All language subtitles for One More Time - 01x05 - Brittle by Brittle.BAE.English.C.orig.Addic7ed.com

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,816 --> 00:00:03,769 Goddamn! 2 00:00:03,771 --> 00:00:04,836 You made this? 3 00:00:04,905 --> 00:00:06,171 I know what you're thinking: 4 00:00:06,306 --> 00:00:09,174 You didn't know people under 85 were allowed to make brittle. 5 00:00:09,309 --> 00:00:10,809 - Are they? - They just legalized it. 6 00:00:10,878 --> 00:00:13,379 Well, I'm glad it's no longer an ageist art form, 7 00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:15,881 although I do fear you young punks will ruin it. 8 00:00:15,950 --> 00:00:18,450 Is it tough making brittle without your sense of smell? 9 00:00:18,452 --> 00:00:21,052 Not really, but it did get in the way of me 10 00:00:21,088 --> 00:00:22,221 becoming a truffle pig. 11 00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:24,156 Well, you're an unbelievable brittlist... 12 00:00:24,291 --> 00:00:26,257 brittler... brittelier? 13 00:00:26,259 --> 00:00:27,726 I prefer "boss-ass brittle bitch." 14 00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:29,127 Okay. 15 00:00:29,163 --> 00:00:32,197 But people can call me whatever they want as long as I sell out. 16 00:00:32,332 --> 00:00:33,665 These wedding bills are piling up. 17 00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:36,335 Well, I'll be sure to send the staff over to buy 18 00:00:36,470 --> 00:00:38,303 some of this boss-ass brittle, bitch! 19 00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:40,606 What'd you just say? 20 00:00:40,741 --> 00:00:42,740 I just said it 'cause you said it. 21 00:00:42,777 --> 00:00:44,876 - I would never... - Just kidding! 22 00:00:44,945 --> 00:00:47,178 Hey, I've actually been meaning to ask you, 23 00:00:47,214 --> 00:00:48,680 do you have any skis in stock? 24 00:00:48,749 --> 00:00:51,016 Not this time of year, but we should be getting some 25 00:00:51,151 --> 00:00:52,418 in the next couple weeks, 26 00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:54,319 so I'll keep my ear to the ground. 27 00:00:54,321 --> 00:00:55,888 Mind keeping an eye to the ground instead? 28 00:00:55,890 --> 00:00:57,823 Might yield better results. 29 00:00:57,892 --> 00:01:00,158 The fuck you just say? 30 00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:01,193 I'm just kidding! 31 00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:03,428 And hey, the only way to fail is to quit, 32 00:01:03,497 --> 00:01:05,697 so don't give up on those truffle pig dreams, okay? 33 00:01:08,502 --> 00:01:10,835 Can't forget my boss-ass brittle... 34 00:01:10,871 --> 00:01:12,437 Not gonna say it. 35 00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:15,774 - synced and corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com 36 00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:17,042 97... 37 00:01:17,683 --> 00:01:18,844 98... 38 00:01:18,913 --> 00:01:21,013 Yup! 99... 39 00:01:21,148 --> 00:01:23,081 Damn... 100! 40 00:01:23,150 --> 00:01:24,383 Oh! 41 00:01:24,518 --> 00:01:26,118 You're gonna crush those Olympics! 42 00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:28,853 From your lips to my right arm's ears. 43 00:01:30,558 --> 00:01:32,223 Whoa, that was pretty dope. 44 00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:34,259 I would say it was prodigious. 45 00:01:34,328 --> 00:01:35,627 Is that so? 46 00:01:35,696 --> 00:01:38,330 It means impressively great in extent, size, or degree. 47 00:01:38,465 --> 00:01:41,466 - Yeah, I knew that. - I don't believe you did. 48 00:01:41,469 --> 00:01:43,335 What an arrogant ass. 49 00:01:43,337 --> 00:01:47,072 Even when he says hello, it sounds like an insult. 50 00:01:47,074 --> 00:01:48,840 That's a gift. 51 00:01:48,843 --> 00:01:50,509 Sorry, man, no can do. 52 00:01:50,644 --> 00:01:53,578 We don't really unload garages full of random shit. 53 00:01:53,713 --> 00:01:56,014 Uh, just gimme a second. Hey, whoa... 54 00:01:56,150 --> 00:01:57,482 Hey, Jimmy, you there? 55 00:01:57,617 --> 00:02:00,051 Sorry, let me just switch my hearing aids over. 56 00:02:00,121 --> 00:02:02,521 Okay. Hey, sorry about that trainee. 57 00:02:02,523 --> 00:02:05,624 Did I hear you say that, uh, you're unloading your garage? 58 00:02:05,693 --> 00:02:07,626 You happen to have any skis in there? 59 00:02:07,761 --> 00:02:10,529 Amazing. Lemme just grab your address. 60 00:02:10,598 --> 00:02:12,898 Okay, I will swing by ASAP. 61 00:02:12,967 --> 00:02:14,166 No, thank you! 62 00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:15,767 Alright, see ya, Jimbo. 63 00:02:15,903 --> 00:02:17,169 We do pickups now, boss? 64 00:02:17,171 --> 00:02:19,905 Uh, not usually, bud, but we do always go the extra mile 65 00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:21,106 for our customers. 66 00:02:21,241 --> 00:02:24,309 Hey, did I hear you say, "garage full of random shit"? 