Original subtitles

[Max] This is my boss, Jonathan hart,

a self-made millionaire.

He's quite a guy.

This is Mrs. H. She's gorgeous.

She's one lady who knows how to take care of herself.

By the way, my name is Max. I take care of both of them,

which ain't easy,

'cause when they met, it was murder.

[Theme music playing]

[Steady beeping]

[Yells]

[Screams]

[Crows cawing]

[Tarzan yelling]

[Yelling continues]

Don't worry, kid.

Nothing's gonna happen to the chimp.

Wait till them poachers see what's coming their way.

Max, I thought we were gonna limit

freeway's television-watching until after dinner.

You know how upset he gets.

It's okay, he's seen this show before.

He knows what's coming next.

I hate to say it, Mrs. H,

- but your guest is a little late. - Oh.

I forgot to tell you. Nick called.

The plane had to go down in San Diego

because there was some sort of malfunction...

A spoiler malfunction.

Talking about spoilers,

I think my prime rib is on its way to pot roast.

Well, he said he's looking for an alternate means of transportation.

He'll be here soon.

San Diego is two hours away by car.

Well, there's always scrambled eggs.

Here are the rest of the brochures.

I've narrowed it down

to three weeks, trekking in the himalayas.

Listen to this.

"Tibetan monks guide you to this picturesque Abbey

that sits like a fortress on a mountain peak."

- Isn't that breathtaking? - Yeah, it's beautiful.

It's winter in the himalayas, isn't it?

Uh-huh.

Well, I mean, at those altitudes it's always winter.

Well, I was thinking of something that was further south.

- South? - Mm.

There's a fabulous dogsledding trip

through Antarctica.

- Antarctica? - Uh-huh.

That's a little too far south, don't you think?

- [Helicopter whirring] - What's that?

[Freeway barking]

It's a helicopter.

Well, Nick always had a flair for the dramatic.

[Telephone rings]

-Hello. -[Nick] Hey, you gotta be Max. How you doing?

Okay.

Hey, how you doing, pooch?

Uh, sorry if I, stirred up the petunias.

They like a big breeze once in a while.

The fact is, I usually put out the bedding

when I figure a chopper is coming by.

[Nick chuckles]

Mm. Whatever you're cooking, just keep up the good work.

I won't bother to announce you.

I think they heard your knock.

Sorry I'm late.

You must be Nick moran. I'm Jennifer.

Hmm. Who else?

Boy, do you live up to the advance publicity.

This guy's always got me off in some godforsaken place anyhow.

Come on in.

Right. Okay. Thanks.

- Hey, Nick, how are you? - Hey, Jonathan.

- Great to see you. - Good to see you. Thank you.

I'm glad that 747 broke down.

I hate to think what would happen to the swimming pool

- if you'd come all the way. - Would you like a drink?

Yeah. I didn't depreciate the real estate, I hope.

Oh, no, no. I was just on the phone

with the bel air patrol. They had seven complaints.

They were gonna organize a posse, but I took care of it.

- What would you like to have? - I'll take a beer with dinner.

I hate to rush you, but my flight back is in two hours.

With or without a plane?

[Crickets chirping]

Are you sure you don't want a glass?

No.

The stuff loses something in the translation.

Whoa.

Maybe you could bring me a pair this time, huh?

- Save some steps. - Okay.

I didn't figure you came all this way just to pay us

a social visit, Nick. Now, what is going on down there?

You know about the land scan project?

- [Plates clanking] - Yes, Jonathan told me all about it.

You're looking for minerals?

Exactly.

We launched a satellite. Nothing fancy.

What was it? Twenty million?

Yep.

I just paid NASA the bill.

Anyway, after we got the satellite up,

then we set up a receiver station on the ground.

The signals were bouncing back and forth just fine.

We thought we really zeroed in on a pot of gold.

- Gold? - Well, I mean, uh...

Zinc, copper, uh...

You know, some other less-glamorous elements.

Hey, thanks, Max.

Max, these are really good groceries.

I'll tell Julia child that you said so.

Everything okay, Mrs. H?

Perfect.

Maybe you ought to bring seconds, Max.

Or thirds.

[Max] I'm glad to see you're not a picky eater.

