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2
00:00:07,340 --> 00:00:08,320
Thank you so much
for coming.
3
00:00:08,750 --> 00:00:10,250
We had the Amazing Donald
performing between periods
4
00:00:10,330 --> 00:00:11,500
and his rabbit got away.
5
00:00:11,500 --> 00:00:13,330
Oh, we are very familiar
with AD.
6
00:00:13,330 --> 00:00:15,180
Congrats on the charges
being dropped.
7
00:00:15,260 --> 00:00:17,500
He lost 200 pigeons at a
corporate event last month.
8
00:00:17,580 --> 00:00:20,100
Come on!
Get that bunny off the ice!
9
00:00:20,100 --> 00:00:21,580
Oh, the crowd's
getting restless.
10
00:00:21,580 --> 00:00:23,600
-Alright. Let's do this, Shred.
11
00:00:23,670 --> 00:00:25,230
-Ok.
-Ok.
12
00:00:26,840 --> 00:00:27,750
Woah!
13
00:00:27,750 --> 00:00:29,750
-Hey!
14
00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:31,040
We're the good guys!
15
00:00:31,030 --> 00:00:32,590
Don't engage them.
They're hockey fans.
16
00:00:32,590 --> 00:00:34,760
They'll start throwing stuff,
like their babies.
17
00:00:34,760 --> 00:00:36,020
Hold on, hold on.
18
00:00:36,100 --> 00:00:37,360
Hey! Get him!
20
00:00:38,870 --> 00:00:40,760
-Okay, excuse me.
21
00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:42,780
Can I get a stick?
22
00:00:42,790 --> 00:00:44,550
Okay. Here we go.
23
00:00:44,620 --> 00:00:47,380
Ok. Here we go.
Ok. Ok.
24
00:00:50,370 --> 00:00:52,200
I'm coming.
Here I come.
25
00:00:52,280 --> 00:00:53,390
You got it!
27
00:00:57,710 --> 00:00:58,730
You got it, Frank.
28
00:01:01,060 --> 00:01:03,060
Nice and easy.
Just hop in there, bunny.
31
00:01:07,460 --> 00:01:09,360
I think I just invented
a new sport.
32
00:01:10,550 --> 00:01:12,110
Yeah!
33
00:01:13,630 --> 00:01:14,960
Woooo!
35
00:01:45,270 --> 00:01:47,510
Man, your dating profile
is fire, Frank.
36
00:01:47,590 --> 00:01:49,260
Look at that picture
of you gardening.
37
00:01:49,340 --> 00:01:51,100
I don't even know
what vegetable that is.
38
00:01:51,170 --> 00:01:51,670
It's so cool.
39
00:01:51,670 --> 00:01:52,590
It's a parsnip.
40
00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:53,600
And you should probably
familiarize yourself
41
00:01:54,100 --> 00:01:56,360
with organisms on your
intellectual wavelength.
42
00:01:56,430 --> 00:01:58,860
If I didn't know you were real
I'd think you're fake.
43
00:01:58,940 --> 00:02:03,190
Man in uniform saving kittens,
community garden, 6'4"...
44
00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:04,630
Ashley and I have been messaging
non-stop
45
00:02:04,700 --> 00:02:06,180
since we matched
two weeks ago.
46
00:02:06,190 --> 00:02:07,690
Isn't getting to know people
the best?
47
00:02:07,690 --> 00:02:10,690
But it's weird because I now
know so much about her.
48
00:02:10,690 --> 00:02:11,870
I helped her pick out a rug.
49
00:02:11,950 --> 00:02:12,630
I mean, we talk about everything
50
00:02:12,970 --> 00:02:15,030
except for going on
an actual date.
51
00:02:15,030 --> 00:02:15,880
That's how dating is now.
52
00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:17,040
It's why the birth rate
is declining.
53
00:02:17,530 --> 00:02:20,140
No. I'm gonna speed things up.
I'm gonna call her.
54
00:02:20,220 --> 00:02:22,310
That's a mistake.
Nobody calls.
55
00:02:22,380 --> 00:02:24,140
Well, why would there be
a call button on the app
56
00:02:24,220 --> 00:02:25,560
if nobody does that?
57
00:02:27,150 --> 00:02:28,540
Truck 12 calling for back-up.
58
00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:32,060
Frank is trying to call a lady
out of the blue on a dating app.
59
00:02:32,140 --> 00:02:33,140
Truck 8 responding.
60
00:02:33,380 --> 00:02:35,400
Don't do that. Nobody does that.
It's weird.
61
00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:36,570
I'm calling.
63
00:02:37,880 --> 00:02:39,110
Standing by.
64
00:02:40,330 --> 00:02:41,160
Hello?
65
00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:43,550
Oh hey, Ashley, it's Frank.
66
00:02:43,560 --> 00:02:44,500
Ok.
67
00:02:44,810 --> 00:02:46,220
I know that, um, we've been
messaging a lot,
68
00:02:46,230 --> 00:02:48,990
but I thought that uh,
we could actually talk.
69
00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:52,060
And here's me talking.
How are you?
70
00:02:52,060 --> 00:02:54,650
To be honest, a little
uncomfortable.
71
00:02:54,730 --> 00:02:56,260
Ooh, that's not good.
72
00:02:57,030 --> 00:02:58,000
Frank, watch your angle.
73
00:02:58,160 --> 00:03:00,590
From that low you're
all neck. There you go.
74
00:03:00,660 --> 00:03:03,010
Uh, do you want to go
to dinner sometime?
76
00:03:04,590 --> 00:03:05,590
The call dropped.
77
00:03:05,670 --> 00:03:07,480
Oh, that was a delightful
train wreck.
78
00:03:08,020 --> 00:03:09,310
Delightful.
79
00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:12,850
How did they find me?
80
00:03:12,920 --> 00:03:13,690
No way.
81
00:03:14,010 --> 00:03:16,030
No. Another gift from
your secret admirer?
82
00:03:16,100 --> 00:03:17,080
Yes, Blummies.
