Original subtitles

Listen, people, you can fear no more.

The robbers from the Spessart forest, I caught them.

Hooray, Hooray! The robbers from the Spessart forest!

I ambushed them.

He ambushed them.

But now, but now, they will be hanged!

Hanged! - Killed!

The rope awaits them all.

Man, just hold it. - Get lost, you idiot.

Soon you'll be roasted in hell... - Yes...

Prepare to repent! - Yes...

Regret your misdeeds... - Yes...

You're talking a mattress out of your chin!

Zack, Zack! The dirty lot will be hanged.

Hanged? Oh no. This punishment is too small.

A little shock and they're gone. Where's the torment there?

The punishment's too small!

We'll push them from the balcony. - That's still too nice.

In the tavern in the Spessart. We'll wall them up there.

Oh yes, oh yes! We'll wall them in there!

In the name of the Court! - That's of no importance here.

They'll die and rot behind walls, in a long time when they draw their last breath.

Now, come on, you dogs! - We're cooling our heels...

for an hour now!

Turn right! Up the balls! Lockstep... March.

Here in your robber's den you'll expire your black soul!

Let me please, please repent before the eternal rest!

No, no, no!

Now give me one more stone, one more stone, one more stone!

Now give him one more stone, one more stone!

Oh, can't you please forgive us? - Forgive you? Never, no!

Now give me one more stone, one more stone, one more stone!

Come on, bite him, you stupid dog.

Your time is short, so listen, hi hi hi! - Hi, hi, hi!

For disdaining fidelity,

I tell you as a prophet

you shall languish forever,

as long as this wall stands!

You shall languish forever...

as long as this wall stands.

The Haunted Castle in the Spessart

Frankfurt Highway

Tavern in the Spessart

Look what's dangling there!

Let me go! Shissimatucki!

Hey, look what's hanging there!

Karl, Karl! What's that? Karl!

Will you let go now!

Ow... Right on the head!

There's one in there!

You see it again here. There's nothing too cheap for those housing offices!

Hey, come out!

I'll get you outta there!

Run!

Karl, what's going on? Did you see somebody?

Paul, your machine!

Ahh... I'm fed up... I'll stomp you... like a bug.

Niiiiice...

Uncle Max... Are you freezing?

Yes, Hugo. Luckily we're dead. You could catch your death of cold here.

Witching hour...

Get up, haunt something! - Don't want to. I just had a nice dream.

Me too. - Rather repent!

You're not the boss anymore. - Who's calling the shots here? Me!

Oh, dreaming on the tree was wonderful. -

Such a nice dream probably won't come true.

I dreamt of three beefsteaks in the pan.

Then there was pudding, compote, and sweet curd.

I dreamt of a beautiful, strong man.

And when he left, he wasn't so strong anymore.

Oh, was the dream on the tree wonderful... - Such a nice, strong man!

Such a strong man will probably not get true anymore...

I was hanged, and the glasses of my hangman broke.

Instead of me, the attorney got the rope.

At night, I tickled a widow... - Tickled?

She cried for help and I helped her... for hours.

Oh, was the dream on the tree wonderful... - Wonderful, was the dream.

Such a nice dream probably won't come true. - Shissimatucki, now stop already!

As long as we didn't pay for our crimes, our souls won't get rest.

We have to do something good!

First we'll need a roof over our head.

Wait a moment, wasn't there a castle near here?

A castle's great! There's something to nibble!

Hopefully something to lay, too...

So, to the castle!

Come on, into the cellar!

Oh... Again into the basement.

Hmm... Very warm.

Uncle Max... Look! There's a button! May I turn it?

Nothing will be turned here, Hugo! - Aw... Just one time!

Where are you? I don't see you anymore!

Shissimatucki, you're setting the castle afire!

Blow the lantern out!

Nothing to eat. I'll go upstairs. My stomach's rumbling.

Wait, I'll come with you! There's something rumbling here as well...

Watch your step!

But Aunt Ivonne. It's just me!

And what are you lurking around here? - I thought I heard something...

You too?

Hans Theodor. - Now what, what? - You scared us to death...

Well, you'll be allowed to walk somewhere.

The window...

Everything's broken in this house. Women's work!

Why isn't something like that repaired?

Because your blessed brother only left debts.

And me. - Yes, my child.

Ahh... I'm thirsty. - Hugo!

What is it, uncle? - You can't drink out of that!

Why? - That's a bathtub, for children!

Ahh... And this string? - When the child pulls, the nurse comes.

You've made me curious. What did I say? A well.

Is there somebody in there?

Everything's broken in this house.

Don't they have anything to eat?

You're not supposed to steal here!

But that's only theft of food. You just get little for that.

Maybe something's in there!

Look, snow! In this thing it's winter!

Oh, meat! - Shissimatucki, don't make such noise!

Since when do we have a dog?

Sophie! What are you doing here?

Countess, in the kitchen, I heard noise.

Well, that'll be the cat again. Why don't you keep her out at night?

Tshe, tshe! - There, the plate!

Did somebody put her in the freezer?

The whole meat is gone!

- Achoo! - Bless you!

But I didn't sneeze! - Who then?

Hans Theodor went insane!

You... Give me a little tenderness. - Yes, sure! Where are you?

You... Be with me tonight. - Oh, yes! If you want! Come out!

I... don't want to miss you...

Aww... - Somebody here?

Petermann, did you play the radio? - No, Mr. Count.

Yeah, but there was music. - Yes, Mr. Count.

Well, you'll have turned out the thing then. - No, Mr. Count.

Am I insane then? - Yes, Mr. Count.

Something seems fishy here.

That was down there, at the gate.

Hello!

I'll go and look. - Alone? That's out of the question.

Very right. You'll take Aunt Ivonee with you!

Hands up! - You're expecting dear visitors?

What do you want? - I just had a car accident. Can I stay?

No guesthouse here. About 2 km from here... - Two kilometers?

