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1
00:00:05,048 --> 00:00:06,484
- 'Bout time.
2
00:00:06,528 --> 00:00:09,574
You said I only had to
babysit Oscar for three hours.
3
00:00:12,099 --> 00:00:13,317
- Where were you guys?
4
00:00:13,361 --> 00:00:16,320
- I'm on step nine of AA,
making amends.
5
00:00:16,364 --> 00:00:19,497
So Momo's been driving me
around to apologize.
6
00:00:19,541 --> 00:00:21,673
Oh, I'm calling it
my Eras tour.
7
00:00:24,198 --> 00:00:28,202
My beer era, my tequila era,
8
00:00:28,245 --> 00:00:31,161
and my appletini era.
9
00:00:31,205 --> 00:00:33,163
I kept it classy
there at the end.
10
00:00:35,470 --> 00:00:36,732
- There's a lot of talking
11
00:00:36,775 --> 00:00:38,603
and not enough
of handing out fries.
12
00:00:38,647 --> 00:00:39,648
- Oh.
13
00:00:40,823 --> 00:00:42,868
- I ate all the fries.
I'm sorry, Gordo.
14
00:00:42,912 --> 00:00:44,087
Hey.
15
00:00:44,131 --> 00:00:45,741
Take Chance off the list.
16
00:00:48,483 --> 00:00:52,704
- So you've apologized to
Chance, Mayan, Quinten, Rosie,
17
00:00:52,748 --> 00:00:55,664
and all the hot mannequins
at Victoria's Secret?
18
00:00:57,492 --> 00:01:00,190
- I see now how I should have
respected them for their minds.
19
00:01:03,019 --> 00:01:06,327
- It looks like everyone's
gotten an apology from George
20
00:01:06,370 --> 00:01:08,807
except for the most
important person in his life.
21
00:01:08,851 --> 00:01:10,418
- Jackie Chan?
22
00:01:12,115 --> 00:01:13,769
- Me, man.
23
00:01:13,812 --> 00:01:14,900
- What do you mean?
24
00:01:14,944 --> 00:01:16,119
He told you he was sorry
the other day.
25
00:01:16,163 --> 00:01:18,643
- No.
I dropped a box on his foot.
26
00:01:18,687 --> 00:01:21,864
And he said, I'm sorry
I ever hired you.
27
00:01:23,561 --> 00:01:26,303
- What do you want him
to apologize for?
28
00:01:26,347 --> 00:01:29,132
- It was a cold autumn eve.
29
00:01:29,176 --> 00:01:31,656
The Raiders were
playing the Chargers.
30
00:01:31,700 --> 00:01:33,267
Ah.
31
00:01:33,310 --> 00:01:35,138
George dared me
to run onto the field
32
00:01:35,182 --> 00:01:36,705
and tackle football legend
Marshawn Lynch.
33
00:01:36,747 --> 00:01:38,924
- [gasps]
You tackled Beast Mode?
34
00:01:38,968 --> 00:01:40,056
- I tried.
35
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:41,405
But it looked more
like a Chihuahua
36
00:01:41,449 --> 00:01:44,930
trying to hump a Great Dane.
37
00:01:44,973 --> 00:01:49,413
George swore he'd block
security, but he was wasted.
38
00:01:49,457 --> 00:01:52,329
So all he did was just point
at me and say, get him!
39
00:01:54,288 --> 00:01:55,811
I was hauled off
to Raider jail,
40
00:01:55,854 --> 00:01:58,901
where I was given
the name Bitch Mode.
41
00:02:00,163 --> 00:02:01,599
- Wow.
42
00:02:01,643 --> 00:02:03,123
George should definitely
apologize for that.
43
00:02:03,166 --> 00:02:04,776
- Yeah.
Well, I'm sure he will.
44
00:02:04,820 --> 00:02:06,430
He's probably just
saving the best for last.
45
00:02:06,474 --> 00:02:08,170
- I forgot some
of my apology tour,
46
00:02:08,215 --> 00:02:09,433
someone who has
been very loyal,
47
00:02:09,477 --> 00:02:11,827
who has always
been there for me.
48
00:02:15,265 --> 00:02:16,745
I'm sorry, Churro.
49
00:02:18,268 --> 00:02:20,966
I'm sorry I threw a shoe
at you when I was drunk.
50
00:02:21,010 --> 00:02:22,664
I thought you were a gremlin.
51
00:02:24,927 --> 00:02:27,843
[upbeat saxophone music]
52
00:02:27,886 --> 00:02:34,850
♪
53
00:02:40,334 --> 00:02:42,684
- We're here.
