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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.CO 1 00:00:00,216 --> 00:00:01,701 Hey, there he is! 2 00:00:01,791 --> 00:00:03,478 Got some big news for you, buddy. 3 00:00:03,504 --> 00:00:04,570 I'm getting a promotion?! 4 00:00:04,572 --> 00:00:05,871 Ha! No, no. 5 00:00:05,873 --> 00:00:07,172 Absolutely not. 6 00:00:07,174 --> 00:00:08,840 But you are getting more responsibility. 7 00:00:08,876 --> 00:00:10,008 Awesome! 8 00:00:10,077 --> 00:00:12,044 It's time for you to take the training wheels off. 9 00:00:12,179 --> 00:00:13,645 We're gonna let you start handling trade-ins 10 00:00:13,781 --> 00:00:15,783 - like a big boy. - Really? 11 00:00:15,850 --> 00:00:17,850 Determining the value of the equipment we take in 12 00:00:17,985 --> 00:00:19,184 is a sacred duty. 13 00:00:19,253 --> 00:00:21,319 Used sports goods are the lifeblood of this store. 14 00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:23,188 Oh-ho, sounds like someone's been studying 15 00:00:23,323 --> 00:00:24,790 the employee handbook, 16 00:00:24,792 --> 00:00:27,325 which only reinforces my belief that you're ready. 17 00:00:27,327 --> 00:00:29,661 Now, I know you know this is a huge responsibility. 18 00:00:29,730 --> 00:00:32,230 Make sure you have some fun with it too, okay? 19 00:00:32,299 --> 00:00:35,066 You never forget your first trade-in... 20 00:00:36,404 --> 00:00:38,503 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 21 00:00:40,141 --> 00:00:41,673 That was amazing. 22 00:00:41,675 --> 00:00:44,043 Tell it again. 23 00:00:45,612 --> 00:00:47,712 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 24 00:00:49,283 --> 00:00:51,349 That was even better the second time. 25 00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:54,219 Hey, I, uh, I'm looking to trade in some stuff. 26 00:00:54,354 --> 00:00:55,888 You got this, champ. 27 00:00:55,890 --> 00:00:57,789 Just make sure everything's in working order 28 00:00:57,792 --> 00:00:59,324 and pay him what you think it's worth. 29 00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:00,692 Okay, okay. 30 00:01:00,827 --> 00:01:01,994 Wait, you're leaving?! 31 00:01:02,129 --> 00:01:03,829 This is something you must face alone. 32 00:01:03,831 --> 00:01:05,163 Okay. 33 00:01:05,199 --> 00:01:07,632 Also, I got killer gas and you know we don't fart on the floor. 34 00:01:13,774 --> 00:01:15,507 This is all garbage! 35 00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:17,910 He bought torn badminton birdies, 36 00:01:17,912 --> 00:01:21,146 these skates from the mesozoic era, and... eww! 37 00:01:21,282 --> 00:01:23,248 A used mouthguard! 38 00:01:23,284 --> 00:01:26,117 Who is gonna buy a used mouthguard? 39 00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:27,586 Don't worry, they still work! 40 00:01:27,655 --> 00:01:29,287 Ugh, spit that out! Spit it! 41 00:01:29,356 --> 00:01:31,457 I hate to interrupt you mid-admonishment, Cynth, 42 00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:35,494 but look at this signature. What does that say? 43 00:01:35,563 --> 00:01:38,530 - Rocket... Richard...? - Rocket Richard! 44 00:01:38,665 --> 00:01:40,866 - Maurice "the Rocket" Richard? - Who is that? 45 00:01:40,935 --> 00:01:43,001 He's a Montreal Habs legend! 46 00:01:43,003 --> 00:01:44,336 He's the Babe Ruth of hockey! 47 00:01:44,338 --> 00:01:45,537 Some might even say Babe Ruth 48 00:01:45,573 --> 00:01:47,005 is the Rocket Richard of baseball. 49 00:01:47,041 --> 00:01:48,406 Really? 50 00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:50,375 I've never heard anyone say that, but someone might. 51 00:01:50,411 --> 00:01:52,945 Do you think that this is the genuine article? 52 00:01:52,947 --> 00:01:55,547 - Guess we'll never know. - We could call an appraiser! 53 00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:58,550 I guess we'll know soon enough. 54 00:01:58,685 --> 00:01:59,984 Hey, Jen. 55 00:02:00,020 --> 00:02:01,820 Snack time! 56 00:02:03,023 --> 00:02:04,723 For the love of... 57 00:02:04,725 --> 00:02:08,694 What in God's good grace is this? 58 00:02:08,829 --> 00:02:10,262 You ever heard of Christine Lavigne? 