Original subtitles

This is my boss,

Jonathan hart, a self-made millionaire.

He's quite a guy.

This is Mrs. H. She's gorgeous.

She's one lady who knows how to take care of herself.

By the way, my name is Max.

I take care of both of them,

which ain't easy, 'cause when they met...

It was murder.

[♪♪]

[Barks]

[Christmas jingle playing]

[Freeway barks]

[Max] Hey, freeway, that's the Christmas spirit.

[Christmas jingle continues]

[Ominous music playing]

Here you go, freeway.

Your very own Christmas tree,

from me to you. You like it?

[Freeway whimpers]

[Freeway growls]

What's up, freeway?

You're right. Something's wrong.

[Freeway barking]

[Faint cough]

Mr. and Mrs. H, you up there?

[Sniffs] Something's burning.

[Glass breaks]

[Ominous music continues]

[Both in unison] ♪ happy birthday to you ♪

♪ happy birthday to you ♪

♪ hap... ♪ ♪ You're one in a million ♪

♪ happy birthday to you ♪

♪ and many more ♪

Yay!

[Jennifer] Happy birthday, Max. Blow out the candles.

- Surprise! - Surprise! Happy birthday!

What the...

Ernie. Lou.

Big Miller,

the only bookmaker in the world with a heart.

Hey, as long as I'm here, uh,

how about a little bet on the Lakers tonight?

[Guests hollering]

Thanks. I love you guys.

- Max, we love you too. - We love you too.

[Jazz music playing]

And now the cake.

Hey, Max. You just went off your diet.

Max, since your birthday is so close to Christmas,

we figure you always get shortchanged out of a party.

And we didn't want that to happen this year.

When I walked in, I knew something wasn't on the up and up.

[Jazz music continues]

Uh, I'd better open the gate for the other guests.

- There you go, Ernie. - Bless you.

- Happy days. - Thank you.

How long have you and Max known each other?

Oh, are you kidding? We were high school buddies.

Ernie stole my steady girlfriend.

And you know something,

I've been miserable about it ever since.

I married her.

[All chuckling]

Thanks, loads.

This woman is always sneaking up on me.

- Ooh... - Come on.

[Crickets chirping]

Okay, everybody.

Max is gonna open his presents.

- Yeah. - All right.

Come on, presents. Come on.

I feel like the birthday boy.

Well, that's what you are, Max.

Which one should I open first?

Oh, start with mine. Right here.

It's the smallest,

oh, naturally.

Hey.

Five-year subscription to my favorite literature,

the daily racing form.

A gift that keeps on giving.

And taking.

How about this one?

Take a wild guess who gave you that.

Oh-ho.

Hey, it's a movie poster.

Oh.

A star is born.

That's the original, with Janet gaynor and Freddy march.

Remember we took, uh...

- The needleman sisters. - The needleman sisters

- to see this film. - Yeah, can you imagine that?

They thought we brought them to watch the movie.

- Uh, cool it, Ernie. - Oh, yeah. I'm sorry, honey.

[Doorbell rings]

Uh, Max, that must be more of your guests.

Why don't you go play host and answer the door?

Certainly, Mrs. H.

[Both in unison] We're the folks from jinglegrams.

But before we start,

this birthday performance is from Mr. and Mrs. Hart.

[Jennifer] Come on in, you two.

Max, come on, over here.

Now, Max, you're the birthday boy

so you have to stand right in the middle.

Max, spin me.

With pleasure.

[Ukulele playing]

♪ Max the cook won't go by the book ♪

♪ he once tried cooking veal ♪

♪ but it wound up in freeway's cup ♪

♪ let's spin the wheel ♪

Eighteen, come on, 18.

Eighteen?

That's how old I feel tonight.

Yeah, baby.

- Yay! - [All cheer]

- Chips for Max. - Oh, thanks.

I'm taking this wheel to Vegas.

Oh, but it's my wheel.

That's okay, you can come too.

Oh.

Ooh. Easy, Max. Easy.

[People chattering]

[Man] ♪ horses, poker Blackjack too ♪

♪ any game anyone deals ♪

♪ that's where Max's money goes ♪

♪ now spin the wheel ♪

[Wheel spinning]

[Max] Four. Come on, four.

