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00:00:01,235 --> 00:00:02,270
Previously on
Young Sheldon...
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00:00:02,302 --> 00:00:04,806
I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
3
00:00:04,839 --> 00:00:05,840
You may kiss the bride.
4
00:00:07,507 --> 00:00:09,309
We'd like to pay
for a honeymoon.
5
00:00:09,342 --> 00:00:12,345
What would you say
to an all-expenses-paid
6
00:00:12,379 --> 00:00:14,248
weekend at Dollywood?
7
00:00:14,282 --> 00:00:15,582
Shut up.
MANDY:
Oh, my God.
8
00:00:15,615 --> 00:00:16,483
Thank you.
9
00:00:16,516 --> 00:00:19,386
Huh? Oh, that ain't good.
10
00:00:19,419 --> 00:00:22,355
(siren chirps)
OFFICER (over P.A.): Connie
Tucker, please stop running.
11
00:00:22,389 --> 00:00:23,690
Why are you handcuffed?
12
00:00:23,723 --> 00:00:24,926
I was just...
13
00:00:24,959 --> 00:00:26,359
taking the baby for a walk,
14
00:00:26,393 --> 00:00:28,361
and Cagney and Lacey here
decided
15
00:00:28,395 --> 00:00:31,398
that I was evading arrest.
16
00:00:35,937 --> 00:00:37,637
How's that feel?
17
00:00:37,671 --> 00:00:38,840
Unnecessary.
18
00:00:38,873 --> 00:00:40,241
You ran from the police.
19
00:00:40,274 --> 00:00:41,374
You're a flight risk.
20
00:00:41,408 --> 00:00:43,376
She can't run.
She got a funky hip.
21
00:00:43,410 --> 00:00:45,612
She can barely waddle.
Watch it.
22
00:00:45,645 --> 00:00:47,315
RICH:
You got a 50-yard radius
23
00:00:47,347 --> 00:00:48,615
from the base.
24
00:00:48,648 --> 00:00:50,218
It'll beep when you get
close to the edge.
25
00:00:50,251 --> 00:00:52,519
If you cross it, we get a call.
26
00:00:52,552 --> 00:00:55,223
If you tamper with it,
we get a call.
27
00:00:55,256 --> 00:00:56,991
Will it give her a little zap?
28
00:00:57,024 --> 00:00:58,259
No.
29
00:00:58,292 --> 00:00:59,526
Well, how's she gonna learn?
30
00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:01,528
Will it beep if I kill him?
31
00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:03,331
As long as
it's within 50 yards,
32
00:01:03,363 --> 00:01:05,365
go for it.
33
00:01:06,033 --> 00:01:08,002
I can't leave the house?
34
00:01:08,035 --> 00:01:10,570
What the hell am I supposed
to do all day?
35
00:01:10,604 --> 00:01:12,306
I am way ahead of you. See?
36
00:01:12,340 --> 00:01:14,407
I stopped
and I picked up puzzles.
37
00:01:14,441 --> 00:01:18,645
Got us the Grand Canyon
and Dogs Playing Poker.
38
00:01:18,678 --> 00:01:23,683
If I were to run right now,
would you shoot me?
39
00:01:24,819 --> 00:01:27,721
♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪
40
00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:30,224
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
41
00:01:30,258 --> 00:01:32,759
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
42
00:01:32,792 --> 00:01:35,562
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
43
00:01:35,595 --> 00:01:39,967
♪ I am a mighty little man.♪
44
00:01:43,004 --> 00:01:44,972
Ooh. I found a corner.
45
00:01:45,006 --> 00:01:47,440
Congratulations.
Oh, come on.
46
00:01:47,474 --> 00:01:48,675
We can have a little fun.
47
00:01:48,708 --> 00:01:51,711
I have lost my business,
I have lost my home,
48
00:01:51,745 --> 00:01:55,448
I have lost my freedom,
and you want to have fun?
49
00:01:55,482 --> 00:01:57,517
A little fun.
50
00:01:57,550 --> 00:02:00,420
Do you not understand?
I could be going to jail.
51
00:02:00,453 --> 00:02:02,223
Oh, come on, please.
52
00:02:02,256 --> 00:02:05,458
They're not gonna send a sweet
old grandma to the pokey.
53
00:02:05,492 --> 00:02:06,793
Well, I hope not.
Ah.
54
00:02:06,827 --> 00:02:10,497
Well, tell me something
if you would.
55
00:02:10,530 --> 00:02:12,799
Is that sky or water?
56
00:02:12,833 --> 00:02:14,768
Let me see it.
57
00:02:16,837 --> 00:02:19,006
It's a good thing
that didn't go 50 yards.
58
00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:21,042
You can still get it.
59
00:02:21,075 --> 00:02:22,810
(door opens)
60
00:02:22,843 --> 00:02:24,278
Hey, we're back.