I just sent out for another cow as a standby.

You were telling us about the satellite

and the signals it was sending back and forth.

Oh, yeah. Well,

sorry to say, we had problems at first.

Electronic gear disappearing.

That happens. But last week...

Alan rankin...

Now, you remember him, Jonathan.

You hired him as our head geologist.

Mm-hm.

Well...

[Sighs]

Alan took this in the neck.

[Jennifer] How awful.

Was anybody with him, Nick?

An Indian guide.

Well, what happened to him?

Cleaved him, with a machete.

You don't think you stumbled onto sacred ground?

A burial site, maybe?

No, not according to our guides.

But you can't even tell when you're out there.

I mean, you could be standing on atahualpa's tomb

and not even know it.

Atahualpa?

Wasn't than an ancient incan god or a king?

Yeah, a king, he buried treasure and gold in a secret tomb.

People have been looking for it for centuries.

Our man who was killed, you think it was done

by somebody who blamed it onto the local tribes?

Exactly.

Now, look, I know it's risky, but the area is loaded with minerals.

What's the alternative?

I say we go on the offensive.

Send in some reinforcements. A troubleshooter.

You got anybody in mind?

[Nick sighs] Not offhand.

I'll give it some thought.

Look, I hate to eat and run, but, uh...

Think of how the neighbors will feel.

Anticipating your hasty departure,

I took the Liberty of brown-bagging

the strawberry shortcake.

[Nick] Hey, Max, you know, you're okay.

- [Max] Think nothing of it. - [Nick] Anything you want

from the jungle, anything, you just say the word.

Actually, I was thinking of sending you my head

to get it shrunk.

Dr. Halberstam is costing me a fortune.

[All laugh]

[Jennifer humming]

- What are you doing? - Packing.

Darling, do you want to take both your safari jackets?

Yeah.

Both my safari jackets to the himalayas?

No! Something a little south of there.

- I don't understand. - Darling.

Why should we stay up all night wracking our brains

over who we're gonna send to Peru?

Oh, no. No, no. That's not fair.

Now, you wanted to go someplace snowy and cold. At least dry.

I've already made the reservations.

We're booked on the flight to Lima,

with a connection to cuzco.

You'd better call Nick in the morning

and tell him to pick us up. Oh, and please tell him,

no helicopters, no litter bearers, nothing exotic.

An ordinary automobile will be just fine.

You know,

- you really are something. - I know.

I tell you what I'll do.

I'll take you to chamonix for two weeks when we get back.

- Okay? - Do you wanna take the mosquito repellent?

I think that's a good idea. You remember the last time,

when the mosquito netting leaked when we were in Kenya?

Oh, the mosquito netting was fine.

Everything would have been fine if you hadn't exposed yourself

- to the great outdoors. - Exposed myself?

Something like that.

Ah! My ears still haven't popped yet.

But then again, we are at 10,000 feet.

With or without a parachute?

- Very funny. - Thanks.

Is Nick's driver gonna be wearing a red carnation?

He'll find us. I'm sure that Nick told him

I'm with one of the most beautiful women in the world.

You always say the nicest things.

[Man] Mr. and Mrs. Hart?

- Yes? - David Ripley?

Believe it or not.

Yeah, well, every job comes with a different set of problems.

[Speaking Spanish]

Poison darts are pretty exotic.

Yeah.

Oh, this is beautiful.

Ripley, uh, do you think that, this the work of the Indians?

Well, Nick's got his own theories.

But all I know is dead is dead.

Ah, Mr. and Mrs. Hart?

- Yes. - Bienvenidos. I am the manager.

- How do you do? - Let me show you to your suite.

Thank you.

Will we see you later, then, Ripley?

Yeah, see you at the camp.

- Thanks very much. - This way, please.

Hi. Yeah, it's me. I just dropped them off.

He asked a lot of questions.

Well, I don't know. From what I've heard, hart's a pretty persistent guy.

You know, he didn't get that rich playing it safe.

Well, it's simple.

If he gets too close, I'll just have to...

Make my point.

Yeah.

[Jonathan] Thanks very much.

[Jennifer] Oh, darling, this is beautiful.

On a clear day, you can see the himalayas.

