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Neighbors?
4
00:00:35,535 --> 00:00:37,953
I have an announcement for you.
5
00:00:37,954 --> 00:00:40,289
I have never seen
such a collection
6
00:00:40,290 --> 00:00:43,083
of dirty windows.
7
00:00:43,084 --> 00:00:46,045
Now, I wanna see all of you
out there on the fire escapes
8
00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:50,716
with your Mr. Clean bottles,
and let's snap it up!
9
00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:53,177
Murray, do you have to shout
like that every morning?
10
00:00:53,178 --> 00:00:55,387
- Clears my head.
- Say, Murray,
11
00:00:55,388 --> 00:00:57,639
were you planning maybe today
to look for a job?
12
00:00:57,640 --> 00:01:00,017
- To what?
- Look for a job, Murray.
13
00:01:00,018 --> 00:01:03,145
Shh, Murray.
14
00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:05,397
Murray, what'd you
get me down here for?
15
00:01:05,398 --> 00:01:07,816
-I mean, I--I just--
-Nick, what time is it?
16
00:01:07,817 --> 00:01:09,943
Well, it's about 7:20,
but, Murray, now I have to--
17
00:01:09,944 --> 00:01:12,154
Shh!
18
00:01:12,155 --> 00:01:13,697
Shh.
19
00:01:13,698 --> 00:01:15,324
Nick, in a moment,
you're going to see
20
00:01:15,325 --> 00:01:17,659
a horrible thing.
21
00:01:17,660 --> 00:01:19,620
What's that?
22
00:01:21,372 --> 00:01:23,332
People going to work.
23
00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:12,793
Gee, Murray, I hope it's not
gonna be a long visit
24
00:04:12,794 --> 00:04:14,002
with the junkman today,
I have something
25
00:04:14,003 --> 00:04:15,545
I have to discuss with you.
26
00:04:15,546 --> 00:04:18,465
Junkman?
Peruccio here is a dealer
27
00:04:18,466 --> 00:04:20,592
in obsolete structures.
28
00:04:20,593 --> 00:04:23,428
Uhh, you still
getting a buck for this?
29
00:04:23,429 --> 00:04:24,721
Half a buck.
30
00:04:24,722 --> 00:04:26,348
Peruccio...
31
00:04:26,349 --> 00:04:29,434
- Two bits?
- Deal.
32
00:04:29,435 --> 00:04:32,229
Oh, Murray, not another eagle.
33
00:04:32,230 --> 00:04:34,022
Nick.
34
00:04:34,023 --> 00:04:36,358
You can't have too many eagles.
35
00:04:37,902 --> 00:04:39,945
Hey, wait a minute.
36
00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:42,823
Why did you follow me down here,
why aren't you in school today?
37
00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:44,533
Well, it's a holiday.
38
00:04:44,534 --> 00:04:47,327
Yeah, it's Irving R. Feldman's
birthday, like you said.
39
00:04:47,328 --> 00:04:49,746
No, Irving R. Feldman's birthday
40
00:04:49,747 --> 00:04:52,374
is my own personal
national holiday.
41
00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:54,251
I did not open it up
for the public.
42
00:04:54,252 --> 00:04:56,169
He is proprietor of perhaps
the most distinguished
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00:04:56,170 --> 00:04:58,130
kosher delicatessen
in our neighborhood,
44
00:04:58,131 --> 00:05:01,300
and, as such, I hold the day
of his birth in reverence.
45
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:03,135
Well, you said you weren't
gonna look for work today,
46
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:06,013
'cause it was
Irving R. Feldman's birthday,
47
00:05:06,014 --> 00:05:08,765
so, I figured
I'd celebrate too a little.
48
00:05:08,766 --> 00:05:11,560
Ah, don't kid me, Nick.
49
00:05:11,561 --> 00:05:14,146
I thought you liked
that damn genius school.
50
00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:15,981
Oh, I figured I'd better
stick with you today,
51
00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:17,691
something I gotta discuss.
52
00:05:17,692 --> 00:05:20,152
See, uhh...
53
00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:22,195
because it's this
special school for big brains,
54
00:05:22,196 --> 00:05:25,866
they watch you and take notes
and make reports,
55
00:05:25,867 --> 00:05:29,578
and they smile
at you a lot--Murray?
56
00:05:29,579 --> 00:05:32,789
Murray,
they're very nervous there.
57
00:05:32,790 --> 00:05:35,917
And there was this composition
I wrote in creative writing
58
00:05:35,918 --> 00:05:38,795
about the advantages
of unemployment insurance.
59
00:05:38,796 --> 00:05:40,505
Why did you write about that?
60
00:05:40,506 --> 00:05:42,174
It's on my mind.
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00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:44,509
And once they got my record out,
they started to notice
62
00:05:44,510 --> 00:05:47,262
what they call
"significant data."
63
00:05:47,263 --> 00:05:50,932
Turns out they've been keeping
this file on me for a long time.
64
00:05:50,933 --> 00:05:53,393
Checking with that
Child welfare place,
65
00:05:53,394 --> 00:05:55,437
same place you got
those letters from.
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00:05:55,438 --> 00:05:58,440
I never answer letters
from large organizations.
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00:05:58,441 --> 00:05:59,858
Well, anyway,
when they come over there,
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00:05:59,859 --> 00:06:01,401
I just thought we could--
69
00:06:01,402 --> 00:06:04,237
Wait a minute,
when who comes over where?
70
00:06:04,238 --> 00:06:06,698
Our apartment.
71
00:06:06,699 --> 00:06:08,658
This Child Welfare crowd,
they wanna take a look
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00:06:08,659 --> 00:06:10,202
at our environment there.
73
00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:12,662
Nick, why didn't you tell me
about this before?
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00:06:12,663 --> 00:06:13,789
Well, you know,
the past couple of nights
75
00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:15,540
we couldn't get together.
76
00:06:15,541 --> 00:06:18,418
That was unavoidable, you know
when I have a lot of work,
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00:06:18,419 --> 00:06:20,962
you stay up at Mrs. Meyer's.
78
00:06:20,963 --> 00:06:23,548
Murray, your work forgot
her gloves last night.
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00:06:26,177 --> 00:06:28,011
Well, anyway,
for these Child Welfare guys,
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00:06:28,012 --> 00:06:30,514
I figure we better set up some
kind of a story this morning
81
00:06:30,515 --> 00:06:32,557
- before they get there.
- You know, you make it sound
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00:06:32,558 --> 00:06:34,768
like a vice raid.
