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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,250 Okay, 2 00:01:25,417 --> 00:01:27,125 let's get this straight 3 00:01:27,250 --> 00:01:32,125 I don't want to hear another word of this Y2K nonsense 4 00:01:32,250 --> 00:01:35,083 Phones going dead, electricity cut—off, 5 00:01:35,208 --> 00:01:39,375 banks collapsing, or even planes falling out of the sky 6 00:01:40,083 --> 00:01:42,332 The end of the world is not coming! 7 00:01:46,332 --> 00:01:49,291 The numbers in our calendar will change, yes, 8 00:01:49,416 --> 00:01:51,248 all four at once, 9 00:01:51,415 --> 00:01:53,123 but they're only numbers! 10 00:01:53,248 --> 00:01:55,748 Mankind has been through this before 11 00:01:59,205 --> 00:02:00,747 At eight o'clock, 12 00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:05,080 a lot of very important people will dine at our tables 13 00:02:05,580 --> 00:02:07,747 The mood in which they leave in the morning 14 00:02:08,080 --> 00:02:10,747 will impact the lives of millions of ordinary people 15 00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:14,164 Our duty is to make sure that no one's ass gets sore 16 00:02:14,289 --> 00:02:16,580 from sitting on too hard a chair, 17 00:02:16,747 --> 00:02:20,164 that they all stuff themselves with caviar to their heart's content, 18 00:02:21,080 --> 00:02:25,247 that bubbles of champagne will gush from their noses and ears 19 00:02:25,414 --> 00:02:27,330 Is that clear? 20 00:02:29,705 --> 00:02:32,580 — Trying to make a point, Tonino? — No 21 00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:37,247 I mean, yes 22 00:02:37,372 --> 00:02:39,580 Couldn't agree more, boss 23 00:02:41,372 --> 00:02:45,580 I expect nothing more from you all than our usual... 24 00:02:45,705 --> 00:02:50,080 politeness, precision, and perfection 25 00:02:51,204 --> 00:02:55,663 Five, four, three, two, one... 26 00:02:59,621 --> 00:03:01,413 Twelve hours left 27 00:03:01,538 --> 00:03:04,704 Let's get to work everybody! Let's get to work! 28 00:03:29,996 --> 00:03:31,328 Too salty 29 00:03:31,453 --> 00:03:32,703 Pour it out! 30 00:03:33,078 --> 00:03:34,370 Pour it out! 31 00:05:17,162 --> 00:05:20,037 Slowly, slowly, be careful, be careful 32 00:05:20,162 --> 00:05:22,453 Push it back... 33 00:05:23,703 --> 00:05:27,245 Push it back more, this side 34 00:05:27,412 --> 00:05:30,412 Push this side back more, it's stuck 35 00:05:33,328 --> 00:05:34,412 Stop, stop, stop 36 00:05:34,578 --> 00:05:36,662 Step away, step away 37 00:05:52,412 --> 00:05:53,744 Wow. What a night 38 00:05:54,077 --> 00:05:56,077 What a night! 39 00:05:56,244 --> 00:05:58,119 May I help you, sir? 40 00:05:58,244 --> 00:06:01,411 — My room key — What would be the room number? 41 00:06:02,535 --> 00:06:05,368 I don't remember, look it up on your thing 42 00:06:05,493 --> 00:06:07,701 Faraday, Simon Faraday 43 00:06:15,410 --> 00:06:18,451 I‘m sorry, sir, according to my files you‘re not staying with us 44 00:06:20,493 --> 00:06:25,410 Would you tell your files we‘ve been staying at the Grand Bellevue 45 00:06:25,576 --> 00:06:29,035 at Christmas Eve, New Year's Eve, for 15 years! 46 00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:31,993 My compliments, then you should probably go there 47 00:06:33,576 --> 00:06:36,076 — Where? — The Grand Bellevue 48 00:06:36,243 --> 00:06:38,326 A short walk down the road 49 00:06:38,451 --> 00:06:40,367 Hasn‘t moved an inch since 1912 50 00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:50,991 Sir! 51 00:07:10,574 --> 00:07:11,616 Tonino! 52 00:07:14,241 --> 00:07:17,991 — Yes, sir? — Can't they see it's not centered? 53 00:07:27,408 --> 00:07:31,073 — I'll take care of it immediately, sir — It's not a chair you can move around 54 00:07:31,240 --> 00:07:32,656 — It's heavy — Sorry 55 00:07:32,989 --> 00:07:34,697 — Good morning, Mr. Minetti — Good morning 56 00:07:35,031 --> 00:07:36,281 — Slept well? — Like a baby 57 00:07:36,406 --> 00:07:38,989 Our boys will be happy to carry those to the ski room 58 00:07:39,114 --> 00:07:42,281 Oh, no! My Scott—Pros? No, thanks 59 00:07:42,406 --> 00:07:44,614 I‘ve had these babies stolen from me once 60 00:07:44,739 --> 00:07:47,531 Not here, Mr. Minetti, we can take care of your babies 61 00:07:47,656 --> 00:07:50,656 Do you know how long it takes to import them from Idaho? 62 00:07:50,989 --> 00:07:52,739 I‘d rather keep them under my bed 63 00:07:55,406 --> 00:07:56,738 Did you see him? 64 00:07:57,488 --> 00:07:59,238 — Bongo! — Bongo? 65 00:07:59,405 --> 00:08:01,113 Bongo! He's a big star 66 00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:05,113 — Really? What was he in? — He's done hundreds of movies 67 00:08:05,530 --> 00:08:08,155 "Sex Odyssey", "Sperminator", 68 00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:11,321 "Pulp Friction"... The list is just endless 69 00:08:14,530 --> 00:08:17,405 Such a beast without a muzzle! 70 00:08:17,571 --> 00:08:19,071 I‘m sorry, sir 71 00:08:20,030 --> 00:08:21,613 C'mon, little boy 72 00:08:21,738 --> 00:08:23,196 Get up here now 73 00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:28,737 C'mon, Mr. Toby, shit! 74 00:08:30,069 --> 00:08:32,318 We don't have all day 75 00:08:36,652 --> 00:08:38,735 Is Bongo your real name? 76 00:08:40,735 --> 00:08:42,067 An artistic pseudonym 77 00:08:42,401 --> 00:08:43,609 I knew it 78 00:08:44,026 --> 00:08:47,067 — My mother told me all about you — Ashley, God! 79 00:08:47,234 --> 00:08:49,066 Good thing it wasn't your grandma 80 00:08:51,525 --> 00:08:52,733 Do you still work? 81 00:08:53,358 --> 00:08:55,025 In private 82 00:08:55,191 --> 00:08:57,733 — No more movies? — Ashley, come 83 00:08:58,108 --> 00:08:59,983 I‘m retired now 84 00:09:04,358 --> 00:09:06,150 Hi, darling! 85 00:09:06,316 --> 00:09:07,608 How are you? 86 00:09:07,983 --> 00:09:10,232 My God, time stays still for you 87 00:09:10,399 --> 00:09:13,064 And you, getting younger every year 88 00:09:28,189 --> 00:09:29,273 Come on 89 00:09:33,689 --> 00:09:36,231 Seriozh, take everything to the suite 90 00:09:38,606 --> 00:09:42,398 — Let's go — Holy shit! Holy shit! 91 00:09:49,273 --> 00:09:51,981 What the hell is going on? 92 00:09:53,023 --> 00:09:54,147 All right 93 00:10:00,105 --> 00:10:02,230 — I asked for champagne — Hi 94 00:10:02,605 --> 00:10:06,397 How about a safe? Do you have a safe safe here? 95 00:10:06,605 --> 00:10:09,272 Absolutely, this way, follow me 96 00:10:10,730 --> 00:10:11,688 Please 97 00:10:15,980 --> 00:10:19,229 You want to fit a suitcase in one of these? 98 00:10:19,396 --> 00:10:22,729 You can put the content into several safes or... 99 00:10:23,062 --> 00:10:25,062 All of them? 100 00:10:25,229 --> 00:10:26,521 I‘ll get the manager 101 00:10:26,687 --> 00:10:30,312 What the hell do you mean you can't find my reservation? Are you a retard? 102 00:10:30,479 --> 00:10:32,521 It's that... 103 00:10:32,687 --> 00:10:34,562 Mr. Crush! 104 00:10:34,687 --> 00:10:38,728 So nice to see you back with us, what seems to be the problem? 105 00:10:39,103 --> 00:10:42,061 This imbecile is trying to convince me I don't have a reservation 106 00:10:42,228 --> 00:10:44,645 I am so sorry, there must be some sort of error 107 00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:48,395 — Maybe you forgot to reserve? — I don't make my own travel plans 108 00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:52,061 I have two competent assistants and they made them twice 109 00:10:52,436 --> 00:10:54,603 Once would be enough, if it got through to us 110 00:10:54,978 --> 00:10:57,270 You‘re telling me the people that work for me are lying? 111 00:10:57,395 --> 00:11:01,145 Certainly not, Mr. Crush, let me assure you, no need to worry 112 00:11:01,311 --> 00:11:04,478 — We'll do our best to find a solution — Find a solution? 113 00:11:05,103 --> 00:11:07,186 Sorry, but the Russians need a bigger safe 114 00:11:07,311 --> 00:11:10,228 — If you'll excuse me... — No, you're not going anywhere 115 00:11:10,353 --> 00:11:13,394 Get me into my suite first, then you do what you gotta do 116 00:11:13,560 --> 00:11:17,185 My colleague is already working on it and I‘ll be back right away 117 00:11:17,352 --> 00:11:19,477 This is un—fucking—believable! 118 00:11:19,602 --> 00:11:22,727 This whole place is turning to shit 119 00:11:23,060 --> 00:11:24,560 — Do you like chocolate? — What? 120 00:11:24,685 --> 00:11:26,101 — Chocolate — Chocolate? 121 00:11:26,268 --> 00:11:29,601 Good morning, my name is Hansueli Kopf, I‘m the hotel manager 122 00:11:29,726 --> 00:11:30,726 I hear you need some help 123 00:11:31,101 --> 00:11:35,142 We have fragile luggage that we would like to place in a safe 124 00:11:36,183 --> 00:11:37,225 Yes 125 00:11:38,641 --> 00:11:41,306 During World War II, the Swiss central bank 126 00:11:41,431 --> 00:11:43,640 stored its reserves here 127 00:12:01,056 --> 00:12:03,223 Perfectly secure as you can see 128 00:12:04,598 --> 00:12:06,140 ...See? 129 00:12:20,223 --> 00:12:22,390 We‘ll change the bulb right away 130 00:12:22,515 --> 00:12:26,265 — Nobody has been down here in a while — Don't bother, Mr. Kompf 131 00:12:26,390 --> 00:12:29,598 — Just give me the key — That's absolutely out of the question 132 00:12:29,723 --> 00:12:32,180 — Why? — Because... 133 00:12:32,514 --> 00:12:35,389 — It's the hotel policy — Change the policy 134 00:12:45,514 --> 00:12:48,555 All I want to do is drink! 135 00:12:53,555 --> 00:12:55,263 214 136 00:12:56,263 --> 00:12:57,513 Girls... 137 00:12:57,638 --> 00:13:00,221 — 210 and 209 — Connected? 