83
00:03:17,090 --> 00:03:18,180
A what?
84
00:03:18,420 --> 00:03:19,510
Which is crazy, I don't know how
they found these.
85
00:03:19,590 --> 00:03:20,420
What are Blummies?
86
00:03:20,430 --> 00:03:20,690
Blood gummies?
87
00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:21,510
Hmm.
88
00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:22,780
Never caught on outside
New Zealand.
89
00:03:22,850 --> 00:03:23,780
There's so many of them.
90
00:03:23,780 --> 00:03:25,350
I mean, do you guys want
a pack?
91
00:03:25,690 --> 00:03:27,930
I'll take some home.
Rick's an adventurous eater.
92
00:03:27,930 --> 00:03:30,280
He once ate yogurt that had
been expired for two days.
93
00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:31,530
Mmhmm, crazy.
94
00:03:31,860 --> 00:03:35,120
Hold on, this says that my
secret admirer is finally ready
95
00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:37,440
to reveal themselves tomorrow
morning at 9:00.
96
00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:39,360
You're not actually
into this walking, talking,
97
00:03:39,450 --> 00:03:41,780
future true crime podcast,
are you?
98
00:03:41,780 --> 00:03:43,060
Well, they're really trying.
99
00:03:43,060 --> 00:03:45,130
And not in a creepy,
calling-out-of-the-blue
100
00:03:45,130 --> 00:03:46,450
-on a dating app kind of way.
True.
101
00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:49,290
Yeah, it's not creepy at all
to send blood-based candies
102
00:03:49,290 --> 00:03:51,120
from an undisclosed location.
103
00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:52,730
That's extortion!
104
00:03:52,810 --> 00:03:54,140
Shred, get over here!
105
00:03:54,220 --> 00:03:55,480
Our house flip is about to flop.
106
00:03:55,550 --> 00:03:58,050
The bid from the contractor
came in. It's $10,000.
107
00:03:58,130 --> 00:03:59,390
For a simple paint
and carpet job?
108
00:03:59,390 --> 00:04:01,160
For a simple paint
and carpet job!
109
00:04:02,300 --> 00:04:04,320
Ok, you're out, Greg.
110
00:04:04,390 --> 00:04:07,300
Going with plan B.
See ya. Patel. Send.
111
00:04:07,310 --> 00:04:09,310
Ok, well we probably should've
had a quick side bar.
112
00:04:09,310 --> 00:04:11,490
But it's cool.
What's plan B?
113
00:04:11,570 --> 00:04:14,650
Uh, plan B is we do
it ourselves.
114
00:04:14,650 --> 00:04:15,500
Hell yeah.
115
00:04:15,500 --> 00:04:16,320
Right?
116
00:04:16,320 --> 00:04:17,320
Are we capable of that?
117
00:04:17,570 --> 00:04:19,750
Not only are we capable,
we cost zero dollars.
118
00:04:19,840 --> 00:04:22,350
Ok, then yet again, hell yeah!
120
00:04:26,450 --> 00:04:27,160
Pssst.
121
00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:28,180
-Sorry.
122
00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:31,170
Um, hey. So I know someone
that works at the DMV.
123
00:04:31,160 --> 00:04:32,160
Oh, no one likes a braggart.
124
00:04:32,420 --> 00:04:34,100
She ran the plates on the car
that dropped off
125
00:04:34,180 --> 00:04:35,660
the Komodo dragon, no hits.
126
00:04:35,670 --> 00:04:38,310
Oh. So, fake plates?
Wait, what's that?
128
00:04:39,430 --> 00:04:40,760
Good point.
Maybe a stolen car.
129
00:04:40,840 --> 00:04:43,190
That's what she thinks,
so she's gonna keep digging
130
00:04:43,340 --> 00:04:45,280
and let me know if she finds out
anything else.
131
00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:46,180
Ok.
132
00:04:46,810 --> 00:04:49,530
So... I heard about the call.
133
00:04:49,610 --> 00:04:51,610
Yeah, I used my phone
calling device
134
00:04:51,610 --> 00:04:54,190
to make an actual call
to a person.
135
00:04:54,190 --> 00:04:55,370
What a weirdo I am.
136
00:04:55,370 --> 00:04:57,520
Sorry, online dating sucks.
137
00:04:57,520 --> 00:05:00,450
Yeah. It's a hellscape
of personality disorders.
138
00:05:00,530 --> 00:05:02,640
I don't know why I can't just
meet someone in real life.
139
00:05:02,710 --> 00:05:03,950
Totally.
140
00:05:04,030 --> 00:05:04,860
Through a friend
or something, right?
141
00:05:04,860 --> 00:05:05,950
Right.
142
00:05:06,210 --> 00:05:07,030
I mean, that way you could find
somebody compatible
143
00:05:07,550 --> 00:05:09,140
and possibly have a shot
at an actual relationship.
144
00:05:09,220 --> 00:05:12,220
Exactly, 'cause actual dating
is the worst.
145
00:05:12,300 --> 00:05:14,060
-Yeah. It's the worst.
-Mmhmm.
146
00:05:14,130 --> 00:05:15,650
I mean, do you have somebody
in mind or whatever?
147
00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:17,390
I really don't care... whatever.
148
00:05:17,470 --> 00:05:19,060
Wait, are you-- are you
actually asking me
149
00:05:19,140 --> 00:05:20,230
to set you up with somebody?
150
00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:22,990
Please, I'm 6'4�.
I don't need help dating.
151
00:05:23,070 --> 00:05:24,400
Do you have somebody in mind
or whatever?
152
00:05:24,470 --> 00:05:25,490
I really don't care... whatever.
153
00:05:25,830 --> 00:05:28,560
Wait, do you not want my help
or do you want my help?
154
00:05:28,550 --> 00:05:29,880
'Cause I actually have someone
in mind.
155
00:05:29,890 --> 00:05:30,910
What's she like?
156
00:05:31,150 --> 00:05:33,380
Ok, I'm confused so
I'm just gonna call Rick.
158
00:05:35,390 --> 00:05:36,720
Hey there, long legs.
