Original subtitles

(lively traditional Spanish music)

- I checked your bank statements, didn't I?

That's how I know! - You couldn't have,

we don't get the bank statement till the end of the month!

- Do you realise we're on the verge of bankruptcy?

- Am I not allowed to spend at least a little bit of money

on myself occasionally, just so you could come here tonight,

how was I gonna pay for this, how was I gonna do anything?

Nothing, I could have done anything!

- Alright, will you keep your voice down?

We're in a public place.

Anyway, you might like to know

I went to see the bank manager this morning

and I got photocopies of all your statements,

that's how I know. - You bastard!

- Well that's it, I put a freeze on everything,

no more money!

- Well, screw you!

- Good evening, Fiona.

(dog barking in distance)

(mellow orchestral music)

(handcart squeaking)

(muffled traditional Spanish music)

(dog barking in distance)

(lively traditional Spanish music)

(regular squeaking)

(dog barking in distance)

(light haunting music)

- Goodnight, thank you.

(dog barking in distance)

(foliage rustling nearby)

- Hello?

Hello?

(dog barking)

(quiet background chattering)

(light haunting music)

(footsteps approaching)

(screaming)

(birds twittering)

- Monty!

Come on, Monty.

- Cassie?

Surely you must remember her, Cassie Woods.

- [Joyce] No, I don't think I do.

- Well, her parents ran Piper's Cross Farm.

- Oh?

- And there was her brother, Noel,

a couple of years younger than her, you liked him.

- Did I? - Yes,

you always said he was so polite.

Okay, what about Rachel?

- Hello, Cully. - Hi, Dad.

- To what do we owe the honour?

- Oh, I was, I've just popped by to let you and Mum know

that I'm thinking of organising a reunion.

- Tom. - Yeah.

- Here. - Thank you.

What sort of reunion is that then?

- For old school friends.

There were four of us, me, Cassie, Rachel and Lynn Morris.

- I seem to remember Lynn Morris,

didn't she used to bully you?

- When?

- When you were at middle school.

- No.

No, that was just me being over sensitive.

By the time we got to sixth form,

the four of us were the best of friends.

- No, I'm sorry love, I don't have time.

- Anyway, we made a vow in those days,

that in 10 years' time we'd all meet up and celebrate,

so I thought I'd organise something.

- People change, Cully.

They may not be the same as you remember them.

- I realise that.

- So when did you last see these friends of yours?

- Not since the day we left school?

(crows cawing)

(haunting orchestral music)

- Monty.

Come on, Monty.

Monty.

- It's not a problem, Dad,

because I know they all still live

in the Midsomer Mallow area, I've checked.

Apparently Lynn's married.

What's the rush?

- Troy's replacement arrives today fresh from London,

I thought I'd make a good impression, you know,

by being there to greet him. - What's he like?

- I don't know, I've never met the man.

(haunting orchestral music)

(crows cawing)

(siren wailing in distance)

- Morning, Alan.

- Morning, sir.

- D.S. Scott arrived yet, has he?

- Who? - Detective Sergeant Scott,

the lucky boy who's been transferred to us from the Met.

- I haven't seen him, sir.

- Have you not, what, no message at all?

- No, sir.

- Oh. (phone ringing)

Barnaby.

(traffic rumbling quietly)

- Change.

- Are you by any chance Detective Sergeant Scott?

- Yeah, why?

- I'm D.C.I. Barnaby.

(thudding) - Uh!

Yes, sir.

- And we're in a hurry, aren't we?

- Right, sir.

(siren wailing nearby)

(melodic orchestral music)

I missed the fast train,

then there were troubles on the line,

I had to wait an hour and a half for a connection.

- Have you ever been to this part of the world before?

- No, sir.

It's nice scenery, if you like that sort of thing.

(crows cawing)

(police radio broadcasting quietly)

- Have you got somewhere to stay?

- Not yet, sir, no, I'll have a look around.

- What about the section house?

- No, thanks, it's not really my style.

What do they call this place anyway?

- This place is called Chainey's Field, it's common land,

it's been like this for hundreds of years,

even got a mention in the Domesday Book.

- That's amazing.

(melancholic orchestral music)

- Her name's Fiona Thompson.

Husband reported her missing,

she hasn't been seen since last night.

(sombre orchestral music)

- By the way, welcome to Midsomer.

(door opening) - Donald!

Shirley,

it's Fiona Thompson,

I found one of her shoes, so I phoned the police.

- Found one of her shoes?

- Yes, the shoes she wore last night.

It was in Chainey's Field.

We should never have done it,

we should never have wished her dead.

- What on Earth are you talking about?

- What is it, Mary, tell us?

- Because she is dead.

She's been murdered.

(birds twittering)

- [Gary] I thought she'd spent the night in the spare room.

It was only in the morning that I realised

she hadn't left for work, her car keys were still here.

- [Barnaby] Where did she work, Mr. Thompson?

- Um, Causton College, she's a, she was a secretary there.

(door opening)

She liked it there, she was happy.

- I take it that you and your wife

were out together last night, sir?

- Yes, but she left early, we were at the Spanish evening.

- I'm sorry, the what?

- In the village hall,

the Midsomer Mallow Residents' Association,

they're fond of their so called theme evenings.

- Are you a member of this Residents' Association, sir?

- No, no, Fiona is,

was.

- We're very sorry to have to ask you

all these questions so soon, sir,

but they are important.

Could you tell us why your wife left early?

- (sighing) We had a row.

- About what?

- Does it really matter?

- I'm afraid so, yes, sir.

- Alright then, it was about money.

Fiona was always spending too much money

and she, she didn't need to buy that Spanish dress,

it cost a fortune.

Where was she found?

- Not very far away in Chainey's Field.

- Chainey's Field, why was she there?

- [Daniel] What about the other members

of the Residents Association, Mr. Thompson?

- What about them?

- Well, did your wife get on with them?

