All language subtitles for So.Help.Me.Todd.S02E06.2160p.WEB.H265-SuccessfulCrab_eng

Previously on So Help Me Todd...
Chet and I are

having another...
Baby.

A baby!

Patty, you are on a date
with a murderer.

Again?

I rest my case.

All right, thank you. Bailiff?

If you would escort the jurors
to the deliberation room.

We appreciate your time
on this case, thank you.

It looks like closing testimony
wrapped at 4:47...

Gillian, this is the hard part--

the waiting-- but you were brave

and articulate, and
we have a good chance.

Thank you,
everyone else,

thank you all.

This concludes the
final day on this case.

My whole life is
in those 12 people's hands.

But the jury's deliberations
have just begun.

You got to choose, every second

of every day, to be a detective.

You got to think
about how you spend your time,

how you live your damn life...

Hey, Todd.
Hey.

You going home?
Uh...

What are you doing tonight?

There is a fireworks
thing at Oaks Park.

Uh, yeah, sorry.

I actually got
a big family dinner, so...

Oh, well, maybe
this weekend?

Laser Floyd in the
OMSI Planetarium.

Uh, no... no.

No can do.
I'm just focusing on work.

Zeroing in on some career goals.

Oh, right,
"Portland's number one P.I."

Yeah, I saw your flyer.

In the trash can
at the Rose Gardens.

Anyway,
thank you for the invite.

Yeah.
Uh, another time.

Maybe or...
Okay.

...maybe not.

- There can be no distractions.
- Yeah.

No distractions.
All right, bye.

It was a nice cross
with the dean.

Thanks. Strong closing remarks.

Yeah, but
was it enough?

Which way do you
think they'll go?

I don't know.
Your client is sympathetic.

But I think I have
stronger evidence.

Could go either way.

Maybe.

You know he came
to me first?

I know.

And I'm surprised
you didn't take him on.

Well, I didn't like him.

He's got deep pockets.

If what I'm hearing
about your firm is true.

Mm-hmm.

I guess my pesky morals
got in the way again.

And Gillian, oh.

I felt really strongly
about her case.

Mm, I've had those moments, too.

You have a good night.

You, too, Dorothy.
Mm-hmm.

Hello?

Are you Margaret Wright?
Yes.

I... I'm here to testify.

I'll do it.

Testify for what?

Who are you?

I got your letter.

About the Oregon City College
case.

And I'll do it.
Gillian's case?

But the-the trial is over.

We're done, we-we just finished.
The jury is...

Okay, all right.

Okay, um...

Wait, wait, wait.
What is your name?

When did you get my letter?

Um, no. No, no, no.
No, never mind. Thank you, no.

It was the strangest thing.

And I have no idea who she was.

But do you think she has
any information about the case?

Well, e-even if she does,
it's-it's too late.

The jury is
in deliberations now.

And it's practically impossible
to reopen a trial.

Sorry, this is
the college defamation case

with the gross professor?

Yeah, he offered her
an internship in exchange

for, um, inappropriate favors.

Quid pro gross.

She reported the incident

and no one believed her,
of course.

So she bravely
called him out on TikTok,

and now he's suing her

for defamation.
I mean, it's just,

- it's awful.
- Oh, I don't know.

I wouldn't say
that TikTok is awful.

I just opened my own account,

PattyJam6005-lowercase-B.

And what I'm seeing,

on all my little
feeding streams,

is one video of one woman

making one ham sandwich.

Is that all TikTok is?

No, I think it's just more

of one section of TikTok.

And I heard
that the college

barely investigated
her claims.

They just tried
sweeping it under the rug.

And meantime,
her scholarship,

her bank accounts and...

her future career are
all in jeopardy.

So he's claiming that her TikTok
defamed his public image?

So that's what TikTok
is about, defaming?

So then that one woman is...

defaming her ham sandwich? I...

That's-- No.

Oh, look who it is.
Hey, Lawrence.

Mr. Robot.

Hello.
Hi, Papa.

Hi, Clem.

What is
this ominous balloon for?

Oh, it's real. Okay.

I thought
my retina had detached.

It's a gender reveal balloon.

I'm sorry, it's a what?
Ah, for the baby?

Seriously? A balloon?
I thought for gender reveals

you were supposed to,
like, burn down a farm.

This is so bougie
and heteronormative.

Allison, try not
to belittle your brother...

I'm not belittling him,
I'm just saying.
Fine.

Okay, we wanted
to share this information

with you all in a fun way,
like a normal couple would.

You and Chet are
a normal couple.
Well, Chet is a normal.

Wait, but do you
know what it is?

Okay, then just
tell us rather than--

I'm going
to pop this now.

Okay, he wants to do this.
Now, please.

This is fun.
Is it?

