Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,391 --> 00:00:05,478
So anyway, I see him
every day in the cafeteria,
2
00:00:05,484 --> 00:00:08,131
and I thought, screw it, I'm
just gonna give him my number.
3
00:00:10,500 --> 00:00:12,591
He seemed like a sweet guy.
4
00:00:12,597 --> 00:00:16,052
I mean, he drives a Prius with
an "I'm With Her" bumper sticker.
5
00:00:17,494 --> 00:00:20,073
But it's been a week, and
I haven't heard from him,
6
00:00:20,079 --> 00:00:21,516
and I'm starting to wonder...
7
00:00:22,672 --> 00:00:24,267
Oh, for God's sake! What?!
8
00:00:24,273 --> 00:00:25,782
Nothing. It's not important.
9
00:00:25,788 --> 00:00:27,377
Then stop making that noise.
10
00:00:27,383 --> 00:00:28,667
Yeah, Christy's got another guy who's
11
00:00:28,672 --> 00:00:31,399
never gonna call and we're
trying to put a good face on it.
12
00:00:31,849 --> 00:00:33,209
He might still call.
13
00:00:33,215 --> 00:00:34,694
You bet he will.
14
00:00:38,588 --> 00:00:41,314
Bonnie, why don't you just
tell us what's buggin' you?
15
00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:43,714
- You really want to know?
- I really want you to stop going...
16
00:00:46,836 --> 00:00:51,242
We come to this restaurant a
minimum of three times a week...
17
00:00:51,244 --> 00:00:53,573
good times, bad times,
economy up, economy down,
18
00:00:53,579 --> 00:00:56,149
and we always get a booth.
And look where they put us:
19
00:00:56,155 --> 00:00:58,390
at a table downwind from the bathroom.
20
00:01:00,962 --> 00:01:02,254
Are you kidding?
21
00:01:02,260 --> 00:01:04,407
You interrupted my story
'cause we're at a table?
22
00:01:04,413 --> 00:01:05,629
What story?
23
00:01:05,635 --> 00:01:07,949
About the cafeteria guy
Christy's got no shot with.
24
00:01:13,487 --> 00:01:15,434
Oh, my God. I don't believe it.
25
00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:17,267
Hostess movin' us to a booth?
26
00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:24,481
Adam misses me and
wants to get together.
27
00:01:24,487 --> 00:01:25,687
Oh, that's great.
28
00:01:25,693 --> 00:01:27,358
- Oh, I'm so happy for you.
- Congratulations.
29
00:01:27,363 --> 00:01:30,059
You know, I could
call the cafeteria guy.
30
00:01:30,962 --> 00:01:34,583
I'm proud of you, Bonnie. You set
boundaries with this young man,
31
00:01:34,589 --> 00:01:37,378
you were patient, and look
at that, he's come around.
32
00:01:37,868 --> 00:01:41,034
Now you can slowly rebuild
a healthy relationship
33
00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:43,331
based on trust and communication,
34
00:01:43,337 --> 00:01:46,276
- work together towards a lov...
- She's gone, Marjorie.
35
00:01:47,084 --> 00:01:48,284
What?
36
00:01:48,506 --> 00:01:50,445
But that was some good stuff.
37
00:01:58,255 --> 00:02:03,943
Sync & Corrections by PetaG
www.addic7ed.com
38
00:02:14,940 --> 00:02:18,284
I guess they're doing okay. I
haven't seen them since last night.
39
00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:21,832
What do you think? They've
been banging each other silly.
40
00:02:22,245 --> 00:02:25,573
They've only come out for food,
Gatorade and nail clippers.
41
00:02:27,479 --> 00:02:30,132
Think about it, Marjorie. I had to.
42
00:02:31,346 --> 00:02:35,596
Are you kidding me?! We finally
get back together and you do this?!
43
00:02:35,602 --> 00:02:39,027
- Uh-oh. Trouble in paradise.
- It's no big deal!
44
00:02:39,033 --> 00:02:41,215
She said, "We finally get
back together and you do this?"
45
00:02:41,220 --> 00:02:42,720
Then he said, "It's no big deal."
46
00:02:42,722 --> 00:02:44,626
Lying next to me in bed
47
00:02:44,632 --> 00:02:47,878
and texting with your
ex-wife is a very big deal!
48
00:02:47,884 --> 00:02:49,909
She said, "Lying next to me in bed
49
00:02:49,915 --> 00:02:52,224
and texting with your
ex-wife is a very big deal."