I won't get there with this foot. - Did you get hurt?

I think I've sprained my ankle. - Don't send him away.

Good to have a man in the house tonight. - And what am I?

Come in then. - Thank you. Thanks.

Can you still climb stairs? - Yes.

You'll sleep in the tower then.

Please come in, my dear Mr... What was the name again?

Uh, Dingbat... Uh, Martin Dingbat. - I'll get cold compresses, Mr. Dingbat.

He will be able to help himself. Good night!

Plan Castle Sandau

Is there somebody in here? - No...

Come out! At once!

Who are you?

Good morning, Mademoiselle de Sandau.

Morning, Mr. Proschke. This day's starting great.

Coming to seize land again? - No, no. Today I'm here as a human. Privately.

But next week I'll have to take the furniture.

Where should I get the money from? It isn't enough for the light bills!

Don't you have somebody who helps you? And if you just drive to this Mr. Hartog?

I don't know Mr. Hartog, and I don't want to know him.

But he has total control over you!

He's serious about this! He'll take the castle and make a hotel out of it!

We'll see. - So sorry for you. I can't sleep at night.

Poor Mr. Proschke. Well, go to the kitchen and get a breakfast.

Thanks... I won't eat a lot.

What are you doing here?

Exercising. Good for my leg.

Come in!

Oh, my dear Mr. Dingbat!

Good morning, Count of Sandau.

Now, come in a little!

You seem to be a passionate hunter.

With this I shot a white deer.

A white deer? Did you hit him?

Never again...

Hans Theodor, you'll have to do the tour today.

Downstairs there's at least 12,50 DM.

I don't have time now. You're always doing this.

With a wet head? I can't be seen dressed up like that!

Baroness, you look lovely.

Dear Mr. Dingbat, would you do me a favor? - Anything, Mrs. Baroness.

Then please go downstairs and dismiss those people. There won't be a tour today.

Here you see Gabriel Someguy.

He flirted with all of the girls and finally went to the scaffold.

When was that?

Shortly before his death.

A little slide into the past and suddenly the inhibitions are gone.

Humans in the past were exactly like us. - Exactly like us.

Indeed, he didn't know we all enjoy watching TV... TV.

Instead the troubadour came and crooned something for him.

And you call that the good old times.

Instead it was as bad as it is today.

You knights, who you once walked in iron, when you went to travel

and wanted to fight and believed that the armour would bless you

exactly like us. Exactly like us!

Now you standing still all day and simply rusting, rusting.

Proud your hand holds the spear, but what's inside that head?

Empty!

And you call that the good old times.

It was as bad as it's today!

Don't pity yourselves in this time.

It'll be called the good old times soon enough.

I wouldn't have put that past you.

You talked a lot of nonsense, but that doesn't matter.

They'll believe everything, especially when you act like a leader.

Can I give you the revenue of today? 14,45.

And a trouser button. You're talented, young man.

Can't we engage you?

With the greatest pleasure, Mrs. Baroness. Well, at least until my leg's ok again.

I'd even pay extra. - A hundred Mark?

You're having expenses because of me.

That's not an option at all! I don't take money! I'll use it to pay the bills.

Psht, don't make such a noise! And I tell you, if you steal something upstairs...

There's nothing there!

I never thought rich people could be so poor.

The poor little Countess has to run everything herself.

And that's why we have to help her!

That's what I'm saying. One bank robbery and she's saved.

Shissimatucki, don't you think of anything but crime?

Yes... - What? - Uh, no...

Don't you want to try it with work?

Uncle, what's that?

Work, we won't even say such a word. - Ugh!

You will go upstairs now and do something useful! Go!

All right, let's go to the Countess.

Yes, and bring some bitter almonds!

I need Hydrogen Cyanide.

Is there somebody? - We want to help you a little, Countess.

Who are you?

Your good ghosts!

We'll do everything for you, we'll do everything for you!

That's really nice of you, thank you! - You're welcome.

We'll do everything for you, we'll do everything for you!

I like to be helped, thanks! - You're welcome.

I'll be right back, I'll just bring the water to the calves.

No no, the bucket's too heavy for you. We'll take it ourselves. Yes, yes!

We'll do everything for you, don't worry!

I think I'm in a fairytale!

We'll do everything for you, we'll do everything for you!

Now I'll have to get some carrots.

Please. - Thanks!

We'll do everything for you, we'll do everything for you!

Is it enough, should we get more?

- Thanks. - You're welcome.

What are you going to do now?

I'll clean the windows.

No no, for such things you have your ghosts. Yes, yes!

We'll do everything for you, you'll smile again!

I do, but I can't pay you!

May I, Countess?

Thank you. - You're welcome.

Me too!

Thank you. - You're welcome.

But now I have to go feed my horses. - Aw...

Goodbye, my dear knights. - How cute!

We'll do everything for you, everything will go smoothly.

Yes, when you have good ghosts around you!

Hello, Countessy! Please.

- Thank you! - My name's Uncle Max.

My name is Hugo. - Pleased to meet you. Goodbye!

One tea spoon toad's spawn... How do you spell spawn?

What are you scribbling there anyway?

A recipe of my grandmother. I hope I'm putting it together right...

If we drink that, we'll be visible again!

For what do I need a body?

I'll only have stomach pain then.

I'd like to have a body again. The things you do with it.

Up there there is such a beautiful man.

Shissimatucki, you're supposed to do something good!

I want to do him good.

Three drops of devil's bit... Devil? Do you spell devil with w?

Hey, you! - Me?

Yeah, do you think I talk to the chicken?

Anyway, where can I find the Countess of Sandau?

What do you want of her?

That's nothing of your business.

Well, I can go then! - Lump!

Are you planning to stay the rest of your life here?

Thank you for the invitation. But I'm not sure about it yet.

Very friendly.

I'll certainly keep company with you for some days.