- The members of the Midsomer Mallow Residents' Association

never get on with each other, how could they?

They don't even like each other.

(police radio broadcasting quietly)

- Did I say something wrong, sir?

- It's not what you said, it's how you said it.

- Tom,

bloodstains.

So she was killed here,

then her body must have been dragged

onto the wasteland down the road

and I'd say we're looking for a knife

with a long, thin blade.

So what was she doing, dressed up like a Christmas tree?

- She'd been out to a Spanish evening, George.

- Ah, that probably explains the red rose, nice touch.

John.

- What do you mean, nice touch?

- Well, she'd hardly be walking home

with it in her mouth, would she?

Someone with an odd sense of humour maybe?

(light Spanish guitar music)

- Mary found one of her shoes?

- Yes.

- Don't be silly,

Mary never walks her dog in Chainey's Field,

that would be far too energetic for her.

- Well, she was there this morning, ask her.

- Oh, I shall.

- Look, what does it matter where the shoe was found?

The poor woman is dead.

- I realise that, Donald and as a fellow villager

and committee member, I shall grieve,

don't you worry about that,

but I shan't grieve for long.

- I was walking on the hill

and then Monty, that's my dog,

he wanted to go down through Chainey's Field.

That's when I found the shoe.

- What can you tell us about Fiona Thompson?

- She wasn't a very nice person.

- In what way?

- She liked to argue, she was always arguing.

She's probably arguing with her Maker right now.

Oh, it's the police, they want to talk to us.

- Please, come in.

- [Mary] Shirley is the secretary

of the Residents' Association

and Donald is a long-standing member of the committee.

- We've been told that Fiona and her husband

were having an argument here last night,

just before she left?

- That's right.

- Yes, did you hear what was said

in this particular argument?

- No, I couldn't hear much, not with the band playing.

- And I was in the back room most of the time.

- So you couldn't hear if any threats were being made?

- [Shirley] By whom?

- Mr. Thompson.

- No,

but he looked angry.

- Charles threatened her once or twice.

- He's always threatening people.

- Said he'd get her thrown off the committee.

- Then he should have done it, shouldn't he?

- Sorry, who's Charles?

- Charles Rust, he's our committee chairman.

- He used to be the local G.P.

Now I know this may seem unkind, Chief Inspector,

but I hope the murder won't affect any of our other events,

we have such a lot planned.

- You know, I think I must have been the last one here

to see her alive.

- But one.

- I was here having a cigarette, she came storming out.

I said goodnight to her, but she didn't answer,

she just walked away.

- Did you see anyone else?

- No.

Charles came out for a while to check on the car park,

but I think he went back in.

- Did you hear anything?

- I heard a noise.

- What sort of noise?

- Well, it was odd, it was a kind of squeaking noise.

(light haunting music)

It was out there in the dark.

(gate creaking)

- Mr. Charles Rust?

- Yes?

- Morning, sir, I'm Detective Chief Inspector Barnaby.

- Oh yes, I know who you are,

the news has filtered through.

- Could you tell me please, sir,

when did you last see Fiona Thompson?

- It was last night during the Spanish evening.

- [Tom] Did you see her leave the village hall?

- No.

- You see, I was told that you were outside,

when she left the building.

- Well, I may have checked the car park a couple of times,

but I didn't see her leave.

I hate to speak ill of the dead,

but it seems ironic that our dear little Fiona

should end her days in Chainey's Field.

- Why is that?

- She hated the sight of the place, she wanted it tidied up.

(wheelbarrow wheel squeaking)

(melodic haunting music)

(cockerel crowing)

- Cully Barnaby of all people!

How are you, where are you?

- I'm in Causton.

Oh Cassie, it's so good to talk to you after all this time,

it really is, so what have you been doing with yourself?

- Mum and Dad retired, left me in charge of the farm.

- Oh that's fantastic, that's what you always wanted

and how's that young brother of yours?

- Oh, he's not so young anymore, still knocking around.

- Noel's still there? (door opening)

You mean he never left home?

- [Cassie] If you've been in Causton,

why haven't I seen you? (door closing)

- Oh, I've been in London mostly, Cassie,

but um, it's good to be back in Midsomer.

- Joyce,

this is my new colleague, Daniel Scott,

Daniel Scott, Joyce Barnaby.

- Hello.

- Nice to meet you, Mrs. Barnaby and you surprise me,

you don't look anything like a policeman's wife.

- Oh, why not?

- You don't have any worry lines.

- What a nice thing to say.

- Ah, he's got nowhere to stay for the time being,

so I'm going to check out a few B&Bs.

If he'd caught the right train this morning,

that would have helped.

- Could you talk to Lynn as well?

Sorry Cassie, just a second.

Yes? - The phone book.

- Oh, sorry.

Here.

Dad, Dad, who's your new friend?

- My new friend is Troy's replacement.

- Really?

- Really.

And it may surprise you to learn,

you're not at all like a policeman's daughter.

- Forget about a B&B, he looks exhausted.

It's just for one night, Tom, (groaning)

and the spare room's free.

- Look, Joyce, this is my home.

It's also my own free time, I have very little of that.

Apart from which, I don't even know the man.

- Then get to know him.

(light melodic orchestral music)

- Noel?

You wouldn't believe who I've just been talking to.

- Who?

- Cully, she rang out of the blue.

- Little Cully Barnaby?

- Yeah, she wants to meet up with me and Lynn.

- Like old times. - Yeah.

So what are we having?

- Pasta.

- Mm, lovely.

You'd make someone a good wife, do you know that?

She also wants to meet up with Rachel.

- Tricky.

- Yeah.

(birds twittering)

(doorbell ringing)

- Lynn!

(doorbell ringing)

Lynn!

(doorbell ringing)

Why the hell did you double-lock the door?

- Where have you been?

- Ah, I would have been earlier, the traffic was bad.

What's the matter?

- You mean you didn't see any police cars?

- Why, what's happened?