67 00:02:24,311 --> 00:02:27,312 Uh, yeah, but that's what he called it! 68 00:02:27,314 --> 00:02:29,047 Keeran, I need you to think of yourself 69 00:02:29,183 --> 00:02:31,383 as a brand ambassador for OMT, okay? 70 00:02:31,452 --> 00:02:33,451 So how you speak to the customers needs to reflect 71 00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:35,720 the ethos of that brand. You got it? 72 00:02:35,756 --> 00:02:38,123 Ethos is that new souvlaki place downtown, right? 73 00:02:38,192 --> 00:02:39,925 Yeah, they make their baklava in-house. 74 00:02:39,927 --> 00:02:41,026 It's unreal. 75 00:02:41,028 --> 00:02:42,261 Even the falafel is great. 76 00:02:42,263 --> 00:02:43,929 Not too dry. It's authentic stuff. 77 00:02:44,064 --> 00:02:45,097 Cool. 78 00:02:45,132 --> 00:02:47,466 But what I'm saying is, you need to be polite 79 00:02:47,468 --> 00:02:50,302 and professional on the phone at all times. 80 00:02:50,437 --> 00:02:51,869 This is important, okay? 81 00:02:51,906 --> 00:02:53,906 I'm so sorry. Please don't fire me. 82 00:02:54,041 --> 00:02:55,273 I'll do better on the phones! 83 00:02:55,309 --> 00:02:57,075 I never wanna let my work dad down. 84 00:02:57,077 --> 00:02:58,310 Relax, you're not fired, bud. 85 00:02:58,312 --> 00:03:00,111 And please don't call me your work dad. 86 00:03:00,147 --> 00:03:01,480 It's unsettling. 87 00:03:01,482 --> 00:03:04,082 It won't happen again, work father. 88 00:03:04,151 --> 00:03:05,350 Okay. 89 00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:07,886 - I just don't know. - It's a big decision. 90 00:03:07,888 --> 00:03:10,155 But you know who swears by this glove? 91 00:03:10,290 --> 00:03:11,890 Mike Trout. 92 00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:16,294 One of the most prodigious players to ever play the game! 93 00:03:16,296 --> 00:03:19,964 Well, how can I say no to the most prodigious player? 94 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:22,601 I'll take three. 95 00:03:22,736 --> 00:03:26,904 I'll meet you over at the cash when you're ready. 96 00:03:26,941 --> 00:03:29,841 - What the hell was that? - What was... what? 97 00:03:29,877 --> 00:03:31,243 You stole my word. 98 00:03:31,245 --> 00:03:32,911 You said "prodigious." It's my word. 99 00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,279 My bad. 100 00:03:34,348 --> 00:03:37,115 I didn't know there were rules on who could use fancy words. 101 00:03:37,117 --> 00:03:38,483 There's a plethora of rules, 102 00:03:38,619 --> 00:03:39,985 because the word maketh the man, 103 00:03:40,054 --> 00:03:42,120 and when the rules are broken, it makes me lugubrious. 104 00:03:42,122 --> 00:03:44,122 Oh, if that means phlegmy, stay away from me! 105 00:03:44,258 --> 00:03:45,857 My coach will kill me if I get sick. 106 00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:47,259 It's not illness-related, you prat. 107 00:03:47,261 --> 00:03:49,727 Patty's got a soccer tourney this weekend and I'm driving. 108 00:03:49,763 --> 00:03:51,529 Really can't afford to get whatever it is 109 00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:52,565 you're riddled with. 110 00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:54,266 Lugubrious means sad, okay? 111 00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:55,968 - It makes me sad. - Oh. 112 00:03:56,103 --> 00:04:00,806 Well, I don't wanna make you lugu... sad. 113 00:04:00,941 --> 00:04:02,373 Won't happen again. 114 00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:03,875 Thank you. 115 00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:10,549 You're saying you want a job here at OMT? 116 00:04:10,684 --> 00:04:13,418 Look, this is the last place that I ever saw myself, 117 00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:15,153 but my life is in peril, so... 118 00:04:15,288 --> 00:04:16,621 Well, what's going on? 119 00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:18,623 It's like you follow one car home 120 00:04:18,626 --> 00:04:20,091 after that car cuts you off, 121 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:22,027 and then chauffeur just shuts down your account? 122 00:04:22,096 --> 00:04:23,228 I mean... hah! 123 00:04:23,297 --> 00:04:25,297 It's like apparently "illegal" to follow people home. 124 00:04:25,299 --> 00:04:26,598 - I don't know. - It is. 125 00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:28,900 It's total corporate-profit- over-people horse shit. 126 00:04:29,036 --> 00:04:31,370 Do you have any retail experience? 127 00:04:31,505 --> 00:04:33,305 - No, nada. - Okay. 128 00:04:33,307 --> 00:04:35,606 Um, what are your strengths? 129 00:04:35,608 --> 00:04:38,176 I would say my greatest strength is that 130 00:04:38,245 --> 00:04:41,379 I respect you too much to give you a bullshit answer 131 00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:45,350 to a cliché interview question like that. 132 00:04:45,486 --> 00:04:46,985 - Thank you? - You're welcome! 