159
00:05:36,730 --> 00:05:39,230
Hey Rick, you're on
speakerphone with Frank.
160
00:05:39,230 --> 00:05:40,650
What's up, my man?
161
00:05:40,730 --> 00:05:43,340
Um, so what do you think about
Tiffany for Frank?
162
00:05:43,420 --> 00:05:45,350
Uh, I love it.
Frank, she's great.
163
00:05:45,420 --> 00:05:46,490
She's a physical therapist.
164
00:05:46,570 --> 00:05:47,830
And she's also
into gardening
165
00:05:47,830 --> 00:05:48,750
so you have that in common.
166
00:05:48,830 --> 00:05:49,250
Mmm?
167
00:05:49,330 --> 00:05:50,330
Oh, great.
168
00:05:50,590 --> 00:05:53,240
And not that this matters
in the least, but...
169
00:05:53,250 --> 00:05:54,690
how would you describe
her looks?
170
00:05:55,260 --> 00:05:56,840
Take me off speaker.
171
00:05:56,840 --> 00:05:57,690
Ok.
172
00:05:58,430 --> 00:05:59,270
Here.
173
00:06:00,530 --> 00:06:01,320
I'm in.
174
00:06:03,590 --> 00:06:04,440
I hope he likes Tiffany.
175
00:06:04,530 --> 00:06:06,680
Oh, I'm sure he will,
she's great.
176
00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:08,260
And they have to like us
as a couple, too.
177
00:06:08,260 --> 00:06:09,370
Yeah, we need 'em
for game night.
178
00:06:09,700 --> 00:06:13,040
I just think Frank and Tiffany
would be perfect together.
179
00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:15,210
Do you think they would go
apple picking with us?
180
00:06:15,280 --> 00:06:16,690
I'm getting sweaty
just thinking about it.
182
00:06:19,290 --> 00:06:22,670
Wait, yeah, you don't--
you don't look so great.
184
00:06:24,110 --> 00:06:25,110
Oh, what's-- what's happening?
186
00:06:26,130 --> 00:06:27,300
Oh. I think I overdid it
on the Blummies.
187
00:06:27,370 --> 00:06:28,720
-Oh, ok.
-Give me that bag.
188
00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:31,380
Uh, what-- what bag?
There is no bag!
189
00:06:31,450 --> 00:06:32,120
Wait, do you want this?
190
00:06:32,120 --> 00:06:33,140
Oh.
191
00:06:33,470 --> 00:06:35,290
Just like anything, like
a receipt or...
192
00:06:35,290 --> 00:06:37,460
Stop doing that 'cause
I'm a sympathetic vomiter.
194
00:06:40,130 --> 00:06:41,200
It's climbing.
195
00:06:41,790 --> 00:06:42,900
Oh, Frank, hey.
196
00:06:43,110 --> 00:06:45,550
I'm so sorry, um, Rick's
actually in the parking lot.
197
00:06:45,630 --> 00:06:48,460
He overdid it
with the blood candies
198
00:06:48,470 --> 00:06:50,750
and he's now sneezing
diarrhea,
199
00:06:50,820 --> 00:06:52,800
um, so we need to go
to a car wash
200
00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:54,220
and then probably
an urgent care.
201
00:06:54,230 --> 00:06:56,140
Everyone heard.
No one's eating now.
202
00:06:56,140 --> 00:06:57,320
Right. Ok, um, but I--
203
00:06:57,400 --> 00:07:00,140
Oh, okay. Hey Tiffany
this is Frank.
204
00:07:00,150 --> 00:07:01,320
-Hi.
-Frank, Tiffany.
205
00:07:01,310 --> 00:07:02,400
-Nice to meet you.
-Nice to meet you.
206
00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:05,150
But I feel like
I've seen you before.
207
00:07:05,150 --> 00:07:07,170
Do you garden at the Queen Ann
community garden?
208
00:07:07,240 --> 00:07:09,150
I do. Are you plot 14B?
209
00:07:09,150 --> 00:07:11,670
Yes, and you are 14A, right?
210
00:07:11,750 --> 00:07:12,750
I am, yeah.
211
00:07:13,010 --> 00:07:14,180
You have all of
that amazing bok choy.
212
00:07:14,180 --> 00:07:15,830
Gotta give credit
to the 200 days
213
00:07:15,830 --> 00:07:17,090
of annual rainfall that we get.
214
00:07:17,420 --> 00:07:19,750
But your snow peas, you-- you
wouldn't believe them, Emily.
215
00:07:19,830 --> 00:07:20,590
Oh.
216
00:07:20,590 --> 00:07:21,440
They're perfect.
217
00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:24,170
Um... uh, Rick keeps
texting me actually,
218
00:07:24,190 --> 00:07:26,260
and his texts are making
less and less sense,
219
00:07:26,340 --> 00:07:28,780
I think he might be delirious
so I um--
220
00:07:28,780 --> 00:07:30,110
-Go, go.
-I have to go.
221
00:07:30,190 --> 00:07:31,020
Go.
222
00:07:31,270 --> 00:07:32,680
I'm so sorry.
Are you gonna be ok?
223
00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:33,860
-Yes.
-Yes.
224
00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:35,460
You've introduced us and given
us quite a conversation starter.
225
00:07:36,530 --> 00:07:37,530
Let me ask you
something.
226
00:07:37,770 --> 00:07:39,700
What's the first thing
you touch in a room?
227
00:07:39,780 --> 00:07:40,610
Door.
228
00:07:40,690 --> 00:07:41,800
At night.
229
00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:42,690
Light switch.
230
00:07:42,690 --> 00:07:43,860
-Ding ding.
-Yeah.
231
00:07:43,860 --> 00:07:45,360
Look at these beauts.
232
00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:48,900
What the... authentic craftsman
style look?
233
00:07:48,890 --> 00:07:50,450
I like the sound of that.
234
00:07:50,530 --> 00:07:54,310
Oh my gosh.
They work with dimmers.
235
00:07:54,310 --> 00:07:55,200
Dude... no.