- It's Fiona Thompson, someone's killed her.

- Hm.

(children playing)

- How about this?

One bedroom flat, allocated parking, quiet street.

- No, I like a bit of noise.

Where's your flat then?

- Other side of town, I like a bit of quiet.

Well, you've got my mobile number,

so if you need to know anything else about the area,

just give me a call.

- I will, thank you.

(car horn tooting)

- We've just had a call,

Gary Thompson would like to talk to us.

- What do you reckon, sir, confession?

- It came to me last night.

I couldn't sleep, so I lay awake trying to work out

who could possibly want to harm her.

I'm afraid Fiona was very good at making enemies.

- Was Charles Rust one of them?

- Yes, in fact she upset most of the committee members,

she liked to speak her mind, you see.

But that's not a reason to kill someone, is it?

And then I remembered the odd job man.

- When was this? - It was about a week ago.

He wanted to know if there were any jobs,

that needed doing around the house

and when she said no he became angry,

now she said that he threatened her.

- Do you know his name?

- No.

- Or where he lives?

- He has this old wooden handcart that he pushes around.

Now the last time that I saw him,

he was doing some work up at the Spearmans',

they own Grove House.

- What sort of odd jobs does the man do?

- I always told Fiona not to open the door

to people that she wasn't sure of.

- Mr. Thompson, what sort of odd jobs?

(light melodic orchestral music)

- Well, he cleans windows and he sharpens knives.

(doorbell ringing)

- [Lynn] Matthew, can you get that, I'm getting ready.

(doorbell ringing)

- And I'm busy!

Yes, what do you want? - Mr. Spearman?

- Yes. - Good morning to you, sir.

I'm Detective Chief Inspector Barnaby

and this is Detective Sergeant Scott.

- Hm. - Thank you.

We're making inquiries about the death

of one of your neighbours, sir.

- Yes, it's terrible news, but how can we help?

- May we come in?

- Yep. - Thank you.

- [Lynn] Who is it, Matthew?

- It's the police, they're asking about Fiona Thompson.

- Please hurry up and catch whoever did it.

- Ah, don't worry, we will.

- You see, Matthew's only here three or four days a week,

I'm on my own the rest of the time.

- I stay in London when things are busy,

we have a flat close to my office.

- And were you in London the night before last, sir?

- No, we were at home together,

but we wouldn't have seen anything.

- Why not? - Because whenever they have

one of their famous theme evenings in the village hall,

I turn the music up.

- And I go to bed early. - It's his age.

- Thank you.

- It was a joke.

- So I take it neither of you

are members of the Residents' Association?

- [Lynn] Matthew was once.

- But not for long, I couldn't stand the people running it.

I thought it would be something for me to do

in the long winter evenings when Lynn was in New Zealand.

- I was visiting my mother,

she emigrated there and re-married,

I went over for the wedding.

I have to go. - Right.

- Ah, before you do, if you didn't see anything that night,

did you hear anything?

- Only their pathetic Spanish music.

- You didn't hear a squeaking sound?

- A what?

- Like something being wheeled through the streets.

- No.

- We understand you employ an odd job man,

wheels his stuff around in a handcart.

- That freak?

- Now I hired him just the once,

he was supposed to clean the windows.

- What's his name?

- Never asked.

- Did he threaten either of you?

- He got a bit bolshy with me, when I refused to pay him.

(cow mooing)

(light melodic orchestral music)

(car approaching)

- Cully!

Oh, don't tell me it's been 10 years, it can't be.

- It is, Cassie, almost to the day.

- God, it's crazy, where the hell does time go?

- Look at you though, you've hardly changed at all,

you look so well.

- It's all this fresh air and I behave myself.

- Oh, I don't believe you. - It's true,

no longer the wild one, not these days,

not with the farm to run. - What, are there no men

in your life? - With the hours I keep?

Early to bed, early to rise, they can't handle that.

- Hey!

- [Cully] Noel, it's so good to see you.

- Dear Cully, after all these years.

(cow mooing)

- So Lynn's married?

- Yes. - What's he like?

- He's older than her. - Some sort of businessman.

- And he's got no sense of humour.

- Any children?

- No.

- What about Rachel, how is she, what's she been doing?

- For God's sake, Cassie!

Don't you ever clean up around here?

- It's a farmyard, Lynn.

- That's no excuse.

Cully, come and see me.

So why didn't we meet at my house?

At least it's civilised.

- Oh, I wanted to see the farm again.

- Now the last time I saw you, you were going to be a vet,

did that ever happen?

- No, I've been acting, but jobs don't come that easy,

so I've been temping, what about you?

Last time I saw you, you were determined to marry for money.

- At that age? - Yes.

- Well, I've done it.

Right, you've seen the farm and I need cheering up,

so let's all go into the village.

(quiet background chattering)

- So Rachel still lives here in Midsomer Mallow?

- Yes, she rents a cottage just on the edge of the village.

- Is she on the phone? - No.

- Well, how often do you see her?

- We don't see that much of her, not these days.

- Why not?

- She keeps herself to herself.

- I don't understand.

- Cully, we're talking about 10 years ago,

we're not the kids we were.

- So what is it?

What's the matter?

- Three years ago she went to stay in London for a while,

no one knew why, she kept it a secret.

The truth is she went there to have a baby, a daughter.

- Well, that's great, what's wrong with that?

Who's the father?

- Wouldn't we all like to know?

- Well, you know your village,

surely you must be able to put two and two together?

- Tried it, it didn't work.

- Has she got her daughter with her?

- Yes.

- She must be a great Mum, she always did love kids.

Okay,

do you two remember a vow we made the day we left school?

- A vow?

- The four of us.

- No.

- We said in 10 years' time, we'd all get together

and celebrate in some fancy restaurant.

- No, I don't remember that. - Sounds like a good idea.

- Well, I thought I'd book a table at Lacey's.

- Lacey's, that's expensive.

- You'd better not wear your wellies, had you?