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00:06:34,769 --> 00:06:36,186
Well, I mean, for one thing,
Murray, you don't even
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00:06:36,187 --> 00:06:38,355
- have a job right now.
- Hey.
85
00:06:38,356 --> 00:06:41,066
Have you ever been to the top
of the Empire State Building?
86
00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:42,901
Four times with you
in November.
87
00:06:42,902 --> 00:06:44,778
Oh, really?
88
00:06:44,779 --> 00:06:46,780
Have you ever been
to the Statue of Liberty?
89
00:06:46,781 --> 00:06:49,616
-No, Murray, I--
-Today is Irving R. Feldman's
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00:06:49,617 --> 00:06:53,120
birthday, we shall go to the top
of the Statue of Liberty,
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00:06:53,121 --> 00:06:55,330
and watch
the Queen Elizabeth come in
92
00:06:55,331 --> 00:06:58,333
full of all those tired,
poor, huddled masses
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00:06:58,334 --> 00:07:00,127
yearning to breathe free.
94
00:07:00,128 --> 00:07:01,962
Murray, will you listen to me,
we have to--
95
00:07:17,812 --> 00:07:20,564
Murray, couldn't I just read
you from The Times again,
96
00:07:20,565 --> 00:07:23,483
like last week, hm?
97
00:07:23,484 --> 00:07:26,695
Oh, okay,
read me from the paper.
98
00:07:32,368 --> 00:07:34,619
Hey, Murray,
this paper is three days old.
99
00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:36,121
So, what do you
want me to do, bury it?
100
00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:37,247
Is it starting to rot
or something--come on,
101
00:07:37,248 --> 00:07:39,040
read me from the paper.
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00:07:39,041 --> 00:07:41,793
Yeah, but most of these jobs,
somebody must've taken 'em.
103
00:07:41,794 --> 00:07:44,463
- I'll go get a newer paper.
- No, we do not need
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00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:48,550
a newer paper--all the really
important jobs stay forever.
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00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:51,887
Now, start on the first page
of help wanted, male,
106
00:07:51,888 --> 00:07:53,305
and read me from the paper.
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00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:55,140
Okay.
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00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:57,726
"Exec assist, ex oppty,
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00:07:57,727 --> 00:08:00,437
$90 to top sell."
110
00:08:00,438 --> 00:08:01,938
What's that?
111
00:08:01,939 --> 00:08:04,733
"Executive assistant,
excellent opportunity."
112
00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:07,068
Nothing. Keep reading.
113
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:11,072
Hey, here's a perfect one.
114
00:08:11,073 --> 00:08:12,908
It says, "Writer wanted.
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00:08:12,909 --> 00:08:16,119
Writer-editor,
industrial periodicals,
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00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:17,871
to write handbooks,
reports, and promotion
117
00:08:17,872 --> 00:08:19,664
on electronic equipment."
118
00:08:19,665 --> 00:08:22,918
What you got there, kid,
the want ads or the obituaries?
119
00:08:22,919 --> 00:08:25,045
Ha-ha, okay, kid,
120
00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:26,963
read me some more want ads.
121
00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:14,469
You know, Murray, you don't
want a job is the whole thing.
122
00:09:14,470 --> 00:09:16,179
Would you just concentrate
on being a child,
123
00:09:16,180 --> 00:09:18,014
because I find your
imitation of an adult
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00:09:18,015 --> 00:09:19,432
hopelessly inadequate.
125
00:09:19,433 --> 00:09:21,268
Well, you wanna be
your own boss, Murray,
126
00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:23,728
but the trouble with that is
you don't pay yourself anything.
127
00:09:26,023 --> 00:09:27,774
You're not
paying yourself anything--
128
00:09:27,775 --> 00:09:29,943
hey, that's a good line,
I gotta remember that.
129
00:09:29,944 --> 00:09:31,278
You ever consider
being the first
130
00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:33,113
12-year-old boy in space?
131
00:09:34,615 --> 00:09:37,117
Murray, I am upset.
132
00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:40,036
Now, for me as an actual child,
the way you live in this house
133
00:09:40,037 --> 00:09:43,290
and we live is a dangerous thing
for my later life
134
00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:45,584
when I become an actual person.
135
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:48,628
Now, an unemployed person
like you are for so many months
136
00:09:48,629 --> 00:09:50,964
is bad for you
as the person involved,
137
00:09:50,965 --> 00:09:52,841
and it's definitely bad for me,
138
00:09:52,842 --> 00:09:54,426
who he lives with
in the same house
139
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:57,887
where the rent isn't paid up
for months sometimes,
140
00:09:57,888 --> 00:10:00,890
and I wish
you'd get a job, Murray.
141
00:10:05,521 --> 00:10:07,480
Please.
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00:10:12,695 --> 00:10:14,863
You're absolutely right.
143
00:10:27,126 --> 00:10:29,169
What's wrong, Murray?
144
00:10:30,796 --> 00:10:32,839
I don't know, Nick.
145
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:36,468
Murray, are you all right?
146
00:10:42,266 --> 00:10:43,850
Hey!
147
00:10:43,851 --> 00:10:46,728
I enjoyed
the Statue of Liberty a lot.
148
00:10:46,729 --> 00:10:49,397
Yeah, it was great,
I'm glad we went.
149
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:54,444
Hey, it is a great view,
isn't it?
150
00:10:54,445 --> 00:10:57,155
Yeah.
151
00:10:57,156 --> 00:11:00,283
Otto, Otto.
152
00:11:00,284 --> 00:11:02,202
We have reached at last
the mainland,
153
00:11:02,203 --> 00:11:06,373
and we must now get
the rocket plans from agent X22.
154
00:11:06,374 --> 00:11:09,959
Shh, but, you fool,
he is being observed.
155
00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:12,504
It is essential
we are not observed.
156
00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:15,590
Hey, if you're really
secret spy X12--
157
00:11:15,591 --> 00:11:17,592
- I wouldn't tell you.
- And why not?
158
00:11:17,593 --> 00:11:20,887
Because it's a secret, you fool.
159
00:11:39,407 --> 00:11:41,866
Hey, spy, listen,
I'll tell you something.
160
00:11:41,867 --> 00:11:43,827
You know those poison capsules
they give us to take
161
00:11:43,828 --> 00:11:46,287
- when we get captured?
- Yeah.
162
00:11:46,288 --> 00:11:48,456
Well, they got a new way
of giving them to us now, Otto.
163
00:11:48,457 --> 00:11:49,666
- What's that?
- They're putting 'em
164
00:11:49,667 --> 00:11:50,709
in the Cracker Jacks.
