Original subtitles

This is my boss,

Jonathan hart, a self-made millionaire.

He's quite a guy.

This is Mrs. H. She's gorgeous.

She's one lady who knows how to take care of herself.

By the way, my name is Max.

I take care of both of them,

which ain't easy, 'cause when they met...

It was murder.

[♪♪]

[Barking]

[♪♪]

[Jennifer] No.

That's not bad.

That one?

[Clucks tongue]

Men are so difficult to buy things for sometimes.

And a pipe is such a personal thing.

Darling, which one do you think? Huh?

Uh, I don't think so.

Oh. That?

Perfect.

Perfect. Great.

All right, George, we'll have this one.

[George] Excellent.

Can't go wrong, Mrs. Hart. This is our finest model.

Your father will be very happy. I hope so.

Is he still at briarwood in Maryland? Yes.

Now, if you'll just fill this in.

I'll see that that pipe gets mailed off to him right away.

Thank you.

George, do you have any cigars?

I didn't know you were into cigars.

Oh, it's not for me. It's for Max.

I thought we'd get him a bon-voyage smoke for his vacation.

Ah, yes.

That is a nice pipe, darling.

These are from the negril area of Jamaica.

The finest. All right.

We'll take those.

And do you have something else that's maybe, uh,

very special?

I think I have just the thing.

[Door closes]

Perhaps the finest cigars in the world.

A friend sent them from Canada.

Canada?

I didn't know they made cigars in Canada.

Hmm. They're Cuban pleasures.

Uh, what you might call the lafite of cigars.

Ah, that smells good. Take a sniff of that.

[Sniffs]

Mmm, nice.

Why do they smell so bad when they're burning?

Actually, you'll find that a cigar of this quality

has a rather pleasant aroma.

Oh.

How come these don't come in one of those metal tubes?

Oh, interestingly enough, the really good ones don't.

Uh, but I'll fix this one up for traveling.

Unless, of course, you'd like the whole box?

Uh, I don't think we want to contribute to Max's bad habits.

Just one, George.

[Max] Three coffees coming up.

Café à la Max.

Oh, that's wonderful.

Great, Max. Look at that.

I thought I'd give you a surprise.

Cheers. Cheers.

Cheers.

Darling.

Mm. Mm.

Mmm. That is really good.

And now,

we have a surprise.

Now? Now.

Max...

That is a roundtrip, first-class ticket to Las Vegas,

plus five days in the presidential suite

at Caesars Palace hotel.

Gee... thanks.

And also...

Oh, and also,

we have a very special surprise for you from the smoke shop.

You like it?

[Sniffs]

Mm, this is great. A Cuban special.

I haven't had one of these

since Carmen and I cha-cha'ed the Caribbean.

[Both chuckle]

No.

I'm not gonna use this until after my killing.

When I light up this victory cigar,

everybody will know the game is over

and I've won.

Well, in that case, Max, we wish you a lot of luck.

How'd you know I was going to Vegas?

I didn't say nothing.

You always go to Vegas this time of year.

[Jonathan] Monday morning, you leave at exactly 8:30.

And you stay precisely five days.

Your life is like an open book, Max.

You're predictable, don't you know that?

Me, predictable?

Just like the sunrise.

Monday night you'll call and ask about freeway.

Tuesday night you'll call and ask about freeway and me.

And Wednesday you'll call and ask about freeway, Jennifer, and me.

Yeah, I do that, don't I?

You certainly do.

But that's only three nights. What about the last night?

The last night?

The last night,

you always call and ask about an advance on your paycheck, hm?

[Jennifer] You're very set in your ways.

Yeah?

What about yesterday when you and I went shopping

and I got that mad craving for ice cream?

[Scoffs] You want me to guess?

Mm-hmm.

You asked for pistachio...

Covered with chocolate sauce and peanuts, right?

Ah.

Well, I'm gonna pack.

Well, I suppose I didn't have to tell you that.

You knew that too.

Do you think we overdid it?

I think he's a little upset.

Nah, I think he'll be all right.

He'll cool down when he gets to Vegas.

[Max] Predictable, huh? Sure I'm predictable.

Where would we be without routine?

[Barking] Nowhere, right?

I can't see anything wrong with a well-ordered life.

Do you?

Predictable.

All that time I thought my life was in a groove.

