Original subtitles

This is my boss,

Jonathan hart, a self-made millionaire.

He's quite a guy.

This is Mrs. H. She's gorgeous.

She's one lady who knows how to take care of herself.

By the way, my name is Max.

I take care of both of them,

which ain't easy, 'cause when they met,

it was murder.

[Theme music playing]

[Barks]

[Jennifer] "The Parthenon was built

during the time of pericles,

between 447 and 432 b.C.,

and was designed by what may have been

the most successful architectural team of all time."

Isn't it beautiful?

I wonder if Max fixed the roof yet.

[Jennifer] This is the coliseum.

Ah, terrific.

Give me your camera.

I want to take a picture of you

against the background of Athens.

- Okay. - How do I look?

Great. One classic in front of another.

- [Camera clicking] - Oh, thanks.

I wonder how the rams are doing.

All right, thank you.

The board meeting will take place in Los Angeles

on schedule, in three days' time.

Today is Tuesday.

I shall start acquiring the stock at once.

Very discreetly, of course.

And at Friday's board meeting,

I'll make my move to take over.

Surely he can block you with the stock he controls.

Only if he discovers what I'm doing.

It is up to you, Victor,

to ensure that once he leaves Athens,

there is no way his office can reach him.

So, while he's racing around the Greek mountains,

you take over the company.

Exactly. That's why I've chosen this time

to begin my operation.

To a successful takeover bid.

To your first foothold in the United States.

To Jonathan hart industries.

To Mr. Hart.

May he never know what hit him.

[Jonathan] How far?

[Man] I saw the man at the hotel this morning,

but he simply hasn't appeared.

- Good luck. - Thanks.

[Engines revving]

[Chatter]

How's it look?

Oh, great.

Mountains, cliffs, fire trails, goat tracks,

and about 60 miles of unpaved roads.

Piece of cake.

You guys got it easy.

I got to go up in that thing.

Max, are you still worried

about flying around in that helicopter?

I'm telling you, Mr. H,

it's like taking off in a giant cuisinart.

[Announcer] May I have your attention, please?

Your attention, please.

We're about to begin

the Jonathan hart industries acropolis rally.

Three days and two nights from Athens and back again.

All the entry fees, which, by the way, total over 750,000,

will be donated to one of Mr. Hart's favorite charities.

[Cheering]

The winner will receive a silver trophy.

Mr. Hart thanks you all.

[Cheering continues]

Switch this map with the one the harts are using.

I want him running around in circles so confused,

he doesn't get back to Athens before Friday.

[Announcer] Local police patrols have been alerted

to stop and give assistance in such cases

or aid from any other source.

The rules are simple and straightforward.

There are three check-in points:

The first night at delphi,

the second night in the town of meteora,

and the finish line

back in Athens at the stadium.

You've been given maps with suggested routes,

but as the saying goes,

chacun a son gout.

If you believe you have an inspired route of your own,

follow your nose.

You must check in each evening.

Short of that,

the first to cross the finish line is the winner.

May I remind you...

I'm afraid there's been a misunderstanding.

Yes, yes. I understand there has been a misunderstanding,

but I'm afraid it is you who have misunderstood.

The rules are quite clear if you'd care to reread them.

There must be two passengers in every car.

And there is no reference whatsoever

to race, creed, sex, or species.

[Announcer] We hope to see you at delphi tonight

in good condition.

Good luck to all of you!

[Cheering]

[Engines revving]

Hold it.

Okay.

Go!

- Mr. Jonathan hart? - Here you are, darling. Yes.

Anthony vlachos. I thought I recognized you.

Your reputation precedes you.

Don't believe a word of it. I was born lucky.

This is Max.

- How do you do? - How do you do?

My wife, Jennifer.

- How do you do? - How do you do?

I see you could lose the race and still end up the winner.

I suppose someone should say, "may the best man win."

No need, Mrs. Hart. It goes without saying.

Anyway, it's a rough course.

I just wanted to wish you good luck.

Thanks very much.

Good luck, Mr. and Mrs. H.

See you in delphi.

Hey, Max. Don't worry.

Once you get airborne, you'll be all right.

- Yeah, I hope so. - Bye-bye, Max.

[Man] Go!

Go!

Okay, go!

Go!

Go!