165
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:53,044
That's--that's crazy,
166
00:11:53,045 --> 00:11:54,713
that's a silly thing,
what you said.
167
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:58,133
How silly, how silly
how such a silly thing.
168
00:11:58,134 --> 00:12:00,802
They are putting them in the--
169
00:12:00,803 --> 00:12:04,514
What is that?
170
00:12:04,515 --> 00:12:06,391
It's ridiculous.
171
00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:08,893
Let them put the prize
in the package!
172
00:12:08,894 --> 00:12:11,062
But this is...
173
00:12:12,898 --> 00:12:15,316
Excuse me, are you Mr. Burns?
174
00:12:15,317 --> 00:12:16,776
Only for
a couple more seconds, buddy,
175
00:12:16,777 --> 00:12:18,486
They poisoned my Cracker Jacks.
176
00:12:19,989 --> 00:12:21,698
Yes, I see.
177
00:12:21,699 --> 00:12:25,118
You are Murray N. Burns?
178
00:12:25,119 --> 00:12:27,495
Oh, excuse me, how are ya?
179
00:12:27,496 --> 00:12:28,705
- How do you do, Mr. Burns?
- Mm.
180
00:12:28,706 --> 00:12:30,790
I am Mr. Amundson,
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00:12:30,791 --> 00:12:32,625
and this is Miss Markowitz.
182
00:12:32,626 --> 00:12:36,087
Miss Markowitz and I
are a Social Service unit
183
00:12:36,088 --> 00:12:38,965
from the Child Welfare Board.
184
00:12:38,966 --> 00:12:41,426
We have been asked
by the bureau to--
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00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:43,595
Oh, and this must be
young Nicholas.
186
00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:46,306
- Hello.
- Mr. Burns, we--
187
00:12:46,307 --> 00:12:49,267
Miss Markowitz and I
have been asked by the BCW
188
00:12:49,268 --> 00:12:52,020
to investigate and examine
certain pupils
189
00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:53,688
of the Revere School.
190
00:12:53,689 --> 00:12:56,733
There is a--may we
191
00:12:56,734 --> 00:12:59,861
- see you for a moment?
- Oh, certainly.
192
00:13:09,830 --> 00:13:12,957
There is certain information,
which the school and the city
193
00:13:12,958 --> 00:13:15,335
would like to have of--
194
00:13:15,336 --> 00:13:17,462
- regarding young Nicholas.
- Uh, here, won't you sit down?
195
00:13:17,463 --> 00:13:19,839
I'll just get rid
of these things.
196
00:13:22,051 --> 00:13:24,260
I--I'd like to explain
197
00:13:24,261 --> 00:13:25,762
just why we're here, Mr. Burns.
198
00:13:25,763 --> 00:13:28,097
Well, say, would anybody
like some coffee?
199
00:13:28,098 --> 00:13:30,600
Oh, well, thank you, Nicholas--
Miss Markowitz?
200
00:13:30,601 --> 00:13:32,685
Yes, thank you.
201
00:13:35,064 --> 00:13:36,773
Watch it.
202
00:13:40,736 --> 00:13:42,987
It might be best, Mr. Burns,
203
00:13:42,988 --> 00:13:46,783
for the child, if perhaps
you were to send him downstairs
204
00:13:46,784 --> 00:13:49,160
to play or something
while we have our discussion.
205
00:13:49,161 --> 00:13:51,663
Yes, it would be
more advisable, Mr. Burns,
206
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:53,623
if the child were not present,
207
00:13:53,624 --> 00:13:55,291
since Miss Markowitz,
who will be discussing
208
00:13:55,292 --> 00:13:57,377
the psychological area--
209
00:13:57,378 --> 00:13:59,420
that is, we will be
discussing certain matters--
210
00:13:59,421 --> 00:14:01,089
You gonna talk dirty?
211
00:14:03,300 --> 00:14:06,094
I appreciate the,
uh, informality
212
00:14:06,136 --> 00:14:08,721
with which you approach
this meeting, Mr. Burns.
213
00:14:08,722 --> 00:14:10,807
However, due to the fact
that you have chosen
214
00:14:10,808 --> 00:14:12,976
not to answer our letters
215
00:14:12,977 --> 00:14:14,602
and several of our phone calls--
216
00:14:14,603 --> 00:14:18,606
Miss Markowitz,
may I know your first name?
217
00:14:18,607 --> 00:14:20,817
It's Sandra.
218
00:14:20,818 --> 00:14:24,612
And you are the psychologist
part of the team, Sandy?
219
00:14:24,613 --> 00:14:27,031
That's right, Mr. Burns.
220
00:14:27,032 --> 00:14:29,742
And you, sir, I take it,
are the brawn of the outfit?
221
00:14:31,829 --> 00:14:34,372
Perhaps I--I should explain,
Mr. Burns,
222
00:14:34,373 --> 00:14:36,457
that the Social Service teams
223
00:14:36,458 --> 00:14:38,501
which serve the Revere School
224
00:14:38,502 --> 00:14:40,378
are a carefully planned balance
225
00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:43,631
of a social caseworker,
as such as myself, and--
226
00:14:43,632 --> 00:14:45,258
- Oh, thank you, Nicholas.
- Miss Markowitz.
227
00:14:45,259 --> 00:14:47,427
And a psychological
social worker,
228
00:14:47,428 --> 00:14:49,304
such as Miss Markowitz.
229
00:14:49,305 --> 00:14:51,973
Or, actually, Dr. Markowitz.
230
00:14:51,974 --> 00:14:53,600
Together, we form a rather--
231
00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:56,227
Say, is the coffee any good?
232
00:14:56,228 --> 00:14:58,479
Oh yes, very good,
thank you, Nicholas.
233
00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:00,648
Mm, very nice, Nicholas--
234
00:15:00,649 --> 00:15:02,859
Nicholas,
are you drinking coffee?
235
00:15:02,860 --> 00:15:04,360
Don't you think
it would be better--
236
00:15:04,361 --> 00:15:08,698
No, it's milk,
I like drinking from a cup.
237
00:15:08,699 --> 00:15:12,619
Now, aren't you
ashamed of yourself?
238
00:15:12,620 --> 00:15:16,122
Mr. Burns,
Mr. Amundson and I have
239
00:15:16,123 --> 00:15:19,584
several cases to examine today,
and we would appreciate
240
00:15:19,585 --> 00:15:22,086
a certain amount of cooperation.
241
00:15:22,087 --> 00:15:24,047
East Bronx, Mosholu Parkway.
242
00:15:24,048 --> 00:15:26,090
And a couple of years
in maybe Massachusetts.