♪ Max spends Jack at many a track ♪

♪ his system is ideal ♪

♪ he loses dough win, place or show ♪

♪ Max, spin the wheel ♪

Nine. Come on, nine.

[Guests sigh]

[All laugh]

You know, I think we picked the right toy for Max.

The, uh, wheel. The wheel.

Oh.

For Max, the winner.

[Guests cheer]

Hey, are they terrific?

You know, he happens to be my sister Kate's kid.

- The girl's good too. - Yeah, they just got married.

I guess, that makes her my niece, right?

You got a nice niece.

[Guests applauding]

[Jennifer] Oh, good.

- That was wonderful. - Thank you.

[Jonathan] Would you like to join us for some cake,

ice cream, coffee?

- Sure, thanks. - Love to.

Come right in. Ernie said you kids were good,

but, I didn't think you were that good.

You were really wonderful.

How long you been doing this?

Not very long.

We've been with jinglegrams about a month.

A month, oh.

Your uncle Ernie also said that the two of you

we're starting a ballet company.

Well, we're just getting it started.

We're turning an old rehearsal hall

into a dance studio.

The money we're making at jinglegrams will help us with the remodeling.

Uh, well, maybe we could stop in and see it sometime.

- Great. - Well, how about tomorrow?

Tomorrow, um, how about tomorrow?

I think we can make that. There you are.

- Thank you. - [Ernie] Great party.

What a great par...

- Hey, listen, didn't i...? - Oh, Ernie.

Oh, I'm sorry, Jonathan.

I, I didn't... somebody get some soda water, please.

- I'll get it. - Darling...

- Oh, I feel like such a... - we're loaded with warm water around here.

- I'll be right back. - Yeah, really, I'm sorry, Jonathan.

[Jonathan] It's all right, Ernie. Don't worry.

[Ominous music playing]

Next, please.

- Name, please. - Big Miller.

Big? Is that your legal name?

Aloysius?

Big Miller.

Line of work?

I'm a, uh...

Arithmetical sporting prognosticator.

Bookie.

Did you see anybody going upstairs tonight?

Uh, just Mr. Hart when Ernie spilled

the chocolate ice cream on him.

- I heard it was vanilla. - You want to bet?

Not with you. Thank you, you're excused.

Ah, Mr. and Mrs. Hart.

Good night, big. Thank you.

I'm sorry everything turned out so badly.

I'll be talking to you.

Uh, these are the insurance papers.

- Oh, good. - Uh...

This is the jewelry.

And this, uh,

bracelet, it has particular sentimental value.

Okay.

It's the first Christmas present I ever gave

to Jennifer, so anything you could do lieutenant,

would be most appreciated.

Okay, we'll do the very best we can.

You know, Jonathan, it's a good thing you stopped that crook

before he stole anything else.

Do you have any suspects?

Well, there are three million residents in this county

but perhaps somebody stuck in from out of town.

I'll be in touch. Good night.

Uh, good night, lieutenant.

- Good night, lieutenant. - Good night.

- Max will see you out. - [Lieutenant] Okay.

Well...

How about a couple of brandies?

No.

How about a snuggle by the fire?

That's the best offer I've had all day.

Oh, dear, what a night.

- Oh, I'll say. - Hmm.

Brandy, Mrs. H, Mr. H?

- Oh, thank you, Max. - Thanks, Max.

I'm sure none of my friends was involved.

We're sure too, Max.

I'm turning in, good night.

- Night. - Night.

[Mellow music playing]

Come over here and snuggle up.

- How is that? - Oh, that's good.

- We'll get the bracelet back. - I hope so.

Remember our first Christmas together?

Oh, oh, oh.

Moose lake lodge.

Sixteen below zero, no heat in the room,

and a blizzard closing the road to town.

How did you ever pick a room at moose lake lodge?

- Because they're famous. - Famous for what?

Famous for being snowed in.

- Oh, no. - Mm-hmm.

You mean, it wasn't an accident?

An accident?

An accident? You're kidding. You pay extra for that.

That was the perfect way to get stranded with you.

- Oh. - Mm.

[Phone ringing]

[Ms. Hopkins] And thank you for calling jinglegrams.

Oh, afternoon, Mr. Billingsley.

And a joyous holiday season to you too.

