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1
00:00:01,816 --> 00:00:03,769
Goddamn!
2
00:00:03,771 --> 00:00:04,836
You made this?
3
00:00:04,905 --> 00:00:06,171
I know what you're thinking:
4
00:00:06,306 --> 00:00:09,174
You didn't know people under 85
were allowed to make brittle.
5
00:00:09,309 --> 00:00:10,809
- Are they?
- They just legalized it.
6
00:00:10,878 --> 00:00:13,379
Well, I'm glad it's no
longer an ageist art form,
7
00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:15,881
although I do fear you
young punks will ruin it.
8
00:00:15,950 --> 00:00:18,450
Is it tough making brittle
without your sense of smell?
9
00:00:18,452 --> 00:00:21,052
Not really,
but it did get in the way of me
10
00:00:21,088 --> 00:00:22,221
becoming a truffle pig.
11
00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:24,156
Well,
you're an unbelievable brittlist...
12
00:00:24,291 --> 00:00:26,257
brittler... brittelier?
13
00:00:26,259 --> 00:00:27,726
I prefer "boss-ass brittle bitch."
14
00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:29,127
Okay.
15
00:00:29,163 --> 00:00:32,197
But people can call me whatever
they want as long as I sell out.
16
00:00:32,332 --> 00:00:33,665
These wedding bills are piling up.
17
00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:36,335
Well, I'll be sure to
send the staff over to buy
18
00:00:36,470 --> 00:00:38,303
some of this boss-ass brittle, bitch!
19
00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:40,606
What'd you just say?
20
00:00:40,741 --> 00:00:42,740
I just said it 'cause you said it.
21
00:00:42,777 --> 00:00:44,876
- I would never...
- Just kidding!
22
00:00:44,945 --> 00:00:47,178
Hey, I've actually
been meaning to ask you,
23
00:00:47,214 --> 00:00:48,680
do you have any skis in stock?
24
00:00:48,749 --> 00:00:51,016
Not this time of year,
but we should be getting some
25
00:00:51,151 --> 00:00:52,418
in the next couple weeks,
26
00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:54,319
so I'll keep my ear to the ground.
27
00:00:54,321 --> 00:00:55,888
Mind keeping an eye
to the ground instead?
28
00:00:55,890 --> 00:00:57,823
Might yield better results.
29
00:00:57,892 --> 00:01:00,158
The fuck you just say?
30
00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:01,193
I'm just kidding!
31
00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:03,428
And hey,
the only way to fail is to quit,
32
00:01:03,497 --> 00:01:05,697
so don't give up on those
truffle pig dreams, okay?
33
00:01:08,502 --> 00:01:10,835
Can't forget my boss-ass brittle...
34
00:01:10,871 --> 00:01:12,437
Not gonna say it.
35
00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:15,774
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
36
00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:17,042
97...
37
00:01:17,683 --> 00:01:18,844
98...
38
00:01:18,913 --> 00:01:21,013
Yup! 99...
39
00:01:21,148 --> 00:01:23,081
Damn... 100!
40
00:01:23,150 --> 00:01:24,383
Oh!
41
00:01:24,518 --> 00:01:26,118
You're gonna crush those Olympics!
42
00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:28,853
From your lips to my right arm's ears.
43
00:01:30,558 --> 00:01:32,223
Whoa, that was pretty dope.
44
00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:34,259
I would say it was prodigious.
45
00:01:34,328 --> 00:01:35,627
Is that so?
46
00:01:35,696 --> 00:01:38,330
It means impressively great
in extent, size, or degree.
47
00:01:38,465 --> 00:01:41,466
- Yeah, I knew that.
- I don't believe you did.
48
00:01:41,469 --> 00:01:43,335
What an arrogant ass.
49
00:01:43,337 --> 00:01:47,072
Even when he says hello,
it sounds like an insult.
50
00:01:47,074 --> 00:01:48,840
That's a gift.
51
00:01:48,843 --> 00:01:50,509
Sorry, man, no can do.
52
00:01:50,644 --> 00:01:53,578
We don't really unload
garages full of random shit.
53
00:01:53,713 --> 00:01:56,014
Uh, just gimme a second.
Hey, whoa...
54
00:01:56,150 --> 00:01:57,482
Hey, Jimmy, you there?
55
00:01:57,617 --> 00:02:00,051
Sorry, let me just switch
my hearing aids over.
56
00:02:00,121 --> 00:02:02,521
Okay. Hey, sorry about that trainee.
57
00:02:02,523 --> 00:02:05,624
Did I hear you say that, uh,
you're unloading your garage?
58
00:02:05,693 --> 00:02:07,626
You happen to have any skis in there?
59
00:02:07,761 --> 00:02:10,529
Amazing. Lemme just grab your address.
60
00:02:10,598 --> 00:02:12,898
Okay, I will swing by ASAP.
61
00:02:12,967 --> 00:02:14,166
No, thank you!
62
00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:15,767
Alright, see ya, Jimbo.
63
00:02:15,903 --> 00:02:17,169
We do pickups now, boss?
64
00:02:17,171 --> 00:02:19,905
Uh, not usually, bud,
but we do always go the extra mile
65
00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:21,106
for our customers.
66
00:02:21,241 --> 00:02:24,309
Hey, did I hear you say,
"garage full of random shit"?
67
00:02:24,311 --> 00:02:27,312
Uh, yeah, but that's what he called it!
68
00:02:27,314 --> 00:02:29,047
Keeran, I need you to think of yourself
69
00:02:29,183 --> 00:02:31,383
as a brand ambassador for OMT, okay?
70
00:02:31,452 --> 00:02:33,451
So how you speak to the
customers needs to reflect
71
00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:35,720
the ethos of that brand. You got it?