59 00:02:10,331 --> 00:02:11,496 Is... is this her? 60 00:02:11,565 --> 00:02:12,631 What? No! 61 00:02:12,700 --> 00:02:14,266 She's the world's greatest javelin thrower 62 00:02:14,401 --> 00:02:15,901 and she eats nothing but raw spleen 63 00:02:16,036 --> 00:02:17,502 to get her body into shape. 64 00:02:17,504 --> 00:02:21,105 Ugh! Seems... unappetizing. 65 00:02:21,142 --> 00:02:22,707 I'll tell you what's unappetizing, 66 00:02:22,776 --> 00:02:25,510 failing Olympic qualifications by 1.3 centimetres. 67 00:02:25,546 --> 00:02:28,647 Aw, Jen! You didn't qualify? 68 00:02:28,782 --> 00:02:30,215 Nope! 69 00:02:30,350 --> 00:02:33,452 Placed 33rd worldwide and 32 get in. 70 00:02:33,587 --> 00:02:36,254 Ooh, tough break. 71 00:02:36,390 --> 00:02:39,224 So... you're saying that you're gonna eat 72 00:02:39,359 --> 00:02:42,527 nothing but raw spleen for four years? 73 00:02:42,530 --> 00:02:44,263 Is your coach suggesting this? 74 00:02:44,398 --> 00:02:45,797 No, he's fiercely opposed to it. 75 00:02:45,799 --> 00:02:48,400 Yet you still think it's wise. 76 00:02:48,469 --> 00:02:50,635 I don't know, Cynthia, why don't you ask 77 00:02:50,704 --> 00:02:52,670 Christine "the Spleen Queen" Lavigne? 78 00:02:52,706 --> 00:02:55,741 Come on, you think spleen did that? 79 00:02:55,743 --> 00:02:57,342 Oh, I mean, she trains, too, 80 00:02:57,344 --> 00:02:59,277 but spleen is definitely the X factor. 81 00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:03,815 I am gonna pray for you. 82 00:03:03,950 --> 00:03:06,017 Oh. Okay. 83 00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:15,694 Nice setup, bro! 84 00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:17,862 Never occurred to me to bring lawn chairs out here. 85 00:03:17,898 --> 00:03:19,565 Yeah, well, it never occurred to the Egyptians 86 00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:21,233 to build the pyramids until it did. 87 00:03:21,235 --> 00:03:23,468 Huh. I never thought of it like that. 88 00:03:23,504 --> 00:03:24,602 Need a light? 89 00:03:24,604 --> 00:03:26,838 - I don't smoke. - Oh. 90 00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:28,707 Okay. 91 00:03:28,842 --> 00:03:31,243 You see, smokers on average take 38% more breaks 92 00:03:31,245 --> 00:03:32,810 than non-smokers, without repercussions. 93 00:03:32,846 --> 00:03:35,380 Wow, you really know how to make the most out of a break. 94 00:03:35,416 --> 00:03:37,415 That's just the tip of the iceberg, my friend. 95 00:03:37,484 --> 00:03:38,750 When it comes to taking breaks, 96 00:03:38,819 --> 00:03:42,520 it's all about quality and quantity. 97 00:03:42,522 --> 00:03:44,289 Teach me? 98 00:03:48,862 --> 00:03:50,528 You know, I usually break alone. 99 00:03:50,664 --> 00:03:52,397 But what would be an ascended master... 100 00:03:53,353 --> 00:03:54,900 ...without his disciple? 101 00:03:55,035 --> 00:03:56,668 Oh! 102 00:03:59,139 --> 00:04:00,539 Hmm! 103 00:04:02,276 --> 00:04:04,009 I can get used to this. 104 00:04:04,078 --> 00:04:06,077 You will. 105 00:04:13,220 --> 00:04:16,555 Alright, Hauser, you got this. 106 00:04:20,327 --> 00:04:21,559 Just like steak tartare... 107 00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:23,828 without the seasoning to make it palatable. 108 00:04:23,830 --> 00:04:25,230 Hmm... 109 00:04:25,365 --> 00:04:27,098 Oof... so gruesome. 110 00:04:29,303 --> 00:04:30,335 Mmm... 111 00:04:33,173 --> 00:04:35,040 Mm-hm! 112 00:04:35,175 --> 00:04:37,575 This is how champions are born! 113 00:04:40,180 --> 00:04:42,180 Mmm! 114 00:04:42,462 --> 00:04:44,249 Smells like 1954! 115 00:04:44,251 --> 00:04:46,184 No... 116 00:04:46,253 --> 00:04:47,318 It's '55. 117 00:04:47,354 --> 00:04:49,521 The signature's just inside there. 118 00:04:49,656 --> 00:04:50,955 Oh, yeah. 119 00:04:52,326 --> 00:04:55,794 We've got Radcliffe, Redman, Romijn, 120 00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:58,496 Romijn-Stamos... That's too far. 121 00:04:58,532 --> 00:05:02,200 Ah, yes, Rocket Richard. 122 00:05:02,236 --> 00:05:03,468 Okay, so... 123 00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:04,869 - See the curve on the R there? - Mm-hm. 124 00:05:04,938 --> 00:05:06,971 Okay, see the pressure on the tail of the D? 125 00:05:07,007 --> 00:05:09,608 - Yeah. - That is his authentic signature. 