54
00:02:44,816 --> 00:02:46,383
- You guys were gone
a long time.
55
00:02:46,427 --> 00:02:48,341
- Oh, we had the best day.
56
00:02:48,385 --> 00:02:51,432
Shopping, lunch at
the Cheesecake Factory,
57
00:02:51,475 --> 00:02:52,694
a couple's massage.
58
00:02:55,436 --> 00:02:58,178
- Couple's massage?
59
00:02:58,221 --> 00:02:59,918
- No, don't worry.
60
00:02:59,962 --> 00:03:03,226
She told everyone I was gay
so it wouldn't be weird.
61
00:03:05,054 --> 00:03:06,969
- I love shopping with Quinten.
62
00:03:07,012 --> 00:03:09,363
He's always honest
about how good I look.
63
00:03:10,842 --> 00:03:12,844
- It is genuine honesty,
64
00:03:12,888 --> 00:03:14,542
not fear.
65
00:03:16,935 --> 00:03:18,807
- You guys have been
hanging out a lot.
66
00:03:18,850 --> 00:03:20,939
It's like my mom thinks
you're her husband.
67
00:03:20,983 --> 00:03:22,419
- That's silly.
68
00:03:22,463 --> 00:03:24,726
- Quinten, honey, can you
unzip me, I wanna try this on.
69
00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:27,468
I'm thinking of wearing this
dress for dinner on Friday.
70
00:03:27,511 --> 00:03:29,992
Oh, by the way,
Quinten and I are
71
00:03:30,035 --> 00:03:31,776
going to have dinner on Friday,
so we're gonna need you
72
00:03:31,820 --> 00:03:32,864
to babysit Chance.
73
00:03:35,171 --> 00:03:38,087
- Have you thought about going
out with someone, you know,
74
00:03:38,130 --> 00:03:40,263
not in this family?
75
00:03:42,091 --> 00:03:43,701
Maybe you should start dating.
76
00:03:43,745 --> 00:03:46,400
- Maybe you should stop dating
and get married.
77
00:03:47,401 --> 00:03:48,750
Quinten, zipper!
78
00:03:48,793 --> 00:03:49,793
- Sorry, dear.
79
00:03:54,016 --> 00:03:55,626
Yeah. You're right.
She needs a husband.
80
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:01,893
- I think my mom is afraid
to get back out there.
81
00:04:01,937 --> 00:04:03,504
Oh, we should set her up.
82
00:04:03,547 --> 00:04:05,070
- I actually know someone.
83
00:04:05,114 --> 00:04:06,246
Walter.
84
00:04:06,289 --> 00:04:07,856
He's a sweet guy.
85
00:04:07,899 --> 00:04:09,379
He's--he'd one of my regulars
at the Apple store,
86
00:04:09,423 --> 00:04:10,946
so you know he's got money.
87
00:04:13,296 --> 00:04:14,906
- Perfect.
88
00:04:14,950 --> 00:04:16,517
My mom and I always dreamed
about having a sugar daddy
89
00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:19,214
to replace our pickled daddy.
90
00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:22,871
♪
91
00:04:22,914 --> 00:04:25,439
- Did George apologize for
landing you in Raider jail?
92
00:04:25,482 --> 00:04:28,442
Recently voted third most
violent jail in the country.
93
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:32,183
- No, he has not.
94
00:04:32,228 --> 00:04:33,577
- Why don't you just ask him?
95
00:04:33,621 --> 00:04:35,753
- If there's one thing
I know about relationships,
96
00:04:35,797 --> 00:04:38,800
it's that you can't
ask men to do things.
97
00:04:41,106 --> 00:04:42,456
You need to trick them.
98
00:04:43,761 --> 00:04:46,895
So to jog his memory,
I got us all tickets
99
00:04:46,938 --> 00:04:48,853
to the Raider-Charger game
this Sunday.
100
00:04:48,897 --> 00:04:50,464
- Nice.
101
00:04:50,507 --> 00:04:52,422
How'd you afford that?
102
00:04:55,512 --> 00:04:58,385
- I saved up and went
to the bank.
103
00:04:58,428 --> 00:04:59,647
The sperm bank.
104
00:05:01,649 --> 00:05:03,346
- They pay you for your sperm?
105
00:05:03,390 --> 00:05:05,740
I can't give mine away.
106
00:05:05,783 --> 00:05:08,482
- Once George remembers
how he betrayed me,
107
00:05:08,525 --> 00:05:11,136
he's gonna feel bad, apologize,
108
00:05:11,180 --> 00:05:13,530
and then probably ask me
to take his last name.