Now it turns out it's just a rut.

Max, it's time you took charge of your life.

[Pushing buttons]

Hello? This is Max.

Put Freddy on the phone.

[Sighs] The smell of pancakes wafting in the air.

[Loud clattering]

Uh, darling,

go easy on me, will you? I'm trying to cut down.

How about cutting out altogether?

Cutting out altogether? No, no.

Monday is my day to have pancakes.

I always have pancakes on Monday morning.

I know, I know.

Max left me all the menus,

but I cannot find the pancake mix.

You don't think that Max might have hidden the mix

to get back at us for ribbing him, do you?

For telling him that he was predictable?

- Yeah. - No.

He wouldn't do that.

He knows how important your pancake fix is to you on Monday morning.

Yeah, you're right.

Why would I think of something like that? That's...

[Cabinet doors close]

Hey, I have an idea.

Hm?

Why don't we take a spin down to Larry's

and have a little breakfast?

They have wonderful pancakes.

Well, not as good as Max's, but one has to be adaptable.

I think I'll have blueberry.

[Doorbell buzzes] Mm, blueberry.

Yes? Milton Charles here.

United States health department.

It's imperative I see Jonathan hart right away.

[Intercom buzzes]

Mr. Hart? Right.

Milton Charles, health department.

How do you do?

What can I do for you?

I'm afraid it's rather serious. This is my wife, Jennifer.

How do you do? This is Mr. Charles.

Oh, Mr. Charles, won't you sit down?

Please.

I'm afraid your life is at stake.

My life is at stake? How?

You were in George wiesenkopf's tobacco store on Saturday?

Yes, we were.

Well, I'm sorry to have to tell you

Mr. Wiesenkopf died last night.

How terrible.

What happened?

He smoked a lethal cigar.

A lethal cigar?

A portion of the crop of tobacco used to make that cigar

was sprayed with a lethal pesticide.

Unfortunately, in some instances,

we arrive too late.

From your apparent good health, I've gotten here in time.

Jonathan...

From my apparent good health, but, uh...

I bought that as a present for the man who works for us,

and, uh...

He has the cigar.

Where is he?

He's in Las Vegas.

[Jennifer] He must've checked in by now.

I think we're fairly safe because, uh,

he was going to use it for a special kind of celebration.

He was gonna treat himself to the cigar if he won.

He likes to turn a card.

As long as you understand the seriousness.

This stuff is ruthless.

Drowsiness, coma.

The chemical attacks the central nervous system.

Once that's underway...

- Can we call him? - Yes, right now.

Is there an antidote?

If we catch them in time.

Hon, look what I found on the desk.

[Jonathan] "Play me."

[Max on tape] Hiya, Mr. and Mrs. H.

I've been thinking it over, and you two are right.

I am in a rut.

So I decided I ain't going to Vegas this year.

I'm gonna give up the desert for the sheltering palms.

Thanks to you, I'm gonna experience

something unpredictable.

Oh, yeah, Mr. H, thanks again for the cigar.

It's very classy.

I got a hunch it's really gonna change my luck.

[Tape clicks] Oh, my god.

I'm afraid your friend

is going to need all the luck he can get.

[Jonathan] Right. Yeah, that's right.

Yeah, thank you very much. I'd appreciate it.

The police are gonna put an all points bulletin out on him,

but they're not very encouraging.

Well, maybe someone in Max's phonebook

will be able to help us.

You know something interesting?

Almost everyone in here is a woman.

Well, Max likes to live dangerously.

Oh, the auto mechanic called.

He said Max took the station wagon in

for a tune-up before he left.

He said he always takes it in before he goes to Las Vegas.

That means he didn't take the car,

so he must've flown.

Which means he could be anywhere.

And smoking that cigar.

Not before breakfast, darling.

Oh, right. What's that?

Well...

[Jennifer] "Oopsa Daisy florist."

Yesterday.

That's worth a shot. What's the number?

555-2842.

Four dozen roses.

Hello? Uh, this is Jonathan hart.

Th... that's right. Uh, Max works for us.

Yesterday he sent some flowers.

It's very important that I know where he sent them.

Thank you.

- She's looking it up in the book. - I'll write it down.

[Sighs]

Yes?

A miss mayerling?

[Jonathan] 140 la mesa, Santa Barbara.