Ha! Maybe we'll even have some time to do

- some sightseeing. - Yeah, why not?

We don't have to meet Nick until 5:00,

so we could do a little exploring.

Good. Let's go explore the police station.

- The police station? - Mm-hm.

Darling, you're not going to want to buy any souvenirs

until you've gotten to the bottom of this.

Well, we could spare an hour or so.

We better go, then. Time's a-wasting.

- Inspector correa? - Yes.

Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Hart?

Yes. How do you do, inspector?

- Welcome to my country. - Thank you.

Oh, inspector,

what a beautiful collection.

[Correa] Oh, gracias. Wonderful, aren't they?

- [Jennifer] Yes. - My treasures.

But, alas,

they're imitations.

Those are reproductions?

Mm-hm. But they are marvelous.

Please, sit down.

- Thank you. - You know,

many of these fine artisans have earned a great deal of time

in prison for their efforts.

Inspector, you're familiar

- with our land scan project? - Oh, of course.

Then you know about our recent troubles?

Yes.

I came down here with the hopes

of getting some answers.

And I, senor, hope you have not come in vain.

Why do you say that?

Because you're looking for that needle

in the well-known stack.

Or a blow dart in the jungle?

Mm. Exactly.

I don't understand, inspector. You give a man

a heavy prison term for forging an ancient relic,

but you don't seem, very concerned about murder.

No, no, senor. I am concerned.

I do care.

We punish the guilty few we catch to discourage

the, uh, thousands of others

that we'll never have the pleasure of knowing.

What about discouraging one killer?

Ah, well.

I regret that in the jungle, death is, um...

A way of life.

That's not good enough for me.

What do you suggest I look for?

Perhaps, uh, ballistic identification

for a poison dart, or a machete that matches some incision?

What about a personal theory?

An educated guess?

Hmm.

You're a man who searches for minerals.

You have much competition for one mineral in particular.

Gold.

I find that it is an inspiration for much of our violence here.

I believe you will also find it so,

I mean, in time.

[Jazz music playing]

The desk says that Nick called.

- Ah. - Yeah. Shall we sit over here?

- And? - And he's going to be late.

I wonder how he's gonna be arriving.

Darling, my head still hurts.

Maybe I should have a very strong drink.

Uh, forgive the intrusion,

but might I suggest the traveler's delight.

It's quite tasty.

And fortified with azúcar, a native chocolate.

Thank you.

It, uh, infuses the blood with sugar,

to compensate for the lack of oxygen.

Oh.

Would you like to try one of those?

Yes.

What did you say that was?

Uh, traveler's delight.

Uh, bartender, could I have one traveler's delight,

and I'll have a vodka Martini, straight-up with a couple of olives.

Would you like something, sir?

Oh, no, thank you, senor, I have a drink.

Oh, forgive me. I am Dr. Villac.

I'm Jonathan hart. This is my wife, Jennifer.

- How do you do? - [Speaking Spanish]

- Archaeology, doctor? - Why, yes. Does it show?

That book on machu picchu.

Ah, the altitude has certainly not affected your eyesight.

I've always wanted to visit machu picchu.

You should.

That ancient city is one of the great wonders.

Well, I'm afraid our business won't allow us that pleasure.

Yes, I am familiar with your business.

I know your foreman, Nick.

Well, then you're familiar with our tragedies?

Yes. Terrible, terrible.

I wonder if we could find a table.

I'd like to talk to you, doctor. Do you have the time?

Yes. I'd be delighted.

[Indistinct chatter]

The police have suggested

that gold is the root of our troubles.

Well, senor hart,

I do not know how discriminating your probe is,

but, uh, gold is certainly a mineral.

Then you think it's possible we could've made a gold discovery?

Possible, but unlikely.

Why do you say that?

The gold mines of Peru are more man-made.

You know of the saqueadores de tumbas?

The grave robbers?

Looting the burial grounds has been

a thriving venture for many years.

The incas buried their dead with gold and silver objects

to use in the next world.

Like the Egyptians.

Well, gold was so plentiful in those days

that even the poorest incas were buried with some of it.

Jonathan and Jennifer,

- welcome to Peru. - Ah, Nick.

- Nick. - I'm sorry I'm late.

- Did you get my message? - Yes, I did.

