Original subtitles

STARRING: KIM JEONG-NAN

CHIN KANG, LEE HAE-RYONG

STARRING: MA JU-LUNG, MIAO TIAN

LIN CHAO-HSIUNG, DEAN SHEK

JULIE LEE CHI-LUN, LEE MAN-TAI

COSTARRING: KAO CHIANG, GAM SAI-YUK,

CHIANG CHI-PING, CHUI YUEN

WU TE-SHAN, HO KANG, YU BONG, LI MIN-LANG

CREDITS DESIGNER: CHEN LAO-SAN

PLANNING: LUI SAM-MIN

PRODUCTION MANAGER: LEE SIU-CHEUNG

SCREENWRITER: TANG MING-CHI

CINEMATOGRAPHER: CHRIS CHEN CHING-KUI

FOCUS PULLERS: SU DENG-YAN, CHEN WEI-AN

LIGHTING: CHOI SAM-KAT

MAKEUP: CHEUNG SOK-CHU HAIR: SAM BIU-HOI

COSTUMES: LI YAN-HONG

SCRIPT SUPERVISOR: LU SHUN-KENG

ART DIRECTOR: CHOU CHI-LIANG

ASSISTANT DIRECTORS: SAM YUE-LEUNG, MA TAI-SUNG

MUSIC: FRANKIE CHAN FAN-KEI

EDITOR: VINCENT LEUNG WING-CHAN

DUBBING: WONG PING FOLEY: ZHOU CHIN

WOODEN DUMMY

HITTING THE MINI WOODEN DUMMY

You've gotta be kidding me!

NOW HIRING

-Look! What is that? -They're hiring a bodyguard!

You need to know kung fu though!

BODYGUARD WANTED AT FU WAI (TIGER POWER) MANSION

-Make way. -Hey!

Out of my way.

Do you know kung fu?

YANWU (WUSHU DEMONSTRATION) CENTER

FU WAI MANSION

Hey, hey! What are you doing here?

Yeah, what are you doing?

I'm applying for the job!

How dare you try to hit me!

Why did you come here?

Why did you come here?

-I'm here to be the bodyguard! -Do you even know what a bodyguard does?

Do you even know what a bodyguard does?

What do they do?

You see? A bodyguard keeps the yard clean and sweeps the fioor!

You're killing me!

Don't you know who I am?

Don't you know who I am?

I'm here to be the new bodyguard!

Are you sure you qualify?

Can you do that?

Trivial.

You've gotta straighten it first. Then I'll show you!

All right.

King Kong, he ran away!

Running away? Let's see where you run to!

-Don't run! -Don't come any closer!

Trying to run away?

Why you...

Have an egg!

Eat it!

Have some more!

Damn you!

NOW HIRING: KUNG FU INSTRUCTORS, HANDYMAN

NOW HIRING: KUNG FU INSTRUCTORS, HANDYMAN

HUNG HEI HOUSE

Hold it!

What are you doing here?

NOW HIRING: KUNG FU INSTRUCTORS

What?

HANDYMAN

This side.

What's going on?

Manager Wan. He's here for the handyman job.

Yes.

I'm unfamiliar with this brother's name.

Gong... Tou!

So your name is Gong.

Work hard here and I'll take good care of you.

-Lau San. -Yes, sir.

-Take him to his room. -Yes, sir.

Come with me.

-How dare you! -Yeah!

-What's up with you? -What's there to see?

-They're something, aren't they? -My legs buckled.

-Pal, your room is just over there. -Okay.

Manager Wan has specially ordered not to disturb the guest in that room.

Brother Lau, so what sort of guest is in there?

There's a witch living in there.

Run!

Right. You stay here.

-If you need anything, just look for me. -Okay.

That last room is the kitchen.

If you're hungry, you can go over there and help yourself.

Got it, thanks!

Now get some rest.

-That's your bed. -Thanks, thank you very much!

What's up with you?

Asshole! Let me teach you a lesson!

Kick his ass!

Missed!

Go to hell!

-Oh, no, I need to shit! -You need to shit?

Go shit yourself!

What the hell?

Get him!

I fiy to the East and to the West.