All right, that... what's that?

How is Max enjoying Vegas?

You know that he goes there this time of year.

Right, thanks very much.

Everybody knows he went to Vegas but Max.

[Ambient music playing]

Mayerling?

Do you recall Max ever having a friend called mayerling?

Never.

How much farther?

About an hour, I think.

- [Dog barking distantly] - [Flicking lighter]

Hey!

You wanna kill yourself?

- Put that damn thing out. - I'm sorry.

Blow us all up.

Lucky this is one of my regular smokes

and not my lucky cigar.

You'd be even luckier if you give them things up.

I didn't know this was an office visit, doctor.

- Mind filling it up? - Sure.

Which way is the nursery?

Half a mile up the road. On your left.

You know, can't say as I pegged you for the gardening type.

You got something to do with that flower show next week?

You could say that.

I'm planning to come out smelling like a Rose.

Uh-huh.

Where's your, uh...

Where's my what? Oh, it's around the corner.

Can't miss it.

[Eerie music playing]

- Hi, there. - Hi.

- Fill it up, will you? - Sure thing.

Want me to check under that hood?

- No, that's okay, just the gas. - Sure.

[Ominous music playing]

[Attendant] All right, there you go, mister.

That'll be $15.40.

- There you are. - All right.

What... but your change.

It's okay, keep it. But...

Well, hey, thank you.

[Ambient music playing]

- All set? - Yup, that'll cost you $8.10.

[Grumbles]

Eight dollars...

And ten cents exactly.

Thanks.

[Orchestral music playing]

What do you want?

I came to see the baseball exhibit.

Good luck.

[Ominous music playing]

Hey, Max.

Over here.

All right.

Glad you could make it, Max.

You're looking good. Looking good.

- Here we go. - [Indistinct chatter]

- [Man] Hey, Max. - Hey, guys.

Tommy Farrell.

- Hi, Max. - Hi, Tommy.

You and I played together in Atlantic city a few years back.

That's right, yeah.

- How you doin'? - Not so good.

I've been getting hands that look more like feet.

- This is Mickey. - Hiya, Mickey.

Hey, how are you, Max?

Gary.

Long time, Max.

Haven't seen you since Vegas, back in '75.

[Max] That's right.

This is Arthur.

Hiya, Max. Hiya, Arthur. Nice to meet you.

And this here...

This here is big Sam.

Charmed to make your acquaintance.

Well, thank you.

I hope you feel the same after the game.

Gary here's the one that organized this little party.

[Gary] I'm watching the nursery for my brother-in-law.

Lucky my bookie gave me Dave's number.

Hey, Max, you just caught me walking out the door.

I rode up last night with roaring Tommy.

I wanna tell you,

that's two hours of "Irish eyes are smiling."

Off-key.

Hey, what is this, a tea party?

Come on, come on, you gonna deal or not?

We better not keep Mickey waiting. After all,

his poker playing is gonna put my kids through college.

No more, buddy, no more. We've got fresh blood in the game now.

Yeah, there he is, there he is.

A real transfusion.

Let me have 500 bucks worth of chips.

Let me see how long that lasts.

Your luck's running like mine, about five minutes.

[Whistles]

Take a look at that heater, will you?

This guy must be real flush.

I've heard about these.

That had to set you back a sawbuck.

At least.

This is my victory heater.

I don't light this up until I cleaned all you guys out,

including the lady.

[Laughter]

[Ambient music playing]

[Sighs] I don't see anything that looks like a dance studio.

This is la mesa. There it is.

One four o, ariska mayerling dance studio.

Now I remember where I heard that name.

She used to dance with the Russian ballet.

[Woman] Preparation one...

Two... three... four.

[Speaking Russian]

Stretch.

Feet, feet, feet, point feet.

Fondu. Stretch arms, stretch.

And arabesque.

Hold, hold.

Terribly sorry to disturb your class. I'm Jennifer hart.

This is my husband Jonathan.

Oh, Jonathan hart, yes.

How do you do?

Max has spoken of you both so often.

How is dear Max?

We were hoping you could tell us.

Has he run away?

Uh, not really.

You might say we've misplaced him.

[Gasps] Ah.

Yes, I think of times myself the same thing.

Excuse me, girls, please, stretch.

Misplaced him, I mean.

Oh, yeah.

He, he's very special.