Unfortunately you're not the only one to decide this.

And I'd never have! But your aunt and I were at one very soon.

About the commission as well. - I don't want your money.

Miss, you're required upstairs. The man is from the government.

Maybe they're searching for a female secretary! You can count on my vote!

Senior Civil Servant of Teckel.

Federal Commissioner, Care and Advancement of Foreign Relations

in collaboration with the economic interests of the FRG.

Here my business card.

Mr. Teckel... Are you by chance related to a Colonel of Teckel?

Indeed, dear Baroness. My great grandfather.

Please, take a seat. - Thank you.

Back then, he eradicated all of those robbers and walled them up.

Are you suffering of lumbago, too? - No. There's got to be a needle in there.

Hopefully you aren't seriously hurt!

Oh no, just a minnow, Baroness.

Our niece, the Countess.

Ohh... - The lump.

I'm taking back the lump, of course.

Why lump? Do you know this man?

A little. But he didn't introduce himself yet.

Senior Civil Servant of Teckel.

Federal Commissioner, Care and Advancement of Foreign Relations

in collaboration with the economic interests of the FRG.

Here my business card.

Ah. And what's the reason for this pleasure?

An affair of highest national political meaning.

Shoot! - Why shoot? Oh.

Well, it's that. Would you be ok taking a foreign guest in for a bit?

Confidentially, it's a sovereign.

Confidentially, we can't afford that.

Oh, don't worry about that. Germany's a poor country and money doesn't matter.

We thought of 500 DM.

Per month? - Per day!

Charlotte, if he stays for just four weeks, Mr. Hartog can hang it up!

A moment, auntie.

What's his name? - Prince Kalaka of Celebridia.

Isn't that the one who wants to build the dam?

Exactly, him. Milliards are at stake. That's why he's coming here.

And why isn't he visiting officially?

Because he's scared.

Of what?

Capitalists, the Communists, his own countrymen and us.

I'd do something about it, but that is that.

And why does he want to go here, to the Spessart?

His Highness saw the film "The Spessart Inn" on TV,

and since then he wants to live here.

He shall feel at home here.

For God's sake! He's feeling at least comfortable at home.

How can we make it comfortable for him here?

By protecting his incognito.

Through greatest discretion and, most importantly, biggest silence.

Repitateta, Faschiska! KABUMSI, KABUMSI!

Now we're in a nice mess, with your salute.

When a prince is born in England, he doesn't start firing at everybody right away either.

Kapitulina, kapitulina! Returno favo intrato castello!

They're coming! They're coming!

May I welcome Your Majesty in the name of the government. Huh? He isn't in here?

Hallo Majesteta? Nixi. Alarmi blindi. Attacki finiti.

Where is he?

In the bunker. In the tank. - In the tank!

Openi! Openi, openi! Openi!

Impertinenze kafronza!

Now won't you hold it! - But I didn't say anything!

Servimonzi brutala!

Your Highness... Highness may graciously pardon!

Probo kafronzo miserabuli! Mistikack! Mistikack!

You have a nice guy there! It's really hard for me to leave you now.

Why? Do you want to go?

I thought that's one of your deepest wishes.

But... You paid in advance!

If you want me to live that up, I'll come back. Should I?

Goodbye.

Hartog Corporate

Your son wants to speak to you, Mr. Hartog. - On which phone?

Well, Daddy. I'm coming in natura.

Well, my son? You were lucky? Did you get to the old boot?

Ha, deviously. By the way, she isn't that old.

You weren't supposed to look at Miss Sandau, but at the castle!

Do you have a light?

Ah, one moment. You don't know that yet. My newest advertising stunt.

Daddy, the castle is really old. And, you already have so many hotels.

But none in the Spessart.

People are going abroad today, it's cheaper.

Oh, come on. Enough guests can afford to holiday in Germany, too.

And a little bit of romance and knight's armor and so on.

Daddy, the Sandaus are attached to their castle.

And with me, they're attached with 100,000 DM. So, how big's the kitchen?

I don't know.

Are you trying to stop me? Did that woman make you confused?

I'm just telling you one thing. If you take the castle away from her, I won't take part.

And if you work against my business, I won't take part, got it?

Goodbye, Daddy.

Where are you going?

To the Castle Sandau, measuring the kitchen.

Tutto presenti festi! Festi sacrala lotti. Kapistik? Festi!

Very well, Highness. What did he say?

Prince wishes you all to eat. Tonight he's giving a feast.

We're thankfully accepting.

Prince wishes food to be following: Podshdokoli salbo con peppero.

Podshdokoli, what's that?

Podshdokoli, mhh... Prima! - And who's cooking that?

Me.

With some luck and salt and with pepper,

the results you get could be much better.

Are you sure this will taste good?

The essential is the effect!

With some poison from mushrooms and spiders you maybe can win back your body again.

Are you sure this will taste good?

The essential is the effect.

Stop, stop! This causes stomach pain!

Too hot! - It can never be too hot.

With some luck and salt and with pepper,

the results you get could be much better.

And if the prince poops out?

The essential is the effect.

I don't think the Majesty's ever eaten such a Podshdokoli.

I don't think so either.

What does he want? - He wants to check for poison.

The essential is the effect!

And now the egg of a sparrow.

If it itches I can scratch myself again?

What good is the blouse if nothing's inside? The essential is the effect!

So, now try it out. - But leave something for us!

Kathrin! - Where are you?

Here!

Switch on the light!

We'll find you.

That's outrageous, just to vanish like that!

Now, come out, you've hidden!

The essential, essential is the effect!

Too much cyanide!

The essential is the effect...

You've gone insane, yes? Now get out!

I'm counting on you both being out.

Snow White! Hoohoo! Where could I go to?

Well, there!

Sweetie!

Oh, I'm getting so weak!

Ivonne!

Hans Theodor! You're still not ready!

I just saw a woman. She was completely blue!