Who's coming up?

For you! And you! And you!

You too!

Outrageous!

Who took my chicken drumsticks and steamed buns?

They were here just now!

Damn kid, so it was you!

I'm outta here!

After him! Hurry!

Stop!

Your subordinate pays respect to the leader.

Wan Tong-kwan, surely you're aware that my "Five Poisons" Stance cannot be seen?

Your subordinate is guilty and deserves to die.

I ask for mercy from the Ieader.

Report!

Manager Wan, that rascal has escaped!

-Do you know this man's background? -We tested him earlier.

He doesn't look like a martial artist or belong to any clan.

All the better.

But you must still be careful in the future.

Our rivals have their eyes set on the Longevity Jade

and the Nine Loops Soul-Reviving Pill.

Any news from Lau Sam?

Yes, I received his secret report three days ago.

Fong Wei, the head of the Shenzhou Escort, is personally protecting them.

They will be well-guarded along the way.

There seems to be a powerful enemy coming, and robbery is a constant concern.

Therefore, Fong Wei and his men are only taking the main route.

They should arrive at Feng County in three days.

Very well.

You and I will be on the road tomorrow, rushing to Feng County to meet him.

We must reach them before others on the road get there first.

Your subordinate understands.

I'm starving! Gotta find something to eat.

Chivalrous Lau, please spare my life!

I, Si Tai-Chung, have never crossed paths with you!

Why are you set to kill me?

Shut up!

Si Tai-Chung, though you and I have never met,

I know you've been raping and murdering women in Sanxiang for far too long!

You've been sought by authorities for years.

Now that our paths have crossed, your evil deeds end today!

You deserve it!

Die!

You!

Want to get away?

WANTED

Chivalrous Lau!

Chivalrous Lau!

5 TAELS OF SILVER FOR THE CAPTURE OF SI TAI-CHUNG

Five hundred taels?

I'm gonna be rich!

IMPARTIALITY AND INTEGRITY

-For me? -Yes. Please count it.

-This is for you. -You're too kind! You're too kind!

-I feel embarrassed. -Don't be. This is only fair and square.

-Fair and square? -Yeah!

Just take it.

Thank you.

This thief has been hunted in the county for a long time,

but has always evaded arrest.

He lost today at the hands of a hero.

Commendable.

For this magistrate, this is a very...

Joytul event!

You fiatter me.

It's all thanks to your monetary power.

You're too modest, hero!

However, I don't think I know your name yet?

Me?

I...

Your Honor...

So you're Lau Yu-Lung,

the world-famous master of the "Magic Whip"!

-You deserve the highest praise! -You fiatter me.

If there's nothing else, Your Honor, I'll take my leave now.

If you please.

Thank you, Your Honor.

Thank you, Your Honor.

Welcome!

Wel - Welcome, Chivalrous Lau!

My - My name is Ga - Ga Chung!

This - This fellow is the most

respectable man in this county.

Master Cheng!

Master Cheng would...

I'll tell him! All three of us are the most respectable around here.

We'd like to invite you to Chun Fung Villa.

He would like to take you there for - for -

For a drink?

Yes! For - For a drink!

-Fine, and for a meal too, I reckon? -Yes! If you please.

Be careful!

If you please.

What a rascal.

He dares to take the name of The Magic Whip.

This beggar will watch what tricks you come up with.

Everyone's got to answer nature's call.

What are you looking at?

So you're the hero, huh?

Sure looks like it!

What's it to you?

Nothing.

That's good then! I am warning you.

I used to hang around with

quite a few folks of my kind and I have a few tricks up my sleeves!

Then can you show me some of your skills?

Watch out, kiddo.

Don't blink!

Well?

A good man with great style.

However, I don't know if there was any real kung fu.

Also, is there anything in this pocket?

You kidding? Think I'm a fake?

You really are rich?

-Here you go. -Thanks!

-What are you doing? -Sorry!

What's that all about?

I got itchy after a while, so I showed my skills.

Hey, what was your trick just now?

I'll tell you, but you can't tell anyone.

Imperial Consort's Shooting Arrow!