God.

It's, it's green.

Which means?

You're having a frog?

It would seem that they gave me
the wrong balloon.

Oh, babe.

My mashed potatoes are
full of gender reveal.

And the baby?

Well, Clem?

I get a little brother!

A boy.

I've always wanted a boy.
What?

Oh, Clem, having a baby brother

is the absolute best thing
in the whole world.

Oh, it's, it's
the clerk at court.

At this hour?

Uh, I should take it in
the bedroom. Here, Todd.

Yep, yep.
Oh, congratulations, Lawrence.

Oh, thank you.

Okay. I am going
to de-frog myself

in the bathroom.

Hey, Clem, you're gonna be
a big sister just like me.

We should have a sleepover to
celebrate. We can watch Frozen.

Or do some nails?
Or we can do nails.

And we can
make a volcano

and we can blow some stuff up.

Wouldn't that be so fun?
And where would you do this?

Uh...

I don't know, I guess at Todd's.

Uh, no, Clem isn't going
near Todd's.

She hasn't had
her final vaccinations yet.

Okay, well, I'm sure
Mom would let me do it here.

Why are you resisting this?
I'm offering to babysit.

It's just that
I'm not sure that your...

I'm not sure
that your current lifestyle

is appropriate for Clem
to be around.

My current lifestyle?
What does that mean?

We can discuss it later. Maybe.

Clem, hey, let's go
show Daddy what you made.

Okay.

Oh, Al-pal.

I'll have a girls' night
with you.

Just two sexy ladies

with some catalogs
and some milkshakes, woo-hoo!

But I won't watch Frozen, no.

It's too real.

Too close, can't do it.

They were deliberating
this late?

And-and-and they have questions.

Okay. No, all right, all right.

I'll be at the courthouse
first thing in the morning.

All right. Okay, thank...

thank you.

Hey! What the--?

Lawrence, uh...

what is going on?

Why are you turning on
all of the--?

Are you gonna kill me?

Is it true
that you're now operating

a private detective agency
within Mother's law firm?

Yes.
And your business is
separate from hers?

You don't report your clients
or income to anyone there?

Yes.
And you can keep
your work confidential?

Yes.

Then I have a job for you.

Find out if he's gay.

What?

Thank you for coming.
I know it was somewhat

short notice. The jurors were
here until 9:45 last night,

and they have some requests.

Juror number seven is
requesting an early release.

It's her daughter's wedding
is tomorrow.

Juror number seven?
I am inclined to say no.

Margaret, come on,
her daughter's wedding?

She's gonna turn on you
if you keep her.

All right, yes.

Yes. Release her.

And the jury has asked
to have Hank Jennings'

testimony re-read to them,
which I am inclined to grant.

Thank you, Counsel,
that's all.

Tough break.

I think you had
juror number seven.

But the alternates.

No, they-- they don't
like me or Gillian.

I can tell from the
looks on their faces.

And re-reading the lab
partner's testimony?

Doesn't bode well.

All right, you too.
Take care.

How'd it go?

What happened?

We're losing.

I'm losing. My God.

Why am I the one getting
punished when I didn't

do anything wrong?
Gillian.

Nothing happened yet.

We are not losing.

You know what?

Let me make a quick phone call.

All right.

Mom?
Todd, this may be pointless,

but I want you to look into that
mysterious girl from yesterday.

Well, I thought
that case was closed.

Also I'm in the middle
of something, so I can't.

In the middle of what?

A nap? A meal? A disaster?

Hey, my contract with you
allows me to take on

outside clients,
and this one is confidential.

"Confidential"?

I don't remember agreeing
to confidential.

Then I am setting
some healthy boundaries

and this is a private matter.
Call Lyle. Guh-bye.

Hey, Lawrence?

Hey.

What, are you following me?
Yes. It was very easy.

Turns out, you're the only
lumbering robot on this street.

Do you have an answer for me?

Not yet, but what is going
on with this situation?

Are you trying to
get with this guy?

You're using me to have
some sort of affair?

'Cause, look, you got
very lucky with Chet.

You don't want to risk--
I'm not.

Okay, okay.

Great, not cheating.

So I did some
preliminary digging,

and he's a local judge.

Which I assume
you already knew.

But why do you need
to know if he's gay?

Can't you just ask him?

I mean, what's the big deal?
No.

Do not ask him if he's gay,
absolutely not.

That's the one thing
you cannot do.

Okay, wow, all right.

I knew this was a bad idea.

Look.

If you can't help me,
I will find

a real detective who can.

No, no, hey, I can do it. I can.

Lawrence, I'll find out.

Ah, perfect timing.

All right,
of the 184 letters we sent out

in search of information
on Gillian's professor,

36 people never responded,
and five of those were women

between the ages of 18 and 25.
Mm-hmm.