61
00:02:24,312 --> 00:02:25,947
Hey, hi.
62
00:02:25,980 --> 00:02:27,381
Where's my little girl?
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00:02:27,415 --> 00:02:30,717
Um, she's with Mary.
64
00:02:30,750 --> 00:02:31,651
Why?
65
00:02:31,685 --> 00:02:34,989
Well, how do I put this?
66
00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:39,626
(gasps)
What the heck is that?
67
00:02:39,659 --> 00:02:41,661
I'm under house arrest.
68
00:02:41,695 --> 00:02:42,964
Why?
69
00:02:42,997 --> 00:02:44,065
We got busted.
70
00:02:44,098 --> 00:02:45,066
We?
71
00:02:45,099 --> 00:02:46,334
Me.
72
00:02:46,367 --> 00:02:47,567
Do they know
about Georgie?
73
00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:49,036
No, of course not.
74
00:02:49,070 --> 00:02:50,503
Your grandma's not a snitch.
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00:02:50,537 --> 00:02:52,539
Which, by the way,
will serve you well
76
00:02:52,572 --> 00:02:54,574
if you end up
in the slammer.
77
00:02:54,607 --> 00:02:56,776
The pokey, the slammer.
What is it with you?
78
00:02:56,811 --> 00:02:58,379
I like cop shows.
You learn things.
79
00:02:58,412 --> 00:02:59,579
GEORGE JR.:
What about the Laundromat,
80
00:02:59,612 --> 00:03:01,048
the video store?
81
00:03:01,082 --> 00:03:02,615
They shut everything down.
82
00:03:02,649 --> 00:03:05,518
God. So what are we
gonna do for money?
Yeah.
83
00:03:05,552 --> 00:03:08,022
That's an excellent question.
84
00:03:10,424 --> 00:03:11,926
How was Dollywood?
85
00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:14,527
Magical. What are we gonna
do about money?
86
00:03:15,429 --> 00:03:16,964
Hey.
87
00:03:16,998 --> 00:03:18,332
Hello.
88
00:03:18,366 --> 00:03:19,666
Studying for a test?
89
00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:21,501
Studying to take the bar exam.
90
00:03:21,534 --> 00:03:22,903
Meemaw's going
to need a smart lawyer.
91
00:03:22,937 --> 00:03:25,406
By the time we find one, I could
just learn how to do it.
92
00:03:25,439 --> 00:03:26,907
Seriously?
Common law
93
00:03:26,941 --> 00:03:28,708
was invented by a bunch
of English farmers
94
00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:30,577
in the Middle Ages.
I think I can hack it.
95
00:03:30,610 --> 00:03:32,179
All right, what do you got?
96
00:03:32,213 --> 00:03:34,882
Well, have you ever heard
of Vincent "The Chin" Gigante?
97
00:03:34,915 --> 00:03:35,816
He a boxer?
98
00:03:35,850 --> 00:03:38,119
He was originally.
Good for you.
99
00:03:38,152 --> 00:03:39,519
But he's better known
100
00:03:39,552 --> 00:03:41,122
as a major crime boss
who managed
101
00:03:41,155 --> 00:03:42,490
to stay out of prison
by employing the legal doctrine
102
00:03:42,522 --> 00:03:43,891
of mens rea.
103
00:03:43,924 --> 00:03:45,359
Which is?
104
00:03:45,393 --> 00:03:46,760
He pretended to be nuts.
105
00:03:46,793 --> 00:03:48,362
He wandered the streets
of New York in a bathrobe,
106
00:03:48,396 --> 00:03:50,563
he had poor personal hygiene,
he mumbled to himself--
107
00:03:50,597 --> 00:03:51,832
all the cuckoo classics.
108
00:03:51,866 --> 00:03:53,700
Yeah. If you need someone
to testify
109
00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:55,369
that she's off her rocker,
you give me a call.
110
00:03:55,403 --> 00:03:56,703
Thank you.
111
00:03:56,736 --> 00:03:57,938
Toilet's backed up.
112
00:03:57,972 --> 00:04:00,474
What? Don't look at me.
I just got home.
113
00:04:00,508 --> 00:04:03,010
Yeah, but it's had years of you.
(sighs)
114
00:04:03,044 --> 00:04:05,612
I'll check it out.
115
00:04:05,645 --> 00:04:08,015
Come on, little buddy.
116
00:04:08,049 --> 00:04:09,582
You can do it.
117
00:04:09,616 --> 00:04:11,385
Talk to me.
118
00:04:11,419 --> 00:04:13,553
There you go.
119
00:04:13,586 --> 00:04:16,157
Let it out.
120
00:04:16,190 --> 00:04:17,724
Aah!
121
00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:21,529
(groans)
122
00:04:21,561 --> 00:04:23,397
Years.
123
00:04:23,431 --> 00:04:24,965
♪ Pump it up. ♪
124
00:04:27,634 --> 00:04:28,869
Here's the estimate.