-Imperial Consort's Shooting Arrow? -Yeah!

-Does it work? -Of course it works!

Here, let me show you.

You can protect the top, you can't protect the bottom.

It's hard to defend.

Hard to defend? Yeah!

-Hard to defend! -Thank you.

Remember it!

Hard to defend?

Pal, come in and take a seat! Over here!

Isn't that the rascal, Gong?

-Get him! -Right!

-Hey, are you blind? -It's your lucky day!

-Chase him! -Right!

Don't run!

Manager Wan, what is it you want?

I've been looking for you.

I get it, you want money?

Have it all!

Rascal, it's only been three days and I have a newfound respect for you.

This gentleman accepts the filial respect given.

But you still have to see our leader.

Is it that weird woman?

That's right, but your life is at her mercy.

Who does she think she is to decide whether I live or die?

How dare you hit me?

Imperial Consort's Shooting Arrow!

Come again if you have the guts.

Outrageous! You hit me? I'll take your life!

Don't come over! I won't be nice!

Come on!

Don't come over, or I really won't be nice!

Dead?

What do you want?

Don't get in my way! Otherwise, I'll send you to join him in Hell!

Such a big mouth.

You killed a member of my Five Poisons Sect. I won't spare you!

Trying to scare me? I'm used to being scared since childhood!

Don't you dare!

How come?

What other magic weapons do you have? Show me.

What other ones? Imperial Consort's Shooting Arrow!

Why isn't it working? Here!

Elder, save me quick, please!

Beggar, it's none of your business. Get the hell out of here!

It is my business, so I can't!

Where else can you go?

You can't run this time!

Missed!

Thank you, Elder.

So a beggar like me is an elder now?

At this rate, I'll be called Grand Elder Master next!

Elder, you hide your true identity well. I, Gong Tou, am very impressed.

When did the hero change his name?

How come I didn't know about it?

Why don't we throw away this harmful thing?

Someone's there!

Don't run! Hey!

Where are you running to? I'll let you try my Magic Whip!

Hey, Elder!

Elder!

Elder!

Why are you following me?

Elder, I want you to be my master.

Absurd!

How could the hero of the Magic Whip kneel down and beg me?

I've lost all the respect I have for you!

Look at you!

I think you should be a hero of blunders!

I don't want to be a hero anymore. I'd rather be a disciple of EIder.

I won't accept such an unpromising disciple!

I'm sure I saw him heading this way.

Damn beggar! Who do you think you are?

Up yours!

I don't want to Learn kung fu from you!

Did you hear me?

If you have the guts, come out!

I don't need to Learn kung fu from you!

Damn beggar, what's so great about you?

I have silver!

I don't believe that I won't find a better master than you!

How dare you act snobbish in front of me!

Your kung fu is shit! What's so great about it?

There are many people in the world who know kung fu!

I'm mad now. I don't want to Learn your kung fu anymore.

You don't have to hide from me anymore. I'm off!

I'm off!

Hold it!

Elder...

No, no! Master! Master!

I dare not be a master.

You want an old beggar with third-rate kung fu to be your master?

Master.

I deserve to be slapped.

Your disciple was just joking. Please forgive me, Master.

Say no more!

I would never teach such a disobedient apprentice.

This beggar wasn't seeking a disciple, but for Lau Yu-lung.

Who'd have thought I'd have bumped into an impostor?

Master, so you know everything.

I even know when you piss and shit!

"A man should not be ashamed to look into the sky."

The most contemptible thing in this beggar's life

is a disciple who pilfers and fools the world by usurping a good name.

Get up!

Have you ever learned kung fu?

I haven't.

Doesn't look like you have. Just as I thought.

I have a condition.

What condition?

You do something for me first and I will teach you kung fu.

Okay! I really want to be good.

Then it's a deal.

Here. This is a random token of mine.

Tomorrow at noon, you'll go to that wasted house in Feng County.

There'll be someone named Fong Wei there. He'll take care of you.

But remember,

you and I must not address ourselves as master and disciple afterwards.

Perchance we'll meet again.

Guest! If you please!

We'll rest here for a while.

Hey, we'll all just rest here!