50
00:02:52,230 --> 00:02:54,262
- Now what are you doing?!
- What do you think I'm doin'?!
51
00:02:54,267 --> 00:02:56,940
- I'm getting out of here!
- That's right, run! That's
52
00:02:56,946 --> 00:02:59,902
- your answer for everything! Run!
- Do you have any idea
53
00:02:59,908 --> 00:03:01,645
how offensive that is to me?
54
00:03:02,486 --> 00:03:05,296
Too many words to repeat.
I'll fill you in tomorrow.
55
00:03:05,302 --> 00:03:07,246
...not in the last twenty minutes.
56
00:03:07,505 --> 00:03:09,665
What is wrong with your mother?!
57
00:03:09,671 --> 00:03:11,189
Don't get me started.
58
00:03:11,864 --> 00:03:15,557
I live right above you. I can hear
everything... the sex, the fighting.
59
00:03:15,563 --> 00:03:18,353
It's like living above
a New Orleans cathouse!
60
00:03:18,998 --> 00:03:22,229
I'm sorry. I'll get 'em to quiet down.
61
00:03:22,235 --> 00:03:24,595
And I'm sure the other
neighbors can hear, too.
62
00:03:24,597 --> 00:03:25,898
We can!
63
00:03:27,804 --> 00:03:30,116
Don't worry. I'll take care of it.
64
00:03:30,186 --> 00:03:32,789
If you were younger,
I'd call Child Services.
65
00:03:33,671 --> 00:03:35,787
No, please don't go! I love you.
66
00:03:35,793 --> 00:03:37,921
I love you, too, but you make me crazy.
67
00:03:37,927 --> 00:03:40,147
You want crazy? How's this for crazy?
68
00:03:40,153 --> 00:03:41,401
Whoa!
69
00:03:43,427 --> 00:03:45,942
At least she can't yell
with her mouth full.
70
00:03:48,645 --> 00:03:51,613
Here, have a strawberry.
They're a natural aphrodisiac.
71
00:03:52,403 --> 00:03:53,660
- Really?
- Nah,
72
00:03:53,666 --> 00:03:55,896
I'm just trying to put a good spin
on it. They're about to go bad.
73
00:03:59,762 --> 00:04:02,457
- Morning.
- Morning, honey. How'd you sleep?
74
00:04:02,637 --> 00:04:05,466
In a fetal position with
five pillows over my head.
75
00:04:05,941 --> 00:04:07,857
Were we making too much noise?
76
00:04:07,863 --> 00:04:09,177
Seriously?
77
00:04:09,183 --> 00:04:11,557
Three neighbors came by to complain.
78
00:04:11,563 --> 00:04:13,555
Two of 'em thought we
were shooting a porno.
79
00:04:13,561 --> 00:04:15,709
One of 'em thought we
were slaughtering a goat.
80
00:04:16,516 --> 00:04:18,821
Ooh, I know what that noise was.
81
00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:22,103
Hey, now we got a name for
it: "slaughtering the goat."
82
00:04:24,023 --> 00:04:25,606
Sorry. Private joke.
83
00:04:25,608 --> 00:04:28,104
No, it wasn't remotely private.
84
00:04:28,573 --> 00:04:30,229
Probably wasn't even legal.
85
00:04:30,878 --> 00:04:32,496
Sorry again.
86
00:04:32,498 --> 00:04:35,824
For what it's worth, I'm glad
you guys are back together.
87
00:04:35,830 --> 00:04:39,505
Hey, we're fine as long as numbnuts
here doesn't text his ex-wife again.
88
00:04:39,511 --> 00:04:41,222
Oh, come on, let's not start this.
89
00:04:41,228 --> 00:04:42,840
I told you, she texted me.
90
00:04:42,842 --> 00:04:45,531
She needed help with the pilot
light on the water heater.
91
00:04:45,537 --> 00:04:47,673
Fine, but you still
haven't said you're sorry.
92
00:04:47,679 --> 00:04:49,095
Because I'm not!
93
00:04:49,101 --> 00:04:50,465
Oh, numbnuts.
94
00:04:51,289 --> 00:04:53,561
Okay, so just to be clear, I text a guy
95
00:04:53,567 --> 00:04:55,961
who I was just friends with and
that's an unforgivable offense,
96
00:04:55,966 --> 00:04:58,093
but it's okay for you
to text your ex-wife
97
00:04:58,099 --> 00:05:00,391
right after you slaughtered my goat.