[Phone ringing]

[Ms. Hopkins] Merry Christmas. Jinglegrams.

[Phone ringing]

Hello.

Have you seen the afternoon paper?

No, what's in it?

Our jinglegrams people were entertaining last night

in a very fine home.

Mr. and Mrs. Jonathan hart, I might add.

- So? - So Mrs. Hart's jewelry was stolen,

while my entertainers were singing birthday greetings.

It seems the thief used the same method of operation

we planned to use on Christmas night.

- I'm sorry. - You fool.

We've been planning Christmas for almost a year.

I've placed my jinglegrams people in five homes,

each with a precious Jewel in it.

And you try a damn dry run?

The hart dry run is gonna net us a hundred grand.

Oh, a hundred grand.

I've got the beaumont Ruby set up.

And in the eberly house, the Marquis diamond.

I am talking about a one million dollar heist in one night,

and you settle for bus fare.

So I'll lay low till Christmas night.

You do that.

[Ominous music playing]

Well, Ms. Hopkins, I'm going down to the coffee shop.

- Right, Mr. Billingsley. - [Phone rings]

Merry Christmas. Jinglegrams.

- [Jennifer] Hello. - [Wayne] Hello?

- Hi. - [Wayne] Hey,

- Mr. and Mrs. Hart. - [Maureen] Hi

well, we promised we'd come by today.

Great. You feeling a little better, Mr. Hart?

Yes, I am. Thanks very much, Wayne.

- Great. - Oh, this is wonderful.

Well, we've got our work cut out for us, don't we?

Are you going to, uh, continue

the rest of the bar along the back wall?

Yeah, we're gonna have bars back here

and, on this wall, we're gonna have mirrors.

- Oh. - Well, it's really coming along.

Yeah, and then we're gonna have some dressing rooms out back

- for the students. - Oh, good.

When do you expect to have it finished?

Well, we're shooting for six weeks.

Well, listen, I guess Maureen and I aren't as good

a jinglegram team as we thought, huh?

Don't say that. Everybody loved you.

Well, not everybody.

Somebody got bored with our act

and decided to take a tour of your bedroom.

Ah, don't worry about that. The police will check all of that out.

They're taking fingerprints now.

Yeah, we're real sorry about the robbery

and, you know, we hope you get everything back.

Thanks very much.

I wish there was something we could do.

The police will take care of it.

- Uh, darling. - Huh?

I'd better get you out of here before you start wanting to take class.

- Come on. - [Sighs]

Darling, do you think we could talk to...

- To Stanley freezon. - Mm.

We have a fellow in our office

who handles special kind of projects and, uh...

I think he'll find a little money for the arts.

All right?

Oh, no, thanks a lot, Mr. Hart but we couldn't take...

Ah, it'd our pleasure, really.

No really, we couldn't take it.

Yes, you could.

Thank you.

[Ms. Hopkins] Merry Christmas. Jinglegrams.

Jingle and mingle, in all the right places.

Let me check the calendar.

Miss Hopkins, could I ask you

- if you know when I'm gonna...? - Give me a minute, Wayne.

No, we don't have any mud-wrestling elves.

Sorry.

Do you know when I'm booked next, because...?

Oh, bless you.

Wayne, Mr. Billingsley, doesn't want his files opened.

I think you should wait till he returns.

- [Phone rings] - Couldn't I just take a look?

Oh.

Hold, please.

Well, just this once, I guess is all right.

Go take a peek, uh, before the old pill gets back.

But don't mess up his files.

Thanks.

Oh.

Uh, jinglegrams.

Yes.

Just give me the name of the restaurant, the address,

and the time you want lolita to hop out of the cake.

[Phone rings]

[Ms. Hopkins] Merry Christmas. Jinglegrams.

We jingle and mingle at all the right places.

[Ominous music playing]

[Phone rings]

Can I help you, Wayne?

Mr. Billingsley, uh, no. I, I was just...

That's all right. I'll tidy up.

If everybody came trampling in here,

our files would be chaotic.

I was just hoping to be solidly booked

for the next few weeks. I need the money.

Wayne, I was just reading in the papers that, uh,

you and Maureen appeared at a party last night

where a robbery took place.

- You're not saying that you think... - oh, of course not.

I just hope you didn't implicate this firm in any way.