126 00:05:09,743 --> 00:05:12,177 Oh! 127 00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:13,411 Mm-hm. 128 00:05:14,581 --> 00:05:18,015 These skates are worth approximately $50,000! 129 00:05:18,152 --> 00:05:19,153 What?! 130 00:05:19,186 --> 00:05:20,985 $50,000? Are you kidding? 131 00:05:21,055 --> 00:05:23,822 No, sir, and that is a conservative estimate. 132 00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:27,024 It is my professional opinion that these are the exact skates 133 00:05:27,061 --> 00:05:28,926 the Rocket wore the night he punched a linesman, 134 00:05:28,962 --> 00:05:31,096 and as a result was suspended for the rest of the season 135 00:05:31,098 --> 00:05:33,631 and playoffs, causing the famed Richard riot. 136 00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:36,368 Oh! Simpler times. 137 00:05:36,370 --> 00:05:37,903 DJ! 138 00:05:37,905 --> 00:05:41,840 Oh, imagine what we could do with $50,000! 139 00:05:43,610 --> 00:05:44,876 That money's not ours. 140 00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:46,778 We gotta find the guy who brought these skates in. 141 00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:49,714 Ugh, I knew you would say that. 142 00:05:51,185 --> 00:05:52,751 Hmm. 143 00:05:52,820 --> 00:05:56,421 Oh, there is no record of the transaction in the system. 144 00:05:56,457 --> 00:05:58,590 Keeran, did you even punch this in? 145 00:05:58,725 --> 00:06:00,592 I thought I did. Maybe I didn't. 146 00:06:00,594 --> 00:06:02,761 I don't... I don't know! It was my first trade-in. 147 00:06:02,763 --> 00:06:04,996 You know, if we had security cameras, 148 00:06:05,132 --> 00:06:07,666 we at least could have taken a good look at the guy. 149 00:06:07,668 --> 00:06:10,135 You know how I feel about security cameras, Cynthia. 150 00:06:10,204 --> 00:06:13,672 - They breed distrust in... - Distrust in the community, I got it. 151 00:06:13,674 --> 00:06:15,941 Listen, there is no way we're gonna find 152 00:06:16,076 --> 00:06:18,075 the rightful owner of these skates. 153 00:06:18,112 --> 00:06:21,413 So... maybe we should just keep 'em for ourselves. 154 00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:23,548 Have I ever told you about the time 155 00:06:23,683 --> 00:06:26,384 I almost lost my faith in humanity? 156 00:06:26,420 --> 00:06:29,354 I was on a plane flying from Binghamton to Bakersfield. 157 00:06:29,423 --> 00:06:30,822 Cool! 158 00:06:30,858 --> 00:06:32,957 I wanted to sleep, so I took my hearing aids out, 159 00:06:32,993 --> 00:06:34,960 which renders me dead to the world. 160 00:06:34,962 --> 00:06:36,694 It requires a tremendous amount of trust 161 00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:38,096 in my fellow passengers. 162 00:06:38,165 --> 00:06:40,699 But when I awoke, that trust had been shattered... 163 00:06:40,701 --> 00:06:43,168 my cellphone and blueberry muffin were gone. 164 00:06:43,237 --> 00:06:44,870 What year was this? 165 00:06:45,005 --> 00:06:46,171 Uh, 2019. 166 00:06:46,173 --> 00:06:47,238 A $7 muffin. 167 00:06:47,373 --> 00:06:48,573 Oh my God! 168 00:06:48,609 --> 00:06:50,641 I stood up; I asked my fellow passengers 169 00:06:50,677 --> 00:06:52,043 if anyone had seen anything. 170 00:06:52,112 --> 00:06:55,247 I pleaded, but no one so much as looked me in the eye. 171 00:06:55,382 --> 00:06:58,250 In fact, someone outright told me to shut the fuck up. 172 00:06:58,285 --> 00:06:59,317 - Whoa. - Ugh! 173 00:06:59,386 --> 00:07:01,853 I thought I'd never trust again. 174 00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:03,588 But when I got off the plane, 175 00:07:03,723 --> 00:07:06,458 there was an elderly woman on the jetway 176 00:07:06,460 --> 00:07:08,727 with my muffin in her hand, 177 00:07:08,862 --> 00:07:10,912 waiting to return it to me. 178 00:07:13,066 --> 00:07:15,867 I've never eaten a muffin that tasted so good. 179 00:07:15,903 --> 00:07:18,036 So the old lady stole your muffin? 180 00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:22,607 You're missing the point, Cynth, which is she returned it. 181 00:07:22,676 --> 00:07:25,142 And from that day forward, I vowed to live my life 182 00:07:25,179 --> 00:07:28,679 with the same integrity as that sweet old lady on the jetway. 