- Well, it doesn't matter,

the four of us getting together after all this time,

it means a lot to me.

Cheers.

- Yeah, somewhere around Midsomer Mallow.

No, we don't have a name.

(quiet background office bustling)

Well, there can't be that many door-to-door knife grinders

around these days, can there?

Sir, I think I've tracked down our odd job man.

- Good.

- Jacob Stoke, no known address,

but he works a couple of the Midsomer villages.

- Any form? - Couple of minor offences,

drunk and disorderly, threatening behaviour.

Apparently he uses a workshop, some kind of lock-up.

- Where?

- Barrow End?

- Barrow End, I know it.

- [Cully] Hi, Dad.

- Hello, Cully.

- These are my old friends.

Lynn Spearman. - Oh yes, we've met.

- And Cassie Woods.

- I remember when we last met, Mr. Barnaby

- When was that?

- It was during one of our school plays,

I was doing front of house, you arrived late.

- And did I enjoy the play?

- I shouldn't think so, no one else did.

- Well, I'll see you later.

- [Cully] How are you getting on?

- I've found a flat and I can move straight in.

- Have they given you a car yet?

- Tomorrow.

- Well, why don't I pick you up later,

take you and your things there.

- Thank you.

See you around.

(birds twittering)

- Sure you've got time for a celebration?

- He's new here.

- Don't worry, I'll look after him.

- [Cully] He's not rich, Lynn.

- Shame.

- He's just a poor working copper.

(light melodic orchestral music)

- It's been a while since this place was used.

- Yes, he could have moved on, I suppose, left the area.

(regular thudding)

(door opening)

- A very good evening to you.

- Evening, Charles.

- Good evening.

Oh.

- Thank you.

Now, I'm sure you all remember,

that at our last general meeting

we had something of a problem.

- Fiona.

- We worked long and hard at voting her off the committee,

but she wouldn't budge.

Now her death is a sad business,

but it has it's compensations,

because the problem no longer exists.

- I still think we shouldn't have wished her dead.

- Oh, for goodness sakes, Mary,

we all hated the sight of the woman,

would you wish her back? - There's no need to shout.

- She needs shouting at.

Would you want Fiona back?

Thank you.

- I just don't think we should be dancing on her grave.

- Oh, I agree, especially as the police

are asking questions here in the village.

No, no, no, there's no need to record this, Shirley,

it's an informal meeting.

However life goes on,

so I feel that our annual open garden day,

Midsomer Mallow in Bloom should proceed as planned.

- Are you sure?

- Oh, come on now, we have to postpone it this year.

- No.

- We've got to as a mark of respect.

- I'm sorry.

- But we can't do it, Charles.

- We bloody well can.

- But there's an investigation going on.

- So what?

- And I don't know if it had anything to do with it,

but I heard something the night she was killed.

- What did you hear?

- A squeaking noise.

- Really?

- Oh, for goodness sake!

- No, listen to me, I did hear something, I told the police.

- I expect you kept them amused for hours,

because at your age it's quite easy to imagine things.

- Charles, when you say life goes on,

has that anything to do with you wanting to win

the Best Frontage Award for the third year running?

- There's one thing I will cancel

and that is the rest of this meeting,

until you're in a more positive frame of mind.

I shall talk to you all in the morning.

- Maybe we should wish a few more people dead,

it seems to do the trick.

(dog barking in distance)

- A paper shop?

- Yep.

Round the back.

- [Cully] It's a bit small.

- It'll do me for now.

I don't intend staying around here for long.

In the meantime it's ideal,

I only have to go downstairs for my morning paper.

- What do you mean,

you won't be staying around here for long?

You've only just arrived. - Not my idea.

Someone thought a change of location would be good for me.

- Oh, I see.

- And naturally I want promotion sometime,

I don't think I'll get it here.

- Does my father know anything about this?

- I'm sure he must have sussed it.

- Well, I hope you're not gonna waste his time.

- No.

No, I won't do that.

- I'm, um, I'm going to Midsomer Mallow in the morning,

do you want a lift?

- No, thanks, I'll find my own way there.

- Okay.

Well, enjoy yourself.

- Yes, yes,

and I think we'll use Anne again this year for the posters,

there's always a few smudges, but she's quick and cheap.

Are we happy with her?

Right, well then,

I'll leave you to deal with that, Josephine.

Thank you.

Goodnight.

(regular squeaking outside)

(melodic haunting music)

(dog barking in distance)

(regular squeaking nearby)

(regular squeaking subsiding)

(birds twittering)

- Cully. - Hello, Dad.

- What are you doing here?

- Oh, I came and got this for a friend of mine.

She has a child.

- Where does she live?

- In a cottage in Snakes Lane, I'm off to surprise her.

- That's very pretty, these are lovely, aren't they?

- I know, and they just sell dolls, old ones, new ones,

ones that have been mended.

(birds twittering)

(light melodic orchestral music)

(melodic haunting music)

(light melodic orchestral music)

(gate creaking)

- Mr. Rust, I'm sorry to disturb you again.

This is Detective Sergeant Scott.

- I'm too busy to answer any more of your questions.

(birds twittering)

- Lovely roses, what a wonderful garden you have here, sir.

- It's probably the best in the village.

- The nearest I ever got to a garden was a window box

and then someone nicked that.

And the bell?

- The bell, oh, the bell,

ah, you've met Donald Tew, of course.

Well, he was once the headmaster here

and he will tell you that the bell was only ever used

on one special occasion each year.

- And what special occasion would that be, sir?

- Awards Day.

Now how can I help you?

- Ah, Mr. Rust, would you take a look at this?

- Here.

Oh yes it's a Fragrant Cloud, it's a Hybrid Tea,

so it's quite common.

- Could this have come from the rose bush

in your front garden?

- Yes, but there are similar bushes in the village,

though not quite as well kept as mine.

If you care to take a look this weekend,

it's our open garden day.

- Oh, right.