72
00:02:35,756 --> 00:02:38,123
Ethos is that new souvlaki
place downtown, right?
73
00:02:38,192 --> 00:02:39,925
Yeah, they make their baklava in-house.
74
00:02:39,927 --> 00:02:41,026
It's unreal.
75
00:02:41,028 --> 00:02:42,261
Even the falafel is great.
76
00:02:42,263 --> 00:02:43,929
Not too dry. It's authentic stuff.
77
00:02:44,064 --> 00:02:45,097
Cool.
78
00:02:45,132 --> 00:02:47,466
But what I'm saying is,
you need to be polite
79
00:02:47,468 --> 00:02:50,302
and professional on
the phone at all times.
80
00:02:50,437 --> 00:02:51,869
This is important, okay?
81
00:02:51,906 --> 00:02:53,906
I'm so sorry. Please don't fire me.
82
00:02:54,041 --> 00:02:55,273
I'll do better on the phones!
83
00:02:55,309 --> 00:02:57,075
I never wanna let my work dad down.
84
00:02:57,077 --> 00:02:58,310
Relax, you're not fired, bud.
85
00:02:58,312 --> 00:03:00,111
And please don't call me your work dad.
86
00:03:00,147 --> 00:03:01,480
It's unsettling.
87
00:03:01,482 --> 00:03:04,082
It won't happen again, work father.
88
00:03:04,151 --> 00:03:05,350
Okay.
89
00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:07,886
- I just don't know.
- It's a big decision.
90
00:03:07,888 --> 00:03:10,155
But you know who swears by this glove?
91
00:03:10,290 --> 00:03:11,890
Mike Trout.
92
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:16,294
One of the most prodigious
players to ever play the game!
93
00:03:16,296 --> 00:03:19,964
Well, how can I say no to
the most prodigious player?
94
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:22,601
I'll take three.
95
00:03:22,736 --> 00:03:26,904
I'll meet you over at the
cash when you're ready.
96
00:03:26,941 --> 00:03:29,841
- What the hell was that?
- What was... what?
97
00:03:29,877 --> 00:03:31,243
You stole my word.
98
00:03:31,245 --> 00:03:32,911
You said "prodigious." It's my word.
99
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,279
My bad.
100
00:03:34,348 --> 00:03:37,115
I didn't know there were rules
on who could use fancy words.
101
00:03:37,117 --> 00:03:38,483
There's a plethora of rules,
102
00:03:38,619 --> 00:03:39,985
because the word maketh the man,
103
00:03:40,054 --> 00:03:42,120
and when the rules are broken,
it makes me lugubrious.
104
00:03:42,122 --> 00:03:44,122
Oh, if that means phlegmy,
stay away from me!
105
00:03:44,258 --> 00:03:45,857
My coach will kill me if I get sick.
106
00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:47,259
It's not illness-related, you prat.
107
00:03:47,261 --> 00:03:49,727
Patty's got a soccer tourney
this weekend and I'm driving.
108
00:03:49,763 --> 00:03:51,529
Really can't afford
to get whatever it is
109
00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:52,565
you're riddled with.
110
00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:54,266
Lugubrious means sad, okay?
111
00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:55,968
- It makes me sad.
- Oh.
112
00:03:56,103 --> 00:04:00,806
Well, I don't wanna make you
lugu... sad.
113
00:04:00,941 --> 00:04:02,373
Won't happen again.
114
00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:03,875
Thank you.
115
00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:10,549
You're saying you want
a job here at OMT?
116
00:04:10,684 --> 00:04:13,418
Look, this is the last place
that I ever saw myself,
117
00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:15,153
but my life is in peril, so...
118
00:04:15,288 --> 00:04:16,621
Well, what's going on?
119
00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:18,623
It's like you follow one car home
120
00:04:18,626 --> 00:04:20,091
after that car cuts you off,
121
00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:22,027
and then chauffeur just
shuts down your account?
122
00:04:22,096 --> 00:04:23,228
I mean... hah!
123
00:04:23,297 --> 00:04:25,297
It's like apparently "illegal"
to follow people home.
124
00:04:25,299 --> 00:04:26,598
- I don't know.
- It is.
125
00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:28,900
It's total corporate-profit-
over-people horse shit.
126
00:04:29,036 --> 00:04:31,370
Do you have any retail experience?
127
00:04:31,505 --> 00:04:33,305
- No, nada.
- Okay.
128
00:04:33,307 --> 00:04:35,606
Um, what are your strengths?
129
00:04:35,608 --> 00:04:38,176
I would say my greatest strength is that
130
00:04:38,245 --> 00:04:41,379
I respect you too much to
give you a bullshit answer
131
00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:45,350
to a cliché interview
question like that.
132
00:04:45,486 --> 00:04:46,985
- Thank you?
- You're welcome!
133
00:04:46,987 --> 00:04:48,653
Oh, uh, and I would love
134
00:04:48,722 --> 00:04:51,156
if I could have
staggering shifts from DJ.
135
00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:53,859
We, uh, tried to co-run
a lemonade stand together
136
00:04:53,994 --> 00:04:58,063
when we were kids
and his nose got broken.
137
00:04:58,065 --> 00:04:59,397
Allegedly.
138
00:04:59,466 --> 00:05:01,132
I see.
139
00:05:01,168 --> 00:05:04,269
I'm sorry, Nat,
I just don't have the budget
140
00:05:04,404 --> 00:05:05,937
to hire anybody right now.
141
00:05:06,006 --> 00:05:09,040
But, Cynthia, you are a mastermind.
142
00:05:09,043 --> 00:05:11,543
What do you say you just lean in and...
143
00:05:11,612 --> 00:05:13,078
You could figure something out!