One, two, three, four.

No, no, none of those are her.

She was, um, my height,
and dark reddish hair.

Very pale.
Oh, uh...

The fifth woman,
Clara Wilkins, has

no online photos
and no Internet presence.

Well, that is unusual for
a college student today.

But she does have a P.O. box
in her name in Hillsboro.

Let's just go out there

and see what she knows
about Gillian's case.

Todd, you got to be kidding me.

Stealing a judge's trash
has got to be

some sort of federal crime.

Come on, it's trash.

And why do you need me?

But more importantly,
why are we doing this down here?

Secret assignment. Top secret.

And I need a woman's opinion.

Okay, so...

Okay, okay, okay.
Empty instant ramen cup?

Straight.
What?

Um-- Ooh, Popsicle stick? Gay.

Why is a Popsicle stick gay?

I don't know.
Summer, tank tops, Popsicles,

pride parade, crafts.

This is ridiculous,
and reductive.

Believe me, I know,
but I got to start somewhere.

Okay, let's see. Um...

Okay. Uh, hair? Is this hair?

Wait, he cuts his own hair?

Oh. Straight.
No, wait, no-- wait, oh.

These are actually
just feathers?
Okay, gay.

From a discarded down jacket?

Straight?
Ugh, this guy's
all over the place.

I really have to crack this.

Hey, what's going on over here?

Do I know this woman?
She's giving me

a really weird look.
Oh, no. Well, I mean, maybe.

But the googly eyes
are for me, not you.

She wants to, uh, "date me."
Wait.

Is that why you
brought me down here?

So you can make googly eyes
back at her?

No, no, no, no. I am not
in that headspace right now.

And I'm not interested, okay?
I'm a...

Lone wolf.
Yeah, I know, I know.

I heard you muttering that
in the elevator.

I was alone in
that elevator.

No, you were not.

You know, you should go for her.

She-She's cute.

Hey, you don't have to

matchmaker me into a match

just because you are blissfully
married and happy now.

Aww, and you will be, too,
someday. Mwah.

Okay, okay. Um...

Back into
the judge's trash.

Okay, here we go.

Candy bar wrapper.
Dark chocolate, almonds...

mint?

Bi. Almonds and mint?
Asexual. What?

Are you joking? No,
that's three things.

Is trisexual a thing?

They have those
peppermint sticks.

I know you like them.
No, no candy.

Oh, come on. Just one, please?

Micah, no.

Excuse me,
Clara Wilkins?

Uh, w-what are you doing here?
How did you find me?

Whoa, uh, it's important.

Do you have something
that you want to share

about Professor Madden?

Micah, go wait in the truck.

Now.

You-you said that the trial
was over.

I know, I know, and
technically, it is,

but if Professor Madden
wins this defamation suit,

Gillian will be bankrupt,
and it will destroy

any future career opportunities
that she may have.

She needs all the help
she can get.

Would you be willing
to just talk to us?

No.

No, no, I-I can't talk
to anyone, I don't...

Clara.

If you know something that
is integral to this case,

it is your duty as a
citizen to come forward.

I could subpoena you, and
legally, you would have to...

No, don't.
That would ruin my life.

Clara.

I've got her plates.

Should be easy
to track her from there.

Good.
But Margaret,

to what end are we pursuing her?

If the trial is
over, then...

The jury is still out, Lyle.

It's not over yet.

It's Francey. Court wants
you back immediately.

Maybe they've reached a verdict.

Well, this is a delight, Todd.

You taking your sad old
spinster aunts out to lunch.

I'm not a...

Why are we eating
at the courthouse?

Well, Mom loves
the shrimp salad here

and there's tons
of cute lawyers around.

Maybe you might meet someone.
You never know.

Oh, that's true.
I've met a number

of incarcerated gentlemen

through the
judicial system.

Coco, Hammer, 5-Knife-Lick...

You dated someone
named "5-Knife-Lick"?

Oh, he was very, very shy,

and I'm not sure
I appreciate your tone.

Who are you currently dating?

No one. I...

I didn't mean...
Okay, but wow.

Hey, there's a cute guy
over there.

No, no, no, no, not-not there.

Right there, right there.
No, no, not him. Him.

That guy. That guy.

Yeah, he looks
nice and cute.

Why don't you go over there
and talk to him, Allison?

Or Patty? Or anyone?

What is going on?
Are you prostituting us?

You're prostituting us?

This is gross and weird.
I'm leaving.

Try your skeevy shenanigans
with some other nutcase.

Hello. Is this seat taken?

Oh, I love your lunch.

What a day, huh?

So many courts, so many rulings,

people being executed,
it's so exciting.

T-Try something else.