98
00:05:01,327 --> 00:05:04,808
I'm running away and joining
the circus! Good-bye forever!
99
00:05:05,901 --> 00:05:09,629
Bonnie, if you must know,
I texted "I'm busy..."
100
00:05:09,870 --> 00:05:11,202
What are you doing here?
101
00:05:11,204 --> 00:05:13,933
I'm having my breakfast
and enjoying the show.
102
00:05:15,518 --> 00:05:17,541
But last night, you were all...
103
00:05:22,665 --> 00:05:24,161
That's a lot of fiber.
104
00:05:24,217 --> 00:05:26,527
You know, we hear things down here, too.
105
00:05:30,612 --> 00:05:32,317
Hi, I'm Jill. I'm an alcoholic.
106
00:05:32,323 --> 00:05:33,842
Hi, Jill.
107
00:05:34,049 --> 00:05:37,940
Okay, well, I got to be honest,
108
00:05:38,253 --> 00:05:40,830
I made a commitment
to be a foster parent,
109
00:05:40,836 --> 00:05:44,639
and now that it's getting
closer, I'm kind of scared.
110
00:05:45,070 --> 00:05:48,849
I'm just not sure I got what
it takes to be a good mom.
111
00:05:49,663 --> 00:05:52,687
I mean, I know how to take
a little girl shopping or...
112
00:05:52,693 --> 00:05:54,453
how to take a little boy...
113
00:05:54,835 --> 00:05:56,140
shopping.
114
00:05:57,054 --> 00:06:00,418
But what if I get a child that
doesn't listen or misbehaves?
115
00:06:00,420 --> 00:06:04,608
You know, a lot of these foster
kids have some serious issues.
116
00:06:05,021 --> 00:06:06,897
What if I can't discipline them?
117
00:06:07,224 --> 00:06:08,676
It's not like with my housekeeper,
118
00:06:08,678 --> 00:06:11,439
where I can just threaten
her with deportation, right?
119
00:06:13,220 --> 00:06:14,957
Unbelievable.
120
00:06:15,564 --> 00:06:17,979
You know, you really shouldn't
text during the meeting.
121
00:06:17,985 --> 00:06:20,983
Yeah, you really shouldn't have Ben
Franklin's haircut, but here we are.
122
00:06:22,475 --> 00:06:24,191
That's who it is.
123
00:06:26,572 --> 00:06:28,777
He's not officially divorced.
124
00:06:28,783 --> 00:06:31,532
Can you believe that?
He never said a word.
125
00:06:31,534 --> 00:06:33,582
Since when do you care
if a guy's divorced?
126
00:06:33,588 --> 00:06:36,737
Since I fell in love with
this paraplegic dickweed.
127
00:06:36,739 --> 00:06:38,906
- Okay, you're done.
- What are you doing?
128
00:06:38,908 --> 00:06:40,611
- You'll get it back after the meeting.
- Give it to me.
129
00:06:40,616 --> 00:06:42,469
- Wendy, catch.
- Give it.
130
00:06:42,475 --> 00:06:44,203
- Marjorie, here.
- Hey!
131
00:06:45,194 --> 00:06:47,559
You girls sit still and be quiet!
132
00:06:49,373 --> 00:06:51,574
Huh, look at that.
133
00:06:51,804 --> 00:06:53,337
I can be a mom.
134
00:06:57,540 --> 00:06:58,740
Psst.
135
00:06:59,205 --> 00:07:00,405
Psst.
136
00:07:14,622 --> 00:07:17,350
You are the least subtle person alive.
137
00:07:17,499 --> 00:07:19,510
Oh, I'm sorry, did I wake you?
138
00:07:20,412 --> 00:07:21,967
Just spill it.
139
00:07:21,973 --> 00:07:23,585
I was downstairs with Adam and...
140
00:07:23,591 --> 00:07:26,310
You're going to the bathroom while
I'm pouring my heart out to you?
141
00:07:26,316 --> 00:07:28,168
I don't pee through my ears.
142
00:07:32,124 --> 00:07:36,402
Well, I don't think I
can trust him anymore.
143
00:07:36,408 --> 00:07:38,037
- Why?
- I just found out he's
144
00:07:38,043 --> 00:07:39,843
seeing his ex-wife tomorrow.
145
00:07:39,849 --> 00:07:41,635
Well, at least he told you.