183 00:07:28,715 --> 00:07:31,483 Which is why we have to track down 184 00:07:31,485 --> 00:07:34,486 the rightful owner of these skates. 185 00:07:34,488 --> 00:07:37,755 Your sense of justice is refreshing in this day and age. 186 00:07:37,891 --> 00:07:39,891 - Thank you. - Yeah. 187 00:07:40,026 --> 00:07:41,359 - Let me get the door. - This one? 188 00:07:41,395 --> 00:07:43,829 Tempered glass, anodized frame; I peg it at $2,500. 189 00:07:47,560 --> 00:07:49,068 Okay, he might have had hair, 190 00:07:49,165 --> 00:07:50,970 but definitely presented as bald. 191 00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:54,673 He had a moustache, maybe a goatee... 192 00:07:54,675 --> 00:07:57,108 No, it was a fu manchu. 193 00:07:57,177 --> 00:07:59,644 Uh... he had big teeth. 194 00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:01,045 He was missing a few, 195 00:08:01,081 --> 00:08:03,081 but he still came off as toothy, you know? 196 00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:05,483 - Mm-hm. - Why is his description so hazy? 197 00:08:05,519 --> 00:08:08,186 It was his first trade-in. He was jacked up on adrenaline. 198 00:08:08,188 --> 00:08:10,322 We are never gonna find this guy, DJ. 199 00:08:10,457 --> 00:08:11,923 Why don't we just keep the skates? 200 00:08:11,959 --> 00:08:14,192 No, no, the rightful owner is out there somewhere 201 00:08:14,194 --> 00:08:16,728 and this sketch is gonna help us find him. 202 00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:18,996 That's the guy! That is the guy! 203 00:08:18,998 --> 00:08:20,265 That's Howie Mandel. 204 00:08:22,603 --> 00:08:24,769 I thought you were a sketch artist. 205 00:08:24,771 --> 00:08:26,505 No, ma'am, I'm a caricaturist. 206 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:28,206 - Ahh! - Ohh! 207 00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:32,344 Well, we obviously can't use this, but... 208 00:08:32,346 --> 00:08:33,678 Do me? 209 00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:37,815 Hey, what you making, beet smoothie? 210 00:08:37,885 --> 00:08:40,351 Close! Spleen smoothie! 211 00:08:40,387 --> 00:08:43,355 Are you gonna cut it with mango or something? 212 00:08:43,490 --> 00:08:47,158 Does the reigning champ cut it with mango or something? 213 00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:48,225 No, she does not. 214 00:08:48,262 --> 00:08:49,561 Are you saying that if I drank spleen, 215 00:08:49,630 --> 00:08:51,229 I could look like this? 216 00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:53,230 Christine says getting into peak physical shape 217 00:08:53,267 --> 00:08:55,166 is 50% training, 50% diet. 218 00:08:55,168 --> 00:08:57,335 So... I could get halfway to this? 219 00:08:57,337 --> 00:08:59,237 - 100%. - Holy shit. 220 00:08:59,306 --> 00:09:01,840 Even Shane Corkery's biceps aren't that big... 221 00:09:01,842 --> 00:09:03,507 and he's the captain of the wrestling team! 222 00:09:03,544 --> 00:09:06,111 I wouldn't be girlfriendless if I had a body like that... 223 00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:09,647 Keeran, welcome to the mean spleen dream team. 224 00:09:14,543 --> 00:09:15,920 Mmm. 225 00:09:15,923 --> 00:09:17,555 Mmm! 226 00:09:17,590 --> 00:09:18,590 Mm-mm! 227 00:09:20,027 --> 00:09:22,260 Please, please, have a seat here, have a seat. 228 00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:24,863 Hey, Samuel. Thanks so much for having me on. 229 00:09:24,998 --> 00:09:27,398 Please, uh, Samuel was my father's name. 230 00:09:27,434 --> 00:09:29,534 Call me, uh, Silky Samuel. 231 00:09:29,603 --> 00:09:31,336 Silky Samuel, anyone ever tell you 232 00:09:31,405 --> 00:09:33,738 that your off-air persona is nothing like your on-air? 233 00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:35,874 So good to be with you here 234 00:09:36,009 --> 00:09:38,276 on Silky Samuel in the late afternoon. 235 00:09:38,345 --> 00:09:41,413 We've got a sultry guest with us here today: 236 00:09:41,415 --> 00:09:46,318 DJ, the steamy manager of One More Time sports. 