All language subtitles for The Last Year of Darkness (2023)

[Ethereal melody;
Soothing, bell-like percussion]

[Delicate violin plucking]

[Sustained, warm
violin tone joins]

[Music fades]

[Rumble]

[Water splashes;
Birds squawk]

[Low, continuous rumble]

THE LAST YEAR OF DARKNESS

[Switch clicks, electricity buzzes]

[Loud dance music, on speakers]

[Dance music continues, muffled;
People chatter]

[Horns honk]

[Dance music continues]

[Grunts]

[Chatting, indistinct]

It's here.

[Truck horn honks]

[Dance music continues]

[Beeping]

Welcome to Chengdu!

[People cheer]

[Man calls] Beautiful!

[Laughter]

I'm so happy, this is my first time
doing drag at Funky Town!

[Woman] I feel like I reached
the climax of my life.

[Exclaims]

[Belches]

[Dance music continues]

[Music continues, muffled]

[Muffled dance music]

LOVE

[Sighs]

[Radio chatter]

[Driver] You scared
the first few cabbies. [Laughs]

Yeah, neither of them
dared to pick me up.

[Driver] I saw their fear. [Laughs]

What's the matter? We're all people.

[Driver] It's all the makeup
you've got on. [Chuckles]

[Exclaims softly]

[Hisses]

[Meter whirring]

[Soft, slow music]

[Passer by 1] Oh fuck, wow!

[Passer by 2] Wow!

[Passer by 1] Thanks
for working so hard Auntie!

Did the other Auntie come last night?

She came, but she left early.

We just finished here.

Just closed.

It's so dirty.

She didn't even tell us when she left.

The other Auntie
didn't tell us she was leaving.

We sent her a message,
and she didn't respond.

It's usually this bad if it closes late.

- You just closed, right?
- We closed just a minute ago.

It's usually this dirty if it closes late.

We just finished eating.

After we closed, we went
and got some noodles.

Business was good last night.

Yeah.

Let's go.

Thanks, Auntie!

Bye.

[Heavy machinery whirs]

[Cheerful music on speakers]

[Sighs]

[Clock chimes]

[Soft rock music, on speakers]

Hey, excuse me, Auntie.

Do you know anywhere nearby
that can fix electric bikes?

Electric bikes.

- A place that sells electric bikes?
- Repairs electric bikes.

A place that repairs electric bikes...

Somewhere over there?

I don't think there are any around here.

Maybe a little way up there past the
Number Six Bridge.

That way?

- Do you know that bridge?
- No, I don't.

It's a little past
the foreign language school that way.

Straight that way?

There is a repair shop past the school.

OK.

Got it, thanks!

There isn't one here.

OK.

- ELECTRIC BIKE REPAIR SPECIALIST
- [Banging]

Hey, I managed
to push my bike over here.

That screw is missing.

It's dangerous to be missing a screw.

I don't know what the deal is,
my friend just gave me the bike.

You ride it just for fun?

Yeah, I took it because it was free.

He bought a new bike.

- You're not one of us, Sichuanese?
- No, I'm not.

- Where you from?
- Inner Mongolia.

- Inner Mongolia?
- Yep.

- The air is fresh there.
- Sure is.

[They chat]

[Biker] It's ready?

[Mechanic] It's ready!

[Biker] I'll pay you through Wechat.

[Chiming]

[Horns honk]

[Bell rings]

[Biker] Yeah, the gate is closed.

[Gate clicks]

Oh, it's open.

Sure, so I should just leave it
in front of your door?

In front of your door. All right.

- [Metal clangs]
- [Man] Hey!

Yo!

Get back here!

Get off your bike.

[Biker] What's wrong?

[Man] Don't you know how to drive?

Get over here, and look at what you did.

What are you doing driving so fast?

What happened?

- Where?
- Look, you scratched my car!

- Where? You call that a scratch?
- Yeah.

Are you sure it was
me who scratched it?

You just drove by,
the mark is right there.

Brand new car.

Why would you park somewhere so dark?

- I'm already late on this order.
- [Phone rings]

- Of course I need to drive fast.
- That has nothing to do with me.

He just keeps calling me.

You shouldn't drive so fast.

If I went any slower
this order would get cancelled,

and they would dock my pay!

What the hell does that
have to do with me?

Then, fuck...

- What should we do from here?
- Pay me for the damage.

Pay you how much?