146
00:07:41,641 --> 00:07:44,316
Oh, grow up. He didn't tell
me. I broke into his phone.
147
00:07:45,042 --> 00:07:47,909
How'd you do that?
The FBI can't do that.
148
00:07:47,915 --> 00:07:51,177
It's easy. You just have sex
with him till he falls asleep.
149
00:07:51,183 --> 00:07:53,532
Then you press his thumb onto
the home button of his phone.
150
00:07:54,421 --> 00:07:55,906
What if he wakes up?
151
00:07:55,912 --> 00:07:58,002
You stick his thumb in
your mouth and start over.
152
00:08:02,499 --> 00:08:04,061
You don't wash your hands?
153
00:08:04,520 --> 00:08:06,056
I didn't touch anything.
154
00:08:08,332 --> 00:08:11,332
Anyway, he's seeing her tomorrow.
155
00:08:11,917 --> 00:08:13,347
Why don't you ask him about it?
156
00:08:13,353 --> 00:08:16,201
'Cause then he'll know I broke into
his phone and won't trust me anymore.
157
00:08:16,206 --> 00:08:18,646
- He shouldn't.
- Yeah, but he doesn't know that.
158
00:08:20,011 --> 00:08:22,732
Maybe this relationship
with Adam isn't good for you.
159
00:08:22,738 --> 00:08:26,564
You guys only do two things together,
and both of them disturb the neighbors.
160
00:08:26,566 --> 00:08:30,568
Well, Solitary Sue, some people
call that being in a relationship.
161
00:08:30,570 --> 00:08:33,144
Okay, Bipolar Betty.
162
00:08:33,356 --> 00:08:35,189
But you're not "some people."
163
00:08:35,191 --> 00:08:37,310
You can't keep swinging from high to low
164
00:08:37,316 --> 00:08:39,109
without something bad happening.
165
00:08:39,525 --> 00:08:41,388
I'm worried you're gonna drink.
166
00:08:43,035 --> 00:08:45,242
I want you to know I hear ya.
167
00:08:46,162 --> 00:08:47,467
Good.
168
00:08:48,162 --> 00:08:49,637
So what are you gonna do?
169
00:08:49,748 --> 00:08:52,633
Well, I guess if I'm really
committed to this relationship,
170
00:08:52,639 --> 00:08:54,537
I'm gonna have to hack into his e-mail.
171
00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:58,262
Yeah. Sounds like you got this.
172
00:08:58,264 --> 00:09:01,009
Thanks, baby. You always
bring me back down to Earth.
173
00:09:01,713 --> 00:09:03,927
- Good night.
- Good night.
174
00:09:08,330 --> 00:09:11,792
Oh, God, that's why I woke
up with my thumb in her mouth.
175
00:09:21,995 --> 00:09:24,898
Here you go. Over easy,
just the way you like 'em.
176
00:09:24,904 --> 00:09:28,274
Thanks. You were really
something last night.
177
00:09:28,280 --> 00:09:31,705
Aw, I just do those things
to show how much I love you.
178
00:09:31,711 --> 00:09:34,525
Really? Feels like you do
them just to put me to sleep.
179
00:09:35,510 --> 00:09:36,965
I could have two reasons.
180
00:09:38,986 --> 00:09:40,186
So...
181
00:09:41,478 --> 00:09:42,784
What you got going today?
182
00:09:42,790 --> 00:09:44,503
Actually, I'm gonna see my ex-wife
183
00:09:44,509 --> 00:09:45,856
- for lunch.
- Liar!
184
00:09:48,564 --> 00:09:49,968
Wait. What?
185
00:09:50,853 --> 00:09:53,423
Uh, um, she's coming over with my dog,
186
00:09:53,429 --> 00:09:55,463
and we got some stuff to talk about.
187
00:09:55,469 --> 00:09:57,791
Well, why didn't you tell me last night?
188
00:09:57,797 --> 00:10:00,565
'Cause you were doing those
things, and I'm not stupid.
189
00:10:01,890 --> 00:10:04,939
Okay, just so we're clear.
190
00:10:04,945 --> 00:10:07,902
Your ex-wife, who you're
not really divorced from,
191
00:10:07,908 --> 00:10:10,152
is coming over to
chat, and there's a dog.
192
00:10:10,158 --> 00:10:11,980
Okay, first of all, we're not divorced
193
00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:14,464
because she hasn't gotten
around to signing the papers,
194
00:10:14,470 --> 00:10:16,035
and I told you about my dog.
