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1
00:01:47,649 --> 00:01:50,444
Ladies and gentlemen,
it's Latin Quarter Rhythms,
2
00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:53,280
starring the incredible Kane Sisters.
3
00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:35,280
Ah, success, that most coveted
of all the earthly prizes.
4
00:02:35,530 --> 00:02:38,158
Tonight, it belongs
to the Kane Sisters.
5
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:41,912
Tonight, these twin meteors
streak upon the Broadway horizon,
6
00:02:41,912 --> 00:02:44,665
making the Great White Way
a full magnitude brighter
7
00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:45,999
by their radiance.
8
00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:48,293
Indeed, one wonders
how we ever found our way
9
00:02:48,293 --> 00:02:50,087
along Schubert Alley
without stumbling
10
00:02:50,087 --> 00:02:52,339
in the semi-darkness.
11
00:02:52,381 --> 00:02:53,590
Why these two?
12
00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:56,134
What magical combination
of ingredients,
13
00:02:56,134 --> 00:02:58,845
what divine blending
of resources, have made
14
00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:01,306
their meteoric ascendance inevitable?
15
00:03:01,306 --> 00:03:05,435
Perhaps a peek into the past
will offer some answers?
16
00:03:11,733 --> 00:03:13,110
When Horace Greeley said,
17
00:03:13,110 --> 00:03:15,445
"Go west, young man,"
he meant that the West
18
00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:17,864
was where opportunity
and the future lay.
19
00:03:17,864 --> 00:03:19,866
Although he might not have had
Coyote Fang,
20
00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:21,993
Wyoming, specifically in mind,
21
00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:25,038
it nonetheless illustrates
the validity of his vision.
22
00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:27,541
Hey, Flo,
can I walk you home tonight?
23
00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:31,712
I already got a date, Harry,
and you can stick it in your dog.
24
00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:36,508
Here, we find the pioneer personality
in its pristine state.
25
00:03:36,508 --> 00:03:40,679
The determination, the stamina,
the nobility of character,
26
00:03:40,679 --> 00:03:43,348
which fashions a civilization
out of a wilderness.
27
00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:45,142
What'll it be, gents?
28
00:03:45,142 --> 00:03:47,853
Oh, the master will have a beer.
29
00:03:47,853 --> 00:03:49,271
Anything imported.
30
00:03:49,521 --> 00:03:52,733
Bottle of Buffalo piss, please.
31
00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:54,943
It is here we find our heroines,
32
00:03:54,943 --> 00:03:57,279
like so many
of history's great theatrical names,
33
00:03:57,279 --> 00:03:59,698
developing and polishing
their talents in the provinces.
34
00:04:00,699 --> 00:04:05,328
Talent, yes, that is the first
essential ingredient of success.
35
00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:06,913
Talent.
36
00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:43,218
What was that noise?
37
00:05:43,218 --> 00:05:45,846
-That was applause, honey.
-Really?
38
00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:48,056
It sounded like a horse
running through a barn.
39
00:05:48,056 --> 00:05:49,474
It was rather nice, though, wasn't it?
40
00:05:49,474 --> 00:05:52,060
It sure was.
You should've seen the horse.
41
00:05:52,060 --> 00:05:54,813
-Was he cute?
-Dollar signs, baby.
42
00:05:54,813 --> 00:05:55,939
Oh.
43
00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:58,692
Just the kind of guy
I could lay a spread for.
44
00:05:59,442 --> 00:06:02,028
Sugar, we got to get out
of this dump.
45
00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:04,531
Arnie said if we could hang on
for six more weeks,
46
00:06:04,531 --> 00:06:08,076
he'd get us a weekend in Moorhead,
Minnesota, remember?
47
00:06:08,076 --> 00:06:09,035
At the bowling alley.
48
00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:11,538
We're not hanging on
for six more weeks.
49
00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:14,332
When Arnie calls tonight,
I'm going to straighten him out.
50
00:06:14,332 --> 00:06:16,459
Either he gets us
a booking in New York,
51
00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:18,461
or we sign with old man Stucky.
52
00:06:18,461 --> 00:06:19,796
-Agreed?
-Agreed.
53
00:06:24,968 --> 00:06:27,470
Who wants to play Moorhead, anyway?
54
00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:29,055
You can tell Arnie for me
55
00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:32,642
that a bird in your hand
isn't worth two in your bush.
56
00:06:33,768 --> 00:06:36,062
Come on, Big Boy, one more swallow.
57
00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:39,816
I'll be so glad to get out of this dump.
58
00:06:39,816 --> 00:06:40,901
Hi, Luke.
59
00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:43,028
-Hi, darling
-Hi.
60
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:47,449
Oh, shit.
61
00:06:47,449 --> 00:06:49,117
That's what it is, honey.
62
00:06:55,457 --> 00:06:56,875
Can I use your cloth, Luke?
63
00:06:56,875 --> 00:06:58,293
Hey, Sugar, that's my shirt.
64
00:06:58,293 --> 00:06:59,377
Oh, I'm sorry.
65
00:06:59,377 --> 00:07:01,963
I'll see if I can find a rag.
66
00:07:03,214 --> 00:07:06,301
I wonder what the Greyhound
costs in New York.
67
00:07:06,301 --> 00:07:08,595
I suppose we could sell a few things.
68
00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:10,138
Flo would love that bow of yours.
69
00:07:10,138 --> 00:07:11,806
I found a rag.
70
00:07:11,806 --> 00:07:13,642
Maybe we should just get rid
71
00:07:13,642 --> 00:07:17,938
of all these costumes
and get new ones.
72
00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:20,023
We should definitely get
new costumes.
73
00:07:20,732 --> 00:07:23,234
-Oh.
-This rag has seen better days.
74
00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:25,570
This rag's doing just fine.
75
00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:49,135
How's Big Boy today?
Did he take his tonic?
76
00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:51,888
I finally got him to swallow it.
77
00:07:51,888 --> 00:07:54,099
-Did he spit it up?
-Not yet.
78
00:07:54,849 --> 00:07:56,518
You can say that again.
79
00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:11,449
-What's in that stuff, anyway?
-Pig's milk and berries.
80
00:08:11,449 --> 00:08:13,034
-And he swallows it?
81
00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:16,246
-Trick is to get it in
as far as you can.
82
00:08:48,111 --> 00:08:50,572
Can't you take that hat off
when we're making love?
83
00:08:50,572 --> 00:08:52,240
Now, Sugar, honey.
84
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:54,909
You know how I feel
about my hair, or lack of it.
85
00:08:54,909 --> 00:08:56,494
Well, I don't see why.
86
00:08:56,494 --> 00:08:59,414
You know what they say,
there may not be grass on the roof,
87
00:08:59,414 --> 00:09:01,791
but there's definitely fire
in the stove pipe.
88
00:09:05,837 --> 00:09:07,172
Hello?
89
00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:12,135
Chin, I have a collect call
from Chicago for Ms. Candy Cane.
90
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:17,432
Ms. Candy,
you got long distance telephone.
91
00:09:17,432 --> 00:09:18,808
I'm coming.
92
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:20,685
It must be from Mr. Arnie.
93
00:09:20,685 --> 00:09:22,479
It's a collect call.
94
00:09:22,479 --> 00:09:24,105
That bastard.
95
00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:26,483
I need some change.
Have you got anything, Luke?
96
00:09:26,483 --> 00:09:28,234
Feels like 10 inches.
97
00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:30,528
-Help yourself.
-l am.
98
00:09:31,029 --> 00:09:33,740
Imagine the nerve calling collect.
99
00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:35,533
That hardnose son of a bitch.
100
00:09:35,533 --> 00:09:38,119
Who's a hardnose son of a bitch?
101
00:09:38,119 --> 00:09:39,329
You are.
102
00:10:02,352 --> 00:10:03,478
Hello?
103
00:10:03,478 --> 00:10:05,980
Yes, operator,
I'll accept the charges.
104
00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:07,440
Hello?
105
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:08,817
Hello, Arnie.
106
00:10:08,817 --> 00:10:11,236
What's the big idea calling collect?
107
00:10:11,236 --> 00:10:14,364
You know how it is, kid.
I'm a little tight.
108
00:10:14,364 --> 00:10:15,865
You're a little tight?
109
00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:17,367
Tight, isn't it?
110
00:10:24,999 --> 00:10:26,417
Listen, you little weasel,
111
00:10:26,417 --> 00:10:29,045
either you get us out of here,
or we're going to sign with Stucky.
112
00:10:29,045 --> 00:10:30,255
Stucky?
113
00:10:30,713 --> 00:10:32,507
-Stucky.
-Fuck me.
114
00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:44,269
Well, as a matter of fact,
115
00:10:44,269 --> 00:10:47,856
the reason I'm calling is I've got
this great job lined up for you.
116
00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:49,816
Where? Moorhead?
117
00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:50,984
Moorhead?
118
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:52,152
More head.
119
00:10:59,868 --> 00:11:03,997
Look, this is the big time, sweetie,
and I'm not talking about Chicago.
120
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:06,457
This is the Big Apple, New York City.
121
00:11:06,457 --> 00:11:07,584
Go on.
122
00:11:07,584 --> 00:11:12,422
It's called...Crackers.
123
00:11:12,422 --> 00:11:15,341
It's the big break
we've been waiting for, baby.
124
00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:18,178
Now, hear me out.
It's a sort of a showcase, you know,
125
00:11:18,219 --> 00:11:22,807
and there's a small fee involved,
but it's worth every penny.
126
00:11:22,807 --> 00:11:25,268
I mean, everybody who's anybody's
going to be there.
127
00:11:25,268 --> 00:11:28,938
You are bound to be seen
by some very important people.
128
00:11:28,980 --> 00:11:30,106
What kind of fee?
129
00:11:30,106 --> 00:11:31,608
A hundred bucks.
130
00:11:31,608 --> 00:11:33,359
A hundred bucks?
131
00:11:33,359 --> 00:11:35,320
Listen, Arnie, are you trying to --
132
00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:40,074
Screw me. Screw me! Yes!
133
00:11:40,074 --> 00:11:41,910
Listen, Arnie, are you trying to -
134
00:11:42,285 --> 00:11:44,370
Well, who do we send the fee to?
135
00:11:45,246 --> 00:11:47,290
You'd better let me handle it.
136
00:11:48,124 --> 00:11:50,543
-Mail it in --
-Out.
137
00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:53,963
In and out. All right.