133 00:04:46,987 --> 00:04:48,653 Oh, uh, and I would love 134 00:04:48,722 --> 00:04:51,156 if I could have staggering shifts from DJ. 135 00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:53,859 We, uh, tried to co-run a lemonade stand together 136 00:04:53,994 --> 00:04:58,063 when we were kids and his nose got broken. 137 00:04:58,065 --> 00:04:59,397 Allegedly. 138 00:04:59,466 --> 00:05:01,132 I see. 139 00:05:01,168 --> 00:05:04,269 I'm sorry, Nat, I just don't have the budget 140 00:05:04,404 --> 00:05:05,937 to hire anybody right now. 141 00:05:06,006 --> 00:05:09,040 But, Cynthia, you are a mastermind. 142 00:05:09,043 --> 00:05:11,543 What do you say you just lean in and... 143 00:05:11,612 --> 00:05:13,078 You could figure something out! 144 00:05:13,147 --> 00:05:14,546 Heh! 145 00:05:14,548 --> 00:05:16,547 Flattery will get you everywhere. 146 00:05:16,583 --> 00:05:19,217 You're so funny, you! 147 00:05:19,286 --> 00:05:20,852 - Oh, sorry. Not here. - What? 148 00:05:20,888 --> 00:05:23,088 No, no. Sorry, Nat, it's impossible. 149 00:05:23,873 --> 00:05:25,510 - Really? - Impossible. 150 00:05:25,559 --> 00:05:26,958 That sucks! 151 00:05:27,027 --> 00:05:28,293 Oh my God... 152 00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,634 Whoa, Jimmy, this is a gold mine! 153 00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:37,034 Take whatever you want. 154 00:05:37,071 --> 00:05:39,771 I'm moving to Florida, and my soon-to-be ex-wife says 155 00:05:39,807 --> 00:05:42,841 anything I don't take with me, she's gonna burn to the ground. 156 00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:44,376 Brutal! What'd you do? 157 00:05:44,445 --> 00:05:46,712 Heh. I'd rather not say. 158 00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:48,046 We respect your privacy. 159 00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:50,915 So, uh, lock up when you're done! 160 00:05:50,951 --> 00:05:53,051 Sounds good, Jimmy. Thanks for thinking of OMT. 161 00:05:54,655 --> 00:05:56,187 Anyway, I can't thank you enough 162 00:05:56,223 --> 00:05:57,522 for letting me have first dibs. 163 00:05:57,558 --> 00:05:59,658 Oh, by the way, I have work in an hour. 164 00:05:59,793 --> 00:06:01,192 Do you think that's doable? 165 00:06:01,228 --> 00:06:02,527 Pssht... 166 00:06:02,563 --> 00:06:04,262 Are you kidding me? 167 00:06:04,264 --> 00:06:06,664 If these trends continue, we'll be out of here in 5 minutes 168 00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:08,266 with 55 minutes to spare. 169 00:06:08,402 --> 00:06:11,269 Hell, we might even have time for Ethos on the way home. 170 00:06:11,305 --> 00:06:12,671 We'd be fools not to go. 171 00:06:16,176 --> 00:06:17,509 Whoa! 172 00:06:17,578 --> 00:06:18,676 Are you okay? 173 00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:20,245 Yeah... You? 174 00:06:20,314 --> 00:06:22,280 Yeah, I'm good. 175 00:06:27,287 --> 00:06:28,487 But I can't get this open. 176 00:06:28,622 --> 00:06:30,288 Uh... 177 00:06:32,891 --> 00:06:34,492 Okay, well, this door's locked, too. 178 00:06:34,528 --> 00:06:36,027 What kind of lock is it? 179 00:06:36,163 --> 00:06:38,329 What kind of lock would bring you hope? 180 00:06:38,365 --> 00:06:40,131 - None of 'em, I guess. - Hmm. 181 00:06:40,167 --> 00:06:42,467 Don't worry, we'll still get you to work on time 182 00:06:42,469 --> 00:06:44,269 with a belly full of Ethos, no less. 183 00:06:44,338 --> 00:06:45,470 Okay... 184 00:06:48,341 --> 00:06:49,373 Oh... 185 00:06:51,245 --> 00:06:53,512 We might have to skip Ethos. 186 00:07:02,890 --> 00:07:04,389 Yeah, we are definitely trapped. 187 00:07:04,524 --> 00:07:05,557 We should probably call someone. 188 00:07:05,626 --> 00:07:07,325 Great idea. 189 00:07:07,327 --> 00:07:08,593 My phone's in the car. 190 00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:10,462 Uh, mine's at 1%. 191 00:07:10,531 --> 00:07:11,663 Dude, seriously? 192 00:07:11,732 --> 00:07:13,130 I was gonna charge it in the car, 193 00:07:13,167 --> 00:07:14,966 but you were using the cord, so... 194 00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:16,267 That was very nice of you. 195 00:07:16,403 --> 00:07:17,702 I'm no hero. 196 00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:20,138 But we probably only have one call. Two if we keep it brief. 197 00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:21,873 I don't have Jimmy's number, though. 198 00:07:21,909 --> 00:07:24,209 I'll call OMT. They can give us Jimmy's number. 199 00:07:24,211 --> 00:07:26,477 - Love it. Let's do it! - Okay, here we go. 200 00:07:27,614 --> 00:07:29,080 Bluetooth, right in the hearing aids. 201 00:07:29,082 --> 00:07:31,082 - Ah. - Amazing technology. 202 00:07:31,151 --> 00:07:32,951 Thank you for calling One More Time. 203 00:07:33,020 --> 00:07:35,487 My name is Keeran, and I'm here to go above and beyond 204 00:07:35,556 --> 00:07:37,022 to help you with all your sporting needs, 205 00:07:37,157 --> 00:07:39,023 from hockey to baseball, from tennis to racquetball, 206 00:07:39,059 --> 00:07:40,424 from fishing to lacrosse, from basketball... 