Original subtitles

When the willows say the self-ertune Follow my voice wherever it leads

From mountains, through valleys, to deep oil and seas

The blood and the wings of the green can always

In the countryside around the riverbank There was a restlessly soror

From the first peep of sun Excited, challenging birdsong echoed from every spina and bedroom

Where the green and pink and red of fresh new growth spiked untiedily from the old

The river Chattering South seemed clear to all at once, and on its bank Rat scrubbed and polished

His over-wanted boat to the sharp sound of busy ducks and moorheads

And all this newfound waking energy of the growing year had even seeped into toad hall

Where its owner, more used to comfort and cream cakes, was actually working on his latest

Yet at least for the moment, who round his acquisition

Will this just show the baby?

Show who? Um, whom toad?

Hey, well, you know, anybody? There, hahaha! Easy, busy. What next, Bill?

Um, finally, simply connect the positive water terminal post A and the negative water terminal post B

Oh, no, yeah, hmm, it's simple enough, isn't it?

Mmm, spoochie, er, terminal post A, yes, yes, and B, yes, got it off

Um, oh, funny, doesn't she give you any wires?

No wires, toad? Oh, dear.

It's all right, Mode, it's all right, don't pass. I just wish you hadn't bought it from the weasels, that's all.

Well, er, well, really, Mode, look with my knowledge of electricity and physics and molecules and everything.

I thought molecules was chemistry-tech.

Well, yes, there you are then.

Um, yeah, yes, toad? No, quite obviously, the reason why there are no wires is that this is the, of course, the very latest equipment, huh?

I don't suppose you've heard of wireless telephony.

Well, yes, I have.

But the instruction books has connect the wire?

Well, then, they've just given me the wrong instruction book.

Hm, don't really need wire, eh?

Er, it's all right, I'll just connect the condenser cell to the, er, the coposol part here.

The what?

And the, er, ah, and it's finished.

Oh, yeah, perfect.

Oh, well, if you say so.

But now you pop off into Moline and you shall be the first of the river bankers to have me.

Toad.

Talking to you on the electric telephone.

Toad.

Oh, come on, back me no buts.

Toad, it won't work.

Won't work?

Won't work?

Of course it will work.

Look at that.

I haven't got a telephone.

Oh, Mel, look, Debbie, so...

Er...

Er...

No, well, of course.

I know that, Bob.

How many instruments did the weasel sell you?

Well, er, er, they, they were waiting for the others to come in.

Oh, Toad.

You'll go back home and I'll just drive across and see if they've got the day.

Oh, Toad, do be careful.

No need to worry about me.

Oh, I should think not, no, no.

When I've made them give me, er, when they...

If they've got the minute, I'll bring it round and fix it. All right?

I'm very well Toad.

I'll get home then.

Er, if you should meet Badger, I, er, wouldn't bother to mention.

You always...

He doesn't understand science and progress and...

You know that?

All right, Toad, as you wish.

But don't let the weasels cheat you.

Shit, you, Mr Toad.

Shit, you.

Well, no, of course not. I said some.

People, you know, they're less trusting than I might.

Have you been just the tightiest, Mr. Spicious?

Erm, erm, perhaps, eh?

That's not very nice, that Mr Toad. Not very nice.

That's just what I said to them.

And you surely never fought at a measly amount you ended over was for more than one of those superior devices, Mr Toad.

Er, erm, good heavens, no.

Oh, you guess what you pays for, Mr Toad?

Oh, yeah, absolutely so.

How many more of the hex-Celsius electric telephone units may I have?

The honour of supply and to you, Mr Toad?

Erm, well, er...

Because you are so many friends, doesn't you, hey, Mr Toad?

Ever such a popular gen, eh?

Erm, erm, erm, yes.

You're well.

Well, let's say another free.

Shall we?

Three?

Yeah, I don't know.

Free.

One for Mr Mole, one for Mr Ray, and one for our mutual friend, Mr Better.

Yeah, Chief, you've always said that that budget was a poll.

Oh, dear. Got that suit in pain in your foot again, have you?

Oh, yes, eh, Chief.

Sorry, Chief.

Erm, free then, Mr Toad.

Well, erm...

Well, yes, I suppose I might as well.

You asked two guineas a...

Two guineas?

Yeah, you heard a right, Mr Toad.