138
00:11:53,963 --> 00:11:56,507
-All right, but this better be
on the up and up.
139
00:11:56,507 --> 00:11:58,176
-And up! And up!
140
00:11:58,676 --> 00:12:01,054
Charging! Charging!
141
00:12:02,972 --> 00:12:04,265
What's the charges?
142
00:12:28,122 --> 00:12:29,457
New York.
143
00:12:29,666 --> 00:12:31,376
-What a --
-Fuck.
144
00:12:36,339 --> 00:12:38,216
Hey, Candy,
I just came in to get you.
145
00:12:38,216 --> 00:12:39,717
We got a big spender
out front tonight,
146
00:12:39,717 --> 00:12:41,803
and he wants you and Sugar
to come out and join him.
147
00:12:41,803 --> 00:12:42,595
Listen, Oscar,
148
00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:46,182
I just got off the phone with --
how big a spender?
149
00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:48,351
He's tipping Flo with $20 bills.
150
00:12:48,351 --> 00:12:49,852
That guy in the front row?
151
00:12:49,852 --> 00:12:51,521
Yeah. He's got quite a wad.
152
00:12:51,521 --> 00:12:53,314
I saw it.
153
00:12:53,314 --> 00:12:55,066
We'll be right in.
154
00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:03,574
A hundred dollars, Candy,
155
00:13:03,574 --> 00:13:05,743
and that doesn't even cover
the bus ticket.
156
00:13:06,577 --> 00:13:09,247
Honey, we're about to float a loan.
157
00:13:09,247 --> 00:13:10,248
Huh?
158
00:13:14,043 --> 00:13:15,378
Hi, fellas.
159
00:13:15,420 --> 00:13:16,713
Hello.
160
00:13:16,713 --> 00:13:21,259
Ladies, may I introduce
Mr. Stephen Carlisle 111?
161
00:13:21,259 --> 00:13:22,260
Really?
162
00:13:22,260 --> 00:13:26,014
I never knew a third before,
but I did meet a junior once.
163
00:13:26,014 --> 00:13:27,765
I'm Candy, this is Sugar.
164
00:13:27,765 --> 00:13:30,143
We're the Kane sisters.
Who are you?
165
00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:31,269
Oh, I'm Eric, ma'am.
166
00:13:31,269 --> 00:13:32,645
Pleasure, Mr. Ma'am.
167
00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:35,148
No, no, no, no. It's just Eric, ma'am.
168
00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:36,607
Oh.
169
00:13:36,607 --> 00:13:37,984
Won't you sit down?
170
00:13:38,609 --> 00:13:40,153
Would you like a drink?
171
00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:41,529
Whatever you're having.
172
00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:43,906
I thought your singing
this evening was lovely.
173
00:13:43,906 --> 00:13:45,199
Thank you.
174
00:13:45,199 --> 00:13:47,660
-1t was our farewell performance.
-Really?
175
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:49,829
Yes, we're moving
to a club in New York.
176
00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:51,873
Perhaps you've heard of it.
It's called Crackers.
177
00:13:51,873 --> 00:13:53,916
No.
No, I don't believe so.
178
00:13:53,916 --> 00:13:55,626
Oh, well, it's new.
179
00:13:55,626 --> 00:13:56,836
Hasn't been open very long.
180
00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:58,755
But very in, if you know what I mean.
181
00:13:58,755 --> 00:14:01,466
I must make it a point
to come see you.
182
00:14:01,466 --> 00:14:02,383
When are you leaving?
183
00:14:02,383 --> 00:14:07,263
Well, we have a few loose ends
to tie up here.
184
00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:09,891
We've got to get our bus tickets.
Maybe Tuesday.
185
00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:12,018
Bus tickets?
186
00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:13,061
Eric.
187
00:14:13,061 --> 00:14:14,228
Sorry, sir.
188
00:14:14,228 --> 00:14:17,190
We decided to bus it,
189
00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:19,817
because we need some money
for new costumes.
190
00:14:19,817 --> 00:14:21,110
You know how it is.
191
00:14:27,408 --> 00:14:28,659
Thanks, cutie.
192
00:14:28,659 --> 00:14:30,703
Hey, Flo, you forgot the change.
193
00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:32,330
Oh, never mind.
194
00:14:32,330 --> 00:14:34,248
Heavens, you must be loaded.
195
00:14:34,248 --> 00:14:36,000
Could you loan us $100?
196
00:14:36,042 --> 00:14:39,170
-Sugar.
-Oh, please. She's charming.
197
00:14:39,170 --> 00:14:40,338
How would $200 be?
198
00:14:40,338 --> 00:14:41,756
Oh, no, we couldn't.
199
00:14:41,756 --> 00:14:43,091
Why not?
200
00:14:43,091 --> 00:14:46,386
There's a simple question.
Why not?
201
00:14:47,136 --> 00:14:49,972
You can pay me back, y'know.
I'll be in New York.
202
00:14:49,972 --> 00:14:52,433
In fact, why don't you come with us?
203
00:14:52,433 --> 00:14:55,019
Eric and I are flying back
as soon as the car is fixed.
204
00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:56,979
You're having me on.
205
00:14:56,979 --> 00:14:58,689
One can't fly in a car.
206
00:14:59,190 --> 00:15:03,111
When the car is fixed,
we are driving it to the airport.
207
00:15:03,111 --> 00:15:04,028
Oh.
208
00:15:04,028 --> 00:15:05,822
My jet's in Canyon City.
209
00:15:05,822 --> 00:15:07,115
Your jet?
210
00:15:07,115 --> 00:15:08,950
Yes.
Are you terribly impressed?
211
00:15:08,950 --> 00:15:10,243
-Yes.
-Good.
212
00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:12,870
-Then you'll come.
-Oh, boy, will we come.
213
00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:16,207
What on earth are you doing
with a jet plane in Wyoming?
214
00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:20,294
The master has been here on business.
215
00:15:20,294 --> 00:15:22,088
I was retrieving
the Buckingham Brooch.
216
00:15:22,088 --> 00:15:23,881
The Buckingham Brooch?
217
00:15:23,881 --> 00:15:25,800
I read about it in the newspaper.
218
00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:30,054
Some dizzy dame dropped it
down a mineshaft in 1882
219
00:15:30,054 --> 00:15:31,889
and they found it again last week.
220
00:15:31,889 --> 00:15:33,975
Correct. That dizzy dame
221
00:15:33,975 --> 00:15:36,352
was my great-great aunt
on my mother's side.
222
00:15:36,352 --> 00:15:37,437
And she didn't drop it.
223
00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:39,272
She threw it down the shaft.
224
00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:41,858
It seems she was upset
with my great-great uncle
225
00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:43,025
at the time.
226
00:15:43,401 --> 00:15:45,570
He must've been furious.
227
00:15:45,570 --> 00:15:47,280
So you're over here to pick it up?
228
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:49,157
I already have it.
229
00:15:49,157 --> 00:15:51,576
-Would you like to see it?
-Love to.
230
00:15:52,410 --> 00:15:53,578
Ladies.
231
00:15:54,162 --> 00:15:55,246
The Buckingham Brooch.
232
00:15:58,583 --> 00:15:59,834
Good grief.
233
00:16:00,835 --> 00:16:01,919
It's gorgeous.
234
00:16:04,839 --> 00:16:07,175
It's exactly the same as mine.
235
00:16:07,175 --> 00:16:08,843
I was going to loan it
to Flo tonight,
236
00:16:08,843 --> 00:16:10,678
because she's got a date.
237
00:16:10,678 --> 00:16:13,431
This is guaranteed to get you laid.
238
00:16:13,431 --> 00:16:15,766
I got it from a gypsy at a carnival.
239
00:16:20,062 --> 00:16:22,523
It's an accurate copy,
but not nearly as valuable.
240
00:16:22,523 --> 00:16:25,067
You're telling me.
She only paid a buck and a half?
241
00:16:53,054 --> 00:16:55,765
I did not say your wife
had a wart on her twat.
242
00:16:55,765 --> 00:16:57,475
I said it felt like one!
243
00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:14,492
Oh, what a mess.
244
00:17:14,492 --> 00:17:16,577
I'm sorry about the roughhousing.
245
00:17:16,619 --> 00:17:17,620
You know how it is.
246
00:17:17,620 --> 00:17:20,331
They've gone and got dirt
all over your lovely brooch.
247
00:17:21,958 --> 00:17:23,417
That one's yours.
248
00:17:24,168 --> 00:17:25,962
Oh, thank heavens
they didn't break it.
249
00:17:25,962 --> 00:17:28,381
-Your car's ready.
-Oh, good. Thank you.
250
00:17:29,423 --> 00:17:31,300
-Well, are you coming?
-You bet.
251
00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:33,427
-Where are you going?
-To New York.
252
00:17:33,427 --> 00:17:34,554
You can't.
253
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:35,638
I've got a contract.
254
00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:38,975
Oscar, you haven't paid us
for two weeks.
255
00:17:39,475 --> 00:17:42,103
Consider that your two weeks' notice.
256
00:17:42,103 --> 00:17:45,439
It's sure going to be hard
without you, Sugar.
257
00:17:45,439 --> 00:17:46,774
Oh, Luke, darling.
258
00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:48,693
If I thought it was going
to be hard all the time,
259
00:17:48,693 --> 00:17:50,027
I wouldn't go at all.
260
00:17:50,027 --> 00:17:52,446
-You promise to write?
-Every day.
261
00:17:52,446 --> 00:17:54,323
And you promise to keep up
your scientific study
262
00:17:54,323 --> 00:17:56,200
on Big Boy
and I know he'll be back
263
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:57,660
in the saddle
in no time at all.
264
00:17:57,660 --> 00:17:59,620
Oh, Sugar, baby.
265
00:17:59,620 --> 00:18:01,289
-Sugar!
266
00:18:01,289 --> 00:18:02,957
I've got to be going.
267
00:18:02,957 --> 00:18:06,002
The others are waiting for me.
268
00:18:06,002 --> 00:18:08,296
Wish me luck, honey.
269
00:18:08,296 --> 00:18:10,423
When I make it big,
I'll send for you.
270
00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:12,925
You already made it big, baby.
271
00:18:19,056 --> 00:18:20,600
How long will you be in New York?
272
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,351
Just overnight.
273
00:18:22,351 --> 00:18:23,769
I'll fly back for your opening.
274
00:18:24,020 --> 00:18:26,272
Wouldn't you just stay here
in the States for a while?