207 00:07:40,461 --> 00:07:41,759 Hey, Keeran, it's DJ. 208 00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:43,895 Uh, I appreciate the professionalism, bud, 209 00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:46,031 but, uh, I'm in a bit of a rush here. 210 00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:48,566 Also, "from tennis to racquetball" isn't that big of a spread. 211 00:07:48,702 --> 00:07:51,035 Okay, I can sense you're upset, but OMT is here to help. 212 00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:52,504 How can I help? I'm Keeran. 213 00:07:52,506 --> 00:07:53,705 You already gave your name, bud. 214 00:07:53,774 --> 00:07:55,941 Uh, listen, I'm in a bit of a rush here. 215 00:07:55,943 --> 00:07:57,909 I'm stuck in, uh, Jimmy's garage with Gwen. 216 00:07:58,044 --> 00:08:00,411 Oh, tell Gwen I've been downing her brittle all morning. 217 00:08:00,447 --> 00:08:01,580 It's the best! 218 00:08:01,715 --> 00:08:03,114 - He says he loves your brittle. - Thanks, Keeran. 219 00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:04,716 Ask her how she makes it. 220 00:08:04,851 --> 00:08:06,183 How do you... he wants to... Keeran! 221 00:08:06,220 --> 00:08:07,919 We don't have time for this, buddy, okay? 222 00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:09,988 Listen, I need you to look up Jimmy's number 223 00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:11,189 as quick as you can, okay? 224 00:08:11,258 --> 00:08:12,657 I see what you're doing. 225 00:08:12,792 --> 00:08:14,659 I'm afraid I can't give out any phone numbers 226 00:08:14,794 --> 00:08:15,860 under any circumstance. 227 00:08:15,863 --> 00:08:17,863 Keeran, my phone's at 1%. Please, quick! 228 00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:19,397 Why don't you just charge it, then? 229 00:08:19,466 --> 00:08:20,732 Keeran! 230 00:08:20,801 --> 00:08:23,001 Okay, let me just figure out how to put you on hold 231 00:08:23,136 --> 00:08:24,536 - and then I'll get a... - Keeran? 232 00:08:24,571 --> 00:08:25,603 Did your phone die? 233 00:08:25,639 --> 00:08:27,471 No, I think he hung up. I got him. 234 00:08:27,508 --> 00:08:29,707 I'm calling him back here. 235 00:08:29,743 --> 00:08:30,841 Hello. 236 00:08:30,843 --> 00:08:31,876 Thank you for calling OMT. 237 00:08:31,945 --> 00:08:33,612 I'm Keeran. I'm a part-time sales associate... 238 00:08:33,614 --> 00:08:34,880 Hey, Keeran, it's DJ. 239 00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:37,481 Oh. Hey, DJ. I got the number. 240 00:08:37,518 --> 00:08:39,017 Great. What is it? 241 00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:40,652 - It's 519... - 519... 242 00:08:40,787 --> 00:08:42,653 628... 243 00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:44,422 Shit... 244 00:08:44,458 --> 00:08:46,091 - It died. - No! 245 00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:48,059 Well, there's gotta be a charger in here somewhere. 246 00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:50,361 Heh... for a flip phone, maybe! 247 00:08:50,397 --> 00:08:51,630 Well, let's look. 248 00:08:51,632 --> 00:08:53,831 Worst-case scenario, maybe we find the other ski, too. 249 00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:55,567 Yes, let's find those skis for Eddie. 250 00:08:55,636 --> 00:08:57,001 Good distraction. 251 00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:58,637 The... skis are for Eddie? 252 00:08:58,772 --> 00:09:00,004 Yeah, his birthday's coming up 253 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:02,406 - and I wanted to surprise him. - Oh...! 254 00:09:02,442 --> 00:09:05,176 Aw, how cool is that, that we're here for Eddie? 255 00:09:05,312 --> 00:09:08,113 Yeah! But I really appreciate you helping me with this. 256 00:09:08,115 --> 00:09:10,114 Of course. 257 00:09:15,122 --> 00:09:17,889 Oh! Hey, Cynth! What's up? 258 00:09:18,024 --> 00:09:20,926 My word, what are you doing in there? 259 00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:24,729 Oh, man, you would not believe how much these businesses waste. 260 00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:27,065 I mean, look at this. 261 00:09:27,134 --> 00:09:29,801 It's like a veritable smorgasbord in here. 262 00:09:29,870 --> 00:09:32,136 So... you're dumpster diving? 263 00:09:32,172 --> 00:09:34,139 No! No, no, I prefer to think of it as 264 00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:38,276 thriving off the waste of the wealthy fat cats. 265 00:09:39,322 --> 00:09:40,879 But yeah, yeah, I'm dumpster diving. 266 00:09:40,881 --> 00:09:42,146 Do you, uh... roll? 267 00:09:42,282 --> 00:09:45,483 Oh! Um, thank you. I am... 268 00:09:45,485 --> 00:09:47,152 - I'm off bread. - Got you. 269 00:09:47,154 --> 00:09:49,420 Is your brother aware of this? 270 00:09:49,456 --> 00:09:51,889 Uh... No. I don't need his help. 271 00:09:51,891 --> 00:09:53,024 I am an independent woman. 