- How was the trip? - Good.

A-ha, I see that you have met the eminent Dr. Villac.

Yes, he's been filling us in on the local color.

Uh, doctor,

what about the legend of atahualpa?

Ah, the supreme inca.

Nick told us that there was a treasure of gold buried in his secret tomb.

Yes. Pizarro promised him his freedom

if he would fill the room with gold.

But atahualpa was very suspicious of pizarro.

He sent word ahead to his caravan.

"Bury the gold. They're going to kill me anyway"

the story has gained great popularity

over the centuries.

For 30 years, I have known many men

who have searched for the gold of the incas,

some giving up their lives to the pursuit.

And some killing for it.

Hm.

You know, it's a possibility

that the land scan could've discovered somebody else's discovery.

But if someone had made that sort of a discovery,

they certainly wouldn't want to share it.

That is what is so exciting about my field...

Archaeology. The endless possibilities.

[Chuckles]

Ah. Forgive me.

I must forsake your charming company.

Senor.

- Senora... - A pleasure.

- Take care, doctor. - Good to see you.

Jonathan, would you like to take a look at the itinerary?

Sure.

- Darling. - Hm?

[Jennifer] I think I have to go lie down.

Chocolate milk gone to your head?

And my waistline.

- Oh. - Mmph.

[Jonathan] Maybe I better take you upstairs for a nap.

- I think so. - Uh, Nick,

we'll go over the logistics tomorrow on the way out to the place.

Sure. And I'll pick you up at 5:00 sharp, Jonathan.

- All right. - Good night, Nick.

Good night, Jennifer.

- Ah. - Ooh.

[Horn honks]

I'd like to know more about the treasure

of atahualpa, wouldn't you?

[Jennifer] Uh-huh.

You really are knocked out, aren't you?

I'm jet-lagged.

Chocolate-lagged.

Something-lagged.

Well,

this is your last chance to get me

before the attack of the killer mosquitoes.

- Darling. - Mm-hm.

Do you think that our love life would be seriously impaired

if we lived above 10,000 feet?

Sure would be one hell of a drop if we fell out of bed.

Oh, that's just silly.

Are you sleeping?

No.

I'm just resting before the flight.

[Nick] How'd you sleep, Jennifer?

[Jennifer] Like a log.

Only right now I feel like a log that's ready for the mill.

This is the good road.

How much farther we got to go?

Ah, miles don't tell the story out here, Jonathan.

Half hour, if we don't blow a tire

or bottom out in a mud hole.

Are we anywhere near where rankin was killed?

We're gonna hit the base camp first,

then backpack the rest of the way.

But we can make it.

Looks like we got a delay.

I don't suppose there's an alternate route?

Nope. This is it.

You got any chain?

Yeah. Got one in the back.

[Birds cawing]

[Rocks rumbling]

A little bigger than a blow dart,

but I get the message.

[Animals clamoring]

I was out when you radioed in. I'm sorry. What happened?

Well, we had a run-in with an oversized bowling ball,

and I think our Jeep took the worst of it.

Are you all right?

Yeah. Thanks to Jonathan, I just twisted it a little.

I could've been wearing the Jeep.

Nick.

Thanks, Jennifer.

[Grunts]

You know what I think?

What?

I think we were set up like tenpins.

You mean it wasn't an accident?

Jonathan checked out the ledge where the rock was launched.

It was natives, right?

In Abercrombie & Fitch boots.

Well, I guess they're not fooling around anymore.

I didn't think that they were before.

Listen, you're the boss, but it seems to me

that this project isn't worth fighting for anymore.

Well, this is a little personal to me, Ripley.

I don't like people getting killed,

especially when they're working for me.

- [Engine revving] - [Horn honks]

[Villac sighs]

[Groans]

Anybody home?

It's Dr. Villac.

Ah, senor Ripley.

Buenos días, eh?

I saw a Jeep on the road and...

Hey, senor hart, senora hart.

- Dr. Villac. - Doctor.

Were you in that Jeep?

Luckily, uh, we weren't in the Jeep.

Well, I hope no one was injured.

Well, Nick got his leg hurt a bit.

Uh, what can we do for you, doctor?

Well, I'm a bit embarrassed.