237 00:09:46,453 --> 00:09:50,488 Now, I understand that you're looking for a special man. 238 00:09:50,524 --> 00:09:52,023 I sure am. 239 00:09:52,159 --> 00:09:56,761 He's about 5'9 " to 6'3", bald but confident with it, uh, 240 00:09:56,797 --> 00:09:59,630 and facial hair, quite possibly even a soul patch. 241 00:09:59,666 --> 00:10:01,766 Ooh, a soul patch! 242 00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:03,300 Sounds stimulating. 243 00:10:03,337 --> 00:10:06,037 And, uh, what is it that you want to say to this man? 244 00:10:06,172 --> 00:10:08,039 You came by One More Time sports this morning 245 00:10:08,041 --> 00:10:10,642 and you traded in your old hockey skates. 246 00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:12,844 Those skates are worth a lot of money. 247 00:10:12,913 --> 00:10:16,514 I'm talking $50,000. 248 00:10:16,583 --> 00:10:17,982 So, come by One More Time 249 00:10:17,985 --> 00:10:19,383 and claim what's rightfully yours. 250 00:10:19,419 --> 00:10:22,453 Whoa-ho-ho, 50 k! 251 00:10:22,489 --> 00:10:25,456 That's right, you shmexy snacks, you heard it here first. 252 00:10:25,492 --> 00:10:29,861 There's gotta be someone in this town that fits that description. 253 00:10:29,863 --> 00:10:31,596 Does that look like the guy? 254 00:10:31,598 --> 00:10:33,665 - Yeah. - What about him? 255 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:36,334 - Oh, yeah. - And him? 256 00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:37,936 Without a doubt. 257 00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:39,537 Yeah, this isn't working. 258 00:10:41,875 --> 00:10:44,475 I got it! Let's make them try it on, 259 00:10:44,544 --> 00:10:45,877 Cinderella-style! 260 00:10:54,421 --> 00:10:55,687 Juice me. 261 00:10:55,756 --> 00:10:57,054 Man, you know, I didn't think we'd 262 00:10:57,090 --> 00:10:58,289 break better than yesterday, 263 00:10:58,325 --> 00:10:59,824 but you've really opened my eyes. 264 00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:01,826 I'm not teaching you how to open your eyes, kiddo. 265 00:11:01,895 --> 00:11:03,895 I'm teaching you how to close 'em. 266 00:11:03,897 --> 00:11:05,029 Whoa, so wise. 267 00:11:05,065 --> 00:11:07,432 Hey, what is goin' on down here? 268 00:11:07,567 --> 00:11:09,133 You guys breakin'? 269 00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:10,902 Bet your sweet ass we are. 270 00:11:10,904 --> 00:11:12,937 - Can I join? - Absolutely not. 271 00:11:12,939 --> 00:11:14,872 Come on, man! You have so much to offer. 272 00:11:14,941 --> 00:11:16,841 Well, I suppose the sun cannot withhold its light 273 00:11:16,910 --> 00:11:18,976 from those upon whom it shines. 274 00:11:18,978 --> 00:11:20,344 So is that a yes, or...? 275 00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:22,447 Yeah, yeah, he's saying you can join. 276 00:11:22,449 --> 00:11:26,250 Yo, Joe! Check out how these guys are breakin'! 277 00:11:26,319 --> 00:11:28,853 I hope you know what you're doing. 278 00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:32,423 Who the hell is Joe? 279 00:11:35,696 --> 00:11:36,828 Hey, Jen. 280 00:11:36,953 --> 00:11:37,958 Look at this. 281 00:11:37,964 --> 00:11:39,431 Any closer to Baywatch Zac Efron? 282 00:11:39,566 --> 00:11:40,664 He's on my swole vision board. 283 00:11:40,701 --> 00:11:42,199 Who else is on your board? 284 00:11:42,235 --> 00:11:44,536 Okay, I just have a poster of Zac Efron. 285 00:11:44,538 --> 00:11:46,070 Ah, give it time, sport! 286 00:11:46,073 --> 00:11:48,439 This is a marathon, not a sprint. 287 00:11:48,455 --> 00:11:49,460 Hah! 288 00:11:52,079 --> 00:11:54,612 Honestly, I don't know how much more time I can give it. 289 00:11:54,614 --> 00:11:55,713 I'm not feeling too hot. 290 00:11:55,748 --> 00:11:57,949 Really? I'm feeling tip-top. 291 00:11:58,018 --> 00:11:59,550 My pee is brown. 292 00:11:59,619 --> 00:12:02,420 That's just your gut's biome acclimating to the nutrients. 293 00:12:02,422 --> 00:12:03,488 Organ meat, eh! 294 00:12:03,490 --> 00:12:06,825 Uh, actually, you're kind of a weird colour. 295 00:12:06,827 --> 00:12:08,493 Like, I wanna say greyish. 296 00:12:08,628 --> 00:12:10,094 Greyish? No! 297 00:12:10,163 --> 00:12:14,031 I can literally feel the spleen powering me up from the inside. 298 00:12:14,101 --> 00:12:16,167 I'm stronger, faster, faster than a javelin. 