sweet Eddie.
422
00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:38,396
We're gonna elope.
423
00:16:38,398 --> 00:16:41,566
Anyway, we all good?
424
00:16:41,568 --> 00:16:44,302
Yup. All good.
425
00:16:44,304 --> 00:16:46,170
All good!
426
00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:53,744
Omnis satanica potestas!
427
00:16:53,780 --> 00:16:55,913
What the hell is going on here?!
428
00:16:59,753 --> 00:17:01,452
There's a perfectly grounded
explanation for all of...
429
00:17:01,587 --> 00:17:04,455
We're expelling the
curse from Keeran's body!
430
00:17:04,491 --> 00:17:05,496
What? I thought I told you two
431
00:17:05,541 --> 00:17:06,725
there's no such thing as curses!
432
00:17:06,765 --> 00:17:08,861
Okay, well, then how do you
explain away all of tonight's
433
00:17:08,952 --> 00:17:12,196
weird, creepy occurrences like
the golf ball tower exploding?
434
00:17:12,232 --> 00:17:13,531
Oh, uh, that was me.
435
00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:15,867
I knocked into a wall and it
caused a chain of destruction.
436
00:17:15,902 --> 00:17:17,135
Chain of destruction.
437
00:17:17,137 --> 00:17:18,836
Uh, well,
the spooky black cat that was in here?
438
00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:20,604
- Spooky black cat.
- Oh, that's the alley cat
439
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:21,973
I was feeding.
440
00:17:22,070 --> 00:17:24,875
And why is a black cat
so spooky, anyway?
441
00:17:24,944 --> 00:17:26,777
- That's a good point, actually.
- Oh, that's... yeah.
442
00:17:26,780 --> 00:17:28,380
What about the crow
hitting the window, hmm? Yeah.
443
00:17:28,474 --> 00:17:31,215
Oh, maybe because
I just cleaned the windows;
444
00:17:31,250 --> 00:17:32,950
turned them into an avian death trap.
445
00:17:32,986 --> 00:17:35,152
I heard church bells!
There's no churches around here.
446
00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:37,722
That was my phone reminder
to take my birth control.
447
00:17:37,755 --> 00:17:39,924
- At midnight?
- No one was asking about that!
448
00:17:39,925 --> 00:17:41,326
Alright, how do you explain away
449
00:17:41,422 --> 00:17:42,727
Carrie on prom night over here?
450
00:17:42,771 --> 00:17:44,896
His tongue got caught in my braces
451
00:17:44,898 --> 00:17:46,230
when we were smashin' mouth!
452
00:17:46,365 --> 00:17:47,366
Ugh, okay.
453
00:17:47,434 --> 00:17:48,665
Huh.
454
00:17:48,701 --> 00:17:51,368
Seems like you were right
all along, boss man.
455
00:17:52,772 --> 00:17:54,171
No.
456
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:55,773
Cynthia was right.
457
00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:57,608
I was distracted.
458
00:17:57,610 --> 00:17:59,577
And when your leader is distracted,
459
00:17:59,712 --> 00:18:03,414
how can you expect
any less from your team?
460
00:18:03,483 --> 00:18:05,950
I should have minded
my business, literally.
461
00:18:05,952 --> 00:18:07,918
I'm glad you learned a lesson.
462
00:18:07,987 --> 00:18:11,388
I think we all learned
something tonight.
463
00:18:11,458 --> 00:18:14,658
Some of us a little more
than we would have liked!
464
00:18:14,694 --> 00:18:19,997
Now, let's just clean up
this unholy mess and go home.
465
00:18:19,999 --> 00:18:21,332
Yeah.
466
00:18:22,969 --> 00:18:24,701
Sorry I had to tie you up, buddy.
467
00:18:24,735 --> 00:18:25,736
Don't be.
468
00:18:25,738 --> 00:18:28,639
I'm the luckiest boner boy in the world.
469
00:18:31,744 --> 00:18:34,411
Go to the car and read your Bible,
Virginia!
