Original subtitles

[♪♪♪]

[Max] This is my boss, Jonathan hart,

a self-made millionaire.

He's quite a guy.

This is Mrs. H. She's gorgeous.

She's one lady who knows how to take care of herself.

By the way, my name is Max.

I take care of both of them,

which ain't easy,

'cause when they met, it was murder.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

Is that it, Mr. H?

That's it, Max. The last of the luggage.

Now, you're sure you won't change your mind and come?

To France?

Thanks, Mr. H, but I never go anywhere

where I can't say "full house" in a native language.

[Barks]

Well, it sounds like freeway wants to go, too.

Oh, baby, you can't go with us this time.

This is strictly business.

Oh, you wonderful hound. Mwah.

Okay, okay, just don't stand there, you two.

We only got a half an hour to get to the airport.

Well, I've got the passports. Have you got the tickets?

Have you got the tickets, Max? Yeah.

Here are the plane tickets,

the train tickets

and the boat tickets.

I hope that's everything.

No, you've gotta arrange for a carriage when you get there.

Oh.

Carriage?

[♪♪♪]

[Train whistle blows]

[Foghorn blows]

[Jennifer] Well, I suppose we should be happy about one thing, darling.

At least we were able to find a horseless carriage.

Well, I must admit the scenery is charming.

But what I can't understand is why Andrew couldn't talk to you

about this project in Los Angeles.

Well, he could, but, uh...

Let me ask you:

Was this trip your idea or his idea? Come on.

You mean whisking you away to a remote romantic island

off the coast of France?

[Giggling]

Well, of course, it was my idea.

It was? Uh-huh.

[Both laugh]

Bonjour, madame.

Bonjour. Bonjour.

Bonjour, monsieur.

[Man] Bonjour.

Welcome to the chateau Beauvais.

I'm Jonathan hart. My wife, Jennifer.

Enchanté.

We have your room all ready for you, monsieur hart.

May I have your passports, please?

I have them.

Merci.

I will only be a moment.

If you will just sign the register, please. Thank you.

Ah. Monsieur.

Thank you, madame.

I see that Andrew's already signed in.

He's in room seven.

Oh. Well, we should let him know we're here.

You know something?

I have even a better idea.

I'll be right back.

I've chosen room 12 for you.

The top floor, overlooking the gardens.

Oh. Sounds lovely.

And because it is the end of the season,

you will have the chateau almost entirely to yourselves.

Wonderful.

Oh, bonjour.

Bonjour, monsieur. What can I get for you?

Uh, nothing for me, but do you have, uh, dom perignon?

Oui, oui.

Good. I'd appreciate it if you'd send a bottle up

to Andrew Thomas' room. Number seven.

Room seven, monsieur?

Right. And you can put it on my bill, Jonathan hart.

We just checked in.

Oui, monsieur hart. Thank you.

Francois.

Oui, papa? Ici.

[Speaking in French]

Darling...

There doesn't seem to be an elevator.

No elevator? No.

Well, then let's just think of this

as our stairway to paradise.

All right.

[♪♪♪]

Well, what did you do about Andrew?

I sent him a bottle of champagne.

Oh, that was very thoughtful.

I've got a better idea. What?

Let's help him drink it.

Oh, well, now, that's even more thoughtful.

C'est fini, monsieur.

Ah, well,

the room service is certainly lightning fast.

Certainly is.

Uh, five...

Six and seven. Seven.

Oh, darling, look at that beautiful chest.

It's so...

French.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

Ah. Jennifer!

Andrew.

Jonathan, welcome. Good to see you.

Think of us as two glasses in search of champagne.

Well, you are in luck.

I just happened to have stumbled across an excellent bottle.

Oh. What a coincidence.

Come in. Thanks, pal.

[Glasses clinking] [Andrew] To old friends.

And new ventures. Cheers.

Mm. Please,

make yourself comfortable.

Ah. Thanks very much.

Did you have a good trip?

Oh. Oh, yes, we had a great trip.

We went by, uh, plane, train, boat and car.

Is that all?

Well, Jonathan, I admit, uh, this place is a bit remote,

but that's part of its charm.

And not a corporate decision to be made

in any direction for miles.

Exactly.

Oh, it's good to see you, Andrew.

Ah. It's been such a long time.

Not since... well, actually, not since your wedding.

Has it been that long?

Oh, I remember it vividly.

I didn't know which side to sit on,

the bride's or the groom's.

My prize-winning writer,

or my good friend for so many years.

Isn't that odd?

People even take sides when you're gonna get married.

Which side did you sit on?