- Why are you asking me about a dead, damaged rose?

- Because it was found on the body of Fiona Thompson.

- Well, she was probably wearing it

with that stupid dress of hers.

- No, she wasn't.

You said that on the night of the Spanish evening,

you checked the village hall car park a couple of times,

is that right?

- Yes, I mean, some of those idiots

don't know how to park their cars.

- [Tom] And other than that,

you didn't leave the village hall?

- No. - Until when?

- Well, it must have been well after midnight,

there were things to do.

- Thank you, Mr. Rust.

Ah, this was Donald Tew's house, wasn't it?

When he was headmaster?

- Yes, and the blackboard in the kitchen

belonged to the school as well

and I use this original teacher's desks here in my study.

I love this house.

- Is your garden part of the open day, Mr. Rust?

- Naturally, and I expect to win the top prize,

the Chairman's Cup.

- I'm sure you'll do it.

- Thank you.

- You know, you could charm a toad out of a tree, you.

(melodic orchestral music)

(car engine starting)

(light melodic orchestral music)

- The police have been to Charles's house again.

That's twice now.

How many times have they spoken to you, Shirley?

- Just the once.

- And me, so something must be up.

He deserves to be punished, Shirley,

he really does.

(door closing)

- Hello?

Noel, is Cassie here?

- No, it's market day.

Is something wrong?

- Well yes, it's odd, I went to Rachel's cottage,

I knocked on the door, but she didn't answer.

- She doesn't like people calling there.

- Why?

I know she was in,

she must have seen me, must have heard me.

- It's just the way she is these days, Cully.

- Well, what's happened to her?

- She's okay.

Honestly, she's fine.

- Whatever it is, it smells good.

- Thanks.

- Do you do all the cooking around here?

- Hm, and the cleaning,

Cassie's never been much good around the house.

- Hm.

Have you never wanted to leave Midsomer?

- No, I'm happy here.

- What about girlfriends?

- No time for that at the moment.

Anyway, I've never got over you.

- Come on now, that was just a schoolboy crush.

Anyway I was too old for you.

- Only a couple of years too old.

Do you remember where we first kissed?

- Yes,

yes, it was Chainey's Field.

(birds twittering)

(melodic haunting music)

- If my husband was alive,

he could have prevented Charles living in that house.

He would have made sure the school was a listed building

and he would have made you a tenant.

And the way Charles talks to you.

(sighing)

No one liked him as a doctor, in fact he was hated.

Two for his nib.

And he doesn't like anyone getting in his way.

- No, he doesn't.

- Well, Fiona got in his way, didn't she?

And look what happened to her.

(regular squeaking outside)

- Listen.

(melodic haunting music)

(regular squeaking outside)

- Is that the sound you heard?

Well then, don't go out there, Donald,

please don't go out there.

(regular squeaking subsiding)

(cheerful brass band music)

(background chattering)

(light melodic orchestral music)

- Those committee bastards

have taken over the village again.

You'd think they'd have the decency to ask if we minded.

- Why should they?

You told them what to do with their committee,

if you remember? - Where are you going?

- Out for a while to get away from it.

You're welcome to come with me if you want.

- No, I've got work to finish.

And you know something else?

There seems to be more of them this year.

- Must be the murder.

(cheerful orchestral music)

- I don't see the point in wandering about

in someone else's garden.

- It's a chance to learn something.

- Like what, how to tie up a few broad beans?

(car horn tooting)

We're a lost race, do you know that?

We care more for our gardens and our pets,

than we do our kith and kin.

(car horn tooting)

Bloody hell! (car horn tooting)

You alright?

- Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.

(cheerful brass band music)

(background chattering)

Isn't that the car that forced us off the road?

- Yeah, it is.

- [Joyce] Are you gonna say something?

- No, and spoil our afternoon?

I don't think so.

(cheerful brass band music)

- Is there any news?

- Yes, Helen Broome has won Best Containerized Small Garden.

- Good, well, that'll keep her quiet for a year.

Judges are on the move again.

- Can't wait to win, can he?

(background chattering)

- What can I get you?

- I'd like a piece of Victoria sponge, please.

- What happened to that diet?

- What diet?

Anyway it's the weekend, thank you.

- May I?

I think I'll take a look around.

- Where's Lynn?

- I'm meeting her later.

I've arranged something.

(car horn tooting outside)

(background chattering)

- Excuse me.

Will you please leave my garden, hm?

It is not open to the public, hm.

It never has been and it never will be.

(melodic haunting music)

(background chattering)

- Hello, Mr. Thompson.

- You'd have thought those bastards

would have had more respect, wouldn't you?

Fiona hasn't even been buried yet.

- Look, I'm sorry.

- Is this it, sir?

- [Tom] I'm afraid it is.

- Only where I come from,

open garden day is when someone breaks into your shed.

Drink?

- Yeah.

(birds twittering)

- Hello, Mike. - Charles.

- Rosemary. - Charles.

- I think you'll find it's even better than last year

and not a trough or a hanging basket in sight,

you know, I can't stand the things.

(melodic haunting music)

This is the best border I've ever done.

(background chattering)

- [Daniel] What do they call this beer?

- Real.

Oh, here's Joyce.

- I've just bumped into Cully.

- Where is she?

- With a couple of her friends.

- Can I buy you a drink, Mrs. Barnaby?

- Thank you.

- Thank you so much.

- Thank you, Charles. - Thanks.

(background chattering)

- So where are we going?

- I told you, I've arranged something.

Follow us.

(cheerful orchestral music)

(light haunting music)

(door creaking quietly)

(background chattering)

(light haunting music)

(background chattering)

(melodic haunting music)

(background chattering)

(melodic haunting music)

(bell ringing)

- How dare he,

how dare he do this.

(gate creaking)

- Won't be a sec.

- Sorry.

(sombre orchestral music)

- [Mary] Oh!

- [Officer] Next, please.

Morning. - Morning, sir.