109
00:05:15,053 --> 00:05:17,273
- Ooh. Where's my coffee?
110
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:20,145
- Just how you like it,
black with a splash of cream
111
00:05:20,189 --> 00:05:21,408
and 24 sugars.
112
00:05:25,803 --> 00:05:27,675
- One of these is a Splenda!
113
00:05:29,111 --> 00:05:31,331
- You know what
you'll think is sweet,
114
00:05:31,374 --> 00:05:33,724
these tickets
to the Raider game.
115
00:05:33,768 --> 00:05:35,030
- Oh, yeah,
that is sweet, Oscar,
116
00:05:35,073 --> 00:05:37,337
but you know, I don't
go to the games anymore,
117
00:05:37,380 --> 00:05:39,121
since I stopped drinking.
118
00:05:39,164 --> 00:05:41,471
I mean, without paying $23 for
a Bud Light, where's the fun?
119
00:05:43,038 --> 00:05:44,474
- Hey!
120
00:05:44,518 --> 00:05:46,650
It can be fun sober.
121
00:05:46,694 --> 00:05:47,999
- I don't know, man.
122
00:05:48,043 --> 00:05:50,611
My favorite part was all
the stuff we did wasted.
123
00:05:52,134 --> 00:05:54,484
Like tussling
with that angry chola.
124
00:05:56,225 --> 00:05:57,574
At least I think she was angry.
125
00:05:57,618 --> 00:05:59,359
I can't tell the way they
draw their eyebrows on.
126
00:06:01,491 --> 00:06:03,450
- My sister arches hers
real wide.
127
00:06:03,493 --> 00:06:05,800
She always looks
so surprised to see me.
128
00:06:08,455 --> 00:06:09,630
- And since I can't drink,
I can't go.
129
00:06:09,673 --> 00:06:11,196
You should sell the ticket.
130
00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:12,763
Oh, and give me all the money.
131
00:06:12,807 --> 00:06:14,069
- Wait!
132
00:06:14,112 --> 00:06:17,377
What if we all don't drink?
133
00:06:17,420 --> 00:06:18,813
- Excuse me?
134
00:06:21,076 --> 00:06:22,425
- You'd really
stay sober for me?
135
00:06:22,469 --> 00:06:23,644
- Yes.
136
00:06:23,687 --> 00:06:25,341
- All right.
You know what?
137
00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:27,474
I'm in. Let's do it.
138
00:06:27,517 --> 00:06:28,953
all:
Raider Nation!
139
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:36,047
- I'm here.
140
00:06:36,091 --> 00:06:38,441
And my prayers
have been answered.
141
00:06:38,485 --> 00:06:42,706
You're finally coming to church
with me on a non-holiday.
142
00:06:42,750 --> 00:06:44,142
I already told Jesus.
143
00:06:44,186 --> 00:06:46,231
He's very excited to see you.
144
00:06:48,277 --> 00:06:50,932
- How come Jesus doesn't have
to wear a suit to church?
145
00:06:50,975 --> 00:06:53,413
I should be allowed
to go in my chonies too.
146
00:06:56,677 --> 00:07:00,071
- But before we go,
Quinten and I have someone
147
00:07:00,115 --> 00:07:02,422
that we would like you to meet.
148
00:07:02,465 --> 00:07:03,945
- Are you trying to set me up?
149
00:07:03,988 --> 00:07:05,903
I'm not looking to date anyone.
150
00:07:05,947 --> 00:07:07,427
[doorbell rings]
151
00:07:07,470 --> 00:07:09,559
- But Quinten's found you
a real catch, mom.
152
00:07:09,603 --> 00:07:12,127
Soon you'll be on a
romantic three-month cruise.
153
00:07:12,170 --> 00:07:13,998
It'll be the best vacation
of my life.
154
00:07:15,391 --> 00:07:16,653
Your life.
155
00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:20,440
- Buenos días.
156
00:07:26,315 --> 00:07:28,709
It's a pleasure
to meet you, Rosie.
157
00:07:28,752 --> 00:07:31,059
Ah!
158
00:07:31,102 --> 00:07:33,409
Sorry.
You know, arthritis in my hand.
159
00:07:34,802 --> 00:07:37,021
No, no, no. I can get it.
160
00:07:37,065 --> 00:07:39,110
I can get it.
161
00:07:44,115 --> 00:07:45,116
- Need a hand there, Walter?
162
00:07:45,159 --> 00:07:47,336
- Nope. I got it.
163
00:07:49,643 --> 00:07:51,166
- He don't got it.
164
00:07:54,996 --> 00:07:58,565
- Will you excuse us
a moment, Walter?