[Engine starts]

Go!

Hang on!

There is an emergency phone call

for Mr. Hart from Los Angeles.

I'm afraid he just stepped out of the office.

Will you take it?

- Okay, I'll take it. - Come on.

[Horn honks]

Did they give you any tips

on how to get through the traffic?

Fly.

[Honking]

It says here that it was on this very site

that Zeus made his pact with Aphrodite.

I thought that Zeus was the head man around Olympus.

Why did he have to make a pact?

Well, he didn't really have to make a pact.

It's just that Aphrodite could be very persuasive

when she wanted to be.

And Zeus fell for a lady's charms.

That's why they call it mythology.

Look at that statue of Apollo.

What a magnificent physique.

On second thought, maybe you'd better look at the map.

When it's all over, hart will realize

you planned everything, won't he?

Sure. But by that time it won't matter.

I wish I could, Mr. Eady, but Mr. H is nowheres near a phone right now.

But I'm flying up to delphi with the officials.

I can give him the message there.

[Eady] I don't want to alarm him, Max,

but I think he ought to know.

Tell him there's been some trading of his stock

the last couple of days.

It's a little heavier than usual

but probably within bounds.

I'll call on Friday with the report.

Okay, let's see if I got this straight.

There's been some trading, but it isn't too bad,

and you'll call him after the board meeting.

Okay, I'll give it to him.

What was that?

Oh, there was a great dress in that store over there!

I want to remember the name of this town. I want to come back here.

Blackie, blackie, if you'll stop dribbling

and concentrate just a fraction on the map,

we stand a prayer of not finishing up in Belgium.

Right curve... now.

Come on, Blackwell, you ridiculous mutt, can't you see?

Get off the map! We are hopelessly lost!

[Car approaching]

Having trouble?

[Both laughing]

Very funny!

Blackie, get off the map.

You ridiculous mutt.

How long does it take to walk to delphi?

This is murder.

Hey, uh, is that right, if anything happens,

you can't land like a plane?

You drop like a stone?

That right?

Huh?

Tony.

Don't be so tense. Loosen up.

This is not a game for me, ute.

I've planned for this moment for some time.

You know, once I have Jonathan hart industries,

I can spread my influence right across america.

And by now, hopefully the harts are lost among the goats,

somewhere up in the mountains.

And if they find their way down?

Then I will do whatever is necessary to protect my interests.

Something tells me we're slightly off course.

[Stopwatch beeps]

Yeah, but we're making great time.

All we need now is a few more gallons of gas

and, uh, 300 more horsepower.

[Announcer] Ladies and gentlemen,

welcome to delphi.

And congratulations to those of you

fortunate enough to arrive

with all four wheels intact.

You have completed the first day.

Hart's office have got through to their man Max.

At the moment, they think it's just routine stock trading.

Fine. Even if hart makes his way here,

that news won't alarm him.

[Jennifer] It's times like these, I wish we could call the auto club!

Max will be glad he went by helicopter.

Poor Max.

He must be worried to death about us.

Oh! Jonathan!

[Traditional Greek music playing]

Opa!

[No audible dialogue]

[Jonathan] Hey. Can you give us a hand?

There.

[Jennifer groans]

[Phone rings]

Ohh.

I'll call Max first thing, okay?

[Music continues]

Mr. and Mrs. H!

Where you been? I've been real nervous about you.

You have a very interesting technique for dealing with stress.

Come on, sit down. Sit down, I'll get you something to eat.

Seems your little trick didn't work.

Got to slow him down,

keep him from getting back to Athens

before the board meeting.

I'll make sure he doesn't get back to Athens at all.

Here's some Greek hors d'oeuvres.

Dolmades. It's grape leaves

stuffed with rice and things.

And try some of this ouzo,

so named because it oozes down.

Takes the edge off the day.

Max, do you still have your rally map?

Certainly. Why?

Would you mind getting it

and picking ours up from the car, too?

What's up, Mr. H?

I have a feeling somebody planned

a little scenic tour for us.

Okay, but watch that ouzo.

It sneaks up on you.

[Door opening]

Thanks, gentlemen.

How does it look, Mr. H?

A lot better than your head at the moment.

Guess you scared off whoever it was.

Mr. Hart, the helicopter's ready.