275
00:18:26,272 --> 00:18:28,065
No, I'm afraid not.
276
00:18:28,065 --> 00:18:32,028
Aunt Sybil is quite anxious
to get the brooch back home.
277
00:18:32,028 --> 00:18:33,571
She's planning to auction it off
278
00:18:33,571 --> 00:18:36,490
at a big charity do
for the orphans of Penzance.
279
00:18:36,490 --> 00:18:38,075
Oh, I see.
280
00:18:38,701 --> 00:18:41,287
I really think you'd like Aunt Sybil.
281
00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:46,167
She's really very sweet...
when it comes to the orphans.
282
00:18:47,668 --> 00:18:49,879
Did you ever screw on a plane?
283
00:18:49,879 --> 00:18:54,800
I did it in a boat once
and I had to do all the rowing.
284
00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:04,185
Would you like to see
the rest of the plane?
285
00:19:05,186 --> 00:19:07,480
My private quarters are in the back.
286
00:19:17,448 --> 00:19:18,949
I do wish I'd brought the big one.
287
00:19:18,949 --> 00:19:20,534
The big one?
288
00:19:20,534 --> 00:19:22,828
It was a big one.
289
00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:27,458
You know what they say,
all good things come in big packages.
290
00:19:27,458 --> 00:19:28,709
Well, enough about me.
291
00:19:28,709 --> 00:19:30,795
Tell me about yourself.
292
00:19:32,088 --> 00:19:35,716
Well, I did it in a rickshaw once.
293
00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:38,386
That was when the master
was in the Orient.
294
00:19:38,386 --> 00:19:39,553
Sideways?
295
00:19:39,553 --> 00:19:42,598
-The rickshaw?
-1 really should have it redecorated.
296
00:19:43,557 --> 00:19:45,601
Oh, no, it's quite nice.
297
00:19:45,601 --> 00:19:46,769
Very comfortable.
298
00:19:49,438 --> 00:19:51,565
Would you like to lie down?
299
00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:55,736
Would you?
300
00:21:07,725 --> 00:21:10,019
She was taking a class
in Oriental cooking.
301
00:21:10,019 --> 00:21:11,479
Oh, I love to eat.
302
00:21:11,479 --> 00:21:12,938
Tell me your favorite recipe.
303
00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:15,399
Oh, steak and lychee nuts.
304
00:21:15,399 --> 00:21:16,817
Fu Manchu.
305
00:21:16,817 --> 00:21:18,235
How do you make it?
306
00:21:18,235 --> 00:21:21,822
You take your meat and you pound it.
307
00:21:37,463 --> 00:21:38,756
Am I getting better?
308
00:21:38,756 --> 00:21:40,508
Oh, much.
309
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:42,134
Oh, good.
310
00:22:12,790 --> 00:22:15,251
You brown it lightly.
311
00:22:15,751 --> 00:22:18,337
Dip the nuts into oil.
312
00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:26,345
Salt to taste.
313
00:22:26,345 --> 00:22:27,388
Beat it.
314
00:22:27,388 --> 00:22:28,806
Beat it while it's hot.
315
00:22:30,808 --> 00:22:32,810
Put the cream in.
316
00:22:34,979 --> 00:22:37,022
See if it's wet enough.
317
00:22:44,989 --> 00:22:47,449
Put it in the oven for an hour.
318
00:22:48,409 --> 00:22:52,162
Pull it out and put butter on top.
319
00:24:00,189 --> 00:24:01,565
It serves six.
320
00:24:35,557 --> 00:24:37,768
Oh, is our billing up yet?
321
00:24:37,768 --> 00:24:39,812
The club isn't even up yet.
322
00:24:39,812 --> 00:24:42,648
Eric, are you sure
this is the right address?
323
00:24:42,648 --> 00:24:44,191
Positive, sir. Positive.
324
00:24:44,191 --> 00:24:46,902
This is the right address, all right.
325
00:24:46,902 --> 00:24:49,530
That bastard Arnie
was trying to rob us.
326
00:24:49,530 --> 00:24:52,199
Well, thank heavens
we didn't really send him
327
00:24:52,199 --> 00:24:53,742
the hundred dollars.
328
00:24:54,243 --> 00:24:56,328
What are we going to do now?
329
00:25:00,165 --> 00:25:01,333
Well, here we are.
330
00:25:01,333 --> 00:25:02,876
Oh, isn't it lovely?
331
00:25:02,876 --> 00:25:04,294
What a beautiful view.
332
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:07,923
You can stay here
until you find a place and get a job.
333
00:25:07,923 --> 00:25:09,675
There's plenty of food,
and I'll give you
334
00:25:09,675 --> 00:25:11,885
a couple of signed checks
in case you need them.
335
00:25:11,885 --> 00:25:14,722
You can't do that.
Why, you don't even know us.
336
00:25:14,722 --> 00:25:16,640
Well, I know you well enough,
337
00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:18,267
and I'd like to get
to know you better.
338
00:25:18,267 --> 00:25:19,435
What do you want to know?
339
00:25:19,435 --> 00:25:21,395
Nothing, at the moment.
340
00:25:21,603 --> 00:25:23,814
Oh, I've got to call Aunt Sybil
and let her know
341
00:25:23,814 --> 00:25:25,899
that everything's under control.
342
00:25:25,899 --> 00:25:27,860
You'll find a guest room upstairs.
343
00:25:27,860 --> 00:25:29,361
Eric will bring your luggage.
344
00:25:33,782 --> 00:25:36,493
Hello.
Let me speak to Aunt Sybil, please.
345
00:26:24,291 --> 00:26:26,043
Lady Buckingham's residence.
346
00:26:26,585 --> 00:26:29,088
Oh, very good, sir.
It's for you, Madame.
347
00:26:30,631 --> 00:26:31,840
Hello.
348
00:26:32,549 --> 00:26:35,260
Stephen, darling, where are you?
349
00:26:35,260 --> 00:26:37,971
Did you get the brooch?
350
00:26:37,971 --> 00:26:42,351
Good. Coyote Fang?
351
00:26:42,351 --> 00:26:44,228
How vivid.
352
00:26:44,228 --> 00:26:45,979
When are you coming?
353
00:26:45,979 --> 00:26:47,523
That should put you in
about midnight.
354
00:26:47,523 --> 00:26:49,775
I'll have Edward
leave cookies and milk.
355
00:26:50,317 --> 00:26:52,236
Stephen, the room is gorgeous.
356
00:26:52,236 --> 00:26:53,946
The bed doesn't even squeak.
357
00:26:53,946 --> 00:26:56,240
Stephen, dear, who's there?
358
00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:57,699
I hear voices.
359
00:26:57,699 --> 00:27:00,077
Feminine voices.
360
00:27:00,077 --> 00:27:01,245
Did you really?
361
00:27:01,245 --> 00:27:03,205
Who are they?
362
00:27:03,205 --> 00:27:05,207
Never heard of them.
363
00:27:05,207 --> 00:27:08,210
Oh, they sing, do they?
364
00:27:08,210 --> 00:27:10,462
Oh, tell me, dear,
what else do they do?
365
00:27:10,462 --> 00:27:13,215
Dig for gold?
366
00:27:13,215 --> 00:27:14,967
Of course I'm only joking.
367
00:27:14,967 --> 00:27:17,719
I know the gold diggers went out
with Christine Keeler.
368
00:27:17,719 --> 00:27:19,805
Oh, listen, darling,
I've really got to run.
369
00:27:19,805 --> 00:27:24,810
Annie and Charlie actually gave up
a horse show to come to tea.
370
00:27:24,810 --> 00:27:26,270
Do take care,
and I'll see you at
371
00:27:26,270 --> 00:27:29,773
breakfast.
Ta-ta.
372
00:27:29,773 --> 00:27:31,150
Edward.
373
00:27:31,150 --> 00:27:34,570
Edward, get me my lawyer in New York.
374
00:27:34,570 --> 00:27:36,905
Kane Sisters. Ha.
375
00:27:36,905 --> 00:27:39,199
Phony names if I've ever heard them.
376
00:27:39,199 --> 00:27:43,620
No, they're not going to get
their claws into my nephew.
377
00:27:43,620 --> 00:27:45,873
I'm the last person
who's going to fuck her way
378
00:27:45,873 --> 00:27:49,293
into this family.
379
00:27:49,293 --> 00:27:53,839
Lyle, darling, I need your help.
380
00:27:53,839 --> 00:27:56,133
Can you get me the name
of that detective in New York?
381
00:27:56,133 --> 00:27:58,468
Oh, what was his name?
382
00:27:58,468 --> 00:28:02,347
You know, the one that put
Miss Subways out of business.
383
00:28:02,347 --> 00:28:05,225
Oh, you must mean Max.
384
00:28:05,225 --> 00:28:06,894
That's it, that's it, Max.
385
00:28:06,894 --> 00:28:08,437
Can you get me Max?
386
00:28:08,437 --> 00:28:12,149
I want him to check out two women
staying in my nephew's apartment
387
00:28:12,149 --> 00:28:13,734
in New York.
388
00:28:13,734 --> 00:28:16,278
They may be after his money.
389
00:28:16,278 --> 00:28:19,323
Sybil, it's all going to be
his some day, anyway.
390
00:28:19,323 --> 00:28:21,325
Well, it's mine now, and Stephen
391
00:28:21,325 --> 00:28:24,578
simply cannot keep his head
when it comes to women.
392
00:28:24,578 --> 00:28:26,496
You remember
that unfortunate business
393
00:28:26,496 --> 00:28:27,664
in Bangkok?
394
00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:30,250
Well, my dear, she was nothing
but your common,
395
00:28:30,250 --> 00:28:32,586
garden variety cocksucker.
396
00:28:32,586 --> 00:28:35,047
God knows what these two are.
397
00:28:35,047 --> 00:28:36,298
Oh, and by the by,
398
00:28:36,298 --> 00:28:40,219
I got your last tax thing
about my holdings.
399
00:28:40,219 --> 00:28:41,678
Isn't that a bit exorbitant
400
00:28:41,678 --> 00:28:44,139
for a few warehouses
and a Burger King?
401
00:28:44,181 --> 00:28:48,352
Now, Sybil, those warehouses
are very profitable.
402
00:28:48,352 --> 00:28:51,188
You've probably forgotten
the East River properties.
403
00:28:51,188 --> 00:28:52,940
Now, don't concern yourself.