272 00:09:53,026 --> 00:09:56,628 Oh, God, that takes me back to '99. 273 00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:58,697 I was on the lam in Guadalajara 274 00:09:58,832 --> 00:10:01,366 and had to steal tacos off of restaurant tables 275 00:10:01,435 --> 00:10:02,967 just to stay alive! 276 00:10:02,970 --> 00:10:05,570 And I thought Y2K was gonna wipe my record clean. 277 00:10:05,639 --> 00:10:07,872 But when that turned out to be a sham, 278 00:10:07,874 --> 00:10:10,108 I had to get resourceful too. 279 00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:11,275 So... 280 00:10:11,311 --> 00:10:13,310 stripping? 281 00:10:13,347 --> 00:10:15,647 Yeah, yeah. Sure, let's go with that. 282 00:10:15,649 --> 00:10:16,914 Cool. 283 00:10:16,984 --> 00:10:19,651 Well, uh, I gotta go check out the Ethos dumpster 284 00:10:19,653 --> 00:10:22,520 before the sun does too much damage to the souvlaki. 285 00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:24,556 So... 286 00:10:25,428 --> 00:10:27,592 Nat? 287 00:10:27,727 --> 00:10:32,263 God does grant me the courage to change the things that I can. 288 00:10:32,297 --> 00:10:33,298 - Uh... - You know what? 289 00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:35,000 I'm gonna go back in 290 00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:37,135 and I'm gonna look at those numbers again 291 00:10:37,204 --> 00:10:38,803 and I'm gonna get you a job. 292 00:10:38,839 --> 00:10:40,071 No way. 293 00:10:40,107 --> 00:10:42,307 That is sick! That's radical! 294 00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:44,442 - I totally believe in you! - Ah! 295 00:10:44,478 --> 00:10:46,077 If you wanna, if you wanna hang later, 296 00:10:46,212 --> 00:10:47,278 we can grab dins maybe. 297 00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:49,947 Oh, I'm goo... Blech! 298 00:10:51,118 --> 00:10:52,950 Stuck in here 'cause of Eddie... 299 00:10:53,020 --> 00:10:54,352 Find anything? 300 00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:55,553 Uh, no. 301 00:10:55,555 --> 00:10:58,957 I mean, just these devil sticks, Hamlet costume, 302 00:10:58,959 --> 00:11:00,959 and this zebra telephone. 303 00:11:01,094 --> 00:11:02,761 Hello? Yeah, no one there. 304 00:11:02,763 --> 00:11:04,495 Still trapped. You? 305 00:11:04,631 --> 00:11:06,831 Just whatever the hell this is. 306 00:11:06,867 --> 00:11:08,800 No way... I know exactly what this is! 307 00:11:08,802 --> 00:11:09,968 Yeah? 308 00:11:10,103 --> 00:11:12,203 My mom used to have one of these in the basement. 309 00:11:12,239 --> 00:11:14,405 It was called the Blubberbuster 2000. 310 00:11:17,077 --> 00:11:18,977 Women were definitely climaxing to this, right? 311 00:11:19,112 --> 00:11:20,779 Oh, yeah. Not my mom, though. 312 00:11:20,914 --> 00:11:22,447 Not that I don't want my mom to climax. 313 00:11:22,582 --> 00:11:24,282 That's very... thoughtful. 314 00:11:24,284 --> 00:11:26,584 - It's all yours if you want it. - Oh, no. 315 00:11:26,620 --> 00:11:29,220 My basement's already teeming with brittle things. 316 00:11:29,256 --> 00:11:31,055 You're a real brittle head, huh? 317 00:11:31,124 --> 00:11:33,391 I used to dream about opening my own shop. 318 00:11:33,393 --> 00:11:34,492 Yeah? 319 00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:37,028 I would call it "Brittle House on the Prairie." 320 00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:38,196 It's ridiculous, I know. 321 00:11:38,265 --> 00:11:40,064 You need to open this shop immediately. 322 00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:42,299 Uh, no! It takes money and it's risky, 323 00:11:42,335 --> 00:11:44,836 and I haven't even told Eddie yet. 324 00:11:44,905 --> 00:11:46,204 How does Eddie not know about BHOP? 325 00:11:46,273 --> 00:11:47,739 Because it's never gonna happen! 326 00:11:47,808 --> 00:11:50,474 Because who's ever heard of a successful brittle store? 327 00:11:50,476 --> 00:11:52,877 I once saw a hugely successful store 328 00:11:52,946 --> 00:11:55,480 that sold nothing but penis-shaped doughnuts. 329 00:11:56,140 --> 00:11:57,181 If that kid can make 330 00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:59,551 their perverted pastry dreams come true, 331 00:11:59,553 --> 00:12:00,885 so can you. 332 00:12:00,921 --> 00:12:02,687 Thanks, DJ. 333 00:12:02,756 --> 00:12:04,088 You're a good friend. 334 00:12:05,792 --> 00:12:06,891 Hit me! 335 00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:12,563 Ahh! 336 00:12:12,699 --> 00:12:14,566 197... 337 00:12:14,568 --> 00:12:15,633 198... 338 00:12:16,387 --> 00:12:18,369 199, yup! 339 00:12:18,371 --> 00:12:19,570 200! 340 00:12:20,711 --> 00:12:21,139 Did it! 341 00:12:21,174 --> 00:12:22,707 - Oh! - Oh-ho-ho! 342 00:12:22,842 --> 00:12:24,242 Hoo! Hoo! 343 00:12:24,311 --> 00:12:28,513 If you don't come home with at least six gold medals, 344 00:12:28,515 --> 00:12:31,582 it'll be a real lugubrious state of affairs. 