-Waiter, prepare something for them. -Right!

-Please come in. -Okay.

-Guest, what would you like? -Good wine and good food. Hurry!

Dad, setting out on a journey isn't like being at home. Don't drink too much.

How can a daughter try to control her father?

Dad will look for a fierce man to take care of you.

Big Brother Miu, look at that guy.

He's so annoying. Keeps staring at me.

Do you want your senior to teach him a lesson?

Forget it. There's no malice in others.

Besides, you were born so beautiful, so people will look.

Dad, you always make fun of me!

-Tin Sun, have a drink with me. -Dad!

This toast is for the arduous trip.

-Why should I drink three glasses? -You lost! Why shouldn't you drink three?

What if I don't drink?

-Wanna fight? -Yeah, so?

-Hey, you hit me? -I can hit you anytime!

Trying to steal something?

What proof do you have? You accusing me of being a thief?

Hey, don't try to frame someone!

-Why did you hit me? -Don't fight.

This is all a misunderstanding.

Don't make a fuss with the three people over there.

Let's have a drink!

-He said I was stealing things! -He shouldn't try to frame us!

Forget it, forget all of it. Come on, have another drink!

Drink, drink!

Yes! It's all been a misunderstanding.

Don't be angry!

Thank you, hero, for coming to the rescue!

What's wrong with you?

No - Nothing.

Thank you!

Let's have a drink when you come back.

Let's drink!

Here, cheers.

-Waiter! The bill! -Coming!

-It's on me this time. -Fine.

Maybe next time.

Guest, that will be nine coins and five cents.

Sir.

Is credit okay?

Credit? Not when you eat so many things!

If everyone else acts like you do, then we'll be out of business!

It's just that I didn't bring any money with me today.

-Didn't bring money? -Gentlemen.

You deliberately came here to drink and make trouble,

and now you want a free meal.

But it doesn't matter.

It also doesn't matter if you can't pay. But you must take off your clothes.

Hey, he wants us to undress.

-You really want us to undress? -Of course.

Fine.

Let's go!

Don't run!

-Boss, they got away! -Outrageous!

-Waiter! -Coming!

Bill, please!

That'll be six coins and two cents.

If you have no loose silver or gold ingots,

our shop can change funds for you. We won't overcharge you.

-Guest, what are you doing? -I...

"All men are brothers."

"After you spend all your money, it will return."

This little brother's tab will be paid for by this little sister.

You can keep the change.

Thanks!

Hey, wait for me!

Leaving just like that?

Thank you, miss.

-Leaving? I won't see you out. -Farewell.

-Waiter, bill please. -Coming!

Silly girl, what the hell were you doing?

Dad, this is called "Giving someone a dose of his own medicine."

Lady Fong was something else. I admire you!

Your joke went too far.

Did you know who that was?

Who was he?

Although Dad doesn't know

how he is related to your uncle, there must be a connection.

Dad, how do you know?

Dad saw your uncle's personal token just now.

Tin Sun, we'll be setting off soon. You settle everything here.

We'll rest early and leave tomorrow morning.

So stinky!

Long time no see, hero.

Your farts arrive before you do!

That's how I get people's attention.

Well? Did the moves I taught you last time work?

They're as bad as your farts!

-Did they really not work? -Of course!

All right.

Okay then, I'll teach you two more moves today.

No need! I don't have any money today.

It doesn't matter. You were very Ioyal last time.

You even treated me to wine!

So I'll teach you two moves today for free!

Do these two moves really work?

Of course they work! Here, watch!

Watch carefully.

-What's this move called? -Securing the Country With One Finger.

Securing the Country With One Finger?

Come up.

You try.

-Securing the Country With One Finger? -Yeah, come on! Try it!

Leg!

Keep your waist straight, look ahead!

Hit me. Come on.

-Hit me. -Hit you?

Hit me!

What's this move called?

The Overlord Lifts the Cauldron.

The Overlord Lifts the Cauldron!

The Overlord Lifts the Cauldron.

Securing the Country With One Finger. The Overlord Lifts the Cauldron.

Brother, talk about bad luck!

Who would've known that old guy...