144
00:05:13,147 --> 00:05:14,546
Heh!
145
00:05:14,548 --> 00:05:16,547
Flattery will get you everywhere.
146
00:05:16,583 --> 00:05:19,217
You're so funny, you!
147
00:05:19,286 --> 00:05:20,852
- Oh, sorry. Not here.
- What?
148
00:05:20,888 --> 00:05:23,088
No, no. Sorry, Nat, it's impossible.
149
00:05:23,873 --> 00:05:25,510
- Really?
- Impossible.
150
00:05:25,559 --> 00:05:26,958
That sucks!
151
00:05:27,027 --> 00:05:28,293
Oh my God...
152
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,634
Whoa, Jimmy, this is a gold mine!
153
00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:37,034
Take whatever you want.
154
00:05:37,071 --> 00:05:39,771
I'm moving to Florida,
and my soon-to-be ex-wife says
155
00:05:39,807 --> 00:05:42,841
anything I don't take with me,
she's gonna burn to the ground.
156
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:44,376
Brutal! What'd you do?
157
00:05:44,445 --> 00:05:46,712
Heh. I'd rather not say.
158
00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:48,046
We respect your privacy.
159
00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:50,915
So, uh, lock up when you're done!
160
00:05:50,951 --> 00:05:53,051
Sounds good, Jimmy.
Thanks for thinking of OMT.
161
00:05:54,655 --> 00:05:56,187
Anyway, I can't thank you enough
162
00:05:56,223 --> 00:05:57,522
for letting me have first dibs.
163
00:05:57,558 --> 00:05:59,658
Oh, by the way, I have work in an hour.
164
00:05:59,793 --> 00:06:01,192
Do you think that's doable?
165
00:06:01,228 --> 00:06:02,527
Pssht...
166
00:06:02,563 --> 00:06:04,262
Are you kidding me?
167
00:06:04,264 --> 00:06:06,664
If these trends continue,
we'll be out of here in 5 minutes
168
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:08,266
with 55 minutes to spare.
169
00:06:08,402 --> 00:06:11,269
Hell, we might even have time
for Ethos on the way home.
170
00:06:11,305 --> 00:06:12,671
We'd be fools not to go.
171
00:06:16,176 --> 00:06:17,509
Whoa!
172
00:06:17,578 --> 00:06:18,676
Are you okay?
173
00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:20,245
Yeah... You?
174
00:06:20,314 --> 00:06:22,280
Yeah, I'm good.
175
00:06:27,287 --> 00:06:28,487
But I can't get this open.
176
00:06:28,622 --> 00:06:30,288
Uh...
177
00:06:32,891 --> 00:06:34,492
Okay, well, this door's locked, too.
178
00:06:34,528 --> 00:06:36,027
What kind of lock is it?
179
00:06:36,163 --> 00:06:38,329
What kind of lock would bring you hope?
180
00:06:38,365 --> 00:06:40,131
- None of 'em, I guess.
- Hmm.
181
00:06:40,167 --> 00:06:42,467
Don't worry,
we'll still get you to work on time
182
00:06:42,469 --> 00:06:44,269
with a belly full of Ethos, no less.
183
00:06:44,338 --> 00:06:45,470
Okay...
184
00:06:48,341 --> 00:06:49,373
Oh...
185
00:06:51,245 --> 00:06:53,512
We might have to skip Ethos.
186
00:07:02,890 --> 00:07:04,389
Yeah, we are definitely trapped.
187
00:07:04,524 --> 00:07:05,557
We should probably call someone.
188
00:07:05,626 --> 00:07:07,325
Great idea.
189
00:07:07,327 --> 00:07:08,593
My phone's in the car.
190
00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:10,462
Uh, mine's at 1%.
191
00:07:10,531 --> 00:07:11,663
Dude, seriously?
192
00:07:11,732 --> 00:07:13,130
I was gonna charge it in the car,
193
00:07:13,167 --> 00:07:14,966
but you were using the cord, so...
194
00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:16,267
That was very nice of you.
195
00:07:16,403 --> 00:07:17,702
I'm no hero.
196
00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:20,138
But we probably only have one call.
Two if we keep it brief.
197
00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:21,873
I don't have Jimmy's number, though.
198
00:07:21,909 --> 00:07:24,209
I'll call OMT.
They can give us Jimmy's number.
199
00:07:24,211 --> 00:07:26,477
- Love it. Let's do it!
- Okay, here we go.
200
00:07:27,614 --> 00:07:29,080
Bluetooth, right in the hearing aids.
201
00:07:29,082 --> 00:07:31,082
- Ah.
- Amazing technology.
202
00:07:31,151 --> 00:07:32,951
Thank you for calling One More Time.
203
00:07:33,020 --> 00:07:35,487
My name is Keeran,
and I'm here to go above and beyond
204
00:07:35,556 --> 00:07:37,022
to help you with all
your sporting needs,
205
00:07:37,157 --> 00:07:39,023
from hockey to baseball,
from tennis to racquetball,
206
00:07:39,059 --> 00:07:40,424
from fishing to lacrosse,
from basketball...
207
00:07:40,461 --> 00:07:41,759
Hey, Keeran, it's DJ.
208
00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:43,895
Uh, I appreciate
the professionalism, bud,
209
00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:46,031
but, uh, I'm in a bit of a rush here.
210
00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:48,566
Also, "from tennis to racquetball"
isn't that big of a spread.
211
00:07:48,702 --> 00:07:51,035
Okay, I can sense you're upset,
but OMT is here to help.
212
00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:52,504
How can I help? I'm Keeran.
213
00:07:52,506 --> 00:07:53,705
You already gave your name, bud.