Give me 1500 yuan.

- 1500 yuan?
- Yes.

- 1500 yuan for this?
- You scratched my car.

Fuck, you're really trying
to take advantage of me.

How is this
trying to take advantage of you?

I can't believe this. Fuck.

It was you who scratched my car.

You shouldn't have parked
in such a dark place.

I'm just parked on the side of the road.

Fuck!

I'm not blowing this out of proportion.

- I don't have 1500 yuan now.
- Figure it out.

Figure it out? Can't you see I'm trying
to make money by delivering food?

I haven't even earned 1500 yuan yet.

I don't care, that's your problem.

Don't you have friends? Ask for help!

Who am I going to borrow money
from at this hour?

That's none of my business.

Fuck.

[Horns honk]

[Slow, melancholic music]

So fucking dumb.

[Machinery whirring]

[Dance music and
traditional music overlap]

[Playing soft, emotional music]

I really pay attention
to those aspects when I play.

It totally relies on your personal...

You have to rely on your ears
and your instincts.

Yeah, your instincts.

And your ears.

Music relies so much on instinct.

I'm not formally trained.

So did you think my music
sounded good tonight?

- It sounded great!
- Really?

You're not just saying that
'cause you love me,

think everything I do
is perfect, right?

Here, turn here.

[Woman] Do you need a spanking?

[Man] You need a spanking.

[Woman] Do you need a spanking?

[Man] You need a spanking.

[Woman] You never compliment me,
am I pretty?

[Man] Time to go to bed.

- [Woman] Am I good-looking?
- Of course.

[Woman] You're lying.

- [Woman] Am I pretty?
- You are.

[Woman] Don't lie to me.

[Man] It's you who is lying to me.

[Woman] What do you mean
it's me lying to you?

[She moans, cat meows]

[She exclaims, cat meows]

[Man] He's got a bad temper.

[Man] A cat with a bad temper.

[Woman] I think he's a psycho.

I think he's the least fun cat
in the whole wide world.

[Man] Right.

Oh, my God!

[Woman] Just comment on it,
so everyone can see.

[Man] What should I say?

[Woman] You could say...

Like, I miss my baby,
something like that.

Right?

[Man] That's pretty sappy.

[Woman] But that's exactly what I want.

Is that not okay?

Why can't you say I'm your baby?

[Man] What?

[Cat meows]

Hey, what should I do
with my contact lenses?

Put them here.

Oh, I'll put them in that tray
since I didn't bring the container.

Go wash it first.

[She laughs]

Come on.

- I can't get up.
- You do it.

I'm so tired.

[He scoffs]

Acting like you're dead.

[She whispers] Do you need to be spanked?

[He exhales sharply]

[Dance music, on speakers]

Hello!

Hello.

[Dance music, on speakers]

[Rapid clicks]

[Groans]

[Dance music continues, on phone speakers]

[Chatter]

[I’ll Never Love This Way Again
by Dionne Warwick plays on radio]

[Chatter, on video]

[Whirring, banging]

[Muffled dance music]

[Music volume increases]

[People cheer]

Can you top it up with more alcohol?

- More alcohol?
- Yeah.

Let's drink together.

OK, OK.

Cheers.

[In English] I watched all
of your Instagram after I added you.

I showed my friends, and they were like,
"Wow, that makeup is perfect!"

Wow.

[In English] You smell so good.

Me? Because my perfume is Dior perfume.

It's Dior perfume?

Sorry, excuse me handsome.
Excuse me sexy.

Cheers.

Oh God, you're sexy as well.
Look at that hair, man.

There's double sexy here.

Double sexy, yeah 100%.

- Where you from?
- Russian.

Oh, very sexy.

Cheers, man, cheers.

[People chatter lively]

So, you are straight, right?

- Huh?
- You are straight?

I'm not sure yet.

OK.

Still young, still cannot figure it out.

- [In English] It's worth it.
- [Muffled dance music]

Because once you...

Once you did that, once you make it,

And you'll feel you are
growing up more, right?

You feel like you're challenging
something, from yourself...

Well, I mean, like--

Like maybe from your soul or something...

Yeah.

Like in your own inner self
or something. But...

Well, like...

I find like, everything, so...

You know, like, meditating,
I find it like extremely difficult.

Just because like, yeah,

I'm in my head like,
regularly, all the time.

And like, you know, like...