Oh... [Jonathan] Come on, the truth.

Which side... I won't tell.

I know a tricky question when I hear one.

You know, I am so glad you did so well.

You have a lot of talent.

Oh, well, I'm very flattered.

You should be. That's a wonderful compliment,

coming from a publisher with his reputation.

Oh, come on.

Well, it's true, I've had several lucky breaks,

a few of which I feel you had something to do with.

You could've done it without me. Besides, what are friends for?

Now, um, I hope you'll let me borrow her.

Because, uh,

this place, I mean chateau Beauvais...

Has given me an idea for the series of travel articles

I want Jennifer to write for me.

Ah, yes.

Little-known tourist treats.

I have a lot of ideas for approaches. You want to talk about it now?

We have plenty of time tomorrow at breakfast to discuss business.

Tonight is for fun...

Tonight is for friendship. Ah.

I'll drink to that. I will drink to that as well.

To friends. To friendship.

[♪♪♪]

[Jennifer chuckling]

Oh, darling, isn't this beautiful?

Oh, yeah.

It is beautiful...

But aren't you concerned?

Concerned about what?

Well...

Here we are on isle St. Pierre,

stranded... [Chuckles]

almost alone.

Oh.

No Max.

No freeway.

No interruptions.

Mmm.

Isn't it marvelous?

[Knock on door]

Hold that thought.

Are you holding? I'm holding.

Oh, francois.

Bonsoir, monsieur etmadame hart.

Pour vous, compliments duchateau Beauvais.

Merci.

Bonsoir.

Bonsoir.

Compliments of the house.

Oh.

Looks wonderful. Mm.

Oh. Whew!

Even the whipped cream must be 200 proof.

I'll bet it's about 500 calories a gulp.

My waistline will thank me in the morning.

Now...

Where were we?

[Gasps] Oh, yes.

I was supposed to be holding the thought.

I'm still holding the thought.

[Chuckles] Good.

Darling?

Oh.

Well...

I guess I'm gonna have to hold on a little while longer.

[Thunder rumbles, rain patters]

[Thunder crashes]

[Clattering, footsteps]

[Clattering, indistinct chattering]

[Speaking indistinctly]

[Grunts]

[Whispering in French]

Bonsoir.

Oh, bonsoir, madame.

Uh, I am sorry if we disturbed you.

Oh, no, no, no. I-I wasn't asleep anyway.

Oh.

Well, as I said...

Bonsoir.

Bonsoir.

[♪♪♪]

You will be three?

Uh, that was the plan, yes.

Excuse me, but, uh, what's all the activity?

Oh, uh, a wedding reception, madame.

Uh, a couple from the village, this afternoon.

Aw. You are very welcome to join in.

Well, that's wonderful. Thank you.

Thank you.

I wonder what's keeping Andrew.

Mm. Oh, I'm sure he'll be down in a minute, darling.

Relax. Enjoy the morning.

Especially after that storm last night.

Storm? Oh, you missed it.

Along with a couple of other things.

By the way...

I'm still holding the thought.

What thought?

I'll explain it to you later.

Um, maybe I'll call Andrew.

He might still be asleep in his room.

Ah, good morning. Good morning.

Uh, perhaps you could help me.

With pleasure, of course.

By the way, how did you sleep, monsieur hart?

Excessively well. Thank you.

Uh, my wife and I were supposed to have

breakfast with Mr. Thomas this morning.

I wonder if you could ring his room?

I am sorry, monsieur. Who?

Andrew Thomas. Room seven.

There must be some mistake.

Monsieur Thomas.

He's in room seven.

But we have no Thomas registered, monsieur hart,

and there is no room seven in this chateau.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

Uh. Excuse me, did I hear you correctly?

Yes, madame, I just said to monsieur hart

there is no Thomas registered here,

and we don't have any room seven in the chateau.

But we shared a bottle of champagne last night in room seven.

But that is not possible, madame.

Perhaps a tiring day of travel...

Perhaps if we looked at the register.

He signed in before we did. Oh, that is not possible.

I am sorry. That would be against hotel regulations.

Uh, the easiest way to clear this up

is for us to talk to Andrew in person.

Why don't we go up to the room ourselves?

Perfect. As you like, monsieur hart.

Now, let's see.

Room five.

Room six.

And, uh...

Well, we seem to have misplaced room seven.

Maybe somebody rearranged this wing when we weren't looking.

Well, it certainly isn't where we left it.

And there was a trunk there last night.

I swear to it.

Well, if the trunk was there...

Then Andrew's room must have been here.

Darling, how much champagne did we drink?