214
00:07:53,774 --> 00:07:55,941
Uh, listen, I'm in a bit of a rush here.
215
00:07:55,943 --> 00:07:57,909
I'm stuck in, uh,
Jimmy's garage with Gwen.
216
00:07:58,044 --> 00:08:00,411
Oh, tell Gwen I've been downing
her brittle all morning.
217
00:08:00,447 --> 00:08:01,580
It's the best!
218
00:08:01,715 --> 00:08:03,114
- He says he loves your brittle.
- Thanks, Keeran.
219
00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:04,716
Ask her how she makes it.
220
00:08:04,851 --> 00:08:06,183
How do you... he wants to... Keeran!
221
00:08:06,220 --> 00:08:07,919
We don't have time for this,
buddy, okay?
222
00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:09,988
Listen, I need you
to look up Jimmy's number
223
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:11,189
as quick as you can, okay?
224
00:08:11,258 --> 00:08:12,657
I see what you're doing.
225
00:08:12,792 --> 00:08:14,659
I'm afraid I can't give out
any phone numbers
226
00:08:14,794 --> 00:08:15,860
under any circumstance.
227
00:08:15,863 --> 00:08:17,863
Keeran, my phone's at 1%.
Please, quick!
228
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:19,397
Why don't you just charge it, then?
229
00:08:19,466 --> 00:08:20,732
Keeran!
230
00:08:20,801 --> 00:08:23,001
Okay, let me just figure
out how to put you on hold
231
00:08:23,136 --> 00:08:24,536
- and then I'll get a...
- Keeran?
232
00:08:24,571 --> 00:08:25,603
Did your phone die?
233
00:08:25,639 --> 00:08:27,471
No, I think he hung up. I got him.
234
00:08:27,508 --> 00:08:29,707
I'm calling him back here.
235
00:08:29,743 --> 00:08:30,841
Hello.
236
00:08:30,843 --> 00:08:31,876
Thank you for calling OMT.
237
00:08:31,945 --> 00:08:33,612
I'm Keeran.
I'm a part-time sales associate...
238
00:08:33,614 --> 00:08:34,880
Hey, Keeran, it's DJ.
239
00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:37,481
Oh. Hey, DJ. I got the number.
240
00:08:37,518 --> 00:08:39,017
Great. What is it?
241
00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:40,652
- It's 519...
- 519...
242
00:08:40,787 --> 00:08:42,653
628...
243
00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:44,422
Shit...
244
00:08:44,458 --> 00:08:46,091
- It died.
- No!
245
00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:48,059
Well, there's gotta be a
charger in here somewhere.
246
00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:50,361
Heh... for a flip phone, maybe!
247
00:08:50,397 --> 00:08:51,630
Well, let's look.
248
00:08:51,632 --> 00:08:53,831
Worst-case scenario,
maybe we find the other ski, too.
249
00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:55,567
Yes, let's find those skis for Eddie.
250
00:08:55,636 --> 00:08:57,001
Good distraction.
251
00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:58,637
The... skis are for Eddie?
252
00:08:58,772 --> 00:09:00,004
Yeah, his birthday's coming up
253
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:02,406
- and I wanted to surprise him.
- Oh...!
254
00:09:02,442 --> 00:09:05,176
Aw, how cool is that,
that we're here for Eddie?
255
00:09:05,312 --> 00:09:08,113
Yeah! But I really appreciate
you helping me with this.
256
00:09:08,115 --> 00:09:10,114
Of course.
257
00:09:15,122 --> 00:09:17,889
Oh! Hey, Cynth! What's up?
258
00:09:18,024 --> 00:09:20,926
My word, what are you doing in there?
259
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:24,729
Oh, man, you would not believe
how much these businesses waste.
260
00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:27,065
I mean, look at this.
261
00:09:27,134 --> 00:09:29,801
It's like a veritable
smorgasbord in here.
262
00:09:29,870 --> 00:09:32,136
So... you're dumpster diving?
263
00:09:32,172 --> 00:09:34,139
No! No, no, I prefer to think of it as
264
00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:38,276
thriving off the waste
of the wealthy fat cats.
265
00:09:39,322 --> 00:09:40,879
But yeah, yeah, I'm dumpster diving.
266
00:09:40,881 --> 00:09:42,146
Do you, uh... roll?
267
00:09:42,282 --> 00:09:45,483
Oh! Um, thank you. I am...
268
00:09:45,485 --> 00:09:47,152
- I'm off bread.
- Got you.
269
00:09:47,154 --> 00:09:49,420
Is your brother aware of this?
270
00:09:49,456 --> 00:09:51,889
Uh... No. I don't need his help.
271
00:09:51,891 --> 00:09:53,024
I am an independent woman.
272
00:09:53,026 --> 00:09:56,628
Oh, God, that takes me back to '99.
273
00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:58,697
I was on the lam in Guadalajara
274
00:09:58,832 --> 00:10:01,366
and had to steal tacos
off of restaurant tables
275
00:10:01,435 --> 00:10:02,967
just to stay alive!
276
00:10:02,970 --> 00:10:05,570
And I thought Y2K was
gonna wipe my record clean.
277
00:10:05,639 --> 00:10:07,872
But when that turned out to be a sham,
278
00:10:07,874 --> 00:10:10,108
I had to get resourceful too.
279
00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:11,275
So...
280
00:10:11,311 --> 00:10:13,310
stripping?
281
00:10:13,347 --> 00:10:15,647
Yeah, yeah. Sure, let's go with that.
282
00:10:15,649 --> 00:10:16,914
Cool.
283
00:10:16,984 --> 00:10:19,651
Well, uh, I gotta go
check out the Ethos dumpster
284
00:10:19,653 --> 00:10:22,520
before the sun does too
much damage to the souvlaki.