- An apple for the teacher.

- Yes, except he wasn't a teacher.

(muffled background chattering)

- What did he say about the school bell, sir?

- Ah, he said it was only ever rung on Awards Day.

- You might want to take a look in the kitchen, sir,

through here.

(background chattering)

(police radio broadcasting quietly)

- Mr. Tew, a word please, please, sir.

I think it would be a good idea

to end the open garden day now, sir.

- End it?

- Yes, please, can you manage that?

- Now?

- Yes, sir, now please.

- Yes.

- Thank you.

- Ladies and gentlemen,

I'm sorry but we have to end the afternoon.

Would you please move back?

(crowd expressing disappointment)

I'm sorry, ladies and gentlemen, please move back.

- Tom, have you seen Cully?

- Cully, she's probably still with her friends, isn't she?

- There's no sign of them either

and right now I'd just like to know where she is.

- Where do her friends live?

- Piper's Cross Farm.

- And she has another old friend

lives in the cottage in Snakes Lane.

- Where?

- Snakes Lane, it's off Causton Road, you can't miss it.

(birds twittering)

- I remember this place, we used to come here as kids.

- That's right.

Let's go further up.

- When I heard the bell,

I thought,

I thought he was ringing it to show off,

to celebrate his win.

Thank you.

- Did you see anyone else in there?

- No.

- Did you hear anything?

- Nothing, nothing.

So strange to hear that sound,

that bell hasn't rung in years.

(light melodic orchestral music)

(car engine starting)

- He was attacked while he was sitting at his desk.

Have you found the murder weapon yet?

- No.

- Because he was struck by several blows,

probably by the same long-bladed knife.

First a rose, then an apple, why make fun of the dead?

(birds twittering)

- This place is exactly the same,

I'd forgotten how beautiful it is.

- Hi!

Cully Barnaby, well, well,

I thought you'd forgotten all about us.

- Now how could I forget any of you?

We always said we'd be friends for life.

- So we did. - Where's your daughter?

- My parents often take her out for the day.

- Oh, that's a shame, I'd love to have seen her.

What's her name? - It's Lily.

- Well, when you and Lily are next in town.

- Oh, I don't go into town.

- Alright, then, in the village.

- Noel,

you're a man in a million.

You've even brought flowers.

- Don't praise him too much, he gets enough praise at home.

- No, he doesn't.

- Thanks.

- Try one of these, they're delicious.

- Come and join us, Cully.

Come on.

(birds twittering)

- I followed the judges into Charles's garden,

I thought I'd take a look.

- Did you enter the house?

- No, I have better things to do, Mr. Barnaby.

- Is that the costume you wore for the Spanish evening?

- Yes, among other things, I've taught drama in my time,

therefore I've always collected costumes.

- Looks like the real thing to me, that.

- Oh, it is.

- I see you've got the matador's sword too?

- Yes, and before you ask,

I didn't take it in to the village hall that evening.

Fiona was a troublemaker, but I had no reason to harm her.

- I'm told that Charles Rust was once the local G.P.

here in Midsomer Mallow.

- Yes he was, he retired a couple of years ago.

- Was he a good doctor?

- Well, I suppose he knew his stuff,

trouble was he surrounded himself

with awkward members of staff,

sometimes it was impossible to get near him.

When Fiona worked for him-- - Fiona Thompson?

- Yes.

- Well, I thought Fiona worked in Causton.

- Well, she did, but until Charles retired,

she was his receptionist,

she was in charge of all his medical records.

- [Cully] What about Carol Curtis?

- That bitch? - Oh, she wasn't so bad.

- She got married and went to live up North.

- Best place for her.

In fact that's the best place for any woman,

who marries just for the sake of it.

- Does that include me?

- Of course it does, you married a man who never laughs,

what kind of a life is that?

(birds twittering)

- Rachel, um, I was saying to the girls the other day,

that it's been 10 years since we were all together,

so I was thinking we should celebrate.

- Well, we're celebrating now, aren't we?

- Well, yes, but I thought we should do it in style.

- Right.

Who's for a swim?

(melodic orchestral music)

Come on, Noel, let's see what you're made of.

(laughing)

You too, Lynn.

- I'm not going in there, it's filthy.

- [Noel] Come on, Cassie.

(shrieking happily)

(laughing)

- Come on,

in you go!

- [Lynn] Let go of me.

(shrieking)

(laughing)

- You think you're so brilliant, don't you?

- Get off!

Get off me, this filthy water!

- Stop it!

Stop it!

Both of you, stop it!

Please, stop, stop it!

(melodic orchestral music)

(laughing)

(coughing)

- You alright?

You sure? - Yeah, yeah.

(coughing)

- Lynn?

Lynn, are you here?

(sighing with relief)

I've been out looking for you,

where have you been? - I was with friends.

- Well, maybe you should stay with those friends tonight.

- I don't want to stay with them.

- I have to go to London.

- You usually go on Sundays.

- Listen to me,

there's been another murder here in the village,

I don't really wanna leave you alone.

- Another murder?

- Yes.

- Don't leave me, Matthew, please stay here.

- I can't, there's too much to do in London.

(melodic orchestral music)

- Where was she?

- She was in the river, sir.

She was with those friends of hers,

they were having a bit of a party, she's gone home now.

- Good.

(light melodic orchestral music)

Hello?

(glass bottles clinking)

If Stoke is the man we're looking for,

why would he kill Fiona Thompson and Charles Rust, hey?

- Yeah?

- Evening, sir, I'm Detective Chief Inspector Barnaby,

this is Detective Sergeant Scott from Causton C.I.D.

- We believe Jacob Stoke drinks in here.

- He did, until I barred him.

- Why did you bar him?

- He was getting too nasty.

- [Tom] When was that, sir?

- About two, three days ago.

- Do you know where he lives?

- No, just here and there,

hangs around Chainey's Field sometimes.

If he's too pissed, he's known to curl up

in that handcart of his and sleep it off.