404
00:28:52,940 --> 00:28:55,525
I'll send you
the new photographs immediately,
405
00:28:55,525 --> 00:28:57,152
all right?
-Yes.
406
00:28:57,527 --> 00:29:00,822
Oh, and tell Max
to get right on that case,
407
00:29:00,822 --> 00:29:03,617
but darling,
do tell him to be careful.
408
00:29:03,617 --> 00:29:07,037
These two are in show business.
409
00:29:12,584 --> 00:29:14,920
Candy, what's a film loop?
410
00:29:15,545 --> 00:29:16,880
You've got me.
411
00:29:17,714 --> 00:29:21,009
They're looking
for 46 girls and a monkey.
412
00:29:21,009 --> 00:29:22,469
What do you think?
413
00:29:22,469 --> 00:29:24,846
You're not going to get
much billing with 46 girls.
414
00:29:24,846 --> 00:29:26,181
I suppose not.
415
00:29:26,181 --> 00:29:28,308
The monkey's probably the star.
416
00:29:28,308 --> 00:29:29,935
What did Stephen say in his letter?
417
00:29:29,935 --> 00:29:31,853
That he missed me.
418
00:29:34,064 --> 00:29:36,149
Does Stephen have a big joint?
419
00:29:36,858 --> 00:29:38,193
Big enough.
420
00:29:38,193 --> 00:29:40,445
I get hot just thinking about it.
421
00:29:40,445 --> 00:29:42,406
You should do what I do.
422
00:29:42,406 --> 00:29:44,157
Suck a cock every day
423
00:29:44,157 --> 00:29:47,619
and the hornies stay away.
That's what Luke taught me.
424
00:29:49,913 --> 00:29:51,039
Mmm...cock.
425
00:33:01,771 --> 00:33:05,150
You'd better come out of there.
You're going to get all prune-y.
426
00:33:05,817 --> 00:33:07,027
I'm through.
427
00:33:09,488 --> 00:33:10,947
Did the cleaning man come?
428
00:33:10,947 --> 00:33:12,824
Yes. All over.
429
00:33:13,325 --> 00:33:15,285
Did you find anything yet?
430
00:33:16,203 --> 00:33:17,871
Now, here's a movie.
431
00:33:17,871 --> 00:33:19,372
Miracle Pictures,
432
00:33:19,372 --> 00:33:21,333
Ben Dover Producer.
433
00:33:32,427 --> 00:33:34,429
True devotees of the live theater
434
00:33:34,429 --> 00:33:38,266
find cinema a slightly suspect medium
for serious art.
435
00:33:38,266 --> 00:33:40,685
On occasion, however,
a producer of genius
436
00:33:40,685 --> 00:33:45,232
will create cinematic gems to please
even the harshest of critics.
437
00:33:45,232 --> 00:33:48,777
Such a genius
is Ben Dover of Miracle Productions.
438
00:33:48,777 --> 00:33:52,197
To him, we are eternally grateful
for preserving on film
439
00:33:52,197 --> 00:33:56,618
the early efforts of our heroines
in a series of mini epics.
440
00:33:56,618 --> 00:34:01,456
Who could forget Teenage Cookies?
441
00:34:01,456 --> 00:34:05,544
That triumph of the art houses,
Type, You Typers.
442
00:34:05,544 --> 00:34:09,714
Yes, that was a real sleeper.
443
00:34:09,714 --> 00:34:11,925
The costumes
were particularly lovely.
444
00:34:11,925 --> 00:34:14,719
Yes, we got to keep them too.
445
00:34:15,554 --> 00:34:17,889
Then, there was
that little avant-garde piece,
446
00:34:17,889 --> 00:34:19,849
Wild Gooseberries.
447
00:34:19,849 --> 00:34:21,518
Not since Bergman has there been
448
00:34:21,518 --> 00:34:26,231
such sensitive handling
of a delicate theme.
449
00:34:26,231 --> 00:34:28,900
My personal favourite
was Wet Cheerleaders,
450
00:34:28,900 --> 00:34:33,363
a big campus spectacle
with a cast of thousands.
451
00:34:33,363 --> 00:34:36,783
Ah, yes, they don't write them
like that anymore.
452
00:34:36,783 --> 00:34:38,285
Success.
453
00:34:38,285 --> 00:34:40,328
They owed it all to Ben.
454
00:34:40,328 --> 00:34:42,330
Ben, you asshole.
455
00:34:42,330 --> 00:34:43,999
I've been screwed up
one side of that loft
456
00:34:43,999 --> 00:34:46,209
and down the other.
I've had it. No more.
457
00:34:46,209 --> 00:34:48,044
Candy, relax.
458
00:34:48,044 --> 00:34:51,339
I got a fantastic big movie
for you and Sugar.
459
00:34:51,339 --> 00:34:52,591
What?
460
00:34:52,591 --> 00:34:53,800
A real film?
461
00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:55,260
Jesus Christ.
462
00:34:55,260 --> 00:34:58,263
May my mother drop dead
if I'm lying to you.
463
00:34:58,263 --> 00:34:59,347
Ugh.
464
00:35:03,643 --> 00:35:06,479
They call these things turd curls.
Isn't that silly?
465
00:35:06,479 --> 00:35:08,607
Who'd want to have turds
in their hair?
466
00:35:12,235 --> 00:35:14,070
Well, a familiar face.
467
00:35:14,070 --> 00:35:15,155
How are you?
468
00:35:15,155 --> 00:35:16,406
I heard you're playing Brett.
469
00:35:18,199 --> 00:35:19,618
Congratulations.
470
00:35:19,659 --> 00:35:22,871
It should be fun working on this one.
471
00:35:22,871 --> 00:35:24,914
What do you think
of the new director?
472
00:35:25,415 --> 00:35:26,791
Well, I hear he's pretty good.
473
00:35:26,791 --> 00:35:29,294
Shit. He's done so many b-movies.
474
00:35:29,294 --> 00:35:31,671
He gets fan mail from the Hornets.
475
00:35:34,299 --> 00:35:37,761
Ladies and gentlemen,
may I have your attention?
476
00:35:38,303 --> 00:35:40,305
As you know,
we are shooting this film
477
00:35:40,305 --> 00:35:42,724
in the Italian fashion.
-What's that?
478
00:35:42,724 --> 00:35:45,435
Well, we're not going
to be using actual sound,
479
00:35:45,435 --> 00:35:47,771
in order that I may speak to you
during the scenes.
480
00:35:47,771 --> 00:35:48,897
You must, however,
481
00:35:48,897 --> 00:35:51,900
speak as you would normally
and we'll dub the lines in later.
482
00:35:51,900 --> 00:35:53,985
Now, you, Petunia,
you have just one line,
483
00:35:53,985 --> 00:35:56,112
but it is terribly important.
Have you learned it yet?
484
00:35:56,112 --> 00:35:57,447
I'm working on it.
485
00:35:57,447 --> 00:36:00,950
When Cissy says,
"The Yankees are coming," you say?
486
00:36:00,950 --> 00:36:03,036
I got it right here.
487
00:36:03,036 --> 00:36:04,829
"Ms. Melody,
488
00:36:05,955 --> 00:36:08,249
what are we going to do?"
489
00:36:09,250 --> 00:36:11,503
That's right.
Keep working on it, though.
490
00:36:11,503 --> 00:36:14,506
Now, remember, pay no attention to me
when I'm talking to you.
491
00:36:14,506 --> 00:36:15,840
Just do what I say.
492
00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:17,550
This is a very simple little scene.
493
00:36:17,550 --> 00:36:20,345
I'd like to get it done quickly,
because we are shooting
494
00:36:20,345 --> 00:36:22,639
the Bombing of Atlanta
this afternoon.
495
00:36:22,639 --> 00:36:24,557
Now, everyone to their places.
496
00:36:27,227 --> 00:36:29,688
Listen, how about lunch next week?
497
00:36:29,688 --> 00:36:31,064
Sure.
498
00:36:31,064 --> 00:36:32,691
All right.
499
00:36:32,691 --> 00:36:34,192
Quiet on the set.
500
00:36:35,652 --> 00:36:37,237
Roll the titles.
501
00:36:47,580 --> 00:36:48,873
Action.
502
00:36:48,873 --> 00:36:54,462
The Yankees are coming.
503
00:36:55,296 --> 00:36:56,381
Cut.
504
00:36:57,132 --> 00:36:59,342
Not yet, you moron.
Get off the set.
505
00:36:59,342 --> 00:37:01,553
I'll tell you when to come on.
506
00:37:02,887 --> 00:37:04,264
Action.
507
00:37:11,104 --> 00:37:13,148
Everyone titter.
508
00:37:21,156 --> 00:37:23,324
Now, spread out your picnic clothes.
509
00:37:25,869 --> 00:37:28,705
"Ms. Melody,
what are we going to do?"
510
00:37:29,998 --> 00:37:31,291
Where are my peacocks?
511
00:37:31,833 --> 00:37:33,626
Where are the peacocks?
512
00:37:34,586 --> 00:37:36,212
Two peacocks coming up.
513
00:37:43,720 --> 00:37:46,514
Let the ladies open the baskets,
you big Cissy.
514
00:37:46,931 --> 00:37:50,643
The Yankees are coming.
515
00:37:51,561 --> 00:37:52,771
Not yet.
516
00:37:53,438 --> 00:37:55,815
You called Cissy, you asshole.
517
00:37:56,941 --> 00:37:58,359
"Ms. Melody,
518
00:37:58,359 --> 00:38:00,653
what are we going to do?"
519
00:38:00,653 --> 00:38:02,906
Ready for Ms. Harlot.
520
00:38:02,906 --> 00:38:06,201
War, war, war.
That's all you men care about.
521
00:38:06,201 --> 00:38:08,453
And me, so dry
I could pick cotton.
522
00:38:08,453 --> 00:38:09,537
Good.
523
00:38:09,537 --> 00:38:12,081
Now, put down the basket.
524
00:38:12,081 --> 00:38:13,875
Ready on the gunshot?
525
00:38:15,710 --> 00:38:19,047
Fire.
526
00:38:20,381 --> 00:38:21,925
Wait here, Ms. Harlot.
527
00:38:21,925 --> 00:38:24,177
Men, we better see you
fire that shot.
528
00:38:27,931 --> 00:38:31,059
Well, I'll just go and see
if my Uncle and Auntie Belum
529
00:38:31,059 --> 00:38:32,185
have arrived.
530
00:38:32,393 --> 00:38:36,523
Ms. Melody. Ms. Melody.