I think I left without enough water.

I wonder if I might borrow some from you?

- Sure. - Ah, thank you.

- Where are you headed, doctor? - To a small excavation,

east of machu picchu.

Might have been an outpost to the fortress.

Sounds exciting.

Do you think we could make it to that other site today?

Well, I'm no good for it,

but, uh, Ripley can get you up there. You still have plenty of daylight.

Shall we try that, darling?

I'm game.

Rip, gear up the burros for an overnight.

Will do.

If you're heading towards San chupo,

perhaps we can walk together for a bit.

Wonderful. Take care of yourself.

Bye-bye, Jennifer.

[Indistinct animal noises]

[Jonathan] You know what they say about the mountains of Peru?

[Jennifer] No, what do they say?

[Jonathan] It's all uphill from here.

[Monkey gibbering]

Well, thank you for your charming company.

It is not often I take a stroll with such a lovely lady.

Ah, thank you, doctor, and good luck to you.

- Adios, senora. Gracias. - Adios.

- Adios, heh? - Hasta la vista.

Ah. Thanks very much, doctor.

How about a drink of water?

Ooh. With a little twist of lemon, please.

Jennifer!

It's okay. I... it's okay. It's all right.

You have to be very careful.

Chicotillo.

It's one of the deadliest snakes around here.

I didn't even see it.

Yeah, well, they blend in pretty well.

They can leap as high as a man's waist.

Well, thank you.

Fortunately, they're very rare.

Is this what you were after?

[Ripley] What do you say we make camp here?

[Jennifer] Oh, I thought you'd never ask.

Well, we've only got about an hour of daylight left.

[Speaking Spanish]

You know I was looking at that ridgeline back there,

and I was sure it was over my right shoulder.

Now it's over my left.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

After a while, you don't know which end is up out here.

I think I'd rather lose my gun than my compass.

[Speaking Spanish]

Well, one thing's for certain. We know that the sun sets in the west.

Dinner will be ready soon.

Thanks.

Oh. Well, we're set.

Look at that. Isn't that a beautiful sunset?

Another shot of Irish?

Oh, no, thanks.

No, no, thank you. It is awfully good, though.

Yeah, it does seem to taste better

in front of the fire.

Well, what time are we taking off tomorrow?

Up with the birds.

How much farther is it?

Mmm. Couple of hours.

Oh.

Will you call us?

Of course.

Oh, dear.

I don't know about you, darling, but I think I'm getting

a case of your sleeping sickness.

Me too.

- Mm. - Ah, dear.

Well, rip. Would you mind if we turned in?

No, no, no. Not at all.

Darling?

Oh. Standing up is not too easy.

- [Ripley] Sleep tight. - Thank you.

Thank you. Good night.

Darling, are you asleep?

I think so.

Could you put out the...

[Groans]

- Darling. - Hm?

Come on, it's time for all good little camp fire girls

to rise and shine.

- [Jennifer mumbles] - [Grunts]

[Jennifer] Oh.

Oh, my head. I feel just awful.

[Jennifer] I don't understand.

How could they have just disappeared without us knowing?

With the hangovers we've got?

Ripley's Irish coffee.

- Oh, no wonder I feel so bad. - Not as bad as I feel,

knowing that Ripley is it, and we let him hang us.

Hold on a second.

- What are you doing? - They took our machete.

Empty. That figures.

So now we're lost in the jungle

without any weapons.

Yeah and not a dime to call a taxi.

Do you think we're gonna be able to find our way out of here?

I hope so.

Why don't we just wait?

Nick is bound to come and look for us.

No, we can't take a chance on that.

Ripley's already killed at least two people.

What's two more?

Well, if he was gonna do that, why didn't he just do it already?

It seems like he likes to have nature do

his dirty work for him.

Here. Look at that.

Tracks.

They went that way.

- But didn't we come from there? - Yes, we did,

but they must be going somewhere else.

Look at that. You see the edge in that print?

- Yes. - [Jonathan] That's the same

print I saw on the Ridge back where the Boulder came down.

Let's roll up that tent and take it with us.

We may need it.

[Dart thuds]

Drop it.

I don't want to have to shorten your blowpipe.

One scratch and you're dead.

[Both grunt]

Uh, wait up.