No. No, no, sir.

We knew nothing and that's exactly what we told the police.

Good lad.

This firm's reputation is our calling card into the finest homes.

Wayne,

I realize you haven't been working for us very long,

but I've been meaning to say how impressed I am with you.

- You are? - Yes, I am.

And the scuttlebutt in the office is that, uh,

you're trying to help your bride's ballet company.

You know, I've been looking for a tax shelter.

Maybe Maureen's dance company would be a good idea, huh?

- We're fixing up the old demille rehearsal studio... - why don't I stop by,

say, in an hour?

I might put her troupe into business

sooner than you planned.

Maureen would be so happy...

Let's just keep it our secret for now.

It'll be a surprise.

- Okay. - I'll see you in an hour.

- Oh, it's so good to be home. - I'll say.

Now I know why Santa claus lives at the north pole.

- Why? - So he can avoid the crowds

at the stores.

Max, we're home.

That was pretty good, wasn't it?

Yeah, that was great.

- Oh, my feet. - I have one question.

What?

Why isn't my name on your Christmas list?

Oh.

That's because your present, is in the house.

Oh. Do I get to unwrap it?

Don't you always?

[Max] Two hot buttered rums.

Oh, Max, that's great. Why don't you join us?

Thanks, but I have to wrap freeway's present

while he's snoozing so he doesn't sniff it.

By the way, Wayne called about a half an hour ago.

The fellow from jinglegrams.

[Max] He said it's very important.

Did he leave a number?

Yeah, I wrote it down on the racing form.

So?

So I had eight losers and I used the racing form to start the fire.

Well, eight losers certainly make a nice fire, Max.

I'll call information. Cheers, darling.

Cheers.

Mm.

- Good one, huh? - Great.

Could I have the number of jinglegrams, please?

Right. Thank you.

[Clears throat]

May I speak to Wayne Tucker, please?

Do you have a home number on him?

Okay, thank you.

The answering service.

They don't have a home number on him.

So, I guess, if it's really important,

he'll call back, so we'll just wait.

Hmm.

No, Maureen, Maureen, I did. I called the harts

and I said it was very important.

Do you think I should call lieutenant Warren about the files?

Okay. All right, I'll see you at home by 6:00.

What's so important that you have to call the police?

Uh, nothing. I... I was just hoping

that the police found the harts' jewelry.

How nice. And what have you found?

- Me? - Mm-hmm.

Uh, nothing, sir.

Mr. Billingsley, uh, Maureen and I are very grateful

for your interest in Maureen's dance company.

Nice try.

Who are you?

Wayne, how do you explain our finding Mrs. Hart's jewelry here?

I didn't steal it.

You brought it here.

I know something wasn't right in your files.

I should've called the police right away.

You were just too nosy.

Locations of jewels you plan to steal Christmas night.

Wayne, it happens all the time.

New people just starting out,

can't make ends meet. The result, crime.

[Grunting]

[Tense music playing]

Oh! Ah!

I'll finish him off. I've got a better idea.

- But our plans were... - Plans?

When do you follow plans?

Put the gun away.

Instead of shooting him...

Wayne is the thief,

realizes he's going to get caught,

can't stand the thought of facing his dear Maureen.

So, this is what he does:

[Ominous music playing]

Let's get out of here.

- I got an idea. - What?

Ernie, he must have Wayne's home number.

Well, what about the rehearsal hall? He said he's always there.

- What was the name of that? - Uh,

the demille rehearsal hall in west Hollywood.

- How do you remember that thing? - I'm so smart.

The number of the demille rehearsal hall, please.

In, uh, west Hollywood.

Thank you.

- [Phone rings] - [Wayne groans]

[Gas hissing]

- [Wayne grunts] - [Ringing continues]

[Ringing continues]

Wayne?

Help, help.

[Moans]

Wayne?

[Ominous music playing]

Get your shoes on. Something's wrong over there.

[Ominous music continues]

[Eerie music playing]

Lucky thing for you two, you didn't make it inside.

- Any idea what set it off? - Yeah, probably this.

- That's my jewelry. - Mm-hmm.

- The bracelet. - Consider that a loan.

I'm gonna need that as evidence in the trial of Wayne Tucker,

if he survives.