236
00:07:55,380 --> 00:07:57,530
It's like having 32 lights
in one.
237
00:07:57,540 --> 00:07:58,310
We have to, right?
238
00:07:58,390 --> 00:07:59,300
Dude, it's a no-brainer.
239
00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:01,050
Give the whole dining room
a facelift.
240
00:08:01,060 --> 00:08:01,730
-Yes!
-Yes!
241
00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:04,380
Oh god.
242
00:08:04,380 --> 00:08:05,300
What? What?
243
00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:06,150
It's Greg.
It's the guy we fired.
244
00:08:06,230 --> 00:08:06,730
No.
245
00:08:06,900 --> 00:08:07,720
He's coming over here.
246
00:08:07,710 --> 00:08:08,470
Greg's here.
247
00:08:08,550 --> 00:08:08,990
He's right there.
248
00:08:09,210 --> 00:08:10,060
Don't say anything.
249
00:08:10,140 --> 00:08:11,070
I'm gonna say something.
250
00:08:11,070 --> 00:08:12,390
Gre-
Greg.
251
00:08:12,380 --> 00:08:14,490
Greg?
252
00:08:14,500 --> 00:08:17,230
Greg. Hey man, what're--
what're you doing around here?
253
00:08:17,220 --> 00:08:19,660
I'm a general contractor.
I come here every day.
254
00:08:19,740 --> 00:08:20,720
Yeah, tell me about it.
255
00:08:20,730 --> 00:08:21,560
Totally.
256
00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:22,480
Yeah.
257
00:08:22,670 --> 00:08:24,320
So, who'd you end up going with
for the job?
258
00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:27,580
Uh, we actually-- we decided
to tackle it ourselves.
259
00:08:27,730 --> 00:08:28,150
Yep.
260
00:08:28,230 --> 00:08:29,250
You get it.
261
00:08:29,630 --> 00:08:32,570
Lot of Red Vines for a simple
paint and carpet job.
262
00:08:32,570 --> 00:08:34,160
Curious, do you think
this is enough paint
263
00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:36,090
for the whole job, or...?
265
00:08:37,170 --> 00:08:38,410
You guys know
what you're doing.
267
00:08:41,500 --> 00:08:45,590
And correct me if I'm wrong
but drywall is just wall?
268
00:08:45,680 --> 00:08:46,660
Greg?
269
00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:52,770
Oh hey. Is Rick alive?
270
00:08:52,850 --> 00:08:54,370
Uh, yeah.
He's keeping liquids down.
271
00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:56,420
Um, how was the date
last night?
272
00:08:56,430 --> 00:08:57,600
Pretty good.
273
00:08:57,930 --> 00:09:00,450
I give the appetizers a four,
the goodnight kiss a nine.
274
00:09:00,450 --> 00:09:02,630
I'd give it a full ten
but we clanked teeth.
275
00:09:02,630 --> 00:09:06,270
Ok, well it sounds like Tiffany
had a good time, too, so...
276
00:09:06,270 --> 00:09:07,360
Wait, did she text you?
277
00:09:07,700 --> 00:09:10,130
I texted her, actually.
Very casual, see how it went.
278
00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:12,390
She gave your date
a thumbs up.
279
00:09:12,460 --> 00:09:14,610
Alright, well I will accept
that rave review.
280
00:09:14,610 --> 00:09:15,720
Mmhmm.
281
00:09:16,060 --> 00:09:19,470
Wait a minute, uh, was it
an emoji or a text on its own
282
00:09:19,540 --> 00:09:21,060
or a reaction to a text?
May I?
283
00:09:21,140 --> 00:09:22,380
Ok.
284
00:09:22,710 --> 00:09:25,450
So it was a reaction to a text
which is not as good, right?
285
00:09:25,460 --> 00:09:27,240
No, no, she had a good time,
Frank.
286
00:09:27,310 --> 00:09:29,070
You're exactly
where you wanna be.
287
00:09:29,140 --> 00:09:30,960
Oh, no, I'm not.
I hate dating.
288
00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:33,050
I just wanna skip to the part
where we're binge watching
289
00:09:33,130 --> 00:09:34,300
tv shows and gaining weight.
290
00:09:34,300 --> 00:09:35,970
Like a relationship?
291
00:09:35,970 --> 00:09:37,390
I don't wanna put labels
on things.
292
00:09:37,470 --> 00:09:39,910
It's just that thing where
you're content and monogamous
293
00:09:39,990 --> 00:09:41,060
and all that crap.
294
00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:43,900
I could text her, propose
a second double date,
295
00:09:43,980 --> 00:09:44,900
maybe after work?
296
00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:46,250
What is going on with you
and double dates?
297
00:09:46,330 --> 00:09:48,400
Just be alone
with your boyfriend.
298
00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:49,590
Have you guys run out
of stories?
299
00:09:49,830 --> 00:09:52,480
This is not about me,
it's about you finding someone
300
00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:55,500
that you can, you know, bring to
game night or the apple orchard.
301
00:09:55,580 --> 00:09:57,750
Apple picking,
making apple tarts.
302
00:09:57,820 --> 00:09:59,500
Cool. Let's text her.
Great.
303
00:09:59,580 --> 00:10:00,430
Yeah? Ok.
304
00:10:00,750 --> 00:10:02,510
Sure. I mean, without
the apple picking.
305
00:10:02,510 --> 00:10:03,250
Maybe.
306
00:10:03,500 --> 00:10:04,350
People get paid
to pick apples.
308
00:10:05,590 --> 00:10:07,270
Hey, Tiffany's in.
Told you she likes you.
309
00:10:07,350 --> 00:10:09,590
That's great.
What did she say?
310
00:10:09,590 --> 00:10:10,590
Thumbs up. Yeah.
311
00:10:10,590 --> 00:10:11,180
Great.
313
00:10:12,690 --> 00:10:15,340
Ok, here we go.
314
00:10:15,340 --> 00:10:16,430
Wait, did you guys actually
set alarms?