He is to us too.

And he may be in terrible danger.

How may I be of help to you?

The flowers that he sent to you.

Max is always sending me flowers.

But I have been away in Europe.

Next week I have a birthday.

Few days we have performance.

All kinds of reasons why Max would send flowers.

[Ariska] He's very dear.

I'm sorry, I don't know where he might be.

We'll go back into town and, uh,

check on some of his regular stops.

Thanks very much.

Please, Mr. Hart.

Find him.

He trusts you with his life, you know?

I know.

Thank you.

[Ambient music playing]

[Phone ringing]

Hello?

Yes, this is Mrs. Hart.

What?

I understand.

[Sighs]

Is Max dead?

[Sniffles, sighs]

[Whimpers] Oh...

[Eerie music playing]

[Man] As far as we can tell, Mr. Hart, your friend fell asleep at the wheel

just before the car crashed.

Police couldn't find his wallet,

but they traced your name and address

through the rental forms in the car.

If it's any consolation to you,

from my years of experience,

he didn't suffer any pain.

Death was...

Well, he probably never even woke up.

[Doctor] Uh, Mr. Hart?

Only one person is required to identify the body.

If you'd like...

Thanks.

Sure.

Darling, you wait here. I'll be right back.

No, no, I'll go with you.

[Ominous music playing]

That's not Max.

[Sam] It could be a straight flush.

And it could be a flush.

Or a straight.

And then it could be nothing.

Come on, come on, are we gonna play cards or are we gonna play cards?

I don't think she's bluffing, Max.

I'm out.

I think she's bluffing. I'm in.

[Sam] So bet, already.

Look, Sam, I've been waiting all night to smoke my victory heater

I think I got a chance, so give me some time to think it over.

Too bad about Dave tappin' out so early.

I hope he makes it okay in the fog.

It's nice he can drive Max's car down and turn it in for him.

You know, he's a nice guy.

Doing me a favor, he saved me a week's rental.

Money you could be betting even as we speak.

All right.

I'll see your 50,

and I'll bump you a hundred.

I call your hundred,

and bump you a hundred.

I was afraid of that.

Okay, I'll see you. I got a straight to the ace.

Sorry it had to be you, Max,

but I really have it: A gorgeous blushing flush.

- I almost had a royal flush. - [Low thud]

Maybe I'll smoke you after the next hand.

Come on, mix them up and deal.

Mr. Hart, Mrs. Hart, sorry to keep you waiting so long

but we just had a positive ID on the body.

Who is he?

His name's Dave Ryder.

Name ring a bell?

Lived alone. No family, no relatives.

That's all we have to go on.

We're no closer to Max than we were this morning.

I'm sorry, we're doing everything we can.

Well, thanks very much, lieutenant.

Well, again, I'm sorry.

Maybe I should make us some omelets.

No, no thanks, darling.

You know that Max,

- made me my first omelet? - He did?

He even taught me how to hold my fork right.

Wasn't for him, I wouldn't be here.

I know.

You remember how I told you when we first met,

when he dragged me out of that bar

when the police were coming in the front?

Yeah.

He helped me open up my first bank account.

Then he knocked my ears back

when I made a withdraw to bet on a horse.

You should've seen the expression on his face

when I bought that bank.

Oh, that was something.

- He took me to my first ballet. - I didn't know that.

He said, "hey, listen, kid,

you gotta experience everything.

And besides, those dames have got legs that don't quit."

Oh...

What a man.

What a man.

Well, as Max would say,

"don't play all your cards until the bets are made."

And if we hadn't kidded him so much about being predictable, he'd...

He'd still be safe.

That's it. What?

Predictable.

Predictable.

Why didn't I see that?

See what?

We're not thinking like Max.

He's not off doing something else.

He's off doing the same thing somewhere else.

Of course.

He even said so on the tape.

Something about the cigar bringing him luck.

He still intends to gamble.

Reno. Tahoe.

No.

He doesn't like the snow. Too cold.

Atlantic city.

Too far.

A local game.

[Jennifer] That could be anywhere.

Yeah, we'll just have to narrow the odds.

How?

Freddy.

His bookie, Freddy.

He'll know where the action is. You know him?

No, I don't. I mean, Freddy's always been like a telephone to me.

But one day,

Max took me by his place

because he had to pick up some harvest.