285
00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:24,556
So...
286
00:10:25,428 --> 00:10:27,592
Nat?
287
00:10:27,727 --> 00:10:32,263
God does grant me the courage
to change the things that I can.
288
00:10:32,297 --> 00:10:33,298
- Uh...
- You know what?
289
00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:35,000
I'm gonna go back in
290
00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:37,135
and I'm gonna look at
those numbers again
291
00:10:37,204 --> 00:10:38,803
and I'm gonna get you a job.
292
00:10:38,839 --> 00:10:40,071
No way.
293
00:10:40,107 --> 00:10:42,307
That is sick! That's radical!
294
00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:44,442
- I totally believe in you!
- Ah!
295
00:10:44,478 --> 00:10:46,077
If you wanna, if you wanna hang later,
296
00:10:46,212 --> 00:10:47,278
we can grab dins maybe.
297
00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:49,947
Oh, I'm goo... Blech!
298
00:10:51,118 --> 00:10:52,950
Stuck in here 'cause of Eddie...
299
00:10:53,020 --> 00:10:54,352
Find anything?
300
00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:55,553
Uh, no.
301
00:10:55,555 --> 00:10:58,957
I mean, just these devil sticks,
Hamlet costume,
302
00:10:58,959 --> 00:11:00,959
and this zebra telephone.
303
00:11:01,094 --> 00:11:02,761
Hello? Yeah, no one there.
304
00:11:02,763 --> 00:11:04,495
Still trapped. You?
305
00:11:04,631 --> 00:11:06,831
Just whatever the hell this is.
306
00:11:06,867 --> 00:11:08,800
No way... I know exactly what this is!
307
00:11:08,802 --> 00:11:09,968
Yeah?
308
00:11:10,103 --> 00:11:12,203
My mom used to have one
of these in the basement.
309
00:11:12,239 --> 00:11:14,405
It was called the Blubberbuster 2000.
310
00:11:17,077 --> 00:11:18,977
Women were definitely
climaxing to this, right?
311
00:11:19,112 --> 00:11:20,779
Oh, yeah. Not my mom, though.
312
00:11:20,914 --> 00:11:22,447
Not that I don't want my mom to climax.
313
00:11:22,582 --> 00:11:24,282
That's very... thoughtful.
314
00:11:24,284 --> 00:11:26,584
- It's all yours if you want it.
- Oh, no.
315
00:11:26,620 --> 00:11:29,220
My basement's already
teeming with brittle things.
316
00:11:29,256 --> 00:11:31,055
You're a real brittle head, huh?
317
00:11:31,124 --> 00:11:33,391
I used to dream about
opening my own shop.
318
00:11:33,393 --> 00:11:34,492
Yeah?
319
00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:37,028
I would call it
"Brittle House on the Prairie."
320
00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:38,196
It's ridiculous, I know.
321
00:11:38,265 --> 00:11:40,064
You need to open this shop immediately.
322
00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:42,299
Uh, no! It takes money and it's risky,
323
00:11:42,335 --> 00:11:44,836
and I haven't even told Eddie yet.
324
00:11:44,905 --> 00:11:46,204
How does Eddie not know about BHOP?
325
00:11:46,273 --> 00:11:47,739
Because it's never gonna happen!
326
00:11:47,808 --> 00:11:50,474
Because who's ever heard of
a successful brittle store?
327
00:11:50,476 --> 00:11:52,877
I once saw a hugely successful store
328
00:11:52,946 --> 00:11:55,480
that sold nothing but
penis-shaped doughnuts.
329
00:11:56,140 --> 00:11:57,181
If that kid can make
330
00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:59,551
their perverted pastry dreams come true,
331
00:11:59,553 --> 00:12:00,885
so can you.
332
00:12:00,921 --> 00:12:02,687
Thanks, DJ.
333
00:12:02,756 --> 00:12:04,088
You're a good friend.
334
00:12:05,792 --> 00:12:06,891
Hit me!
335
00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:12,563
Ahh!
336
00:12:12,699 --> 00:12:14,566
197...
337
00:12:14,568 --> 00:12:15,633
198...
338
00:12:16,387 --> 00:12:18,369
199, yup!
339
00:12:18,371 --> 00:12:19,570
200!
340
00:12:20,711 --> 00:12:21,139
Did it!
341
00:12:21,174 --> 00:12:22,707
- Oh!
- Oh-ho-ho!
342
00:12:22,842 --> 00:12:24,242
Hoo! Hoo!
343
00:12:24,311 --> 00:12:28,513
If you don't come home with
at least six gold medals,
344
00:12:28,515 --> 00:12:31,582
it'll be a real lugubrious
state of affairs.
345
00:12:31,618 --> 00:12:33,851
Ah, there's only one
medal available, but, uh,
346
00:12:33,887 --> 00:12:34,919
I appreciate your support, buddy.
347
00:12:34,988 --> 00:12:36,654
Look, I'm trying
to be equitable here, man,
348
00:12:36,656 --> 00:12:37,889
but you just did it again.
349
00:12:37,891 --> 00:12:38,956
Did... what?
350
00:12:39,025 --> 00:12:41,192
Used my word, "lugubrious." Mine.
351
00:12:41,194 --> 00:12:43,194
We talked about this.
What is this, adrenal fatigue?
352
00:12:43,329 --> 00:12:44,896
- What?
- I didn't even notice.
353
00:12:44,965 --> 00:12:46,564
Oh, you just happened to use the phrase
354
00:12:46,566 --> 00:12:47,598
"lugubrious state of affairs"?
355
00:12:47,667 --> 00:12:48,867
That's just normal layman speak for you?
356
00:12:49,002 --> 00:12:50,034
I swear.