- And you found that on Wayne? - Well, we pulled him out

of that rehearsal hall and that jewelry was on him yes.

But he couldn't have stolen it.

He was genuinely concerned about our robbery.

Uh, Jennifer, forgive me,

but when we have a case involving stolen jewelry,

and you find the jewelry on someone at the scene of the crime

and that someone seems to have taken gas...

Forgive me, but aren't you jumping to conclusions?

All right.

When and if the kid survives, maybe he can say something to clear himself.

But unless and until that happens,

I'm gonna treat him as the guilty party.

Excuse me, lieutenant, could I talk to you

- for a moment. - Yeah, sure.

Darling...

Doesn't seem possible, does it?

They were just married,

he was helping her work to put this all together,

and then he, uh, wants to get rid of it all?

Take his own life?

Mm. Doesn't add up.

You know, it is possible,

a thief could've broken in there,

left the jewelry, tried to frame him,

to close the case.

Mr. and Mrs. Hart.

Maureen.

I don't know how this happened, but I do know Wayne

and he is not a thief.

He said found something in the files at jinglegrams.

Didn't he talk to you before this?

He did try to get in touch with us, yes.

I told him to call the police right away.

Okay, Mrs. Tucker, we're gonna have to go downtown.

- What for? - "Accessory" will do.

We'd only bail her out.

Wouldn't it be easier if we guaranteed that she'd be available to you.

All right, Jonathan, on behalf of the police department,

merry Christmas. Available.

Merry Christmas, lieutenant.

- [Jennifer]Good morning, Max. - Morning.

- Morning, Max. - How did you sleep, Maureen?

Okay, considering.

We called. Wayne's condition is...

Uh, unstable, but he's still conscious.

We called too.

If you don't like that, Maureen, Max can make you something else.

Oh, no, this is fine.

But I still don't understand all this.

If Wayne stole to get my ballet company started,

wouldn't he have mentioned it to me?

Not if he didn't do it.

We don't think he did do it.

But the police have given our house and your rehearsal hall

a thorough going over.

[Jonathan] And they won't reopen the case.

Maureen, did Wayne say anything to you about what he saw

in the jinglegram files?

No.

Just that he was suspicious.

How did you and Wayne,

wind up working for the jinglegram people?

We saw their ads in newspapers.

You just came in off the street?

Off the street.

Max, uh, could I see the paper?

What are you thinking?

I'm thinking, that we might give jinglegrams a little visit.

[Ms. Hopkins] Sorry, our people don't work naked.

I suggest you call rent-a-nude.

Help you?

Bless you.

We read your ad in the papers.

We'd like to become jinglegram performers.

- We're very talented. - Yes, I can do Cary Grant.

"Oh, I love you, my darling. Yes, I do."

Go ahead and do some Cary Grant for me.

Is anything available?

Well, it's the height of the season

and we can put you on the reserve list.

- Uh, names? - Uh, la fong.

Uh, Carl and portia la fong.

J... j... just fill this out and, uh, give it to me.

Oh, uh...

[Both sneeze]

- Bless you, ladies. - Oh, dear.

Oh, thank you.

Are you sure there isn't anyone else we should see?

- Mr. Billingsley? - Oh, he, he's not back yet.

Oh.

Uh, is there a lady's room around?

And it's just down the hall.

Here's the key.

Oh, thank you.

Uh, this form,

uh, do you put the first names last?

Some people do, the last name in the middle...

- Or the first name... - What does it say?

It says to put the last name where the...

[Jonathan] I can't tell. Look...

Look, look, look.

La, la fong goes here...

[Eerie music playing]

You put my name where my phone number's supposed to be.

Oh, that's my last form.

Wait, I'll go and get some more from Mr. Billingsley.

That's all right. You don't have to...

Come back here. It's okay, we'll come back another day.

No, it's all right.

Just fill in your name any place and take these.

Uh, you mean that we're booked?

[Ms. Hopkins] We can always use a backup king Kong and fay wray.

A backup king Kong and fay wray.

Oh, that's much better.

If our regular team is booked,

and we need another team, you go to bat.

Now, just make sure he, uh, beats his chest

and, and you, you scream.

Uh, we take this and attach it to your form

for a reference.

Now... Here's your little script.

But you two remember,

he beats his chest, and you...