Bonjour, monsieur, madame. Oh, madame.

Oui? Uh, where is room seven?

Oh, no, there is no room seven, madame.

You see, I know, I've been cleaning these rooms for years.

You don't send them out, do you?

Pardon, monsieur?

Nothing.

You see, madame,

the number seven brings very bad luck.

Oh. Excusez-moi.

Maybe she's right. The number seven doesn't seem

to have done Andrew much good.

I can understand Andrew wandering off,

but his room?

Maybe something wandered in front of it.

Well, I've heard of stealing towels,

but a whole room?

Darling, do you think we're going crazy?

Either that or somebody's thought of everything.

I think I like your explanation better than mine.

Why don't we, uh, have a couple of drinks with the bartender

and discuss it?

He's the one I ordered the bottle of champagne from.

He's also the one who probably mixed those French whammies.

And he's also one of the men

who was carrying that trunk last night.

I'm beginning to wonder what was in there.

Ah, voilà.

Here you are, madame.

Monsieur. Thank you.

Enjoy your drinks.

Excuse me. Oui, monsieur.

You remember me from last night?

[Speaking in French]

Monsieur etmadame hart.

Ah-ha.

You ordered the champagne, no?

Yes, and you sent it to room seven.

Room seven? Oh, no.

Room 17, as you requested.

The chateau, uh, has no room seven.

Very bad luck.

Uh, will there be anything else?

Darling? Mmm.

Apparently not. Très bien.

Nice try.

Something funny is going on around here.

Maybe we could get a straight answer from that kid.

Francois.

Oui, monsieur?

When you delivered that bottle of champagne last night...

Oui, monsieur. Was monsieur Thomas

in his room?

Oh, oui, monsieur.

But his name is Tobias.

Monsieur Tobias, he tipped very well.

And, um, monsieur Tobias was in room 17?

Oui, madame.

Is there something else I can take up for you?

No, nothing else, thank you. You've done enough for today.

Oui, monsieur.

Well, they've certainly managed to cover all the bases,

haven't they? Whoever they are.

It certainly looks that way. They must be playing

for pretty high stakes if they're involving the kid

but why?

What could Andrew possibly mean to these people,

let alone his room?

That's what we've gotta find out.

How are we gonna do that?

Our charming, befuddled tourist approach

hasn't gotten us anything but blank looks.

Maybe we'd be more successful if we used the direct approach.

[♪♪♪]

[Whispering in French]

May I be of service, monsieur hart?

You could've been earlier this morning,

but now I think it's time we called the police.

The police? You're not still looking for monsieur Thomas?

[Jennifer chuckling] I'm afraid we are.

You see, someone seems to have misplaced him,

along with his room.

But, madame, I've already explained that...

Your entire staff has explained. Now we think it's time you explained to the authorities.

I would be glad to oblige, but the nearest police station is in cherbourg,

where you took the boat.

Then call them.

And let them take the boat.

I'm afraid that will not be possible, monsieur.

Unfortunately, last night's storm damaged the lines.

We have had no telephone service all morning.

There must be some way to get through.

Only the shuttle boat, madame.

And that won't be back until tomorrow morning.

You know, the charm of this place

is quickly beginning to disappear.

What we're saying is that we don't like what's going on here.

But, please, monsieur, there is no reason to become upset.

No reason?

A man, a friend disappears from your hotel without a trace?

And neither you nor any of your staff

will even admit he even existed at all.

Ha!

This is supposed to be such an isolated place.

He must be here somewhere.

Somewhere.

Jonathan.

[♪♪♪]

The disappearing trunk.

Maybe room seven is inside.

[Rings]

Ah-ha!

The service must have just been restored, monsieur.

[Bartender] Hello?

[Speaking in French]

I will call the police as soon as I finish this call.

I think we've had it here.

Why don't we go out for some air?

[Speaking in French]

Darling, why would anyone want Andrew to disappear?

He was honest, respected,

successful.

Would you think he would want to make himself disappear?

Oh, I don't think he was that successful.

Well, it's gotta be some kind of a setup.

Everybody's singing the same song but us.

Do you think it was some sort of a plot against him?

I don't think that's very likely, darling.

[Man] Excusez-moi, mes amis.

You're not gonna tell us about monsieur Tobias

in room 17, are you?

No, monsieur, but I must caution you

about moving too far from the chateau.

These gardens are extensive

and you could become lost very easily.

Just like Andrew.

And his room.

We'll be very careful, thank you.

[Speaking in French]

[♪♪♪]

Jonathan, look!

Yeah, it looks like Andrew.