125
00:04:28,903 --> 00:04:30,538
I'm gonna need 50% down
to get started.
126
00:04:30,570 --> 00:04:31,939
Are you kidding me?
127
00:04:31,972 --> 00:04:34,508
We're fixing a toilet,
not buying a car.
128
00:04:34,542 --> 00:04:36,609
Good thing
I wasn't going to college.
129
00:04:36,643 --> 00:04:38,745
Nothing's wrong with your
toilet. Septic tank is shot.
130
00:04:38,778 --> 00:04:40,948
(sighs)
What's a septic tank?
131
00:04:40,981 --> 00:04:42,850
It's basically a big container
under the backyard
132
00:04:42,883 --> 00:04:45,419
that's filled up with
all your... bathroom business.
133
00:04:45,453 --> 00:04:47,620
Ew! I played in that yard.
134
00:04:47,654 --> 00:04:49,323
Missy, not now. Come on, Phil.
135
00:04:49,356 --> 00:04:51,425
Isn't there some kind of friends
and family discount?
136
00:04:51,459 --> 00:04:53,693
I mean, we went
to high school together.
137
00:04:53,726 --> 00:04:56,729
Yeah, and you were mean to me.
138
00:04:57,832 --> 00:05:01,802
Oh, come on! I-I was mad
at the world, not just you!
139
00:05:02,635 --> 00:05:05,506
I ate that dirt.
140
00:05:05,539 --> 00:05:06,907
Did he fix it?
141
00:05:06,941 --> 00:05:08,075
Not quite.
142
00:05:08,109 --> 00:05:09,110
And he's still a weasel.
143
00:05:09,143 --> 00:05:11,178
What'd he do?
Look.
144
00:05:11,212 --> 00:05:13,646
(gasps)
What a weasel.
145
00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:15,082
What are we gonna do?
I mean, we're six people.
146
00:05:15,116 --> 00:05:16,417
We need a toilet.
147
00:05:16,450 --> 00:05:18,452
Don't worry.
Georgie, come with me.
148
00:05:18,486 --> 00:05:20,154
Where are we going?
I got a plan.
149
00:05:20,187 --> 00:05:21,788
Is it a good plan?
Yeah.
150
00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:27,094
All right. So I believe
that completes the sky.
151
00:05:27,128 --> 00:05:28,728
Satisfying, huh?
152
00:05:28,761 --> 00:05:30,464
So, what do you think?
153
00:05:30,498 --> 00:05:32,867
Want to get some exercise,
154
00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:35,603
go for a walk
until you start beeping?
155
00:05:35,635 --> 00:05:37,670
Ha, ha, ha.
It's not funny.
156
00:05:37,704 --> 00:05:38,939
My life is in shambles,
157
00:05:38,973 --> 00:05:40,608
and I'm too old to start over.
158
00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:42,143
Oh, come on.
159
00:05:42,176 --> 00:05:43,743
You are not too old.
160
00:05:43,776 --> 00:05:47,647
Now, listen, you are a smart,
vibrant, perky woman.
161
00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:50,017
Perky?
Well, yeah, compared to me.
162
00:05:50,050 --> 00:05:52,153
(chuckles)
And I'll tell you
another thing.
163
00:05:52,186 --> 00:05:53,686
Your life's not over.
164
00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:58,559
You are writing a new chapter
in the book of you.
165
00:05:58,592 --> 00:06:00,261
A book where
166
00:06:00,294 --> 00:06:04,031
a perky heroine rises up
167
00:06:04,064 --> 00:06:05,166
and...
168
00:06:05,199 --> 00:06:06,934
And what?
169
00:06:06,967 --> 00:06:09,170
I don't know.
Y-You want to get drunk?
170
00:06:09,203 --> 00:06:10,670
Yes.
Great. I'm gonna
171
00:06:10,703 --> 00:06:12,606
run to the liquor store.
You want to come with me?
172
00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:14,875
Dale!
Right. Okay.
173
00:06:14,909 --> 00:06:16,877
Be back in a jiffy.
174
00:06:16,911 --> 00:06:19,947
(music playing faintly)
175
00:06:19,980 --> 00:06:23,083
(door opens and closes)
God help me, I love him.
176
00:06:23,117 --> 00:06:25,653
GEORGE SR.:
All right,just a little bit more.
177
00:06:25,685 --> 00:06:28,923
Oh, easy, easy.
There you go. (laughs)
178
00:06:28,956 --> 00:06:30,591
Yeah.
179
00:06:30,624 --> 00:06:32,560
Not bad, huh?
I don't know.
180
00:06:32,593 --> 00:06:34,061
Might look better
by the fence.
181
00:06:34,094 --> 00:06:37,598
Look better?
It's a big plastic crap house.
182
00:06:37,631 --> 00:06:39,099
MARY:
Oh, dear Lord.