531
00:38:36,523 --> 00:38:38,483
Oh, this line stinks.
532
00:38:41,486 --> 00:38:43,571
Okay.
We're ready for the Yankees.
533
00:38:47,242 --> 00:38:48,284
Now.
534
00:38:53,540 --> 00:38:55,291
Put up a fight, girls.
535
00:39:00,088 --> 00:39:01,381
Scream.
536
00:39:12,225 --> 00:39:15,478
Struggle.
537
00:39:24,612 --> 00:39:27,657
"Ms. Melody,
what are we going to do?"
538
00:39:29,242 --> 00:39:30,285
Ms. Melody --
539
00:39:32,704 --> 00:39:33,913
Doggy.
540
00:39:40,795 --> 00:39:42,005
Ass.
541
00:39:45,008 --> 00:39:46,092
Fuck.
542
00:40:54,744 --> 00:40:56,162
Missionary.
543
00:41:09,884 --> 00:41:11,010
Lunch.
544
00:41:45,044 --> 00:41:47,255
Cissy and Petunia, stand by.
545
00:42:02,437 --> 00:42:04,647
Get out of here, you idiot.
546
00:42:17,660 --> 00:42:19,078
Come on, boys.
547
00:42:19,829 --> 00:42:21,330
I know you can do it.
548
00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:35,178
Boys, I'm ready.
549
00:42:48,274 --> 00:42:49,650
I want a cum shot,
550
00:42:49,650 --> 00:42:52,070
or none of you faggots get paid.
551
00:43:19,347 --> 00:43:23,768
-Cissy.
-The Yankees are coming!
The Yankees are coming!
552
00:43:24,435 --> 00:43:26,062
How was that, you shithead?
553
00:43:26,604 --> 00:43:29,148
Petunia, that's your cue!
554
00:43:30,274 --> 00:43:31,359
Petunia?!
555
00:43:33,111 --> 00:43:36,864
"Ms. Melody,
what are we going to do?" Oh.
556
00:44:19,490 --> 00:44:21,450
"Ms. Melody,
what are we going to do?"
557
00:44:23,161 --> 00:44:25,163
Frankly, my dear,
I don't give a damn.
558
00:44:26,873 --> 00:44:29,750
-You're fired.
-Oh.
559
00:44:31,544 --> 00:44:32,795
"Dear Luke,
560
00:44:32,795 --> 00:44:36,591
Candy and I just finished doing
one of those disaster pictures.
561
00:44:36,883 --> 00:44:37,967
It was."
562
00:44:41,053 --> 00:44:42,513
And so, thanks to the perseverance
563
00:44:42,513 --> 00:44:48,352
of my darling, devoted nephew,
Stephen Carlisle lll,
564
00:44:48,352 --> 00:44:53,357
the Buckingham Brooch had been returned
to its rightful home, at last.
565
00:44:53,357 --> 00:44:55,484
And now, it gives me great pleasure
to announce
566
00:44:55,484 --> 00:45:00,448
that the Buckingham Brooch will be placed
on public auction Saturday, with proceeds
567
00:45:00,448 --> 00:45:03,451
to go to the darling
little orphans of Penzance.
568
00:45:03,451 --> 00:45:04,660
We do all care
569
00:45:04,660 --> 00:45:07,830
for the dear little orphans
of Penzance, don't we?
570
00:45:07,830 --> 00:45:09,832
Now, if you would step out
into the garden,
571
00:45:09,832 --> 00:45:13,377
tea will be served
and I will pose for pictures.
572
00:45:13,419 --> 00:45:16,422
Beg pardon, sir.
A letter just arrived.
573
00:45:17,632 --> 00:45:18,925
It's from the girls.
574
00:45:18,925 --> 00:45:20,218
Oh.
575
00:45:25,681 --> 00:45:27,850
Oh, they'd like to stay on
for a few weeks more.
576
00:45:27,850 --> 00:45:30,019
Oh, really, Stephen,
allowing those two girls
577
00:45:30,019 --> 00:45:32,355
to stay on alone
in your apartment in New York?
578
00:45:32,355 --> 00:45:33,397
Oh, Aunt Sybil.
579
00:45:33,397 --> 00:45:36,442
Your mother would turn over
in her grave.
580
00:45:40,238 --> 00:45:42,073
I'll get it.
581
00:45:46,535 --> 00:45:48,537
Oh, there's nobody there.
582
00:45:48,537 --> 00:45:51,123
Must have been a wrong number.
583
00:45:53,125 --> 00:45:54,877
I'll get it this time.
584
00:45:57,546 --> 00:45:58,839
Hi, come on in.
585
00:45:58,839 --> 00:46:01,467
Well, I'm off
for another day's job hunting.
586
00:46:01,467 --> 00:46:02,843
Wish me luck.
587
00:46:10,351 --> 00:46:12,144
Candy, they moved the elevator.
588
00:46:12,937 --> 00:46:14,814
They put it right down the hall.
589
00:46:16,148 --> 00:46:18,734
-Oh, thank you. Bye-bye.
-So long.
590
00:46:20,194 --> 00:46:22,738
Come on.
591
00:46:24,699 --> 00:46:26,367
You got any new film work?
592
00:46:26,367 --> 00:46:28,577
Not since that last disaster.
593
00:46:29,078 --> 00:46:30,621
I trust you survived the epic?
594
00:46:30,621 --> 00:46:32,331
Yeah. No scars, anyway.
595
00:46:32,331 --> 00:46:33,624
Oh.
596
00:46:34,000 --> 00:46:35,584
Let me be the judge of that.
597
00:47:13,956 --> 00:47:15,333
Perseverance.
598
00:47:15,333 --> 00:47:17,418
That crucial quality.
599
00:47:17,418 --> 00:47:19,754
Ambition amounts
to nothing without it.
600
00:47:19,754 --> 00:47:21,922
For contrary to popular belief,
601
00:47:21,922 --> 00:47:25,718
opportunity is under no obligation
whatsoever to knock on anyone's door.
602
00:47:26,510 --> 00:47:29,972
It's been known to avoid
some neighborhoods completely.
603
00:54:10,289 --> 00:54:14,752
The Buckingham Brooch,
what a stunning example of success.
604
00:54:14,752 --> 00:54:15,836
What a noble gesture
605
00:54:15,836 --> 00:54:18,464
on the part of Lady Buckingham
to put it up for auction.
606
00:54:18,464 --> 00:54:21,717
The proceeds being donated
to her favorite charity.
607
00:54:21,717 --> 00:54:24,178
Note, in passing,
the striking similarity
608
00:54:24,219 --> 00:54:26,847
between the brooch
and the rise of the Kane sisters.
609
00:54:26,847 --> 00:54:28,974
This lovely piece,
in its original state,
610
00:54:28,974 --> 00:54:32,102
was merely crude platinum
and diamonds in the rough.
611
00:54:32,102 --> 00:54:35,397
Something one would hardly cross the
mall to see,
612
00:54:35,397 --> 00:54:38,609
but by a tasteful process
of selection, refinement,
613
00:54:38,609 --> 00:54:40,819
and craftsmanship,
these base elements
614
00:54:40,819 --> 00:54:44,156
are transformed and fashioned
into a unique assemblage
615
00:54:44,156 --> 00:54:46,909
of beauty, grace, and dignity.
616
00:54:47,493 --> 00:54:49,953
Stephen, darling,
do be a sweetheart
617
00:54:49,953 --> 00:54:51,079
and fetch me a bromide.
618
00:54:51,079 --> 00:54:53,707
All these people have given me
a frightful headache.
619
00:54:53,707 --> 00:54:55,417
What I go through
620
00:54:55,417 --> 00:54:57,252
for these dreadful Penzance brats.
621
00:55:01,757 --> 00:55:04,927
-Action.
-Always charming as ever.
622
00:55:04,927 --> 00:55:07,262
I'll get it, Ed,
but keep the line moving.
623
00:55:07,262 --> 00:55:11,683
Keep the line moving.
624
00:55:11,683 --> 00:55:14,478
Hello, Lady Buckingham here.
625
00:55:14,478 --> 00:55:17,272
Max, what's the news?
626
00:55:17,272 --> 00:55:19,858
You haven't anything to report?
627
00:55:19,858 --> 00:55:21,235
What am I paying you for then?
628
00:55:21,235 --> 00:55:23,278
Perhaps I don't need
a private detective.
629
00:55:23,278 --> 00:55:26,365
Well, actually, I do have some news.
630
00:55:26,365 --> 00:55:27,783
That's better.
631
00:55:27,783 --> 00:55:30,369
I knew you'd come up with something.
632
00:55:30,369 --> 00:55:32,830
They did what?
They propositioned you?
633
00:55:33,622 --> 00:55:36,416
They're nothing but common hookers.
634
00:55:36,416 --> 00:55:38,126
Of course I said no.
635
00:55:38,460 --> 00:55:41,380
That's very interesting, Max.
636
00:55:42,172 --> 00:55:44,716
Goodbye, Max.
Your check is on the way.
637
00:55:55,018 --> 00:55:56,895
Thank you, Stephen.
638
00:55:59,106 --> 00:56:00,858
Now, darling,
I need you here tomorrow
639
00:56:00,858 --> 00:56:03,026
for the auction,
but come Sunday,
640
00:56:03,026 --> 00:56:05,904
I want you to fly straight
to New York and evict those trollops
641
00:56:05,904 --> 00:56:06,989
from your apartment.
642
00:56:06,989 --> 00:56:09,575
-But Aunt Sybil, they're not --
-No buts. No buts.
643
00:56:09,575 --> 00:56:10,784
Your career is at stake.
644
00:56:10,784 --> 00:56:13,078
I will not have you scandalized.
645
00:56:13,078 --> 00:56:14,329
Understand?
646
00:56:14,329 --> 00:56:17,207
You are my heir.
647
00:56:17,207 --> 00:56:19,668
Keep the line moving.
Keep it moving.
648
00:56:26,967 --> 00:56:29,052
Sugar, what are you doing?
649
00:56:29,052 --> 00:56:31,013
Just sight-seeing.
650
00:56:32,014 --> 00:56:34,808
There's a casting
for the young and infested.
651
00:56:35,851 --> 00:56:38,729
Candy, you should come out
and see the bulge on this guy.
652
00:56:38,729 --> 00:56:41,523
Not now, honey, I'm reading.
653
00:56:42,274 --> 00:56:43,942
Besides, they're gay.