It is Andrew.

Andrew!

[Jennifer] Andrew!

Oh, what a relief.

Well, where did he go?

It looks like Andrew's playing hard to get.

What's happening? Who's shooting at us?

It looks like it's Andrew.

It's all right, darling. He's gone.

He tried to kill us.

[♪♪♪]

Did you enjoy your walk, monsieur hart?

Yes, there's nothing like a walk in the garden

to keep the circulation going.

Or to put us out of circulation.

Bonjour.

Bonjour, madame. Bonjour, monsieur.

Maybe we should just lock ourselves in our room,

and wait for the boat.

Here we go again.

All right, sir.

Don't tell us you're here to rearrange the furniture.

Monsieur hart, madame.

I am inspector novier.

Reinforcements.

Oh.

It is an amazing story you tell.

And it's absolutely true, inspector.

You're the only one that's taken us seriously.

And the hotel staff will take me seriously, monsieur.

I'll show you.

Inspector.

We're looking for the manager.

Uh, I think you will find him at his desk in the lobby, monsieur.

We just came from there.

Is anything the matter?

We would prefer to take it up with the manager.

[Bartender] Well, perhaps he's upstairs.

I will go and try and find him for you.

We will try together.

Will you wait here, please?

Gladly.

If he suggests to look in the gardens, inspector,

pass.

Well, what would you say

to a glass of white wine while we're waiting?

Mmm. I'd say "hello, glass of wine."

That's cute, you know that?

Do you like that? Yeah, very cute.

I knew you would.

Uh, put this on my tab.

Very generous as well. [Laughs]

Oh, yes.

Darling. What?

What is happeningto us?

I don't know.

I honestly don't know.

To you. And you.

They are waiting for us in here, monsieur.

But I don't understand what can possibly be the problem.

Your guests seem to be having some trouble here, monsieur.

To put it mildly. Oh, yes.

Something about a... A monsieur Tobias.

Thomas. And room number seven.

But we have no room seven.

We shall see.

I'm afraid we'll have to examine your records.

Ah, with pleasure. Of course, of course.

After you.

In these registers here it seems like no one's

ever even checked into a room seven.

It's a complete and thorough cover-up.

There is perhaps another explanation, monsieur.

[Jonathan] Yeah, what's that?

[Novier] Well, everything seems to be in order here.

After a tiring journey to a foreign land,

you might have imagined things.

[Jonathan] What are you suggesting, inspector?

That my wife and I made this story up?

Uh, darling,

I think the inspector may have a point there.

After all, it-it was a long trip,

and we did have a bit to drink.

Huh? We're probably just wasting

this nice policeman's valuable time.

I'm afraid your wife is right, monsieur.

Without some concrete evidence,

there seems to be nothing more I can do.

Well, I think you've done quite enough already, inspector.

After all, you made this long trip out to the hotel.

I think what we really owe you is a vote of thanks.

Don't we, darling? Yes. Um,

thank you very much, inspector.

So probably the best thing we can do is to just go outside

and get some more fresh air, don't you?

Thanks again.Goodbye.

Bye. Thank you.

[Jennifer] Voilà. La famille Beauvais.

That's an interesting family portrait.

Isn't it?

[Jonathan] The manager. [Jennifer] Mmm-hmm.

[Jonathan] The bartender.

The maid.

Francois.

Our friendly policeman.

So much for help from the mainland.

[Jonathan] But who does he remind you of?

He does look familiar, doesn't he?

Sort of like Andrew?

[Hedge clippers snipping]

Let's talk to that caretaker,

see if he knows anything. Mmm.

Bonjour.

Oh, bonjour, mademoiselle, monsieur.

My compliments on your work.

Merci beaucoup. The garden is beautiful.

Merci. Have you been working here long?

Oui. Oui. For many years.

Ah. Ah.

Do you recognize this, uh, picture?

Ah, of course. This is the old Beauvais family.

Oh. Ah.

Do you recognize, uh, that man there?

Ah, him.

Claude. Claude Beauvais.

Does he also work here at the chateau?

Oh, no, no, no. Not anymore. He is, how do you say?

The black sheep. A bad man. Very much criminal.

He is wanted by more countries than I can count.

Uh, where is he now?

They say he's somewhere in Italy.

Who knows?

Excusez-moi.

I must get back to my work.

Pardon.

[♪♪♪]

Another mystery of the chateau Beauvais.

[Accordion music playing]

[Indistinct chattering]

This looks like our chance to find the missing room.

They may have hidden the door,

but there's got to be a window.

Are you sure this is the way to find it?

Don't spoil my fun.