183
00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:42,603
You wanted a toilet? Voilà.
184
00:06:42,636 --> 00:06:44,071
Where did you get it?
185
00:06:44,104 --> 00:06:45,772
From the high school.
We got, like, ten of 'em
186
00:06:45,806 --> 00:06:47,774
for visiting teams.
Yeah... give it a whirl.
187
00:06:47,808 --> 00:06:49,910
I'd rather die.
188
00:06:50,710 --> 00:06:51,912
Is there
a light inside?
189
00:06:51,946 --> 00:06:54,014
No.
Trust me, that's a good thing.
190
00:06:54,048 --> 00:06:55,916
We'll just tie a flashlight
to the handle.
191
00:06:55,950 --> 00:06:58,785
Huh. I always wondered what
rock bottom would look like.
192
00:06:58,819 --> 00:07:00,921
Come on, at least
check it out.
193
00:07:02,389 --> 00:07:04,757
(Mandy sighs)
194
00:07:04,791 --> 00:07:07,094
I checked, I'm out.
195
00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:08,996
(door closes)
196
00:07:09,029 --> 00:07:10,831
I can't thank y'all enough.
197
00:07:10,864 --> 00:07:12,900
Oh, don't be silly.
Stay as long as you need.
198
00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:15,002
It's only temporary.
Whatever.
199
00:07:15,035 --> 00:07:17,671
We're just thrilled
to have you and the baby here.
200
00:07:17,705 --> 00:07:18,906
And me, too, right?
201
00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:21,275
Yes, you'll be here, too.
202
00:07:22,676 --> 00:07:24,545
Well, let me give you a hand.
203
00:07:24,578 --> 00:07:26,113
Oh. Thanks.
Now, Georgie,
204
00:07:26,146 --> 00:07:28,349
if the police come for you,
what should we tell them?
205
00:07:28,382 --> 00:07:30,651
Mom.
I'm sorry.
206
00:07:30,684 --> 00:07:33,954
I've never harbored
a fugitive before.
Mom!
207
00:07:41,729 --> 00:07:42,730
Who's that guy?
208
00:07:42,762 --> 00:07:44,231
It's Donny Osmond.
209
00:07:44,265 --> 00:07:45,666
Never heard of him.
210
00:07:45,699 --> 00:07:47,067
You know, Donny and Marie?
211
00:07:47,101 --> 00:07:49,603
Sometimes I forget
how old you are.
212
00:07:49,637 --> 00:07:51,639
Thank you.
(unzips bag)
213
00:07:51,672 --> 00:07:53,507
I'm sorry about my mom.
214
00:07:53,540 --> 00:07:56,076
You kidding? We got a double bed
and an indoor bathroom.
215
00:07:56,110 --> 00:07:57,945
She can spit in my Corn Flakes,
and I'm a happy camper.
216
00:07:57,978 --> 00:08:00,748
Good, 'cause she might.
217
00:08:00,780 --> 00:08:02,650
Don't worry. I'll win her over.
218
00:08:02,683 --> 00:08:04,551
She thinks you ruined my life.
So?
219
00:08:04,585 --> 00:08:07,154
You thought I ruined your life,
and you married me.
220
00:08:07,187 --> 00:08:10,824
I called it. I said no good
would come of this marriage.
221
00:08:10,858 --> 00:08:12,693
Yeah, yeah, you said it a lot.
222
00:08:12,726 --> 00:08:14,361
You said it at the wedding.
223
00:08:14,395 --> 00:08:15,863
But, uh, still, you know, I...
224
00:08:15,896 --> 00:08:17,965
I think you could be
a little nicer to him.
225
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:20,668
Sure, I can also go
out in the backyard
226
00:08:20,701 --> 00:08:23,771
and water the crabgrass.
227
00:08:23,804 --> 00:08:26,640
We're gonna be okay, right?
Oh, of course.
228
00:08:26,674 --> 00:08:28,108
How can you be so sure?
229
00:08:28,142 --> 00:08:30,678
Hey, you didn't just marry a
pretty boy like Danny over here.
230
00:08:30,711 --> 00:08:32,913
Donny.
Yeah, him. You know,
231
00:08:32,946 --> 00:08:34,948
I'm the hardest worker
you'll ever meet.
232
00:08:34,982 --> 00:08:37,651
When I see something I want,
I don't stop till I get it.
233
00:08:37,685 --> 00:08:39,853
You are relentless.
234
00:08:39,887 --> 00:08:41,989
The good news is,
with Amanda back in the house,
235
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:44,091
I can help her come
to her senses.
236
00:08:44,124 --> 00:08:46,860
Good plan. Hey, uh,
in the meantime,
237
00:08:46,894 --> 00:08:48,996
I was thinking of putting
Georgie to work at the store.
238
00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:51,999
There you go,
watering the crabgrass.
239
00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:54,335
It's not charity,
all right? He'll work.