195
00:10:16,041 --> 00:10:18,188
- Yeah, yeah, Son of Sam.
- Samson.
196
00:10:18,946 --> 00:10:21,198
Close enough. And that's another thing.
197
00:10:21,204 --> 00:10:23,690
If it's your dog, how
come he lives with her?
198
00:10:23,696 --> 00:10:25,625
Uh, because he's really
old, and it's hard for me
199
00:10:25,631 --> 00:10:27,306
to take care of him in this thing.
200
00:10:30,313 --> 00:10:31,801
That checks out.
201
00:10:33,971 --> 00:10:35,860
But why the chitchat?
202
00:10:35,932 --> 00:10:40,020
We have some investment property
that we co-own. Might be time to sell.
203
00:10:40,026 --> 00:10:42,393
Wow, you just have
answers for everything.
204
00:10:42,395 --> 00:10:46,498
Oh, just relax, Bonnie. After
last night, I couldn't cheat on you
205
00:10:46,504 --> 00:10:49,855
if Angelina Jolie was buck naked
and lowered onto me by ropes.
206
00:10:50,590 --> 00:10:53,174
Uh-huh. So with a little
rest and a pulley system,
207
00:10:53,180 --> 00:10:55,314
you'd take a whack at Angelina Jolie?
208
00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:57,364
Yes! And so would you!
209
00:10:58,596 --> 00:11:02,011
Once again, you have
answers for everything!
210
00:11:03,777 --> 00:11:06,699
Oh, my God, why do I love her?!
211
00:11:07,605 --> 00:11:09,792
We don't know!
212
00:11:13,511 --> 00:11:16,764
So, as we speak, my
boyfriend and his semi ex-wife
213
00:11:16,770 --> 00:11:19,030
are having a romantic
lunch in his apartment.
214
00:11:19,036 --> 00:11:20,702
With his very old dog.
215
00:11:20,708 --> 00:11:23,344
Aw, Adam has a dog? What kind?
216
00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:25,618
I think it's a "Shut the
hell up, Wendy" doodle.
217
00:11:29,934 --> 00:11:33,333
The point is, this broad's
plotting to get him back.
218
00:11:33,339 --> 00:11:34,859
Ex-wives'll do that.
219
00:11:34,933 --> 00:11:38,154
They'll get their boobs redone,
cook up a couple of steaks,
220
00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:40,668
invite the guy over for
a little night swimmin'.
221
00:11:43,511 --> 00:11:46,085
Or stuff of that nature.
222
00:11:49,199 --> 00:11:51,677
Bonnie, if there's any
hope for you and Adam,
223
00:11:51,683 --> 00:11:53,005
you got to learn to trust him.
224
00:11:53,011 --> 00:11:55,115
Oh, I trust him. It's
her I'm worried about.
225
00:11:55,121 --> 00:11:57,154
See right there, that's your problem.
226
00:11:57,156 --> 00:12:01,448
Tryin' to control people, places and
things you can't do anything about.
227
00:12:01,827 --> 00:12:04,304
What you need to do is write down a list
228
00:12:04,310 --> 00:12:06,319
of all your fears, and
then just turn them over
229
00:12:06,325 --> 00:12:08,976
- to your higher power, who's...
- Marjorie, she's gone again.
230
00:12:10,586 --> 00:12:13,751
But again, dynamite stuff.
231
00:12:18,691 --> 00:12:20,310
Can I help you?
232
00:12:21,675 --> 00:12:24,231
Oh. Hi.
233
00:12:25,269 --> 00:12:28,093
Are you Danielle Janikowski?
234
00:12:28,099 --> 00:12:30,104
I am. And you are?
235
00:12:31,489 --> 00:12:32,740
Bonnie Plunkett.
236
00:12:32,742 --> 00:12:35,025
Oh, great.
237
00:12:37,479 --> 00:12:39,921
Well, it appears he has a type.
238
00:12:39,927 --> 00:12:42,176
Oh. Or you and I do.
239
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:45,325
Okay.
240
00:12:45,331 --> 00:12:47,209
So, what brings you by?
241
00:12:47,215 --> 00:12:51,213
An-and just so you know, I've
already pressed nine-one on my phone.
242
00:12:51,549 --> 00:12:55,316
Relax. If I wanted to rough you
up, I would have waited inside.
243
00:12:55,322 --> 00:12:57,453
You've got great taste
in furniture, by the way.