299 00:12:16,203 --> 00:12:20,371 I am the javelin and no one will bring me dow... own... 300 00:12:21,775 --> 00:12:23,107 Jen? 301 00:12:23,110 --> 00:12:26,044 Oh, your pee is brown, too! 302 00:12:26,833 --> 00:12:28,046 Fits like a glove! 303 00:12:28,893 --> 00:12:30,181 Also fits me like a glove! 304 00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:31,816 As soon you two fellas finish, 305 00:12:31,818 --> 00:12:33,451 it's gonna fit me like a glove, too. 306 00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:35,486 Silky Samuel? 307 00:12:35,522 --> 00:12:38,122 No! 308 00:12:38,125 --> 00:12:42,393 DJ, what are we proving by having them try on the skates? 309 00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:44,595 We don't even know if that guy ever wore the skates, 310 00:12:44,631 --> 00:12:46,731 and even if he did, there's a lot of people 311 00:12:46,866 --> 00:12:48,333 with size 10 feet. 312 00:12:48,468 --> 00:12:50,267 My God, you're right. 313 00:12:50,303 --> 00:12:53,071 Cinderella was full of plot holes! 314 00:12:53,073 --> 00:12:56,140 Give me those. 315 00:12:56,176 --> 00:12:58,076 My fellow Korvertonians, 316 00:12:58,211 --> 00:13:00,812 these skates mean something to someone. 317 00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:02,580 Search inside your hearts 318 00:13:02,649 --> 00:13:06,017 and imagine someone claiming something precious of yours. 319 00:13:06,019 --> 00:13:08,886 I implore you, speak truthfully: 320 00:13:08,922 --> 00:13:12,557 Is anyone here the actual owner of these skates? 321 00:13:14,994 --> 00:13:16,694 Shame on you! 322 00:13:16,763 --> 00:13:19,564 Shame on all of you! 323 00:13:19,566 --> 00:13:21,499 Look at yourselves. 324 00:13:21,501 --> 00:13:26,303 Look... what... you've... be... come! 325 00:13:26,339 --> 00:13:28,439 Oh, I should not have shaved my head. 326 00:13:28,508 --> 00:13:29,607 Eh... 327 00:13:31,177 --> 00:13:33,278 This is almost as bad as the muffin incident. 328 00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:37,181 I hate to see you this stressed. 329 00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:41,719 How about I hang onto these skates for a while? 330 00:13:41,721 --> 00:13:45,456 Et tu, Cynthia? 331 00:13:45,525 --> 00:13:47,258 I can't trust anyone. 332 00:13:49,129 --> 00:13:51,462 The skates stay with me. 333 00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:53,731 Cynthia, Cynthia! 334 00:13:53,767 --> 00:13:56,868 Okay, Jen blacked out, but I put her head in ice. 335 00:13:57,003 --> 00:13:58,102 What? 336 00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:13,951 Hey, man, I've been waiting on a pomegranate-cherry 337 00:14:13,987 --> 00:14:15,219 for five minutes! 338 00:14:15,288 --> 00:14:17,421 I said it's coming right up. 339 00:14:17,490 --> 00:14:18,556 Here! 340 00:14:23,964 --> 00:14:27,031 Hey! Can you watch where you hacky, please? 341 00:14:27,067 --> 00:14:29,767 I don't smoke! 342 00:14:29,803 --> 00:14:31,035 Argh! 343 00:14:31,037 --> 00:14:32,437 Josh! 344 00:14:34,373 --> 00:14:35,739 Would you look at these clowns? 345 00:14:35,775 --> 00:14:36,807 I never thought I'd say this, 346 00:14:36,877 --> 00:14:38,175 but I need a break from the break. 347 00:14:38,311 --> 00:14:40,244 What? No, no, we can't quit. 348 00:14:40,313 --> 00:14:41,879 We worked too hard for this. 349 00:14:41,915 --> 00:14:43,715 Hey, we don't use that word out here. 350 00:14:43,850 --> 00:14:44,882 What, quit? 351 00:14:44,918 --> 00:14:47,185 No, work. 352 00:14:47,187 --> 00:14:48,986 Look, you're just bartending for free. 353 00:14:49,022 --> 00:14:50,755 I'm sitting over there in a pool with precum. 354 00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:52,089 It's over, Josh. 355 00:14:52,091 --> 00:14:54,292 We broke too close to the sun. 356 00:14:54,294 --> 00:14:57,462 - I'm sorry, man. - No, don't be. 357 00:14:57,597 --> 00:14:59,463 I got no regrets. 358 00:14:59,532 --> 00:15:01,466 It was good there for a minute, wasn't it? 359 00:15:01,601 --> 00:15:03,134 Nah... 360 00:15:03,136 --> 00:15:04,669 It was great. 361 00:15:06,273 --> 00:15:07,805 You know what we gotta do, right? 