I know that it's like,
living in the present is like,

it's generally like,
well, I mean, like...

- It begets happiness.
- Yeah.

It's just very difficult.

But like, you know, with meditation
is one of those things that's like...

It strengthens that skill.

So like...

I don't know, I mean, but...

I try to do it more,
but I find it very tiring.

I know the feeling.

[Dance music;
People cheer]

Hey, drink this.

Are you OK?

[Laughs] I'm not... OK.

Are you drunk?

- What?
- Are you drunk?

What?

[In English] Drink, drink a lot.

Yeah.

OK. Just get this one, get sober.

[They exclaim, laugh]

We should light up the toothpicks.

Sweet, sweet love.

- So, I think everything is predestined.
- [Heavy machinery rattling]

And at the same time,
you can change things slowly.

You need to change.
I don't believe in destiny.

There are so many
hot girls at Funky Town.

You have your path,
but there are some obstacles...

Too many, I can't handle it.

Exactly, because what is this?

It's cause and effect.
I believe in this.

Exactly, there's a cycle.

When you are doing good things,

life pushes you
in a good direction.

And when you do bad things,

life pushes you in a bad direction.

That's super important.

Too deep bro, what the fuck
are you even talking about?

[Muffled dance music]

[Distant chatter]

[In English] Just hug me.

Just hug me.

Is Yihao okay?

I will take him to his house.

- OK.
- He's drunk.

Yes, yes, yes.

[Yihao grunts]

- [In English] God.
- It's all right, it's all right.

You just hold me tight,
hold me tight.

[Retching]

If you wanna puke, just puke.

Just puke my bro.

Just let it out.

Good now?

OK.

If you feel

if you feel you want to puke again,
just let me know

and we're going to
lean down to the corner.

It's raining.

It's alright, it's alright.
It's refreshing, refreshing.

Sober you up.

- [Machinery rattling]
- Whoops!

Watch out.

Watch out, it's slippery.

Five more minutes.

I smell like shit,
you smell so good.

- Really?
- No, you smell good too.

Come on.

God, it's so disgusting.

Nah, you just got drunk.

It's all good.

Thanks.

Be careful, watch the step.

This one, right?

Which floor?

You take care of yourself, alright?
And sleep well.

- Drink more water, OK?
- Uh huh.

- I will.
- And sleep well.

And I will see you later, alright?
OK, bye-bye.

- Thank you.
- Thank you too.

[Yihao moans]

It was a wonderful night
to hang out together.

OK, go home.

Let me help you with that.

Turn... right.

Let me get your key.

Hold this.

- Don't lose it.
- I won't.

- Have a good sleep.
- You too.

Have a good sleep. Good night.

Bye.

[Crowd roar;
Low hum]

[Woman] When did you notice that
you were changing mentally,

and that you can't take it anymore?

I think it must be within
the past two years.

Because before that, my heart just felt

a little bit confused and unhappy.

I got sadder and sadder.

Then I sent a message to my mom saying

"I feel that maybe I haven't been
what you hoped I would be,

or the daughter you want me to be."
I sent that to her.

Then I sent something like that
to my best friend.

Then I thought, I'll round up
all the pills in my house and take them.

I thought that would have been
more or less effective.

Then they must have detected
something odd about these texts.

Then my friends...

Here comes the funny part.

My friends called 120
for a medical emergency.

What he told them was,
"My friend just came back from Thailand,

"She's in quarantine
and is trying to kill herself.

"So please go save her.”

But the people from
the hospital heard it as

"My friend just came back from Thailand.
She is in quarantine.

But she's infected with the virus,
so she wants to kill herself."

So when they showed up
I was completely baffled.

Just in time, my friend also rushed over
and knocked on the door.

And when I opened the door, there was
a bunch of people in HAZMAT suits.

I was thinking what's going on?
What's this all about?

The funniest thing was,
the guy in the HAZMAT suit,

he was speaking Korean to me.

He thought I was Korean.

Did that incident become an opportunity
for people to suggest therapy to you?

Yes. Once I sobered up,
I saw the bowl I'd thrown up into.

I really did eat a lot of pills,

dot-dot-dot-dot,
little white capsules everywhere.

[Heavy machinery rattling]

[Wuthering Heights, by Kate Bush,
plays on speakers]

[Dance music]

[Woman, in English]
Can I tell you a secret?

It's like, every time Darkle plays music,
he's just smoking every time.

