Original subtitles

Being with an Asian man is really different

to being with a white man.

It's just something you'll never really understand.

I could date an Asian man if I wanted to!

No, you couldn't.

It's not my fault you're not in touch with your inner Asian.

Are you serious about decolonising this, and this?

(BREATHES HEAVILY)

Here comes the Asian invasion.

I can't, I can't, I can't!

MAN: She's seeing someone, I know it.

Frankly, Jack needs to move on.

Good news, boofhead. Your mum's not seeing anyone after all.

Ah.

(KEYBOARD KEYS TAP)

You're mine now.

You sure about that? I'm not giving up that easy.

(KNOCK AT DOOR)

Oh, shit!

(KNOCK AT DOOR) WOMAN: Jane?

Sorry, Mum, doing... homework.

I got you now.

Crap, got to go.

(PHONE BEEPS) (COMPUTER BEEPS) Game over.

Why are you being weird?

You got a letter...

..from Korea.

It's from your birth father.

Ow, ooh.

Are you still sore from yoga? Yeah.

Wait, you went to yoga? Yeah.

Oh, yeah, and check this out, Janey.

Oh.

Your mum always wanted me to be more adventurous with my fashion.

Ah...

Don't yuck Jack's yum.

You could afford to be a bit more adventurous.

Dad, you know with Mum, it's not really about, you know,

hipster shirts and yoga, right?

Yeah, that's why I rang her yesterday

and we had this brilliant chat, you know,

all about feelings and everything.

Really? Look at you, Jack.

Tackling your emotional baggage head on.

Just trying to move with the times. Oh, oh, oh!

I think I got something.

Ugh!

(GASPS)

(MEN LAUGH)

Bloody cheap Chinese crap.

Janey never really got the hang of casting.

No, I can do it!

Whoa! So tense.

Maybe you need yoga more than your dad does.

She's not into that kind of stuff, eh, love?

No, what's that... what's that supposed to mean?

Look, I could... I could go to yoga

and wear fancy shit and talk about feelings, and...

Oh, damn! I just realised that, that I double booked and I'm

actually supposed to be on a date right now,

yeah, talking feelings with him. Are you leaving?

Oh, shit, I think I got something! Have fun camping.

Yeah, yeah. See you, sweetie. See yo tomorrow.

Breathe, don't panic. Face your fears.

What if he's big, though?

Yeah, it's alright. Not bigger than you.

That's true, I'm bigger than him. You're bigger than the fish.

(PHONE BEEPS)

(PHONE RINGS)

(PHONE BUZZES)

(RINGING CONTINUES)

(PHONE CHIMES) MAN: What do you want, Jane?

Oh, hi!

You answered.

I thought we should talk

about our... our feelings and everything.

The other day I was, uh,

confused and there was a lot of stuff

going on in my head and I freaked out.

I really want to try again.

So, what do you think?

I think you're not ready.

(PHONE BEEPS)

Hello?

Damn! Uh!

You're not ready...

(ECHO) ..ready... ready.

Sorry! Sorry.

(SHRIEKS)

Ugh!

I can't, I can't, I can't!

"Get ready"?

(PANTS)

Come on, mate.

(GRUNTS)

(DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)

(GRUNTS, PANTS)

Don't worry, I got this.

I got this.

Oh.

Oh.

Hi!

Timmy... let's get ready.

(GASPS)

Oh.

♪ She'll be living large hoodie in church

♪ She got that leopard print on

♪ Leopard print on

♪ She got that tiger blood

♪ Feline on the hunt

♪ High tops in temples Go, Chita, go!

♪ Lotus from the mud

♪ Coming for your love

♪ High tops in temples Go, Chita, go!

♪ She got that bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce

♪ Baby got bounce... ♪

Oh, come on. No, right.

Oh.

Right.

Of course Jezza likes you.

He's basically your boyfriend.

Oh, shut up!

He's not my boyfriend, Edi. And I don't know,

whenever I'm with him and his friends,

he kind of ignores me.

Some guys are just like that.

Davo isn't like that with you.

Davo is a little perv.

Seriously. Jezza invited you to dinner.

Maybe he's gonna ask you to be his GF for real!