And your white deer was white. You have a fantasy like a paintbox.

Yeah yeah... - Hurry!

Hurry up, uncle.

Now your dress has become beautiful!

Do you think so? Come soon, don't leave me alone so long.

Already there! I'm coming already!

Do you whistle like that for every girl?

Only for those who throw me for a loop. Please.

Nine nine matschkis. - Sorry?

Matschkis!

Very well, Your Highness, matschkis. What are matschkis?

Dames.

Oh, I see. The matschki will be right here.

Matschki!

May I introduce, Your Highness, the Countess of Sandau.

Maiesteta Kaputzo!

Prima Matschki... Fina a staturi... Sexi bombi!

- Veri petito. - Ahh.. fetti nixi boni...

Formi klassiki. - Pardon!

Banausi! - Nausi!

Do you speak English? - Ninewa.

Parlez-vous Francais? - Ügti... Nichti lingui...

Ahh! Swiss German? - No, also not.

Your Highness is speaking German!

Yeah, I had a Rhenish teacher, he taught me a little Kölsch.

Highness... Your Highness!

May I introducet he Baroness of Dieldeck, the Count of Sandau.

Well stop that hullabaloo and sit down! You're a cutie girl.

Please, Your Majesty.

Putschaiki. Kanzoni salutale.

Where do you see such wonderful men today?

In the Circus.

In my youth there were only such men.

You must have had a difficult youth.

Basta! Basta! Temperamenzi canzoni. Du singa!

What? - Singa! Lalalala.

But I can't.

Yes, yes! The Suleyka fits so well tonight.

Here, the beautiful Suleyka.

Oh, that old thing. How does it start?

The beautiful Suleyka.

The beautiful Suleyka from Baghdad, who's had a lot of men already.

She didn't want anymore, she didn't want anymore,

She was sick of all men.

Even when the caliphes called her beautiful body with letters...

She didn't want more visitors to her bed.

Even to the big Sultan she said "No!"! She didn't want to be a Sultana!

She said: "Off to the desert, off to the desert,

You'll be carrying your head on your neck then, you see...

Off to the desert, off to the desert, I'll immerse you as a mummy in salt, you see...

Off to the desert, away from the bust, I collect men, but only skewered ones!

Instead of lying here pale next to me, rather take the next camel you can get,

Off to the desert, you see, now you're going.

Off to the desert, off to the desert..."

Du tanza!

Me?

You!

Oh...

You'll have to get somebody else for that.

Nixa renitenzi! Du tanza!

That's out of the question.

Child, the man is a monarch... - Now, do him the favor!

Countess, I conjure you. In the name of the entire Federal Republic, please!

Yes... Yes!

Prima temperamenzo! Ekstas!

Go! Pfft!

For you we'll do everything!

Festi... finito.

Putaite maeros. Maiestato very furioso. Kapistik?

Allemani barbari. Poplo mistiko. - Poplo brutale. - Bonni, maiesteta?

Bonni notti. - Bonni notti, maiesteta.

Mistikack!

Huhu!

Matschki!

What's it with you, sweetie?

Appetiti erotici! Enormi appetit.

Can't you speak German with me?

Huh? Are there brown Germans as well?

If you only knew.

Give me a sweet kiss... - What will you give me?

Everything you want.

Here. Bijuteriti.

What happened? What's going on, where are you going?

I have to go to the cellar immediately, my juice weakens.

Nono, you're staying right here.

If I stay here, I'll be gone right away!

More bijuteriti, more...

Ha, I'm getting so weak!

Well, you like to hear that!

Where are you? Matschki! Matschki!

Don't! Leave it!

Why? With that the little one can save the whole castle.

And how do you want to give them to her?

We'll hide them like Easter eggs.

For you we'll do everything...

Out!

Other Matschki!

No! - Yes! - No!

You're owing me one for the slap! - Help!

Now help me!

Matschki, matschki!

Bruno, bite! Bite him!

Morto...

Matschki!

What are you doing here?

Someone has to watch over you.

I can do that myself.

Won't you let go of me?

I'll rather take a slap, too.

Don't remind me of that. When that cheeky guy leaves, this Hartog has won.

Who?

Someone who wants to take my castle. Hartog's his name.

Never heard of him. And would that be so awful?

That's as tasteful as building a house bar into a Gothic cupboard. With neon lamps.

Let me go.

Never.

I have to drink a schnaps now. Do you want one?

You can hunt me with schnaps.

So solid?

I have all of the other vices.

Maybe I could get a Whiskey Soda? Without whiskey.

Can you take something seriously?

Yes. You, for example.

Why?

You're the first woman I'd allow to drag me to the altar.

Excuse me, for that you need two.

Of course! You and me.

Or are you already with somebody?

And if I would?

I'd find that very rash.

You should always wait for the right one.

Do you have a job?

Oh yes. Here and there.

And is there somebody who cares for you?

Yes. Until yesterday.

A woman?

No. My father. But he threw me out because of bad moral conduct.

On your father!

You? - Mhhm.

What are you going to do now?

Now I hope somebody will improve me.

You are a very weird man, Mr... Dingbat.

Ohh, not this name.

Won't you just say Martin to me? That would improve my evening a great deal.

And slowly you have to get used to it.

To what?

One day we'll be a happy couple.

For that you need two... After all two.

Once there'll be a man in a robe before us.

For that you need two... At least two.

Once in not too distant days, we'll take a walk arm in arm.

And I'll push our little children's wagon...

I won't be asked at all?

Once we'll drive together happily through the country.

For that you'll need two... Always just two.

Wearing the same rings on the hand.

For that you'll need two. Just by the way.

May I remind your Majesty of the conference?

Huh? What's that?

Open!

Open!

Something has happened there. Service! Fast!

Fast, open! Something's happened in there. Fast!

Where's the Majesty?

Gone. - Where?

I don't know, maybe on ship in Riviera.