Entice him. Beguile him.

You know,
I happen to own an island.

It's off the coast,
in the Pacific, it's...

...Magic Crystal Island.

It's full of beautiful
waterfalls and badgers and...

What are you saying?

It's like a nicer Ecuador,
it's...

Hi. Hello, there.

Um, I'm new here,

and...

this courthouse is so big,

and I was wondering
if you could, maybe,

show me to the, um,
jury room?

I'm not allowed
to speak to jurors.

Oh, oh, are you a judge?

I'd love for you
to render my verdict.

No? Céline Dion?

What is with that guy?

Hey, do you know
anything about that guy?

- Oh, yeah, Judge Spinks?
- Mm-hmm.

Thinks he's so cool
'cause the governor

wanted to talk to him.

Big deal.

Yeah.

Big deal.

Huh.

After two days of deliberations,

I've been informed by the jury
that they are deadlocked.

11 to one. Now...

Is that 11 for or against me?

They don't tell us
which is which.

There will be no mistrial.

I am not wasting
this court's time or money.

You will keep
deliberating.

There is no deadlock,
no gray area.

You must pick a side.

Either guilty or not guilty.

Now I will send you back
into the jury room.

And if you need
any testimony...

You want to find a way
to reopen the case.

Yes.
...but you need
to come to a decision.

We are going to subpoena
Clara Wilkins.

So, it would seem
our friend Adam Spinks

is up for a state
supreme court appointment.

Uh-huh? Thank you very much

for trusting me
with that información.

Now tell me why it matters
if he's gay.

There are seven judges on
the state supreme court.

Mm-hmm.
And two of them,

by complete random chance,
happen to be gay.

Then, the Honorable
Edna Lewis recently...

became a lesbian.
What, like, through magic?

Now, the governor has to
fill a vacancy on the court,

and her more conservative
constituents...

Ugh, I hate that word. It sounds
like voters with stitches.

...are concerned that,
if the new judge is gay,

then the gay agenda
will have a majority.

And will do what, make culottes
and square dancing mandatory?

The governor is
up for reelection.

Okay, so now's the perfect time

to start discriminating,
or reverse discriminating?

Or reverse-reverse
discriminating?

Last year, the
governor appointed

a very moderate judge to a
different court in Ashland...

Mm-hmm.
...and that judge
took a hard right turn

and began supporting extremely
homophobic legislation.

And then, of course, got
caught on a gay hookup site.

Oh, I remember that.
His username was ChamberLord.

It was humiliating
for the governor.

And if I want to stay
in her good graces

and get her endorsement
when she retires,

I need to fully vet Spinks.

No surprises this time.

Okay, yes, look,
so I can get your answer,

but I need to borrow your car.

Yes, to tail Spinks.

And your car is...?

Allison took it.
Hers got booted again.

What is going on with her?
I know.

She's spiraling into
a chaotic black hole.
Total mess.

We're the good ones now.
Can you believe it?

No, I wouldn't go that far.

What-- Okay,
so give me your car.

No. No way. I drive a
government-sanctioned vehicle.

Okay, well, if you want me
to go out and out your judge,

I'm gonna need some wheels.

You're making this
very difficult.

You are the one who is working
against your own kind.

I mean, if he's gay
and he doesn't get the job,

isn't that precisely homophobic?

It is not homophobic.
It's politics.

Well, do you think he's gay?

I mean, don't you have, like,
gaydar or whatever?

I'm... I'm not even really gay.

Just forget this whole thing.

This can't be where Clara lives.

In an old community center?

Could be a nonprofit.

Can I help you?

Ah, yes. I'm Margaret Wright.

I'm looking for Clara
Wilkins. Is she here?

Is she in trouble?

Uh...
Clara!

Yes, Mother.

These people are
asking for you. Why?

What's going on?

Clara Wilkins,

you have been ser...
Selected,

as a winner for
a-a beauty makeover

from your local
radio station

KOLP. Congratulations.

We don't allow cosmetics
in our community.

Oh.

Micah! Stop playing
with the girls.

Uh, well, we're so sorry.
We had no idea.

We'll just show
ourselves the way out.

Is this the way?

I'll point them
in the right direction.

I'll be right back, Mother.

This way.

Clara, I am so, so sorry.

Had we known that you were part
of such a strict community,

we never would have...
If anyone finds out

that I've been taking college
classes, I'll be disowned.

Education goes
against your beliefs?

For girls, it does.

Where do they think you
are when you're at school?

The market, groceries, laundry.

My family wouldn't
understand my choices.

Not even your mother?

She wants...

...they all want
a very specific life for me.

I know how that feels.

Well, Clara, I
am very sorry.

We will find another way.
Thank you.

You're right about
Professor Madden.