240
00:08:54,368 --> 00:08:55,869
He's a criminal, Jim.
241
00:08:55,903 --> 00:08:58,972
And what I want is
to take care of you and CeeCee
242
00:08:59,006 --> 00:09:01,675
and maybe someday
a Georgie Junior Junior.
243
00:09:01,709 --> 00:09:03,210
You mean George the Third.
244
00:09:03,243 --> 00:09:05,913
No, that's too fancy.
He'd get his ass kicked.
245
00:09:05,946 --> 00:09:08,015
Mm, yeah.
JIM:
And for your information,
246
00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:10,718
those little backroom
slot machines are all over town.
247
00:09:10,751 --> 00:09:12,252
How do you know?
248
00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:15,824
People tell me stuff.
249
00:09:15,856 --> 00:09:19,693
I... I just got--
I got one of them faces.
250
00:09:19,727 --> 00:09:22,129
ADULT SHELDON:
I had a planto avoid using the porta-potty.
251
00:09:22,162 --> 00:09:24,164
I just hadto get through the night
252
00:09:24,198 --> 00:09:26,700
until I could get backto my dorm in the morning.
253
00:09:26,734 --> 00:09:28,936
I loweredmy overall liquid intake,
254
00:09:28,969 --> 00:09:31,004
skipped my pre-bedchamomile tea,
255
00:09:31,038 --> 00:09:34,208
and gave my bladdera stern talking to.
256
00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:36,477
My bladder did not listen.
257
00:09:39,713 --> 00:09:41,181
(sighs)
258
00:09:43,818 --> 00:09:45,152
I can do this.
259
00:09:45,185 --> 00:09:46,687
ADULT SHELDON:
My body may have been weak,
260
00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:48,188
but my mind was strong.
261
00:09:48,222 --> 00:09:50,057
I just neededto think about this situation
262
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:51,792
in a different way.
263
00:09:51,826 --> 00:09:54,094
Instead of a porta-potty,it was a TARDIS.
264
00:09:54,128 --> 00:09:57,064
Instead of Sheldon,I was Doctor Who,
265
00:09:57,097 --> 00:10:00,968
whose urine was ready to travelthrough space and time.
266
00:10:01,735 --> 00:10:03,203
For those who aren't familiar,
267
00:10:03,237 --> 00:10:05,906
the TARDIS is biggeron the inside.
268
00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:08,843
This one, however,was smellier on the inside.
269
00:10:08,877 --> 00:10:12,079
I can't do this.
270
00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:14,648
ADULT SHELDON:
I'm not proud of this,but that night,
271
00:10:14,681 --> 00:10:18,218
I relieved myself insideBilly Sparks' chicken coop.
272
00:10:18,252 --> 00:10:20,855
Until my wife,those hens were the only females
273
00:10:20,889 --> 00:10:22,956
I ever exposed myself to.
274
00:10:22,990 --> 00:10:25,192
(chickens clucking)
275
00:10:25,225 --> 00:10:27,896
I guessI could have left that part out.
276
00:10:27,928 --> 00:10:29,163
Oh, well.
277
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:31,231
GEORGE JR.:
More bacon?
278
00:10:31,265 --> 00:10:32,800
Pile it on.
279
00:10:32,834 --> 00:10:33,868
Good morning.
280
00:10:33,902 --> 00:10:36,871
Morning. Have a seat.
281
00:10:36,905 --> 00:10:39,072
Georgie made us breakfast.
Isn't that nice?
282
00:10:39,106 --> 00:10:41,241
Oh, well, look at that.
Thank you.
283
00:10:41,275 --> 00:10:43,010
My pleasure.
AUDREY:
I guess
284
00:10:43,043 --> 00:10:44,445
I'll just have to run
to the supermarket later
285
00:10:44,478 --> 00:10:46,046
and get some more eggs
286
00:10:46,079 --> 00:10:49,149
for that cake
I was going to make.
287
00:10:49,183 --> 00:10:52,186
Oh, no problem.
I-I can go to the grocery store.
288
00:10:52,219 --> 00:10:55,122
Oh. Apparently
we're not job-hunting today.
289
00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:58,492
Oh, speaking of jobs.
290
00:10:59,493 --> 00:11:01,462
Good luck to you, son.
291
00:11:04,097 --> 00:11:07,201
Meemaw. Meemaw.
292
00:11:07,234 --> 00:11:09,036
Meemaw.
293
00:11:09,838 --> 00:11:11,572
What?
294
00:11:11,605 --> 00:11:13,808
Oh, my, you look terrible.
295
00:11:13,842 --> 00:11:14,809
Are you sick?
296
00:11:14,843 --> 00:11:16,945
Of life, yes.
297
00:11:16,977 --> 00:11:18,345
Oh, good. That's not contagious.
298
00:11:18,378 --> 00:11:20,882
Get in here.