243
00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:27,800
No!
244
00:15:27,801 --> 00:15:30,470
Oh oh, excuse me,
Nick and I are merely testing
245
00:15:30,471 --> 00:15:33,139
our sense of voice and accent.
246
00:15:33,140 --> 00:15:36,017
Nick insists he is
better at this than I am.
247
00:15:36,018 --> 00:15:39,729
Actually, I took my
graduate work with a professor,
248
00:15:39,730 --> 00:15:41,981
a man with a very strong
New England accent,
249
00:15:41,982 --> 00:15:44,567
who could very well have
influenced my speech.
250
00:15:44,568 --> 00:15:46,319
Nick is quite right.
251
00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:48,446
Wow, thank you, lady!
252
00:15:48,447 --> 00:15:51,866
You certainly have a fine ear
for sound, Nick.
253
00:15:51,867 --> 00:15:53,326
Do you and your uncle
play many of these
254
00:15:53,327 --> 00:15:55,328
sorts of games together?
255
00:15:55,329 --> 00:15:57,038
Well, yes,
we play many wholesome
256
00:15:57,039 --> 00:16:00,083
and constructive type
games together.
257
00:16:00,084 --> 00:16:03,211
Phew, you're a big phony, Nick.
258
00:16:03,212 --> 00:16:06,673
This lady is here for the facts.
259
00:16:06,674 --> 00:16:08,257
Quite so, Mr. Burns.
260
00:16:08,258 --> 00:16:12,136
We wish also to investigate
those intangibles.
261
00:16:12,137 --> 00:16:15,056
-Those--
-Jersey City.
262
00:16:15,057 --> 00:16:17,016
Maybe Newark,
a little bit of Chicago.
263
00:16:17,017 --> 00:16:19,060
Ah-ha, I think you hit it, Nick!
264
00:16:19,061 --> 00:16:21,896
Well, that's really
quite remarkable!
265
00:16:21,897 --> 00:16:25,191
Albert--Mr. Amundson is
from New Jersey, he went to
266
00:16:25,192 --> 00:16:27,068
-the University of Chicago--
-Uh, Sandra, this is really
267
00:16:27,069 --> 00:16:29,070
- quite beside the point.
- Well, Albert, I think
268
00:16:29,071 --> 00:16:31,698
it's really quite remarkable,
the boy--
269
00:16:31,699 --> 00:16:34,325
Suppose I just
plunge right in here,
270
00:16:34,326 --> 00:16:37,370
with several
of the facts required--
271
00:16:37,371 --> 00:16:39,372
Well, Donny Duhamel
hooked these in the game
272
00:16:39,373 --> 00:16:42,041
but they're not really ripe, so
I figured that the cantaloupe--
273
00:16:42,042 --> 00:16:44,210
I'm sorry, I didn't
know you had company.
274
00:16:44,211 --> 00:16:46,796
- See ya, Nick.
- See ya, Uncle Arnie.
275
00:16:49,717 --> 00:16:51,551
There somebody else
living here with you?
276
00:16:51,552 --> 00:16:53,386
No, that's just
my brother, Arnold.
277
00:16:53,387 --> 00:16:55,638
He brings fruit every morning
on his way to the office,
278
00:16:55,639 --> 00:16:57,265
he's a fruit nut.
279
00:16:57,266 --> 00:17:00,059
Oh yes, I see in our files
that your brother
280
00:17:00,060 --> 00:17:02,395
acts as your agent.
281
00:17:02,396 --> 00:17:04,731
Our research team
spoke to him, I believe.
282
00:17:04,732 --> 00:17:08,526
Say, you really do
a lot of that stuff?
283
00:17:08,527 --> 00:17:10,820
Calling people,
going into my personal life?
284
00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:12,989
You've refused
for quite some time, Mr. Burns,
285
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:16,451
to answer any
of our regular inquiries.
286
00:17:16,452 --> 00:17:18,411
We understand that
you have been unemployed
287
00:17:18,412 --> 00:17:20,705
at this point
for nearly five months.
288
00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:23,624
Well, he has an excellent oppty
to be an exec assist.
289
00:17:23,625 --> 00:17:26,210
And that, previous to this,
290
00:17:26,211 --> 00:17:29,255
you were the chief writer for
the Chuckles the Chipmunk Show.
291
00:17:29,256 --> 00:17:31,632
Right, Albert,
for three years I wrote scripts
292
00:17:31,633 --> 00:17:34,594
for Leo Herman, better known
as Chuckles the Chipmunk,
293
00:17:34,636 --> 00:17:36,304
friend of the young 'uns
and seller of Chuckle Chips
294
00:17:36,305 --> 00:17:38,681
the potato of chips
your buddy Chuckles the Chipmunk
295
00:17:38,682 --> 00:17:41,350
chomps on and chuckles over.
296
00:17:41,351 --> 00:17:43,186
Would you care
to describe the circumstances
297
00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:45,229
under which
you left the employ of the--
298
00:17:45,230 --> 00:17:47,440
I quit.
299
00:17:47,441 --> 00:17:49,317
You felt that this was not
the work for you?
300
00:17:49,318 --> 00:17:52,528
No, why, I felt that I wasn't
reaching all the boys and girls
301
00:17:52,529 --> 00:17:55,198
out there in television land.
302
00:17:55,199 --> 00:17:57,116
Actually, it was not
so much I wasn't reaching
303
00:17:57,117 --> 00:17:59,243
the boys and girls,
but the boys and girls
304
00:17:59,244 --> 00:18:01,412
were starting to reach me.
305
00:18:01,413 --> 00:18:04,290
Six months ago,
a perfectly adult bartender
306
00:18:04,291 --> 00:18:06,709
asked me if I'd like
an onion in my martini,
307
00:18:06,710 --> 00:18:09,879
and I said,
"Gosh and gollies, you betcha!"
308
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:12,548
Well, I knew
it was time to quit.
309
00:18:12,549 --> 00:18:15,093
Well, may I ask
if this is a pattern?
310
00:18:15,135 --> 00:18:17,011
That is, in the past,
has there been much
311
00:18:17,012 --> 00:18:18,888
shifting of position?
312
00:18:18,889 --> 00:18:22,266
No, I always take an onion
in my martini.
313
00:18:22,267 --> 00:18:25,269
-This is a constant--
-Mr. Burns.
314
00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:27,063
Perhaps you're not aware
315
00:18:27,064 --> 00:18:30,358
of just how serious
your situation is.
316
00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:33,528
The circumstances
of the child's environment.