357
00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:51,902
And I'm for real sorry, man.
358
00:12:53,340 --> 00:12:55,607
I put a ton of effort into these words,
359
00:12:55,609 --> 00:12:56,941
upgrading my lexicon daily,
360
00:12:56,977 --> 00:12:58,610
and they're not available
for any plebeian
361
00:12:58,745 --> 00:13:00,144
to just haphazardly purloin.
362
00:13:00,180 --> 00:13:02,013
When it comes to learning
sophisticated terminology,
363
00:13:02,082 --> 00:13:03,147
I'm indefatigable.
364
00:13:03,183 --> 00:13:04,515
Don't do it again!
365
00:13:06,987 --> 00:13:08,686
Are you messing with him?
366
00:13:08,722 --> 00:13:10,622
Just 100%!
367
00:13:10,757 --> 00:13:11,923
Wow!
368
00:13:11,925 --> 00:13:13,624
I think you like confrontation.
369
00:13:13,660 --> 00:13:15,759
It's not confrontation,
370
00:13:15,796 --> 00:13:17,595
it's confrontainment!
371
00:13:19,399 --> 00:13:21,632
So...
372
00:13:21,668 --> 00:13:23,634
What's your ridiculous dream?
373
00:13:23,703 --> 00:13:26,471
I wanted to be a pro
hockey player and I did it.
374
00:13:26,606 --> 00:13:29,440
I didn't make the NHL,
but it was still a pretty sweet ride.
375
00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:32,309
- Why'd you stop?
- It was time.
376
00:13:32,445 --> 00:13:34,445
Uh, plus, I love Korverton,
377
00:13:34,514 --> 00:13:36,547
and after travelling all over the place
378
00:13:36,583 --> 00:13:37,782
it was nice to come home.
379
00:13:37,917 --> 00:13:39,851
Oh, god, I'm so bored of Korverton.
380
00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:41,819
Probably because I never left.
381
00:13:41,888 --> 00:13:44,122
I did go to Montreal in high school,
382
00:13:44,124 --> 00:13:45,857
but I got pickpocketed by a mime.
383
00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:47,125
I saw him do it, too.
384
00:13:47,127 --> 00:13:48,593
I thought it was part of the bit,
385
00:13:48,728 --> 00:13:50,861
then I just watched him
pull himself on a rope
386
00:13:50,897 --> 00:13:52,263
until he was gone.
387
00:13:52,398 --> 00:13:54,465
I don't mean to brag,
but I've been to 20 countries
388
00:13:54,467 --> 00:13:56,134
and I've been pickpocketed 16 times.
389
00:13:56,462 --> 00:13:58,336
- Any of them mimes?
- No.
390
00:13:58,405 --> 00:14:00,305
Then that don't impress me much.
391
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:02,073
Shut up, was that a Twain bomb?!
392
00:14:02,208 --> 00:14:04,408
Yeah, I'm a huge fan. You?
393
00:14:04,444 --> 00:14:07,812
I guess you could say that...
394
00:14:07,947 --> 00:14:10,481
- Shut up! Is that real?
- Oh, yeah.
395
00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:13,150
Got it after her
hometown show in Timmins.
396
00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:14,218
I'm still buzzin'!
397
00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:17,187
I regret nothing.
398
00:14:25,031 --> 00:14:27,564
Um, there's something
I need to tell you.
399
00:14:27,601 --> 00:14:29,267
Do you hear that?
400
00:14:29,269 --> 00:14:31,302
- Are you messing with me?
- No, it's like a...
401
00:14:31,437 --> 00:14:32,904
Like a repeated high-pitched tone,
402
00:14:33,039 --> 00:14:34,973
kind of like an alarm.
403
00:14:35,108 --> 00:14:37,308
- Do you smell that?
- Very funny, DJ.
404
00:14:37,344 --> 00:14:38,643
The sound is real, by the way.
405
00:14:38,778 --> 00:14:40,912
Okay, I'm so sorry,
but the smell is real too.
406
00:14:40,981 --> 00:14:43,047
Honestly, it's like straight-up farts.
407
00:14:43,049 --> 00:14:44,983
What, like sulphur, or like...
408
00:14:45,118 --> 00:14:46,119
like natural gas?
409
00:14:46,186 --> 00:14:48,720
Is that what you think the alarm is?
Like a natural gas detector?
410
00:14:48,724 --> 00:14:51,055
Oh my God, is this place gonna explode?
411
00:14:51,190 --> 00:14:54,191
Keeran, hold all my calls.
412
00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:56,727
Alright, Nat, let's get you working.
413
00:15:09,576 --> 00:15:11,609
Okay... okay...
414
00:15:25,959 --> 00:15:27,024
Oh...
415
00:15:31,398 --> 00:15:33,031
I'm not saying it's gonna explode,
416
00:15:33,166 --> 00:15:35,099
I'm just saying I hope
it doesn't explode.
417
00:15:35,168 --> 00:15:36,734
Stop saying explode!
418
00:15:36,869 --> 00:15:38,235
I'm sorry, don't explode on me.
419
00:15:38,305 --> 00:15:40,071
- I'm gonna kill you.
- My bad, you set me up.
420
00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:41,205
The beeping's getting louder.
421
00:15:41,207 --> 00:15:42,239
- How much louder?
- I dunno!
422
00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:43,708
How am I supposed to measure that?
423
00:15:43,710 --> 00:15:45,242
- Decibels?
- Who can earball a decibel?
424
00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:46,344
Is the smell getting worse?
425
00:15:46,379 --> 00:15:48,012
In that it's now a taste? Oh, yeah!
426
00:15:48,014 --> 00:15:49,213
Why is this happening?