654
00:56:44,318 --> 00:56:45,569
So?
655
00:56:45,569 --> 00:56:47,279
Cut them, do they not bleed?
656
00:56:47,279 --> 00:56:49,448
Prick them, do they not feel pain?
657
00:56:49,448 --> 00:56:52,075
Suck it, does it not get hard?
658
00:56:52,075 --> 00:56:54,494
They've got feelings too, you know.
659
00:57:00,542 --> 00:57:01,668
Oh, darn it.
660
00:57:08,091 --> 00:57:09,676
-Yes?
-Hi, I'm Sugar.
661
00:57:09,676 --> 00:57:11,678
-I live upstairs.
-Hello, I'm Bill.
662
00:57:11,678 --> 00:57:13,138
Oh, I'm really embarrassed.
663
00:57:13,180 --> 00:57:16,183
You see, I was out on my terrace,
just admiring the view,
664
00:57:16,183 --> 00:57:18,060
when I dropped my pin
onto your terrace.
665
00:57:18,060 --> 00:57:20,395
-No problem. Come on in.
-Oh, thank you.
666
00:57:23,523 --> 00:57:25,400
Sugar, this is Bob, my roommate.
667
00:57:25,400 --> 00:57:26,860
Oh, don't bother to get up.
668
00:57:26,860 --> 00:57:28,195
I only came for my pin.
669
00:57:28,195 --> 00:57:29,988
Help yourself.
670
00:57:29,988 --> 00:57:31,365
Thanks.
671
00:57:31,365 --> 00:57:32,741
I hear you're gay.
672
00:57:32,741 --> 00:57:33,951
Yes.
673
00:57:33,951 --> 00:57:35,494
Pity.
674
00:57:35,786 --> 00:57:38,163
-Well, each in his own.
-Sure.
675
00:57:38,163 --> 00:57:39,915
Look, I'm going to go see
if I can find your pin.
676
00:57:39,915 --> 00:57:42,459
Oh, thanks a lot.
It's my lucky pin.
677
00:57:42,501 --> 00:57:45,545
I'd be lost without it.
I think it's in the bushes.
678
00:58:14,282 --> 00:58:15,701
Well, here it is, my dear.
679
00:58:15,701 --> 00:58:16,785
Oh, thank you.
680
00:58:16,785 --> 00:58:18,453
It's very nice.
681
00:58:18,453 --> 00:58:21,415
Well, if there's ever anything
I can do for you.
682
00:58:22,040 --> 00:58:23,583
Actually, you can.
683
00:58:23,583 --> 00:58:26,753
Tomorrow night's the annual drag ball
and gala at the Pits.
684
00:58:27,254 --> 00:58:30,132
-Pits?
-It's a club in the village.
685
00:58:30,132 --> 00:58:31,174
Anyway, I'm to be queen
686
00:58:31,174 --> 00:58:34,344
of the fairies and I've got
this terrific gown rigged up.
687
00:58:34,344 --> 00:58:35,721
A gown.
688
00:58:35,721 --> 00:58:37,389
Are you one of those Transylvanians?
689
00:58:38,306 --> 00:58:41,018
The word's "transvestite"
and no, I'm not.
690
00:58:41,018 --> 00:58:42,936
It's just that once a year,
the guys get dressed up
691
00:58:42,936 --> 00:58:45,731
and do a show,
money goes to a worthwhile cause.
692
00:58:45,731 --> 00:58:47,816
-You know, a charity.
-Oh, that's nice.
693
00:58:47,816 --> 00:58:50,235
The point is, it would make
a wonderful topper
694
00:58:50,235 --> 00:58:53,113
for my wand,
and I'll take good care of it.
695
00:58:53,113 --> 00:58:55,240
Please.
I'd be glad to loan it to you.
696
00:58:55,240 --> 00:58:56,283
Great.
697
00:58:56,283 --> 00:58:58,410
Hey, listen, I've got
a dress rehearsal this afternoon.
698
00:58:58,410 --> 00:59:00,662
Let me get my stuff together
and I'll show you my gown.
699
00:59:01,246 --> 00:59:02,873
Oh, I'd love to see it.
700
00:59:14,301 --> 00:59:15,969
Here we go.
Isn't it a hoot?
701
00:59:15,969 --> 00:59:17,345
Oh, it's fabulous.
702
00:59:17,345 --> 00:59:19,097
You must loan it to me sometime.
703
00:59:19,097 --> 00:59:20,807
-Sure.
-Off you pop.
704
00:59:20,807 --> 00:59:23,018
-Don't bother to see me home.
-1 hadn't planned to.
705
00:59:23,018 --> 00:59:24,644
Why don't you help yourself
to some tea?
706
00:59:25,395 --> 00:59:27,856
Bob? Bob?
707
00:59:27,856 --> 00:59:29,274
If he wakes up,
708
00:59:29,274 --> 00:59:31,193
will you tell him
I'll be home for dinner?
709
00:59:31,401 --> 00:59:32,611
Glad to.
710
01:00:05,310 --> 01:00:07,562
Did whatshername leave?
711
01:00:07,562 --> 01:00:08,730
Uh-huh.
712
01:00:11,149 --> 01:00:14,111
Hey, don't do that
unless you mean business.
713
01:00:17,697 --> 01:00:20,700
Come on, Bill.
You're going to get me all excited.
714
01:00:23,453 --> 01:00:25,622
Now you've done it.
I'm as hard as a rock.
715
01:00:25,622 --> 01:00:27,082
Do you want it?
716
01:00:27,082 --> 01:00:28,458
Uh-huh.
717
01:00:29,042 --> 01:00:30,961
Okay, Billy Boy.
718
01:00:32,129 --> 01:00:34,214
Billy Boy will be home for dinner.
719
01:00:34,214 --> 01:00:37,217
Whatshername is hungry right now.
720
01:00:44,891 --> 01:00:47,769
Just try and think of me as a man.
721
01:00:48,937 --> 01:00:50,397
Well, I'll try.
722
01:04:33,203 --> 01:04:34,245
Now, Stephen,
723
01:04:34,245 --> 01:04:36,247
we'll have breakfast
in the breakfast room.
724
01:04:36,247 --> 01:04:39,167
We're having kippers.
Lord Beaverbrook loves his kippers.
725
01:04:39,167 --> 01:04:41,378
Lord Beaverbrook?
Why is he coming?
726
01:04:41,378 --> 01:04:42,879
Didn't I tell you?
727
01:04:42,879 --> 01:04:44,339
Oh, my goodness.
Well, I'm not surprised.
728
01:04:44,381 --> 01:04:47,258
I'm in a such a state
with this auction this afternoon
729
01:04:47,258 --> 01:04:48,468
and everything.
730
01:04:48,468 --> 01:04:49,636
Lord Beaverbrook
731
01:04:49,636 --> 01:04:52,305
is bringing his appraiser
to see the brooch.
732
01:04:52,305 --> 01:04:54,599
I think he's our best bet
for purchase.
733
01:04:54,599 --> 01:04:58,686
They are due here any moment now.
734
01:04:58,686 --> 01:05:00,605
My goodness, but they're punctual.
735
01:05:00,605 --> 01:05:03,942
Now, Stephen,
try not to look anxious.
736
01:05:05,276 --> 01:05:09,280
Lord Beaverbrook
and Mr. Worthington Jones.
737
01:05:10,156 --> 01:05:12,575
Cyril, how nice to see you.
738
01:05:12,575 --> 01:05:14,577
I do hope you'll stay for breakfast.
739
01:05:14,577 --> 01:05:15,745
Kippers and crumpets.
740
01:05:15,745 --> 01:05:16,996
Delighted.
741
01:05:16,996 --> 01:05:20,875
Oh, yes, I do believe you know
Mr. Worthington Jones.
742
01:05:20,875 --> 01:05:22,085
Oh, yes, of course.
743
01:05:22,085 --> 01:05:23,586
How do you do?
744
01:05:23,586 --> 01:05:26,297
I expect you're quite anxious
to get out the brooch.
745
01:05:26,297 --> 01:05:29,259
Stephen, would you be so kind?
746
01:05:29,259 --> 01:05:30,385
Oh, you know,
747
01:05:30,385 --> 01:05:33,263
I've had second thoughts
almost about giving it up.
748
01:05:33,263 --> 01:05:36,683
The house would seem
so empty without it.
749
01:05:37,142 --> 01:05:40,311
Oh, I say, it is magnificent.
750
01:05:40,311 --> 01:05:41,855
What do you think, lan?
751
01:05:47,318 --> 01:05:50,822
Made by a gypsy
in Newark, New Jersey.
752
01:05:51,364 --> 01:05:52,740
What?
753
01:05:52,740 --> 01:05:55,618
Made by a gypsy
in Newark, New Jersey.
754
01:05:55,618 --> 01:05:57,287
It's not even worth a pound.
755
01:06:01,541 --> 01:06:02,750
My God.
756
01:06:03,585 --> 01:06:05,670
Would you say
that it was worth half a pound,
757
01:06:05,670 --> 01:06:07,755
or a dollar and a half
in American money?
758
01:06:07,755 --> 01:06:08,798
Roughly.
759
01:06:08,798 --> 01:06:13,428
Aunt Sybil,
there's been a dreadful mistake.
760
01:06:13,428 --> 01:06:17,724
You see, you have Sugar's pin
and she has the Buckingham Brooch.
761
01:06:17,724 --> 01:06:18,933
Sugar?
762
01:06:19,517 --> 01:06:23,855
Isn't that charming girl staying
at your flat in New York?
763
01:06:23,855 --> 01:06:25,148
Yes, quite.
764
01:06:25,148 --> 01:06:26,941
I'm sure
we can straighten this all out.
765
01:06:26,941 --> 01:06:28,985
Of course, dear.
766
01:06:28,985 --> 01:06:31,946
Oh, Cyril,
please do accept my apologies.
767
01:06:31,946 --> 01:06:33,740
Oh, do go on into breakfast.
768
01:06:33,740 --> 01:06:35,450
We'll join you shortly.
769
01:06:35,450 --> 01:06:40,205
I'm quite sure that we can straighten
this all out in due time.
770
01:06:40,205 --> 01:06:43,374
Egbert, pack a trunk
and get the Concorde.
771
01:06:43,374 --> 01:06:44,834
Call Max in New York.
772
01:06:44,834 --> 01:06:46,503
I want those two girls arrested.
773
01:06:46,503 --> 01:06:49,547
Aunt Sybil, it's all a mistake.