- Thanks very much. - Helicop...

You going somewhere, Mr. H?

No, Max. You are.

Not in a helicopter.

You're going into Athens

to be checked out by a doctor.

[Stammering] But... But it isn't necessary.

I feel fine.

- I'm okay. - We'll feel fine

once you've had your head x-rayed.

Well, wait a minute. What about the rally?

I don't want to miss it.

We'll be in Athens the day after tomorrow, Max. We'll give you a full report.

- Come on. - Come on.

Do I have to go in that eggbeater again?

But, Mr. H,

maybe I got conked harder than I thought.

- Maybe I ought to take a car back to Athens. - Oh, no. Come on, Max.

Come on, Max. Keep your eyes closed.

You'll be there before you know it.

Make sure you come back here after you drop him off.

We'll need you in the morning.

Oh, Mr. H, with the bump in my head,

I almost forgot. Mr. Eady called from L.A.

He said there's some trading in hart industries stock

but nothing to worry about.

I'll give him a call the first chance I get.

Come on. Get in.

Sorry there's no movie on this flight.

Look after yourself, Max.

Don't you think someone's going a little overboard?

First our map, and now Max.

Maybe we should withdraw from the rally.

Maybe we're the odds-on favorite.

How can we be? We're not professional drivers.

You're right. It doesn't make any sense.

Only if someone wants to take off with the winnings.

[Jennifer] But the winnings are going to charity.

You know what I'm thinking?

What?

You remember that story you told me

about Zeus's pact with Aphrodite?

That was just mythology.

Well, myth, convince me.

Oh, Jonathan, that is the worst joke

I've ever heard in my entire life.

-[Lisping] What's wrong with it? -Would you stop that?

[Lisping] I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Get out of h...

The harts have probably been told about the trading.

If you value your position,

you'd better stop tampering with engines.

I think, Victor,

you better start tampering with Mr. Hart himself now.

[Jennifer exhales]

[Jennifer] Oh. Now wasn't it worth

getting up extra early to see all this?

It says here that this was the spot

where the pythian oracle sat.

She would answer any questions,

but always with a riddle.

How did she do that?

People would camp at the bottom of the hill overnight

before coming up to ask questions.

The oracle sent out spies to eavesdrop at the campsite

and get a line on what questions to expect.

Well, it does take time to work out a convincing riddle.

Oh.

Well?

Go ahead.

Go ahead what?

Well, we came all this way.

Aren't you gonna ask a question?

Oh, darling, the oracles are long gone.

You never know. The old vibrations may be lurking about.

Try it.

All right.

But since this is a spiritual place,

I will ask in private.

[Man] Now wasn't it worth getting up extra early

to see all of this?

Now listen, old darling,

you're really gonna have to play by the rules,

or you'll have to get out of the race.

I... I've been pretty square with you.

I gave you the bed last night.

You've had three solid m...

You devoured an entire box of my best cigars.

If you have any problems,

speak now or forever hold your peace.

I'm sure the oracle will listen,

providing you're moderately articulate.

Oh! Good morning!

It's a lovely day, isn't it?

[Engines revving]

[Announcer] Ladies and gentlemen,

we are beginning the second day of the rally.

Hopefully we will see most of you

tonight in meteora.

We offer a special hope

that our sponsor, Mr. Hart,

can arrive behind the wheel and not behind the car.

Sure you got the right map this time?

I've been over it point by point.

Go!

Hold it, number 8.

Go!

Number 14, go!

Number 10, go!

Right turn.

Five, four, three, two, now.

Don't get too close.

Just close enough to watch when it happens.

You know what it says here?

What does it say?

Look out!

- Looks like the end of the road. - Wait a minute.

"Construction site of the Dmitri zimikis memorial highway"?

You want some of this?

[Jennifer] No, thanks.

Judging from the progress,

Mr. Zimikis is still with us.

Well, there's 15 kilometers of dirt road ahead.

Here goes.

[Jonathan] This shouldn't be so bad.

Are you all right?

Fine.

[Gasps] Jonathan!

Jonathan, what's the matter?

Jonathan, can you hear me?

Jonathan!

Jonathan, wake up!

Oh!

Oh!

Jonathan!

Jonathan! Take it easy.

We're all right.

- Huh. - Jonathan.