165
00:08:05,223 --> 00:08:06,964
Why would you think
it was a good idea
166
00:08:07,008 --> 00:08:09,793
to set me up with Father Time?
167
00:08:09,837 --> 00:08:11,578
Was there no one
older available,
168
00:08:11,621 --> 00:08:15,930
like the Gutenberg Bible,
Chichen Itza,
169
00:08:15,973 --> 00:08:17,584
a pterodactyl?
170
00:08:19,673 --> 00:08:22,589
That's what you think
I want for my romantic life?
171
00:08:22,632 --> 00:08:24,634
That's what you think
I deserve?
172
00:08:24,678 --> 00:08:26,810
- No,
I just think that at your age,
173
00:08:26,854 --> 00:08:27,898
your options might be limited.
174
00:08:27,942 --> 00:08:29,509
- [gasps]
175
00:08:32,903 --> 00:08:34,514
- That came out wrong.
176
00:08:36,558 --> 00:08:40,476
- And what would be
the right way to say that?
177
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,477
- Mom, you've been
divorced ten years.
178
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:45,002
Don't you miss
male companionship?
179
00:08:45,046 --> 00:08:47,483
- I get plenty of sex, Mayan.
180
00:08:51,487 --> 00:08:53,010
- What?
181
00:08:53,054 --> 00:08:54,664
- Do you really think
I can't get any?
182
00:08:54,708 --> 00:08:55,752
Look at me.
183
00:08:55,796 --> 00:08:57,885
I go to church on Sundays
to make up
184
00:08:57,928 --> 00:09:00,017
for what I do on Saturdays.
185
00:09:00,061 --> 00:09:02,977
[upbeat saxophone music]
186
00:09:03,020 --> 00:09:05,196
♪
187
00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:08,809
[crowd cheering]
188
00:09:08,852 --> 00:09:11,202
- The last time we won the
Super Bowl, my hair was black
189
00:09:11,246 --> 00:09:14,249
and this tooth right here
was silver.
190
00:09:14,292 --> 00:09:17,034
Now, it's reversed.
191
00:09:17,078 --> 00:09:18,688
This could be our year.
192
00:09:18,732 --> 00:09:20,211
- This is our year.
193
00:09:20,255 --> 00:09:21,691
- [speaking Spanish]
194
00:09:21,735 --> 00:09:24,346
- Welcome to the field
our special guest,
195
00:09:24,389 --> 00:09:26,914
NFL legend
and future Hall of Famer,
196
00:09:26,957 --> 00:09:30,918
Marshawn Lynch!
197
00:09:30,961 --> 00:09:33,790
[2 Unlimited's
"Get Ready For This"]
198
00:09:33,834 --> 00:09:36,706
[upbeat electronic music]
199
00:09:36,750 --> 00:09:39,143
♪
200
00:09:39,187 --> 00:09:41,668
- Make some noise
for Beast Mode!
201
00:09:41,711 --> 00:09:45,715
crowd: [chanting]
Beast Mode! Beast Mode!
202
00:09:45,759 --> 00:09:48,500
- And ladies, he's single
203
00:09:48,544 --> 00:09:52,287
and in the best shape
of his life.
204
00:09:52,330 --> 00:09:55,638
- I'm single and in the
best shape of my life too.
205
00:09:55,682 --> 00:09:57,161
This is fun, huh?
206
00:09:57,205 --> 00:09:59,120
You don't need to be drunk
like those fools over there.
207
00:10:01,818 --> 00:10:04,038
- It's like
they have no dignity.
208
00:10:04,081 --> 00:10:06,606
- Oh, pardon me.
209
00:10:06,649 --> 00:10:08,608
Excuse me.
210
00:10:11,306 --> 00:10:13,264
- You look like
the Mexican Bowser.
211
00:10:16,703 --> 00:10:18,226
You're not wearing
your nipple spikes?
212
00:10:18,269 --> 00:10:20,054
- Now that I'm at
my first game sober,
213
00:10:20,097 --> 00:10:24,101
I realize everyone's staring
at me and I look stupid.
214
00:10:24,145 --> 00:10:26,974
- Doesn't that remind you
of the time that we were here
215
00:10:27,017 --> 00:10:28,279
and I looked stupid.
216
00:10:28,323 --> 00:10:30,455
It was a cold autumn eve.
217
00:10:30,499 --> 00:10:33,850
- You look stupid all the time,
man, all four seasonings.
218
00:10:33,894 --> 00:10:36,505
Oh man, I know it's hard
not to drink today, guys,
219
00:10:36,548 --> 00:10:38,855
and I truly appreciate it, man.