315
00:10:16,510 --> 00:10:17,770
Oh yeah.
316
00:10:18,030 --> 00:10:20,180
T-minus five minutes until you
meet the stalker of your dreams.
317
00:10:20,180 --> 00:10:21,120
We found this
on your locker.
318
00:10:21,510 --> 00:10:23,450
I wanted to read it but
somebody wouldn't let me.
319
00:10:23,530 --> 00:10:24,680
All will be revealed in the--
320
00:10:24,870 --> 00:10:26,690
--in the multi-purpose room.
Yeah, I did take a peek.
321
00:10:26,690 --> 00:10:29,040
Awe, you get to meet your
one true love in the room
322
00:10:29,110 --> 00:10:30,440
where we de-worm cats.
323
00:10:30,460 --> 00:10:31,290
Wow.
324
00:10:31,300 --> 00:10:32,710
Ok, I will take it from here.
325
00:10:32,710 --> 00:10:33,530
Awesome.
326
00:10:33,710 --> 00:10:34,690
I think we should all
just take it.
327
00:10:35,560 --> 00:10:37,690
I... I think this...
this is a me thing.
328
00:10:37,700 --> 00:10:38,140
Mmhmm.
329
00:10:38,210 --> 00:10:39,210
Well, I mean...
330
00:10:39,470 --> 00:10:41,140
-I feel like a we... we thing.
-Yeah, I'll go.
331
00:10:41,220 --> 00:10:42,310
This has the potential
to be very romantic.
332
00:10:42,380 --> 00:10:43,380
Oh, yes, romantic.
333
00:10:43,870 --> 00:10:45,700
Once this person goes
from breaking into your locker
334
00:10:45,700 --> 00:10:48,310
to breaking into your home
you'll be positively swooning.
335
00:10:48,390 --> 00:10:49,370
Ok, shut up.
336
00:10:49,560 --> 00:10:50,710
I'm trying to be open
to the possibility
337
00:10:50,710 --> 00:10:52,060
of something different--
338
00:10:52,140 --> 00:10:52,990
Mmhmm.
339
00:10:53,380 --> 00:10:53,970
And I'm willing to give
this person a chance
340
00:10:54,470 --> 00:10:57,230
as long as they're over 18
and under...
341
00:10:57,880 --> 00:10:59,490
As long as they're over 18.
342
00:10:59,570 --> 00:11:00,330
Yeah.
344
00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:02,560
Wow.
345
00:11:02,650 --> 00:11:04,740
Oh Victoria!
346
00:11:04,810 --> 00:11:06,310
I knew it was water guy!
347
00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:07,820
Oh my god, yeah. I can
work with this.
348
00:11:07,890 --> 00:11:09,240
Hi.
349
00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:10,320
Uh...
350
00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:10,820
Oh.
351
00:11:10,900 --> 00:11:12,080
Pardon me.
352
00:11:12,730 --> 00:11:14,060
Happy birthday,
I guess.
353
00:11:14,070 --> 00:11:15,090
Yes, thank you.
354
00:11:15,900 --> 00:11:18,010
So it's not sexy water guy?
355
00:11:18,090 --> 00:11:19,090
Yeah, so who is it, then?
357
00:11:23,500 --> 00:11:24,760
Ta-dah!
358
00:11:24,760 --> 00:11:27,430
Ah, there he is. Ok.
359
00:11:27,500 --> 00:11:29,760
This is a prank.
Well done, Frank.
360
00:11:29,880 --> 00:11:30,750
Oh, no, I didn't do this.
361
00:11:30,750 --> 00:11:31,930
Of course it was Templeton.
362
00:11:32,270 --> 00:11:34,590
Literally the last person that
you would think it would be.
363
00:11:34,590 --> 00:11:35,420
This is a twist.
364
00:11:35,420 --> 00:11:37,090
-I got HR on hold...
-Uh-huh.
365
00:11:37,090 --> 00:11:39,420
-...just in case this escalates.
-Mmhmm.
366
00:11:39,420 --> 00:11:41,250
But also I'm recording this
because this is too much.
367
00:11:41,260 --> 00:11:42,290
Yeah.
368
00:11:42,590 --> 00:11:42,940
I thought it would
just be the two of us.
369
00:11:43,020 --> 00:11:43,610
Huh?
370
00:11:43,700 --> 00:11:44,680
We can't hear you
over here.
371
00:11:45,060 --> 00:11:45,450
-Can't hear what you're saying.
-'Cause I'm recording.
372
00:11:45,950 --> 00:11:46,470
Just turn it up
just a little.
373
00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:48,950
I said I thought it
would be the two of us,
374
00:11:48,950 --> 00:11:50,380
but I've come this far
so I'm wondering if,
375
00:11:50,450 --> 00:11:52,020
as your former secret admirer,
376
00:11:52,100 --> 00:11:55,360
I could openly admire you
on a date.
377
00:11:55,380 --> 00:11:56,620
You said you'd
be open to anyone.
378
00:11:56,700 --> 00:11:58,080
No thank you.
379
00:11:58,160 --> 00:12:00,700
Ah, well that was
three months and $3,500
380
00:12:00,780 --> 00:12:02,370
that was not spent wisely?
381
00:12:02,450 --> 00:12:04,370
Oh, well, from where
we're standing
382
00:12:04,450 --> 00:12:05,450
it was worth every penny.
383
00:12:05,630 --> 00:12:07,630
Alright, well you can tell
a man's character
384
00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:10,810
by how he reacts on
his darkest moment
385
00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:13,730
so I'm going to just leave
and do the right thing.
386
00:12:13,730 --> 00:12:14,640
Ok.
387
00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:15,480
Ok, everybody.
388
00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:19,620
You have a...
389
00:12:26,150 --> 00:12:28,080
What's that smell?
390
00:12:28,160 --> 00:12:31,250
Oh god, it smells like
burning hooves.
391
00:12:31,280 --> 00:12:32,120
Yeah.
392
00:12:39,330 --> 00:12:44,670
Somebody has killed the only
thing I've ever loved.