- Keep smoking, keep smoking.
- That's what I do.

That's what I do when I DJ.

Darkle got his nails painted.

[Muffled music;
Distant chatter]

[In English] Oh, you also did nails?

Yeah, last time I saw you.

- You saw me doing nails?
- Yeah in Funky Town.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Kimberly helped me with this.
- That's lovely.

- I also do nails all the time.
- The nail polish, black one.

So what's the party?
What is the party tonight?

The party is called the LGBT Road.

So it's all the gay DJ's.

I'm one of them, of course.

And yeah, it's my first time,
my first time to try the house music.

Do you like it?

Of course I like it!

- House hero!
- You know what I like.

Yeah.

What do you want to talk to me?

Nothing, we can just chill.
You can just--

[Dance music]

[Music rhythm intensifies]

[Laughter]

I'm aiming forwards.

How come you hit
the shuttlecock this way again?

Get your eyes checked!

When I was in school,
if I wanted to skip class,

Or if I wanted to go to an internet cafe
in the middle of the night,

I would go from here.

I'll show you.

It's...

Like this.

[Hums] If I were a boy

I would...

I'd roll out of bed in the morning

And throw on what I wanted and to go

Drink beer with the guys

And chase after girls

I'd then kiss with who I wanted

And I'd never get confronted for it

Not just this room.

All the places I can see from this window.

Every nook and cranny
is a story from the past.

I remember my first
time having sex was

on top of the building
across the street.

When I was seven.

Well, that wasn't real sex.

That was the first time I was...

Molested by a guy.

There are many roads to the school.

Really fun.

That elementary school...

[Soft, melancholic music]

Repeat after me.

- Dad.
- Dad.

- Mom.
- Mom.

- Run.
- Run.

- Dad.
- Dad.

- Mom.
- Mom.

Your pronunciation goes like
"The tones are the most difficult,"

but it's wrong.

Say it like this,
"The tones are the most difficult."

The tones are the most difficult.

Most difficult.

The most "difficult".

"Difficult" should be pronounced
in the second tone.

- Follow me: "Difficult".
- I don't understand the second tone.

"Difficult".

No worries if you don't understand
the second tone, let's just go up.

See, it's like a plane.

- "Difficult".
- "Difficult".

Great, say with me.

Coming through, coming through,
coming through!

[Honking]

Bye bye.

[Snorts]

[Soft, ethereal music]

- [Hip hop music on speakers]
- [Scratching]

Wow, so sick.

I'm going to hit the toilet, oh fuck!

We're always down-hill pig
and up-hill pig.

Up-hill pig and down-hill pig.

What am I doing?

Fuck, we're out of water.

- We have some Coke.
- Well, we'll just be parched then.

This Coke has already fucking
been here for...

Seven days.

[Grunting, chuckling]

[Exclaiming playfully]

I miss my little old bed.

Fuck!

Why does my blanket smell like dirty feet?

It's actually your own feet that smell,
but you don't realize it.

You probably have
your blanket upside down.

- That's impossible.
- Really.

It's definitely upside down.

- Definitely.
- Definitely not.

Fuck, my feet don't smell,
and neither do Bowie's.

If any of us had stinky feet,
this room would be impossible to sleep in.

Right.

Good night.

[Hip hop music on speakers]

Fuck.

What's up? [Chuckles]

My dude.

- [Music stops]
- What happened?

What happened?

Power outage?

Go take a look.

Look outside.

Don't tell me it's a power outage.

Fuck. It seems like
the neighbors have electricity.

Then it's not a power outage.

No one paid the electricity bill?

- Didn't you pay this month?
- I didn't pay this month.

Fuck! I pay you money
for the bills every month.

You have to pay!

But I always gave you money to pay.
We both agreed on it.

Well at that time I couldn't pay.

Fuck, I don't have any money either.

Last show we did you
didn't even pay me.

You have to pay!

I don't have any money,
you owe me money!

- Well fuck, what are you getting at?
- I didn't mean anything by it.

- Fuck, what's wrong with you?
- Fuck!

[Grunting]

- Fuck!
- [Shatters]

Didn't I give you money?

You still owe me money!

What are you going to do about it?

Fuck!

Asshole!

Fuck!

Fuck!

What are you doing?

647?

Where are you going?

I can't believe him.

I don't even know what I'm doing here.