He's a bad person.

I was reading in
a private room

when I heard him ask
Gillian to touch him.

He said that he would
give her an internship.

And she said no,

and then he tried to block her
from leaving the room.

Oh, Clara.
And he said
bad things

to me, too.

So when I got your letter, I...

You wanted to help Gillian,

but the personal risk
is too great.

And yet you
came down to

that courthouse
that day to find me.

Gillian is
still in danger,

and we have very
little time left

before this trial
is truly over.

We cannot let
Professor Madden win.

Clara, you are
going to school now.

You are
studying things,

you are
improving yourself.

Maybe there's
a part of you

that wants to be
out of this life.

Could I, um,

could I talk to the judge
without anyone knowing?

You would do that?

Yes.

I'll see what I can do.

Okay.
Thank you.

You know, you didn't
have to come with me.

I am not
leaving you alone

to eat snacks
in my car.

They're Funyuns, okay?
They're fun onions.

Which store
are we watching?

Well, he's parked
right here

so he's likely
over there,

in the Outback
Steakhouse,

or the American
Girl doll store,

or Hooters,

or Calico Corners
fabric shop,

or, you know,
down at Home Despot.

If you had been quicker
in the bathroom,

we would have seen him.
And it's Home Depot.

No, no,
they changed it to

Home Despot,
like, six months ago.

That seems like a big
marketing mistake.

What did you mean when you said

you're not really gay?

Well, all I do is work.

17, 18-hour days.

And when I'm home,
if I'm home,

I'm doing laundry.
Mm-hmm.

Clem has, like,
600 socks,

and none of them
have a match.

And Chet and I
are too tired

after work for
any kind of--

You can skip that part.

So, what about this life is gay?

How am I gay?

Why does it matter
if I have that label?

All I am is a working,
busy, tired father.

Yeah, who sleeps
in bed at night

with a man he's married to.
You're gay.

Well, I don't feel gay.

I'm not skipping around

or listening to Metallica,

or wearing lederhosen,
or going to Croatia,

or driving around
in a convertible

with bubbles flowing
out over the top...

What? What are you saying?
Bubbles? What?

Lawrence, being gay
isn't only one thing

or-or-or one way of life.

Gay could be anything.

I mean, you could be you gay.
You could be Croatia gay...

If gay can be anything,
then isn't it nothing?

Who cares if
anyone is gay?

Aren't we beyond labels now?

Why do I have to be gay?

The whole thing is pointless.

I mean, all I care about

is Chet and Clem's
health and happiness

and paying
the utility bills on time.

It's Mom. Should I--

No, don't answer it.

Should I not?
No.

Well, why don't I just...
Do not answer it, Todd.

Eh, I'm gonna answer it.
Don't, don't...

Don't answer it.
Hey, Mom?

Uh, Todd, I found her.

She's part of a fundamentalist
religious sect in Hillsboro.

- Is she gonna help you?
- I think so.

I'm working on it,
but, Todd, I'm...

I'm having doubts about
pushing her into something

that could destroy her.

Todd, let me ask you something.

I didn't ruin your
sister's life, did I?

I mean, am I the reason

that Allison is flailing?

No, she's just...

Look, Allison is
in transition, you know?

She was in one life
that she was maybe forced into,

and now she's changing lanes,
and that's bumpy.

She never wants to see me.

She shows up at the opera

dressed like an inebriated

yoga teacher.
I think she's seeing someone

but she won't tell me who.

Yeah, you know
who else is a mess? Lawrence.

Be kind to your brother.

He may not be as bright
as you or your sister

but he means well.

Although I do have to
talk to Chet

about the way he dresses.

Oh, some of those
communist suits

are so stiff.

Oh, oh, oh.

Who is that?
Mom, Mom, Mom,

I gotta go. Bye.
What's going on, Todd?

There's a fire.
Fire?

Once again,
if you'd been

focused on the
task at hand,

we would have seen which
store he came out of.

You know, you think

you're so cute with all that,

but you're not quite
as bright as me,

are you, in your
communist suit? What?

Wait, what is he doing?

What is he...

What is...
What is that?

- What is he wearing?
- What is he putting on?

Is that-- Is he putting that
on his head?
What is he holding?

What-what is that?
Wait, that's-that's strange.

What is he doing with that?
Oh, my God.

You need to relax.
That is disturbing.

But what is going--

What-- That
is disturbing.

Follow that milk carton.

Yeah.

And that's when I went to go
find Ms. Wright.

Thank you, Clara,
for sharing your story.

I appreciate
you coming in.

Good job.

Okay,

so, off the record,
I think we can all agree

this guy's a scumbag, but what
are we going to do about it?

The testimony
should be admitted.

This courageous young woman

is putting
her well-being on the line.