The light's killing me.
299
00:11:20,915 --> 00:11:23,016
You smell like alcohol. Yucky.
300
00:11:23,050 --> 00:11:25,052
(door closes)
301
00:11:25,854 --> 00:11:28,255
Look who came to visit.
302
00:11:28,288 --> 00:11:30,157
Oh, great.
SHELDON:
You will
303
00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:32,159
think it's great when you hear
the brilliant legal strategy
304
00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:34,027
I have to keep Meemaw
out of prison.
305
00:11:34,061 --> 00:11:36,063
I thought
you were a science guy.
306
00:11:36,096 --> 00:11:38,632
I am, but sometimes
I like to spread my wings.
307
00:11:38,665 --> 00:11:40,935
Oh, okay. Uh, proceed.
308
00:11:40,969 --> 00:11:42,002
What do you got?
309
00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:43,437
It's simple.
310
00:11:43,470 --> 00:11:45,272
We argue under Article 46-B
of the Texas Penal Code
311
00:11:45,305 --> 00:11:48,275
that you're unfit to stand trial
due to mental incompetence.
312
00:11:48,308 --> 00:11:50,677
You-you want to tell 'em
I'm crazy?
313
00:11:50,711 --> 00:11:53,413
Yes. And keep this look.
It really bolsters our case.
314
00:11:54,681 --> 00:11:55,850
Has this worked before?
315
00:11:55,884 --> 00:11:56,885
It has.
316
00:11:56,918 --> 00:11:58,752
Oh. Well, that's good news.
317
00:11:58,785 --> 00:12:01,990
The bad news is, you'll probably
be institutionalized.
318
00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:05,192
You-you... you want me
to go to the nuthouse?
319
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:07,327
I want you
to stay out of prison.
320
00:12:07,361 --> 00:12:10,865
Oh, Moon Pie, thank you.
Thank you so much.
321
00:12:10,899 --> 00:12:12,065
I really do
322
00:12:12,099 --> 00:12:13,767
appreciate it, but I'm fine.
323
00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:16,838
You know, I have a buddy
whose nephew is a lawyer.
324
00:12:16,871 --> 00:12:18,205
He's gonna help us out.
325
00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:20,073
Is this because
I haven't passed the bar yet?
326
00:12:20,107 --> 00:12:21,876
Because that's just a formality.
A monkey could do it.
327
00:12:21,910 --> 00:12:25,212
No, I... I think that I'd just
feel a little more comfortable
328
00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:26,915
if I was getting advice
329
00:12:26,948 --> 00:12:31,118
from somebody who had a little
more professional experience.
330
00:12:31,151 --> 00:12:34,154
Okay. I mean, I've been
doing this for a day and a half,
331
00:12:34,187 --> 00:12:36,156
but suit yourself.
332
00:12:38,458 --> 00:12:39,459
(door closes)
333
00:12:39,493 --> 00:12:42,296
Got your eggs,
everything on the list.
334
00:12:42,329 --> 00:12:44,064
Thank you.
335
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:45,365
Also filled out
an application
336
00:12:45,399 --> 00:12:47,234
to be a bag boy
while I was there.
Oh.
337
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:50,637
Wonderful.
My son-in-law, the bag boy.
338
00:12:50,671 --> 00:12:52,172
It's only temporary.
339
00:12:52,205 --> 00:12:54,008
I'll make my way
up to cashier,
340
00:12:54,042 --> 00:12:56,243
then night manager,
then manager-manager,
341
00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:59,513
then regional supervisor, then
it's just a hop, skip and a jump
342
00:12:59,546 --> 00:13:02,016
to HQ. That's short
for headquarters.
343
00:13:02,050 --> 00:13:04,953
You can do all that
without a high school diploma?
344
00:13:04,986 --> 00:13:07,621
If you're a member
of the can-do club.
345
00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:11,491
God help me.
346
00:13:12,259 --> 00:13:15,195
I'll just put these away.
347
00:13:19,399 --> 00:13:22,102
What's the can-do club, and
why is my mom so mad about it?
348
00:13:25,172 --> 00:13:28,009
What are you doing?
349
00:13:28,042 --> 00:13:29,309
Cleaning out these rain gutters.
350
00:13:29,343 --> 00:13:30,945
Otherwise,
the water gets backed up
351
00:13:30,979 --> 00:13:32,679
and wrecks havoc on your roof.
352
00:13:32,713 --> 00:13:35,083
Wreaks... havoc.
353
00:13:35,115 --> 00:13:36,283
No, I'm pretty sure
it's wrecks,
354
00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:38,318
'cause that's what it do.
355
00:13:41,990 --> 00:13:44,157
Oh, look at that.
356
00:13:44,191 --> 00:13:46,159
(door opens)
Audrey, is this your Wham-O?
357
00:13:46,193 --> 00:13:49,396
(door closes)
Audrey?