470
00:18:34,413 --> 00:18:36,547
Sure, Cynthia. I friggin' love God!
471
00:18:43,690 --> 00:18:45,322
Please don't fire me!
472
00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:48,893
It's not your fault, Keeran.
473
00:18:48,962 --> 00:18:51,595
I wanted to believe
that Virginia was still
474
00:18:51,664 --> 00:18:53,297
my innocent, little angel.
475
00:18:53,432 --> 00:18:54,965
But...
476
00:18:55,034 --> 00:18:57,334
the apple doesn't fall
far from the tree.
477
00:18:59,906 --> 00:19:01,906
What does that mean?
478
00:19:03,076 --> 00:19:04,608
I have said too much.
479
00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:07,445
Stay away from her,
Keeran, for your own sake.
480
00:19:10,349 --> 00:19:13,784
Mama made a bad, bad baby...
481
00:19:13,853 --> 00:19:15,219
Mmm!
482
00:19:17,690 --> 00:19:18,789
What...?
483
00:19:18,791 --> 00:19:19,991
How'd she take it?
484
00:19:20,126 --> 00:19:22,326
I didn't even tell her.
485
00:19:22,461 --> 00:19:24,228
I'm a coward.
486
00:19:24,363 --> 00:19:26,297
I mean, it's gonna crush her, man.
487
00:19:26,432 --> 00:19:27,764
Do I know Eddie's cheating on Gwen?
488
00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:28,933
Yeah, I do.
489
00:19:28,935 --> 00:19:30,701
And does Gwen have the right to know
490
00:19:30,703 --> 00:19:31,769
that Eddie's cheating on her?
491
00:19:31,771 --> 00:19:32,970
Yeah, of course.
492
00:19:32,972 --> 00:19:35,840
Do I wanna be the one to tell her
that Eddie's cheating on her?
493
00:19:35,913 --> 00:19:37,600
No, I do not.
494
00:19:38,040 --> 00:19:39,510
I mean, what do you suppose I say?
495
00:19:39,587 --> 00:19:41,778
"Hey Gwen, Eddie's cheating on you!
496
00:19:41,814 --> 00:19:43,881
"Eddie's a giant cheating McCheater!"?
497
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:48,753
Gwen!
498
00:19:50,423 --> 00:19:51,856
When did you get here?
499
00:19:51,858 --> 00:19:53,891
Just in time to hear
"Eddie's cheating on Gwen"
500
00:19:53,893 --> 00:19:55,392
about 75 times.
501
00:19:58,898 --> 00:19:59,997
Beep...
502
00:19:59,999 --> 00:20:01,832
boop... beep?
503
00:20:16,782 --> 00:20:18,382
As if curses even exist.
504
00:20:19,433 --> 00:20:20,985
I dunno what got into us!
505
00:20:21,006 --> 00:20:22,921
I can't believe I let a
lesser mind lead me astray!
506
00:20:22,943 --> 00:20:25,990
- Trust me, it will never happen again.
- Hello!
507
00:20:26,062 --> 00:20:28,426
Uh, I'm looking for my glove.
508
00:20:28,428 --> 00:20:30,528
I left it behind the other day.
509
00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:32,497
Did you? Um, glove?
No, I haven't seen it.
510
00:20:32,545 --> 00:20:34,465
- He burned it!
- We burned it together!
511
00:20:34,473 --> 00:20:36,767
But it was my mother's glove!
512
00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:38,535
- So that was what you said!
- Oh!
513
00:20:38,605 --> 00:20:40,871
Oh, man! We thought you cursed us.
514
00:20:41,394 --> 00:20:42,439
So funny.
515
00:20:43,543 --> 00:20:48,412
Jeg forbander din blodlinje!
516
00:20:48,448 --> 00:20:50,014
- Uh...
- Is your translator app on?
517
00:20:50,016 --> 00:20:52,549
Make no mistake, that was a curse!
518
00:21:04,631 --> 00:21:06,884
- I'll get the salt.
- Yeah.
519
00:21:36,158 --> 00:21:38,150
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
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