- God bless you. - God bless you.

Turn up anything in there? It's what I didn't turn up.

The file for Christmas day is missing.

And the rest of December and January doesn't exist.

Well, with Christmas only a week away,

and that being their busiest season,

the la fongs are bound to get a call.

Unless, of course, jinglegrams, is in a different kind of business.

[Ambient music playing]

- [Crickets chirping] - [Orchestral music playing]

Well, what do you think, Max?

Mr. and Mrs. H, it's gorgeous.

- Thanks. - Thanks.

You know, I sat by the phone all day,

ready to take a call for Mr. and Mrs. La fong.

I'm afraid you struck out.

I know.

Mrs. H, do you think a lot of these jinglegram people were involved,

or only a few?

Well, that's hard to say.

Maureen and Wayne weren't, if you want my opinion.

I'm sorry, Mrs. H.

The police and the jury, don't want opinions.

They want facts, facts, facts.

You know, if they want facts,

- maybe we should give them some. - How?

- What do you mean? - Wayne and Maureen,

created a diversion, and came into our house,

and we were robbed.

[Jonathan] Now, suppose we staged a party,

and left some beautiful item,

for them to steal.

Maybe we could flush them out of the woodwork again.

Great.

But we'd need to have a house. We couldn't use this one. They already know it.

I spoke to Johnny windhurst's Butler.

Johnny is skiing in Aspen.

His house will be empty for a week.

- Are you sure? - Yeah.

All right, we have the house.

Now, how about the diversion?

Max...

You are going to give a great big party.

It'll be my pleasure.

And you know what we can do, is we can make sure

that the first-string gorilla and fay wray are booked.

So that when Max calls,

he gets the gorilla and fay wray,

and you know who that is. That's us.

You're sure you can get Johnny's house?

Mrs. H, we butlers are as thick as thieves.

So I've heard.

[Slow music playing]

[Max] The party is December 25th.

And I've heard about your jinglegram players.

I told you, Mr. Billingsley is handling Christmas day

and he says we're completely booked.

I am pandro s. Cashman.

I intend to use the occasion,

to donate to the Hollywood museum

the original rosebud sled,

used in the film citizen Kane,

valued at a $100,000.

Excuse me, Mr. Cashman.

I'm Mr. Billingsley, the owner of jinglegrams.

Oh, glad to know you, sir.

How do you do? Uh, we'd be happy

- to arrange anything you need. - Oh, thank you, sir.

By the way, I happen to be an old movie buff,

and I'd love it, if your jingle folks would be

fay wray and king Kong, when they show up.

Why, certainly. Uh, Ms. Hopkins,

would you get hold of the norvos, please?

Oh.

Uh, I've booked the norvos elsewhere.

But another couple applied for work,

and I gave them the costumes.

Oh, very good.

We'll make it a four o'clock performance, then.

Nice meeting you, sir.

I'll call you about the details.

By the way, here's my card.

Oh, thank you.

[Max] Nice meeting you, sir.

Mr. Cashman.

I'll call the entertainers, uh, whoever they are, personally.

- Yes, Mr. Billingsley. - Thank you.

Bless you.

We're squeezing one more gala into our Christmas festivities.

A sled worth $100,000.

Ooh, that sounds too good to pass up.

That's right.

Now I have to call these poor show folk,

who will unwittingly create the diversion.

The la fongs.

La fongs.

They seem familiar.

[Tense music playing]

What are you looking for?

So, getting their bracelet back, wasn't enough for them, huh?

They came in here looking for work to set us up

with a phony party.

Trying to get Wayne off the hook.

Yes, and us on the hook.

We call off our Christmas day shopping spree?

We've been planning Christmas for the last 364 days.

We'll not only steal the sled,

we'll make sure it's Mr. and Mrs. Hart's

last Christmas.

[Christmas jingle playing]

[Max] Of course, moviegoers saw rosebud burn.

But this is still rosebud.

How? Movie magic.

They still had another scene to shoot

with the sled in it

after rosebud was burned,

so they built this one.

And now, this is the one and only existing rosebud.

[Guests applauding]

It looks like Max has effectively set the trap.

Wasn't it nice of Mrs. Langworth to loan us rosebud?

Hmm.

Let's just hope that the bait that he left

at the jinglegrams office is also effective.