358
00:13:49,429 --> 00:13:52,934
And the wolf said,
"I'm gonna huff
359
00:13:52,967 --> 00:13:55,435
and puff
and blow your house down."
360
00:13:55,469 --> 00:13:59,107
Don't worry. Daddy'll never
let that happen to you.
361
00:13:59,139 --> 00:14:00,975
I'm gonna keep you safe.
362
00:14:01,009 --> 00:14:02,709
(chuckles)
Uh-oh.
363
00:14:02,743 --> 00:14:04,711
Somebody needs a new diaper.
364
00:14:04,745 --> 00:14:07,247
Come on, let's get you one.
365
00:14:08,016 --> 00:14:09,449
Oh, hey.
366
00:14:09,483 --> 00:14:11,085
She's got you
and Mandy's good looks, but--
367
00:14:11,119 --> 00:14:13,420
phew-- she poops like her dad.
(laughs)
368
00:14:13,453 --> 00:14:15,489
Lovely.
369
00:14:19,226 --> 00:14:21,129
Your grandma's coming around
on me.
370
00:14:21,161 --> 00:14:22,562
(laughs)
Yeah, she is.
371
00:14:27,234 --> 00:14:28,936
The good news is,
I've had some encouraging talks
372
00:14:28,970 --> 00:14:31,204
with the district attorney,
and I think that we can...
373
00:14:31,238 --> 00:14:34,174
Hang on.
How old are you?
374
00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:36,476
I know I look young, but I'm 24.
375
00:14:36,510 --> 00:14:38,913
You bring me
a child attorney?
376
00:14:38,946 --> 00:14:42,016
Well, you were about to take
advice from a 14-year-old.
377
00:14:42,050 --> 00:14:43,450
Oh, who's that?
I might know him.
378
00:14:43,483 --> 00:14:45,218
Oh, just finish up
what you were saying.
379
00:14:45,252 --> 00:14:46,453
Right. A deal can be made
380
00:14:46,486 --> 00:14:48,089
without going to trial.
381
00:14:48,122 --> 00:14:50,390
You plead guilty, pay a fine,
lose your business license,
382
00:14:50,424 --> 00:14:52,192
maybe some community service,
383
00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:54,194
probation, but no jail time.
384
00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:55,863
So I'll lose the gambling room,
385
00:14:55,897 --> 00:14:59,633
but I can keep the Laundromat
and the video store?
No.
386
00:14:59,666 --> 00:15:02,202
Those are all considered a part
of the criminal enterprise.
387
00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:03,336
They get confiscated.
388
00:15:03,370 --> 00:15:05,305
What if I fight it?
389
00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:06,506
On what grounds?
390
00:15:06,540 --> 00:15:08,775
I didn't have an
illegal gambling room.
391
00:15:08,810 --> 00:15:11,079
I collected...
392
00:15:11,112 --> 00:15:12,713
antique slot machines.
393
00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:14,214
It was my hobby.
394
00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:15,415
And the evading arrest?
395
00:15:15,449 --> 00:15:17,317
I was just taking my
great-granddaughter
396
00:15:17,350 --> 00:15:19,153
for a brisk stroll.
397
00:15:19,187 --> 00:15:20,287
I'm confused.
398
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:22,456
Did we start
the insanity thing?
399
00:15:22,489 --> 00:15:24,224
I think you should
take this deal.
400
00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:25,726
Put everything behind you,
401
00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:26,760
get on with your life.
402
00:15:26,793 --> 00:15:28,628
What life? I have no life.
403
00:15:28,662 --> 00:15:29,529
You have me.
404
00:15:29,563 --> 00:15:31,032
Yeah, yeah.
405
00:15:31,065 --> 00:15:32,632
What if I
had something
406
00:15:32,666 --> 00:15:34,068
to offer?
407
00:15:34,102 --> 00:15:37,337
Then maybe I could keep my
businesses and skip the fine?
408
00:15:37,370 --> 00:15:38,572
What are you thinking?
409
00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:41,142
That greedy rat of a
cop I was paying off.
410
00:15:41,175 --> 00:15:42,143
Rutledge?
411
00:15:42,176 --> 00:15:43,610
He's the one who flipped on you.
412
00:15:43,643 --> 00:15:45,146
Son of a bitch.
413
00:15:45,179 --> 00:15:47,748
You can't even trust
a dirty cop these days.
414
00:15:47,781 --> 00:15:49,449
Come on, Connie.
Yeah.
415
00:15:49,483 --> 00:15:51,785
No one wants to see
a grandma behind bars.
416
00:15:51,819 --> 00:15:52,786
Great-grandma.
417
00:15:52,820 --> 00:15:54,055
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
418
00:15:54,088 --> 00:15:55,056
How old are you?
419
00:15:55,089 --> 00:15:56,389
None of your business.
420
00:15:57,091 --> 00:15:58,159
So,
421
00:15:58,192 --> 00:15:59,793
do I tell 'em we have a deal?
422
00:15:59,827 --> 00:16:01,795
Okay, fine.
423
00:16:01,829 --> 00:16:02,696
Oh, thank God.
424
00:16:02,729 --> 00:16:04,765
I'm too old
to find somebody new.
425
00:16:05,933 --> 00:16:07,534
♪ ♪
426
00:16:16,144 --> 00:16:17,912
What are you doing?
427
00:16:17,945 --> 00:16:19,579
Making a withdrawal.
428
00:16:19,613 --> 00:16:23,650
You put a hole in my wall
and hid money in it?
429
00:16:23,683 --> 00:16:24,618
It seemed safe.
430
00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:26,553
I mean, who'd look
for money in this dump?
431
00:16:27,354 --> 00:16:28,755
Why do you need it?
432
00:16:28,789 --> 00:16:30,290
Legal fees.
433
00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:31,725
Maybe a new gambling room.
434
00:16:31,758 --> 00:16:33,493
Mom.
By the way,
435
00:16:33,527 --> 00:16:36,396
what is that porta-potty
doing out there in your yard?
436
00:16:36,429 --> 00:16:38,365
We're having plumbing issues.
437
00:16:38,398 --> 00:16:39,867
We need a new septic tank.
438
00:16:39,901 --> 00:16:41,334
Ouch.
439
00:16:41,368 --> 00:16:42,736
Tell me about it.
440
00:16:44,238 --> 00:16:46,207
How much you got in there?
441
00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:47,340
None of your business.
442
00:16:47,374 --> 00:16:48,943
It's in my wall!
443
00:16:48,976 --> 00:16:50,410
It's the devil's money, Mary.
444
00:16:50,443 --> 00:16:52,646
You don't want it.
I don't care.
445
00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:55,348
Last night, I went to pee and
there was a snake in there.
446
00:16:55,382 --> 00:16:56,783
Here you go.
447
00:16:58,152 --> 00:17:00,221
Get yourself
some indoor plumbing.
448
00:17:00,254 --> 00:17:02,824
Oh, Mommy, thank you.
449
00:17:02,857 --> 00:17:03,891
(shrieks)
450
00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:07,727
Snake's back! Snake's back!
451
00:17:12,666 --> 00:17:14,701
Nice house.
452
00:17:15,735 --> 00:17:16,703
Got the job.
453
00:17:16,736 --> 00:17:18,438
Part-time bag boy.
454
00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:20,908
Well. They let you take
the apron home?
455
00:17:20,942 --> 00:17:22,844
Aw, shoot.
456
00:17:22,877 --> 00:17:24,312
(Mandy chuckles)
457
00:17:24,344 --> 00:17:25,645
That's great, Georgie.
I'm really proud of you.
458
00:17:25,679 --> 00:17:28,481
It's only temporary
till I find something better.
459
00:17:33,287 --> 00:17:34,654
Listen, Georgie,
460
00:17:34,688 --> 00:17:36,257
Audrey and I were thinking...
(clears throat)
461
00:17:36,290 --> 00:17:37,791
I was thinking...
462
00:17:37,825 --> 00:17:40,393
I could really use some help
down at the tire store.
463
00:17:40,427 --> 00:17:42,495
Really? Selling tires?
464
00:17:43,297 --> 00:17:44,664
You are not gonna regret this.
465
00:17:44,698 --> 00:17:46,167
I'll work my butt off for you.
466
00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:47,235
Nights, weekends, holidays--
467
00:17:47,268 --> 00:17:48,635
you name it, I am there.
468
00:17:49,703 --> 00:17:51,705
Pretty impressive kid, huh?
469
00:17:52,706 --> 00:17:53,740
We'll see.
470
00:17:54,608 --> 00:17:56,210
"We'll see"?
(scoffs)
471
00:17:56,244 --> 00:17:57,278
Good job.
472
00:17:57,311 --> 00:17:58,645
Told you.
(chuckles)
473
00:18:04,718 --> 00:18:07,420
♪ I go out walkin' ♪
474
00:18:07,454 --> 00:18:09,589
♪ After midnight ♪
475
00:18:09,623 --> 00:18:12,559
♪ Out in the moonlight ♪
476
00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:14,996
♪ Just like we used to do ♪
(sighs)
477
00:18:15,029 --> 00:18:16,496
♪ I'm always walkin'... ♪
(newspaper rustles)
478
00:18:16,529 --> 00:18:17,899
What the hell is...?
479
00:18:17,932 --> 00:18:18,966
Oh, a snake!
480
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:20,902
Snake! Oh! A snake!
481
00:18:20,935 --> 00:18:22,870
(whimpers):
Snake!
482
00:18:23,838 --> 00:18:24,906
Mary?!
483
00:18:24,939 --> 00:18:26,941
Bring a towel!
33935
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