I think I can remember where that is.

Let's try it. Right.

King high, bet.

Fifty.

I'm out.

[Max] I'll see.

Pair of kings.

I knew it. [Sam chuckling]

Lousy Jacks.

Top pair, Max.

I don't know about you guys, but I'm really beat.

Yeah, me too. Hey, let's call it a night, huh?

You mean a morning.

How about a mercy round for the losers?

- We've already had five of those. - I'm with Tommy,

I haven't had a decent hand all night.

One more, huh?

Seven-card stud, no limit, everybody got a chance.

- No limit? - No limit.

Max, you're my kind of player. Deal.

Gimme a fresh deck.

Here you go, fresh deck of cards.

[Ambient music playing]

Freddy.

Francussi?

- Freddy francussi, please. - Mr. and Mrs. Hart.

You know who we are?

It's good for business.

Won't you sit down?

Thank you.

You're Freddy francussi?

Yes.

Somehow I expected a guy.

That was dad. He retired to Florida and left me the business.

I'm Freddy Jr.

[Freddy Jr.] So not what you expected?

No.

Computers and data links do most of the work,

it's just like hart industries.

Uh, now, were you interested in a particular bet?

Football, tennis,

the ponies? Polo ponies, of course.

We're not interested in making a bet.

What we need is some information.

We're looking for Max.

Well, isn't he at home?

He called me late last night

looking for some action in the area.

I thought he usually went to Vegas this time of year.

So did we.

Poker's not my action, but I put him onto a guy I know.

Who was that?

Uh...

If I gave you his number,

would you promise me not to tell him where you got it?

You have our word.

I'd hate to lose his account.

[Machine whirring]

His name is Dave Ryder.

Well, this won't be necessary, uh,

because, uh,

Mr. Ryder is dead.

[Paper hits desk]

[Ominous music playing]

Max, if you're in love with those cards

you can marry them tomorrow, but for now bet, huh?

You sure know how to get a guy.

Ah, that's what my Alfie always used to say,

may he rest in peace.

Well, my pair of fours are high,

but I'll check to the possible flush.

I'll check.

Possible flush bets a hundred.

I'm in.

- [Tommy] Are you in? - Too rich for my blood.

I'm in.

Well, I don't believe you.

I'll see that hundred,

and raise it a hundred. That's 200 to you.

I'll see the 200,

and raise 200.

That's 300 to you.

I'll see it.

You in?

- I'm in. - [Max] Three hundred to you

I'm in.

I'll see you.

All right, now down and dirty.

[Tommy] Make mine dirty.

What's the matter, Max? You got heartburn?

I not only got heartburn, I got club-burn,

- diamond-burn and spade-burn. - Oh.

Well, my pair of fours are still high.

I'll bet a hundred.

I'll call your hundred

and raise 200.

That's 300 to you.

I know it. I can count.

You?

I came to play.

I'm in, like 200, okay?

I'll see it.

Pot's right,

full boat, aces over queens.

[All] Oh, wow. Wow.

Thank you, gentlemen, and ladies.

Oh, wait just a second.

Four little fours.

Holy cow. [Laughter]

Wow. Wow.

[Indistinct chatter]

- [Mickey] Now the heater? - Now.

You've earned it, Max.

Allow me, Max.

A big smoke for a big winner.

Get a whiff of that, lady and gentlemen.

That is known as the sweet smell of success.

[Eerie music playing]

[Ominous music playing]

That's our only link to Max.

I hope the mileage can tell us something.

- I hope so too. - [Grunts]

23,156.

That's about 40 miles.

We're about 20 miles from la,

so that leaves 20 miles in the other direction.

One way or another.

No, that's too big an area.

Look at this.

"The blue lagoon motel."

It's a long shot.

Even long shots have got a chance.

Cheers, Max. [Chuckles] Here's to you, you lucky bum.

- Lucky. - Cheers.

You're lucky. You really had one tonight.

You were right about that cigar.

Thirty-five hundred bucks. Count 'em.

That's okay.

Oh! You all right, Max?

Who, me? Sure.

A little sleepy.

Past my bedtime.

It's past yesterday's bedtime.

Hey, listen, before we break up, do you want some breakfast?

No, thanks, Mickey, I'll take a pass.

I'm headed straight to my motel.

Listen, why don't you take my car, huh?