138 00:13:00,388 --> 00:13:01,346 As you requested 139 00:13:13,388 --> 00:13:15,388 The bodyguards‘ room is just opposite 140 00:13:15,513 --> 00:13:19,346 We put in two rollaways, I hope it won‘t be too cramped 141 00:13:19,471 --> 00:13:22,096 — Sorry for the inconvenience — Don't worry 142 00:13:22,221 --> 00:13:25,304 Why are you making faces? You can cuddle at night 143 00:13:30,054 --> 00:13:31,513 Thank you, sir 144 00:13:32,513 --> 00:13:36,471 Mr. Tell, just trust me, okay? I know this stuff inside out 145 00:13:37,971 --> 00:13:41,096 Y2K hits, no one‘s gonna have a clue 146 00:13:41,221 --> 00:13:43,971 Not for a long time, not for a very long time 147 00:13:45,263 --> 00:13:47,596 No, I don't think that‘s a very good idea 148 00:13:47,721 --> 00:13:52,013 Why won‘t we do this? Why don‘t we meet in my suite and... 149 00:13:52,138 --> 00:13:53,513 I‘ll walk you through the details 150 00:13:53,679 --> 00:13:56,138 — Twelve—thirty? — Sir, your room is ready 151 00:13:56,304 --> 00:13:57,221 — What's the number please? — 707 152 00:13:57,346 --> 00:13:58,388 Great 153 00:13:59,388 --> 00:14:02,388 Okay, twelve—thirty sharp 154 00:14:02,554 --> 00:14:04,596 All right, Mr. Tell, I'll see you then 155 00:14:04,721 --> 00:14:07,096 Suite 707 156 00:14:09,971 --> 00:14:11,513 Here's your room, sir 157 00:14:25,471 --> 00:14:30,054 — Get that asshole manager up here! — Yes, sir, right away, sir 158 00:14:41,513 --> 00:14:43,429 Leave that, leave that right there 159 00:14:50,138 --> 00:14:51,429 Get out 160 00:14:54,304 --> 00:14:56,220 Whoever draws the short stick 161 00:14:56,345 --> 00:14:58,220 sleeps on a cot 162 00:15:06,262 --> 00:15:08,387 Damn, I can't even fit on that 163 00:15:09,387 --> 00:15:10,678 Pick one 164 00:15:35,053 --> 00:15:36,595 Dear Russians, 165 00:15:37,553 --> 00:15:39,220 to da y, 166 00:15:39,345 --> 00:15:41,553 on the last day 167 00:15:41,678 --> 00:15:44,053 of the outgoing century, 168 00:15:44,178 --> 00:15:47,720 I am retiring 169 00:15:48,553 --> 00:15:50,720 I have made a decision 170 00:15:51,053 --> 00:15:54,387 Today, I am addressing you 171 00:15:54,553 --> 00:15:58,512 for the last time as Russian president 172 00:16:07,387 --> 00:16:09,137 Is your TV working? 173 00:16:09,678 --> 00:16:11,178 What the heck? 174 00:16:11,303 --> 00:16:12,553 May I turn it on? 175 00:16:12,678 --> 00:16:14,220 Help yourself 176 00:16:16,052 --> 00:16:18,552 Can't get porn in your room? 177 00:16:22,094 --> 00:16:26,094 In accordance with the constitution, 178 00:16:26,261 --> 00:16:27,636 as I ’m retiring, 179 00:16:28,011 --> 00:16:31,011 I have signed a decree 180 00:16:31,677 --> 00:16:35,386 entrusting the duties of the president of Russia 181 00:16:35,511 --> 00:16:37,551 to Prime Minister 182 00:16:38,135 --> 00:16:41,551 Vladimir V/adimirovic Putin 183 00:16:42,343 --> 00:16:45,093 For the next three months 184 00:16:45,676 --> 00:16:48,968 he will be the head of state 185 00:17:00,051 --> 00:17:04,510 Are you out of your mind? Can you see me sleeping in this fucking broom closet? 186 00:17:04,676 --> 00:17:08,717 Or can you see me trying to take a piss in this dollhouse toilet of yours? 187 00:17:09,384 --> 00:17:13,049 I know Mr. Crush, this is the worst room in the hotel, I absolutely agree 188 00:17:13,174 --> 00:17:15,466 But we don't have anything else 189 00:17:15,591 --> 00:17:19,966 I‘m here to offer you a complimentary bottle of champagne with our apologies 190 00:17:20,133 --> 00:17:22,382 Know what you can do with that champagne? 191 00:17:22,548 --> 00:17:24,382 Would you like some chocolates? 192 00:17:24,715 --> 00:17:26,257 Listen... 193 00:17:26,382 --> 00:17:29,715 I want you to listen, I want you to listen carefully 194 00:17:30,090 --> 00:17:33,131 I make one phone call, one phone call, 195 00:17:33,297 --> 00:17:36,546 before you change your shirt, and I‘m gonna own your fucking hotel 196 00:17:38,170 --> 00:17:39,462 Anything else? 197 00:17:39,629 --> 00:17:42,545 Wait, woah, woah, I like that 198 00:17:42,712 --> 00:17:45,212 I like that a lot... You know what? I'll take it 199 00:17:45,379 --> 00:17:48,337 No, Mr. Crush, this suite is taken 200 00:17:48,462 --> 00:17:51,045 The guest is downstairs, signing autographs 201 00:18:16,462 --> 00:18:17,962 Get the fuck out of my room 202 00:18:42,254 --> 00:18:44,462 Has everybody in this hotel gone insane? 203 00:18:46,545 --> 00:18:49,629 Othmar! Are we serving penguin now? 204 00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:52,129 — Penguin? — Yes 205 00:18:59,504 --> 00:19:02,337 Maybe with a little garlic and tarragon 206 00:19:02,462 --> 00:19:05,545 we could sell it as shark fin 207 00:19:07,169 --> 00:19:10,044 No, Mr. Kopf, this came for... 208 00:19:10,294 --> 00:19:13,419 Arthur Duncan Dallas "III" 209 00:19:14,961 --> 00:19:16,585 Is not "III", it's "the Third" 210 00:19:18,293 --> 00:19:20,377 Arthur Duncan Dallas the Third 211 00:19:21,085 --> 00:19:23,210 To be delivered to his suite 212 00:19:23,460 --> 00:19:25,292 — To his suite? — Yes 213 00:19:29,709 --> 00:19:31,084 Tonino? 214 00:19:31,209 --> 00:19:32,333 Yes, boss? 215 00:19:32,458 --> 00:19:36,458 Do you know anything about a penguin for Dallas Duncan the Third? 216 00:19:37,291 --> 00:19:39,125 A stuffed penguin? 217 00:19:39,250 --> 00:19:41,458 No, live penguin! 218 00:19:43,290 --> 00:19:46,707 You wait here and you watch this thing 219 00:19:49,415 --> 00:19:52,040 Now we‘re babysitting a penguin 220 00:19:52,165 --> 00:19:54,374 These wealthy people... 221 00:19:56,082 --> 00:19:58,374 They‘ll lose everything at midnight 222 00:19:59,290 --> 00:20:03,624 Morning Arthur, here's your masterpiece, all typed up and looking good 223 00:20:04,665 --> 00:20:07,207 This must be a complete surprise 224 00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:11,540 All we need now is people to join in the chorus 225 00:20:12,332 --> 00:20:13,624 Come on in 226 00:20:13,957 --> 00:20:16,374 Hansueli! Perfect timing 227 00:20:16,540 --> 00:20:19,415 — Come on in, come on in — Good morning, Mr. Dallas... 228 00:20:19,540 --> 00:20:21,707 — I'm so sorry to... — I know things are insane today... 229 00:20:22,707 --> 00:20:27,332 I‘m afraid I‘ll need to borrow some of your most talented personnel 230 00:20:27,499 --> 00:20:29,707 — I won't keep them long — Well, yes, but... 231 00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:32,374 — I'm here to talk about the penguin — He's here? 232 00:20:32,957 --> 00:20:35,624 Oh, great! He's key to this whole wedding anniversary 233 00:20:36,249 --> 00:20:40,082 You know, Mr. Dallas, we don't have much experience with wild animals 234 00:20:41,249 --> 00:20:43,457 He's the gentlest creature in heaven! 235 00:20:43,582 --> 00:20:46,332 He's the mascot of my marriage 236 00:20:46,499 --> 00:20:50,040 You see, one year ago today my wife and I 237 00:20:50,165 --> 00:20:52,414 were married at San Pietro di... 238 00:20:52,581 --> 00:20:53,705 — Positano — Positano 239 00:20:54,955 --> 00:20:57,372 A hotel as charming as your own 240 00:20:57,538 --> 00:20:59,538 They had a penguin 241 00:21:00,205 --> 00:21:03,038 It was most extraordinary thing 242 00:21:03,205 --> 00:21:08,497 And my wife would feed him out of her hand, every day at the table 243 00:21:08,622 --> 00:21:12,705 It became a symbol of our happiness 244 00:21:13,038 --> 00:21:16,497 — I'm beginning to understand — Well, I've written some words 245 00:21:16,622 --> 00:21:19,330 to the tune of "Happy Birthday" 246 00:21:19,497 --> 00:21:22,330 Can you get us some decent voices to sing this with us? 247 00:21:22,455 --> 00:21:24,497 — To the penguin? — To my wife 248 00:21:24,622 --> 00:21:26,038 Of course 249 00:21:26,205 --> 00:21:27,537 With pleasure 250 00:21:27,704 --> 00:21:31,662 — I'll take care of it immediately — Good, good, good 251 00:21:35,703 --> 00:21:38,203 An amazing paillette dress 252 00:21:39,453 --> 00:21:40,577 It's him! It‘s him! 253 00:21:42,327 --> 00:21:43,160 He's here! 254 00:21:43,660 --> 00:21:46,202 Good morning, Dr. Lima, caipirinha? 255 00:21:46,369 --> 00:21:48,952 Hello, Luigi, you know I‘m hooked on your caipirinhas 256 00:21:49,119 --> 00:21:52,244 — It'll make the end of the world better — The end of the world? 257 00:21:52,410 --> 00:21:55,702 — Y2K! Doomsday! — You can‘t believe in this nonsense! 258 00:21:56,035 --> 00:21:58,994 Of course I do, I‘m ready for anything 259 00:21:59,119 --> 00:22:01,494 I took all my savings out of the bank 260 00:22:01,619 --> 00:22:04,035 You don't understand, he's so important 261 00:22:04,202 --> 00:22:05,618 Dr. Lima! 262 00:22:05,951 --> 00:22:09,243 I don't want to disturb you, but I'm so happy to see you 263 00:22:10,034 --> 00:22:11,576 You remember me? 264 00:22:11,701 --> 00:22:14,451 Gloria, Gloria Robinson 265 00:22:14,576 --> 00:22:16,701 You did me a few years back 266 00:22:17,034 --> 00:22:19,159 Yes, yes, of course 267 00:22:19,284 --> 00:22:20,659 My lips 268 00:22:20,993 --> 00:22:22,659 Your mouth, of course 269 00:22:23,326 --> 00:22:25,701 And your nose, too, right? 270 00:22:27,159 --> 00:22:28,534 Just a touch 271 00:22:28,659 --> 00:22:30,534 "The Lima touch", they call it 272 00:22:30,659 --> 00:22:34,409 May I introduce my dear friend, Alice? 273 00:22:35,951 --> 00:22:38,368 I‘m so happy to meet you, Dr. Lima 274 00:22:38,493 --> 00:22:41,451 I‘ve been waiting so long for this opportunity 275 00:22:41,576 --> 00:22:44,076 What a golden opportunity! 276 00:22:44,201 --> 00:22:47,534 — It's a pleasure — Could you give Alice an appointment? 277 00:22:48,618 --> 00:22:50,450 Well, I'm actually on vacation 278 00:22:50,617 --> 00:22:54,700 — Please! — Alice has a problem with her breasts 279 00:22:55,033 --> 00:22:58,282 She had a procedure a little while ago, 280 00:22:58,407 --> 00:23:00,491 and they botched it 281 00:23:00,616 --> 00:23:01,407 Yeah 282 00:23:05,491 --> 00:23:07,491 What's the problem? 