362 00:15:09,297 --> 00:15:10,341 Yeah. 363 00:15:38,171 --> 00:15:40,504 Move it! Get outta here! 364 00:15:40,540 --> 00:15:43,307 Hey, let's go back to work, huh? 365 00:15:43,376 --> 00:15:44,642 Yeah. 366 00:15:46,413 --> 00:15:48,112 And now I don't know who to trust. 367 00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:49,380 What's so special about them? 368 00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:51,950 Oh, they belonged to Maurice Richard. 369 00:15:52,085 --> 00:15:53,318 Legendary NHLer. 370 00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:55,252 Yeah, they're worth a lot of money. 371 00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:57,888 You wanna give 'em a whiff? They smell like greatness! 372 00:15:57,924 --> 00:15:59,056 Word to the wise, though: 373 00:15:59,092 --> 00:16:00,424 Greatness smells a lot like athlete's foot. 374 00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:01,926 Yeah, uh, tempting. Tempting... 375 00:16:02,061 --> 00:16:03,927 but I can't smell anything with my anosmia. 376 00:16:03,964 --> 00:16:06,097 - Your a-what-mia? - Anosmia. 377 00:16:06,166 --> 00:16:07,732 Can't smell a damn thing. 378 00:16:07,734 --> 00:16:09,266 - Anosmia, eh? - Mm-hm. 379 00:16:09,336 --> 00:16:11,135 I can't believe I didn't know this about you. 380 00:16:11,137 --> 00:16:12,970 It's not something I talk about very often. 381 00:16:13,105 --> 00:16:15,273 It's one of the least respected disabilities on the planet, 382 00:16:15,408 --> 00:16:17,107 in a tight race with ADD. 383 00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:19,043 Waiter? 384 00:16:19,045 --> 00:16:20,578 I gotta go. 385 00:16:20,645 --> 00:16:21,646 Smell you later. 386 00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:24,348 I hear what you did there! 387 00:16:26,519 --> 00:16:28,552 Guess you never found the guy. 388 00:16:28,588 --> 00:16:30,188 Hey, take a hike! 389 00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:33,591 Nope, just a community of phonies and fraudsters. 390 00:16:33,593 --> 00:16:35,059 You know, I meant what I said earlier. 391 00:16:35,061 --> 00:16:37,228 It is refreshing to see someone care about their fellow man. 392 00:16:37,297 --> 00:16:39,697 You would be surprised how much greed and deceit 393 00:16:39,832 --> 00:16:43,234 - is in my line of work. - Never expected to find it in mine. 394 00:16:43,303 --> 00:16:45,503 Great timepiece, BT-Dubs. What is that, 2004 Seiko? 395 00:16:45,638 --> 00:16:46,970 That's like 300 bucks right there. 396 00:16:47,007 --> 00:16:48,939 $40 at the thrift store. 397 00:16:48,975 --> 00:16:50,641 But you have an uncanny gift. 398 00:16:50,777 --> 00:16:53,044 You could make a killing on The Price is Right. 399 00:16:53,046 --> 00:16:56,647 Legally, I'm not allowed on that show. 400 00:16:56,683 --> 00:16:59,050 I'd love to appraise your bedroom. 401 00:16:59,052 --> 00:17:00,517 Oh, it's really nothing impressive. 402 00:17:00,553 --> 00:17:02,319 I've got a bed, a dresser, a gong... 403 00:17:02,389 --> 00:17:04,255 That's not what I meant. 404 00:17:05,658 --> 00:17:06,891 - Oh! - Yeah? 405 00:17:06,893 --> 00:17:07,925 Yeah! 406 00:17:08,061 --> 00:17:09,259 Let's do some appraising! 407 00:17:14,968 --> 00:17:16,467 Wanna take this inside? 408 00:17:16,503 --> 00:17:18,202 I'm just right there. 409 00:17:18,238 --> 00:17:19,403 I can't. 410 00:17:19,406 --> 00:17:20,838 I thought you wanted to... 411 00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:21,906 appraise my bedroom? 412 00:17:21,975 --> 00:17:24,408 Oh, I do, but I forgot that I have an audition 413 00:17:24,477 --> 00:17:25,742 for the Antiques Roadshow in the morning. 414 00:17:25,779 --> 00:17:27,878 I would not want my alarm to wake you. 415 00:17:27,914 --> 00:17:29,880 Oh, I take my hearing aids out to sleep. 416 00:17:29,949 --> 00:17:34,952 Unless your alarm is a jet engine, I'll be fine. 417 00:17:35,021 --> 00:17:37,555 Oh, I wish I could! 418 00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:38,889 I can't. 419 00:17:38,958 --> 00:17:40,625 Rain check? 420 00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:42,560 You got it. 421 00:17:42,695 --> 00:17:45,429 Ooh, 2022 Honda Civic sports edition. 