What are you doing here?

I've been locked. - What, what, who, where?

Prince had forgotten his bijuteriti. I should get.

Why didn't you?

Well, look, look. Tutto bijuteriti futschi.

What futschi? The jewels can't be futschi?

Yes, stolen. I want to go to Prince, suddenly laughing in the air.

Door closed, I can't get out.

He, you. Come here. You close all exits at once. Nobody leaves the building, got it?

Yes, Mr. Civil Servant.

Robbers in the castle!

Yes, Mr. Civil Servant.

I feel like my own great grandfather! Zack Zack!

The police will arrive every moment now.

You don't assume we have stolen the jewels?

I don't assume anything. I'm a civil servant.

Is everybody here? - Petermann's still at the gate.

Then get him, please.

Where is this Mr. Dingbat now?

I'll get him!

Martin!

Looking for something special? Can I help you?

All of the Prince's jewelry's been stolen! How did this plan get into your suitcase?

Oh well. Now you know everything.

Martin, the police could be here any moment.

If you took the jewelry, give it to me, I'll just say I found it.

Now you said Martin to me for the first time. And that to a notorious criminal.

So you have the jewelry?

I have a charming accomplice.

Fast, where's the jewelry?

Too late.

This whole thing seems more than Greek to me.

Schulze, write down, this is the upper corridor.

Here is the button of the criminal.

Here WC and bath. - Here!

That's got time. Here was the theft committed.

Where does this door lead to?

I've been sleeping there for years.

Maybe we should look inside?

You can certainly save that effort.

We have to check everything!

Excuse this.

Come on in, come on in. - We're coming in.

You've told us the Prince molested you here. - Yes.

I wanted to go to sleep, and...

When was that?

Twenty to eleven.

How do you know that?

The watch of my grandmother works very well. Do you want to see it?

What's with the watch? - Nothing. Can I offer you something?

Please.

Is that yours?

Aha. - No idea how that got in there.

And you don't know anything of that either?

Sorry, Countess. May I have an explanation for that?

Did you write that?

For you we'll do everything

I don't see a reason for humor, Countess.

Excuse me, but now I know who did all that. My ghosts, of course.

Yes? - I admit, it sounds improbable.

It does.

You have to believe me, it must really have been my ghosts. Hold that for a moment!

Hello! Say something.

You can't desert me now.

Come here! Hello?

Let's go. I'm speculating on paragraph 51.

The jewelry will be sent to Bonn, and you're under arrest.

But what motive do I have?

Your financial situation is well-known.

Isn't half of the castle distrained?

You had to lend money to exist.

And didn't you fear to lose the castle?

Wasn't it your rescue that the Prince came here?

And when he suddenly left you did the thing.

The motive is self explanatory. - A fool could understand that.

Come on. - Come on. - Come on.

Shissimatucki.

Uncle? - Why didn't you help the little one?

We couldn't. There were a lot of gendarmes up there.

Old robber's rule: If there's a cop, you stay out.

You're getting the little one in hot water.

Why? - They just detained her!

Tain! - Tain, tain.

And who has the jewelry? - The Baldy-Zack Zack.

Such a dirty trick! Come on Hugo, we'll get it back.

Uncle, wait!

Goodbye.

There's the car driving!

That's what it should.

But I'm the driver! - So what?

Follow them! Fast!

Come on, faster! - The car doesn't work well!

Well, you're driving with the handbrakes on!

I had loosened it... - What's it now?

It doesn't work!

Well, if you switch off the ignition...

Say, are you drunk? - No...

Are you mad?

Somebody tickles me!

Oh, nonsense. Who should tickle you here?

Brake! Now brake already!

It doesn't brake!

Please.

You?

One hand washes another.

This morning you wanted to help me, now I'm helping you.

But that's criminal!

I'll always be jailed for that. With you in a cell, of course.

Stop! Stop!

Today fresh mincemeat

Your papers, please.

I'm in a big hurry.

I can see that.

Here, my card. I'm traveling in a very important political mission.

Please, here, in my briefcase. What's that? Please, here... in my briefcase...

Huh...

The jewelry's gone!

There, there! - Stop! Stop!

From me you'd get a life sentence.

Don't kid around.

That was a declaration of love!

Nonsense. - Well, you...

Why me?

What you told them about your ghosts...

But there were ghosts!

Let's see if somebody believes you.

And how will that continue now?

We'll search for a hotel and then I'll talk to my attorney.

Where are we anyway?

No idea. Over there's a marker. I'll go and look.

That's kind of you, thanks.

Charlotte! Charlotte! Where are you going? What happened?

Now the essential, the toe of a clucking hen. And now two sips of mixed owl's spit.

Now, show, juice, your power!

The essential is the effect!

Look, look, look here! - That's, that's. that's great!

Now I'll let you try the stuff. Who of the gentlemen would like to risk it?

I'm starting to get respect of you.

The essential is the effect!

What's going on here?

Hugo, Uncle Max, come in! It's drink time here!

Hugo!

That's a thing, the drink from the cup.

Ow, ow, that's biting holes into my stomach.

This stuff tastes like dung!

That's the wine!

The essential, essential, essential is the effect!

So, stop kidding around. Do you have the jewelry?

We're gentlemen.

And where's the car of Zack Zack?

Down the drain.

You can't just take a foreign car!

Why? Never heard of a rental car?

I had something else... - Here, Uncle Max.

So, listen. The stuff... - Here's something.

The stuff has to be brought to the Prince immediately.

He can't say it's stolen then.

I'll do that. Where's the sweetheart?

Upstairs they say at the Riviera. Hopefully you'll find him.

What do you know about how fast I can find men.

Oh, my Hugo...

You're going to jail.

Yes! - No! - No!

Because of you the little one had to go to jail, so get her out again!

From where?

They took here to a godforsaken hicktown at the Rhine. What's it's name again?

Bonn!

Yes.