427
00:15:49,215 --> 00:15:50,549
Oh God, it's made its way
into my throat!
428
00:15:50,558 --> 00:15:51,649
I think the sound is getting piercing.
429
00:15:51,734 --> 00:15:52,851
- It is?
- Probably!
430
00:15:52,862 --> 00:15:55,319
Ah, the sound is definitely
maybe getting piercing!
431
00:15:55,388 --> 00:15:56,621
I think it's almost maybe actually
432
00:15:56,623 --> 00:15:58,556
definitely going to explode on us!
433
00:15:58,671 --> 00:15:59,676
Get down!
434
00:15:59,693 --> 00:16:01,192
Ow!
435
00:16:03,830 --> 00:16:05,263
Hey, guys.
436
00:16:05,265 --> 00:16:07,465
- What the...?
- Huh?
437
00:16:11,926 --> 00:16:12,934
Where are you going?
438
00:16:12,938 --> 00:16:14,306
- This place is gonna blow!
- What do you mean?
439
00:16:14,318 --> 00:16:15,441
- Come on, come on!
- Don't you hear that sound?
440
00:16:15,537 --> 00:16:20,011
You mean that sound?
441
00:16:20,013 --> 00:16:22,013
- Oh, I hear it now.
- Yeah!
442
00:16:23,750 --> 00:16:25,883
I thought we were gonna die,
but it was just...
443
00:16:25,950 --> 00:16:26,951
a theremin.
444
00:16:26,953 --> 00:16:28,086
That's...
445
00:16:28,088 --> 00:16:29,153
That's beautiful.
446
00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:30,855
I'm so glad you didn't die.
447
00:16:30,857 --> 00:16:33,124
I'd be so lost without you.
448
00:16:33,259 --> 00:16:34,558
How did you find us?
449
00:16:34,594 --> 00:16:37,361
Oh, yeah, I went to Angry Al's
to come see you,
450
00:16:37,364 --> 00:16:39,897
and, uh, Josh said you were over
at OMT, and this, like,
451
00:16:39,899 --> 00:16:42,233
super professional kid gave
me the address here, and then,
452
00:16:42,302 --> 00:16:43,901
you know, Ethos is on the way,
453
00:16:43,903 --> 00:16:46,004
so I thought I'd get us
a little lunchy-poo!
454
00:16:46,139 --> 00:16:47,771
Thanks, man!
455
00:16:47,807 --> 00:16:49,307
Oh, man, I'm sorry.
456
00:16:49,309 --> 00:16:50,942
I didn't know you'd be hungry.
457
00:16:50,944 --> 00:16:52,176
Anyway, we gotta get you to work.
458
00:16:52,311 --> 00:16:53,878
I'll meet you at the car.
459
00:16:53,947 --> 00:16:54,978
- Okay.
- Okay.
460
00:16:56,883 --> 00:16:59,117
By the way,
what did you wanna tell me earlier?
461
00:16:59,252 --> 00:17:01,852
Oh, wait here.
462
00:17:04,758 --> 00:17:07,057
Found the other ski.
463
00:17:07,093 --> 00:17:10,094
I can wax 'em up and bring
'em over to you after work.
464
00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:11,996
Thank you.
465
00:17:11,998 --> 00:17:13,498
You're the best.
466
00:17:17,470 --> 00:17:20,604
I... probably should go
make sure I still have a job.
467
00:17:20,673 --> 00:17:23,474
You do that.
468
00:17:29,082 --> 00:17:32,083
You can return them in 10
days if you're not satisfied.
469
00:17:32,085 --> 00:17:35,285
Our customer service is indefatigable!
470
00:17:41,627 --> 00:17:44,629
You nefarious, odious,
unscrupulous thief!
471
00:17:44,631 --> 00:17:46,497
You deceitful, reprehensible,
verbiage burglar!
472
00:17:46,533 --> 00:17:48,533
Hey, hey, hey, relax!
473
00:17:48,668 --> 00:17:50,301
I hate seeing you so apoplectic.
474
00:17:50,436 --> 00:17:52,336
I swear to God, I...
475
00:17:52,338 --> 00:17:54,705
Wait... "Apoplectic"?
476
00:17:54,741 --> 00:17:57,074
How did you...
uh, where did you get that?
477
00:17:57,077 --> 00:18:01,045
Well, my friend, I, too, am literate.
478
00:18:01,180 --> 00:18:04,381
I had no idea I was labouring
with a fellow sesquipedalian.
479
00:18:04,383 --> 00:18:06,183
"Sesquipedalian" is an adjective.
480
00:18:06,252 --> 00:18:08,853
I'm, in fact, a sesquipedalian person.
481
00:18:08,988 --> 00:18:11,589
How do you know so much,
yet keep it all inside?
482
00:18:11,724 --> 00:18:13,724
Speaking eruditely, all the time,
483
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:17,862
can make you seem like a
real lugubrious sack of shit.
484
00:18:17,997 --> 00:18:21,332
So I've heard from many ex-suitors,
and yet I persist.
485
00:18:21,334 --> 00:18:23,267
- Ah, well, you do you.
- Hm.
486
00:18:23,402 --> 00:18:25,402
- We're good now?
- We're copacetic.
487
00:18:25,404 --> 00:18:28,238
- Dope.
- Indubitably.
488
00:18:30,410 --> 00:18:32,610
Hmm, if only there were a medal
489
00:18:32,745 --> 00:18:35,880
for winning the nerdiest
dick-swinging contest.
490
00:18:36,015 --> 00:18:37,748
Word.
491
00:18:37,750 --> 00:18:41,285
I thought it couldn't be done,
but... I did it.
492
00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:43,354
I did it!