244
00:12:58,605 --> 00:12:59,850
You broke in?
245
00:12:59,852 --> 00:13:01,131
I had to tinkle.
246
00:13:01,559 --> 00:13:03,160
And we need to talk.
247
00:13:03,166 --> 00:13:05,542
- I have nothing to say to you.
- I just want to know if
248
00:13:05,548 --> 00:13:08,985
- you're trying to get back with Adam.
- That is really none of your business.
249
00:13:08,991 --> 00:13:10,595
So, yes.
250
00:13:10,899 --> 00:13:14,831
- Okay, are we done?
- Oh, we're just getting started.
251
00:13:15,451 --> 00:13:18,082
Actually, I only have one more question,
252
00:13:18,088 --> 00:13:19,703
so, yeah, we're almost done.
253
00:13:21,120 --> 00:13:24,051
- Why'd you two break up?
- Well, why don't you ask him?
254
00:13:24,057 --> 00:13:26,836
Because I respect the boundaries
of people I care about.
255
00:13:27,479 --> 00:13:30,431
- You just broke into my house.
- Yeah, I don't care about you.
256
00:13:32,213 --> 00:13:33,729
Wow.
257
00:13:34,104 --> 00:13:36,809
- You really love him, don't you?
- Of course I do.
258
00:13:36,815 --> 00:13:40,203
Why else would I risk squeezing through
your doggy door with a full bladder?
259
00:13:42,068 --> 00:13:44,445
It is possible that you're just insane.
260
00:13:44,451 --> 00:13:46,691
It is. Keep that in mind.
261
00:13:48,184 --> 00:13:50,562
So, what happened? He cheat on you?
262
00:13:50,568 --> 00:13:52,592
- No.
- You cheat on him?
263
00:13:53,554 --> 00:13:56,551
- What did he tell you?
- Not as much as you just did.
264
00:13:58,652 --> 00:14:01,207
- Okay, now are we done?
- Almost.
265
00:14:01,213 --> 00:14:03,019
Just to keep things on the up and up...
266
00:14:03,198 --> 00:14:06,876
here's a dollar. While I was waiting,
I made myself an English muffin.
267
00:14:11,808 --> 00:14:13,949
Oh, God help me, I like her.
268
00:14:20,105 --> 00:14:23,557
- Hey, where you been?
- I went to see Adam's ex-wife.
269
00:14:23,563 --> 00:14:24,846
I'm out.
270
00:14:24,852 --> 00:14:26,954
Calm down. Nobody got hurt.
271
00:14:27,266 --> 00:14:28,549
What happened?
272
00:14:28,555 --> 00:14:30,869
She cheated on him.
That's why they broke up.
273
00:14:30,875 --> 00:14:32,643
- Oh, God.
- Mm-hmm.
274
00:14:32,645 --> 00:14:36,146
And I'm thinking that's why he
flipped out when that guy kissed me.
275
00:14:37,069 --> 00:14:38,483
Makes sense.
276
00:14:38,489 --> 00:14:40,250
She trying to get
back together with him?
277
00:14:40,256 --> 00:14:43,807
Oh, yeah. Explains why she
hasn't signed the divorce papers.
278
00:14:44,264 --> 00:14:45,739
But she'll watch her step.
279
00:14:46,232 --> 00:14:49,111
She knows that I know where
she keeps her English muffins.
280
00:14:50,819 --> 00:14:52,432
I'm sorry. What?
281
00:14:54,530 --> 00:14:55,757
Hang on.
282
00:14:56,792 --> 00:14:57,997
It's Adam.
283
00:14:58,003 --> 00:15:00,087
"Come outside. Bring a bowl of water."
284
00:15:00,581 --> 00:15:01,862
What does that mean?
285
00:15:01,868 --> 00:15:04,095
What does "English muffins" mean?
286
00:15:05,931 --> 00:15:08,381
And why did you have
my thumb in your mouth?
287
00:15:14,642 --> 00:15:16,035
Oh.
288
00:15:16,041 --> 00:15:18,626
I thought it was about time you two met.
289
00:15:18,632 --> 00:15:22,076
Samson, this is the crazy
woman I was telling you about.
290
00:15:23,079 --> 00:15:25,051
Hello, Samson.
291
00:15:25,057 --> 00:15:26,640
Here you go.
292
00:15:27,116 --> 00:15:28,330
Oh.
293
00:15:28,336 --> 00:15:31,026
- He's so sweet.