Take some of my schnaps. Just if. - Oh yes.

How do we get there?

Your problem!

Come on, Hugo!

Good day. Are you the owner?

Are you insane?

The store is temporarily closed. Hugo!

I'm embarrassed for my little Hugo. I want to clothe him new from head to toe.

And if thou'rt unwilling, then gun I'll employ!

Oh please! Should it be something special?

Thanks. We'll search something nice for ourselves. Come, little Hugo.

You know...

Uncle! - Don't talk so much, beauty sells better.

Because... clothes make the man, clothes make the man, one two three.

That's why people today buy nice clothes.

With the suit the perky makes his prey. And in the suit you don't see the scoundrel.

Because... clothes make the man, clothes make the man, clothes make the man.

Without threads you are air.

Look, don't I look chic? - No, in this one you look fat.

No, this one's beautiful and photogenic

I want to stand in front of myself on the street.

Look what's all the rage today.

You playboy who's elsewise so shy.

When the ladies see me they will throw away all other men from the spot.

Because... clothes make the man, clothes make the man, one two three.

That's why people today buy nice clothes.

With the suit the perky makes his prey.

Without suit the impression fulminates.

Because... clothes make the man, clothes make the man, clothes make the man.

Without threads you are air.

You've never seen such a thing before.

Oh you half of Kurt Jürgens.

Uncle, you idiot, one who meets me like that,

will give me 1000 M on the spot without signing.

But this will clothe us well, too.

Counts will envy us.

In this suit we're even smoother than them.

Long live the High Society.

Because... clothes make the man, clothes make the man, one two three.

That's why people today buy nice clothes.

With the suit the perky makes his prey.

And in the suit nobody sees the scoundrel.

Because... clothes make the man, clothes make the man, clothes make the man.

Without threads you are air... Morning.

Because... legs make the woman, legs make the woman, one two three.

That's why ladies today like to show the nice view.

Are you chic, you'll have luck, you'll make prey.

You'll always get the pay.

Because... clothes make the man, clothes make the man, clothes make the man.

Accelerate... and you're something!

Hello, laddie! Where can I find the Prince Kalaka here?

Not here. Ship very far. Should I show?

Come in. Show me everything.

Don't you think there's a little draft?

Matschki! Matschki!

Hello! Sweetie!

Just without appetite.

Darling!

Sweetie! Look what I'm bringing you!

Bijuteriti perditi!

I'm giving them to you as a reward!

My gold prince!

From now on this is my constant companion.

Where's that leading to?

To my cabin.

Oh, again to the cellar. - Yes, come.

Sweetie, you have to come to Bonn. The little one's in jail because of you.

And what do I get for that?

Do you have appetiti erotici? - Enormi.

Then wait a moment.

For me too, me too.

No, I don't need you to be psychic.

Two gentlemen want to talk to you, please. But visiting time only 5 minutes.

You shouldn't have brought me here.

I don't want anything to do with you!

Now listen, Charlotte.

Please, I want back to my cell.

But it's sad because of the wasted visiting time.

Charlotte. I've brought Mr. Horn for you, he's the best attorney I know.

I'm advising Mr. Hartog for a long time now.

Dr Horn says, too, you should insist on it being ghosts!

If I defend you you'll believe yourself you're a little insane.

Would you please leave me alone now?

But Charlotte...

You've abused my hospitality, you've made fun of my affection.

You've played with me like a cat with a mouse.

Now be quiet for a moment. - I won't even think of it!

Now listen to me already!

But I don't want to!

Gosh! I love you. And who wants to have your castle, that's my dad, not me.

Don't lie! You've creeped in like a mean spy.

Your sprained ankle, everything was a lie. I don't want to see you anymore!

The visiting time is almost over. Don't you want to reconcile with your husband?

This man is not my husband.

Oh, I thought... Because you fought so hard...

The Secretary of the State sees me deeply shaken.

No, the Prince is gone. What did you say?

No, the jewelry is gone as well. What did you say?

Oh, yes... The request for the dam. It's also gone.

I'm assuring though, you can be absolutely assured... Really... Hello? Hello? Hello?

He's hung up, hm?

How did you get in?

Isn't important.

Are you from the press?

Oh, we want to press you a little, yes.

When do you want to resign?

Resign? We've had far worse things without someone immediately resigning.

So, and now could the gentlemen please leave...

Not so rash, Uncle Zack Zack.

Who are you?

We are the little ghosts from the Spessart.

Breathe deep. Deep. Breathe deep.

Noo... My nice tie.

Now, listen, my friend.

Uncle, are those real? - Take them.

So, you're going with us to the coroner...

and telling him to release the little one from the jail immediately.

And without notice.

And if thou'rt not willing, you can smell that.

Uncle, why's he sweating so much?

Oh, is a little scared, hm? - The poor one.

Oh no, no, we're so comfortable together right now.

I'll bump you off!

Please. - Thanks.

Hands up or I shoot!

Well, pull the trigger, my son. But we have ours, too.

Oh no. My nice new suit.

Help, help, help!

Uncle, the bottle. I'm getting weak.

I'm feeling weak, too. Oh, I don't have it!

Arrest the two?

Who?

There are ghosts here!

Dinner.

Take it, I'm not hungry.

For you we'll do everything. Now the Countess gets nice food.

Please. - Thanks!

For you we'll do everything, you wonderful child.

Because we're totally in love with you!

You are... - Yes. I am Uncle Max.

So you are Hugo. - I am so friendly.

No, no. We'll rather not shake hands.

Ghosts always have a little insufficient temperature.

Where are my real guards though?

Asleep next door.

Will they wake up again? - Surely.

Deep sleep is very healthy.

You're doing funny things with me. But because of you I'm in that mess!

But that's why we're here!

Take a little bit of this sausage! - So delicate!

We'll get you out of here!

I don't want that! I'll arouse even more suspicions then.

Just put all the blame on us.