[Jennifer] Let me get this off.

[Jonathan] See? I told you it wouldn't be so bad.

He has some luck, this hart.

Better let me do it next time.

Max?

Max, there's a man calling from the United States.

Mr. Eady.

Must be for Mr. H.

I told him you shouldn't be disturbed,

but he insisted. He said it was urgent.

Okay. I'll take it. Thanks.

Even if you are an executive assistant,

you still need your rest.

You know how it is at the top, Helena.

It's one crisis after another.

I'll fix your medicine.

An important man like you

should learn to relax and get well.

Helena,

you're the best medicine I've had in a long time.

Max here. What's your problem, Mr. Eady?

Max, I've got to get in touch

with Mr. Hart urgently. Where is he?

[Max] Right now he's in the middle of a mountain. He'll be back tomorrow.

Tomorrow may be too late.

Someone's trying to take control of the company.

They can't do that! Can they?

If Mr. Hart doesn't vote his proxy by tomorrow's board meeting,

he'll lose the company within 24 hours.

Even if I could find him,

he couldn't get back to Los Angeles in time!

He doesn't have to be here. He can vote by phone.

Max, this is serious. You've got to find him.

I'll see what I can do. Where do I get you?

- At the office all night. - Okay.

Helena, I've got to get Mr. H.

Did you see that rally map I brought back?

No, I didn't.

But you're supposed to be resting.

Right now, resting would be the worst thing for my health.

Where's that map?

Max, I insist.

The doctor said complete bed rest.

Ah, here it is. Sorry, Helena, I got to go.

I want to get this canteen to the Athens police department,

have them check it out.

How's your head?

You remember the night that we celebrated

the anniversary of our first date?

- That bad? - Worse.

[Max] Taxi!

Max, wait!

You're my patient.

I suppose if you're running off somewhere,

it's my duty to see that you're taken care of.

Helena, you're terrific.

[Speaking Greek]

Tell him we want to go to meteora.

[Speaking Greek]

[Speaking Greek]

He doesn't know where that is.

It's about 600 kilometers from here.

In this area. Somewhere in the mountains.

Meteora? [Laughs]

You gotta be out of your mind, buddy.

About 500 bucks out of my mind.

Five c-notes?

I hear meteora's a pretty nice place this time of year.

[Max] You speak English.

Well, after driving a hack cab

around the garment district of New York for 15 years,

you do get to pick up the ideas for phrases.

The Greek's just for tourists.

Garment district, huh?

Did you ever run into a guy named "three card" Theo?

He ran a game off 34th street and 7th Avenue?

Yeah! Theo! I was into him for 300 bucks.

I paid him back in free rides.

The name is Max.

Hey. Nice to meet you. Name's Nick.

Name is Helena.

It is time to take your medicine.

[Engines revving]

[Announcer] Welcome to meteora.

We would like to offer our congratulations

on the completion of the second day of the race.

As expected,

you are becoming a smaller and select group.

And a special congratulations

to Mr. and Mrs. Hart,

-who arrived tonight... -He's gonna beat you. [Laughs]

with the engine running.

[Chatter]

[Cameras clicking]

[Bleating]

At this rate, we won't get there till morning.

Fifteen years. I've had truckers and stalled buses,

Jersey drivers, garbage in the streets.

I've never had sheep!

Miserable animals.

No wonder they eat them.

You realize, of course, they are a dying breed, don't you?

Tragically, I travel with a dog.

[Piano playing]

Find the telephone junction box for the town.

Destroy it.

We still have 18 hours before the meeting,

but just to be sure,

I shall give you the chance you've been waiting for.

- [Engines revving] - [Whistle blowing]

[Announcer] Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.

We hope you have enjoyed a good night's sleep

and are ready for this, the final day of the race.

On behalf of Mr. Hart,

we hope to see all of you in good condition

in Athens this evening.

Well, it's time to go.

I've been thinking, darling.

I really think we should pull out of this rally.

I don't think that would do any good.

- Why not? - Because I don't think

what's going on has anything to do with the rally.

[Horn honking]

It's Max.

[Max] Where's Mr. Hart?

- Huh? - Mr. H.

Oh, he's in the hotel.

Thanks. Come on!

The hart office must have gotten word to them in Athens.

The phones are all cut here.