Why are you packing?
Where are you going?

Fuck! I can't stand living here anymore.

- This shit happens every day.
- Ah, it's just some trivial bullshit.

You don't have to leave.

I'm leaving.

Wait, take your shoes!

Fuck your mom!

- [Hip hop music on speakers]
- [MC] Mic check, mic check.

I'm looking for a choice at this moment.

I'm here

To represent the life
Of ordinary people in Beijing.

I am here to tell you.

That life is not so fucking easy,
In so many fucking ways.

You find everything depressing.

You realize all your memories are changed.

Looks like they've got
All the right connections.

Fuck, you realize it's all just them...

They just throw it over there...

Just a follower...

You're upset, but don't worry about it.

At this moment it's just after midnight.

It's just that deep in the night.

What are you doing?
Why not have a drink?

Are you drooling? No way.

[Woman moans, yelps]

[Melancholic music]

[Melancholic music continues;
Muffled dance music overlaps]

[Music continues;
PA announcement, indistinct]

Have you developed any spots on your skin?

- Has there been any reaction?
- No.

[People chatter]

[Insects buzz]

[Yihao hums]

What's your name?

- What's your name?
- What's yours?

I don't know you.

I want to know your name.

I don't know you.

I know you. But what's your name?

My name is Kai Yang.

You are Yihao Yang.

Am I right?

You really didn't know my name?

I do.

No, you didn't.
Stinky bitch.

[Chuckles] I'll strangle you.

Fuck off.

[Yihao chuckles]

I don't love you anymore.
Starting from this moment.

Really.

[Humming]

Riding a bicycle.

Wow.

So beautiful.

[Yihao] I don't want to leave again.

Yeah.

[Yihao] Living in Chengdu is so chill.

[Yihao] Let's open a shop in Chengdu.

What kind of shop?

One that sells ass?

[Yihao] Let's open a manicure salon.

[Laughter]

It's so hot.

It's so cold.

Quick, pass me the lighter.

I thought you didn't smoke anymore?

I don't.

I just asked you for one,
and you didn't give it to me.

When we squat,
we're just like Chengdu locals.

Yeah, we have to smoke
when we're outside.

Yeah, like we're
total badasses. [Chuckles]

Yeah.

[Dance music on speakers]

[Woman] You can't
get rid of this tattoo now?

[Yihao] I can't.

[Woman] What's the point of painting
your clean skin with such things?

[Yihao] Wang and Zhang got tattoos too.

[Woman] I know that Zhang
got one here, and there.

How did they draw that on there?

[Yihao] I don't have any idea how
they drew it on there either. [Chuckles]

[Woman] The tattoo on your neck
doesn't look very good.

[Yihao] Don't worry about it.

[Woman] Your hair only grows at the back?

[Yihao] Yes, just the back.

- [People chatter]
- Do you regret dropping out of school?

What?

You never graduated,
do you regret it?

No.

I feel good about myself now.

You never focused on your studies.

But if you feel good about yourself,
it's fine.

[She clears throat]

[Lively chatter]

- How tall is Yihao?
- Maybe 169cm.

[Yihao] One centimeter short.

You're just a little short.

You might grow a bit
after getting married.

[Yihao] Why would I
get taller after marrying?

You could wear insoles.

- After getting married...
- [Yihao] By wearing insoles?

After marriage, men usually
grow horizontally! The belly gets big.

[Yihao laughs] Then I will look
even shorter.

Do you have a girlfriend?

- No, no.
- No?

Isn't she...?

[Yihao] No, no. They're all from work.

- OK, coworkers.
- Right.

If you meet someone like-minded,
you should get right in there.

- How old are you?
- [Yihao] 20.

20 years old?

Turned 20.

It is not easy for someone
to carve out their own life.

I'm not in a hurry to make
a lot of money now.

And I'm not in a
hurry to be successful.

I just want to be a little happier,
a little more comfortable.

Doing what I like
is the most important thing to me.

[Uptempo pop music;
People cheer]

[Applause, people whooping]

[Person in crowd] Yihao!

Give him a round of applause.

[Dance music]

[In English] Like this, like this.

Hey, you've got something on your nose.

A little bit of toilet paper.

That's okay, never mind.

Come on, you're like his boyfriend.

No no, I got to take care of my boy,
you know?

[She laughs] Come on.

[Horn honks insistently]

So polite.

I got you, my boy.