345 00:12:31,618 --> 00:12:33,851 Ah, there's only one medal available, but, uh, 346 00:12:33,887 --> 00:12:34,919 I appreciate your support, buddy. 347 00:12:34,988 --> 00:12:36,654 Look, I'm trying to be equitable here, man, 348 00:12:36,656 --> 00:12:37,889 but you just did it again. 349 00:12:37,891 --> 00:12:38,956 Did... what? 350 00:12:39,025 --> 00:12:41,192 Used my word, "lugubrious." Mine. 351 00:12:41,194 --> 00:12:43,194 We talked about this. What is this, adrenal fatigue? 352 00:12:43,329 --> 00:12:44,896 - What? - I didn't even notice. 353 00:12:44,965 --> 00:12:46,564 Oh, you just happened to use the phrase 354 00:12:46,566 --> 00:12:47,598 "lugubrious state of affairs"? 355 00:12:47,667 --> 00:12:48,867 That's just normal layman speak for you? 356 00:12:49,002 --> 00:12:50,034 I swear. 357 00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:51,902 And I'm for real sorry, man. 358 00:12:53,340 --> 00:12:55,607 I put a ton of effort into these words, 359 00:12:55,609 --> 00:12:56,941 upgrading my lexicon daily, 360 00:12:56,977 --> 00:12:58,610 and they're not available for any plebeian 361 00:12:58,745 --> 00:13:00,144 to just haphazardly purloin. 362 00:13:00,180 --> 00:13:02,013 When it comes to learning sophisticated terminology, 363 00:13:02,082 --> 00:13:03,147 I'm indefatigable. 364 00:13:03,183 --> 00:13:04,515 Don't do it again! 365 00:13:06,987 --> 00:13:08,686 Are you messing with him? 366 00:13:08,722 --> 00:13:10,622 Just 100%! 367 00:13:10,757 --> 00:13:11,923 Wow! 368 00:13:11,925 --> 00:13:13,624 I think you like confrontation. 369 00:13:13,660 --> 00:13:15,759 It's not confrontation, 370 00:13:15,796 --> 00:13:17,595 it's confrontainment! 371 00:13:19,399 --> 00:13:21,632 So... 372 00:13:21,668 --> 00:13:23,634 What's your ridiculous dream? 373 00:13:23,703 --> 00:13:26,471 I wanted to be a pro hockey player and I did it. 374 00:13:26,606 --> 00:13:29,440 I didn't make the NHL, but it was still a pretty sweet ride. 375 00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:32,309 - Why'd you stop? - It was time. 376 00:13:32,445 --> 00:13:34,445 Uh, plus, I love Korverton, 377 00:13:34,514 --> 00:13:36,547 and after travelling all over the place 378 00:13:36,583 --> 00:13:37,782 it was nice to come home. 379 00:13:37,917 --> 00:13:39,851 Oh, god, I'm so bored of Korverton. 380 00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:41,819 Probably because I never left. 381 00:13:41,888 --> 00:13:44,122 I did go to Montreal in high school, 382 00:13:44,124 --> 00:13:45,857 but I got pickpocketed by a mime. 383 00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:47,125 I saw him do it, too. 384 00:13:47,127 --> 00:13:48,593 I thought it was part of the bit, 385 00:13:48,728 --> 00:13:50,861 then I just watched him pull himself on a rope 386 00:13:50,897 --> 00:13:52,263 until he was gone. 387 00:13:52,398 --> 00:13:54,465 I don't mean to brag, but I've been to 20 countries 388 00:13:54,467 --> 00:13:56,134 and I've been pickpocketed 16 times. 389 00:13:56,462 --> 00:13:58,336 - Any of them mimes? - No. 390 00:13:58,405 --> 00:14:00,305 Then that don't impress me much. 391 00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:02,073 Shut up, was that a Twain bomb?! 392 00:14:02,208 --> 00:14:04,408 Yeah, I'm a huge fan. You? 393 00:14:04,444 --> 00:14:07,812 I guess you could say that... 394 00:14:07,947 --> 00:14:10,481 - Shut up! Is that real? - Oh, yeah. 395 00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:13,150 Got it after her hometown show in Timmins. 396 00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:14,218 I'm still buzzin'! 397 00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:17,187 I regret nothing. 398 00:14:25,031 --> 00:14:27,564 Um, there's something I need to tell you. 399 00:14:27,601 --> 00:14:29,267 Do you hear that? 400 00:14:29,269 --> 00:14:31,302 - Are you messing with me? - No, it's like a... 401 00:14:31,437 --> 00:14:32,904 Like a repeated high-pitched tone, 402 00:14:33,039 --> 00:14:34,973 kind of like an alarm. 403 00:14:35,108 --> 00:14:37,308 - Do you smell that? - Very funny, DJ. 404 00:14:37,344 --> 00:14:38,643 The sound is real, by the way. 405 00:14:38,778 --> 00:14:40,912 Okay, I'm so sorry, but the smell is real too. 406 00:14:40,981 --> 00:14:43,047 Honestly, it's like straight-up farts. 407 00:14:43,049 --> 00:14:44,983 What, like sulphur, or like... 408 00:14:45,118 --> 00:14:46,119 like natural gas? 409 00:14:46,186 --> 00:14:48,720 Is that what you think the alarm is? Like a natural gas detector? 410 00:14:48,724 --> 00:14:51,055 Oh my God, is this place gonna explode? 411 00:14:51,190 --> 00:14:54,191 Keeran, hold all my calls. 412 00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:56,727 Alright, Nat, let's get you working. 413 00:15:09,576 --> 00:15:11,609 Okay... okay... 414 00:15:25,959 --> 00:15:27,024 Oh... 415 00:15:31,398 --> 00:15:33,031 I'm not saying it's gonna explode, 416 00:15:33,166 --> 00:15:35,099 I'm just saying I hope it doesn't explode. 417 00:15:35,168 --> 00:15:36,734 Stop saying explode! 