393
00:12:44,670 --> 00:12:45,550
Blummies.
394
00:12:46,580 --> 00:12:47,410
Templeton.
395
00:12:47,770 --> 00:12:49,590
Ohhh... .
396
00:12:49,660 --> 00:12:51,100
They jammed my boy.
397
00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:53,480
They jammed my boy!
398
00:12:54,500 --> 00:12:55,330
Oh boy.
399
00:12:55,590 --> 00:12:57,180
You brought this evil
into our house.
400
00:12:57,260 --> 00:12:59,840
Woah, back, ok?
Do not turn this around on me.
401
00:12:59,840 --> 00:13:00,610
A man asked me out.
402
00:13:01,010 --> 00:13:03,360
I said no and, what,
I deserve vengeance?
403
00:13:03,430 --> 00:13:05,260
And I'm just putting
this out there,
404
00:13:05,340 --> 00:13:07,190
it could have been Rick.
He also likes Blummies.
405
00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:08,850
Nope. This is Templeton
level of petty.
406
00:13:08,850 --> 00:13:09,870
He did this.
407
00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:12,030
He probably did it while we were
still laughing at him.
408
00:13:12,030 --> 00:13:13,960
He never complained,
409
00:13:14,040 --> 00:13:15,450
no matter what
I put inside him.
410
00:13:15,460 --> 00:13:16,630
What?
411
00:13:16,700 --> 00:13:18,180
That's tough wording, Frank.
412
00:13:18,190 --> 00:13:19,550
Yogurt time.
413
00:13:22,690 --> 00:13:24,090
I'm gonna come back, ok.
414
00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:29,720
-Cheers!
-Cheers!
416
00:13:33,390 --> 00:13:34,210
Mmm.
417
00:13:34,210 --> 00:13:35,230
-That is good.
-Mmhmm.
418
00:13:35,220 --> 00:13:36,180
Glad we got the bottle.
419
00:13:36,540 --> 00:13:37,720
Yeah, it really is the most
sophisticated way
420
00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:39,230
to get hammered.
421
00:13:39,230 --> 00:13:40,490
Be cool, my dear.
422
00:13:40,560 --> 00:13:41,480
I'm cool.
423
00:13:41,490 --> 00:13:42,640
I have your salads here.
424
00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:44,320
Oh, I don't believe
we ordered salads.
425
00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:46,490
Actually, uh, I took
the liberty,
426
00:13:46,570 --> 00:13:49,220
these salads are made with
vegetables from my garden.
427
00:13:49,220 --> 00:13:53,570
What? Frank, that is
so thoughtful and sweet.
428
00:13:53,650 --> 00:13:57,320
And I might have snuck
some of Tiffany's snow peas
429
00:13:57,400 --> 00:13:58,900
and watermelon radishes
in there.
430
00:13:58,900 --> 00:14:00,100
Oh.
431
00:14:00,100 --> 00:14:02,180
How delightfully unexpected.
432
00:14:02,180 --> 00:14:04,660
Did you pick them
from my plot?
433
00:14:04,740 --> 00:14:06,090
I certainly did.
435
00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:08,760
Oh.
436
00:14:08,830 --> 00:14:09,750
It's so nice.
437
00:14:09,830 --> 00:14:12,350
It's so specific.
438
00:14:12,350 --> 00:14:15,240
Rick, why aren't you doing
this kind of thing for me?
439
00:14:15,250 --> 00:14:16,420
Oh, you got me in trouble.
440
00:14:16,410 --> 00:14:17,590
Yeah, Rick, what the hell.
441
00:14:17,670 --> 00:14:18,690
So great.
442
00:14:18,770 --> 00:14:20,360
Um, if you'll excuse me
443
00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:23,200
I'm going to use
the ladies room.
444
00:14:23,270 --> 00:14:23,990
Ok.
445
00:14:25,700 --> 00:14:26,740
Isn't she great?
446
00:14:29,430 --> 00:14:30,520
Oh good,
you're still here.
447
00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:31,450
No, I'm not.
448
00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:32,850
You are, I see you.
449
00:14:32,930 --> 00:14:35,190
And I only have one more
little care package for you.
450
00:14:35,270 --> 00:14:37,450
Ok, if I open that
and it's a dead bird
451
00:14:37,450 --> 00:14:38,210
I'm... I'm gonna be so mad.
452
00:14:38,290 --> 00:14:39,200
Not a dead bird.
453
00:14:39,440 --> 00:14:40,200
It's an invoice
with all the receipts
454
00:14:40,620 --> 00:14:43,380
for little New Zealand lollies,
and the basket,
455
00:14:43,460 --> 00:14:45,720
the mileage from my trip
to Spokane
456
00:14:45,790 --> 00:14:47,550
to the specialty store
for you.
457
00:14:47,630 --> 00:14:49,540
You're seriously charging me
for your crush?
458
00:14:49,610 --> 00:14:50,610
You led me on.
459
00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:52,730
You're like a classic temptress
from Oceania.
460
00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:54,620
Ok. I did not lead you on.
461
00:14:54,620 --> 00:14:57,120
I have shown you nothing
but contempt and distain.
462
00:14:57,120 --> 00:14:58,040
I really don't--
463
00:14:58,290 --> 00:14:59,060
-Playful contempt and distain.
-Playful?
464
00:14:59,140 --> 00:15:00,140
And that is very confusing.
465
00:15:00,460 --> 00:15:03,280
You have 30 days or interest
starts to accrue.
466
00:15:05,890 --> 00:15:06,560
Unless--
467
00:15:06,630 --> 00:15:07,310
-No.
-Ok.
468
00:15:07,390 --> 00:15:08,240
You know what?
469
00:15:08,630 --> 00:15:09,810
I only date women made
in America, anyway.
470
00:15:09,820 --> 00:15:10,660
Oh.
471
00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:13,330
No.
473
00:15:15,900 --> 00:15:16,980
You hear that?
474
00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:18,410
That's the sound of generational
wealth accruing.
476
00:15:22,260 --> 00:15:23,260
Ugh.