She's risking being
disowned by her community

to do the right thing.

That is awful, but
the law is the law.

Opening the case,
adding in a witness

at this midnight hour
would place

an inordinate amount of weight

on Clara's testimony
for the jury.

Why are we here
if not to defend the truth?

Dorothy, Melanie, the truth
just walked in that door,

and we're going to
turn a blind eye?

How is that
upholding the law?

We cannot fail
these two young women.

We have to reopen the case.

It's not without precedent.

And, of course,
I want to do it. I--

If you say no, and I lose,

I'm just going to
file a motion to appeal.

The brief is right here.

And we will all end up right
back here in a few weeks,

but next time,
I will have Clara as a witness,

and I will win.

So... it's your choice.

Now or later.

You decide.

I can't throw my
client under the bus.

I'll leave it up to
the court's discretion.

What is Clara studying?

Robotics.

Clara.

The judge has agreed
to reopen the case

and include your testimony.

But she has denied
our request for anonymity.

She-she wants me to

get on the stand
in front of everyone?

Yes.

And it would be tomorrow.

So, you need to go home
tonight and think about this,

and maybe talk to
your family.

Next. Go. Come on.

This is a costume party?

For courthouse
employees only.

We'll need
wristbands to get in.

Damn it.

Hey.

What are you doing here?

Hey. Um, I'm on
undercover assignment.

This is my
manservant, Lawrence.

Oh, hey.
What are you
doing here?

Oh, I'm moonlighting for
extra cash, you know.

Um, are you guys
trying to get inside?

Yeah.

I think I can help you.

Who is this?

Judy. She's, um...

I work with her.
Well, I work above her.

She's interested in me,

but I am not.
I'm busy with my career.

Trying to remain
focused, like a wolf.

Wolves are
not focused.

Most wolves are starved
to the point of delirium.

They kill and eat
indiscriminately

because they
have to.

Huh.

I didn't know that.

These should help you
with your mission,

should you choose
to accept them.

All right, see you inside.

♪ I'm seeing everything
in a new light... ♪

Oh, there he is.

Okay. Well, he seems very
friendly with that piñata.

There's someone
inside that costume.

Ah, yes. Good point.
Thank you.

Let's just
wait and watch

to see who's inside.

Oh. Hi.

Yeah, they're an item,
but at some point,

that piñata's gonna have
to come out of that costume

to pee or breathe.

I mean, how is it
drinking that drink?

I don't even see
a mouth opening.

Hey.

How many Jell-O
shots have you had?

What?

Oh, my God. You're drunk.

No, these are just Jell-O.

No, they are Jell-O shots,
full of grain alcohol.

Didn't you have parties
in military school?

No, I wasn't invited.

But I think you're pretty,
no matter what anyone says.

Wow.
Hey.

Are you
having fun?

No, ah-ah. Not the shrimp, no.

That bad?
Yeah.

Okay.

You're watching
that piñata?
Yeah.

We need to know what's
inside the piñata.

I think
it's usually candy.

Oh. Hey, hey, hey.

It's moving, it's moving.

It's going to the bathroom.

Hey, Lawrence? Lawrence!

You're a robot and a pirate,

but I'm okay with it.

You know, I'll go
check it out.

Okay, we need to know
if it's a piña-tah

or a piña-toe.
Got you.

Okay. Okay, let's go, drunky.

Hey, wait.
I was talking to him.

Okay, let's get
some food in you, huh?

What about these cupcakes?

Or, I hear the shrimp
are pretty good.

I don't wanna go home.
No?

Oh, my God,
it's Albert Einstein.

Are you dating
Gayle King?

Okay, I'm very sorry for
my robot idiot brother,

but big fan of
both of your work.

I'm a robot and a pirate
at the same time.

Oh, my God.
Oh, no luck.
Unisex restroom.

The line was long
and the piñata gave up.

Great, now the milk
is nowhere to be found.

God, this is
ridiculous.

Can we just rip off
that piñata's head

and find out
what's inside?

Pretty sure you need a bat
to destroy a piñata.

So, when you say
manservant?

Just my brother,
my idiot brother...

Hey, bat, spill it!

Open up! Come on!

No, no, no.
Wrong bat! Wrong bat!

Hey!
Oh, uh...

You should go.
I'll take care of him.

Thank you.
Yes.

Hey, Derek, hi.

Come on, let's go, Batman.

Excuse me. So sorry, so sorry.

Bye!

Bye, everyone. Goodbye.

Thanks again!

Give me the keys.
Gimme!

But I want the candy
inside of that piñata.

Go back.
What?

Todd?

Lawrence?

Mom! Jell-O!

What is going on?

He's been doing
Jell-O shots.

Every color of the rainbow.