So, it's you again!

So what? Wanna fight?

Kid, you've got some guts.

Give us back our money, you thief!

What money? Mine's all gone too!

Still pretending, huh?

Come on, pay us back our money now!

What money?

Don't let him slip away. After him!

-Hey, come down! -You come up.

-Come down! -You come up!

Get down here!

How about I meet you halfway?

Don't do anything stupid! Aren't you scared of my Magic Whip?

Boss, I think he's scared of us.

Me? Scared of you?

Don't come over here!

Fine! Let me show you two moves!

What moves?

Don't blink!

Have you seen this before?

No, I haven't.

You haven't? How pathetic.

Let me show you my new moves!

And this move is?

Securing the Country With One Finger!

This move is called Hitting the Nose With Two Fingers.

Motherfucker! I've got another one!

Show us all you've got!

One Finger. The Overlord Lifts the Cauldron.

The Overlord Lifts the Cauldron my ass! It's whipping time! Watch me!

Try my whip!

After him!

"The river water doesn't intrude the well water".

Chivalrous Fong, you better not interfere

and ruin our harmonious relationship.

"Everything matters to a man of the world".

I have indeed encountered this little brother once.

Fong Wei, others may be afraid of you. We're not!

That's right, we want to "learn" from you!

Don't move! Get going!

Stop!

Catch!

Here's your money back.

-We'll get you back for this! -You'll see.

Let's go!

-I'm Fong Wei. May I ask your name? -I'm Gong Tou.

So you're the one I've been looking for.

I've been searching for you for a long time.

Sure enough, Hero Gong was the person recommended by Uncle.

Do you know where he is now?

I don't know either. He just told me to listen to you.

He told me nothing else.

Very well.

Hero Gong, do you know what my guard is secretly escorting?

I don't.

It's been said that the Longevity Jade can cure all poisons.

And the Nine Loops Soul-Reviving Pill strengthens the body and promotes life.

These rare treasures certainly attract the attention of underworld figures.

No wonder Uncle seeks Hero Gong's help.

I didn't expect my daughter to make such a joke out of you today.

There'll be many future situations when we'll rely on you to help us.

Here's your money back.

Of course.

We're all friends! From now on, your business is my business.

Hero Gong is such a straight talker. Good!

Let's go back to the inn and discuss more.

Hero Gong, you should rest early. We'll depart first thing tomorrow morning.

Master Escort, please.

Who's there?

Bitch! Why did you slap me?

I want to ask you, where did this whip come from?

My whip, eh?

I am "The Whip Hero"! See this here? This is my trademark whip.

So you're "Whip Hero" Lau Yu-lung?

At your service!

You slapped me again!

Damn.

Talk! Why are you impersonating Lau?

What impersonating? I am the one and only Whip Hero -

I must be seeing a ghost!

Tell me now! Did you kill the Whip Hero?

None of your damn business! Who are you to him anyway?

He's my brother.

How could I kill him with such bad kung fu?

-The killer was - -Who was it?

"The Playboy General" Si Tai-chung!

It was Si Tai-chung?

I saw the two of them fighting near the South Gate Hill.

I saw them both with my own eyes!

At that time, they...

How do I know you're telling the truth?

I respect your brother Lau as a hero. I buried him myself.

I'm not Iying to you! If I am, then I'll die a horrible death!

I'm telling the truth, really.

So that means my brother...

Lady, life and death, poor or rich, it's all destined.

A man like your brother, although dead, died with honor.

Lady, you...

My brother was a true hero.

I am warning you. Do not impersonate him ever again!

Hero!

Who's there?

Who is it?

If you've got the guts, come out!

Come out!

-You saw it all? -Just a little.

A little bit.

Outrageous! Let me tell you.

I don't bully women, that's why I let her go.

So you weren't afraid of her then?

Of course not! I kill people as I would a chicken. Me, afraid of her?

That's odd.

Didn't I hear you just say,

"I'm not lying to you! If I am, then I'll die a horrible death!"?

Are you pulling my leg? I'll beat the shit out of you.

Whoa! Hero, your kung fu is god-awful!

Come, let me teach you two more moves.