This worked when I was a kid.

Well, let's hope it wasn't just beginner's luck.

Room seven.

Not only bad luck, but a bad view.

What a mess.

Maybe the maid didn't know about this room.

[Thump, footsteps approaching]

[Gasps]

[Gasps]

[♪♪♪]

You are not seeing a ghost, Mrs. Hart.

I am not Andrew Thomas.

Well, who...

Don't ask any questions.

There's so little time for answers.

Claude Beauvais.

Very good, Mrs. Hart.

I am surprised you recognized me.

I saw your family portrait

hidden in the office.

Oh, that's how you know about me.

What about that phony policeman?

Who is he?

My brother.

He has a flair for the dramatic.

Well, you don't do so badly yourself.

What a pity.

What? That we found the truth?

No.

That such a beautiful

and perceptive woman

must die

to keep my little secret.

So the disappearing room was for our benefit?

It was meant to discourage you, Mrs. Hart.

Too bad it didn't.

You'll never pull this off.

[Chuckles]

Don't be too sure.

If I'm the only one left tomorrow to meet the boat,

who can stand in my way?

Now...

Claude...

Let's be reasonable.

You don't have to kill me.

Do you?

I'm afraid there is no other way.

Oh, there must be another way.

Look, uh, I won't say a word. I promise you.

I wouldn't believe you.

Would I lie at a time like this?

Uh, especially at a time like this.

You do have a point there.

I'm a very good judge of character.

What about Andrew?

Where did he figure into this?

Your friend looked so much like me, Mrs. Hart.

And I needed a passport

very badly.

A passport, of course.

When the boat leaves tomorrow,

Andrew Thomas will return to the United States.

And Claude Beauvais will disappear forever.

Jonathan! Help!

[Jennifer] Jonathan!

Jonathan, help!

Come with me quietly, Mrs. Hart.

Oh.

You don't think you can get away from me that easily,

do you, Mrs. Hart?

[Grunts]

I think it's checkout time.

Darling, they killed Andrew.

They're all in it together.

That means that we're on our own.

Now, we'll just, uh,

calmly walk out the front door.

Uh, let's go this way.

On the other hand, a brisk walk in the courtyard might be just the thing.

Or a fast jog.

[Festive music playing]

Jonathan. The wedding reception.

Let's hope they're receptive to us. Come on.

Oh, thank you.

Over there.

So much for plan a.

I think we'd better come up with plan b.

Quick.

Hail, hail, the gang's all here.

I know this is asking a lot, darling,

but, uh, try to look inconspicuous and, uh,

mingle.

[Inaudible]

Oh, they're closing in on us.

Oh, that's the good news.

The bad news is I've lost track of the man with the gun.

But I have not lost track of you, Mr. Hart.

[Gunshots] [People scream]

[Grunts]

I'll take that, if you don't mind,

madame hart.

[♪♪♪]

You're planning to kill us like you killed Andrew?

Monsieur Thomas is dead?

In the trunk.

You didn't know?

[Speaking in French]

[Speaking in French]

[Speaking in French]

Please,

accept my apologies.

This was to be a...

A family matter.

We wished to help Claude escape

his problems with the law.

But our plan was only to steal his passport

and detain monsieur Thomas...

Not kill him.

You do not think the Beauvais family are...

Murderers?

Well, it had crossed our mind, monsieur Beauvais.

Tomorrow...

When the boat comes...

The Beauvais family will turn Claude over to...

To the authorities.

And then the hart family will take the car,

the boat, the train and the plane home.

Have you got the passports?

If you've got the tickets.

[♪♪♪]

[Max] Oh, come on, give me a break.

I got the claim checks right here.

That luggage has got to be somewhere.

What do you mean, have I called Rio de Janeiro?

How could it have gotten there?

You're right. That's a silly question.

[♪♪♪]

Oh, isn't it nice to be back?

In our own home? Mmm-hmm.

On our own sofa? Yes.

And both of them exactly where we left them.

[Chuckles]

Hey, any luck, Max?

I give up.

Now that airline is claiming

you never had any luggage.

Disappearing luggage. How amazing.

I remember carrying something around Europe.

[Laughs]

Must be jet lag.

Well, sweetheart, shall we go upstairs to our room?

Oh, I don't know.

We might get up there and find that it's disappeared.

I don't think I could cope with that.

Why don't we stay here?

On the sofa?

Uh-huh.

You mean, uh...

On the sofa? Uh-huh.

What about Max?

Well, he's got to get his own sofa.

Hmm.

You know something? What?

I'm really glad some things never change.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]