That's real friendship.
220
00:10:38,899 --> 00:10:40,509
Hey, let's take a selfie.
221
00:10:44,426 --> 00:10:45,732
- You can't even see me.
222
00:10:45,775 --> 00:10:47,647
- Who cares, man?
My hair looks great.
223
00:10:48,517 --> 00:10:51,781
- [speaking Spanish]
224
00:10:51,825 --> 00:10:53,827
- And now, it's time
for the dance cam.
225
00:10:53,870 --> 00:10:59,484
♪
226
00:10:59,528 --> 00:11:02,052
- When a man can
look like a damn fool
227
00:11:02,096 --> 00:11:03,793
for the love of his team,
228
00:11:03,837 --> 00:11:07,362
that's what Raider Nation
is all about.
229
00:11:08,711 --> 00:11:10,670
- Man, being at this game
reminds me,
230
00:11:10,713 --> 00:11:13,368
I owe someone a huge apology.
231
00:11:13,411 --> 00:11:15,065
- This is the perfect time
to say it.
232
00:11:15,109 --> 00:11:16,850
- Oscar?
- Yes, George?
233
00:11:16,893 --> 00:11:18,590
- Can you slide
through here, man?
234
00:11:18,634 --> 00:11:20,288
I'm gonna apologize to Momo.
235
00:11:22,638 --> 00:11:25,423
The last time we were here,
236
00:11:25,467 --> 00:11:27,338
I was the one that put
that spike on your seat.
237
00:11:27,382 --> 00:11:28,862
- That was you?
238
00:11:28,905 --> 00:11:30,385
Raul had to pull that out.
239
00:11:30,428 --> 00:11:33,344
I still owe him a favor.
240
00:11:33,388 --> 00:11:36,130
- I know. I'm sorry, man.
241
00:11:36,173 --> 00:11:38,741
I love you, man.
- I love you too.
242
00:11:40,830 --> 00:11:44,878
[crowd cheering]
243
00:11:44,921 --> 00:11:47,141
- I take it back.
244
00:11:47,184 --> 00:11:49,230
Grown men crying,
245
00:11:49,273 --> 00:11:51,580
that's what Raider Nation
is all about.
246
00:11:53,756 --> 00:11:56,716
Women, take note.
247
00:11:56,759 --> 00:11:58,805
[voice breaks]
Football is our therapy.
248
00:12:00,328 --> 00:12:01,677
- Ow.
249
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:03,200
You are wearing
the nipple spikes.
250
00:12:03,244 --> 00:12:05,246
- No, I'm just really happy.
251
00:12:09,206 --> 00:12:10,947
[upbeat saxophone music]
252
00:12:10,991 --> 00:12:12,644
- Mom's so mad.
253
00:12:12,688 --> 00:12:15,299
But seriously,
who lies about getting laid?
254
00:12:23,612 --> 00:12:25,527
- Can I help you?
255
00:12:25,570 --> 00:12:27,355
- She ain't mad no mo'.
256
00:12:29,661 --> 00:12:31,533
- Oh, my God, you're Mayan.
257
00:12:31,576 --> 00:12:34,144
Your mom has told me
so many stories
258
00:12:34,188 --> 00:12:36,016
and shown me so many pictures.
259
00:12:37,844 --> 00:12:39,323
And who are you?
260
00:12:41,325 --> 00:12:45,329
- Mayan, what are
you doing here?
261
00:12:45,373 --> 00:12:48,855
You can't just show up
unannounced to someone's house.
262
00:12:51,596 --> 00:12:53,990
♪
263
00:12:54,034 --> 00:12:55,775
- Waited 15 minutes
for the bathroom
264
00:12:55,818 --> 00:12:57,515
then 30 minutes for the nachos.
265
00:12:57,559 --> 00:12:59,866
By then I had to go to
the bathroom all over again.
266
00:12:59,909 --> 00:13:01,432
- You waited for the bathroom?
267
00:13:01,476 --> 00:13:02,477
I just went here.
268
00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:03,870
Raider Nation!
269
00:13:03,913 --> 00:13:05,480
all:
Raider Nation!
270
00:13:08,613 --> 00:13:10,746
- Is that beer?
271
00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:14,663
- No. It's my pee.
272
00:13:14,706 --> 00:13:16,317
- I know the difference
between pee and Corona.
273
00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:18,885
I learned that the hard way.
274
00:13:18,928 --> 00:13:20,234
What the hell, man?
275
00:13:20,277 --> 00:13:21,844
I thought you guys said
you weren't gonna drink.