Forget it! The two moves you taught me last time?

Securing the Country With One Finger and Overlord Lifting the Cauldron!

I pointed for a long time but others didn't get it!

And I got my ass kicked as soon as I made a move.

You're such a fool.

The genius of martial arts lies in its use.

The moves themselves are lifeless. Flexibility is the most important.

Learn more moves, but also practice more.

When confronting the enemy, be calm and fight them accordingly.

Only then can we overcome the opponent.

Understand?

Just a little bit.

Good enough.

Show me those two moves now.

-Now? -Yes, now!

-Watch out! -Show me.

The Overlord Lifts the Cauldron!

See? I've got you now.

Securing the Country With One Finger!

-See? -You've got something there.

That's what I meant by fiexibility. Got it?

Okay, I'll teach you two more moves.

Practice them well!

You owe me more money for wine now!

How was that?

Keep practicing. That's all for now!

Makes sense.

I can't be that stupid anymore.

Miss Fong, isn't it beautiful here?

Beautiful, my ass!

Rotten grass and stones everywhere. What's so pretty about them?

-You're so vulgar! Such profane words! -Pardon me.

Talking to a man like him is like "playing the lute to a cow"!

"Playing the lute to a cow"? I'm not a cow, and you're not a lute.

You and I aren't that much different. The big fool laughs at the little fool!

-Miss, what are you laughing at? -I'm laughing at his strange metaphor.

You may not be aware, lady. The scenery here has always been ugly,

but it becomes beautiful the moment you're here.

There are no fiowers here, but your smile is prettier than a fiower!

There are no birds, but your voice is lovelier than birdsong!

This big fool is incapable of appreciating it.

Acting like a snob and saying, "Miss Fong, isn't it beautiful here?"

Are you for real?

Everyone, be careful. Looks like it's an ambush.

Master Escort, there seems to be an ambush ahead.

Be careful!

Halt!

Where are you from, friends?

I am Fong Wei. Let us pass, and I promise you riches in return.

Leave us the treasures and we'll let you pass!

What treasures are you talking about? Who is your master?

Hand over the Longevity Jade and Nine Loops Soul-Reviving Pill!

-Watch out! -Otherwise -

"Hide the head and show the tail." How cowardly!

And who the hell are you?

I'll tell you! I killed the "PIayboy General"!

If you've got guts, settle scores with me! I'm not scared of you!

Good, so you're the one!

I'm about to avenge my disciple. Prepare to die!

Daddy's afraid you won't manage!

You killed a few of my men. We now have a score to settle!

Enough nonsense! Let's start!

Dad!

Dad! Are you all right? Dad!

Miu Chun-fa from The Five Poisons Sect?

Miu Chun-fa, you and I have always been well-watered.

Why do you want to take advantage of the fire?

The Longevity Jade has been the bane of our school.

Finders keepers. I'm determined to win today.

Miu Chun-fa, understand this.

Fighting me won't be enough.

Still trying to brag?

You're in hot water yourself.

Lie down obediently and listen to this old lady's mercy.

We don't want to be your enemy. But we can't give the treasures up.

You two aren't worthy of dealing with me. Get lost!

Lady, take the treasures away while they're fighting. Hurry!

What treasures?

The Longevity Jade and Nine Loops Soul-Reviving Pill!

I have no idea. Dad never told me.

What now? Which box are they in?

I don't think they're in any one of them.

-Treat Master Escort first. -Okay!

-Big Brother Miu, we'll be leaving now. -Hurry up!

Hey, find some place to hide. Quickly!

Hold it!

They've run away!

Nothing.

-Split up and go after them! -Aye!

You're really good!

Let's go!

Hold it!

You two bastards wanna end up like him?

You wanna die!

Go!

You two leave with Master Escort now. I'll try and get those two treasures back.

Big Brother Miu, how's Dad's injury?

Master Escort's internal injury is very serious.

I'm afraid he won't get better unless we have Lui Bat-fung's antidote.

Miss Fong.

I started all this. I'll go and find it.

Big Brother Gong, you can't go. If you go, you'll die in vain.

But I can't bear to see Master Fong suffer like this.