I got this.

Be careful.

[Both grunt]

[Sighs]

Look at this.

- Footprints. - [Jonathan] Our friend again.

[Machete slashing]

They're coming.

[Jonathan] Well, look at this.

Pretty well-equipped, hiding place.

[Water dripping]

[Jennifer gasps]

[Jonathan] Is that what I think it is?

[Jennifer] You're right, and what I think is

that we ought to get out of here.

We're better off in here than we are out there.

I hope so.

[Bats screeching]

[Both shriek]

- Oh, god. Oh, god. Oh. - It's okay.

It's all right. Take it easy.

[Jennifer whimpers] Oh.

Dead end.

Oh, please don't use that expression.

Wait a minute. Hold this.

There's air coming through here.

This could be a door of some kind.

[Jennifer whimpers]

[Jennifer] Darling, what's that?

[Jonathan] That could be the key.

Open sesame.

My, my, my.

- I can't believe it. - A genuine tomb.

Look at this. Matches.

And not of the period.

Here.

[Water dripping]

What's going on, Nick?

I've been trailing you since you left.

The leg was a fake?

[Nick] I had a gut feeling about this guy

that I just had to play out.

[Ripley] Gee, I'm sorry it had to end like this, Mr. Hart.

The other ways I had to stop you were so much more exotic.

Where is the lovely Mrs. Hart?

Here!

[Gunshot]

[Both grunting]

So, Ripley, how did you stumble onto this one?

He didn't, senor hart.

- Dr. Villac. - This is my discovery.

I chose to include senor Ripley

when I realized that your scan would expose my, uh, activities.

Now what?

Well, with your unfortunate disappearance in the jungle

at the hand of Indians,

I think it is certain that the board of hart industries,

will deem it prudent to close down land scan 3.

You're not just gonna kill us?

Ah, believe me, senora hart, it is not easy.

I am not a violent man.

It is what gold does to the mildest of men.

You know, villac,

there's a lot of people that know that we're down here.

Many people disappear in the jungle, senor hart.

Sometimes, their bodies are never found.

Cut the rope.

[Grunts]

Well, that should take care of everything.

Not quite.

- No, wait! No, no! - [Gun fires]

What was that?

That could've been the end of a partnership.

- Can you budge it? - No, I don't think I can.

[Nick] Jonathan, take a look at that candle. It's flickering.

[Wind whistling]

If there's another draft, there's another opening.

Here. Hold this.

Hold it right there, doctor.

You are very industrious, senor hart.

But I believe senor Ripley told me he relieved

your weapon of its ammunition.

I guess it's time you find out whether you believe

in Ripley or not.

Well, darling,

I think we've finally found something authentic

for the inspector's collection.

- Try this on, Mrs. H. - Mm.

This wasn't exactly right.

You know, it was a little off the Mark.

But I liked the whipped cream. That was a very good touch.

Let's see.

Mm.

Mmm. Mmm. Mmm!

[Chuckles]

That's it. Perfect. Oh.

I figured. And I used artificial chocolate milk.

- Mm-mm. Mm-mm. - It saves on the calories.

Mm-mm, no, no! You're supposed to use real chocolate.

It's the chocolate that creates the sugar

that then pumps all the oxygen into the blood.

That's the point of the drink.

There's plenty of sugar in that little number, Mrs. H.

I used a jigger of Jamaican rum,

a shot of Russian vodka, 190 proof,

not to mention a little overlay of crème de cacao.

I just got off the phone with Nick. We struck it big.

They had a signal he hit a big vein of copper.

It was really...

[Chuckling]

- What's this? - Max just learned how to make a traveler's delight.

For your himalayan trip, Mr. H.

- She says it works terrific in the high mountains. - [Jennifer] Oh, yeah.

The himalaya trip isn't for two months.

She wants a lot of extra thermos jugs of that stuff.

You have to plan ahead.

I was planning ahead.

- Darling? - Yes?

[Jonathan] Are you asleep?

Oh, no, no. No, I'm just practicing.

Shh. Shh.

Max.

You want a traveler's delight, too?

No, I don't want a traveler's delight, too.

How about some gin at a nickel a point?

You got it. I better turn off the blender.

[Theme music playing]