283 00:23:07,616 --> 00:23:09,491 Symmetry 284 00:23:18,699 --> 00:23:21,532 Are we even allowed to do this under union rules? 285 00:23:21,657 --> 00:23:25,032 Mr. Dallas is very rich, maybe we'll get a big tip 286 00:23:25,157 --> 00:23:28,157 You know why the rich are rich? Because they don't tip 287 00:23:45,532 --> 00:23:46,656 Puff! 288 00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:51,489 Puff, where are you? Puffball, your princess is awake 289 00:23:52,030 --> 00:23:55,197 To Magnolia from me 290 00:23:55,364 --> 00:23:58,280 Yes, it’s from Dallas Three 291 00:23:59,155 --> 00:24:03,155 For our endless happiness 292 00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:07,030 blooms a Magnolia tree 293 00:24:07,155 --> 00:24:11,072 Happy bride and bridegroom 294 00:24:11,239 --> 00:24:14,155 Here in our humble room 295 00:24:14,322 --> 00:24:17,697 My most precious entity 296 00:24:18,697 --> 00:24:21,989 is my Magnolia bloom 297 00:24:22,447 --> 00:24:23,530 Yeah! 298 00:24:24,155 --> 00:24:25,530 My darling! 299 00:24:26,447 --> 00:24:29,197 Next year will be even better 300 00:24:34,030 --> 00:24:35,530 Oh, my God! 301 00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:44,322 Is he really for me? 302 00:24:44,489 --> 00:24:47,405 — He's all yours — What a cutie! 303 00:24:50,030 --> 00:24:51,364 Come here, baby 304 00:24:52,655 --> 00:24:54,155 Come on 305 00:24:55,614 --> 00:24:59,155 — Why won't he come out? — Pussy, pussy, pussy... 306 00:24:59,322 --> 00:25:00,489 Pussy, pussy? 307 00:25:03,030 --> 00:25:06,071 Does anyone know how to wrangle a penguin? 308 00:25:06,238 --> 00:25:08,446 I wouldn't touch that fucker with a beanpole 309 00:25:08,613 --> 00:25:11,571 — Maybe lure him with food? — He likes fish 310 00:25:13,529 --> 00:25:16,029 That one looks tasty 311 00:25:16,196 --> 00:25:18,529 Don't touch the fish! Please, don't touch the fish! 312 00:25:19,279 --> 00:25:23,071 — Call the room service — Order him some salmon 313 00:25:23,196 --> 00:25:24,946 Not smoked, fresh 314 00:25:51,029 --> 00:25:52,363 Precy! 315 00:25:53,029 --> 00:25:55,363 Come, quickly! 316 00:25:55,988 --> 00:25:57,696 — Madam? — Madam? 317 00:26:00,696 --> 00:26:02,488 Slap her 318 00:26:02,613 --> 00:26:04,196 You slap her 319 00:26:25,196 --> 00:26:27,696 What does she feed it to make it stink like that? 320 00:26:28,029 --> 00:26:29,071 Caviar 321 00:26:29,529 --> 00:26:31,529 She feeds her dog caviar 322 00:26:31,654 --> 00:26:33,278 It's not good for dogs? 323 00:26:33,403 --> 00:26:37,362 People in India are starving to death and she feeds her dog caviar! 324 00:26:37,487 --> 00:26:40,195 You don't understand, you can‘t 325 00:26:40,362 --> 00:26:43,278 You can't comprehend the pain of having a suffering dog 326 00:26:43,445 --> 00:26:45,195 You understand nothing 327 00:26:45,362 --> 00:26:47,194 Please, Marquise, calm down 328 00:26:47,361 --> 00:26:50,026 For Mr. Toby's sake, we‘ll find a solution 329 00:26:50,651 --> 00:26:54,318 I fear the worst, how soon can you get a veterinarian? 330 00:26:54,443 --> 00:26:57,985 That may not be so easy, Marquise, it's New Year‘s Eve 331 00:26:58,151 --> 00:26:59,651 Money is no object with love 332 00:27:04,568 --> 00:27:07,485 She's hysterical, something's wrong with that rat of hers 333 00:27:07,610 --> 00:27:10,193 I hate that dog, call the veterinarian 334 00:27:10,318 --> 00:27:13,359 I did, he's in Kenya on a safari 335 00:27:13,525 --> 00:27:16,067 — Then call the one in Hinterboden — He's in labor 336 00:27:16,192 --> 00:27:18,275 — He is in what? — A cow is in labor 337 00:27:18,400 --> 00:27:21,192 Difficult delivery, he's doing a C—section 338 00:27:21,317 --> 00:27:24,109 — So what am I to do? — You know how to deal with her 339 00:27:26,609 --> 00:27:30,567 He's had a problem doing his business in the snow since he was a baby 340 00:27:30,692 --> 00:27:32,359 — You know that — Yes 341 00:27:32,484 --> 00:27:36,025 — He can only do it on grass — Let me remind you 342 00:27:36,150 --> 00:27:37,650 we‘re in the Alps and it's winter 343 00:27:37,984 --> 00:27:40,359 Look, he‘s shaking all over 344 00:27:40,525 --> 00:27:44,358 A doctor should examine him immediately, every second counts 345 00:27:44,524 --> 00:27:46,691 — Yes, but unfortunately... — I know! 346 00:27:48,023 --> 00:27:49,565 Dr. Lima! 347 00:27:49,940 --> 00:27:52,023 But Dr. Lima is a plastic surgeon 348 00:27:52,190 --> 00:27:53,982 But he has a medical degree 349 00:27:54,148 --> 00:27:54,940 Yes, but... 350 00:27:55,065 --> 00:27:57,023 He adores dogs 351 00:27:57,148 --> 00:27:59,315 He has two Saint Bernards, he showed me pictures 352 00:27:59,482 --> 00:28:02,690 Yes, but he would certainly call a vet for his dogs 353 00:28:03,023 --> 00:28:06,440 Dr. Lima takes care of his wife so generously 354 00:28:06,565 --> 00:28:09,357 Alzheimer‘s in a family is a terrible tragedy 355 00:28:09,482 --> 00:28:13,023 — Yes, of course — I'm sure he will help Mr. Toby 356 00:28:18,273 --> 00:28:20,315 Please, connect me to Dr. Lima's room 357 00:28:25,232 --> 00:28:26,440 Hello? 358 00:28:26,565 --> 00:28:28,440 I need to speak to Dr. Lima 359 00:28:28,565 --> 00:28:31,357 Sorry, I don't know any Dr. Lima 360 00:28:35,273 --> 00:28:38,565 Sorry, I'm here, my wife is joking, of course 361 00:28:41,565 --> 00:28:43,189 Good morning, Marquise 362 00:28:45,646 --> 00:28:48,313 Not at all, happy to hear from you 363 00:28:55,355 --> 00:28:56,563 Forgive me, 364 00:28:56,688 --> 00:29:00,021 I‘ve been exclusively treating humans 365 00:29:05,146 --> 00:29:08,355 No, I guess it won't hurt to have a look 366 00:29:29,021 --> 00:29:30,563 Dear Russians, 367 00:29:31,188 --> 00:29:33,063 dear fellow citizens, 368 00:29:34,021 --> 00:29:37,605 I have been asked to become the head of state 369 00:29:39,105 --> 00:29:41,188 There will be no interruption of power 370 00:29:41,313 --> 00:29:44,521 not even for a minute in this country 371 00:29:45,105 --> 00:29:48,521 Freedom of expression, freedom of speech, 372 00:29:48,646 --> 00:29:50,605 freedom of conscience... 373 00:29:50,980 --> 00:29:52,396 Yelstin was drunk 374 00:29:53,396 --> 00:29:56,938 He will wake up tomorrow and think he's still president 375 00:30:00,063 --> 00:30:01,187 The armed forces 376 00:30:06,229 --> 00:30:09,187 are working the same as before 377 00:30:10,311 --> 00:30:13,061 Our State is intact and will remain intact, 378 00:30:13,228 --> 00:30:17,311 and continues working for the safety of each citizen 379 00:30:17,519 --> 00:30:20,519 When deciding to step down... 380 00:30:26,353 --> 00:30:28,144 What is his problem exactly? 381 00:30:28,311 --> 00:30:29,435 He won't do it in the snow 382 00:30:30,227 --> 00:30:33,227 He made that painfully obvious to me 383 00:30:33,977 --> 00:30:35,268 He's never acted like this before 384 00:30:35,685 --> 00:30:39,227 I guess there's no other way to put it... 385 00:30:40,185 --> 00:30:42,101 He crapped on my bed, voila 386 00:30:42,559 --> 00:30:43,392 I see 387 00:30:43,559 --> 00:30:45,642 Does he sense something? 388 00:30:46,017 --> 00:30:47,351 What would he sense? 389 00:30:47,517 --> 00:30:49,017 Y2K... 390 00:30:49,184 --> 00:30:51,059 The end of the world, of course 391 00:30:51,476 --> 00:30:53,476 Animals have an instinct 392 00:30:53,642 --> 00:30:56,475 often stronger than ours, an insight 393 00:30:56,641 --> 00:30:58,349 Marquise... 394 00:30:58,474 --> 00:31:00,474 You can't really believe in this twaddle 395 00:31:00,640 --> 00:31:03,515 I feel we're on the edge of a precipice, 396 00:31:04,432 --> 00:31:06,932 with all my heart 397 00:31:11,182 --> 00:31:12,306 You see, 398 00:31:12,473 --> 00:31:14,139 Y2K, the end of the world, 399 00:31:14,973 --> 00:31:15,973 what else? 400 00:31:16,098 --> 00:31:17,681 I have to examine his stool 401 00:31:22,598 --> 00:31:25,014 What did you do with the excrement? 402 00:31:27,348 --> 00:31:29,431 — What? — From the Marquise 403 00:31:30,014 --> 00:31:32,014 — Laundry room — With the regular bedding? 404 00:31:32,181 --> 00:31:35,473 What were we supposed to do, put it in the dishwasher? 405 00:31:35,681 --> 00:31:37,681 Find it, right away 406 00:31:39,681 --> 00:31:44,139 Zula, really? No respect for the Marquise‘s poo! 407 00:31:57,931 --> 00:31:59,181 Found it! 408 00:32:03,014 --> 00:32:04,556 I feel like Cinderella 409 00:32:04,681 --> 00:32:07,930 Except we'll never go to the fucking ball 410 00:32:08,263 --> 00:32:09,555 At least not tonight 411 00:32:26,222 --> 00:32:28,013 Oh, my God! 412 00:32:30,472 --> 00:32:31,680 Thanks 413 00:32:38,222 --> 00:32:40,138 Will there be anything else? 414 00:32:41,055 --> 00:32:43,055 No, thanks so much, Mrs. Frautschi 415 00:32:43,222 --> 00:32:44,680 At your service, madam 416 00:33:38,263 --> 00:33:40,097 Madam, can I help you? 417 00:33:40,222 --> 00:33:42,679 Can I take your suitcase? I‘ll take this for you 418 00:33:52,596 --> 00:33:54,220 May I help you, sir? 419 00:33:54,345 --> 00:33:57,345 We travel here for Mr. Crush, to see him in this hotel 420 00:33:57,511 --> 00:34:01,636 — You have an appointment with Mr. Crush? — No, making surprise 421 00:34:03,011 --> 00:34:04,345 He is here, yes? 422 00:34:04,511 --> 00:34:08,928 Sorry, the hotel doesn't give out that kind of information regarding guests 423 00:34:10,511 --> 00:34:11,970 Would you like to leave a message? 424 00:34:12,303 --> 00:34:14,386 I am his son 425 00:34:16,178 --> 00:34:19,011 I will notify Mr. Crush of your arrival 426 00:34:21,678 --> 00:34:24,178 Welcome to the Hammam Experience! 