Guess you'll find out tonight.

OK, see ya.

I can't believe you never saw this movie, Jack.

It's very progressive.

It marks a new era in Australian cinema.

Drag queens in the desert. Who would have thought?

Is that a ping-pong?

Oh, this bit makes me nervous.

You wouldn't believe the number of people coming into Emergency

with things stuck up their... Hey, hey, put a sock in it!

Ooh! Ooh! Very accurate.

You know who she looks like? Who?

Becky from the Dragon Empress.

Yeah. Sweet-and-sour pork with a side of ping-pong.

(POPPING NOISE)

(LAUGHTER)

I'm coming, Timmy.

Just one more.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Oh! Thank God!

Edi! Kong!

Hi!

What are you two doing here?

We've come to pick up my armchair. Remember? I texted you.

Yes, of course I remember. Come in. Come in, come on.

Did you have a Gotcha Day party?

Oh, it was just me and a friend.

What's Gotcha Day? It's an adopted thing.

'Cause they don't know Jane's actual birthday,

they celebrate it on the day they got her. Isn't that cute?

Oh! Have a shot.

Yes, yes, celebrate with me. No, we can't stay.

We're going to play pickle ball. Oh. Cool.

Saturday's date-day. Mwah! Mwah!

Come on. Just one drink. Just one.

OK, that's not true. The boys loved you, Jane.

Um, no, they didn't.

What about Jezza?

Edi, she was the popular one.

All the boys were, like, obsessed with her.

I'm not surprised.

I am utterly and completely obsessed with her, too.

Mwah. My queen.

Mwah. My King.

There was, there was a bit of chip and it's gone now.

Here's to the two lovebirds.

You are so, so lucky. I really am.

I am the luckiest girl in the world.

(SIGHS)

We should really get going. Ka and Henry are waiting for us.

Wait. Ka and Henry? It's double-date day.

Honey, would you mind just putting the armchair

in the car for me?

Thank you.

Work those muscles, Kong!

Thanks, honey. What the fuck was that?

Sorry?

You were just hitting on my husband.

Oh, my God! What, Edi!

Why would I hit on Kong?

I don't, I don't need to hit on your husband.

I, I am getting a lot of dick. I...

A lot of Asian dick, actually, so...

Yeah.

Yeah. I really hope that

one day, you get to experience more than just dick, Jane.

Dammit, I blinked.

Song Joo, I think that name suits you.

What do you think?

(GROANS)

I'm sorry.

Oh, oh, oh, you silly little sausage.

(MOBILE NOTIFICATION PINGS)

Shall we, Song Joo?

Yes, OK. Yes, let's do it.

Corndogs are the ultimate comfort food.

It's so great to be back.

Naneun hanguk-eul sarang-hae.

Next one?

This is what, my fifth time back in Korea?

And every time, I feel more and more like this is my home.

Being surrounded by people who look like me, it's...

I feel... safe.

Gross. Stop it, Jezza.

OK, boys, enough.

Oi!

I said that's enough.

Something wrong with your sweet-and-sour pork?

Oh, no, it's delicious. I'm just really full.

Thanks, Becky.

Jockey George!

Giddy-up, clear them plates.

Hey, Jockey George! What's it like having a dragon lady for a mum?

She's actually really nice.

Hey! Is Jockey George your boyfriend?

Ew! Of course not.

Yeah. Ew, of course not. He's like a brother.

Oh, my God.

Dragon lady could be your real mum.

Jane isn't even Chinese.

Oh! What are you, then?

Um, I was adopted from Korea.

Oh! Where is that?

Do you wear those kind of outfits where you're from, huh?

Oi. My mum said Becky is one of those mail-order brides.

That's so gross!

Yeah, yuck! Becky, she's like the ping-pong woman.

You mean from the drag queen movie? Wait, what's the ping-pong woman?

In the movie, this Asian lady dances up on the bar

and, you know...

Pops ping-pong balls out of her vag.

(LAUGHTER)

You're such a legend, Janey.

Yu Chang...

I'm gonna do you.

(DOOR BURSTS OPEN)

What...? Oh, what are you doing here?

You're not, you're not, you're not, far out!

You're not supposed to be home until tomorrow!