774
01:06:49,547 --> 01:06:51,466
Mistake, mistake.
775
01:06:52,884 --> 01:06:58,431
Like it or not,
that cunt has the Buckingham Brooch.
776
01:07:15,823 --> 01:07:17,242
-Hello?
-Candy?
777
01:07:17,242 --> 01:07:18,701
-Yes?
-This is Stephen.
778
01:07:18,701 --> 01:07:21,287
I can only talk a second.
There's been a mix-up.
779
01:07:21,287 --> 01:07:22,956
Sugar has the Buckingham Brooch.
780
01:07:23,248 --> 01:07:25,625
-What?
-Aunt Sybil and I are flying over.
781
01:07:25,625 --> 01:07:27,794
For God's sake, don't let that
brooch out of your sight.
782
01:07:27,794 --> 01:07:29,712
It's safe. Sugar has it.
783
01:07:29,712 --> 01:07:32,090
Good. Don't let anyone in.
784
01:07:32,090 --> 01:07:34,592
Aunt Sybil has sent
a detective over to arrest you.
785
01:07:34,592 --> 01:07:36,386
He's probably watching
the apartment already.
786
01:07:36,386 --> 01:07:37,720
Arrest us?
787
01:07:37,720 --> 01:07:40,598
Look, we'll straighten it all out
when I get there, all right?
788
01:07:40,598 --> 01:07:43,268
All right, bye.
789
01:07:45,937 --> 01:07:48,189
Oh, hi. I'm shattered.
790
01:07:48,189 --> 01:07:51,234
I walked all over getting these
for my bunches.
791
01:07:51,234 --> 01:07:52,819
Did you know Manhattan's an island?
792
01:07:52,819 --> 01:07:54,571
Sugar, do you have your pin?
793
01:07:54,571 --> 01:07:57,448
No, I lent it to Bill downstairs.
794
01:07:57,448 --> 01:08:00,994
He's going to a drag ball tonight
at the Pits. That's a club.
795
01:08:00,994 --> 01:08:02,370
Oh, swell.
796
01:08:02,370 --> 01:08:05,832
Your pin is Lady Buckingham's brooch.
Stephen just called.
797
01:08:05,832 --> 01:08:07,750
Oh, Candy, don't get flustered.
798
01:08:07,750 --> 01:08:09,961
We'll just go down to the Pits
and get it back again.
799
01:08:09,961 --> 01:08:11,546
We can't. Stephen said
800
01:08:11,546 --> 01:08:15,508
not to leave the apartment.
There's a detective on our tail.
801
01:08:15,508 --> 01:08:16,718
Oonh.
802
01:08:16,718 --> 01:08:19,220
Just like in the movies, you mean?
803
01:08:19,220 --> 01:08:22,640
We'll just have to get somebody else
to go and get it back for us.
804
01:08:22,640 --> 01:08:23,850
I know. Max.
805
01:08:24,475 --> 01:08:25,602
We can trust Max.
806
01:08:35,236 --> 01:08:36,279
Dammit.
807
01:08:36,279 --> 01:08:38,323
What do you think this is,
the Queen Mary?
808
01:08:38,323 --> 01:08:41,326
Can't you make this thing go faster,
you twit?
809
01:08:43,328 --> 01:08:45,413
-Who is it?
-It's me, Max.
810
01:08:47,498 --> 01:08:49,042
Max, come on in.
811
01:08:49,042 --> 01:08:51,419
You've got to help us.
We want you to go to the Pits.
812
01:08:51,461 --> 01:08:53,796
I've got a warrant here
for your arrest.
813
01:08:53,796 --> 01:08:55,673
You? You bastard.
814
01:08:55,673 --> 01:08:57,717
Anything you say
may be held against you.
815
01:08:57,717 --> 01:08:59,719
You girls coming along willingly?
816
01:08:59,719 --> 01:09:01,220
Sure.
817
01:09:07,435 --> 01:09:09,395
Let me out of here, you bitches.
818
01:09:09,395 --> 01:09:10,605
Sticks and stones
819
01:09:10,605 --> 01:09:12,398
may break my bones --
-Come on.
820
01:09:12,398 --> 01:09:14,692
We've got to get to the Club Pits.
821
01:09:22,116 --> 01:09:23,826
Come on, come on.
822
01:09:23,826 --> 01:09:25,078
Remember the orphans.
823
01:09:25,745 --> 01:09:29,040
-The orphans?
-Your ass, faster.
824
01:09:29,040 --> 01:09:30,667
Just get us there.
825
01:09:40,051 --> 01:09:42,887
Say Joe sent us.
That always works.
826
01:09:42,887 --> 01:09:44,722
-Joe sent us.
-Blow.
827
01:09:44,722 --> 01:09:47,100
Joe Blow, that rings a bell.
828
01:09:47,100 --> 01:09:49,977
They won't let us in
because we're girls.
829
01:09:50,019 --> 01:09:52,230
That's indiscrimination, Candy.
830
01:09:52,230 --> 01:09:53,731
Unless.
831
01:09:55,066 --> 01:09:56,901
Now, let me do the talking.
832
01:10:00,780 --> 01:10:01,906
Yeah?
833
01:10:02,532 --> 01:10:04,617
We're the new drags for the show.
834
01:10:04,617 --> 01:10:06,828
I don't know anything
about a new act.
835
01:10:06,828 --> 01:10:09,664
Look, Mary,
you want your balls cut off?
836
01:10:09,664 --> 01:10:12,250
Oh. Oh, well, come on in.
837
01:10:12,250 --> 01:10:13,626
Welcome to the neighborhood.
838
01:10:13,626 --> 01:10:14,836
Neighborhood?
839
01:10:16,129 --> 01:10:18,339
I don't live in the neighborhood.
840
01:10:18,339 --> 01:10:20,174
Fuck the neighborhood.
841
01:10:20,174 --> 01:10:21,926
Land at LaGuardia.
842
01:10:39,777 --> 01:10:44,407
Thank you, thank you.
843
01:10:44,407 --> 01:10:47,452
Now, if I can ever get off
this dreadful stage,
844
01:10:47,452 --> 01:10:49,620
we can get on with our show.
845
01:10:49,620 --> 01:10:51,706
Here, honey,
somebody hold this microphone.
846
01:10:51,706 --> 01:10:52,999
You see Bill?
847
01:10:52,999 --> 01:10:54,751
I can't see anything.
848
01:10:56,586 --> 01:10:58,546
You take that side
and I'll take this one.
849
01:10:58,546 --> 01:11:00,798
-Okay, hang on.
-Testing.
850
01:11:00,798 --> 01:11:03,968
Now, ladies and gentlemen,
we have a very special treat for you.
851
01:11:03,968 --> 01:11:06,012
The Club Pits for having
its annual charity
852
01:11:06,012 --> 01:11:08,139
drag show this very evening.
853
01:11:08,139 --> 01:11:10,224
I want you to remember
that every watered down beer
854
01:11:10,224 --> 01:11:14,854
you buy goes to our favorite cause,
the restoration of my face.
855
01:11:14,854 --> 01:11:16,606
Ha.
Oh.
856
01:11:16,606 --> 01:11:18,483
Our first beauty tonight comes to us
857
01:11:18,483 --> 01:11:22,069
from a record-breaking engagement
at the Women's House of Detention,
858
01:11:22,069 --> 01:11:26,032
the fabulous, sophisticated,
one and only Miss Kiki.
859
01:11:26,032 --> 01:11:30,161
Smile, darling, it's your only hope.
860
01:11:30,161 --> 01:11:34,165
Keep your hands off her,
you lust pig.
861
01:11:34,165 --> 01:11:35,458
I saw that.
862
01:11:35,458 --> 01:11:40,463
Oh, oh and now,
the incredible Dolly.
863
01:11:40,463 --> 01:11:47,470
A vision in pink satin, with feathers
by Chicken Cluckers Limited.
864
01:11:47,470 --> 01:11:50,640
After the show, she's going to do
her famous Dance of the Virgins,
865
01:11:50,640 --> 01:11:53,559
strictly from memory.
866
01:11:53,559 --> 01:11:56,521
You'll have to excuse me tonight,
867
01:11:56,521 --> 01:11:59,607
darlings,
I have a little frog in my throat.
868
01:11:59,607 --> 01:12:00,900
But since it's the best piece of meat
869
01:12:00,900 --> 01:12:05,446
I've had all week,
I think I'll keep it.
870
01:12:05,446 --> 01:12:07,615
Now, the mad woman
871
01:12:07,615 --> 01:12:09,116
of Christopher Street.
872
01:12:09,116 --> 01:12:12,286
Look out, boys,
it's thunder thighs herself.
873
01:12:12,286 --> 01:12:15,915
Dazzling in deadly black velvet,
with matching fan.
874
01:12:15,915 --> 01:12:19,001
Darling, you may not be the ugliest
drag queen here tonight,
875
01:12:19,001 --> 01:12:21,212
but when she dies --
876
01:12:21,212 --> 01:12:23,047
If you don't feel like applauding,
877
01:12:23,047 --> 01:12:25,758
you can always bang your handcuffs
against the table or something.
878
01:12:27,385 --> 01:12:29,554
-By the way --
-Any luck?
879
01:12:29,554 --> 01:12:32,431
No, but now I know
why they call them fairies.
880
01:12:32,431 --> 01:12:34,308
Talk about magic wands.
881
01:12:34,308 --> 01:12:37,687
-Wowee.
-Elevator girls in bondage.
882
01:12:37,687 --> 01:12:39,689
I know you won't want
to miss that one.
883
01:12:39,689 --> 01:12:43,943
She's wearing a gold satin schmatta
with embroidered cuffs.
884
01:12:43,943 --> 01:12:45,862
How about those teardrop earrings?
885
01:12:45,862 --> 01:12:47,989
Couldn't you just die?
886
01:12:47,989 --> 01:12:51,158
Just perfect
for the temple or cathedral.
887
01:12:51,158 --> 01:12:53,160
Personally,
I never go to church myself.
888
01:12:53,160 --> 01:12:55,246
All that kneeling bags my nylons.
889
01:12:55,830 --> 01:12:58,916
Hey, Louis at the door tells me
you two are the new drag act.
890
01:12:58,916 --> 01:12:59,959
That's right.
891
01:12:59,959 --> 01:13:02,211
I didn't hire any new drag acts.
892
01:13:02,211 --> 01:13:04,547
Listen, Mary,
you want your balls cut off?