I'll get a ride with one of the guys.

Be careful, though. It's not paid for yet.

Look, Mickey, we got the rest of the week.

Tonight, you can get lucky, you can win yourself a rolls Royce.

Oh, sure.

Well, see you fellas later in the afternoon.

[Tommy] Hey, you almost forgot your cigar. Your lucky cigar.

Hey, that's right. I can't leave without that.

This baby made my night.

[Tommy] Take it easy, Max.

So long, Max.

Here it is. He checked in,

then he called back, maybe four or five hours.

Said, "save my room," that he was definitely good for the booking.

- Did he say where he was? - Nope.

Was there anything about the call that sounded unusual?

Like what?

Something that might indicate where he is.

Just who are you people?

He works for us.

He's a friend of ours and he's in a lot of trouble.

Did he say anything to you or give you any idea of what...

Well, he did say that he was having a good run

and if everything worked out, maybe he'd buy the motel.

Either gonna Rob a bank, or he's feeling his beer.

Thank you very much.

[Ambient music playing]

[Tires screech]

[Tires screeching]

[Tense music playing]

He's obviously tied up in a private game.

And winning.

Maybe we should try a hotel in town.

Why would he play in a hotel in town

and stay in a motel out of town?

That's reasonable.

[Tires screeching]

[Jennifer] Stop.

[Tires squeal]

Did you see that sign back there?

No, I didn't.

It said the sheltering palms nursery.

Max's tape.

What did he say?

He said "I'm giving up the desert for the sheltering palms."

It's up that road.

[Tense music playing]

[Tires screeching]

[Intense music playing]

[Tires squeal]

The cops.

Hey, wait a minute. You don't understand.

I understand you're trespassing.

Hey, look, we got serious business here.

You got no business here.

Ah!

[Grunts]

- Where's Max? - Who?

Max. Where is he?

-You mean you're not the cops? -No, we're the harts. Max works for us.

Now, where is he?

Well, he just left. Matter of fact, I loaned him my car.

He suddenly got very tired.

Did he smoke that cigar?

Cigar?

Yeah, I gave him a cigar. A special one. Did he smoke it?

Oh, yes. When he win big he lit it up,

just like he said he was gonna do.

Well, where did he go?

He went to the motel up on highway 92.

- Ninety-two? Right. - What kind of a car was it?

Uh, a blue Chrysler, four-door.

Come on.

[Intense music playing]

We're blocked. Let's borrow that truck.

[Tires screeching]

[Intense music continues]

[Tires screeching]

Isn't that Max?

[Jonathan] Looks like the car.

[Jonathan] He's swerving all over the road.

[Honks horn]

[Intense music continues]

[Honking horn]

He doesn't recognize us.

[Honks horn]

Hey, Max!

- [Horn honking] - [Jonathan] Max!

Max!

Max!

Max!

Max, pull over!

Hang on. What are you gonna do?

I'm gonna try one last shot.

Hold it, Max!

Max!

Go easy!

[Thump] Hang on.

[Jennifer] Max!

Oh, Max!

-It's all right, Max. We're here now. -Max?

Here's that cigar.

He couldn't have smoked much of it.

We'll get you to a hospital very soon, Max.

Everything's gonna be fine.

Hi, Mr. and Mrs. H.

I won.

Some luck, huh?

Yeah.

We're all really lucky today.

[Ambient music playing]

Max!

Are you sure you should be out of bed?

It's only been a week.

I'm fine, Mrs. H.

I was going crazy doing nothing.

Besides, you two guys are spoiling me rotten.

Are you sure?

Yeah, I'm feeling great.

Sit down, breakfast will be right up.

- [Jennifer chuckles] - What is today?

Today? It's Tuesday, why?

Well, Monday is pancakes.

If it's Tuesday, it must be eggs Benedict.

Ah. Right, Max?

Nah, you know what I think?

I think you two guys are in a rut.

- [Freeway barks] - So today,

I'm giving you English muffins,

poached eggs with a little hollandaise,

and some Canadian bacon.

- [Freeway barks] - Max,

- that is eggs Benedict. - [Max chuckles]

Max, you're right.

I think that Mrs. H and I

should be more adventurous, don't you, darling?

Of course.

Yeah, you should be more like me.

[All] Unpredictable.

[Theme music playing]