I'm doing that. But nobody believes me that you exist.

What?

They're just denying us? We're getting our buddies as reinforcement. We'll show them!

We'll see if there aren't ghosts in Bonn, ghosts in Bonn!

Ghosts in Bonn. Don't think our time is completely freed of ghosts.

We'll teach you, we'll teach you that!

I'm always saying: Youth has to be educated militantly.

Exactly what I'm saying! Maybe this little fighter-bomber?

Or... here: This delightful atom gun.

New Tax Office Building

Nonsense! Here are apartments!

Reelly Cheep!

Today payment of officer's pensions

- Good morning, General. - Morning, morning.

You don't want to tell us that there are ghosts in the FRG!

Yes!

There are no ghosts here!

We'll see if there aren't ghosts in Bonn. Now you're hopefully certain of that!

Attention, please!

After repeated... psychological analysis I have definitely found out that the accused

is a person of female sex.

Now, look here. You know this guy, don't you?

And you know the jewelry.

In 30 minutes they're here. - State visit.

Be quiet!

I request to shortly suspend the hearing.

What? Who are you?

I am able...

We are able to bring the allegedly stolen jewelry to the Court in one hour.

Are we. Come!

Quiet! Now, please, quiet!

A state visit, a state visit, in our nice capital Bonn.

A state visit, a state visit, we all profit off that.

To coat and dressing with the finest clothes.

He'll be highly estimated from now on, even if someone says the opposite.

We like to feel set back to Kaiser Wilhelm's time.

At exactly 11:09 the Prince will arrive.

Yes, we know, know, know that. Now don't make such a hassle.

At exactly 11:10 the train will stand here.

Man, you cackle and flutter like a chicken. You can see I'm busy!

Weird that they play a march here.

And that they play every march so harshly.

What's this music? It sounds like war.

Sorry, I have to get through. An important reason, you understand.

You only can get through here at the end. It's barricaded, you can see.

You, should I murder you?

Here, you'll have a medal.

Won't happen, now stop it!

Be nice!

Won't happen, won't happen, now stop it!

Now let him through!

No! And if you scream even more! Now understand that!

You'll get a slap right away... little white mouse.

There's the train, there's the train. Where's my welcome bouquet now?

The bouquet, I lack the bouquet! Where is the damn bouquet?

Vivat, vivat, vivat, His Majesty, vivat vivat vivat!

Be welcomed in our Republic.

Vivat, vivat, vivat, His Majesty, vivat vivat vivat!

Canzoni boni. Grazi, Grazifique!

Away, away, away. All sheets away.

What's happening here, music's leader Schmidt?

Don't always make that boomba, here's a nice rumba. That carries the people away!

Where do you want to go with it?

There's an old people's home. They don't have one yet.

I'm asking you for the last time now.

Who are your accomplices, and where's the jewelry?

Thanks.

Hello!

She's got the jewelry!

Who are you?

I'm Kathrin Apfelböck.

Born?

1799.

Quiet!

You, don't fool around here. Have you been previously convicted?

Yeah, and how! 1827, I molested the miller's son. 1830...

If you want to kid me here, I'll arrest you.

Where'd you get the jewelry from?

From me. I'm the Prince Kalaka.

I thought you're the victim?

Nonono, I gave that stuff to her.

Nanana! But, the jewelry's been found in the room of the accused!

Who brought it there?

We did. - See?

Who are you?

Most honored.

Heard of the famous hold-up on the stagecoach in Sulzbach? That was us.

Back then it was in all newspapers. - Reviews were great!

The idea was his.

Isn't he nice? - My uncle.

He always wants to leave the good things for me.

Quiet! Or I'll have to empty the room! And you, go away immediately!

But we stole the jewelry!

So you admit that?

On our honor.

You're arrested then.

Thanks. Very nice.

Good day. - See you.

We are so free.

Come, please. - Thanks.

Ciao!

Your Highness, please allow me some questions.

But fast, a whole ministry's waiting for me with a treaty.

The treaty!

A treaty, a treaty, with words nice and light's splendor

A treaty, a treaty, builds bridges and brings money.

A treaty, a treaty, seals the project

Now we'll build your dam

The people will accumulate at the dam

and look proudly on their dam

and now that's perfect.

May I congratulate Your Highness and ask...

when our country will have the building costs of 5 milliards at its disposal.

At its disposal? - Yes.

I thought I'd get the money!

Watch out, Miss!

Charlotte! Child! Good you're back!

Was it bad in jail? I was in jail, too, but only for a day.

Then it turned out that my husband really had a fungus poisoning.

No, don't go in. In there is Mr. Hartog!

Who? - Hartog!

Oh, I'll show him.

You are Mr. Hartog?

I'm pleased to finally meet you.

The pleasure is very one-sided..

Don't you want to sit down?

If I'm still allowed to use one of your chairs.

Na, well, is it me who has the debts or you?

My father made the debts.

If you'd been intelligent, you wouldn't have accepted the heirship.

But I'm not intelligent!

And I hate people who think of nothing but money, money, money!

As a businessman I can't afford to have feelings.

You can see that.

You can see that in your son as well. - Why?

Instead of running after your stupid money, you should've educated him decently!

I say!

What's become of him?

A roamer! A dodger! A playboy! And he's dishonest, too!

Yes! Or don't you call it dishonest if somebody creeps in,

makes you ogle, just to get the castle for himself and his father?

Now let me say something too! My son always wanted to talk the castle out of me.

Why?

Instead of helping his moneygrubbing father he was on your side from the first day on.

Why are they so quiet now?

Maybe she's gone to his throat already!

Is that really true?

Excuse me. Can we take the chairs now?

The furniture stays here. And bring the rest back, too.

Oh, thanks!

I love when people don't know what they want.

Can't we invite you for lunch?

I actually wanted to be home at 12 and it's 12:30 already.

But I really have to go now.