Thank you.

[Christmas jingle playing]

- Sir? - Oh, thank you.

Oh, hello, lieutenant. Having fun?

Now, how can I have fun when I'm supposed to be looking

for a crime that isn't gonna happen?

You just keep your eye on rosebud

during our recital.

Your recital?

Now, that's a crime.

All right, darling, we go on soon.

You better put your head on.

Give me a hand with this, will you?

Oh.

Okay.

- You know, I'm ape over you. - Oh, that's cute.

How would you like to meet me on top of the empire state building?

Would you quit?

There's a side room, next to the living room.

I'll wait there for two minutes, then come out and start chasing you around the house.

All right, just make it look good.

We want all eyes to be on us and not the sled.

Have I ever had any trouble chasing you before?

Now give me an ape kiss. Ooh-ooh-ooh.

- Would you get out of here? - [Mimicking ape]

Go.

[Christmas jingle continues]

Jennifer, I just got a phone call from the hospital.

Wayne came to and told one of my men

that it was the head of jinglegrams who tried to kill him.

Billingsley?

I've got to tell Jonathan, right away.

Thank you, lieutenant.

They've got the police here.

We're facing an attempted murder charge.

- How do we get out of here? - Take it easy. We're waiters.

Just head for the kitchen.

I'm sorry, pal. But I go this alone.

And he said, "wobble it a bit, I'm getting it all."

Mr. Cashman.

Oh, pardon me for a moment.

I just spoke to lieutenant Warren.

Wayne came to in the hospital and said it was billingsley

that tried to kill him.

So that changes things around a bit.

Now our thief is wanted for attempted murder.

Be careful. I'm gonna warn Jonathan.

[Grunting]

Oh, stop that.

I just talked to lieutenant Warren.

He said that Wayne came to in the hospital

and said it was billingsley that tried to kill him.

You still want to go through with this?

Uh-huh.

All right.

- [Growling] - [Screaming]

Help! King Kong!

Oh, that's enough, enough.

You can put me down now.

[Ralph] Shut up or you're dead.

You're not Jonathan.

- [Growls] - Help!

Oh, somebody help me! Help, help!

Oh, help!

[Jennifer] Help, help, help!

[Guests laughing]

[Breathes out deeply]

[Screams] No, help!

Help! Help, help!

How did you get changed so fast?

Yeah, where, where's your gorilla suit?

- Where's Jennifer? - Hey, he's got Mrs. H.

[Intense music playing]

[Tense music playing]

[Siren wailing]

[Tires screeching]

[Tense music continues]

[Tires screech]

[Ralph] Out. Out. Come on, move.

Let's go.

- [Theme music playing] - [Siren wailing]

We won't be long.

Sit down.

Sit down.

[Tense music playing]

Passport?

- Are we going somewhere? - I am.

You're going nowhere.

Ever.

Lousy...

Petty cash.

- [Light smashes] - [Ralph grunts]

[Siren wailing]

Jonathan!

[Tense music continues]

[Screams]

[Jennifer screams]

[Tense music continues]

[Yells]

[Christmas jingle playing]

This is my Christmas toddy.

Two of these and you'll really see flying reindeer.

- Thanks, Max. - Thanks, Max.

And what happened to the harts?

Mr. and Mrs. H,

stop nibbling on that Turkey until I carve it!

[Doorbell rings]

Would you mind seeing who's at the door?

I gotta watch the bird.

Otherwise, we'll wind up dining on just giblets and squash.

Okay, Max.

Ho-ho-ho

we're the folks from jinglegram

and just for a start

we want you to know

this performance comes

straight from the heart

ho-ho-ho.

[Wayne and Maureen laugh]

♪ We wish you a merry Christmas ♪

♪ we wish you a merry Christmas ♪

♪ we wish you a merry Christmas ♪

♪ and a happy new year ♪

From Max, freeway,

and Mr. and Mrs. Hart.

♪ We wish you a merry Christmas ♪

♪ we wish you a merry Christmas ♪

♪ we wish you a merry Christmas ♪

♪ straight from the heart ♪

Ho-ho-ho-ho.

Ho-ho-ho-ho.

Ho-ho-ho-ho.

Ho-ho-ho-ho.

[Freeway barks]

[♪♪]