Hart will never get through to Los Angeles on time.

I can't rely on that anymore.

It's still not too late to put their car out of commission.

We're past that now!

Hart's aware of what's happening.

While he's still breathing,

he'll do anything he can to stop it.

While he's still breathing.

[Engines revving]

As I told you,

all the phones have been cut out

since last night.

Thanks.

Max, you take the taxi back to Athens.

We're going by helicopter.

Okay, Mr. H, but we'll see you off.

The helicopter's gone.

- Is he alive? - Yeah.

Max, have the hotel clerk call an ambulance.

Right. Come on, Helena.

We're gonna have to get to a phone pretty quick,

or we're gonna lose more than a $50 cup.

We're gonna lose the company.

Hurry it up, will you, Max?

Take it easy.

There's a village about 15 kilometers up the road from here.

Unless they've cut all the phone lines in the country,

we should be able to get through there.

Well, we just found the chopper.

I don't think he's here to escort us back to Athens.

Come on, get in closer!

[Crashing]

Get in closer. Down, down.

Lower! Lower!

Darling, there's a tunnel

about 500 meters or so on up the road.

Closer.

Get closer.

Watch out! Aah!

Did you get a look at the pilot?

No, but I got a good look

at vlachos's girlfriend with a rifle.

Vlachos. Of course.

He's the head of one of the largest corporate empires in Europe.

Maybe he's planning a little expansion.

That turnoff's about six kilometers from here.

I hope they've got a telephone.

That meeting's about to start in 20 minutes.

[Chatter]

I see no reason for the delay.

I move that we proceed to the vote.

- [Man] Good idea. - [Others agreeing]

[Playing traditional music]

[Man laughing]

- Telephone? - Is there a phone anywhere?

Telephone?

[Man speaking Greek]

[Jennifer] Uh, excuse me.

A telephone. Do you have a telephone?

Do you know where there's a phone?

-[Chatter] -[Jonathan] All we need to do

is find some place where there's a telephone.

[Jennifer] This... tel...

[Man speaking Greek]

We're just looking for a telephone.

[Speaking Greek]

Uh, thank you very much.

- Telephone? - Is there a phone anywhere?

- Telephone? - [Speaking Greek]

No, no?

[Speaking Greek]

[Gun cocks]

- [Woman screams] - Uh, excuse me...

[music dies down]

Well...

Looks like we're all here for the finale.

Make a wish, darling.

[Chatter in Greek]

Ladies and gentlemen.

Mr. Eady's just been delaying the inevitable.

I'm calling for a vote, and I'm calling for it now.

[Phone buzzes]

- Yes? - [Chatter]

Yes, operator, I will.

Ladies and gentlemen,

I have a call from Jonathan hart.

[Jonathan, on speaker] Can you hear me all right?

You're coming through fine, Jonathan, but you'll have to code.

Hart code.

Jackal 15112.

- Okay, Mr. Hart, you're clear. - Gentlemen,

I understand there's a matter that requires my attention?

Did you make a good wish?

Right.

[Band playing stately march]

The way I figure it,

there's no possible way we can win.

[Indistinct shouting]

[Shouting continues]

- Ican't see? - I'm in the most catastrophic accident you could imagine!

With that dog, you can't drive!

-You win? I was in the gate! -I want to finish this race!

- You stupid... - Do you not understand?

The way I figure it,

we're the only ones that are going to finish.

We have to win.

[Men continue arguing]

Max, I'm gonna hand it to you,

I have been mugged, run into, delivered babies,

but this one really took the cake. [Chuckles]

The ride's on me.

Thanks, Nick, but Mr. H wouldn't allow that.

He doesn't want anybody to work for nothing.

Enjoy it while it lasts.

Once we get back, it's right to bed.

Is that the doctor's orders?

Let's leave the doctor out of this.

Hey, it looks like Mr. and Mrs. H are gonna make it!

You know, after all that's happened to us,

it hardly seems fair to win this way.

We've broken every rule in the book.

But we do it so well together.

[Both laughing]

- [Clunk] - [Both] Oh! Oh!

All right. Gently.

[Announcer] As the rules have changed,

the first car to cross the finish line wins.

In today's case, it will also be the last.

Our congratulations to Mr. and Mrs. Hart.

[March continues]