[Lively chatter]

[Glasses clink]

[Machine hissing;
Muffled music]

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

Be careful.

He can't control himself.

You want some more?

Who wants it?

Relax, relax.

[Thunder rumbles]

[Delicate music]

[Rain trickles outside]

[Heavy machinery rattling;
Muffled dance music]

[Horns honk]

[Loud whirring]

It's like my childhood, fuck.

When I was a child...

At first I hated my Dad so much.

I thought that he was no good,
that he was inept.

I thought, "Why am I his son?"

Later, when I lived with my Dad,
I started hating my Mom.

I didn't understand why she was like that.

But now...

I went through my saved chats
and found something my Dad sent me.

He said, "Don't expect
too much from me.

"I'm just the first person
you met in this world.

"I'm just the first person
to have any connection to you.

I'm also just an ordinary person."

I used to think,
why is my family like this?

Why are my parents like this?

Why do I have to go through
all these painful things?

But later I realized that all these
experiences are actually really precious.

Really beautiful.

Every time life makes you suffer,
makes you feel lost or desperate...

Life is forcing you to grow.

Life is giving you
some special strength.

Life's letting you know,

or actually it's making you feel,
just how painful everything can be.

[Construction work rattle]

[Darkle, voice over] How do you
usually moan in bed?

Let me hear your moan.

- Tell me!
- I don't want to tell you.

Do you want to know how I moan?

- I don't want to know.
- It's like this…

[Mocks moan]

Oh, my God.

But that's short.

Usually I would keep moaning like that.

You can say, me so horny.

But you're always horny 24/7.

Oh my God.

[In English] I don't care.

I'm really happy you're here
with me still, you know.

- Me too! Yeah.
- But are you good, are you OK?

No no no, I told you, today...

- But your health problem? Like fixed?
- No, I told you.

Today, I'm not busy, I'm not tired.

It's all for you.

- Oh, my God.
- Yeah.

Yeah, that's the best promise.

Because I know you're going
to play tomorrow at Funky Town.

For the three years anniversary.

Rave, and Drum & Bass.

[Dance music, muffled;
Lively chatter]

[Music volume increases]

[Dance music fades;
Ethereal melody]

[Dance music volume increases]

Come with me, come with me.

[In English] I'm so fucked.

- I drank four shots when I came to TAG.
- With Summer?

Yeah, with Summer.

She was talking to me with
some really deep conversations.

And I...

I treated her to some really...

[Kimberly] I bet it's fucking...

It's fucking, like a relationship
things calling me.

Yeah.

OK, just leave yourself alone.

I just wanna enjoy my life.

[Darkle] Hm-hm.

[Kimberly] I will turn off my phone

to the...

[In Mandarin] How do you say
'airplane mode' in English?

[In English] Plane mode.

Plane mode, yeah.

Because in this way,
Xiao Long can never text me.

Oh, my God.

[Laughter]

You are jumping, yeah.

Are you coming or not?

You can get out of the cab!

You can get out of the car, can't you?

I can hardly speak right now.

My throat hurts. I can't talk.

Yeah, but is it all right
if you get out of the cab?

Yes, just get out of the cab.

Fuck, fuck you!

Are you bisexual?

I'm not, I'm gay.

- You're gay?
- Super gay.

I am bisexual.

No way.

I think this city, this city
amongst China

that accepts the most bisexual people.

No way.

[Uptempo dance music;
People cheer]

[Kimberly, in English]
I don't want to go home.

- I want to stay with my friends.
- [Man] I know, I know.

I want to talk to you.

[In Mandarin] But I didn't ignore you
or anything like that.

[Boyfriend] But I felt...

You'd rather leave than talk to me.

[Kimberly] That's what you think.
That's not what happened.

- But...
- I'm already so drunk right now.

Why don't you consider my feelings?

You can't try to understand
how I feel?

[Boyfriend] So you are
asking me to leave, right?

[Kimberly] No. Why can't you
consider my feelings?

- What are your feelings then?
- Can't you have fun here with me?

- But you ignored me.
- Can't you just hang out with me?

I hang out with you and your friends,
why can't you do the same for me?

You're not hugging me just
because they're filming, right?

No.

I'm here because I was
worried about you.

I came here because
I was worried about you.

But look at how you treated me
when I got here.

[Boyfriend] Am I right?

Why can't you go with me?