893
01:13:04,547 --> 01:13:06,424
You want your tit shot off?
894
01:13:06,424 --> 01:13:07,884
We'd better be going.
895
01:13:07,884 --> 01:13:10,386
Mary, just a minute.
Let's see what you can do.
896
01:13:10,386 --> 01:13:12,680
-But we don't do anything.
-Dance.
897
01:13:14,473 --> 01:13:17,602
No. Up there.
898
01:13:18,561 --> 01:13:21,647
Don't anybody move.
We've got you surrounded.
899
01:13:22,315 --> 01:13:23,649
I knew they'd wreck the place.
900
01:13:23,649 --> 01:13:24,942
Now you've got rats.
901
01:13:24,942 --> 01:13:28,029
Let me out of here! Let me out of here!
902
01:13:28,738 --> 01:13:30,448
Max, what on earth?
903
01:13:30,448 --> 01:13:32,491
Oh, they locked me in the closet.
904
01:13:32,491 --> 01:13:33,784
Candy and Sugar?
905
01:13:33,784 --> 01:13:37,288
Oh, no, there must have been
10 of them.
906
01:13:37,288 --> 01:13:39,457
Though Sugar and Candy
are the ringleaders.
907
01:13:39,957 --> 01:13:41,459
Oh my God.
908
01:13:41,500 --> 01:13:42,710
Spies.
909
01:13:51,344 --> 01:13:53,721
Hey, that brunette
ain't a bad drag at all.
910
01:13:53,721 --> 01:13:54,931
Great tits.
911
01:14:06,525 --> 01:14:09,236
Take it off.
Oh, come on.
912
01:14:12,114 --> 01:14:14,492
Maybe I ought to keep these two on.
913
01:14:14,492 --> 01:14:16,494
On what?
914
01:14:21,374 --> 01:14:22,500
Come on,
915
01:14:22,500 --> 01:14:27,254
Blackfoot, move your ass,
or you'll be pounding .
916
01:14:27,880 --> 01:14:30,633
I heard that one on the telly.
917
01:14:33,803 --> 01:14:36,889
Great tits, but let me see your ass.
918
01:14:38,265 --> 01:14:40,142
What are you doing?
919
01:14:40,810 --> 01:14:44,313
-Take it off.
-Take it off.
920
01:14:53,948 --> 01:14:56,826
I hope her cock
is as big as her tits.
921
01:14:58,536 --> 01:15:01,163
-Take it off.
-Take it off.
922
01:15:02,748 --> 01:15:04,750
Sugar.
923
01:15:15,386 --> 01:15:17,054
Hey, show it hard.
924
01:15:17,054 --> 01:15:18,639
Pass it to papa.
925
01:15:20,850 --> 01:15:24,186
-Take it off.
-Take it off.
926
01:15:25,271 --> 01:15:28,232
-Take it off, Sugar.
-No.
927
01:15:41,871 --> 01:15:43,247
Hey, Manny?
928
01:15:43,789 --> 01:15:47,668
No, no. It's me, Bill.
929
01:16:00,848 --> 01:16:02,016
My brooch.
930
01:16:02,016 --> 01:16:03,350
My God.
931
01:16:03,350 --> 01:16:04,769
My word.
932
01:16:06,562 --> 01:16:07,646
Seize them.
933
01:16:25,122 --> 01:16:27,208
All right, you're under arrest.
934
01:16:27,208 --> 01:16:30,002
-You're also an ugly drag.
-Oh.
935
01:16:33,714 --> 01:16:35,216
Stop it, Kojak.
936
01:16:42,556 --> 01:16:45,810
I have never been so humiliated
in all my life.
937
01:16:46,018 --> 01:16:47,561
Fingerprinted.
938
01:16:47,561 --> 01:16:49,355
I've missed you too, sweetheart.
939
01:16:49,355 --> 01:16:51,690
This is all your fault.
I wanted to go to the opera.
940
01:16:51,690 --> 01:16:54,985
Yes, but Lewis said Joe sent them,
and Joe didn't send them.
941
01:16:54,985 --> 01:16:56,028
Capisce?
942
01:16:56,028 --> 01:16:58,239
No, you got to boil it first.
943
01:16:58,239 --> 01:17:00,574
I got mine at JC Penny.
944
01:17:01,158 --> 01:17:02,701
Get me out of here.
945
01:17:02,701 --> 01:17:04,870
Hey, hey, let's keep it down in here.
946
01:17:04,870 --> 01:17:06,413
The captain's trying to sleep.
947
01:17:06,413 --> 01:17:08,082
Did you call my lawyer?
948
01:17:08,082 --> 01:17:09,792
-Yes, ma'am.
-Did you call my mother?
949
01:17:10,167 --> 01:17:12,002
I left a message.
950
01:17:12,002 --> 01:17:14,630
Never at home.
951
01:17:15,256 --> 01:17:17,550
Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
952
01:17:17,550 --> 01:17:21,637
-At least the brooch --
-Oh, Lyle, thank God.
953
01:17:30,604 --> 01:17:34,066
All right.
The following people are free to go.
954
01:17:34,066 --> 01:17:37,736
Lady Buckingham, Stephen Carlisle,
955
01:17:37,736 --> 01:17:41,448
-Eric Smith, and --
-That's Mike.
956
01:17:41,740 --> 01:17:43,409
Max.
957
01:17:46,120 --> 01:17:47,913
Do you have a brother in Chicago?
958
01:17:48,706 --> 01:17:51,041
-Yes, he's a theatrical agent.
-He's a fraud.
959
01:17:51,041 --> 01:17:52,334
Easy, now.
960
01:17:52,334 --> 01:17:54,503
That's the son of a bitch
who wanted our $100.
961
01:17:54,503 --> 01:17:57,965
I wouldn't call names
if I were you, my dear.
962
01:17:57,965 --> 01:18:01,051
Max has told me what you are,
how you tried to proposition him
963
01:18:01,051 --> 01:18:03,137
and then had your cronies
lock him in a closet.
964
01:18:03,137 --> 01:18:04,305
Propositioned?
965
01:18:04,305 --> 01:18:05,598
Stephen, that's not true.
966
01:18:05,598 --> 01:18:06,724
I, for one, believe it.
967
01:18:06,724 --> 01:18:08,434
Max has never lied to me.
968
01:18:08,434 --> 01:18:10,060
Family men don't lie.
969
01:18:10,060 --> 01:18:12,563
Oh, a family man.
970
01:18:12,563 --> 01:18:14,190
Come along, Stephen.
971
01:18:14,190 --> 01:18:15,524
What about the rest?
972
01:18:15,524 --> 01:18:16,817
We can't just leave them here.
973
01:18:16,817 --> 01:18:18,277
Yeah, what about us?
974
01:18:18,277 --> 01:18:20,112
You can sit and rot.
975
01:18:20,112 --> 01:18:23,115
You ought to be ashamed of yourself,
owning a place like that.
976
01:18:23,115 --> 01:18:24,241
Degenerate.
977
01:18:24,241 --> 01:18:25,492
The pits indeed.
978
01:18:25,492 --> 01:18:26,785
Beg pardon, ma'am,
979
01:18:26,785 --> 01:18:32,082
but you own the Club Pits.
It's one of your warehouses.
980
01:18:32,583 --> 01:18:35,127
-My warehouses?
-My boss?
981
01:18:35,127 --> 01:18:37,129
My family man.
982
01:18:37,129 --> 01:18:38,339
My mistake.
983
01:18:38,339 --> 01:18:40,549
My aching feet.
984
01:18:40,549 --> 01:18:41,842
My Luke.
985
01:18:41,842 --> 01:18:43,219
Howdy, honey.
986
01:18:43,761 --> 01:18:45,137
What are you doing here?
987
01:18:45,137 --> 01:18:46,680
I struck it rich.
988
01:18:46,680 --> 01:18:50,100
Big Boy's tonic fell on my head
and it grows hair.
989
01:18:50,100 --> 01:18:51,393
I'm a millionaire.
990
01:18:51,393 --> 01:18:52,937
Marry me, Sugar.
991
01:18:54,605 --> 01:18:55,689
Marry me, Candy.
992
01:18:57,858 --> 01:19:00,402
Millionaires? Come along, dears.
993
01:19:00,402 --> 01:19:02,321
I'm certain
we can straighten this all out.
994
01:19:02,321 --> 01:19:03,322
Not you, Max.
995
01:19:03,322 --> 01:19:05,908
You obviously don't know
good breeding when you see it.
996
01:19:18,921 --> 01:19:20,756
As the Americans say,
997
01:19:20,756 --> 01:19:23,968
when you're hot, you're hot,
and hot they were.
998
01:19:23,968 --> 01:19:26,595
The raid at the Club Pits
and the ensuing publicity
999
01:19:26,595 --> 01:19:30,349
catapulted the Kane sisters
to the top of the proverbial heap.
1000
01:19:30,349 --> 01:19:32,893
After an international tour
that could only be described
1001
01:19:32,893 --> 01:19:34,019
as devastating,
1002
01:19:34,019 --> 01:19:37,314
the Kane sisters returned
to the Big Apple in triumph.
1003
01:19:37,314 --> 01:19:40,359
Lady Buckingham was so overwhelmed
by the notoriety
1004
01:19:40,359 --> 01:19:42,861
and the big bucks pouring
into the box office
1005
01:19:42,861 --> 01:19:45,531
that she bought the girls
their very own nightclub,
1006
01:19:45,531 --> 01:19:46,991
the Chez Gauche.
1007
01:19:48,701 --> 01:19:51,203
Yes, there's nothing like
a riot in a fag bar
1008
01:19:51,203 --> 01:19:55,499
and a night in the slammer
to ensure showbusiness immortality.
1009
01:21:41,647 --> 01:21:43,399
Success at last.
1010
01:21:43,399 --> 01:21:45,067
A view from the top.
1011
01:21:45,359 --> 01:21:47,903
As we gaze back down
the slope of ascent,
1012
01:21:47,903 --> 01:21:51,365
I see we neglected to mention
a most essential item.
1013
01:21:51,365 --> 01:21:54,118
Pluck. Good old pluck.
1014
01:21:54,118 --> 01:21:58,205
Pluck the attitude, of course,
but also pluck the verb.
1015
01:21:58,205 --> 01:22:00,999
Knowing how to pluck,
and when to pluck,
1016
01:22:00,999 --> 01:22:04,044
and especially who to pluck.
72418
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