276
00:13:21,888 --> 00:13:23,977
- Oscar had the idea
to hide beer in coffee cups.
277
00:13:24,020 --> 00:13:25,239
- Momo!
- What?
278
00:13:25,282 --> 00:13:28,024
You know I'm a chismosa
when I'm buzzed.
279
00:13:28,068 --> 00:13:29,983
- Hey, man.
How could you do that?
280
00:13:30,026 --> 00:13:32,333
- Doesn't feel good when your
friends let you down, does it?
281
00:13:32,376 --> 00:13:34,814
- No, it doesn't.
I think you owe me an apology.
282
00:13:34,857 --> 00:13:37,555
- No. You owe me an apology.
283
00:13:37,599 --> 00:13:38,905
- For what?
284
00:13:38,948 --> 00:13:40,036
- For getting wasted
and not having
285
00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:42,386
my back with Marshawn Lynch.
286
00:13:42,430 --> 00:13:43,953
- Not having your back
with Marshawn?
287
00:13:43,997 --> 00:13:45,433
Man, you were the reason
I was drunk that day.
288
00:13:46,434 --> 00:13:47,652
- What are you talking about?
289
00:13:47,696 --> 00:13:49,263
- If AA taught me anything,
it taught me
290
00:13:49,306 --> 00:13:51,134
that you're an enabler.
291
00:13:51,178 --> 00:13:53,223
And once I looked up what
enabler meant, I realized,
292
00:13:53,267 --> 00:13:56,052
I didn't owe you an apology.
293
00:13:56,096 --> 00:13:58,359
- Enabler.
294
00:13:58,402 --> 00:14:00,230
I have taken your car keys.
295
00:14:00,274 --> 00:14:03,625
I have called Mayan
so many times to let her know
296
00:14:03,668 --> 00:14:05,932
that her dad was not
passed out in a ditch.
297
00:14:05,975 --> 00:14:08,369
And I am the one who
took you to the hospital
298
00:14:08,412 --> 00:14:09,892
when you almost died last year.
299
00:14:09,936 --> 00:14:11,024
- No way, man.
300
00:14:11,067 --> 00:14:13,156
The ambulance took me
to the hospital.
301
00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:15,245
- Of course you don't remember.
302
00:14:17,682 --> 00:14:19,293
Forget the Marshawn apology.
303
00:14:19,336 --> 00:14:22,600
You should be apologizing
for 20 years of our friendship.
304
00:14:22,644 --> 00:14:26,082
I am done with you, man,
just like I am done pretending
305
00:14:26,126 --> 00:14:27,736
that I am a Raider fan.
306
00:14:31,305 --> 00:14:33,742
- Bang bang, Niner gang.
307
00:14:40,967 --> 00:14:43,621
♪
308
00:14:43,665 --> 00:14:45,754
- Well, now that
you're both dressed,
309
00:14:45,797 --> 00:14:47,669
I just have one question.
310
00:14:49,584 --> 00:14:50,715
What the hell?
311
00:14:53,153 --> 00:14:56,678
- She means,
how did you two meet?
312
00:14:58,158 --> 00:15:01,291
- Josué is a personal
injury attorney,
313
00:15:01,335 --> 00:15:05,078
specializing in car accidents
and dog attacks
314
00:15:05,121 --> 00:15:06,993
and looking fine.
315
00:15:09,343 --> 00:15:11,127
- Hey, maybe you've seen my ad.
316
00:15:11,171 --> 00:15:14,609
Get bit by a Shih Tzu,
this lawyer bites back.
317
00:15:15,697 --> 00:15:17,960
- Wha--you--
you're No Way Josué!
318
00:15:18,004 --> 00:15:19,527
Oh!
319
00:15:19,570 --> 00:15:22,182
I have seen your face on buses
and shopping carts
320
00:15:22,225 --> 00:15:25,054
and urinals.
That is so cool.
321
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:29,667
It's not that cool.
322
00:15:29,711 --> 00:15:32,409
- Once I saw how much attention
Rosie La Reina's billboard
323
00:15:32,453 --> 00:15:35,369
was getting, I decided to put
one right in front of hers.
324
00:15:37,023 --> 00:15:38,589
So then she stormed
into my office
325
00:15:38,633 --> 00:15:42,550
and, well, gave me
a piece of her mind.
326
00:15:42,593 --> 00:15:46,162
- But then I decided to give
him a piece of something else.
327
00:15:49,644 --> 00:15:50,601
both:
Ew.
328
00:15:52,734 --> 00:15:54,214
- Her heart.