418 00:15:36,869 --> 00:15:38,235 I'm sorry, don't explode on me. 419 00:15:38,305 --> 00:15:40,071 - I'm gonna kill you. - My bad, you set me up. 420 00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:41,205 The beeping's getting louder. 421 00:15:41,207 --> 00:15:42,239 - How much louder? - I dunno! 422 00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:43,708 How am I supposed to measure that? 423 00:15:43,710 --> 00:15:45,242 - Decibels? - Who can earball a decibel? 424 00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:46,344 Is the smell getting worse? 425 00:15:46,379 --> 00:15:48,012 In that it's now a taste? Oh, yeah! 426 00:15:48,014 --> 00:15:49,213 Why is this happening? 427 00:15:49,215 --> 00:15:50,549 Oh God, it's made its way into my throat! 428 00:15:50,558 --> 00:15:51,649 I think the sound is getting piercing. 429 00:15:51,734 --> 00:15:52,851 - It is? - Probably! 430 00:15:52,862 --> 00:15:55,319 Ah, the sound is definitely maybe getting piercing! 431 00:15:55,388 --> 00:15:56,621 I think it's almost maybe actually 432 00:15:56,623 --> 00:15:58,556 definitely going to explode on us! 433 00:15:58,671 --> 00:15:59,676 Get down! 434 00:15:59,693 --> 00:16:01,192 Ow! 435 00:16:03,830 --> 00:16:05,263 Hey, guys. 436 00:16:05,265 --> 00:16:07,465 - What the...? - Huh? 437 00:16:11,926 --> 00:16:12,934 Where are you going? 438 00:16:12,938 --> 00:16:14,306 - This place is gonna blow! - What do you mean? 439 00:16:14,318 --> 00:16:15,441 - Come on, come on! - Don't you hear that sound? 440 00:16:15,537 --> 00:16:20,011 You mean that sound? 441 00:16:20,013 --> 00:16:22,013 - Oh, I hear it now. - Yeah! 442 00:16:23,750 --> 00:16:25,883 I thought we were gonna die, but it was just... 443 00:16:25,950 --> 00:16:26,951 a theremin. 444 00:16:26,953 --> 00:16:28,086 That's... 445 00:16:28,088 --> 00:16:29,153 That's beautiful. 446 00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:30,855 I'm so glad you didn't die. 447 00:16:30,857 --> 00:16:33,124 I'd be so lost without you. 448 00:16:33,259 --> 00:16:34,558 How did you find us? 449 00:16:34,594 --> 00:16:37,361 Oh, yeah, I went to Angry Al's to come see you, 450 00:16:37,364 --> 00:16:39,897 and, uh, Josh said you were over at OMT, and this, like, 451 00:16:39,899 --> 00:16:42,233 super professional kid gave me the address here, and then, 452 00:16:42,302 --> 00:16:43,901 you know, Ethos is on the way, 453 00:16:43,903 --> 00:16:46,004 so I thought I'd get us a little lunchy-poo! 454 00:16:46,139 --> 00:16:47,771 Thanks, man! 455 00:16:47,807 --> 00:16:49,307 Oh, man, I'm sorry. 456 00:16:49,309 --> 00:16:50,942 I didn't know you'd be hungry. 457 00:16:50,944 --> 00:16:52,176 Anyway, we gotta get you to work. 458 00:16:52,311 --> 00:16:53,878 I'll meet you at the car. 459 00:16:53,947 --> 00:16:54,978 - Okay. - Okay. 460 00:16:56,883 --> 00:16:59,117 By the way, what did you wanna tell me earlier? 461 00:16:59,252 --> 00:17:01,852 Oh, wait here. 462 00:17:04,758 --> 00:17:07,057 Found the other ski. 463 00:17:07,093 --> 00:17:10,094 I can wax 'em up and bring 'em over to you after work. 464 00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:11,996 Thank you. 465 00:17:11,998 --> 00:17:13,498 You're the best. 466 00:17:17,470 --> 00:17:20,604 I... probably should go make sure I still have a job. 467 00:17:20,673 --> 00:17:23,474 You do that. 468 00:17:29,082 --> 00:17:32,083 You can return them in 10 days if you're not satisfied. 469 00:17:32,085 --> 00:17:35,285 Our customer service is indefatigable! 470 00:17:41,627 --> 00:17:44,629 You nefarious, odious, unscrupulous thief! 471 00:17:44,631 --> 00:17:46,497 You deceitful, reprehensible, verbiage burglar! 472 00:17:46,533 --> 00:17:48,533 Hey, hey, hey, relax! 473 00:17:48,668 --> 00:17:50,301 I hate seeing you so apoplectic. 474 00:17:50,436 --> 00:17:52,336 I swear to God, I... 475 00:17:52,338 --> 00:17:54,705 Wait... "Apoplectic"? 476 00:17:54,741 --> 00:17:57,074 How did you... uh, where did you get that? 477 00:17:57,077 --> 00:18:01,045 Well, my friend, I, too, am literate. 478 00:18:01,180 --> 00:18:04,381 I had no idea I was labouring with a fellow sesquipedalian. 479 00:18:04,383 --> 00:18:06,183 "Sesquipedalian" is an adjective. 480 00:18:06,252 --> 00:18:08,853 I'm, in fact, a sesquipedalian person. 481 00:18:08,988 --> 00:18:11,589 How do you know so much, yet keep it all inside? 482 00:18:11,724 --> 00:18:13,724 Speaking eruditely, all the time, 483 00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:17,862 can make you seem like a real lugubrious sack of shit. 484 00:18:17,997 --> 00:18:21,332 So I've heard from many ex-suitors, and yet I persist. 485 00:18:21,334 --> 00:18:23,267 - Ah, well, you do you. - Hm. 486 00:18:23,402 --> 00:18:25,402 - We're good now? - We're copacetic. 487 00:18:25,404 --> 00:18:28,238 - Dope. - Indubitably. 488 00:18:30,410 --> 00:18:32,610 Hmm, if only there were a medal 489 00:18:32,745 --> 00:18:35,880 for winning the nerdiest dick-swinging contest. 