317
00:18:33,529 --> 00:18:35,988
- The danger of...
- Our investigation,
318
00:18:35,989 --> 00:18:38,866
- Mr. Burns, is the result...
- ...substantial development--
319
00:18:38,867 --> 00:18:40,868
-and--
-...of what the bureau considers
320
00:18:40,869 --> 00:18:43,913
to be almost an emergency case.
321
00:18:47,042 --> 00:18:49,919
Yeah, but he just
likes to kid around, lady.
322
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:51,879
Really, we've got
a great environment here.
323
00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:54,757
Oh, relax, kid.
324
00:18:54,758 --> 00:18:58,052
Look, people, I am sorry,
325
00:18:58,095 --> 00:18:59,720
let's get on with the questions.
326
00:18:59,721 --> 00:19:02,723
Nick, suppose that you and I
327
00:19:02,724 --> 00:19:05,810
have a little chat right here.
328
00:19:05,811 --> 00:19:08,604
Oh fine, I was gonna
suggest that myself.
329
00:19:12,776 --> 00:19:15,069
Well, I'm sure there are times
330
00:19:15,070 --> 00:19:16,988
when the fun stops,
331
00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:19,157
and you have nice talks,
332
00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:21,284
and your uncle
teaches you things.
333
00:19:21,285 --> 00:19:23,452
Oh, I can do a great
Peter Lorre imitation.
334
00:19:23,453 --> 00:19:25,329
- Murray taught me.
- Uh, Nicky,
335
00:19:25,330 --> 00:19:28,124
- what Miss Markowitz means...
- You can't hang me.
336
00:19:28,125 --> 00:19:31,794
-...is that you and your uncle--
-I didn't do it, I tell you.
337
00:19:31,795 --> 00:19:33,671
- No, Nicky.
- That's not my knife!
338
00:19:33,672 --> 00:19:35,882
-That's not what we meant--
-It was all a mistake!
339
00:19:35,883 --> 00:19:37,884
- Nick.
- I'm innocent!
340
00:19:37,885 --> 00:19:40,094
-I'm innocent! I--
-Nicholas!
341
00:19:40,137 --> 00:19:43,306
That happens to be
a very good imitation.
342
00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:45,308
Well, perhaps,
but we're trying to establish--
343
00:19:45,309 --> 00:19:47,643
- Can you imitate Peter Lorre?
- Well, that's pointless, I--
344
00:19:47,644 --> 00:19:49,645
I can also do a pretty good
James Cagney,
345
00:19:49,646 --> 00:19:52,023
I mean, it's not fantastic
like my Peter Lorre,
346
00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:53,566
-but it's pretty good--
-Now, Nicholas, please.
347
00:19:53,567 --> 00:19:56,068
Try and pay attention.
348
00:19:56,069 --> 00:19:59,030
- Now, if I may proceed.
- Albert.
349
00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:02,074
If you'll just
let me handle this area.
350
00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:12,084
All right, Nick,
let's talk about games, okay?
351
00:20:12,085 --> 00:20:13,294
Okay.
352
00:20:13,295 --> 00:20:14,837
Now,
353
00:20:14,838 --> 00:20:17,506
do you have any
favorite games or toys
354
00:20:17,507 --> 00:20:21,177
that you'd like to show me,
some plaything that's
355
00:20:21,178 --> 00:20:23,888
just the most
favorite one of all?
356
00:20:25,849 --> 00:20:28,059
- Well, there's Bubbles.
- I don't think you'd be
357
00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:30,102
interested in seeing Bubbles.
358
00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:37,777
See, Bubbles is what you'd call
an electric statue.
359
00:20:43,700 --> 00:20:45,743
It's got an electric
battery timer in there
360
00:20:45,744 --> 00:20:48,204
that makes it go
on and off like that.
361
00:20:49,873 --> 00:20:52,500
Is this your favorite toy, Nick?
362
00:20:52,501 --> 00:20:54,627
Well, after a while,
it gets pretty boring.
363
00:20:54,628 --> 00:20:56,504
Tell me, Nick,
do you like best the fact
364
00:20:56,505 --> 00:20:59,674
that the chest
of the lady lights up?
365
00:20:59,675 --> 00:21:02,343
Well, you gotta admit, you don't
see boobies like that every day.
366
00:21:02,344 --> 00:21:04,971
Anybody want any toast
or orange juice
367
00:21:04,972 --> 00:21:06,847
or anything?
368
00:21:09,476 --> 00:21:10,643
Say, would you wanna
see the effect
369
00:21:10,644 --> 00:21:11,936
when the lights are out?
370
00:21:11,937 --> 00:21:14,063
- Or when the room is dark.
- Nick.
371
00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:19,652
Tell me, Nick, is that
what you like best about it,
372
00:21:19,653 --> 00:21:23,447
the fact that you can be alone
in the dark with it?
373
00:21:23,448 --> 00:21:24,448
Well, I don't know,
but in the dark,
374
00:21:24,449 --> 00:21:26,075
they really knock your eye out..
375
00:21:26,076 --> 00:21:29,662
Perhaps don't you think
we ought to turn off that...
376
00:21:31,206 --> 00:21:33,374
Nick, does Bubbles,
377
00:21:33,375 --> 00:21:36,836
does she in any way,
does her face remind you at all
378
00:21:36,837 --> 00:21:39,380
of, oh, let me see,
your mother, for--
379
00:21:39,381 --> 00:21:41,841
for example?
380
00:21:41,842 --> 00:21:44,802
No, it's just a doll, it's not
a statue of anybody I know,
381
00:21:44,845 --> 00:21:47,805
I got it in a store downtown.
382
00:21:47,806 --> 00:21:50,224
Her chest, is that something--
383
00:21:50,225 --> 00:21:53,644
Well, it's something
all right, isn't it?
384
00:21:53,645 --> 00:21:55,479
When you think about
your mother--
385
00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:57,273
well, I don't
think about her too much.
386
00:21:57,274 --> 00:21:59,108
But, when you do
think about her,
387
00:21:59,109 --> 00:22:01,902
do you remember her face best,
or her hands, or--
388
00:22:01,903 --> 00:22:05,281
Oh, oh, I remember,
she has a terrific laugh.
389
00:22:05,324 --> 00:22:07,158
See, it's the kinda laugh
that when she laughs,
390
00:22:07,159 --> 00:22:09,660
it makes you laugh too.
391
00:22:11,496 --> 00:22:13,289
'Course,
she overdoes that a lot.