What is happening here?

Um, mid-gay-life
crisis?

What are you
doing downtown?

Oh, I was at
the courthouse but--

Oh, my God.
We need to get him home.

Yeah.
No, but I can't.

Chet's mom is here. Boo.
Okay.

I'm gonna take him
to my place.

Your place? Oh, great.

Mom says it's a dump.

What? You called
my place a dump?

Not now, Todd.
But, yes.

She says it's a dump.

♪ The wheels on the bus
go round and round ♪

♪ Round and round,
round and... ♪

Lawrence, honey,
you have to walk.

Take steps.
Hey, hi, everybody.

Hey.
Patty.

What?
What are you
doing here?

Oh, I'm surprising Allison
with a little girls' night.

I think she could use
some female bonding

and guidance.
From you?

Yes, me.
I've got some face masks,

hummus, bath salts.

Not the kind that
turn you into a zombie.

And I don't really
recommend those.

Can we just--
Lawrence is very heavy.

Oh, sorry. Sorry.
I'm not heavy,
I'm your brother.

Come on.

Lawrence, you are hooking
my bra right now.
Okay, sweetheart.

I saw this in the movies once...

Oh, my God.

Allison!
Dick?!

Mom?
Tony.

Feliz Navidad!

Oh!

What?!
Oh, my God, he hit his head.

Patty, get some ice.
You said you had
an all-night stakeout--

What are you wearing?

What am I wearing?
What am I wearing?

What are you doing in my bed
with him?

Oh, I'm sorry,
is this your wife?

This is my sister,
and you told me

- I had to be a lone wolf.
- Ow.

No distractions.
Ow...

No girls, no boys.
So what is this?

What can I say, Tyler?
I love her, man.
What?!

Oh, my God.
Yeah, but listen,

she's not gonna be around
long, right?

You know, she's a cop.

So she's gonna die
in the line of duty

any day now, quickly.

I am a doctor.
I was your doctor.

Okay, Dr. Feelgood, what
do we do about this injury?

Okay, just sit him up.

Um, keep the ice
on his forehead.

Is he disoriented?
Very.

And so are you, by the way.

Allison, this is
very disappointing.

Yeah, I'll say it is.
Why?

I am a grown, marri--
Single.

I am a single woman.

I don't think marriage is
in the cards for us, babe.
Stop talking.

Also, what do you care
who I sleep with?

You told Lawrence it doesn't
matter who we love.

You love him? Him?!

It doesn't matter.
Gay or straight,

we can all make terrible
life choices.

Okay, this is ridiculous.
Can everyone please just

get out right now?

What? I live here.

This is my apartment.

Dick?

It's me.

Oh, dear God, Patty,
is that you?

You know my aunt?

I, uh, I thought
you were dead.

No, no, no, not yet.

Dick, I waited for your call

for many, many years.
Oh, my God.

Hey, listen, Patty, you know
I think you're a great gal.

We had some great times
together, right?

But I'm a lone wolf.

I live in the shadows.

I-I got garbage down my pants

so I can stay warm at night.
That's you, by the way.

The garbage in his pants,
that's you.

Todd, you're your own garbage
in your pants.

I'm not really sure
that makes any sense.

And you are such a fraud,
by the way.

I wanted to be just like you,
a great detective,

but look at me now.

Yeah, you're a terrible
detective.

Couldn't even solve
my little gay case.

Wait, your confidential client
is Lawrence?

Yeah. He failed me.
You're fired.

I'm a failure, too.

I'm probably gonna be fired.

I vetted that judge
they found on Grindr.

It was me.

I don't have gaydar.

I don't wear espadrilles.
I hate Metallica.

Is Metallica a gay band?

Oh, yeah.
Duh.

You are not a failure,
and of all my children--

He's the favorite.
I knew it.
He what?

We're letting you down,
and he's not?

Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa. Listen up, everybody.

I've had a really great time.

I like most of you.

But right now, I'm having
a heart attack,

so could someone
call me a 911?

Oh...

Oh, Clara, hi.

I'm so sorry
I'm two minutes late.

Uh, it was a strange night.

Are you ready for this?

Did you talk to your family?

Let's just go in
and do it.

Okay, okay.
So remember,

all you have to do is
tell the truth.
Mm-hmm.

Um...

is he taking photos...

of-of people in there? No.

Is it gonna be in the papers?

Because if-if my family--

What if my family sees?
If they send me away,

then Micah-- what will
happen to my brother?
Okay.

He's-he's, um-- And they
won't, they won't...

Clara, shh, shh, shh.
Breathe, breathe, breathe.

I'm not gonna ask you
to do this.

I-- Your safety is
the most important thing.

Um, what-what happens
if I don't?

Gillian will lose,
but we'll appeal.