490 00:18:36,015 --> 00:18:37,748 Word. 491 00:18:37,750 --> 00:18:41,285 I thought it couldn't be done, but... I did it. 492 00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:43,354 I did it! 493 00:18:43,423 --> 00:18:46,257 I never should have doubted you, Cynthia. 494 00:18:47,110 --> 00:18:49,293 Okay! 495 00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:52,496 Go for Nat. 496 00:18:52,499 --> 00:18:54,665 Nat, I did the impossible! 497 00:18:54,701 --> 00:18:56,634 I negotiated with our hockey tape supplier 498 00:18:56,769 --> 00:18:58,835 and got them to reduce their price by 5%. 499 00:18:58,872 --> 00:19:00,771 I cut our Internet down to a slower provider... 500 00:19:00,807 --> 00:19:02,907 Customers are gonna have to wait an additional 8 seconds 501 00:19:03,042 --> 00:19:04,841 per transaction, but what's time other than money? 502 00:19:04,878 --> 00:19:07,712 And finally, I switched to one-ply recycled toilet paper! 503 00:19:07,847 --> 00:19:09,580 Rough as the devil, but cheap as hell. 504 00:19:09,616 --> 00:19:12,850 So I am now so proud to be able to offer you... 505 00:19:14,854 --> 00:19:17,321 three shifts per week! 506 00:19:17,323 --> 00:19:19,456 Which will hopefully allow you to eat food 507 00:19:19,458 --> 00:19:21,325 that isn't out of a dumpster. 508 00:19:21,361 --> 00:19:25,329 So, welcome to the team, Natalie James! 509 00:19:25,464 --> 00:19:27,765 Oh, Cynth, that's so cute. I appreciate it. 510 00:19:27,900 --> 00:19:29,266 But, um, hard pass. 511 00:19:29,302 --> 00:19:30,601 What?! 512 00:19:30,637 --> 00:19:33,203 Yeah, I got my chauffeur back, so it's all good. 513 00:19:33,642 --> 00:19:35,105 Okay, bye-bye! 514 00:19:43,315 --> 00:19:46,517 You mother... Nobody cuts off Nat! 515 00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:47,952 Carl, buckle up! 516 00:19:48,087 --> 00:19:50,287 It's about to get messy. 517 00:19:50,289 --> 00:19:51,922 Yeah! 518 00:19:51,991 --> 00:19:54,025 And the alarm that Gwen thought she heard, 519 00:19:54,027 --> 00:19:56,761 it was just a guy tuning the high notes on his theremin. 520 00:19:56,763 --> 00:19:58,562 Is that the instrument where you jerk off the air? 521 00:19:58,565 --> 00:20:00,264 - Yeah, that's the one. - Sick. 522 00:20:00,266 --> 00:20:02,032 And the gas smell was farts? 523 00:20:02,068 --> 00:20:03,701 Oh, no, it was natural gas. 524 00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:05,036 Turns out Jimmy's scorned ex-wife 525 00:20:05,171 --> 00:20:06,603 was gonna blow the place to bits. 526 00:20:06,639 --> 00:20:07,648 Damn! 527 00:20:07,674 --> 00:20:09,974 Hate to see a negative cliché confirmed. 528 00:20:09,976 --> 00:20:12,176 Sounds like you and Gwen had a traumatic experience. 529 00:20:12,178 --> 00:20:13,343 We sure did. 530 00:20:13,379 --> 00:20:15,980 But you know what they say about trauma... 531 00:20:15,982 --> 00:20:17,381 It brings people together. 532 00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:20,784 You said it, buddy. 533 00:20:24,591 --> 00:20:26,390 Whoa-oa-oa-oa-oa! 534 00:20:27,860 --> 00:20:30,260 Ahh-hh-hh-hh-hh! 535 00:20:30,296 --> 00:20:33,930 "Selcouth": Strange, unusual. Yeah. 536 00:20:33,967 --> 00:20:37,101 "Pulchritudinous": Physically beautiful. Like me. 537 00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:38,602 Hey, man. 538 00:20:38,638 --> 00:20:41,339 Uh, I'd like to sell these. 539 00:20:41,474 --> 00:20:43,107 Um, don't tell Gwen. 540 00:20:43,176 --> 00:20:44,342 Why not? 541 00:20:44,477 --> 00:20:45,743 Well, she got 'em for me, 542 00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:46,811 which is really, really sweet, 543 00:20:46,946 --> 00:20:48,912 I just hate the colour, you know? 544 00:20:51,284 --> 00:20:53,083 Give you 20 bucks. Not a penny more. 545 00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:54,284 These skis are ponderous. 546 00:20:55,692 --> 00:20:58,822 - What the hell does that mean? - It means bunglesome or incommodious. 547 00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:03,960 Fuck you, man. 548 00:21:06,499 --> 00:21:08,432 "Libatory"... 549 00:21:08,434 --> 00:21:10,267 Oh, that's good. 550 00:21:10,270 --> 00:21:12,103 "Badmash": A hooligan. 551 00:21:12,105 --> 00:21:14,505 Hmm, quite a badmash! 552 00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:17,441 "Humdudgeon": An imaginary illness or pain. 553 00:21:17,510 --> 00:21:19,510 I don't have any of those. 554 00:21:19,512 --> 00:21:21,779 "Pizookie": The original cast iron cookie. 555 00:21:21,848 --> 00:21:22,913 Okay, obviously. 556 00:21:22,915 --> 00:21:27,651 "Sternutator": An agent that causes sneezes. 557 00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:30,854 "Pantagruelian": Enormous. 558 00:21:30,890 --> 00:21:34,058 My Goodness, Keeran is a pantagruelian horn dog. 559 00:21:34,127 --> 00:21:36,560 "Scofflaw": A person who flouts the law. 560 00:21:36,562 --> 00:21:37,728 Ooh, "flouts" is good too. 40062

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