392
00:22:13,290 --> 00:22:15,750
Well, I mean, physically,
when you think of her,
393
00:22:15,751 --> 00:22:18,669
do you, uh, well,
when you see Bubbles there,
394
00:22:18,670 --> 00:22:21,464
and Bubbles goes
on and off like that--
395
00:22:21,465 --> 00:22:24,175
Sandra, his mother's chest
did not light up.
396
00:22:26,428 --> 00:22:29,013
Mark that down
in the file, Albert.
397
00:22:29,014 --> 00:22:33,059
Nicky, I wonder
if you'd turn those off.
398
00:22:33,060 --> 00:22:34,894
- I mean, her off.
- Uh, see, mainly,
399
00:22:34,895 --> 00:22:37,438
I like to read books
that are healthy, constructive,
400
00:22:37,439 --> 00:22:39,940
and extremely educational
for a person--
401
00:22:39,941 --> 00:22:42,651
Uh, don't push it, Nick.
402
00:22:42,652 --> 00:22:45,279
He has no
unusual fixations, Sandy.
403
00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:48,157
I mean, he's no more abnormally
interested in your bust
404
00:22:48,158 --> 00:22:50,993
than Mr. Amundson is.
405
00:22:50,994 --> 00:22:53,329
Mr. Burns, it is not necessary
to make that comment.
406
00:22:53,330 --> 00:22:56,457
Of course,
I might be wrong about that.
407
00:22:56,458 --> 00:22:59,668
-Our interest in that doll is--
-Say, you really are interested
408
00:22:59,669 --> 00:23:01,545
in that doll, Albert.
409
00:23:01,546 --> 00:23:03,839
-Our--our interest in the doll--
-Oh well, I'd sell it to ya
410
00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:05,800
for two dollars,
that's 50 cents less
411
00:23:05,801 --> 00:23:09,011
than I paid for it.
412
00:23:09,012 --> 00:23:12,973
Sandra, I fail to see
what's so amusing.
413
00:23:12,974 --> 00:23:14,934
I'm sorry, Albert.
414
00:23:14,935 --> 00:23:17,478
Well, it was just funny.
415
00:23:17,479 --> 00:23:20,147
Suppose I pursue, then,
the psychological part
416
00:23:20,148 --> 00:23:22,233
- of this examination.
- Really, Albert, I really do
417
00:23:22,234 --> 00:23:24,151
feel that it would be better
if I were to do it.
418
00:23:24,152 --> 00:23:25,820
Hey look, Albert,
the lady was just laughing
419
00:23:25,821 --> 00:23:27,530
because something funny
happened.
420
00:23:27,531 --> 00:23:29,115
That's the best thing to do
under the circumstances.
421
00:23:29,116 --> 00:23:30,908
-Mr. Burns--
-Say!
422
00:23:30,909 --> 00:23:33,828
How would you all like to go
to the Statue of Liberty?
423
00:23:33,829 --> 00:23:36,330
Now, I have it on good authority
from the weather lady
424
00:23:36,331 --> 00:23:39,417
that today is a beautiful day.
425
00:23:39,418 --> 00:23:41,961
Mr. Burns, now this interview
has reached a point--
426
00:23:41,962 --> 00:23:44,713
I'm gonna get
my educational books now.
427
00:23:44,714 --> 00:23:46,799
- I left them out on the street.
- Mr. Burns.
428
00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:48,342
This interview
has reached a point--
429
00:23:48,343 --> 00:23:50,219
-Mr. Burns--
-Now, dammit, Sandra,
430
00:23:50,220 --> 00:23:51,887
don't interrupt me.
431
00:23:51,888 --> 00:23:54,056
For goodness' sakes, Albert.
432
00:23:54,057 --> 00:23:57,852
Sandra, perhaps we, uh...
433
00:23:57,853 --> 00:23:59,270
Would you excuse us
for a moment, Mr. Burns?
434
00:23:59,271 --> 00:24:00,980
I'd like to have
a short conference with Sandra.
435
00:24:00,981 --> 00:24:03,357
- Yep.
- Um, er...
436
00:24:03,358 --> 00:24:06,402
Dr. Markowitz,
for a moment, please.
437
00:24:09,865 --> 00:24:13,200
Dear, what are you doing,
have we lost all control?
438
00:24:13,201 --> 00:24:15,911
Are you seriously talking to me
about control, Albert?
439
00:24:15,912 --> 00:24:18,372
Now, dear, I told you--
440
00:24:20,792 --> 00:24:23,878
I told you
and I told Dr. Malgaut
441
00:24:23,879 --> 00:24:27,548
it is much too soon for you
to be going out on cases.
442
00:24:27,549 --> 00:24:29,467
You need another year
in the office,
443
00:24:29,468 --> 00:24:31,302
behind the lines,
I told you both
444
00:24:31,303 --> 00:24:34,013
- you simply are not ready.
- Albert, you hardly
445
00:24:34,014 --> 00:24:37,266
let me get started--
see, I was attempting
446
00:24:37,267 --> 00:24:39,768
to deal on the basis
of the whole child--
447
00:24:39,769 --> 00:24:41,437
Three months out of grad school,
and you wanna go
448
00:24:41,438 --> 00:24:43,105
right into front lines.
449
00:24:43,106 --> 00:24:45,608
- Really?
- You get too involved, Sandra.
450
00:24:45,609 --> 00:24:49,236
Each case, you get much too
emotionally involved.
451
00:24:49,237 --> 00:24:51,530
Now, we are scientists here.
452
00:24:51,531 --> 00:24:52,865
You seem to lose sight
of that fact.
453
00:24:52,866 --> 00:24:55,201
Albert, this is no way to deal
454
00:24:55,202 --> 00:24:57,578
- with this man's problems.
- Oh, that's fine, that's fine.
455
00:24:57,579 --> 00:25:01,081
How are we doing?
456
00:25:01,082 --> 00:25:02,833
You know, personally,
I don't think you're going to
457
00:25:02,834 --> 00:25:04,835
solve your problems
with each other.
458
00:25:04,836 --> 00:25:08,631
But I'm glad you came to me,
because I think I can help you.
459
00:25:08,632 --> 00:25:11,675
Al, Sandy is not
going to respect you
460
00:25:11,676 --> 00:25:14,345
because you threaten her--
no, respect will have to
461
00:25:14,387 --> 00:25:17,556
come gradually, naturally,
a maturing process.
462
00:25:17,557 --> 00:25:20,059
Mr. Burns,
the Child Welfare Board
463
00:25:20,060 --> 00:25:23,979
is thoroughly aware that
Nicholas is not legally adopted.