493
00:18:43,423 --> 00:18:46,257
I never should have doubted you,
Cynthia.
494
00:18:47,110 --> 00:18:49,293
Okay!
495
00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:52,496
Go for Nat.
496
00:18:52,499 --> 00:18:54,665
Nat, I did the impossible!
497
00:18:54,701 --> 00:18:56,634
I negotiated with our
hockey tape supplier
498
00:18:56,769 --> 00:18:58,835
and got them to reduce
their price by 5%.
499
00:18:58,872 --> 00:19:00,771
I cut our Internet down
to a slower provider...
500
00:19:00,807 --> 00:19:02,907
Customers are gonna have to
wait an additional 8 seconds
501
00:19:03,042 --> 00:19:04,841
per transaction,
but what's time other than money?
502
00:19:04,878 --> 00:19:07,712
And finally, I switched to
one-ply recycled toilet paper!
503
00:19:07,847 --> 00:19:09,580
Rough as the devil, but cheap as hell.
504
00:19:09,616 --> 00:19:12,850
So I am now so proud
to be able to offer you...
505
00:19:14,854 --> 00:19:17,321
three shifts per week!
506
00:19:17,323 --> 00:19:19,456
Which will hopefully
allow you to eat food
507
00:19:19,458 --> 00:19:21,325
that isn't out of a dumpster.
508
00:19:21,361 --> 00:19:25,329
So, welcome to the team, Natalie James!
509
00:19:25,464 --> 00:19:27,765
Oh, Cynth, that's so cute.
I appreciate it.
510
00:19:27,900 --> 00:19:29,266
But, um, hard pass.
511
00:19:29,302 --> 00:19:30,601
What?!
512
00:19:30,637 --> 00:19:33,203
Yeah, I got my chauffeur back,
so it's all good.
513
00:19:33,642 --> 00:19:35,105
Okay, bye-bye!
514
00:19:43,315 --> 00:19:46,517
You mother... Nobody cuts off Nat!
515
00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:47,952
Carl, buckle up!
516
00:19:48,087 --> 00:19:50,287
It's about to get messy.
517
00:19:50,289 --> 00:19:51,922
Yeah!
518
00:19:51,991 --> 00:19:54,025
And the alarm that
Gwen thought she heard,
519
00:19:54,027 --> 00:19:56,761
it was just a guy tuning the
high notes on his theremin.
520
00:19:56,763 --> 00:19:58,562
Is that the instrument
where you jerk off the air?
521
00:19:58,565 --> 00:20:00,264
- Yeah, that's the one.
- Sick.
522
00:20:00,266 --> 00:20:02,032
And the gas smell was farts?
523
00:20:02,068 --> 00:20:03,701
Oh, no, it was natural gas.
524
00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:05,036
Turns out Jimmy's scorned ex-wife
525
00:20:05,171 --> 00:20:06,603
was gonna blow the place to bits.
526
00:20:06,639 --> 00:20:07,648
Damn!
527
00:20:07,674 --> 00:20:09,974
Hate to see a negative
cliché confirmed.
528
00:20:09,976 --> 00:20:12,176
Sounds like you and Gwen
had a traumatic experience.
529
00:20:12,178 --> 00:20:13,343
We sure did.
530
00:20:13,379 --> 00:20:15,980
But you know what they
say about trauma...
531
00:20:15,982 --> 00:20:17,381
It brings people together.
532
00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:20,784
You said it, buddy.
533
00:20:24,591 --> 00:20:26,390
Whoa-oa-oa-oa-oa!
534
00:20:27,860 --> 00:20:30,260
Ahh-hh-hh-hh-hh!
535
00:20:30,296 --> 00:20:33,930
"Selcouth": Strange, unusual. Yeah.
536
00:20:33,967 --> 00:20:37,101
"Pulchritudinous": Physically beautiful.
Like me.
537
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:38,602
Hey, man.
538
00:20:38,638 --> 00:20:41,339
Uh, I'd like to sell these.
539
00:20:41,474 --> 00:20:43,107
Um, don't tell Gwen.
540
00:20:43,176 --> 00:20:44,342
Why not?
541
00:20:44,477 --> 00:20:45,743
Well, she got 'em for me,
542
00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:46,811
which is really, really sweet,
543
00:20:46,946 --> 00:20:48,912
I just hate the colour, you know?
544
00:20:51,284 --> 00:20:53,083
Give you 20 bucks. Not a penny more.
545
00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:54,284
These skis are ponderous.
546
00:20:55,692 --> 00:20:58,822
- What the hell does that mean?
- It means bunglesome or incommodious.
547
00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:03,960
Fuck you, man.
548
00:21:06,499 --> 00:21:08,432
"Libatory"...
549
00:21:08,434 --> 00:21:10,267
Oh, that's good.
550
00:21:10,270 --> 00:21:12,103
"Badmash": A hooligan.
551
00:21:12,105 --> 00:21:14,505
Hmm, quite a badmash!
552
00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:17,441
"Humdudgeon":
An imaginary illness or pain.
553
00:21:17,510 --> 00:21:19,510
I don't have any of those.
554
00:21:19,512 --> 00:21:21,779
"Pizookie":
The original cast iron cookie.
555
00:21:21,848 --> 00:21:22,913
Okay, obviously.
556
00:21:22,915 --> 00:21:27,651
"Sternutator":
An agent that causes sneezes.
557
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:30,854
"Pantagruelian": Enormous.
558
00:21:30,890 --> 00:21:34,058
My Goodness,
Keeran is a pantagruelian horn dog.
559
00:21:34,127 --> 00:21:36,560
"Scofflaw": A person who flouts the law.
560
00:21:36,562 --> 00:21:37,728
Ooh, "flouts" is good too.
40062
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