(dog barking in distance)

- Hi Dad, I just came by to say I'm sorry.

- Oh.

- It's just you didn't need to send Daniel

driving off around the countryside looking for me.

- Oh well, your mother, she was worried.

- I realise that and another murder in Midsomer Mallow,

the killer must have been there with all those people.

- Yeah, do you want a drink?

- No, thank you.

- So how was the day out with your friends, was that good?

- Oh, it was,

it was alright.

At least we all got together again at last.

- And that, what's her name from Snakes Lane, was she there?

- Rachel, yeah, she was there.

I still can't believe she has a daughter.

- [Tom] Has she, who's the Dad?

- No one knows, she went away to have the child.

- When was this?

- About three years ago.

They'd all, they'd all changed, Dad,

they were different.

- I told you so.

- Except for Noel, he'll never change.

- Who's Noel?

- Cassie's brother, we used to go out together once.

- Oh, did you now?

- He used to be such fun in those days.

- In what way was he fun?

- He used to make us laugh,

he was always playing practical jokes.

(light melodic orchestral music)

But yes,

they were different.

(dog barking in distance)

(knocking on door)

- Oh, what?

(knocking on door)

Yes, alright, I'm coming!

(knocking on door)

Yeah, hold, look, hold on will you!

(door opening)

- [Tom] I suppose you realise

it's nearly 12 o'clock, do you?

- I'll be right with you, sir.

- God, would you look at the state of this place!

- Where's me shoe?

- I'll tell you something now, Scott,

I'm not in a good mood.

- Right, sir.

- So you tell me something, do you intend to stay here?

- What, in this flat?

- No, Scott, with my division.

- No, I'm sorry, sir?

- Because maybe you feel you've been done an injustice.

- In what way, sir?

- By being shunted out of London.

- Alright, I'll be honest with you, sir.

Maybe I don't like the countryside,

maybe I can't tell one herd of chickens from another.

I am prepared to put up with it for the time being.

- Oh, you're prepared to put up with it?

- Yeah, because I'm willing to learn

and alright, the flat's a tip, so what?

I'm the one who has to live with it.

You see, with all due respect, sir,

I've been involved with two murders

from the moment I arrived here,

I haven't had time to suss out the launderette,

or where the local post office is

and I'm tired and it's Sunday.

- And your tie's crooked.

- Thank you, sir.

- And you don't get Sundays off when you work with me.

- Great, can I buy you breakfast?

- Yes, you can. (phone ringing)

- Good.

- Barnaby.

(melodic haunting music)

- There's no way we can make an identification, sir,

it's too badly burnt.

- We think we know who he is.

- I suppose if he was drunk,

he could've set fire to himself accidentally.

- Got a bag?

- I've seen this before.

Bag!

Thank you.

I think it's time we took that look

at Dr. Rust's medical records, yeah?

- On a Sunday?

- On a Sunday, yeah.

You can use your charm.

(light melodic orchestral music)

(birds twittering)

(child playing)

Hello there.

- Who are you?

- I'm Tom Barnaby from Causton C.I.D.

- Barnaby, are you Cully's Dad?

- Yeah, that's right, I am.

(birds twittering)

- Come on.

- And you must be Rachel.

Oi!

Someone had better buy you a new dolly, shouldn't they?

Cully said she had to meet three old friends,

I know Lynn and Cassie from her school days,

but I can't quite remember you.

- No, you wouldn't, I was always the quiet one.

Come on.

(door closing)

(child crying)

(melodic haunting music)

(car engine starting)

(melodic orchestral music)

(clearing throat)

- Afternoon, Miss Bennett.

Oh, this is Detective Sergeant Scott.

- Hello.

- I'm sorry to worry you with this,

but would you be kind enough to take a look at this for us.

- Well, it's one of mine, what's left of it,

I sold it a couple of days ago.

- Are there any others like it?

- No, similar, but not identical, it's part of their charm.

- I believe you're secretary of the Residents' Committee,

Miss Bennett.

- That's right, I am.

- Were you also secretary,

when Matthew Spearman was a member?

- Yes, but he didn't like us,

so he didn't stay with us long.

- That was when his wife was in New Zealand, yes?

- Yes.

- How long ago was that?

- Donald was treasurer then,

um, Charles had just become chairman,

I'd say about three years.

- Three years, thank you.

(siren wailing outside)

(quiet background chattering)

- Where did you get it, Dad?

- Is that the doll you bought from that shop?

- Yes, I bought it for Rachel's daughter.

What's happened to it?

- Did you give it to her?

- No, I knocked on Rachel's door that day,

but there was no answer.

- So you didn't see the daughter?

- Well, I did and she doesn't look anything like her mother.

Here, grab a seat.

What did you do with the doll after that?

- I gave it to Noel at the farm,

they're all friends, they see each other a lot,

he said he'd give it to Rachel.

- Noel the practical joker?

- [Cully] Yes.

- And did he?

- I don't know, she didn't bother to thank me for it.

What is this, Dad, why are you questioning me like this?

- What sort of jokes did Noel used to play then?

- When?

- When you were at school together.

- I don't know,

he used to put jokey things

in other peoples' lockers and desks,

people we didn't like just to scare them.

Why?

- This doll was found by the body of a murdered man,

he'd been stabbed and set alight,

some joke.

- No, Dad,

no, not Noel.

How could you think such a thing?

(cow mooing)

(birds twittering)

- Hello, Cassie.

Is your brother here?

- Yes, Cully gave me a bag with a doll in it,

it was a present for Lily.

- Who did you give it to?

- Look, what is this? - Did you give it to Rachel?

- No.

- Then who did you give it to?

- Lynn, she said she'd take it to Rachel's.

- I doubt it got there.

- I think my brother's entitled

to know what's going on, Mr. Barnaby.

- Yes, well, why don't we all go into the house, huh?

Three years ago Lynn Spearman visited New Zealand,

am I correct?