477
00:15:23,330 --> 00:15:25,330
The sawdust tastes
like bad mushrooms.
478
00:15:25,410 --> 00:15:26,590
Yeah. What?
479
00:15:26,670 --> 00:15:27,590
Gross.
480
00:15:28,500 --> 00:15:29,330
Oh, that's black mold.
481
00:15:29,500 --> 00:15:30,830
-Black what?
-That's black mold.
482
00:15:30,910 --> 00:15:31,930
That's black mold.
483
00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:33,650
I'm not up on my molds
but is that worse than green?
484
00:15:33,660 --> 00:15:35,270
It might just be
that one little spot.
485
00:15:35,270 --> 00:15:36,270
It's fine, just open it up.
486
00:15:36,340 --> 00:15:37,600
-Open it up?
-Open it up!
487
00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:38,470
Ok.
488
00:15:45,090 --> 00:15:46,520
That seems bad.
489
00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:47,450
It's probably just the--
490
00:15:47,690 --> 00:15:49,430
That's probably
the end of it, right?
491
00:15:49,430 --> 00:15:50,600
Probably.
492
00:15:50,620 --> 00:15:51,690
Unless it goes down.
493
00:15:51,770 --> 00:15:53,000
No chance it goes down,
right?
494
00:15:56,850 --> 00:15:58,520
We gotta get out
of this house!
495
00:15:58,870 --> 00:16:00,190
We gotta get out
of this house!
496
00:16:00,540 --> 00:16:03,470
You don't think the whole
salad thing was weird,
497
00:16:03,540 --> 00:16:06,020
I mean, everybody cheered when
the guy did it on Instagram.
498
00:16:06,020 --> 00:16:08,300
I'm just gonna say it,
I thought it was cute.
499
00:16:08,380 --> 00:16:11,380
So cute, right?
I mean, also very masculine.
500
00:16:11,450 --> 00:16:13,120
I think it might be good
to acknowledge
501
00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:14,210
that from Tiff's perspective
502
00:16:14,220 --> 00:16:16,540
it could have come off
as a bit invasive.
503
00:16:16,530 --> 00:16:19,160
Invasive?
Honey, excuse me, but what?
504
00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:21,140
Well, you know, he just stole
her veggies--
505
00:16:21,150 --> 00:16:25,060
Stole? It's a community garden.
Basically an open field.
506
00:16:25,130 --> 00:16:28,220
And if anything, her reaction
was a little nutty.
507
00:16:28,230 --> 00:16:29,380
I mean, running away
to the bathroom?
508
00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:32,140
I just think you could have used
your own vegetables,
509
00:16:32,220 --> 00:16:33,400
like simplified the gesture.
510
00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:36,570
No. No, no, no.
Mixing is what makes it special.
511
00:16:36,570 --> 00:16:39,720
Two people from different plots
coming together
512
00:16:39,720 --> 00:16:41,000
to form something new.
513
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,560
Yes. Rick gets it.
514
00:16:42,560 --> 00:16:44,320
Ok. Shall we just leave it
at that?
515
00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:46,510
Just say it's a grey area,
even though I'm right.
516
00:16:48,010 --> 00:16:49,080
When do you think
she's coming back?
517
00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:50,150
She's gonna be back
in a second.
518
00:16:50,240 --> 00:16:51,420
She's been gone 10 minutes.
519
00:16:51,420 --> 00:16:52,090
Babe...
520
00:16:52,090 --> 00:16:53,090
What? She has.
521
00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:54,730
Emily, I think you're right.
She ghosted me.
522
00:16:54,740 --> 00:16:56,590
At the very least she's sitting
in a bathroom stall
523
00:16:56,670 --> 00:16:58,100
trying to figure out
how to ghost me.
524
00:16:58,090 --> 00:16:58,850
No, I... I didn't say that.
525
00:16:58,930 --> 00:17:00,170
That's quite a leap, pal.
526
00:17:00,500 --> 00:17:02,180
I mean, we'd see her if she
left, we're right by the door.
527
00:17:02,260 --> 00:17:03,500
The bathroom has a window.
528
00:17:03,580 --> 00:17:04,580
Honey, you're killing him.
529
00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:06,520
You're not texting Tiffany
right now, are you?
530
00:17:06,600 --> 00:17:11,030
I just want to let her know
that it is not ok.
531
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:12,420
You're typing pretty hard
over there, buddy.
532
00:17:12,420 --> 00:17:13,680
Want a second set of eyes
on that?
533
00:17:13,870 --> 00:17:16,490
No, I'm just letting it roll,
don't wanna overthink it.
534
00:17:16,520 --> 00:17:20,570
All caps, exclamation point,
exclamation point, send.
536
00:17:21,950 --> 00:17:23,540
Sorry, one of my clients
called me.
537
00:17:23,620 --> 00:17:25,450
Um... did you text me?
538
00:17:25,530 --> 00:17:26,290
No.
539
00:17:26,360 --> 00:17:29,360
Uh... you know, I just um...
540
00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:31,370
my phone's unlocked and I kinda
move my finger on it
541
00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:33,460
and it just spells words.
542
00:17:33,540 --> 00:17:35,630
My snow peas are as hollow
of flavor
543
00:17:35,700 --> 00:17:37,530
as I am of good character?
544
00:17:37,540 --> 00:17:38,610
Oh, dear.
545
00:17:38,620 --> 00:17:39,540
Yeah.
546
00:17:39,620 --> 00:17:41,440
Yeah, I'm gonna go.
547
00:17:42,790 --> 00:17:45,270
Oh. Uh... ok.
549
00:17:49,740 --> 00:17:53,130
Oh, yeah.
Uh, thumbs down.
550
00:17:53,130 --> 00:17:55,630
Wanna skip to dessert?
I'll order three bourbons.
551
00:17:55,630 --> 00:17:56,650
Do you guys want anything?
553
00:18:01,310 --> 00:18:02,570
What can I do for you,
Templeton?
554
00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:04,250
Nice try, I know you sent
the email.