464
00:25:23,980 --> 00:25:26,148
Consequently, they have,
I assure you--
465
00:25:26,149 --> 00:25:28,776
Now, you don't assure me
of anything, buddy.
466
00:25:28,777 --> 00:25:31,445
You make me damn nervous.
467
00:25:31,446 --> 00:25:34,865
Mr. Burns, according to the BCW,
the child's continuance
468
00:25:34,866 --> 00:25:38,577
in your home is in serious
and immediate doubt.
469
00:25:45,085 --> 00:25:48,837
Burns, aren't you at all
willing to give some evidence
470
00:25:48,838 --> 00:25:51,882
in your favor for our report?
471
00:25:51,883 --> 00:25:55,970
Some evidence to support
your competency as a guardian?
472
00:26:02,519 --> 00:26:05,187
All right, Albert.
473
00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:20,744
Look, folks,
what's all the trouble?
474
00:26:20,745 --> 00:26:23,038
That kid's my nephew,
he's staying with me
475
00:26:23,039 --> 00:26:25,082
for a while, he's visiting.
476
00:26:25,083 --> 00:26:27,710
- How long has he been here?
- Seven years.
477
00:26:30,922 --> 00:26:33,507
Nicholas's father, where is he?
478
00:26:33,508 --> 00:26:35,968
Well, that's not
a where question,
479
00:26:35,969 --> 00:26:38,220
that's a who question.
480
00:26:38,221 --> 00:26:41,974
Nicholas's mother,
she is still alive.
481
00:26:41,975 --> 00:26:45,561
Ah, my sister
is unquestionably alive.
482
00:26:45,562 --> 00:26:47,896
But her responsibility
to the child--
483
00:26:47,897 --> 00:26:50,316
Well, now, for five years
she did everything she could
484
00:26:50,317 --> 00:26:53,110
for the child but get married.
485
00:26:53,111 --> 00:26:54,570
Now, that's not easy
to understand,
486
00:26:54,571 --> 00:26:57,489
since she used to
get married to everybody.
487
00:26:57,490 --> 00:26:59,908
You might call Nick a bastard.
488
00:26:59,909 --> 00:27:02,453
Or a little bastard,
depending upon how whimsical
489
00:27:02,454 --> 00:27:05,331
you feel at the time.
490
00:27:05,332 --> 00:27:06,707
I tell ya, folks, I got a real
491
00:27:06,708 --> 00:27:10,002
social worker's paradise here.
492
00:27:10,003 --> 00:27:13,297
Well, my sister, Elaine,
arrived here one day
493
00:27:13,298 --> 00:27:16,467
with two suitcases, a hatbox,
494
00:27:16,468 --> 00:27:19,094
a blue parakeet,
a dead goldfish,
495
00:27:19,137 --> 00:27:21,472
and a five-year-old child.
496
00:27:21,473 --> 00:27:23,223
A few days later,
she went downstairs
497
00:27:23,224 --> 00:27:27,436
to buy a pack
of filter tip cigarettes.
498
00:27:27,437 --> 00:27:29,271
Six years later, she returned
499
00:27:29,272 --> 00:27:32,316
for the suitcases
and the hatbox.
500
00:27:32,317 --> 00:27:34,401
Now, the parakeet,
I had given away.
501
00:27:34,402 --> 00:27:37,613
The goldfish, I had long since
flushed down the toilet.
502
00:27:37,614 --> 00:27:40,491
And the five-year-old child had,
with very little effort,
503
00:27:40,492 --> 00:27:43,118
become six years older.
504
00:27:43,119 --> 00:27:45,371
When Elaine returned
for her luggage,
505
00:27:45,372 --> 00:27:48,123
I reminded her of the child
506
00:27:48,124 --> 00:27:50,959
and the pack
of filter tip cigarettes.
507
00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:52,628
And then, I don't know,
508
00:27:52,629 --> 00:27:56,298
I slapped my sister.
509
00:27:56,299 --> 00:27:58,258
Sister cried at some length,
510
00:27:58,259 --> 00:28:01,929
and then proceeded calmly,
briefly, to explain to me
511
00:28:01,930 --> 00:28:05,057
her well-practiced theory
on the meaning of life,
512
00:28:05,058 --> 00:28:08,852
a philosophy falling somewhere
to the left of whoopee.
513
00:28:08,853 --> 00:28:12,398
Well, that was almost a year ago
and I still got Nick.
514
00:28:12,399 --> 00:28:14,858
But, uh, I am sure
515
00:28:14,859 --> 00:28:18,320
she must have had
some concern about Nicholas.
516
00:28:18,321 --> 00:28:22,116
- About the child.
- His name is not Nicholas.
517
00:28:22,117 --> 00:28:24,827
Or even Nick--you see,
not having given him
518
00:28:24,828 --> 00:28:26,829
a last name,
Elaine felt reticent about
519
00:28:26,830 --> 00:28:29,164
assigning him a first one.
520
00:28:29,165 --> 00:28:31,667
How did you
communicate with, uh--
521
00:28:31,668 --> 00:28:33,919
I made a deal with him
when he was six,
522
00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:37,798
up to which time he was known
rather casually as Chubby,
523
00:28:37,799 --> 00:28:40,008
that he could use
whatever name he wished
524
00:28:40,009 --> 00:28:41,635
for however long he wished
525
00:28:41,636 --> 00:28:44,054
until his 13th birthday,
526
00:28:44,055 --> 00:28:47,766
at which time, he'd have to pick
a name he liked permanently.
527
00:28:47,767 --> 00:28:50,227
Now, he went through
a long period
528
00:28:50,228 --> 00:28:53,397
of dogs' names
when he was little,
529
00:28:53,398 --> 00:28:57,067
King and Rover having
a real vogue there for a while.
530
00:28:57,068 --> 00:28:59,194
For three months,
he referred to himself
531
00:28:59,195 --> 00:29:01,363
as Big Sam.
532
00:29:01,364 --> 00:29:03,741
Then there was Little Max,
533
00:29:03,742 --> 00:29:05,826
Snoopy, Chip,
534
00:29:05,827 --> 00:29:09,580
Rock, Rex, Mike, Marty, Lamont,
Ch--
535
00:29:15,336 --> 00:29:17,296
Chevrolet,
536
00:29:17,297 --> 00:29:21,008
Woodrow, Lefty, the Phantom.
537
00:29:21,009 --> 00:29:23,302
He received his library card
last year in the name of
538
00:29:23,303 --> 00:29:25,846
Raphael Sabatini.
539
00:29:25,847 --> 00:29:27,389
His Cub Scout membership
lists him
540
00:29:27,390 --> 00:29:30,225
as Dr. Morris Fishbein.