Big Brother Miu, is there any other cure?

There is. Wu Tang's "Siu Wan Pill".

Good. I'll head to Wu Tang to get the cure.

Master Fong will be in your care.

Big Brother Gong!

You must be careful. Please hurry back.

I will.

Help!

Help!

Help!

Help!

Consider yourself lucky that I have my eyes on you.

You pervert! I'll fight you!

You'll fight me?

-Damn brat, what do you want? -Me?

-What did you want? -None of your business! Get lost!

-You get lost! -Guess you don't wanna live!

Where are you going?

Catch me and I'll give you a jujube!

-Think you can run away? -Come up!

Get down, I dare you!

-Come up! -Get down now!

Get down? All right!

I swing, swing...

-"Man of A Thousand Faces" Yam Yat-foo? -Fake!

Yam Yat-foo! Don't run!

Elder!

Silly boy, there's poison on that dart!

Elder!

You still haven't given her the Hu Ming pills? Give her two!

What are you doing here?

-Master Fong got hurt. -Fong Wei's hurt? Who did it?

It was "Invincible Iron Palm" Lui Bat-fung.

Then why didn't you stop him?

How could I do that? You know my kung fu isn't good enough.

Bullshit!

Why didn't you practice the moves that young beggar taught you?

Do you know who he is?

Let me tell you. He is an apprentice of mine.

I'm not bluffing. He really knows his shit!

Go on! Seeing you makes my eyes sore.

Go give Fong Wei two Hu Ming pills. I'll be back soon.

Here.

This is my only belonging. The Conquering the Dragon Manual.

You better look out for yourself!

Yes! Thank you, Elder!

Big Brother Miu!

What are you doing here?

I've had enough of being mistreated throughout this journey.

"An honest person does not act surreptitiously."

I don't want to be your head security now.

So you're saying you're going after those treasures too?

Correct.

Miss Fong, if you won't hand over the Longevity Jade and the pill,

then forgive me if I...

You - What do you want?

I want the treasures.

-Tell me! Where are they hidden? -I don't know!

You don't know?

Then I won't have an explanation for the Five Poisons Sect Master.

So you're a spy from the Five Poisons Sect!

-Tell me! -I won't!

Let her go.

Damn kid, get lost!

Big Brother Gong, turns out he's a spy from Five Poisons!

Don't be afraid. Daddy's here!

So you're a bad guy too!

Don't run, you!

Big Brother Gong!

-I never knew your kung fu was so good! -I'm fiattered.

What took you so long?

Sorry. Something happened on my way back, so I was late.

-You are... -I'm Lau Gim-ping, Miss Fong.

Hero Gong was helping me,

hence the delay in coming back.

Please forgive me, Miss Fong.

You're too kind!

Thanks for clearing that up.

Lady Fong, my sister-in-law has always admired your father,

so I came here to join your rank of security escorts.

-Thank you, Miss Lau. -Not at all.

The life-saving pills! Give them to Master Fong quick!

Big Brother Gong.

-You're up early. -Yes.

I was worried, so I couldn't sleep all night.

Don't worry!

Even if my life will be at risk, I will protect you and your father!

-You're practicing? -Yes.

I was afraid that you'd be hungry, so I got some food.

-Thank you, sister-in-law. -Thanks.

Stop calling me that!

Lady Fong, you must get out of here now.

Attack!

Both of you, go now!

You dare to fight me?

Guess you can't wait to join Wai Tin-ying in Hell!

So you're the one who killed my brother!

Let me kill you first! I'll find those two girls sooner or later.

What are you bragging about? You can't even beat me.

I'll settle the score with you Later!

Uncle.

Who's there?

Chief Fong...

Lady Fong!

-You've woken up? -Yes.

Dad!

Dad, you don't know how much I worried about you.

Why worry? With Hero Gong here, you needn't be worried.

He did well along the way.

This lady is...

Dad, this is Lady Lau. She's here to help.

How do you do, Uncle Fong?

How do you do?

Dad,

Escort Miu turned out to be a spy from the Five Poisons Sect.

Really?

Where is our escort team now?

They should be near Fushan Ravine by now.