329
00:15:57,043 --> 00:15:58,392
both:
Oh.
330
00:15:59,741 --> 00:16:03,353
- Wait, those billboards
have been up for a while.
331
00:16:03,397 --> 00:16:06,574
So you guys have
been dating for--
332
00:16:06,617 --> 00:16:07,705
- Six months.
333
00:16:07,749 --> 00:16:09,664
- When were you planning
on telling me?
334
00:16:09,707 --> 00:16:12,362
- When I was put into
a situation where
335
00:16:12,406 --> 00:16:13,755
I was forced to tell you.
336
00:16:16,018 --> 00:16:17,367
Cookies?
337
00:16:18,890 --> 00:16:20,240
- So hey.
338
00:16:20,283 --> 00:16:22,416
I'm here with
quarterback Jim Plunkett.
339
00:16:22,459 --> 00:16:25,027
There's not a lot of people
that deserve
340
00:16:25,071 --> 00:16:27,856
the title Raider legend.
341
00:16:27,899 --> 00:16:31,947
But Jim, how does it feel
to be talking to one?
342
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:33,601
- And who are you?
343
00:16:40,434 --> 00:16:43,045
- You know Oscar took me
to the hospital?
344
00:16:43,089 --> 00:16:45,395
- Yeah, because you were
unconscious.
345
00:16:45,439 --> 00:16:47,832
He picked you up
and dropped you off himself
346
00:16:47,876 --> 00:16:50,748
because the ambulance
wouldn't have made it on time.
347
00:16:50,792 --> 00:16:51,923
- He saved my life.
348
00:16:51,967 --> 00:16:53,186
Man, I feel terrible.
349
00:16:53,229 --> 00:16:55,405
- Imagine how I feel
having to tell you.
350
00:16:58,017 --> 00:16:59,540
- I gotta make this right.
351
00:17:01,237 --> 00:17:03,152
I gotta go to the
bathroom again.
352
00:17:03,196 --> 00:17:04,980
♪
353
00:17:05,023 --> 00:17:07,722
[phone rings]
354
00:17:09,332 --> 00:17:11,464
- Is that your mom again?
355
00:17:11,508 --> 00:17:12,596
- Yes.
356
00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:14,468
And I am not speaking to her,
357
00:17:14,511 --> 00:17:17,123
unless I need her to babysit,
cook, clean, or do my taxes.
358
00:17:20,647 --> 00:17:22,954
- Isn't Josué what we wanted
for her, though?
359
00:17:22,998 --> 00:17:24,434
Why are you so upset?
360
00:17:24,478 --> 00:17:26,088
- Because we tell
each other everything,
361
00:17:26,132 --> 00:17:29,135
so it hurts that she kept him
secret from me for six months.
362
00:17:31,137 --> 00:17:32,834
- I'm here.
363
00:17:35,837 --> 00:17:38,405
To remind you,
if I'm not in your life,
364
00:17:38,448 --> 00:17:40,146
you just have your dad.
365
00:17:43,497 --> 00:17:45,673
- Why didn't you tell me
about Josué sooner?
366
00:17:49,285 --> 00:17:51,418
- I was nervous.
367
00:17:51,461 --> 00:17:53,463
After everything we've
been through with your dad,
368
00:17:53,507 --> 00:17:57,032
I didn't wanna just bring
any man into your life.
369
00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:59,861
I had to make sure that
he was worthy of meeting you.
370
00:18:02,168 --> 00:18:05,345
- Well, is he?
371
00:18:07,390 --> 00:18:10,001
- I think he is.
372
00:18:10,045 --> 00:18:12,221
- Is he worthy of meeting me?
373
00:18:16,356 --> 00:18:19,576
- Oh Quinten.
374
00:18:19,620 --> 00:18:22,710
You're no one to him
until you put a ring on it.
375
00:18:26,192 --> 00:18:29,891
[crowd cheering]
376
00:18:29,934 --> 00:18:31,936
- Not a good idea
trying to get out of here
377
00:18:31,980 --> 00:18:34,722
with a Niner jersey on.
378
00:18:34,765 --> 00:18:37,377
I am lucky they let me
keep my pants.
379
00:18:37,420 --> 00:18:39,509
- Did you see George?
He went looking for you.
380
00:18:39,553 --> 00:18:43,209
- No, I did not see George,
and I don't care.
381
00:18:43,252 --> 00:18:47,952
It's time for me to be the
main character of my own life.
382
00:18:47,996 --> 00:18:50,346
Do you need a sidekick?
383
00:18:50,390 --> 00:18:52,696
- Sorry, bro.
I already have Raul.