Right, um, I, um...

We should, we should...

..give you a minute.

Whoa-oh! Ooph!

Oh, wow, that is so life-like!

I mean, what even is this material?

He's definitely got some weight behind him.

Built to last. Built to last, my arse.

More cheap Chinese crap.

Song Joo is not Chinese, Dad.

But if he was Chinese,

what would be so wrong with that, huh?

Huh?

I like Chinese stuff.

It's a hunk of plastic, Jane.

Don't call him that!

Whatever's going on between you and Wong Foo, it's got...

It's Song Joo. I don't want anything to do with it.

So you don't want to have anything to do with Song Joo,

but you'll do yoga with Charlie

and talk about feelings with Mum, even though she's totally moved on.

Moved on? Who with?

Come on, Dad.

Why do you think she's hanging out so much with Llewellyn?

They're in a relationship.

Like, sexual.

Oh.

Right.

Dad...

Oh!

Oh, fuck, fuck.

Jane!

You go first.

Have those been up your vag, Jane?

Just need better ammo.

Jane, your turn.

Oh, go, go, go!

Come on.

Oh, my God, the eggs, the eggs.

That was great, oh, that was amazing.

Oh, my God. Did you see her face? She was fuming. She was fuming.

She was so mad. So mad.

No, you didn't. You almost missed. You almost missed.

Whoo! Jezza! Jezza and Jane!

(HEARTBEATS)

♪ There are no words I have to say

♪ In this moonlight

♪ You're asking me if I'm OK

♪ But I need time...

♪ ..to process...

♪ ..all these things... ♪

"Yu Chang, I'm gonna do you."

Shut up. Oh, my God, shut up. Don't.

"I'm gonna do you so good." Charlie, Charlie.

"I'm gonna do you so good!" Charlie, shut up!

Shut up, I'm never gonna do Yu Chang, OK?

I fucked it up with Yu Chang.

I fucked it up with Dad, Edi hates me.

I'm just... I'm just shit,

I'm just a fucking shitty, shitty human.

And I'm a racist. You're not that shit.

And I'm fucking shit.

I am that shit, Charlie. I'm, I'm shit.

OK?

I don't, I don't like, I don't like Asians.

They make me feel weird

and when I'm around them, I feel...

..strange, like...

Like something really bad's gonna happen.

And when I get, like, physically close,

it's like there's something inside me

screaming for me to stop.

Oh, my God, I'm, I'm really fucked up, aren't I?

No. No.

I don't know exactly what you're going through

but I never even wanted to be around other trans people,

let alone fuck them.

Really?

It made me feel less normal and I wanted to be normal.

And now I feel more comfortable around trans people

than literally anybody else.

I, I didn't... Yeah, I didn't know that.

So, have you...?

Have you had sex with a trans person?

No.

Of course!

The first time... Oh, yes.

..my friend dragged me to Mardi Gras.

This was in my

"I want to be cis-het so bad

"I'm not even gonna wear colour" phase.

At first, I felt like everyone was staring at me.

Everywhere I looked, people were smiling at me

as if they knew me.

Then these glorious humans were just like, like,

grinding in my direction.

I just finally let myself go.

(NEXT LEVEL BY AESPA)

Hi! Ah, ah, no.

You can't just come here, then do whatever you want.

I'm ready...

..for real this time.

No. No, nuh-uh. Take this back.

I'm not just some guinea pig or toy

that you can just jump on and off whenever you feel like it.

I don't think you're a toy,

but there's nothing wrong with toys or dolls.

And just know that if you were a toy,

that I would treat you with the utmost respect.

Jane. I'm not interested in being with someone

that freaks out when I touch them, alright?

Oh, my God.

See?

I'm not freaking out.

This is not what I meant. Yu Chang...

I like you. A lot.

Please just give me one more chance.

(SIGHS)

You'd better not make me regret this.

Come on.

It was like a religious experience.

I feel like I just got laid by Asian Jesus.

You OK?

Adopting you was the hardest thing

I have ever done.

"I think of you, Su Jin, every day.

"I wanted to keep you."

ALL: Happy Gotcha Day, Janey! Woohoo!

I popped my Asian cherry!