I want to go home and sleep.
I don't want to go.

If you want to go,
just go have fun with them.

I'll go home and wait for you.

Don't you want to watch
the sunrise with me?

I don't because
I want to go home and sleep.

[In English] That's why we're different.

What'd you say?

Nothing.

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Do you want to eat some Zhong Zhong
noodles before we head home?

Don't I have a name?

I don't know what you
want me to call you.

- Let's eat some Zhong Zhong noodles.
- I don't want to.

- Really?
- Let's not eat.

[Soft chatter]

[Kimberly] Let's watch the sunrise
together, how's that sound?

We haven't watched it together before.

Are you angry?

I'm not angry,
what's there to be angry about?

Don't be angry.

I just want you to be a part
of my friend group for a bit.

[Faint pop music]

Hey.

We're here now, can't you just
enjoy watching the sunrise with me?

I'm watching it.

Are you? Why are
you doing this to me?

I could just jump from here.
Do you believe me?

Do you believe me?

If you don't talk to me, I'll do it.

What do you mean?

- If you don't speak to me...
- What do you mean?

- Because you are not talking to me.
- So you really mean it?

You're forcing me!

I told you how I felt,
I told you the best I could.

I asked you to watch the sunrise
with me nicely. But you won't.

Have you spoken nicely to me
at all tonight?

And now you're doing
this shit again?

- This again?
- No.

- You want to do this again?
- No, I'm asking you.

Because you acted like you don't care.

I can't even speak, and now you're going
to treat me like this?

I don't want to talk with you.

So, why did you
talk to me like that?

Why?

I told you, "Let's enjoy
the sunrise together" right?

I wanted to have fun with you, okay?

Have you said a single
nice thing to me all night?

Didn't I talk to you nicely?

- Did you?
- Did I not?

What was up with your
attitude when I called you?

What a shitty attitude!

Why were you screaming? Who are you?

What do you think I am?

What am I to you?

Fine, I apologize.

I was too drunk,
and I wasn't feeling well.

You are always like this
when you're drunk.

I apologize.

I apologize.

I can hardly speak,
but I apologize. OK?

- Do I apologize to you like this?
- I apologize, I'm sorry.

All right?

Is that enough?

I don't want to talk.
I really don't want to talk.

Whatever then.

Really...

[Birds chirp]

[Faint chatter]

[Soft chatter]

[Insects and birds chirp]

No!

[In English] I just want to go there
to watch the view!

What the fuck are you doing?

- Time to go home.
- I just want to watch the view.

[Kimberly] I just want to see the view.

I just want to see the view, fuck!

Oh fuck!

Hey Kimberly, Kimberly.

I just want to see the fucking view!

Stop that, get away from the edge guys.
Get away from the edge.

Fuck off!

Come here.

Calm down.

I just want to see the view.
Why?

Calm down. Take it easy.

It's dangerous up here.

No, I just want to see the view.

Why are you fucking--
really serious to me?

I just want to see the view.

- Come here.
- Why are you fucking so serious to me?

- Come here, Kimberly.
- Fuck off!

I think you should get down.

No, no, no, no.

Otherwise the security guards
will come up and we'll all get busted.

- Kimberly, calm down.
- Are you satisfied?

I'll take my bag. I'm going home.

I'm going home. I am going home!

I'll get it for you.

[Darkle, voice over]
"Darkle, I can't do anything.

"I'm lying on the bed now
and can't do anything.

"I don't want to eat,
and I can't sleep either.

"It's so painful."

Then she said...

"I promised Snow, Lindsay
and Mia the other day,

"that I won't hurt myself.

"I didn't mean to scare you
by not replying to your text.

"It's just because
I can't do anything."

And I texted her...

Because I really thought at that time
she was mentally unwell.

She was in such a dark place,
and no one could drag her out of it.

I told her I thought
she should see a therapist.

I said it would definitely help her.

No one else can help her
when she's in that state of mind.

A therapist could possibly help.

[Continues, in English]
And she just started to text me.

"Darkle, I have so many
words I want to tell you.

"Since I was a child,
I don't have friends who likes me.

"Like it seems like
everyone think I'm not good

"and trying to keep me in a distance.

"And... until I met you guys."

[Sighs]

[Soft, melancholic music]

[Music fades]

Get up, come on.

Up, up, up.

Get up.

Get up.

Get up!

Come on, get up.