You can certainly stay another hour.

You'll take a cup of coffee with us?

Will you join us for dinner now?

Thanks, with pleasure.

I hope it doesn't trouble you if I'm sleeping here.

Oh, of course not.

Cheery, Mr. Hartog and good hunting.

Thank you.

Charlotte, give us one more. - No, no.

I thought you wanted to go hunting in five hours?

You're just getting a calm hand with schnaps.

No, no, Your sister's quite right. Let's go to sleep now.

You'll get the best room.

Oh, thank you, my child.

And don't worry because of Martin. I'll talk to him tomorrow.

Good night! - Good night.

Don't trouble you, I'll bring him upstairs. - Sleep well!

Just go to sleep, auntie, I'll do that.

Yes, my child. - Good night.

You'll need two for that... Only two.

You'll need two for that... Only two.

Once in days not far away, we'll take a walk arm in arm.

And I'll push our buggy.

A little children's wagon.

Hello!

Please, don't send me away. It's not my fault my father took your furniture.

He was gone when I came and nobody knows where he is. But please, believe me...

Don't you want to come in?

Or have you sprained your ankle again?

Huh, the furniture's still here!

Maybe your father has changed his mind.

Never. You don't know the pig head.

See, you've gotten a cold!

Of course, in this weather. You'll drink a Whiskey Soda now. Without Soda.

That's out of the question.

You'll drink it. As medicine.

You'll see the outcome of that...

Drink!

But only because it's you.

Will it always be the way you want it to be?

Why always?

Do you think we could do with 600 M a month? There's a vacancy for a chief...

You'd do that?

That's the only thing I've learned.

But we'll only be able to afford a very small apartment.

And what's going to happen to my horses?

They'll sleep on the balcony.

Do you hear that? They're back!

Who? - My ghosts!

Now stop this nonsense.

Come, I'll show you.

No. I'll rather drink another whiskey.

You'll see.

Ha, Strike!

Psst, hey! Can you do me a favor?

Everything for you!

We'd even steal horses for you.

Just show Martin that you exist.

Ha, we'll haunt him...

He'll be flabbergasted!

When should we start? - Let's say... midnight?

All right. - Thank you!

The good old times... - Martin!

I'd never thought this stuff tastes so good. - Don't drink more!

There's nothing left anyway...

Why'd you switch off the light?

You can't sleep now! It's witching hour!

What?

Witching hour!

Yeah. Good night.

Now come on, hurry!

Don't be scared, Countess. It's us.

Don't we look nice? That's what you imagined, right?

What? He's sleeping! Well, we'll wake him...

Will you be afraid now!

Give me your hand, my life...

Ow! That hurts...

Who rides there so late through the night dark and dreary?

It's Kathrin, the greedy child.

Now don't haunt so Topsy-turvy! Everybody haunts at my command!

Stretch and bend...

Hello, sweetie!

That's typically Kathrin! When she sees a man she loses her head!

No point. He's sleeping.

And we're haunting so much.

We're disgraced... to the bones.

Ow, my rheumatism. I won't haunt any longer.

You haunt on!

Now don't be frightened, Countess.

Heads up!

That's mean! We didn't talk about that.

Give it to me, pass it, pass it!

Now, in a never seen before combination, the ball passes the midfield.

Hugo at the right wing, he dribbles, he dribbles..

Now shoot! Why doesn't he shoot?

There, he's kicking into the inside and now Jockl has the ball!

Now, shoot, shoot, Shissimatucki... And now into...

GOAL!

I'll be right back. I'm just getting a beer.

We're sorry, Countess. We can't do more. - Finishing time.

Ah! Charlotte... A ghost!

Please, Mr. Jackson, please.

Uh, Miss. Baron Teckel, special duties. Will you please tell them we're here, yes?

Please, Mr. Jackson, yes?

The stuff you dream when you're drunk.

A guy without a head, and the others playing soccer with it.

You didn't dream that! My ghosts did that!

Oh, Charlotte. Don't drive me insane.

All right. There weren't any ghosts.

I thank you. - You're welcome.

Come in.

How is he?

Charlotte, he wants to get the furniture again!

You monster! Don't you have any compassion at all?

How do you speak to your father?

You should eat a pickled herring once.

I don't want herring, I want you to leave Charlotte alone!

Well, she owes me 100,000 Mark!

I'll pay you back! 20 M every month.

Thank you.

Countess, there's an American and he wants to talk to your ghosts.

Say that again, but louder. Listen!

There's an American who wants to talk to your ghosts.

The last rest, gentlemen.

Come on, everybody upstairs!

There's somebody waiting for us.

He can have everything from me.

Come! He's from America!

Oh... Boundless possibilities!

Maybe that's our chance to do something good.

Stop, I get the first one. I'm looking like something at least.

You idiots! We can wait for the flowers to bloom now.

Well, I'd like to... How do you say that... engage your ghosts.

Mr. Jackson's here by order of the American government.

Thank you. Could you call your ghosts, please?

We're already here.

Our juice is just gone, so we can't show ourselves.

Oh, there's a lady as well.

Yes, darling...

Don't you want to sit down?

Please, sit down.

Well... Would you do something good for humankind?

Exactly what we need. - That's what we're waiting for.

What... would you pay for that?

Well, what did you think of?

20,000 for everyone. A total of 100,000. The dog's free.

You won't take money for that!

It's not for us.

It's for you, Countessy.

Now leave him the little pleasure.

We'll do everything for you.

With pleasure!

Well... But it's not really safe.

What can happen to you as a ghost?

I thank you in the name of Werner von Braun. Good luck.

Shissimatucki. - Shissimatucki.

Gentlemen, please fasten your seat belts and stop smoking now.

We'll land on the moon in a few minutes. We hope you had a nice flight.

Please.

Faster! Faster! There's a Russian who wants to overtake us!

Notice of Explorer 175: German ghosts conquer moon!

The End