384
00:18:52,740 --> 00:18:54,829
- Excuse me?
385
00:18:56,700 --> 00:19:00,530
- Yeah, so how was it playing
in those great days?
386
00:19:00,574 --> 00:19:02,053
- Is that George?
387
00:19:02,097 --> 00:19:03,751
- Well, I played
when the defenses could
388
00:19:03,794 --> 00:19:05,927
actually hit the quarterback.
389
00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:08,886
- What the hell?
390
00:19:11,019 --> 00:19:13,282
- Excuse me, Marshawn,
Mr. Jim Plunkett.
391
00:19:13,326 --> 00:19:15,371
You should be in the NFL
Hall of Fame, by the way.
392
00:19:15,415 --> 00:19:17,460
- You seem like a nice guy.
- Well, I'm not.
393
00:19:17,504 --> 00:19:20,159
I deserve to be in the
Hall of Fame of bad friends.
394
00:19:20,202 --> 00:19:23,727
Oscar, I'm sorry you had to put
up with a drunk version of me
395
00:19:23,771 --> 00:19:24,815
for all those years.
396
00:19:24,859 --> 00:19:26,774
- The drunk version?
397
00:19:26,817 --> 00:19:28,776
Wait. You sober right now?
398
00:19:30,821 --> 00:19:34,260
- Beast Mode,
can we go silent mode.
399
00:19:34,303 --> 00:19:39,221
Oscar, you always have my back,
even when I don't have yours.
400
00:19:39,265 --> 00:19:40,962
I'm sorry that it took me
so long to apologize.
401
00:19:41,005 --> 00:19:42,398
I was wrong.
402
00:19:42,442 --> 00:19:43,878
Wait a minute.
403
00:19:43,921 --> 00:19:46,576
In AA, the 10th step is
admitting that you're wrong.
404
00:19:46,620 --> 00:19:47,969
I did it! Ha!
405
00:19:48,012 --> 00:19:49,318
All 10 steps.
406
00:19:49,362 --> 00:19:51,233
Raiders!
407
00:19:51,277 --> 00:19:53,366
- No, no, no.
It's actually 12 steps.
408
00:19:53,409 --> 00:19:55,019
- No, in Mexico, it's 10.
409
00:19:56,934 --> 00:19:58,327
This is for you, Oscar!
410
00:19:58,371 --> 00:20:00,416
Mr. Plunkett,
can you hold that?
411
00:20:00,460 --> 00:20:01,417
[grunts]
412
00:20:02,723 --> 00:20:04,072
[grunts]
413
00:20:05,291 --> 00:20:06,292
[grunts]
414
00:20:09,033 --> 00:20:10,600
You wanna call security?
415
00:20:10,644 --> 00:20:13,037
- Yeah. Hey, security!
416
00:20:13,081 --> 00:20:14,474
- Oh, my God.
417
00:20:14,517 --> 00:20:17,694
He tried to tackle
Beast Mode for me.
418
00:20:17,738 --> 00:20:19,348
I hope security
goes easy on him.
419
00:20:22,395 --> 00:20:24,223
- And he's down.
420
00:20:24,266 --> 00:20:27,008
Let's go bail him out
of Raider jail, boys.
421
00:20:28,096 --> 00:20:31,926
[upbeat saxophone music]
422
00:20:31,969 --> 00:20:33,841
[doorbell rings]
423
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:40,239
- Oh, my God!
You're No Way Josué!
424
00:20:41,501 --> 00:20:43,459
- You must be George.
425
00:20:43,503 --> 00:20:45,069
- How did you know that?
426
00:20:45,113 --> 00:20:46,506
Is Marshawn suing?
427
00:20:49,073 --> 00:20:51,075
That wasn't me.
That was Eric Estrada.
428
00:20:53,817 --> 00:20:55,776
- No, George.
429
00:20:55,819 --> 00:20:58,605
This is my boyfriend.
430
00:21:01,956 --> 00:21:03,305
- Oh.
431
00:21:03,349 --> 00:21:05,612
Is this some kind of a joke?
432
00:21:05,655 --> 00:21:08,005
- No way, Josué.
433
00:21:10,181 --> 00:21:12,749
- Just so you know, I'm in AA.
434
00:21:12,793 --> 00:21:14,229
I'm making amends,
so right now,
435
00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:16,318
I just wanna say
I'm sorry for everything.
436
00:21:18,015 --> 00:21:19,147
- But you haven't
done anything to me.
437
00:21:19,190 --> 00:21:21,105
- Don't worry. It's coming.
438
00:21:21,149 --> 00:21:23,456
♪
30975
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