I am not going to trade
her future for yours.

So I'm just gonna go inside
and tell them

it's not gonna happen.

I keep thinking that
I'm ready, and then...

I just get scared,
and then I...

Clara, I'm going to
go inside,

and if you're ready,
you'll join me.

Or you'll wait here.

Either one is okay.

You do what's right for you.

Ms. Wright,
is the witness here?

Your Honor, unfortunately...

Yes, Your Honor,
she is ready now.

Will the defendant
please rise?

In the case of Richard Madden
v. Gillian Gibbons,

the jury finds the defendant
not liable for defamation.

Okay.

Congratulations.

You are so brave, Gillian.

He will lose his job, and he is
not a threat to you anymore.

Okay.

Okay? Yes.
Thank you.

Mmm. That's good.

Hey.

Hi.

Are those from that party?

Yes. I am upcycling.

There's so much waste
in the world.

Mm. Yeah.

Ooh.
Uh, I just wanted
to come by

and say thank you
for all your help last night.

I mean, it was fun.
And-and-and you really...

Do you want to have
dinner sometime?
Yes!

Y-Yes, I do.

Good.
I really do.

Good.
Mm.

Oh, and by the by,
I figured out the gender

of your little piñata friend
last night.

What? You did? How?

Bad shrimp.

Oh.
Yeah, there was a little
flap in the neck,

and I just, I delivered
that bad shrimp right on in.

They had to remove the head
to get to the toilet.

Probably still throwing
up somewhere.

So who was inside?
Was it a man or a woman?

How did it go?

Well, they're still
talking to me for now.

But I am leaving.

Okay. And the college
has agreed to house you

as part of their
work study program.

And what about my brother?

Clara, should you need to
bring Micah with you,

we will find a legal way
to make that happen.

He'll be okay.

That first day when I saw you
at the courthouse,

I thought that you were...

just a lawyer helping Gillian.

I didn't realize that
you would help me, too.

Thank you.

I-- Honestly, I don't know

how to thank you enough.
Thank you.

Oh...

Thank you.
So why don't you
take a seat right here.

I will find Todd for you.
Okay. Thank you, Susan.

It's really great
seeing you, Lawrence.

Great seeing you, too.

Oh.

Thank you.

Uh, who's this?

That is my husband Chet
and our daughter Clementine.

She's at the movies today
with her Aunt Allison.

So you're married to a man?

Yes.

Lawrence.
Hi, Mom.

Hi, honey. I didn't know

you were
coming in today.

Yeah. I'm here
to see Todd.

Okay. Come on, Micah.

Thank you.
Thanks.

We'll get some paperwork
for his sister's college.

Oh, hello.
Walk with me, won't you?

Todd, uh, I wanted
to come by and say...
Ooh, ooh.

Sorry. Is this in an official
capacity? Because you fired me.

So now, anything you say will
be emailed directly to CNN.

And the FBI. And TMZ.
And CBS. And KFC.

Ha, ha, ha. Listen.

I am sorry
about the other night.

I have never done
Jell-O Slaps before.

Oh, boy.
And

some of the things
I said were maybe... misguided.

Yeah. Like
"I'm not really gay"?

'Cause you weren't drunk
for that.

I am gay. Of course.

My connection to that community
may not be very... strong.

But perhaps there is value
in embracing the label.

Yeah.

And I have decided to recommend
Adam Spinks for the position.

He is extremely qualified.

Oh, okay. Damn. So you don't
want to know anymore?

'Cause I figured it out.
You did?

Yeah, with some help
from my friend... Dorothy.

And I have something for you.

What is this?

This is a Sexual Orientation
Reveal Balloon.

Just pop it,
and the confetti inside

will tell you
which team the judge plays for.

Seriously?
Why... can't you just tell me?

I mean, what color is...?

You'll know. Just pop it.

But not in here
'cause it'll make a big mess,

and Mom will get mad.

But take it outside and pop it.

Wait. Does pink mean...?
Or is-is blue...?

Just pop it. You'll see.

You did it.

Nice work.

Proud of you, too.

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh... ♪

But poor sweet Allison.

She's turning into
someone else, isn't she?

She certainly is, but who?

Thank you.
Hello.

Jury's still out on that one,
but I think it'll be okay.

Let's just wait
and see. Hey.

Although, you know who she
reminds me of at this age?

Lester.
Lester?

Was Lester acting out,
rebelling in his 30s?

He shaved his head

and then hijacked that
little train at the zoo.

Remember? Father
was furious.

Dear God, is Allison
turning into Lester?

I need to talk to her.

♪ Somewhere over the rainbow ♪

♪ Way up high ♪

♪ And the dreams
that you dream of ♪

♪ Once in a lullaby... ♪

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