If I remember correctly,

after the ravine, the road should be wide open.

I doubt the robbers will dare to make their moves there.

Chief Fong, rest assured that

the treasures will be around as long as I am!

I, Gong Tou, won't let those thieves get what they want!

FUSHAN RAVINE

Damn old Fong!

We've now teamed up. Are you scared?

You've finally all come out.

Cut the crap. Hand over the treasures!

If you want it, come and get it.

That's right!

If you want to go to Hell, then come and get it!

Go on!

Go on!

There!

-Are you all right? -What are you doing?

AIlow me!

Rascal, eh?

Hey, what's with the stylish look?

Hey, duck!

-Rascal, your kung fu's getting better! -You fiatter me!

-Say, I have a few more moves here! -Really?

Hey, someone's attacking!

Stinks!

Hey, let's open the guarded boxes while they're occupied.

You can stop searching, idiots! They're here with me!

I'll throw them away so no one will get it!

Let's go get it! Hurry!

Hey, it's here!

Catch!

-What are you doing? -You want to fish in troubled waters?

-You wanna keep it for yourselves? -Just like you both!

Outrageous. Attack!

Goddamn it!

I'll take care of him. You go help the Iady. Go on.

-Are you all right? -I'm fine.

Watch me!

You keep going!

Hey! Let me down now.

-Uncle! -Elder!

-Are you both all right? -Yes.

Help her rest first.

I'll help the young beggar.

Step aside. Let me!

Let me help!

Be careful!

You deserve it!

Elder!

-You... -You think you're doing us a favor?

You dare to kill my apprentice

and hurt my son?

-Son! Son! -Yam Yat-foo!

You might as well give up on the treasures.

You take your son back and bury him.

Retreat from the underworld, and we will spare your life.

Spare me, my ass!

Now that my son is also dead,

there's nothing to hold me back.

I will get the jade and the pill at all cost!

Fong, you old fart. Wise up and give them up now.

Otherwise, you'll never live past today!

Yam Yat-foo, you're still so obsessed?

Damn old beggar! I'll kill you!

Master!

That was a close one!

Here comes Zatoichi!

No, no. Here comes my dog-beating stick!

What's so sticky?

Broken.

It's broken now.

No!

You can still be a eunuch!

-It's safe! There'll be good fortune! -Good fortune?

The Golden Cicada Sheds Its Shell!

Tortoise Shrinks Head But Not Tail!

Get up!

-Elder, what's that? -The secret kung fu manual!

Elder, let me help him!

-Luckily I got you! -Damn brat, you again!

It hurts!

I'm telling you. You can only outsmart him! Not by brute force, okay?

Outsmart him? Got it!

This is outsmarting.

See that? Hit him with one foot!

Great stuff, eh?

One foot? I'll break both of your feet!

Daddy hasn't shown you everything yet!

-Master, is that move in the manual? -He read it upside down!

Even better!

You're lucky you dodged that one.

You wanted me to have no heirs?

A wig? So you're a bald donkey!

Master, why are those moves so familiar?

Why are you taking off my clothes?

I'll peel your skin and tear your bones!

Let me read this first.

-Let's see what else you can do! -There's more! Watch me!

These were all wrong!

-Forget it! -Hey, one more move here! Catch!

So many kicks? How?

Listen! Broom feet, cut feet, shadowless feet!

No way!

Broom feet, cut feet, shadowless feet!

My feet have been caught!

What feet you have left now?

Polio feet!

Arthritis feet! Paralyzed feet!

Chicken hands and duck feet! Flying feet!

Flying feet!

Bruce Lee feet!

Hong Kong feet!

Securing the Country With One Finger!

He's done for!

It's all thanks to you, Hero Gong.

Not at all.

We've finally taken care of all these villains.

Dad, so where exactly did you hide the jade and the pill?

Great, eh?

How can there be so many treasures in this world?

This was just a trick I played on them.

Thanks to Uncle who came up with this trick.

Otherwise, how could these gangsters be wiped out at the same time?

I protected the escort with all I had! So it was fake?

But you learned one good move from me!

Securing the Country With One Finger!