555
00:18:04,330 --> 00:18:05,570
What email?
556
00:18:05,900 --> 00:18:07,990
Don't play dumb, the one from
the Royal Highlander Quartet
557
00:18:08,150 --> 00:18:09,260
inviting me to audition?
558
00:18:09,330 --> 00:18:10,500
I don't even know what that is.
559
00:18:10,500 --> 00:18:12,000
Come on, you sent me
a fake email
560
00:18:12,070 --> 00:18:14,240
from the preeminent
bagpiper ensemble
561
00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:15,410
in the Pacific Northwest
562
00:18:15,740 --> 00:18:18,070
'cause you know I wanna be taken
seriously as a bagger.
563
00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:19,180
Well, this might surprise you
564
00:18:19,490 --> 00:18:21,010
but I didn't even know
that you play the bagpipes.
565
00:18:21,080 --> 00:18:22,260
Really?
So you don't remember me
566
00:18:22,340 --> 00:18:24,170
in a tartan kilt
at the cougar funeral
567
00:18:24,250 --> 00:18:26,250
playing Tears in Heaven,
or at the wake
568
00:18:26,330 --> 00:18:28,590
when I brought the house down
with Sexual Healing?
569
00:18:28,670 --> 00:18:29,400
Nope.
570
00:18:30,350 --> 00:18:31,090
Huh.
571
00:18:31,930 --> 00:18:33,260
Maybe you didn't send
that email.
572
00:18:33,340 --> 00:18:34,930
No, I didn't send it.
573
00:18:35,010 --> 00:18:36,010
Ok. Thank you.
574
00:18:36,270 --> 00:18:38,200
I'm gonna go now and if you try
and call me back
575
00:18:38,270 --> 00:18:39,290
and it doesn't go through
576
00:18:39,450 --> 00:18:41,490
that's because I blocked you
forever, ok? Bye.
578
00:18:59,530 --> 00:19:01,460
Excuse me?
Can I help you?
579
00:19:01,530 --> 00:19:03,640
I'm here for the Royal
Highlander Quartet audition.
580
00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:06,720
Auditorium's this way, right?
Hydrated, ready to blow pipe.
583
00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:16,890
That's him!
584
00:19:17,220 --> 00:19:19,310
That's the creepy old man
pretending to be a student
585
00:19:19,330 --> 00:19:20,480
-Oh geez.
-...at this school!
586
00:19:20,550 --> 00:19:20,990
No.
587
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,640
He's probably a pervert!
588
00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:24,390
Oh no, no, no.
589
00:19:24,390 --> 00:19:28,730
I'm--
I'm an animal control officer.
590
00:19:28,730 --> 00:19:31,420
That blows pipe.
Uh, bagpipe.
591
00:19:46,260 --> 00:19:46,590
Frank?
592
00:19:46,670 --> 00:19:47,590
Yeah.
593
00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:48,930
What're you doing in
the grooming hammock
594
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:50,020
with the lights off?
595
00:19:50,360 --> 00:19:53,510
Good for my back and the lights
are on a motion sensor.
596
00:19:53,530 --> 00:19:56,850
So, was justice served?
597
00:19:56,920 --> 00:19:58,090
I don't know, you tell me.
598
00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:00,430
That's the creepy old man
pretending to be a student
599
00:20:00,430 --> 00:20:02,740
at this school!
He's probably a pervert!
601
00:20:05,100 --> 00:20:06,020
That's good.
602
00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:11,370
I uh, buried a panini press
behind the building.
603
00:20:11,450 --> 00:20:14,600
It was a short and touching
service so thank you for that.
604
00:20:14,610 --> 00:20:15,610
How was your date?
605
00:20:15,790 --> 00:20:18,050
Crushed it.
This is my celebratory dangle.
607
00:20:19,460 --> 00:20:21,390
It was one of those dates
where the starter salad
608
00:20:21,460 --> 00:20:24,280
turns into a �I never wanna see
you again� salad.
609
00:20:24,280 --> 00:20:26,280
Oh, that's rough.
610
00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:27,050
Yeah.
611
00:20:27,130 --> 00:20:28,300
But I'm in no place to judge.
612
00:20:28,710 --> 00:20:30,800
I actually thought I might have
a super sexy secret admirer
613
00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:33,460
but instead I got Templeton.
614
00:20:33,460 --> 00:20:37,530
Love, like cornhole, is a game
I'll never understand.
616
00:20:41,390 --> 00:20:42,560
What was that?
617
00:20:42,630 --> 00:20:45,480
That's the water delivery guy.
He's so hot.
618
00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:49,140
I needed a palate cleanser.
He still thinks it's my birthday
619
00:20:49,140 --> 00:20:50,900
and I told him to pick me up
after his shift.
620
00:20:50,980 --> 00:20:54,070
Oh, well he brought the delivery
truck so I hope he takes you
621
00:20:54,150 --> 00:20:56,630
to the most romantic
distribution center in town.
622
00:20:58,650 --> 00:20:59,470
Goodnight, Frank.
623
00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:03,470
Can you give me a push?
624
00:21:05,270 --> 00:21:09,270
Hi. I recently made a purchase
I'd like to return.
625
00:21:09,340 --> 00:21:11,770
Well, I know you're a realtor,
that's why I called.
627
00:21:13,350 --> 00:21:14,230
Hello?
628
00:21:15,170 --> 00:21:16,480
It's no use, buddy.
629
00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:18,610
These closing docs
are rock solid.
630
00:21:18,690 --> 00:21:19,520
I'm still in if you are.
631
00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:20,450
Oh, I'm still in.
632
00:21:20,840 --> 00:21:21,690
Because legally neither of us
can walk away.
633
00:21:22,340 --> 00:21:26,620
Yeah, that's what I found
in my due diligence, as well.
634
00:21:26,690 --> 00:21:29,280
So, what's our next move?
635
00:21:33,370 --> 00:21:36,460
I'll do it, but now it's double
the price.
636
00:21:36,540 --> 00:21:37,670
When can you start?
42274
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