422 00:17:45,498 --> 00:17:49,300 This could go anywhere from 31.5 to 36 k. 423 00:17:49,302 --> 00:17:50,968 Individual temperature knobs? You're a fancy boy! 424 00:17:51,104 --> 00:17:52,637 Damn, she's good. 425 00:17:54,395 --> 00:17:55,773 We're gonna run some tests 426 00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:58,576 to rule out any permanent organ damage. 427 00:17:58,645 --> 00:18:02,180 In a hilariously ironic twist, your spleen will be fine. 428 00:18:02,315 --> 00:18:03,648 Huh! That is hilarious. 429 00:18:03,783 --> 00:18:04,849 Rest up. 430 00:18:04,918 --> 00:18:07,985 There's some reading material on your side table. 431 00:18:08,054 --> 00:18:09,186 Thank you, doctor. 432 00:18:09,255 --> 00:18:10,921 Ooh... 433 00:18:10,957 --> 00:18:13,858 Nothing but spleen? 434 00:18:13,860 --> 00:18:15,059 My God. 435 00:18:21,701 --> 00:18:24,235 Wait... Spleen Queen disqualified? 436 00:18:24,237 --> 00:18:25,603 Pee screen unclean? 437 00:18:25,672 --> 00:18:28,939 Lavigne seen fleeing from team? 438 00:18:28,975 --> 00:18:30,407 If she's out, then... 439 00:18:37,050 --> 00:18:39,149 Hello? 440 00:18:39,185 --> 00:18:41,486 Mm-hm, this is she. 441 00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:44,087 Yes. Yes, I understand. 442 00:18:44,124 --> 00:18:45,423 Yes, thank you. 443 00:18:48,595 --> 00:18:49,627 I'm in. 444 00:18:51,364 --> 00:18:53,363 I'm going to the Olympics. 445 00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:57,501 I'm going to the Olympics! 446 00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:01,005 Hey, you're up! 447 00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:02,306 Guess what? 448 00:19:02,308 --> 00:19:04,442 A girl in the waiting room said I looked sick. 449 00:19:04,444 --> 00:19:06,010 I think this stuff's working, you know? 450 00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:07,678 No, don't! 451 00:19:11,384 --> 00:19:13,116 I'm gonna be an Olympian. 452 00:19:13,153 --> 00:19:14,651 I'm going to be... 453 00:19:14,687 --> 00:19:16,387 a tiger! 454 00:19:20,393 --> 00:19:21,926 Doctor! 455 00:19:40,279 --> 00:19:42,279 Ow... 456 00:19:42,348 --> 00:19:44,481 Ow! 457 00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:49,954 Oof! 458 00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:57,662 Gah! Hey. 459 00:19:57,797 --> 00:19:59,096 Hey! 460 00:19:59,098 --> 00:20:00,164 Alright, well... 461 00:20:01,434 --> 00:20:03,167 Yoink! 462 00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:10,941 Galvanized steel? That's a quality fire escape! 463 00:20:14,113 --> 00:20:15,312 Nailed it. 464 00:20:15,381 --> 00:20:16,480 Hey, Keeran! 465 00:20:16,515 --> 00:20:18,315 - Yeah, boss? - Feeling better, champ? 466 00:20:18,351 --> 00:20:20,051 Oh, much better since the stomach pump. 467 00:20:20,186 --> 00:20:21,918 Oh, terrific. 468 00:20:21,955 --> 00:20:23,788 - Uh, where are the skates? - Oh, great news. 469 00:20:23,790 --> 00:20:25,589 - I found the guy. - Oh, you did? 470 00:20:25,658 --> 00:20:26,890 - Yeah. - What did he look like? 471 00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:30,127 Oh, just like you said: Bald, facial hair... 472 00:20:30,163 --> 00:20:32,462 - Toothy, right? - So toothy, yeah! 473 00:20:32,498 --> 00:20:35,633 Even with the missing teeth. 474 00:20:35,635 --> 00:20:38,135 Hey, we never could have found the guy without your keen eye, 475 00:20:38,137 --> 00:20:40,404 so you really came through for the store, champ. 476 00:20:40,406 --> 00:20:41,638 Thanks, boss. 477 00:20:44,077 --> 00:20:46,543 I saw you with the appraiser last night. 478 00:20:46,545 --> 00:20:48,712 Did ya? Nice, nice woman. Talented. 479 00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:51,349 Mind if I take a stab at what really happened? 480 00:20:51,351 --> 00:20:53,317 Be my guest. 481 00:20:53,386 --> 00:20:55,686 You took her home, bedded her, fell asleep, 482 00:20:55,722 --> 00:20:58,889 and then she stole the skates and vanished into the night. 483 00:20:58,891 --> 00:21:00,391 What?! 484 00:21:00,393 --> 00:21:01,625 No... 485 00:21:04,230 --> 00:21:05,429 I didn't bed her. 486 00:21:05,431 --> 00:21:07,698 Hmph! 487 00:21:36,140 --> 00:21:38,138 - synced and corrected by sot26 - www.MY-SUBS.com 34266

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