But he was only 37 and 9pence last time?

Ah, it's the demand, you see.

Very popular, they are.

Very popular, Mr Toad.

Very popular.

Oh, erm, very well.

Erm, will you be so kind as to procure free of those

estimable devices from the warehouse?

Where, House Chief, we haven't got that...

Oh!

You really ought to get that scene, too, you know.

Yeah, Scarpa, and get him you half-way.

Right, Chief. Sorry, Chief.

Er, now, if you'll excuse me, Mr Toad, I shall return to my...

my studies.

Oh, really?

Yes, my colleague will see to your needs.

Er, yes, erm, erm, erm, erm, thank you.

Always a pleasure, erm, studdies.

Right, now, you know what's running there free for it,

just in Santam Park.

Oh, boughlin'ation.

Who's that?

Yes, yes, come in.

Erm...

Oh, hello, Toad, come in.

Huh!

So you are at home?

Yes, of course I'm at home.

Well, look, don't stand there hopping up and down.

Come in.

I was just doing a bit of baking.

Well, if you're in, why don't you join me, Auntie?

Hey, I did answer. I just let you in.

Not answer the door. Answer the telephone.

Oh, Toad, not the wretched telephone again.

Wretched telephone. Oh, after all the trouble I went to

to install it.

Yes, well, it's all right now.

I've repainted the wall.

No, no.

Well, a bit of plaster's not much to favour,

having the very latest thing in your home.

I liked my home as it was.

Anyway, it didn't ring.

You mean it didn't ring?

I didn't answer it because it didn't ring.

Well, I was winding like mad at mine.

Toad.

It did not ring.

Oh, blue.

Oh, bottom blue.

Perhaps the wires are down. Where have you run them?

Why?

The wires, the connection wires. Where have you run them?

My dear chap, there aren't any wires.

This is an entirely wireless system, shall we?

Let's see.

Latest poppycock.

Telephones have to have wires, even I know that.

Stick in the mud that I am.

Erm...

Are you...

Sure.

Toad, you're not seriously telling me there aren't any wires.

What?

I should try to offique not.

No wires.

No, it was just my little joke.

Erm...

Are you very long?

No wires. No wires.

Oh, very nice, Mr Toad. Very nice.

The chief will be pleased to hear you've been calling him names.

No, well, I actually didn't mean that he was...

The reason why you didn't get no wires, Mr Toad is...

You never asked for no wires.

Did you, Mr Toad?

No.

No.

You should have all the wire you want from the same highly reputable source.

Oh, yes, sir.

Which, of course, I cannot reveal.

I shall inform the chief of your requirements.

Yes.

Oh, yes, all right. Thank you.

So, let's say two and a half miles of number three go to purchase covered copper wire at five shillings per 110 yards.

That's just...

What a nice round number.

Ten pounds?

Lost delivery charges, of course.

Of course.

Don't bother. I'll take you with me.

As you will, Mr Toad.

As you will.

Oh, my back.

I don't care if I never see another piece of wire.

You're so right, Ratty.

Half of the riverbank looks like a spider's wind.

Hello, hello, you chaps.

Ah, there he is.

Oh, cool. I thought you might have finished by now.

Where have you been?

Bean?

You?

We were supposed to be doing this. We were supposed to be helping.

Yes, well, I...

I have been checking on the quality of the installation.

You professional eye, you know?

The fat head.

There you are, I say.

Ratty's quite right, Toad.

You always leave the work to everyone else.

Well, I like that.

It was over my generosity and my scientific genius.

You wouldn't have a telephone at all.

Either of you.

Then where would you be?

Better off.

Oh, oh, better.

Hello, badger.

What is all this nonsense about the electric telephone?

Um...

Well, the riverbank seems to be chattering about it.

Oh, really?

It's true, badger.

Toads connecting us all up with toad whore.

We're connecting us all up with toad whore.

Yes.

You mean these absurd wires hanging about are you ever toad?

They are not absurd wires, badger.

They are best quality, gut-a-percher-covered copper conductors.

Ah...

Oh...

Look like washing lines to me.

Oh, washing lines.

You won't say that when I've wired you into the system.

What's that?

Yes, there's an Excelsior telephone unit waiting for you, too.

Then it'll wait, toad.

A very long time.

Right?

Because I won't be having one.

You wouldn't.

But they're the very latest thing.