427 00:34:24,303 --> 00:34:26,178 I‘m Baba Paramahansa Ravi 428 00:34:26,345 --> 00:34:29,511 I will be taking care of you personally 429 00:34:29,678 --> 00:34:31,510 Please, follow me 430 00:34:32,677 --> 00:34:37,094 You will start with our famous foot ritual in the Infinity Room 431 00:34:37,260 --> 00:34:39,385 I‘m ticklish, though, just so you know 432 00:34:49,594 --> 00:34:52,385 — There‘s no answer — There is no answer in his room 433 00:34:54,177 --> 00:34:57,094 — There is no answer in his room — Yeah? 434 00:34:58,010 --> 00:35:00,135 You can wait in the lobby, if you want 435 00:35:00,385 --> 00:35:02,009 — Lobby — Lobby 436 00:35:02,176 --> 00:35:03,176 Yeah, lobby 437 00:35:03,509 --> 00:35:06,176 Good morning and welcome to the Palace hotel 438 00:35:06,301 --> 00:35:10,509 Please, allow us to take care of your coats and the luggage 439 00:35:11,343 --> 00:35:12,384 Yes? 440 00:35:13,301 --> 00:35:16,259 So, my name is Hansueli Kopf and I‘m the manager 441 00:35:22,134 --> 00:35:24,218 Why don‘t you have something to eat? 442 00:35:24,384 --> 00:35:26,676 On the house, smoked salmon, caviar... 443 00:35:27,009 --> 00:35:28,009 Some oysters perhaps? 444 00:35:29,093 --> 00:35:30,676 Something to eat? 445 00:35:31,343 --> 00:35:32,384 Soup? 446 00:35:32,551 --> 00:35:35,426 — Where are you arriving from? — Ceské Budejovice 447 00:35:36,343 --> 00:35:38,551 — Is it a long way? — Very long 448 00:35:38,676 --> 00:35:41,551 Changing trains, Vienna and Zurich... 449 00:35:42,926 --> 00:35:45,593 — You have soup? — Yes, a lot of soup 450 00:35:45,926 --> 00:35:47,968 Girls are cold 451 00:35:48,134 --> 00:35:50,218 I‘ll bring some broth to warm them up 452 00:35:50,509 --> 00:35:52,634 Put some dumplings in 453 00:36:03,218 --> 00:36:05,551 What's your diagnosis, Dr. Lima? 454 00:36:06,593 --> 00:36:09,509 I beg you, be absolutely honest, I‘m ready for anything 455 00:36:09,676 --> 00:36:11,300 I‘m not a veterinarian, 456 00:36:11,425 --> 00:36:14,342 but I'm certain Mr. Toby has worms 457 00:36:17,007 --> 00:36:19,174 — Is that bad? — Don't worry 458 00:36:19,341 --> 00:36:22,507 It's common among dogs, mine had them too 459 00:36:22,632 --> 00:36:25,966 I will prescribe medicine for the parasites 460 00:36:26,341 --> 00:36:28,132 to give Mr. Toby right away 461 00:36:28,257 --> 00:36:31,007 — But he's not going to die? — Of course not 462 00:36:31,132 --> 00:36:32,548 Thank God! 463 00:36:32,923 --> 00:36:35,048 However, there's a little problem 464 00:36:35,923 --> 00:36:37,547 I‘m afraid you may share... 465 00:36:38,172 --> 00:36:39,464 this affliction 466 00:36:40,672 --> 00:36:42,214 I have worms? 467 00:36:42,380 --> 00:36:43,672 Maybe, yes 468 00:36:44,380 --> 00:36:45,504 Worms inside my body? 469 00:36:45,671 --> 00:36:48,629 I‘ll be sure when I've seen... 470 00:36:48,963 --> 00:36:51,171 your stool sample 471 00:36:51,546 --> 00:36:52,670 My what? 472 00:36:53,045 --> 00:36:55,003 Your stool 473 00:37:23,212 --> 00:37:25,420 Puff! Puff, look! 474 00:37:25,545 --> 00:37:28,170 — What? — We're on the front cover again 475 00:37:36,170 --> 00:37:39,587 Why do you have to get so carried away, Puff? 476 00:37:39,920 --> 00:37:44,003 — I didn't even have time to dry my hair — Hyenas! 477 00:37:44,128 --> 00:37:46,170 Scumbucket hacks! 478 00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:55,503 All they ever write about day after day 479 00:37:55,670 --> 00:37:57,045 is how much... 480 00:37:59,337 --> 00:38:01,962 you‘re going to inherit from me... 481 00:38:02,670 --> 00:38:04,628 come tomorrow 482 00:38:05,003 --> 00:38:09,003 Don't get so upset, Puff, your blood pressure 483 00:38:11,295 --> 00:38:13,337 Honey, you already took one 484 00:38:13,503 --> 00:38:15,170 And without water? 485 00:38:27,628 --> 00:38:28,670 That‘s better 486 00:38:35,462 --> 00:38:37,086 Here he comes 487 00:38:41,252 --> 00:38:42,960 — Go and tell him — Me? 488 00:38:43,085 --> 00:38:45,168 Yeah, it might be easier to hear it from you 489 00:38:47,460 --> 00:38:50,335 Could I have a bottle of Bollinger and two glasses? 490 00:38:50,501 --> 00:38:52,085 Would you like anything else? 491 00:38:52,335 --> 00:38:56,460 — Yes, a couple of hot super models — Not on the menu, sir 492 00:38:57,251 --> 00:38:58,459 Sir 493 00:38:59,250 --> 00:39:01,334 — Your son is here — What? 494 00:39:01,459 --> 00:39:03,375 Your son is here 495 00:39:03,500 --> 00:39:05,667 A son? I don't have a son 496 00:39:13,167 --> 00:39:14,499 At last! 497 00:39:15,208 --> 00:39:16,499 Give me a hug! 498 00:39:18,166 --> 00:39:21,583 — Who the hell are you? — It's me, I'm your son, Vaclav! 499 00:39:21,958 --> 00:39:23,666 Listen to me, asshole 500 00:39:23,999 --> 00:39:25,999 Stay the fuck away or I‘ll call security 501 00:39:26,458 --> 00:39:30,291 Dad, we came all the way to see you from Ceské Budejovice 502 00:39:30,458 --> 00:39:31,958 "Budejoic", what? "Bude"... 503 00:39:32,124 --> 00:39:35,291 — So you can meet your family — My family? I don't have a family 504 00:39:35,916 --> 00:39:39,499 These are your granddaughters, Ivanka and Jaromira 505 00:39:39,666 --> 00:39:42,583 Listen, I don't know you, okay? So scram... 506 00:39:42,958 --> 00:39:44,166 They are twins 507 00:39:44,291 --> 00:39:47,332 We used artificial insemination 508 00:39:48,040 --> 00:39:48,998 Dad... 509 00:39:49,165 --> 00:39:54,082 I write so many letters to you, remember? I even sent you wooden squirrel 510 00:39:54,248 --> 00:39:58,165 — So cute, right? — Get the fuck out of my face, you clown 511 00:39:58,332 --> 00:40:01,415 Incredible! How can he be so inhuman? 512 00:40:01,582 --> 00:40:04,332 I am the fruit of your college love 513 00:40:04,457 --> 00:40:07,998 When you were in Prague for two days... This is mama back then 514 00:40:08,165 --> 00:40:13,040 Take one more step, I'm gonna bust your fucking nose wide open, hear me? 515 00:40:13,207 --> 00:40:15,498 You gave her a keychain that said "Chevrolet" 516 00:40:15,665 --> 00:40:18,914 I‘ve never been to Prague, I don't even know where Prague is 517 00:40:19,664 --> 00:40:21,331 You, sir, are heartless 518 00:40:23,039 --> 00:40:25,997 — And on a day like this? — Do you have a light, sweetheart? 519 00:40:27,456 --> 00:40:29,164 Please, please, please 520 00:40:29,331 --> 00:40:33,497 This must be settled calmly, in private, please, there are other guests 521 00:40:35,413 --> 00:40:38,038 Your papa is nervous, this must be a shock for him 522 00:40:38,163 --> 00:40:41,246 You must give him some time, don't worry 523 00:40:46,371 --> 00:40:49,246 A penguin! A penguin! A penguin! 524 00:40:49,955 --> 00:40:50,996 — Tonino? — Yes, boss? 525 00:40:51,163 --> 00:40:54,080 Mr. Dallas's mascot is wandering around outside The Gringo 526 00:40:54,205 --> 00:40:56,245 Get it out of here immediately 527 00:40:56,412 --> 00:40:59,162 Come on, it's just a penguin, come, come 528 00:41:08,245 --> 00:41:09,329 Come 529 00:41:13,954 --> 00:41:15,162 So, here... 530 00:41:15,287 --> 00:41:17,454 You will be comfortable here for now 531 00:41:17,579 --> 00:41:21,204 At the moment it‘s peaceful, and then we will see 532 00:41:24,037 --> 00:41:25,037 Oh, my god 533 00:41:33,162 --> 00:41:35,037 Can I help you, sir? 534 00:41:42,954 --> 00:41:44,994 — Good afternoon, sir — Caspar Tell 535 00:41:45,119 --> 00:41:47,328 I have an appointment with Mr. Crush, in the lobby bar 536 00:41:47,494 --> 00:41:50,036 — Mr. Crush — I don't know Mr. Crush personally 537 00:41:50,161 --> 00:41:53,119 — Perhaps someone could lead me to him? — Certainly 538 00:41:54,619 --> 00:41:56,411 Mr. Crush in the lobby 539 00:41:57,369 --> 00:41:59,077 Follow him 540 00:41:59,243 --> 00:42:01,035 — Thank you — You're welcome 541 00:42:01,202 --> 00:42:03,451 As I was saying, Marco called... 542 00:42:04,451 --> 00:42:05,575 Thank you 543 00:42:07,407 --> 00:42:08,990 Mr. Crush? 544 00:42:09,115 --> 00:42:13,490 — Mr. Tell! Take a load off, have a seat — Yeah, yes 545 00:42:16,032 --> 00:42:18,240 I was afraid I might not recognize you from your photos 546 00:42:19,115 --> 00:42:20,657 From my photos? 547 00:42:20,990 --> 00:42:23,324 Well, I pride myself on being thorough 548 00:42:23,490 --> 00:42:26,323 The bank always runs a thorough background check on prospective clients 549 00:42:26,614 --> 00:42:29,156 Yeah, well, that's good to know 550 00:42:29,323 --> 00:42:33,323 I mean, background checks are... I‘d expect nothing less, believe me 551 00:42:34,156 --> 00:42:36,489 I know you gotta run back to your office, but... 552 00:42:36,989 --> 00:42:39,406 today is a very special day 553 00:42:39,531 --> 00:42:41,155 A drop of champagne with me? 554 00:42:42,613 --> 00:42:44,155 Yes, please 555 00:42:45,322 --> 00:42:46,322 Thank you 556 00:42:47,155 --> 00:42:48,613 There we go 557 00:42:49,322 --> 00:42:50,446 Ishouldn't... 558 00:42:51,986 --> 00:42:53,486 — Prost! — Prost 559 00:42:56,653 --> 00:42:58,528 I‘m very grateful for the invitation, Mr. Crush 560 00:42:58,903 --> 00:43:00,945 I was here once, when I was seven 561 00:43:01,070 --> 00:43:03,986 My whole first grade class came and we met Father Christmas 562 00:43:04,111 --> 00:43:05,445 I always wanted to come back again 563 00:43:05,611 --> 00:43:08,611 Did you bring that little thing we‘ve discussed? 564 00:43:09,486 --> 00:43:11,653 Well, that's the thing, Mr. Crush 565 00:43:11,986 --> 00:43:15,027 I ran another check on your portfolio right after we spoke this morning 566 00:43:15,652 --> 00:43:18,152 The numbers don't entirely add up 567 00:43:18,319 --> 00:43:21,527 You see? There seems to be a difference of three zeros 568 00:43:21,652 --> 00:43:24,109 — Three zeros — Caspar, listen to me 569 00:43:24,276 --> 00:43:29,068 Computers worldwide are about to crash because of a "difference of zeros" 570 00:43:29,193 --> 00:43:33,984 They gonna read 2000 as zeros, only zeros, zeros here, zeros there... 571 00:43:34,109 --> 00:43:38,276 The whole world is going to be zeros, so an extra zero or two, who'll notice? 572 00:43:38,443 --> 00:43:41,484 Me, it‘s my job to notice those things 573 00:43:41,609 --> 00:43:44,234 — I've been a bank auditor for 31 years — Exactly! 574 00:43:44,359 --> 00:43:47,901 Now, by this time tomorrow, 575 00:43:48,026 --> 00:43:50,483 we‘ll be two of the richest men on the planet, all right? 576 00:43:50,650 --> 00:43:53,192 Should we drink to that? Prost! 577 00:43:53,608 --> 00:43:54,983 Prost! 578 00:43:59,942 --> 00:44:01,317 You know what? 579 00:44:01,483 --> 00:44:03,983 The walls have ears in here, why don‘t we... 580 00:44:04,150 --> 00:44:06,358 go out on the terrace? 581 00:44:18,233 --> 00:44:21,983 In people's minds, New Year is one precise moment, okay? 582 00:44:22,150 --> 00:44:25,567 The stroke of midnight, that‘s fine, but midnight where? 583 00:44:26,192 --> 00:44:29,317 In Tokyo? In Hawaii? Right here? 584 00:44:29,483 --> 00:44:33,400 New Year's is a bust out twenty—four fucking hours, Caspar 585 00:44:34,150 --> 00:44:38,025 So listen to me, you do your part and this afternoon the rest is easy 586 00:44:38,567 --> 00:44:43,025 The funds get wired to London, then to New York, LA, Honolulu... 587 00:44:43,150 --> 00:44:46,150 each time reaching its destination earlier than it was sent 588 00:44:46,317 --> 00:44:51,024 Well, I suppose, if the credit was logged prior to the debit, 589 00:44:51,149 --> 00:44:54,232 assuming the amount clears before... 590 00:44:54,399 --> 00:44:56,566 We‘re traveling back in time, Caspar 591 00:44:56,899 --> 00:44:59,356 Like a science fiction thriller 592 00:45:00,480 --> 00:45:04,480 Alright? We put this tired old century in suspended animation 593 00:45:04,647 --> 00:45:06,397 Alright? And then boom! 594 00:45:06,522 --> 00:45:10,147 2000 hits, bang! Hits again, hits again 595 00:45:10,272 --> 00:45:13,064 The whole system resets, okay? 596 00:45:13,230 --> 00:45:15,939 Thank you, Y2K, cha—ching brother! 597 00:45:17,022 --> 00:45:18,189 Cha—ching 598 00:45:43,647 --> 00:45:45,314 Who are you? 599 00:45:45,480 --> 00:45:47,980 I am a plumber, Mr. Kopf ordered me 600 00:45:48,147 --> 00:45:49,479 To do what? 601 00:45:49,646 --> 00:45:52,021 I put grass in your toilet 602 00:46:05,313 --> 00:46:08,146 A truly magnificent idea, Hansueli 603 00:46:08,271 --> 00:46:10,146 Thank you, thank you, thank you 604 00:46:13,479 --> 00:46:15,604 Would you like something to drink? 605 00:46:16,479 --> 00:46:17,646 Monsieur? 606 00:46:17,979 --> 00:46:20,396 — Yes? — Would you like something to drink? 607 00:46:20,563 --> 00:46:22,103 No 608 00:46:30,395 --> 00:46:32,227 Mr. Minetti! 609 00:46:34,186 --> 00:46:35,518 Ski room 610 00:46:35,976 --> 00:46:37,600 Please, come in, come 611 00:46:37,934 --> 00:46:39,892 Goddamn snowboarders! 612 00:46:40,059 --> 00:46:42,059 Oh my God, take off the boots! 613 00:46:42,225 --> 00:46:45,892 Bring some ice from the bar, hurry! Please, have a seat 614 00:46:47,975 --> 00:46:50,309 Come here, here! Pull off, some ice is coming 615 00:46:51,017 --> 00:46:52,059 What happened? 616 00:46:52,225 --> 00:46:53,475 Snowboarders! 617 00:46:53,642 --> 00:46:56,267 Mr. Minetti needs a doctor right away 618 00:46:58,600 --> 00:47:00,392 A doctor? Why? 619 00:47:23,059 --> 00:47:24,475 Thank you very much 620 00:47:26,267 --> 00:47:28,309 — Thank you, madam — What is your name? 621 00:47:28,642 --> 00:47:29,642 Karol 622 00:47:30,142 --> 00:47:31,974 — Czech? — Polish, like Pope 623 00:47:32,141 --> 00:47:33,641 — Pope? — Yes 624 00:47:37,308 --> 00:47:39,391 — Dog likes play, yes? — I beg your pardon? 625 00:47:41,933 --> 00:47:43,473 Nice dog you have 626 00:47:44,640 --> 00:47:46,432 But... where did he find that? 627 00:47:46,640 --> 00:47:47,640 That‘s not mine 628 00:47:48,348 --> 00:47:51,098 Hotels! You never know who slept in your room the night before 629 00:47:51,265 --> 00:47:52,557 — Yes — Toby! 630 00:47:53,140 --> 00:47:54,390 Put it down! 631 00:47:59,473 --> 00:48:02,265 Okay, I go 632 00:48:02,432 --> 00:48:03,932 I better go now, okay? 633 00:48:07,597 --> 00:48:09,139 Happy New Year, Karol 634 00:48:10,889 --> 00:48:13,306 To you too, madam, Happy New Year 635 00:48:13,472 --> 00:48:16,389 Is there a special party for the staff downstairs? 636 00:48:16,514 --> 00:48:18,346 No, just work, all night 637 00:48:18,513 --> 00:48:23,555 And what if the drain in my bathroom clogged up at, say... 638 00:48:23,930 --> 00:48:25,513 four in the morning? 639 00:48:25,638 --> 00:48:28,180 — I would be there — Then be 640 00:48:28,471 --> 00:48:32,346 Dr. Lima, are you acquainted with our favorite artist, Mr. Minetti? 641 00:48:32,471 --> 00:48:36,388 — Yes, we met briefly at the bar — Darling, boy, how I missed you! 642 00:48:38,346 --> 00:48:40,221 Come with me, darling 643 00:48:40,346 --> 00:48:43,555 Let's have a rest 644 00:48:44,138 --> 00:48:46,221 Didn't I see you on television, dear? 645 00:48:46,388 --> 00:48:48,971 Have a seat, let me get a drink 646 00:48:49,096 --> 00:48:51,971 I can't, I have so much going on downstairs 647 00:48:52,138 --> 00:48:53,970 C'mon, not even a little one? 648 00:48:54,304 --> 00:48:55,345 Okay 649 00:48:56,012 --> 00:48:58,304 — Maybe I deserve a little one — Of course you do 650 00:48:58,470 --> 00:49:01,012 Here we go, to the year 2000! 651 00:49:01,887 --> 00:49:03,303 — Cheers! — Cheers! 652 00:49:05,594 --> 00:49:10,511 So, I will have to wear a bandage at the big party tonight? 653 00:49:10,886 --> 00:49:12,594 We‘ll have to put something on it 654 00:49:12,969 --> 00:49:17,553 You‘ll look like this actor from the movie, with a bandage on the nose 655 00:49:18,178 --> 00:49:19,928 What was the name of the movie? 656 00:49:20,094 --> 00:49:22,469 — Yes, yes, yes, yes — Boss? 657 00:49:22,636 --> 00:49:25,636 — Speak — There’s a problem in the kitchen 658 00:49:25,969 --> 00:49:28,969 — Of course there is, coming — One for the road? 659 00:49:29,136 --> 00:49:30,968 Yes, a quick one 660 00:49:31,302 --> 00:49:33,427 And maybe you should have another one, a double 661 00:49:35,051 --> 00:49:36,926 — A double? — Bye bye 662 00:49:37,301 --> 00:49:38,592 Bye! 663 00:49:46,967 --> 00:49:48,301 So let's get it over with 664 00:49:58,301 --> 00:50:00,966 You must've played a doctor more than once, right? 665 00:50:01,133 --> 00:50:02,508 Never 666 00:50:02,633 --> 00:50:04,549 Such a cliche 667 00:50:05,299 --> 00:50:08,132 Do you write your own film scripts? 668 00:50:08,299 --> 00:50:10,049 I do sometimes 669 00:50:11,299 --> 00:50:13,299 I used to be a producer 670 00:50:21,299 --> 00:50:23,257 This bit won't hurt 671 00:50:23,424 --> 00:50:25,382 Ijust need to measure the bone displacement 672 00:50:25,549 --> 00:50:28,340 Relax, think of something pleasant 673 00:50:28,507 --> 00:50:31,090 — Maybe your next film project? — Nothing in the making 674 00:50:31,257 --> 00:50:32,924 I‘ll warn you before I do anything 675 00:50:34,007 --> 00:50:37,632 Did you know that bats have a bone in their penis? 676 00:50:38,007 --> 00:50:40,632 — Really? — In your line of work, it could prove... 677 00:50:41,007 --> 00:50:41,924 invaluable 678 00:51:10,090 --> 00:51:13,465 It's so dark in here, Puff, I thought you liked looking at me 679 00:51:19,299 --> 00:51:21,174 How beautiful! 680 00:51:23,090 --> 00:51:24,632 The Big Dipper! 681 00:51:24,965 --> 00:51:26,007 Come on, darling 682 00:51:26,174 --> 00:51:29,215 I have a star from the heaven... 683 00:51:30,132 --> 00:51:32,007 just for you 684 00:51:35,299 --> 00:51:37,465 The world's most precious necklace 685 00:51:37,590 --> 00:51:40,382 for my most precious princess 686 00:51:41,132 --> 00:51:42,299 Turn around 687 00:51:42,465 --> 00:51:43,965 Put your hair up 688 00:51:57,257 --> 00:52:00,424 Do I get my blowjob or what? 689 00:52:00,590 --> 00:52:03,882 Testing, one, two, three... 690 00:52:04,257 --> 00:52:06,465 Testing, one, two, three... 691 00:52:13,965 --> 00:52:15,381 Enjoying the oysters? 692 00:52:15,506 --> 00:52:19,214 Yeah, I enjoy, my wife also 693 00:52:19,381 --> 00:52:23,214 The disco will open soon, but I have a quiet place for you for a while 694 00:52:23,589 --> 00:52:25,464 And then we will see again, I guess. 695 00:52:25,631 --> 00:52:28,548 You are very kind, Mr. Hansueli Kopf 696 00:52:32,048 --> 00:52:33,131 As I told you... 697 00:52:41,006 --> 00:52:42,464 Come in, come in 698 00:52:49,048 --> 00:52:52,631 Sit, sit, the children‘s program ends soon, 699 00:52:53,006 --> 00:52:55,964 but you can rest here and then we will find a better place 700 00:52:56,131 --> 00:52:58,548 — They like it here — Yes, I thought so 701 00:52:58,881 --> 00:53:01,130 — I have twin girls myself — Really? 702 00:53:01,297 --> 00:53:03,172 — Yes — How old? 703 00:53:03,338 --> 00:53:04,630 Grown up 704 00:53:04,963 --> 00:53:07,380 Can I do anything else for you? 705 00:53:07,547 --> 00:53:11,088 I would very much like to call my mama, tell her we are good 706 00:53:11,505 --> 00:53:13,962 No problem, you can use my phone 707 00:53:14,129 --> 00:53:15,296 Thank you, I will be very quick 708 00:53:15,462 --> 00:53:17,504 No, take as much time as you need 709 00:53:18,046 --> 00:53:19,296 Thank you 710 00:53:24,129 --> 00:53:26,004 Mommy, it‘s me Vaclav! 711 00:53:26,296 --> 00:53:28,087 We‘re in the same hotel as daddy 712 00:53:28,462 --> 00:53:30,254 He sends his greetings 713 00:53:30,379 --> 00:53:33,254 He remembers the Chevrolet keychain 714 00:53:33,379 --> 00:53:35,295 He looks just like me 715 00:53:35,461 --> 00:53:39,628 Only he‘s orange, because of the sun 716 00:53:40,003 --> 00:53:41,295 in California 717 00:53:42,419 --> 00:53:45,002 He may come to Budejovice 718 00:53:45,127 --> 00:53:46,585 Wouldn't that be great? 719 00:53:47,419 --> 00:53:49,085 I‘ll call you back 720 00:53:49,252 --> 00:53:50,919 when I‘m with him again 721 00:53:51,169 --> 00:53:52,627 Bye bye, kisses 722 00:53:53,419 --> 00:53:55,627 — Thank you, Mr. Kopf — Yeah 723 00:53:56,377 --> 00:53:58,460 — Enjoy — Thank you 724 00:54:13,544 --> 00:54:14,960 Puff? 725 00:54:16,127 --> 00:54:17,919 Puff, you are okay? 726 00:54:20,085 --> 00:54:21,377 Puff? 727 00:54:21,877 --> 00:54:23,460 Honey, what's the matter? 728 00:54:25,044 --> 00:54:26,460 Arthur! 729 00:54:27,210 --> 00:54:29,002 Arthur, answer me! 730 00:54:42,919 --> 00:54:44,127 Oh, my God! 731 00:54:44,460 --> 00:54:45,627 Oh, my God! 732 00:55:02,877 --> 00:55:04,044 Okay 733 00:55:04,960 --> 00:55:06,627 Okay, don't... 734 00:55:06,960 --> 00:55:08,544 Don't panic 735 00:55:09,335 --> 00:55:10,919 Don't panic, don't panic 736 00:55:11,960 --> 00:55:14,252 God, Magnolia, think 737 00:55:34,919 --> 00:55:35,919 Concierge 738 00:55:36,044 --> 00:55:39,419 — Hello, this is Mrs. Dallas — What can I do for you? 739 00:55:39,544 --> 00:55:43,460 — May I speak to Mr. Kopf? — Could I have him call you back? 740 00:55:43,627 --> 00:55:46,502 — No, I'll hold on — It might take a few minutes 741 00:55:46,627 --> 00:55:49,876 No, that's all right, I‘m not going anywhere 742 00:55:51,168 --> 00:55:52,876 Mrs. Frautschi 743 00:55:53,543 --> 00:55:55,459 Oh, my God! What happened here? 744 00:55:55,626 --> 00:55:58,626 A guest tried to flush his banking history down the toilet 745 00:55:58,959 --> 00:56:02,251 — His banking history? — More Y2K madness 746 00:56:02,376 --> 00:56:04,625 Mrs. Frautschi, do you know about this Czech family? 747 00:56:05,000 --> 00:56:07,958 You made sure the whole hotel knows about them 748 00:56:08,125 --> 00:56:09,333 You have to find a place for them to sleep 749 00:56:09,500 --> 00:56:11,250 Mr. Kopf, on a day like this? 750 00:56:11,375 --> 00:56:13,958 — I can‘t perform miracles — I know 751 00:56:14,083 --> 00:56:17,500 But just put four mattresses in a quiet corner, would you? Please 752 00:56:17,625 --> 00:56:19,083 — Boss? — Yes, speak 753 00:56:19,208 --> 00:56:21,333 Mrs. Dallas is asking for you 754 00:56:22,917 --> 00:56:24,125 I‘m coming 755 00:56:26,917 --> 00:56:28,167 Who is it? 756 00:56:32,125 --> 00:56:34,625 It's me, madam, Hansueli Kopf 757 00:56:34,958 --> 00:56:36,417 — Are you alone? — Yes 758 00:56:36,542 --> 00:56:38,958 Come in, I'm in the bedroom 759 00:56:46,875 --> 00:56:48,625 Come closer, please 760 00:56:57,292 --> 00:56:59,417 Good evening, what can I do for you? 761 00:57:00,167 --> 00:57:03,000 Arthur told me you‘re someone who can be trusted 762 00:57:03,125 --> 00:57:05,582 — Can I trust you? — Of course you can trust me 763 00:57:05,957 --> 00:57:08,124 — You promise? — Absolutely 764 00:57:08,541 --> 00:57:10,998 I‘m in a terrible predicament 765 00:57:11,165 --> 00:57:13,998 You‘re the only person who can help me, I guess 766 00:57:14,956 --> 00:57:17,290 My darling husband is gone 767 00:57:17,415 --> 00:57:21,456 Oh, God, he left you? He's gone on your wedding anniversary? 768 00:57:21,623 --> 00:57:23,998 No, no, he‘s gone... forever 769 00:57:25,290 --> 00:57:28,623 Just as our happiness was reaching a climax 770 00:57:28,956 --> 00:57:30,623 At least I think so, anyway... 771 00:57:31,123 --> 00:57:33,623 Now, he's definitely gone 772 00:57:36,165 --> 00:57:38,622 Oh, my goodness! Oh, my goodness! This... 773 00:57:38,955 --> 00:57:41,039 This is... this is... this is terrible 774 00:57:41,164 --> 00:57:44,914 — Is he... how did he... Is he dead? — The worst part is... 775 00:57:45,039 --> 00:57:47,955 I can't seem to part with him 776 00:57:48,122 --> 00:57:50,914 Of course, of course, I'm so sorry 777 00:57:51,039 --> 00:57:52,497 I can imagine how you feel... 778 00:57:52,622 --> 00:57:55,164 No, no, that's not what I'm getting at 779 00:57:58,413 --> 00:58:02,538 Back in Texas, they‘d say my husband died in the saddle and... 780 00:58:02,871 --> 00:58:06,038 I can't seem to dismount 781 00:58:06,204 --> 00:58:09,329 Oh, God! Oh, God! I‘ll call the ambulance right away 782 00:58:09,496 --> 00:58:13,121 No, no, no! Just get me off, please 783 00:58:13,288 --> 00:58:14,454 Please... 784 00:58:17,579 --> 00:58:19,913 Okay, very well 785 00:58:20,079 --> 00:58:22,328 Just give me a moment, I... 786 00:58:22,495 --> 00:58:25,287 absolutely understand the situation, and I‘ll be back right away 787 00:58:25,453 --> 00:58:26,912 Okay 788 00:58:31,870 --> 00:58:32,953 ReaHy? 789 00:58:33,287 --> 00:58:34,578 Thank you 790 00:58:34,912 --> 00:58:36,452 Thanks so much, Professor 791 00:58:37,161 --> 00:58:38,952 And Happy New Year 792 00:59:05,536 --> 00:59:09,452 I‘ve been advised of an effective way out of such a situation 793 00:59:10,911 --> 00:59:13,952 Would you mind exposing part of your abdomen? 794 00:59:20,619 --> 00:59:22,868 It would be better if you closed your eyes 795 00:59:23,035 --> 00:59:23,868 Oh, God! 796 00:59:45,493 --> 00:59:46,951 Thank you 797 00:59:47,910 --> 00:59:50,285 Thank you, Mr. Kopf, from the bottom of my heart 798 00:59:50,451 --> 00:59:54,035 Well, shall I start making arrangements? 799 00:59:54,201 --> 00:59:56,410 Wait, no! No, please 800 00:59:56,535 --> 01:00:00,160 Not yet, there is another delicate matter 801 01:00:00,285 --> 01:00:03,118 — Yes? — No one else can know until midnight 802 01:00:03,285 --> 01:00:05,534 Until midnight? For religious reasons? 803 01:00:05,867 --> 01:00:09,908 — You obviously don't read the tabloids — No, I try not to 804 01:00:10,074 --> 01:00:12,949 For legal reasons... Wait, no 805 01:00:13,116 --> 01:00:14,240 It's a technicality 806 01:00:15,115 --> 01:00:16,282 I don't understand 807 01:00:16,448 --> 01:00:19,281 — Today is our wedding anniversary — Yes, of course 808 01:00:19,447 --> 01:00:21,947 — We sang and then there was the penguin — According to the will, 809 01:00:22,114 --> 01:00:24,447 I stand to inherit everything, 810 01:00:24,572 --> 01:00:27,447 but only after we‘ve been married a full year 811 01:00:28,406 --> 01:00:29,906 Everything? 812 01:00:30,281 --> 01:00:32,113 It's everything 813 01:00:33,155 --> 01:00:35,404 It's everything or it‘s nothing 814 01:00:36,362 --> 01:00:38,237 Well, indeed, I understand 815 01:00:38,404 --> 01:00:39,944 Turndown service! 816 01:00:42,236 --> 01:00:44,111 Would you like your turndown service? 817 01:00:47,194 --> 01:00:50,403 Sorry, would you like your turndown service, madam? 818 01:00:50,528 --> 01:00:52,444 Turndown service? 819 01:00:53,194 --> 01:00:56,235 Arthur, we don't need turndown service, do we? 820 01:00:58,027 --> 01:01:00,110 No, no, thank you 821 01:01:00,235 --> 01:01:02,277 Would you like the chocolates, madam? 822 01:01:02,443 --> 01:01:04,027 Chocolates? 823 01:01:04,152 --> 01:01:07,360 Absolutely, my husband adores these chocolates 824 01:01:07,485 --> 01:01:09,942 — Have a good evening — Thank you 825 01:01:32,067 --> 01:01:34,526 This will require your absolute discretion 826 01:01:36,317 --> 01:01:38,276 Something bad? 827 01:01:41,276 --> 01:01:43,442 — Oh, yes — How bad? 828 01:01:46,234 --> 01:01:47,942 Bad bad 829 01:01:48,109 --> 01:01:50,442 A vertical departure 830 01:01:51,609 --> 01:01:53,276 — Who? — Dallas the Third 831 01:01:53,401 --> 01:01:54,567 Fuck! 832 01:01:54,901 --> 01:01:56,276 — The penthouse? — Yes 833 01:01:56,442 --> 01:02:01,276 — It'll be done during the fireworks — Excellent, Mrs. Frautschi, excellent 834 01:02:03,901 --> 01:02:06,484 Are you planning to dim the lights for the fireworks as usual? 835 01:02:06,609 --> 01:02:09,151 — Right after the cow bells — Switch them off completely 836 01:02:11,484 --> 01:02:14,067 Welcome, have a wonderful evening 837 01:02:15,067 --> 01:02:16,317 Coat, please 838 01:02:21,859 --> 01:02:22,609 Thank you 839 01:02:26,276 --> 01:02:27,859 Good evening, Mr. Madoff 840 01:02:27,984 --> 01:02:30,609 Have a wonderful evening and Happy New Year 841 01:02:32,567 --> 01:02:33,609 Thank you, sir 842 01:02:34,442 --> 01:02:37,984 — May I have your name, please? — Tell, Caspar Tell 843 01:02:40,942 --> 01:02:42,901 I don't seem to have your name on the list 844 01:02:43,901 --> 01:02:46,276 I gave you the invitation 845 01:02:46,401 --> 01:02:49,442 Yes, but your name needs to be on our guest list anyway 846 01:02:50,151 --> 01:02:52,984 Mr. Crush invited me, William Crush 847 01:02:53,109 --> 01:02:56,317 — There‘s "Mr. Crush and madam" here — I'm his madam 848 01:02:57,109 --> 01:03:00,067 Well of course I‘m not a madam, I‘m his madman... 849 01:03:00,234 --> 01:03:03,109 I mean, I'm his madam... 850 01:03:03,276 --> 01:03:06,109 I understand completely, welcome, Mr. Tell 851 01:03:07,026 --> 01:03:07,901 Thank you 852 01:03:08,234 --> 01:03:10,317 — We are business partners — Yes, sure 853 01:03:11,441 --> 01:03:13,275 Have a wonderful evening 854 01:03:14,233 --> 01:03:15,483 Good evening, madam 855 01:03:16,400 --> 01:03:17,483 Thank you 856 01:04:06,483 --> 01:04:08,858 — There‘s my man! — Mr. Crush 857 01:04:09,566 --> 01:04:11,274 Let's celebrate, huh? 858 01:04:12,149 --> 01:04:14,398 Do we deserve to celebrate? 859 01:04:15,148 --> 01:04:18,148 — Yes — That's my pleasure to help, brother 860 01:04:22,273 --> 01:04:24,606 Excuse me, madam, sit right here 861 01:04:24,939 --> 01:04:26,106 Two champagne 862 01:04:30,523 --> 01:04:32,439 It was quite easy, really 863 01:04:33,481 --> 01:04:36,023 I was surprised how easy it turned out to be 864 01:04:36,981 --> 01:04:38,189 Well... 865 01:04:39,356 --> 01:04:43,939 you know, the important thing that you learned today, my friend, is... 866 01:04:44,523 --> 01:04:46,980 the best stuff comes easy 867 01:04:47,147 --> 01:04:49,438 Okay? Trust me 868 01:04:50,022 --> 01:04:51,438 Ido 869 01:04:51,605 --> 01:04:53,605 Trust you, I mean 870 01:04:54,272 --> 01:04:56,521 I suppose I have to, now 871 01:04:58,104 --> 01:05:02,396 Well, what are we going to do now? When are we leaving? 872 01:05:03,104 --> 01:05:04,520 Tomorrow 873 01:05:04,895 --> 01:05:05,936 What? 874 01:05:06,978 --> 01:05:09,435 I don't think I can be ready by tomorrow 875 01:05:10,269 --> 01:05:13,602 I still haven't told my mother, I have to pack, 876 01:05:13,935 --> 01:05:16,852 get organized, I have to... all the... Mr. Crush... 877 01:05:17,019 --> 01:05:18,227 Call me Bill 878 01:05:18,894 --> 01:05:20,602 Okay, okay, Mr. Crush 879 01:05:20,935 --> 01:05:22,559 I mean, Bill 880 01:05:22,934 --> 01:05:25,351 Here's to trust, okay? 881 01:05:25,476 --> 01:05:26,434 Okay 882 01:05:29,101 --> 01:05:31,226 — To trust, Bill — To trust 883 01:05:53,309 --> 01:05:54,351 Good evening 884 01:05:56,351 --> 01:05:57,601 C'mon, darling 885 01:06:00,018 --> 01:06:01,934 — It's beautiful — Yes 886 01:06:09,351 --> 01:06:10,434 Welcome, Excellency 887 01:06:10,601 --> 01:06:13,601 I hope our last—minute visit has not caused too much trouble 888 01:06:13,934 --> 01:06:17,351 Not at all, it‘s a true honor, your party is already at the table 889 01:06:17,476 --> 01:06:21,601 Would you like to join them or would you prefer an aperitif first? 890 01:06:21,934 --> 01:06:25,059 — I'll join them at the table — Follow me 891 01:06:39,893 --> 01:06:41,433 Good evening, Mr. Ambassador! 892 01:06:41,600 --> 01:06:44,933 Trying to broadcast my presence to the entire world? 893 01:06:45,100 --> 01:06:46,892 Sit down and shut up 894 01:06:54,850 --> 01:06:56,350 — All in order? — Absolutely 895 01:06:56,933 --> 01:06:58,267 — No problems? — None 896 01:06:58,392 --> 01:06:59,932 — Got everything? — Yes 897 01:07:00,099 --> 01:07:01,307 Where? 898 01:07:01,432 --> 01:07:02,848 In the safe 899 01:07:02,973 --> 01:07:04,097 Where is it? 900 01:07:04,264 --> 01:07:05,888 Downstairs 901 01:07:06,013 --> 01:07:07,096 The key? 902 01:07:17,596 --> 01:07:18,846 Let's have a look 903 01:07:20,929 --> 01:07:23,929 I‘ll leave my wife here and you leave your friends 904 01:07:24,846 --> 01:07:26,096 Just you and me 905 01:07:32,054 --> 01:07:33,470 Behave! 906 01:07:39,012 --> 01:07:40,928 Take good care of Mrs. Belova 907 01:07:43,928 --> 01:07:45,262 Irina Anatolievna, a drink? 908 01:07:57,012 --> 01:07:59,387 This I understand! 909 01:08:01,427 --> 01:08:04,511 Let's drink to Irina Anatolievna! 910 01:08:05,261 --> 01:08:07,136 To your mother! 911 01:08:07,261 --> 01:08:09,427 — And your grandmother! — To your dog! 912 01:08:09,927 --> 01:08:11,886 — To your father! — And your grandfather! 913 01:08:13,052 --> 01:08:15,427 To the whole family 914 01:08:46,469 --> 01:08:50,094 — Are you out of your mind? — Sorry, but this is the best we could do 915 01:08:50,261 --> 01:08:52,011 And it wasn‘t easy 916 01:08:52,136 --> 01:08:56,219 We had to dig out the right sized table and push the other tables to the side 917 01:08:56,386 --> 01:09:00,136 Well, push them more together and bring me a decent table 918 01:09:00,969 --> 01:09:03,969 The table is not so bad, Mr... Bill 919 01:09:04,136 --> 01:09:07,593 I mean, I think it's rather... it's rather nice 920 01:09:07,968 --> 01:09:09,300 Shut up! 921 01:09:09,425 --> 01:09:12,217 And let me remind you that you had no reservation. 922 01:09:12,592 --> 01:09:14,134 Had no reservation... 923 01:09:14,300 --> 01:09:15,467 Listen... 924 01:09:16,092 --> 01:09:18,384 I will not sit at this table 925 01:09:21,259 --> 01:09:23,259 I‘ll see what I can do for you, sir 926 01:09:29,300 --> 01:09:33,217 Mr. Ambassador, assuming you're still Ambassador, 927 01:09:33,550 --> 01:09:35,592 the situation in Russia has changed 928 01:09:35,925 --> 01:09:38,174 A new president means new possibilities 929 01:09:38,341 --> 01:09:41,883 I‘d like to revise our agreement 930 01:09:42,049 --> 01:09:43,591 We all took risks, 931 01:09:43,924 --> 01:09:45,591 so let's be fair 932 01:09:45,924 --> 01:09:48,133 You might not like my line of thought 933 01:09:49,257 --> 01:09:50,965 Look at it like this 934 01:09:51,132 --> 01:09:54,257 There are three of us, plus three bodyguards 935 01:09:54,590 --> 01:09:57,590 With all due respect to your wife, you are alone 936 01:09:57,923 --> 01:09:58,923 Are you sure? 937 01:09:59,090 --> 01:10:01,048 Yes, I'm pretty damn sure 938 01:10:01,173 --> 01:10:02,881 I want to re—negotiate 939 01:10:03,131 --> 01:10:04,172 I‘m listening 940 01:10:04,922 --> 01:10:06,297 Fifty—fifty 941 01:10:16,839 --> 01:10:18,881 Here is my offer 942 01:10:19,006 --> 01:10:21,089 You take one, 943 01:10:21,214 --> 01:10:23,463 while I'm still in a good mood 944 01:10:24,963 --> 01:10:28,588 Sooner or later, we will slice up the Russian cake 945 01:10:28,921 --> 01:10:31,130 as usual 946 01:10:31,255 --> 01:10:33,588 And if one day we want to find you, 947 01:10:33,921 --> 01:10:35,880 we will find you, even on the tiniest... 948 01:10:36,046 --> 01:10:38,171 Hawaiian island 949 01:10:39,088 --> 01:10:41,421 — Two? — Don't push it, my boy 950 01:10:42,421 --> 01:10:45,921 Don't push it, my patience has limits 951 01:10:46,088 --> 01:10:48,088 I was only joking 952 01:10:49,130 --> 01:10:51,170 Joking? The key 953 01:11:08,212 --> 01:11:09,879 Let me see 954 01:11:10,045 --> 01:11:11,420 Very good 955 01:11:12,087 --> 01:11:14,170 Okay, as soon as you‘re finished... 956 01:11:15,837 --> 01:11:17,837 Third time today! 957 01:11:18,379 --> 01:11:20,920 Show your face, you son of a bitch! 958 01:11:31,545 --> 01:11:33,337 Here it comes! 959 01:11:33,962 --> 01:11:36,254 Caviar a 90—90! 960 01:11:42,379 --> 01:11:43,420 There she is 961 01:11:43,545 --> 01:11:46,254 Darling! You look sensational! 962 01:11:46,379 --> 01:11:49,587 Stunning! Absolutely stunning! 963 01:11:50,045 --> 01:11:51,587 Where's our lucky man? 964 01:11:53,337 --> 01:11:55,004 Arthur... 965 01:11:55,920 --> 01:11:58,254 Arthur sends his apologies 966 01:11:58,379 --> 01:12:00,545 He had another sleepless night 967 01:12:00,879 --> 01:12:02,295 I know something about that 968 01:12:03,045 --> 01:12:06,587 He decided to take a short nap, but he'll join us soon 969 01:12:06,962 --> 01:12:09,920 He wants his beauty sleep before coming to surprise us 970 01:12:10,045 --> 01:12:12,045 Handsome as Sean Connery 971 01:12:16,962 --> 01:12:18,212 How are you? 972 01:12:19,336 --> 01:12:22,086 It's such a significant day, 973 01:12:22,878 --> 01:12:24,586 especially for you 974 01:12:26,086 --> 01:12:27,169 It's so... 975 01:12:28,253 --> 01:12:30,544 It's hard to put into words 976 01:12:31,836 --> 01:12:33,211 We were so happy... 977 01:12:33,878 --> 01:12:35,086 We are, we are... 978 01:12:35,253 --> 01:12:38,378 so happy, we always will be 979 01:12:45,878 --> 01:12:47,086 Welcome back 980 01:12:52,586 --> 01:12:56,919 What did you scarf down? 981 01:12:59,503 --> 01:13:04,002 My friends, let's toast our new leader, 982 01:13:04,960 --> 01:13:07,209 who will take care of us 983 01:13:08,417 --> 01:13:11,417 for many, many years to come! 984 01:13:27,376 --> 01:13:28,459 What? 985 01:13:28,584 --> 01:13:32,251 I wonder if I can bring my mother! 986 01:13:32,917 --> 01:13:36,042 I can't leave her alone, I'm all she's got 987 01:13:36,167 --> 01:13:39,084 — Your mother? — Yes, my mother 988 01:13:41,209 --> 01:13:43,959 Bring your mother, bring whoever the hell you want, I don't care 989 01:13:44,084 --> 01:13:47,333 Really? That‘s so nice, Bill, I... 990 01:13:47,458 --> 01:13:48,958 She's gonna die soon 991 01:13:51,250 --> 01:13:53,915 She's 98, I think she's gonna die soon 992 01:13:54,915 --> 01:13:56,123 Great 993 01:13:57,206 --> 01:13:59,206 And she likes hot weather 994 01:14:00,248 --> 01:14:04,123 Hot weather! I‘m saying, she likes it hot 995 01:14:04,289 --> 01:14:06,331 Hot! My mama! 996 01:14:06,498 --> 01:14:08,955 Mama likes hot, so... 997 01:14:18,538 --> 01:14:22,330 I‘d better go check on Arthur, he must be awake by now 998 01:14:22,497 --> 01:14:25,372 — We're coming with you, darling — Maybe we should all go? 999 01:14:25,497 --> 01:14:30,330 — Let's give Arthur a surprise! — No, no, that‘s a very bad idea 1000 01:14:31,372 --> 01:14:35,122 You know Arthur, he‘d be embarrassed to be seen without his bowtie 1001 01:14:35,872 --> 01:14:38,455 Ok, we'll wait here patiently 1002 01:14:38,580 --> 01:14:40,913 — But hurry up, please — We won't touch the cake 1003 01:14:41,247 --> 01:14:44,580 We‘ll certainly be down for the fireworks, Arthur loves fireworks 1004 01:14:58,580 --> 01:15:01,080 I must go to the men's room, Bill 1005 01:15:05,455 --> 01:15:06,830 I really must 1006 01:15:06,997 --> 01:15:08,580 Now? What about your caviar? 1007 01:15:09,912 --> 01:15:13,079 No... I'm so sorry, Bill, I... 1008 01:15:14,329 --> 01:15:15,829 I‘m sorry, I'm sorry 1009 01:15:17,412 --> 01:15:18,828 Sorry, sorry! 1010 01:15:21,245 --> 01:15:22,828 I‘m so sorry, I... 1011 01:15:27,578 --> 01:15:29,870 I‘m sorry, really, you... 1012 01:15:31,245 --> 01:15:32,245 Sorry 1013 01:15:35,078 --> 01:15:36,536 Sorry, I'm sorry 1014 01:15:40,120 --> 01:15:41,828 — Sorry! — Be more careful 1015 01:15:41,953 --> 01:15:43,285 Yeah, madam, sorry 1016 01:16:07,285 --> 01:16:08,869 Oh, God! 1017 01:16:09,202 --> 01:16:11,577 What have you done, Caspar? 1018 01:16:12,369 --> 01:16:15,369 What have you done? How could you? 1019 01:16:15,494 --> 01:16:20,327 After so many years of diligence! 1020 01:16:28,244 --> 01:16:30,909 I deserve to be seeing penguins and hearing voices... 1021 01:16:41,118 --> 01:16:43,118 Gimme a drag 1022 01:16:44,909 --> 01:16:48,368 Look at that poor baby, he's waiting for his mommy 1023 01:16:48,534 --> 01:16:51,076 I bet he needs help 1024 01:16:53,409 --> 01:16:55,409 Hi, I'm your mommy 1025 01:16:58,284 --> 01:17:01,076 — Help yourself — Go ahead! 1026 01:17:01,201 --> 01:17:03,326 No, I don't smoke ciggie 1027 01:17:14,243 --> 01:17:16,201 Is this marijuana? 1028 01:17:18,909 --> 01:17:20,909 I smoke marijuana! 1029 01:17:21,034 --> 01:17:23,409 I smoke marijuana! 1030 01:17:26,076 --> 01:17:28,201 I deserve this, you know? 1031 01:17:28,326 --> 01:17:30,909 Mommy gives you permission 1032 01:17:33,409 --> 01:17:35,534 My name... my name is... 1033 01:17:35,868 --> 01:17:39,201 — How cute! — Caspar, Caspar Tell 1034 01:17:40,034 --> 01:17:43,409 — That's my name — I'm Natasha, she's Zoijka 1035 01:17:43,576 --> 01:17:45,408 I‘m the woman of your dreams 1036 01:18:17,325 --> 01:18:18,575 Fuck! 1037 01:18:19,991 --> 01:18:21,407 Oh, shit! 1038 01:18:25,532 --> 01:18:27,407 I know who you are 1039 01:18:28,907 --> 01:18:30,282 Holy shit! 1040 01:18:31,574 --> 01:18:34,324 You don't mind, do you? You‘re probably used to this 1041 01:18:34,491 --> 01:18:37,907 You know what? I'm glad I get to see that with my own two eyes 1042 01:18:38,074 --> 01:18:41,824 — I haven't really been hiding it — It's a monster you got there, brother 1043 01:18:41,949 --> 01:18:44,449 Hey, let me ask you something, is it... 1044 01:18:44,824 --> 01:18:48,949 Is it true that... that thing is insured for five million bucks? 1045 01:18:49,116 --> 01:18:51,282 It used to be, when it was earning 1046 01:18:51,407 --> 01:18:53,241 I wouldn't spend a penny on it now 1047 01:18:53,407 --> 01:18:55,991 You can't get wood, right? What good is it? 1048 01:18:56,157 --> 01:18:58,073 You could always join the circus 1049 01:19:03,573 --> 01:19:07,156 — Something special, sir? — Something very special 1050 01:19:07,281 --> 01:19:09,990 — Want to know why? — Sure 1051 01:19:10,156 --> 01:19:13,031 — Because I can afford it — Because he can afford it 1052 01:19:13,198 --> 01:19:14,406 Good for you, sir 1053 01:19:22,240 --> 01:19:24,406 That one looks beautiful! 1054 01:19:24,948 --> 01:19:29,156 — I want that one, please — Good eye, sir 1055 01:19:33,906 --> 01:19:36,406 — Do you like this? — Yes! Yes! 1056 01:19:36,573 --> 01:19:38,865 Bollinger, 1938 1057 01:19:39,865 --> 01:19:42,073 1938 1058 01:19:42,198 --> 01:19:44,156 Our only bottle 1059 01:19:46,072 --> 01:19:48,529 One of the finest champagnes money can buy 1060 01:19:48,904 --> 01:19:52,238 You‘ll never know who invited me tonight 1061 01:19:52,363 --> 01:19:55,488 I was invited by Mr. Crush himself 1062 01:19:55,821 --> 01:19:56,988 Who is that? 1063 01:19:57,821 --> 01:19:59,488 — What? — You don't know Mr. Crush? 1064 01:20:07,571 --> 01:20:10,904 There he is, Mr. Crush! Bill! 1065 01:20:11,363 --> 01:20:13,446 — This is Mr. Crush... — Caspar! 1066 01:20:13,821 --> 01:20:16,571 — My best friend and business partner — Where were you? Your mother's worried 1067 01:20:16,904 --> 01:20:18,446 She's looking all over for you 1068 01:20:18,571 --> 01:20:20,529 I called you a cab, get his ass out of here 1069 01:20:20,863 --> 01:20:23,821 — Where did you get this tan? Brazil? — It's natural 1070 01:20:23,946 --> 01:20:25,321 Dominican? 1071 01:20:25,446 --> 01:20:27,029 Natural? 1072 01:20:29,571 --> 01:20:31,279 I'll come back, Billy 1073 01:20:31,404 --> 01:20:35,154 Your guest charged this to your room, could you sign, please? 1074 01:20:39,904 --> 01:20:41,363 12,450... 1075 01:20:42,863 --> 01:20:43,987 Is this a joke? 1076 01:20:44,153 --> 01:20:47,402 It's a unique vintage: Bollinger Collection 1938 1077 01:20:47,902 --> 01:20:50,444 Well, take 1938 and stick it up your ass 1078 01:21:55,819 --> 01:21:58,860 I‘m sure I know him from somewhere 1079 01:22:05,901 --> 01:22:07,193 Ok, c'mon 1080 01:22:37,943 --> 01:22:39,067 Oh, my God! 1081 01:22:39,567 --> 01:22:40,442 Oh, my God! 1082 01:22:41,317 --> 01:22:44,109 Oh, my God! Don't hurt him 1083 01:22:44,275 --> 01:22:46,524 Please, for the love of God! 1084 01:23:10,358 --> 01:23:13,108 My condolences, Mrs. Dallas 1085 01:23:16,357 --> 01:23:19,232 Mine as well, he was such a kind man 1086 01:23:19,357 --> 01:23:23,190 — You know what to do, Mrs. Frautschi? — Of course, Mr. Kopf 1087 01:23:23,523 --> 01:23:26,564 Don't forget your Czechs, their accommodation is ready 1088 01:23:27,231 --> 01:23:28,814 Oh, my God, the Czechs 1089 01:23:29,106 --> 01:23:31,064 Yes, yes 1090 01:23:44,564 --> 01:23:47,356 He would've loved watching the fireworks 1091 01:23:52,897 --> 01:23:56,022 So, finally, your accommodation is ready 1092 01:23:56,147 --> 01:23:58,897 You will have clean sheets and mattresses, and it's warm 1093 01:23:59,064 --> 01:24:01,231 Thank you, Mr. Kopf, thank you! 1094 01:24:05,314 --> 01:24:08,022 We want to invite you to Ceské Budejovice 1095 01:24:08,814 --> 01:24:11,855 We have two rooms, you can have one all for yourself! 1096 01:24:13,521 --> 01:24:14,896 Thank you 1097 01:24:15,480 --> 01:24:16,313 Thank you 1098 01:24:16,896 --> 01:24:20,230 — What did you do? — We're so happy to see you again 1099 01:24:20,396 --> 01:24:21,980 Dr. Lima! 1100 01:24:22,105 --> 01:24:23,229 Look! 1101 01:24:23,854 --> 01:24:27,229 He's fixed them so much, he can‘t tell them apart 1102 01:24:30,395 --> 01:24:32,229 Happy New Year! 1103 01:24:34,229 --> 01:24:36,979 Did you see a little strange asshole come by here? 1104 01:24:37,104 --> 01:24:39,395 He had the same cone hat as you 1105 01:24:39,562 --> 01:24:42,062 He was with three beautiful Russians models 1106 01:24:43,229 --> 01:24:45,478 Happy New Year! 1107 01:24:47,394 --> 01:24:50,061 Okay, come, come, come 1108 01:24:50,228 --> 01:24:51,144 Please 1109 01:24:51,311 --> 01:24:53,394 Try that way! 1110 01:24:56,186 --> 01:24:57,436 Please, come this way 1111 01:25:17,269 --> 01:25:18,853 Mr. Crush! 1112 01:25:19,561 --> 01:25:21,894 He fainted with emotion! 1113 01:25:24,811 --> 01:25:26,894 Oh, shit, it's a heart attack! 1114 01:25:29,061 --> 01:25:30,436 Tonino, Tonino! 1115 01:25:31,478 --> 01:25:33,561 Olivia! Olivia, can you hear me? 1116 01:25:43,853 --> 01:25:46,269 Try mouth—to—mouth, I‘ll call an ambulance right away 1117 01:25:46,394 --> 01:25:49,061 — Mouth—to—mouth? — Yes, yes, do it! 1118 01:25:54,561 --> 01:25:55,893 Sorry! 1119 01:25:57,477 --> 01:25:59,393 Sorry, sorry, sorry 1120 01:26:01,477 --> 01:26:02,893 Sorry! 1121 01:26:04,143 --> 01:26:05,102 Ten! 1122 01:26:05,227 --> 01:26:06,268 Nine! 1123 01:26:06,435 --> 01:26:07,851 Eight! 1124 01:26:07,976 --> 01:26:09,226 Seven! 1125 01:26:09,351 --> 01:26:10,891 Six! 1126 01:26:11,058 --> 01:26:12,058 Five! 1127 01:26:12,225 --> 01:26:13,975 Four, three! 1128 01:26:14,141 --> 01:26:16,016 Two, one... 1129 01:26:16,141 --> 01:26:18,475 Happy New Year! 1130 01:26:24,391 --> 01:26:26,058 — Happy New Year! — Happy New Year 1131 01:26:30,933 --> 01:26:32,391 Happy New Year! 1132 01:26:34,891 --> 01:26:36,015 Happy New Year! 1133 01:26:36,140 --> 01:26:38,307 Happy New Year! 1134 01:27:20,015 --> 01:27:20,974 Tonino! 1135 01:27:28,057 --> 01:27:29,973 — Yes, boss? — Now! 1136 01:27:34,264 --> 01:27:36,931 — Y2K! — It's really happening 1137 01:27:37,098 --> 01:27:39,889 Nostradamus was right, this is the end of the world! 1138 01:27:41,556 --> 01:27:43,180 Oh, my God, it's happening! 1139 01:27:43,347 --> 01:27:46,888 What's happening? Look around, nothing‘s happening, they do this every year 1140 01:27:47,055 --> 01:27:49,888 Everything is gonna be fine, it's gonna be okay 1141 01:28:32,805 --> 01:28:35,388 Arthur, honeycakes! 1142 01:28:36,512 --> 01:28:38,929 Happy New Year! 1143 01:28:42,554 --> 01:28:44,971 We Survived Y2K! 1144 01:28:46,303 --> 01:28:48,219 Didn't I tell you it was only a hoax? 1145 01:28:48,385 --> 01:28:53,010 Happy New Year, Amanda, Arthur's really exhausted 1146 01:28:53,177 --> 01:28:54,927 Well, of course 1147 01:28:57,260 --> 01:28:59,176 Can you believe that? 1148 01:28:59,301 --> 01:29:01,550 Fucking broken—down old snob! 1149 01:29:01,883 --> 01:29:06,050 I gave him his first decent blowjob and he doesn't even look at me 1150 01:29:09,091 --> 01:29:12,257 My God, what money does to people! 1151 01:29:37,382 --> 01:29:39,257 Tonino, switch back on 1152 01:29:57,007 --> 01:29:58,549 Will Grandpa go to heaven? 1153 01:29:58,882 --> 01:30:00,882 Or to hell? 1154 01:30:01,549 --> 01:30:03,341 I don't know, girls 1155 01:30:14,049 --> 01:30:15,381 Help yourself 1156 01:30:18,381 --> 01:30:19,965 Just one 1157 01:30:25,131 --> 01:30:28,964 Listen, don't drink it all at once 1158 01:30:29,797 --> 01:30:32,505 Happy New Year, Mr. Ambassador 1159 01:30:32,839 --> 01:30:36,422 Same to you, Happy New Year! 1160 01:30:43,380 --> 01:30:46,380 Close that fucking door! What are you doing? 1161 01:31:20,172 --> 01:31:22,214 Shit! 1162 01:31:44,880 --> 01:31:46,380 Happy New Year, Mr. Kopf 1163 01:31:47,047 --> 01:31:48,255 Happy New Year 1164 01:31:52,339 --> 01:31:55,547 Do you have a spare key for the safe? 1165 01:31:56,547 --> 01:31:57,879 I already gave you the key 1166 01:31:58,046 --> 01:32:00,796 Yes, but do you have a spare? 1167 01:32:00,963 --> 01:32:02,921 No, there is no spare 1168 01:32:04,463 --> 01:32:07,546 Then you have a problem, Mr. Kopf, because our Ambassador 1169 01:32:07,879 --> 01:32:10,004 is locked inside your safe 1170 01:32:11,046 --> 01:32:12,878 I have a problem? 1171 01:32:14,545 --> 01:32:16,461 You have a problem, huh? 1172 01:32:20,126 --> 01:32:22,835 Maybe? Maybe 1173 01:32:24,043 --> 01:32:25,085 Happy New Year 1174 01:32:26,126 --> 01:32:27,460 Happy New Year 1175 01:32:29,543 --> 01:32:30,918 Fuck 1176 01:33:26,043 --> 01:33:28,210 I came to repair drain 1177 01:34:02,960 --> 01:34:04,335 Thank you so much 1178 01:34:05,001 --> 01:34:06,917 That was... 1179 01:34:07,042 --> 01:34:11,000 the best New Year's party I've ever had 1180 01:34:17,083 --> 01:34:18,458 — Have a great evening — Yeah 1181 01:34:18,791 --> 01:34:19,541 Happy New Year 1182 01:40:45,791 --> 01:40:49,083 Subtitles: Laser S. Film s.r.l. — Rome 80434

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