Let's go, time to hit the streets.
Come on.

Get up. Come on, up up up.

Get up. Up up.

Get up!

Up, get up!

Get up. Fine, I'm leaving.

[Kimberly, voice over] It's like...

Like two voices inside you

fighting each other.

It scared my friends.

I can feel my friends' care
and love and all that.

But personally, I believe I need to
overcome this struggle by myself.

You know?

It's my own challenges.

This is my own battle.

[Distant, muffled dance music;
Machinery whirring]

Sometimes I just don't know why...

I don't know why I perform.

I often feel like a...

A failed middle school student.
A little punk.

I don't even know
why I want to do this.

I don't know why I do drag.

Why do I do this?

I don't even like it.
Why do I keep doing it?

I don't even like
seeing myself as a girl or...

I really hate it.

Every time I finish a show,
I feel exhausted.

So exhausted.

[Sobs]

I don't think anything
will come of this.

But still I keep doing it.

Doing drag will give you AIDS,

which will make
your life miserable.

It will alienate you from your family

and people around you
will not support you.

Ben, I don't think
your documentary can record...

Me, or anyone's real life.

I think real life is something
you need to feel for yourself.

There can't be any editing
or dressing it up.

That's what shakes people.

It's not political. Nothing.

It's a natural state of being.

[Mellow music on phone speakers]

[Woman speaks on video, indistinct]

...ladies and gentlemen, please
welcome to the stage my good friend

David Bowie!

[Crowd cheers, applauds]

[Life on Mars?, by David Bowie
plays on video]

- [Mouthing]
- ♪ It's a God-awful small affair ♪

♪ To the girl with the mousy hair ♪

♪ And her mummy is yelling, "No" ♪

♪ And her daddy has told her to go ♪

♪ But her friend is nowhere to be seen ♪

♪ Now she walks through her sunken dream ♪

♪ To the seat with the clearest view ♪

♪ And she's hooked to the silver screen ♪

♪ But the film is a saddening bore ♪

♪ 'Cause she's lived
it ten times or more ♪

♪ It's about to be lived again ♪

♪ As they ask her to focus on ♪

♪ Sailors fighting in the dance hall ♪

♪ Oh man, look at those cavemen go ♪

♪ It's the freakiest show ♪

♪ Take a look at the lawman ♪

♪ Beating up the wrong guy ♪

♪ Oh man, wonder if he'll ever know ♪

♪ He's in the best selling show ♪

♪ Is there life on Mars? ♪

[Crowd applauds]

Let's dance.

You need to teach me how to House music.

Let them film.

Teach me.

This one you must know.

'To leave.'

It's 'to walk.'

Zou as in 'to walk.'

It's not 'chu' it's 'zou.'

[Music continues]

Why do we have five fingers
instead of six?

Fuck, dude!

Why...

Why am I a person
instead of a brick, a lamp

a flower, a straw
of grass, or a tree?

There's a reason.

This...

This world, this universe
made you a person,

And made you have all these feelings...

So that way you feel,
instead of pursuing strange things.

So please believe me.

Believe this world.

♪ It's on America's tortured brow ♪

Do you want a cigarette?

♪ That Mickey Mouse has grown up a cow ♪

[Kimberly] Whenever I see
the sunrise I want to cry.

I remember how beautiful life is.

[In English] I can see your underwear
from here, Kimberly.

- It's not underwear, I'm on my period.
- OK.

♪ From Ibiza to the Norfolk Broads ♪

♪ Rule Britannia is out of bounds ♪

I feel grateful, I suck a lot of dicks
in my life, yeah.

I couldn't even count, you know.

I couldn't even count it,
you know.

♪ 'Cause I wrote it ten times or more ♪

♪ It's about to be writ again ♪

♪ As I ask you to focus on ♪

♪ Sailors fighting in the dance hall ♪

♪ Oh man, look at those cavemen go ♪

[Music volume increases]

♪ It's the freakiest show ♪

♪ Take a look at the lawman ♪

♪ Beating up the wrong guy ♪

♪ Oh man, wonder if he'll ever know ♪

♪ He's in the best selling show ♪

♪ Is there life on Mars? ♪

[Crowd roars]

[Music and crowd roar fade]

[Distorted, low hum]

[Chatter;
Beeping]

[Whirring]

How are we going
to get all this out of here?

We might have to bust the door.

[Muffled dance music]

[Music rises]