Oh, and so was your electric doorbell.

Ah, well, yeah, well, that's...

And the camera.

Yeah, well...

And the air suction cleans in machine.

Yeah, but...

And the electric lift.

Oh, well, if you're going to be like that, just forget about the whole thing.

Forget it, forget it.

I have forgotten it.

But badger, don't you realize that if you had an electric telephone,

I could ring you up for a shot at any old time.

That is why I have forgotten it.

Oh, oh, that's very nice.

It might be useful, Badger.

Mm-hmm.

What's that all?

No.

Don't tell me you've caught this nonsense, too.

I'm just thinking, Badger, that an electric telephone might be useful if, um...

Well, if you were ill.

Kindly thought, Mo.

But if I were to be ill, do you imagine that a telephone conversation with Toad would make me better?

Oh, no.

I see what you mean.

Well, if that's the way you feel, I shall give your telephone to Otter.

I hope it's waterproof, then.

Quite a damn place, Otters.

I say, though, Badger, you will have a spot of afternoon tea with us, won't you?

Yeah.

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.

My dear friend, Mole, is priest.

I still am.

I stroll this way.

Oh, good, good.

And, uh, let's go in.

Yeah, sure.

I'm afraid I have no time for self-indulgence.

Oh, too.

No.

I have my scientific tasks to do.

Oh, do have up.

No, no.

Thank you, Mo.

I shall return to Toad Hall and complete the wiring connection.

Oh, very well.

When I have done so, I will ring the bell here.

How do you do that, Toad?

Well, I simply, um, Twitter the switch thing.

Oh, something.

And wind the, uh, the other, a bit.

I see.

Very scientific.

Yes, well.

Anyway, when you hear the bell, Mole, you switch the, uh, switch.

And we will be able to converse, just as if I were here.

You stayed for tea, you would be here.

Yes.

Look, Mole, that isn't the point.

Bye, Dime-off.

Goodbye, Toad.

Goodbye, Toad.

Hi.

Or if, why?

Mind the wires, Toad.

What?

I said, mind the-

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Yes, yes, he put strong wires in those, yes.

Dear me, never at a loss, is he?

Just a pity, all that ingenuity is wasted on such vain, fiddle fiddle.

Oh, Toad.

Come on, tea.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Stupid screwdriver!

Stupid telephone!

Oh, stupid, stupid, stupid, wait off!

Oh!

Now, where does this wire go?

It isn't anywhere.

It isn't anywhere at Cango.

No, wait a minute.

Of course.

It must be a spare.

I mean, I have a spare wheel on the motor car.

Yes, it's course.

Well, then I'll just, I'll show it on there with the other one.

It's like, I...

Oh, what?

Oh!

Oh!

That's it, finished.

Nothing to it, really.

I wonder how much longer it'll be before Toad rings.

I wouldn't wait for it, Moly.

He's probably taken up polo by now.

Yes.

Foolish, butterfly-minded creature.

He'll have forgotten all about it.

And after what he did to my wall.

Oh!

Now, depress the small switch to Bell.

How? Lift the handset.

Right.

Now wind the generator crank vigorously.

Good, windy.

Flat.

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Now for it.

Now for the scientific wonder of the age.

Now for the new era of communication.

Come on.

Mel? Mel? Mel?

Mel, come on!

Is that a ring?

I heard nothing. I'm a little deaf.

It's been giving little teens for a while.

Woodward, I shouldn't wonder.

Maybe I ought to wind the handle just in case.

I wouldn't, Mel.

Might be the wrong thing and you'd never hear the end of it.

Quite right, ready, quite right.

Come on, Mel. Come on.

Where's your ring?

I'm sure that was a ring.

Well, if you say so, Mel.

Though if that's the electric telephone, well...

I told you, Mel. I told you.

I'm going to ring.

Stupid, stupid creature. Hello.

Hello. Hello.

Come on, Mel.

Yeah.

Anything, Mel? Nothing. Nothing.

As I thought, Chuck, another flesh in the pan.

He rang. He rang. He rang.

Scary, you're dreaming, so the run'd go.

From sunshine and the shadows,

on days long ago, where people are members

and stars unfold.

We love the tales you have told me.

When the walls you just seem to know,

though you can turn to in which way to go.

To a one, to a one, to a one, to a one,

when the door goes to the door.