- [Cassie] Yes.

- And around about the same time,

Rachel went off to London to have her baby,

that was a bit of a coincidence, wasn't it?

And in a small village like Midsomer Mallow,

I'm surprised that a few tongues didn't start wagging,

because at least two people knew

that it wasn't a coincidence at all.

Charles Rust and his then receptionist, Fiona Thompson

and both those people are now dead.

- We checked Lynn and Rachel's medical notes,

now Rachel hasn't had a problem for quite a while,

but just over three years ago, Lynn's notes were forwarded

from a surgery in South West London.

She forgot to change her G.P.,

when she came back to Midsomer Mallow.

- Lily is Lynn's child,

am I right?

- Yes.

- And you, Noel Woods, you are the father?

- Yes.

- Did you kill Charles Rust and Fiona Thompson?

- No.

- Do you know who did?

- Of course not.

With Lynn and me, it was just a bit of fun to start with,

Matthew was hardly ever home and then things went wrong.

- Like what?

- Lynn lost interest,

it seemed to be just a bit of a game with her

or as if she was trying to prove something.

I don't think she cares about anyone.

- Not even for her daughter?

- But I care about Lily, I see her whenever I can,

but it's difficult.

- In what way?

- As friends we discussed it, we decided to close ranks,

to act out a lie.

- [Tom] Well, that would be a bit of a problem, wouldn't it?

Lily is the spitting image of her mother.

- I know, that's why Rachel can't be seen with her.

And there's a problem.

- Like what?

- She's been with the child too long,

she's now behaving like the real mother

and we think there could be trouble.

(melodic haunting music)

(dog barking in distance)

(regular squeaking nearby)

- [Rachel] What are you doing here?

- Rachel, I need to talk to you.

- Oh, for God's sake.

Come inside.

I'm gonna get you a nice drink now, alright, sweetheart.

Come on then, out you get, good girl.

- Are you leaving here?

- Yes.

- Where have you been this time of night?

- To post some letters,

by the time they get them, we'll be gone.

- By the time who gets them?

- Noel and Cassie and Lynn.

Lily and I often walk at night to the village and back,

that way no one sees us.

- She's not your child, is she?

She's Lynn's.

Who's the father?

- Does it matter?

- Yes, it does.

- Alright, it's Noel

and he's never gonna leave his sister, is he?

They need each other.

- What about Lynn?

- She doesn't need anyone, she never has.

- And that's why you're leaving?

- Yes, look, someone has to give Lily a proper life,

she can't be just wheeled around in the dark forever.

Now get out.

Go on, just get out!

- Rachel, please. - Get out, go!

Just get out!

(dog barking in distance)

(owl hooting nearby)

(light haunting music)

- Who is that?

Lynn?

- Remember how I used to hurt you when we were small?

It was because you used to tell on me.

- Lynn, don't be stupid, that was years--

- And nobody does that, not to me.

So now,

I'm going to hurt you again.

You and your stupid bloody reunion!

- Lynn, please, please, no!

(thudding blow) - Uh!

- After all I've done for you.

(sighing)

(melodic haunting music)

- It was the Spanish evening.

Matthew had gone to bed early,

I went for a walk

and saw Fiona in her flamenco frock

strutting her stuff.

(dog barking in distance)

- Hello?

- [Lynn] She'd called me earlier that day.

- Hello?

- She told me about her lack of funds,

then she mentioned my medical records,

so I thought,

I'll have you,

you cow.

I took her out to Chainey's Field,

I knew how much she hated the place.

- And Charles Rust,

he knew too, did he?

I suppose there were no problems there,

garden walkabout day, everybody was busy.

But I'd seen you just before,

you'd overtaken me on the road.

You called at Rachel's cottage.

- Isn't that the car that forced us off the road?

- Yeah, it is.

- [Joyce] Well, are you gonna say something?

- No, and spoil our afternoon.

Or did you want to be seen?

A fast car like yours,

there was time to get back to the village

and do what you had to do.

(car engine starting)

(door creaking quietly)

Once you'd got Fiona out of the way,

it was logical to finish the job,

the doctor who knew your secret.

Did he threaten to tell as well, could he be trusted?

(melodic haunting music)

(choking)

- That would have been the end of it,

but your daughter had found out about Lily.

I followed her to Rachel's cottage,

I knew it wouldn't be long before she told her Daddy.

- [Cully] Lynn!

- And no one tells tales, not about me.

Ask Cully.

- So what about Jacob Stoke?

- Who?

- The odd job man, would he have told tales?

- Were you worried he may have witnessed something

on the night you killed Fiona?

Or maybe you heard something

just before you were about to do your killing,

a squeaking sound and you thought that's the handcart,

but it wasn't, Lynn,

that was the sound from your child's pushchair

being wheeled through the village at night,

Rachel and Lily.

I expect they walked passed your great house

on more than one occasion in the dark,

the friend you've made use of and the child you'd abandoned.

- And I imagine you'd seen Stoke

sleeping it off in the past.

Easy to kill then, wasn't he?

(light haunting music)

(dog barking in distance)

Tell me something, Lynn,

why the rose and the apple and the doll?

(melodic haunting music)

- It was a game really,

reminded me of my school days.

Matthew always says I'm childish,

but you see, he hasn't got a sense of humour,

I have,

that's why Noel and I got on so well.

(quiet background chattering)

- It's a nice restaurant, Cully.

- Yes, it is.

- It's not the sort of place I'd choose.

- No, you'd rather eat at home.

- Well, after a hard day's work, yes, I would.

- [Daniel] Not late again, am I?

- Hello, Daniel.

- Mrs. Barnaby.

Sir.

Thank you for inviting me, Cully.

May I say you look lovely.

- Just sit down, would you?

I've invited you all here, because I didn't want to cancel

and I didn't want to come here alone, so.

- That's understandable.

- Will you join me in a toast to absent friends?

- To absent friends.

(melodic orchestral music)