- Yeah, he sure is.
294
00:15:31,032 --> 00:15:33,262
We've been buddies for about 14 years.
295
00:15:33,268 --> 00:15:36,145
Wow. So he's, like, 800 in dog years?
296
00:15:37,316 --> 00:15:39,082
Something like that.
297
00:15:39,088 --> 00:15:40,472
When I ended up in this chair,
298
00:15:40,478 --> 00:15:43,090
he was the only one that
didn't look at me differently.
299
00:15:44,891 --> 00:15:47,187
Breaks my heart that I
can't take care of him now.
300
00:15:47,863 --> 00:15:49,287
I get it.
301
00:15:50,386 --> 00:15:54,503
We were about to go on a very slow walk.
302
00:15:54,944 --> 00:15:56,490
Maybe you'd like to come?
303
00:15:57,003 --> 00:15:58,593
I'd be honored.
304
00:16:00,895 --> 00:16:03,005
Ah, hang on, let him finish.
305
00:16:05,145 --> 00:16:07,894
You know, I used to
drink vodka like that.
306
00:16:08,874 --> 00:16:12,327
- That fast?
- No, lying on the floor out of a bowl.
307
00:16:13,870 --> 00:16:16,236
- Hmm.
- All right, I'm cutting you off.
308
00:16:16,242 --> 00:16:17,915
Yeah, come on, boy.
309
00:16:17,917 --> 00:16:20,497
Come on. Come on.
310
00:16:20,503 --> 00:16:22,122
Oh, by the way, next time you think
311
00:16:22,128 --> 00:16:23,942
of surprising my ex-wife, keep in mind
312
00:16:23,948 --> 00:16:26,321
that she was a small-arms
instructor in the Army.
313
00:16:26,327 --> 00:16:28,350
- Ha-ha, very funny.
- Not a joke.
314
00:16:28,356 --> 00:16:29,986
She can shoot a cigarette
out of your mouth
315
00:16:29,991 --> 00:16:31,918
- at 50 feet.
- Really?
316
00:16:31,924 --> 00:16:33,636
That's how she got me to quit smokin'.
317
00:16:48,237 --> 00:16:50,689
When you said slow walk,
you weren't kiddin'.
318
00:16:52,124 --> 00:16:55,374
Yeah, the leash is really
a formality at this point.
319
00:16:56,606 --> 00:16:58,803
So, how'd you guys meet?
320
00:16:58,809 --> 00:17:02,045
Actually, I found him in a
box on the side of the road.
321
00:17:02,051 --> 00:17:03,295
He was just a puppy.
322
00:17:03,301 --> 00:17:05,827
Aw, so you rescued him?
323
00:17:05,833 --> 00:17:08,665
Mm, he kind of rescued me.
324
00:17:12,728 --> 00:17:15,013
Okay, I think we're done walkin'.
325
00:17:15,867 --> 00:17:17,330
So, what do we do?
326
00:17:17,336 --> 00:17:19,164
We hang out till he gets up.
327
00:17:19,902 --> 00:17:21,747
Sounds good.
328
00:17:22,262 --> 00:17:23,557
Ooh.
329
00:17:24,858 --> 00:17:26,391
I think he likes me.
330
00:17:26,397 --> 00:17:28,364
I think he likes you, too.
331
00:17:30,971 --> 00:17:35,183
You know, if you wanted to spend
a little more time with him,
332
00:17:35,189 --> 00:17:37,386
he could stay with
me every now and then.
333
00:17:37,392 --> 00:17:39,567
You sure about that? He's a lot of work.
334
00:17:39,573 --> 00:17:42,626
He's got arthritis, he's
incontinent, he's half-deaf.
335
00:17:42,632 --> 00:17:45,657
That's okay. I promised Christy
a dog about 30 years ago.
336
00:17:45,663 --> 00:17:47,080
I hate to disappoint her.
337
00:17:48,296 --> 00:17:51,225
So this has nothing to do with
keeping me away from Danielle?
338
00:17:51,231 --> 00:17:52,563
Oh, please.
339
00:17:53,059 --> 00:17:54,748
Who's your new mommy?
340
00:17:54,950 --> 00:17:56,752
I'm your new mommy.
341
00:17:58,043 --> 00:17:59,476
Can you hear me?
342
00:18:03,625 --> 00:18:08,625
Sync & Corrections by PetaG
www.addic7ed.com
26510
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof