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Previously on
Young Sheldon...
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00:00:04,047 --> 00:00:05,222
I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
3
00:00:05,353 --> 00:00:06,093
You may kiss the bride.
4
00:00:08,051 --> 00:00:09,922
We'd like to pay
for a honeymoon.
5
00:00:10,053 --> 00:00:12,664
What would you say
to an all-expenses-paid
6
00:00:12,795 --> 00:00:14,797
weekend at Dollywood?
7
00:00:14,927 --> 00:00:15,798
- Shut up.
- Oh, my God.
8
00:00:15,928 --> 00:00:16,929
Thank you.
9
00:00:17,060 --> 00:00:19,193
Huh? Oh, that ain't good.
10
00:00:20,585 --> 00:00:22,761
Connie
Tucker, please stop running.
11
00:00:22,892 --> 00:00:23,936
Why are you handcuffed?
12
00:00:24,067 --> 00:00:25,460
I was just...
13
00:00:25,590 --> 00:00:26,983
taking the baby for a walk,
14
00:00:27,114 --> 00:00:28,680
and Cagney and Lacey here
decided
15
00:00:28,811 --> 00:00:31,422
that I was evading arrest.
16
00:00:36,514 --> 00:00:37,863
How's that feel?
17
00:00:37,994 --> 00:00:39,300
Unnecessary.
18
00:00:39,430 --> 00:00:40,779
You ran from the police.
19
00:00:40,910 --> 00:00:42,085
You're a flight risk.
20
00:00:42,216 --> 00:00:44,044
She can't run.
She got a funky hip.
21
00:00:44,174 --> 00:00:46,220
- She can barely waddle.
- Watch it.
22
00:00:46,350 --> 00:00:47,612
You got a 50-yard radius
23
00:00:47,743 --> 00:00:49,353
from the base.
24
00:00:49,484 --> 00:00:50,702
It'll beep when you get
close to the edge.
25
00:00:50,833 --> 00:00:53,009
If you cross it, we get a call.
26
00:00:53,140 --> 00:00:55,707
If you tamper with it,
we get a call.
27
00:00:55,838 --> 00:00:57,231
Will it give her a little zap?
28
00:00:57,361 --> 00:00:58,754
No.
29
00:00:58,884 --> 00:01:00,060
Well, how's she gonna learn?
30
00:01:00,190 --> 00:01:02,018
Will it beep if I kill him?
31
00:01:02,149 --> 00:01:03,628
As long as
it's within 50 yards,
32
00:01:03,759 --> 00:01:05,326
go for it.
33
00:01:06,675 --> 00:01:08,633
I can't leave the house?
34
00:01:08,764 --> 00:01:11,114
What the hell am I supposed
to do all day?
35
00:01:11,245 --> 00:01:12,855
I am way ahead of you. See?
36
00:01:12,985 --> 00:01:15,075
I stopped
and I picked up puzzles.
37
00:01:15,205 --> 00:01:19,209
Got us the Grand Canyon
and Dogs Playing Poker.
38
00:01:19,340 --> 00:01:23,953
If I were to run right now,
would you shoot me?
39
00:01:25,607 --> 00:01:28,392
♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪
40
00:01:28,523 --> 00:01:30,655
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
41
00:01:30,786 --> 00:01:33,441
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
42
00:01:33,571 --> 00:01:36,008
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
43
00:01:36,139 --> 00:01:40,230
♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪
44
00:01:43,625 --> 00:01:45,496
Ooh. I found a corner.
45
00:01:45,627 --> 00:01:47,803
- Congratulations.
- Oh, come on.
46
00:01:47,933 --> 00:01:49,283
We can have a little fun.
47
00:01:49,413 --> 00:01:52,329
I have lost my business,
I have lost my home,
48
00:01:52,460 --> 00:01:55,854
I have lost my freedom,
and you want to have fun?
49
00:01:55,985 --> 00:01:58,205
A little fun.
50
00:01:58,335 --> 00:02:00,729
Do you not understand?
I could be going to jail.
51
00:02:00,859 --> 00:02:03,035
Oh, come on, please.
52
00:02:03,166 --> 00:02:05,864
They're not gonna send a sweet
old grandma to the pokey.
53
00:02:05,995 --> 00:02:07,475
Well, I hope not.
Ah.
54
00:02:07,605 --> 00:02:10,913
Well, tell me something
if you would.
55
00:02:11,043 --> 00:02:13,089
Is that sky or water?
56
00:02:13,220 --> 00:02:15,091
Let me see it.
57
00:02:17,615 --> 00:02:19,487
It's a good thing
that didn't go 50 yards.
58
00:02:19,617 --> 00:02:21,576
You can still get it.
59
00:02:23,273 --> 00:02:24,448
Hey, we're back.
60
00:02:24,579 --> 00:02:26,363
Hey, hi.
61
00:02:26,494 --> 00:02:27,625
Where's my little girl?
62
00:02:27,756 --> 00:02:30,933
Um, she's with Mary.
63
00:02:31,063 --> 00:02:32,152
Why?
64
00:02:32,282 --> 00:02:35,155
Well, how do I put this?
65
00:02:38,201 --> 00:02:40,116
What the heck is that?
66
00:02:40,247 --> 00:02:41,770
I'm under house arrest.
67
00:02:41,900 --> 00:02:43,380
Why?
68
00:02:43,511 --> 00:02:44,294
We got busted.
69
00:02:44,425 --> 00:02:45,295
We?
70
00:02:45,426 --> 00:02:46,818
Me.
71
00:02:46,949 --> 00:02:47,993
Do they know
about Georgie?
72
00:02:48,124 --> 00:02:49,517
No, of course not.
73
00:02:49,647 --> 00:02:51,214
Your grandma's not a snitch.
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00:02:51,345 --> 00:02:52,955
Which, by the way,
will serve you well
75
00:02:53,085 --> 00:02:55,305
if you end up
in the slammer.
76
00:02:55,436 --> 00:02:57,438
The pokey, the slammer.
What is it with you?
77
00:02:57,568 --> 00:02:58,874
I like cop shows.
You learn things.
78
00:02:59,004 --> 00:03:00,005
What about the Laundromat,
79
00:03:00,136 --> 00:03:01,529
the video store?
80
00:03:01,659 --> 00:03:03,270
They shut everything down.
81
00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:05,924
God. So what are we
gonna do for money?
Yeah.
82
00:03:06,055 --> 00:03:08,188
That's an excellent question.
83
00:03:10,755 --> 00:03:12,670
How was Dollywood?
84
00:03:12,801 --> 00:03:14,542
Magical. What are we gonna
do about money?
85
00:03:15,717 --> 00:03:17,371
Hey.
86
00:03:17,501 --> 00:03:18,763
Hello.
87
00:03:18,894 --> 00:03:20,200
Studying for a test?
88
00:03:20,330 --> 00:03:22,114
Studying to take the bar exam.
89
00:03:22,245 --> 00:03:23,638
Meemaw's going
to need a smart lawyer.
90
00:03:23,768 --> 00:03:25,901
By the time we find one, I could
just learn how to do it.
91
00:03:26,031 --> 00:03:27,642
- Seriously?
- Common law
92
00:03:27,772 --> 00:03:29,252
was invented by a bunch
of English farmers
93
00:03:29,383 --> 00:03:30,993
in the Middle Ages.
I think I can hack it.
94
00:03:31,123 --> 00:03:32,603
All right, what do you got?
95
00:03:32,734 --> 00:03:35,127
Well, have you ever heard
of Vincent "The Chin" Gigante?
96
00:03:35,258 --> 00:03:36,477
He a boxer?
97
00:03:36,607 --> 00:03:38,653
He was originally.
Good for you.
98
00:03:38,783 --> 00:03:40,132
But he's better known
99
00:03:40,263 --> 00:03:41,743
as a major crime boss
who managed
100
00:03:41,873 --> 00:03:42,787
to stay out of prison
by employing the legal doctrine
101
00:03:42,918 --> 00:03:44,224
of mens rea.
102
00:03:44,354 --> 00:03:45,790
Which is?
103
00:03:45,921 --> 00:03:47,314
He pretended to be nuts.
104
00:03:47,444 --> 00:03:48,924
He wandered the streets
of New York in a bathrobe,
105
00:03:49,054 --> 00:03:50,969
he had poor personal hygiene,
he mumbled to himself--
106
00:03:51,100 --> 00:03:52,493
all the cuckoo classics.
107
00:03:52,623 --> 00:03:54,538
Yeah. If you need someone
to testify
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00:03:54,669 --> 00:03:55,539
that she's off her rocker,
you give me a call.
109
00:03:55,670 --> 00:03:57,149
Thank you.
110
00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:58,673
Toilet's backed up.
111
00:03:58,803 --> 00:04:01,023
What? Don't look at me.
I just got home.
112
00:04:01,153 --> 00:04:03,373
Yeah, but it's had years of you.
113
00:04:03,504 --> 00:04:06,028
I'll check it out.
114
00:04:06,158 --> 00:04:08,422
Come on, little buddy.
115
00:04:08,552 --> 00:04:09,988
You can do it.
116
00:04:10,119 --> 00:04:11,860
Talk to me.
117
00:04:11,990 --> 00:04:13,862
There you go.
118
00:04:13,992 --> 00:04:16,386
Let it out.
119
00:04:16,517 --> 00:04:17,866
Aah!
120
00:04:21,957 --> 00:04:23,828
Years.
121
00:04:23,959 --> 00:04:25,395
♪ Pump it up. ♪
122
00:04:28,093 --> 00:04:29,269
Here's the estimate.
123
00:04:29,399 --> 00:04:30,835
I'm gonna need 50% down
to get started.
124
00:04:30,966 --> 00:04:32,620
Are you kidding me?
125
00:04:32,750 --> 00:04:35,057
We're fixing a toilet,
not buying a car.
126
00:04:35,187 --> 00:04:37,320
Good thing
I wasn't going to college.
127
00:04:37,451 --> 00:04:39,235
Nothing's wrong with your
toilet. Septic tank is shot.
128
00:04:39,366 --> 00:04:41,629
What's a septic tank?
129
00:04:41,759 --> 00:04:43,718
It's basically a big container
under the backyard
130
00:04:43,848 --> 00:04:45,850
that's filled up with
all your... bathroom business.
131
00:04:45,981 --> 00:04:48,026
Ew! I played in that yard.
132
00:04:48,157 --> 00:04:50,072
Missy, not now. Come on, Phil.
133
00:04:50,202 --> 00:04:51,900
Isn't there some kind of friends
and family discount?
134
00:04:52,030 --> 00:04:54,119
I mean, we went
to high school together.
135
00:04:54,250 --> 00:04:56,818
Yeah, and you were mean to me.
136
00:04:58,776 --> 00:05:01,997
Oh, come on! I-I was mad
at the world, not just you!
137
00:05:03,041 --> 00:05:05,696
I ate that dirt.
138
00:05:05,827 --> 00:05:07,132
Did he fix it?
139
00:05:07,263 --> 00:05:08,482
Not quite.
140
00:05:08,612 --> 00:05:09,570
And he's still a weasel.
141
00:05:09,700 --> 00:05:11,659
- What'd he do?
- Look.
142
00:05:11,789 --> 00:05:14,357
What a weasel.
143
00:05:14,488 --> 00:05:15,445
What are we gonna do?
I mean, we're six people.
144
00:05:15,576 --> 00:05:16,794
We need a toilet.
145
00:05:16,925 --> 00:05:18,883
Don't worry.
Georgie, come with me.
146
00:05:19,014 --> 00:05:20,624
- Where are we going?
- I got a plan.
147
00:05:20,755 --> 00:05:22,626
- Is it a good plan?
- Yeah.
148
00:05:22,757 --> 00:05:27,501
All right. So I believe
that completes the sky.
149
00:05:27,631 --> 00:05:29,154
Satisfying, huh?
150
00:05:29,285 --> 00:05:30,939
So, what do you think?
151
00:05:31,069 --> 00:05:33,420
Want to get some exercise,
152
00:05:33,550 --> 00:05:36,205
go for a walk
until you start beeping?
153
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:38,033
Ha, ha, ha.
It's not funny.
154
00:05:38,163 --> 00:05:39,556
My life is in shambles,
155
00:05:39,687 --> 00:05:40,905
and I'm too old to start over.
156
00:05:41,036 --> 00:05:42,603
Oh, come on.
157
00:05:42,733 --> 00:05:44,169
You are not too old.
158
00:05:44,300 --> 00:05:48,260
Now, listen, you are a smart,
vibrant, perky woman.
159
00:05:48,391 --> 00:05:50,698
- Perky?
- Well, yeah, compared to me.
160
00:05:50,828 --> 00:05:52,569
And I'll tell you
another thing.
161
00:05:52,700 --> 00:05:54,354
Your life's not over.
162
00:05:54,484 --> 00:05:58,749
You are writing a new chapter
in the book of you.
163
00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:00,795
A book where
164
00:06:00,925 --> 00:06:04,320
a perky heroine rises up
165
00:06:04,451 --> 00:06:05,582
and...
166
00:06:05,713 --> 00:06:07,541
And what?
167
00:06:07,671 --> 00:06:09,586
I don't know.
Y-You want to get drunk?
168
00:06:09,717 --> 00:06:11,240
- Yes.
- Great. I'm gonna
169
00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:12,850
run to the liquor store.
You want to come with me?
170
00:06:12,981 --> 00:06:15,418
- Dale!
- Right. Okay.
171
00:06:15,549 --> 00:06:17,420
Be back in a jiffy.
172
00:06:20,684 --> 00:06:23,818
God help me, I love him.
173
00:06:23,948 --> 00:06:26,255
All right,
just a little bit more.
174
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:29,127
Oh, easy, easy.
There you go.
175
00:06:29,258 --> 00:06:31,129
Yeah.
176
00:06:31,260 --> 00:06:33,044
- Not bad, huh?
- I don't know.
177
00:06:33,175 --> 00:06:34,742
Might look better
by the fence.
178
00:06:34,872 --> 00:06:38,093
Look better?
It's a big plastic crap house.
179
00:06:38,223 --> 00:06:39,442
Oh, dear Lord.
180
00:06:40,443 --> 00:06:43,098
You wanted a toilet? Voilà.
181
00:06:43,228 --> 00:06:44,795
Where did you get it?
182
00:06:44,926 --> 00:06:46,493
From the high school.
We got, like, ten of 'em
183
00:06:46,623 --> 00:06:48,190
for visiting teams.
Yeah... give it a whirl.
184
00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:50,061
I'd rather die.
185
00:06:51,367 --> 00:06:52,455
Is there
a light inside?
186
00:06:52,586 --> 00:06:54,631
- No.
- Trust me, that's a good thing.
187
00:06:54,762 --> 00:06:56,764
We'll just tie a flashlight
to the handle.
188
00:06:56,894 --> 00:06:59,157
Huh. I always wondered what
rock bottom would look like.
189
00:06:59,288 --> 00:07:01,072
Come on, at least
check it out.
190
00:07:05,294 --> 00:07:07,383
I checked, I'm out.
191
00:07:09,690 --> 00:07:11,561
I can't thank y'all enough.
192
00:07:11,692 --> 00:07:13,389
Oh, don't be silly.
Stay as long as you need.
193
00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:15,913
It's only temporary.
Whatever.
194
00:07:16,044 --> 00:07:17,915
We're just thrilled
to have you and the baby here.
195
00:07:18,046 --> 00:07:19,439
And me, too, right?
196
00:07:19,569 --> 00:07:21,441
Yes, you'll be here, too.
197
00:07:23,268 --> 00:07:24,966
Well, let me give you a hand.
198
00:07:25,096 --> 00:07:26,794
Oh. Thanks.
Now, Georgie,
199
00:07:26,924 --> 00:07:28,883
if the police come for you,
what should we tell them?
200
00:07:29,013 --> 00:07:31,146
Mom.
I'm sorry.
201
00:07:31,276 --> 00:07:34,105
I've never harbored
a fugitive before.
Mom!
202
00:07:42,070 --> 00:07:43,027
Who's that guy?
203
00:07:43,158 --> 00:07:44,289
It's Donny Osmond.
204
00:07:44,420 --> 00:07:45,856
Never heard of him.
205
00:07:45,987 --> 00:07:47,423
You know, Donny and Marie?
206
00:07:47,554 --> 00:07:49,773
Sometimes I forget
how old you are.
207
00:07:49,904 --> 00:07:51,819
Thank you.
208
00:07:51,949 --> 00:07:53,995
I'm sorry about my mom.
209
00:07:54,125 --> 00:07:56,737
You kidding? We got a double bed
and an indoor bathroom.
210
00:07:56,867 --> 00:07:58,086
She can spit in my Corn Flakes,
and I'm a happy camper.
211
00:07:58,216 --> 00:08:01,045
Good, 'cause she might.
212
00:08:01,176 --> 00:08:02,830
Don't worry. I'll win her over.
213
00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:05,049
- She thinks you ruined my life.
- So?
214
00:08:05,180 --> 00:08:07,878
You thought I ruined your life,
and you married me.
215
00:08:08,009 --> 00:08:11,186
I called it. I said no good
would come of this marriage.
216
00:08:11,316 --> 00:08:12,927
Yeah, yeah, you said it a lot.
217
00:08:13,057 --> 00:08:14,581
You said it at the wedding.
218
00:08:14,711 --> 00:08:16,278
But, uh, still, you know, I...
219
00:08:16,408 --> 00:08:18,454
I think you could be
a little nicer to him.
220
00:08:18,585 --> 00:08:20,848
Sure, I can also go
out in the backyard
221
00:08:20,978 --> 00:08:23,024
and water the crabgrass.
222
00:08:24,199 --> 00:08:26,767
- We're gonna be okay, right?
- Oh, of course.
223
00:08:26,897 --> 00:08:28,420
How can you be so sure?
224
00:08:28,551 --> 00:08:30,858
Hey, you didn't just marry a
pretty boy like Danny over here.
225
00:08:30,988 --> 00:08:33,338
- Donny.
- Yeah, him. You know,
226
00:08:33,469 --> 00:08:35,384
I'm the hardest worker
you'll ever meet.
227
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:37,778
When I see something I want,
I don't stop till I get it.
228
00:08:37,908 --> 00:08:39,170
You are relentless.
229
00:08:40,389 --> 00:08:42,434
The good news is,
with Amanda back in the house,
230
00:08:42,565 --> 00:08:44,393
I can help her come
to her senses.
231
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:47,265
Good plan. Hey, uh,
in the meantime,
232
00:08:47,396 --> 00:08:49,441
I was thinking of putting
Georgie to work at the store.
233
00:08:49,572 --> 00:08:52,488
There you go,
watering the crabgrass.
234
00:08:52,619 --> 00:08:54,490
It's not charity,
all right? He'll work.
235
00:08:54,621 --> 00:08:56,057
He's a criminal, Jim.
236
00:08:56,187 --> 00:08:59,408
And what I want is
to take care of you and CeeCee
237
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:01,802
and maybe someday
a Georgie Junior Junior.
238
00:09:01,932 --> 00:09:03,630
You mean George the Third.
239
00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:06,328
No, that's too fancy.
He'd get his ass kicked.
240
00:09:06,458 --> 00:09:08,460
- Mm, yeah.
- And for your information,
241
00:09:08,591 --> 00:09:10,898
those little backroom
slot machines are all over town.
242
00:09:11,028 --> 00:09:12,334
How do you know?
243
00:09:13,335 --> 00:09:14,858
People tell me stuff.
244
00:09:16,251 --> 00:09:18,688
I... I just got--
I got one of them faces.
245
00:09:20,429 --> 00:09:22,692
I had a plan
to avoid using the porta-potty.
246
00:09:22,823 --> 00:09:24,781
I just had
to get through the night
247
00:09:24,912 --> 00:09:26,827
until I could get back
to my dorm in the morning.
248
00:09:26,957 --> 00:09:29,351
I lowered
my overall liquid intake,
249
00:09:29,481 --> 00:09:31,440
skipped my pre-bed
chamomile tea,
250
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:34,574
and gave my bladder
a stern talking to.
251
00:09:34,704 --> 00:09:36,750
My bladder did not listen.
252
00:09:44,105 --> 00:09:45,585
I can do this.
253
00:09:45,715 --> 00:09:46,803
My body may have been weak,
254
00:09:46,934 --> 00:09:48,849
but my mind was strong.
255
00:09:48,979 --> 00:09:50,285
I just needed
to think about this situation
256
00:09:50,415 --> 00:09:51,808
in a different way.
257
00:09:51,939 --> 00:09:54,637
Instead of a porta-potty,
it was a TARDIS.
258
00:09:54,768 --> 00:09:57,553
Instead of Sheldon,
I was Doctor Who,
259
00:09:57,684 --> 00:10:00,687
whose urine was ready to travel
through space and time.
260
00:10:01,949 --> 00:10:03,820
For those who aren't familiar,
261
00:10:03,951 --> 00:10:06,214
the TARDIS is bigger
on the inside.
262
00:10:06,344 --> 00:10:09,130
This one, however,
was smellier on the inside.
263
00:10:09,260 --> 00:10:11,393
I can't do this.
264
00:10:12,699 --> 00:10:15,136
I'm not proud of this,
but that night,
265
00:10:15,266 --> 00:10:18,835
I relieved myself inside
Billy Sparks' chicken coop.
266
00:10:18,966 --> 00:10:21,142
Until my wife,
those hens were the only females
267
00:10:21,272 --> 00:10:23,318
I ever exposed myself to.
268
00:10:25,929 --> 00:10:28,192
I guess
I could have left that part out.
269
00:10:28,323 --> 00:10:29,063
Oh, well.
270
00:10:30,368 --> 00:10:31,152
More bacon?
271
00:10:31,282 --> 00:10:32,980
Pile it on.
272
00:10:33,110 --> 00:10:34,111
Good morning.
273
00:10:34,242 --> 00:10:35,939
Morning. Have a seat.
274
00:10:37,245 --> 00:10:39,508
Georgie made us breakfast.
Isn't that nice?
275
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:41,553
Oh, well, look at that.
Thank you.
276
00:10:41,684 --> 00:10:43,425
- My pleasure.
- I guess
277
00:10:43,555 --> 00:10:44,600
I'll just have to run
to the supermarket later
278
00:10:44,731 --> 00:10:46,471
and get some more eggs
279
00:10:46,602 --> 00:10:48,386
for that cake
I was going to make.
280
00:10:49,823 --> 00:10:52,695
Oh, no problem.
I-I can go to the grocery store.
281
00:10:52,826 --> 00:10:55,263
Oh. Apparently
we're not job-hunting today.
282
00:10:55,393 --> 00:10:58,701
Oh, speaking of jobs.
283
00:10:59,702 --> 00:11:01,617
Good luck to you, son.
284
00:11:04,315 --> 00:11:07,057
Meemaw. Meemaw.
285
00:11:07,188 --> 00:11:08,755
Meemaw.
286
00:11:10,060 --> 00:11:11,801
What?
287
00:11:11,932 --> 00:11:13,977
Oh, my, you look terrible.
288
00:11:14,108 --> 00:11:14,978
Are you sick?
289
00:11:15,109 --> 00:11:17,241
Of life, yes.
290
00:11:17,372 --> 00:11:18,721
Oh, good. That's not contagious.
291
00:11:18,852 --> 00:11:21,071
Get in here.
The light's killing me.
292
00:11:21,202 --> 00:11:23,117
You smell like alcohol. Yucky.
293
00:11:26,076 --> 00:11:28,557
Look who came to visit.
294
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:30,690
- Oh, great.
- You will
295
00:11:30,820 --> 00:11:32,692
think it's great when you hear
the brilliant legal strategy
296
00:11:32,822 --> 00:11:34,389
I have to keep Meemaw
out of prison.
297
00:11:34,519 --> 00:11:36,478
I thought
you were a science guy.
298
00:11:36,608 --> 00:11:38,872
I am, but sometimes
I like to spread my wings.
299
00:11:39,002 --> 00:11:41,222
Oh, okay. Uh, proceed.
300
00:11:41,352 --> 00:11:42,005
What do you got?
301
00:11:42,136 --> 00:11:43,877
It's simple.
302
00:11:44,007 --> 00:11:45,879
We argue under Article 46-B
of the Texas Penal Code
303
00:11:46,009 --> 00:11:48,533
that you're unfit to stand trial
due to mental incompetence.
304
00:11:48,664 --> 00:11:51,058
You-you want to tell 'em
I'm crazy?
305
00:11:51,188 --> 00:11:53,495
Yes. And keep this look.
It really bolsters our case.
306
00:11:55,018 --> 00:11:56,019
Has this worked before?
307
00:11:56,150 --> 00:11:57,064
It has.
308
00:11:57,194 --> 00:11:59,196
Oh. Well, that's good news.
309
00:11:59,327 --> 00:12:02,286
The bad news is, you'll probably
be institutionalized.
310
00:12:02,417 --> 00:12:05,725
You-you... you want me
to go to the nuthouse?
311
00:12:05,855 --> 00:12:07,944
I want you
to stay out of prison.
312
00:12:08,075 --> 00:12:10,991
Oh, Moon Pie, thank you.
Thank you so much.
313
00:12:11,121 --> 00:12:12,470
I really do
314
00:12:12,601 --> 00:12:14,255
appreciate it, but I'm fine.
315
00:12:14,385 --> 00:12:16,953
You know, I have a buddy
whose nephew is a lawyer.
316
00:12:17,084 --> 00:12:18,650
He's gonna help us out.
317
00:12:18,781 --> 00:12:20,435
Is this because
I haven't passed the bar yet?
318
00:12:20,565 --> 00:12:22,480
Because that's just a formality.
A monkey could do it.
319
00:12:22,611 --> 00:12:25,440
No, I... I think that I'd just
feel a little more comfortable
320
00:12:25,570 --> 00:12:27,181
if I was getting advice
321
00:12:27,311 --> 00:12:31,533
from somebody who had a little
more professional experience.
322
00:12:31,663 --> 00:12:34,275
Okay. I mean, I've been
doing this for a day and a half,
323
00:12:34,405 --> 00:12:35,929
but suit yourself.
324
00:12:40,020 --> 00:12:42,152
Got your eggs,
everything on the list.
325
00:12:42,283 --> 00:12:44,372
Thank you.
326
00:12:44,502 --> 00:12:45,895
Also filled out
an application
327
00:12:46,026 --> 00:12:47,767
to be a bag boy
while I was there.
Oh.
328
00:12:47,897 --> 00:12:50,857
Wonderful.
My son-in-law, the bag boy.
329
00:12:50,987 --> 00:12:52,597
It's only temporary.
330
00:12:52,728 --> 00:12:54,251
I'll make my way
up to cashier,
331
00:12:54,382 --> 00:12:56,688
then night manager,
then manager-manager,
332
00:12:56,819 --> 00:12:59,953
then regional supervisor, then
it's just a hop, skip and a jump
333
00:13:00,083 --> 00:13:02,259
to HQ. That's short
for headquarters.
334
00:13:02,390 --> 00:13:05,132
You can do all that
without a high school diploma?
335
00:13:05,262 --> 00:13:07,830
If you're a member
of the can-do club.
336
00:13:09,484 --> 00:13:11,529
God help me.
337
00:13:12,487 --> 00:13:14,924
I'll just put these away.
338
00:13:20,103 --> 00:13:22,018
What's the can-do club, and
why is my mom so mad about it?
339
00:13:25,674 --> 00:13:28,198
What are you doing?
340
00:13:28,329 --> 00:13:29,852
Cleaning out these rain gutters.
341
00:13:29,983 --> 00:13:31,114
Otherwise,
the water gets backed up
342
00:13:31,245 --> 00:13:32,899
and wrecks havoc on your roof.
343
00:13:33,029 --> 00:13:35,379
Wreaks... havoc.
344
00:13:35,510 --> 00:13:36,511
No, I'm pretty sure
it's wrecks,
345
00:13:36,641 --> 00:13:38,165
'cause that's what it do.
346
00:13:42,256 --> 00:13:44,562
Oh, look at that.
347
00:13:44,693 --> 00:13:46,564
Audrey, is this your Wham-O?
348
00:13:46,695 --> 00:13:48,828
Audrey?
349
00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:53,049
And the wolf said,
"I'm gonna huff
350
00:13:53,180 --> 00:13:56,096
and puff
and blow your house down."
351
00:13:56,226 --> 00:13:59,403
Don't worry. Daddy'll never
let that happen to you.
352
00:13:59,534 --> 00:14:01,144
I'm gonna keep you safe.
353
00:14:01,275 --> 00:14:02,885
Uh-oh.
354
00:14:03,016 --> 00:14:04,887
Somebody needs a new diaper.
355
00:14:05,018 --> 00:14:06,976
Come on, let's get you one.
356
00:14:08,238 --> 00:14:10,110
Oh, hey.
357
00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:11,372
She's got you
and Mandy's good looks, but--
358
00:14:11,502 --> 00:14:13,330
phew-- she poops like her dad.
359
00:14:13,461 --> 00:14:15,506
Lovely.
360
00:14:19,641 --> 00:14:21,425
Your grandma's coming around
on me.
361
00:14:21,556 --> 00:14:22,644
Yeah, she is.
362
00:14:29,303 --> 00:14:30,782
The good news is,
I've had some encouraging talks
363
00:14:30,913 --> 00:14:31,740
with the district attorney,
and I think that we can...
364
00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:34,612
Hang on.
How old are you?
365
00:14:34,743 --> 00:14:37,006
I know I look young, but I'm 24.
366
00:14:37,137 --> 00:14:39,530
You bring me
a child attorney?
367
00:14:39,661 --> 00:14:42,316
Well, you were about to take
advice from a 14-year-old.
368
00:14:42,446 --> 00:14:43,883
Oh, who's that?
I might know him.
369
00:14:44,013 --> 00:14:45,710
Oh, just finish up
what you were saying.
370
00:14:45,841 --> 00:14:46,842
Right. A deal can be made
371
00:14:46,973 --> 00:14:48,539
without going to trial.
372
00:14:48,670 --> 00:14:50,802
You plead guilty, pay a fine,
lose your business license,
373
00:14:50,933 --> 00:14:52,674
maybe some community service,
374
00:14:52,804 --> 00:14:54,632
probation, but no jail time.
375
00:14:54,763 --> 00:14:56,286
So I'll lose the gambling room,
376
00:14:56,417 --> 00:15:00,551
but I can keep the Laundromat
and the video store?
No.
377
00:15:00,682 --> 00:15:02,640
Those are all considered a part
of the criminal enterprise.
378
00:15:02,771 --> 00:15:03,641
They get confiscated.
379
00:15:03,772 --> 00:15:05,556
What if I fight it?
380
00:15:05,687 --> 00:15:07,036
On what grounds?
381
00:15:07,167 --> 00:15:09,125
I didn't have an
illegal gambling room.
382
00:15:09,256 --> 00:15:11,388
I collected...
383
00:15:11,519 --> 00:15:13,042
antique slot machines.
384
00:15:13,173 --> 00:15:14,696
It was my hobby.
385
00:15:14,826 --> 00:15:15,958
And the evading arrest?
386
00:15:16,089 --> 00:15:17,568
I was just taking my
great-granddaughter
387
00:15:17,699 --> 00:15:19,266
for a brisk stroll.
388
00:15:19,396 --> 00:15:20,832
I'm confused.
389
00:15:20,963 --> 00:15:22,878
Did we start
the insanity thing?
390
00:15:23,009 --> 00:15:24,706
I think you should
take this deal.
391
00:15:24,836 --> 00:15:26,012
Put everything behind you,
392
00:15:26,142 --> 00:15:27,100
get on with your life.
393
00:15:27,230 --> 00:15:28,797
What life? I have no life.
394
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:29,624
You have me.
395
00:15:29,754 --> 00:15:31,321
Yeah, yeah.
396
00:15:31,452 --> 00:15:32,801
What if I
had something
397
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:34,585
to offer?
398
00:15:34,716 --> 00:15:37,632
Then maybe I could keep my
businesses and skip the fine?
399
00:15:37,762 --> 00:15:39,025
What are you thinking?
400
00:15:39,155 --> 00:15:41,201
That greedy rat of a
cop I was paying off.
401
00:15:41,331 --> 00:15:42,506
Rutledge?
402
00:15:42,637 --> 00:15:43,725
He's the one who flipped on you.
403
00:15:43,855 --> 00:15:45,509
Son of a bitch.
404
00:15:45,640 --> 00:15:47,990
You can't even trust
a dirty cop these days.
405
00:15:48,121 --> 00:15:50,123
- Come on, Connie.
- Yeah.
406
00:15:50,253 --> 00:15:52,125
No one wants to see
a grandma behind bars.
407
00:15:52,255 --> 00:15:53,126
Great-grandma.
408
00:15:53,256 --> 00:15:54,344
- Oh, wow.
- Yeah.
409
00:15:54,475 --> 00:15:55,345
How old are you?
410
00:15:55,476 --> 00:15:56,390
None of your business.
411
00:15:57,173 --> 00:15:58,566
So,
412
00:15:58,696 --> 00:16:00,133
do I tell 'em we have a deal?
413
00:16:00,263 --> 00:16:02,135
Okay, fine.
414
00:16:02,265 --> 00:16:03,223
Oh, thank God.
415
00:16:03,353 --> 00:16:05,094
I'm too old
to find somebody new.
416
00:16:16,540 --> 00:16:18,281
What are you doing?
417
00:16:18,412 --> 00:16:20,066
Making a withdrawal.
418
00:16:20,196 --> 00:16:23,765
You put a hole in my wall
and hid money in it?
419
00:16:23,895 --> 00:16:24,940
It seemed safe.
420
00:16:25,071 --> 00:16:26,681
I mean, who'd look
for money in this dump?
421
00:16:27,682 --> 00:16:28,988
Why do you need it?
422
00:16:29,118 --> 00:16:30,772
Legal fees.
423
00:16:30,902 --> 00:16:31,947
Maybe a new gambling room.
424
00:16:32,078 --> 00:16:34,210
- Mom.
- By the way,
425
00:16:34,341 --> 00:16:36,691
what is that porta-potty
doing out there in your yard?
426
00:16:36,821 --> 00:16:38,606
We're having plumbing issues.
427
00:16:38,736 --> 00:16:40,216
We need a new septic tank.
428
00:16:40,347 --> 00:16:41,522
Ouch.
429
00:16:41,652 --> 00:16:43,002
Tell me about it.
430
00:16:44,742 --> 00:16:46,527
How much you got in there?
431
00:16:46,657 --> 00:16:47,571
None of your business.
432
00:16:47,702 --> 00:16:49,312
It's in my wall!
433
00:16:49,443 --> 00:16:51,010
It's the devil's money, Mary.
434
00:16:51,140 --> 00:16:53,490
- You don't want it.
- I don't care.
435
00:16:53,621 --> 00:16:55,536
Last night, I went to pee and
there was a snake in there.
436
00:16:55,666 --> 00:16:57,059
Here you go.
437
00:16:58,539 --> 00:17:00,628
Get yourself
some indoor plumbing.
438
00:17:00,758 --> 00:17:03,152
Oh, Mommy, thank you.
439
00:17:05,981 --> 00:17:07,939
Snake's back! Snake's back!
440
00:17:12,857 --> 00:17:14,903
Nice house.
441
00:17:15,947 --> 00:17:16,818
Got the job.
442
00:17:16,948 --> 00:17:19,038
Part-time bag boy.
443
00:17:19,168 --> 00:17:21,257
Well. They let you take
the apron home?
444
00:17:21,388 --> 00:17:23,129
Aw, shoot.
445
00:17:24,608 --> 00:17:26,175
That's great, Georgie.
I'm really proud of you.
446
00:17:26,306 --> 00:17:28,395
It's only temporary
till I find something better.
447
00:17:33,748 --> 00:17:35,184
Listen, Georgie,
448
00:17:35,315 --> 00:17:36,620
Audrey and I were thinking...
449
00:17:36,751 --> 00:17:38,405
I was thinking...
450
00:17:38,535 --> 00:17:40,624
I could really use some help
down at the tire store.
451
00:17:40,755 --> 00:17:42,496
Really? Selling tires?
452
00:17:43,758 --> 00:17:45,107
You are not gonna regret this.
453
00:17:45,238 --> 00:17:46,456
I'll work my butt off for you.
454
00:17:46,587 --> 00:17:47,544
Nights, weekends, holidays--
455
00:17:47,675 --> 00:17:48,763
you name it, I am there.
456
00:17:50,243 --> 00:17:51,853
Pretty impressive kid, huh?
457
00:17:52,854 --> 00:17:53,898
We'll see.
458
00:17:55,117 --> 00:17:56,510
"We'll see"?
459
00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:57,598
Good job.
460
00:17:57,728 --> 00:17:58,686
Told you.
461
00:18:05,301 --> 00:18:07,608
♪ I go out walkin' ♪
462
00:18:07,738 --> 00:18:10,001
♪ After midnight ♪
463
00:18:10,132 --> 00:18:13,179
♪ Out in the moonlight ♪
464
00:18:13,309 --> 00:18:15,485
♪ Just like we used to do
465
00:18:15,616 --> 00:18:16,791
♪ I'm always walkin'...
466
00:18:16,921 --> 00:18:18,140
What the hell is...?
467
00:18:18,271 --> 00:18:19,315
Oh, a snake!
468
00:18:19,446 --> 00:18:21,230
Snake! Oh! A snake!
469
00:18:21,361 --> 00:18:23,145
Snake!
470
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:25,234
Mary?!
471
00:18:25,365 --> 00:18:26,105
Bring a towel!
472
00:18:31,066 --> 00:18:33,938
Captioning sponsored by
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473
00:18:34,069 --> 00:18:36,637
WARNER BROS. TELEVISION
474
00:18:36,767 --> 00:18:39,944
and TOYOTA.
475
00:18:40,075 --> 00:18:44,075
Captioned by
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