541
00:29:30,226 --> 00:29:33,061
Nick seems to be the one
that'll stick, though.
542
00:29:33,062 --> 00:29:34,897
His mother, where--
543
00:29:34,898 --> 00:29:38,275
Oh, Elaine communicates
with my brother and myself
544
00:29:38,276 --> 00:29:40,444
almost entirely by rumor.
545
00:29:42,489 --> 00:29:45,657
Well, I don't think
I've left anything out.
546
00:29:45,658 --> 00:29:49,536
I was not aware that Nicholas
was an O.W. child.
547
00:29:49,537 --> 00:29:51,997
O.W.?
548
00:29:51,998 --> 00:29:53,832
- Out of wedlock.
- For a moment there
549
00:29:53,833 --> 00:29:56,293
I thought you meant
prisoner of war.
550
00:29:56,294 --> 00:29:58,378
I think it's that natural warmth
of yours, Albert,
551
00:29:58,379 --> 00:30:01,757
that leads me to misunderstand.
552
00:30:01,758 --> 00:30:05,260
Yes, but, as concerns
the child...
553
00:30:05,261 --> 00:30:06,762
Uh, where is the child?
554
00:30:06,763 --> 00:30:09,473
You preferred not
having him here anyway, Albert.
555
00:30:09,474 --> 00:30:11,683
I'm perfectly aware, Sandra,
of what I prefer
556
00:30:11,684 --> 00:30:13,560
and what I do not prefer.
557
00:30:15,522 --> 00:30:18,899
I don't care for that tone
of voice at all, Albert.
558
00:30:21,903 --> 00:30:24,947
Sandra, I understand perfectly
what has happened here.
559
00:30:24,948 --> 00:30:27,407
We have allowed
this man to disturb us,
560
00:30:27,408 --> 00:30:29,618
and we have both
gotten a bit upset.
561
00:30:29,619 --> 00:30:31,578
Now, I really do feel
that it's time we got over
562
00:30:31,579 --> 00:30:35,415
to that family problem
in Queens.
563
00:30:35,416 --> 00:30:37,334
It's there in your file,
the Ledbetters,
564
00:30:37,335 --> 00:30:39,127
the introverted child.
565
00:30:39,128 --> 00:30:41,797
We've given an unreasonable
amount of time to this case.
566
00:30:41,798 --> 00:30:43,549
This interview, I'm afraid,
Mr. Burns, has reached a point--
567
00:30:43,550 --> 00:30:46,718
Albert, I personally feel
that it would not be advisable
568
00:30:46,719 --> 00:30:49,137
to leave this particular case
at this particular time.
569
00:30:49,138 --> 00:30:50,889
Sandra, we have
done here this morning--
570
00:30:50,890 --> 00:30:53,183
I feel that we have not really
given Mr. Burns a chance.
571
00:30:53,184 --> 00:30:55,143
Sandra.
572
00:30:55,144 --> 00:30:57,354
It's time we left for Queens.
573
00:31:01,359 --> 00:31:03,193
Here's the Ledbetter file.
574
00:31:03,194 --> 00:31:06,655
I'm staying here.
575
00:31:06,656 --> 00:31:08,866
- Sandra.
- I've decided to pursue
576
00:31:08,867 --> 00:31:11,451
- this case.
- Have we lost
577
00:31:11,452 --> 00:31:12,953
all professional control?
578
00:31:12,954 --> 00:31:17,082
You just go yourself
to the Ledbellys.
579
00:31:17,083 --> 00:31:21,795
You, go on to Queens,
why don't you?
580
00:31:21,796 --> 00:31:24,756
May I just talk to you
for a moment, please?
581
00:31:27,135 --> 00:31:29,553
Dear, what is this?
582
00:31:29,596 --> 00:31:31,471
What's happened to you today,
what are you doing?
583
00:31:31,472 --> 00:31:33,724
I'm doing what I think is right.
584
00:31:33,725 --> 00:31:36,393
Now, I understand
how you feel, Sandra.
585
00:31:36,394 --> 00:31:38,020
-But there's nothing more--
-Are you really going
586
00:31:38,021 --> 00:31:39,354
to leave that man here
like that?
587
00:31:39,355 --> 00:31:41,064
You're not going
to try to help him
588
00:31:41,065 --> 00:31:43,942
or tell him about the board
separating him from the child?
589
00:31:43,943 --> 00:31:45,861
I mean, just so cold.
590
00:31:45,862 --> 00:31:47,946
Darling,
of course I want to help,
591
00:31:47,947 --> 00:31:49,531
but let's not forget the child
592
00:31:49,532 --> 00:31:52,284
is the one who needs
our attention.
593
00:31:52,285 --> 00:31:55,037
Listen, you have--
you have spent too much time
594
00:31:55,038 --> 00:31:57,372
in that graduate school
and not enough time
595
00:31:57,373 --> 00:31:59,416
in the field, now, you've got
to learn your job--
596
00:31:59,417 --> 00:32:01,460
Don't give me
any of that nonsense!
597
00:32:01,461 --> 00:32:03,337
This is not the time
nor the place for this!
598
00:32:03,338 --> 00:32:05,547
You know, graduate school
wouldn't have done you any harm,
599
00:32:05,548 --> 00:32:09,760
believe me--
it's the most terrible thing!
600
00:32:09,761 --> 00:32:12,095
Do you know what you are,
Albert? You're...
601
00:32:13,848 --> 00:32:16,892
I don't know,
but I'll think of something.
602
00:32:16,893 --> 00:32:19,102
Mr. Burns--Mr. Burns,
you can assume...
603
00:32:20,897 --> 00:32:23,148
Mr. Burns?
604
00:32:27,445 --> 00:32:30,864
Oh, uh, Mr. Burns.
605
00:32:30,865 --> 00:32:33,158
You can assume at this point
that Miss Markowitz
606
00:32:33,159 --> 00:32:35,994
is no longer involved
with your case.
607
00:32:35,995 --> 00:32:38,830
Now, the board will be informed
608
00:32:38,831 --> 00:32:42,334
that she's no longer involved
with this particular case.
609
00:32:42,335 --> 00:32:45,420
Her continuing to discuss
your case at this point
610
00:32:45,421 --> 00:32:47,255
is entirely unofficial.
611
00:32:47,256 --> 00:32:50,717
You can dismiss any conference,
612
00:32:50,718 --> 00:32:53,428
which may resume when I leave.
613
00:32:53,429 --> 00:32:55,639
After I leave here.
614
00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:58,392
From your mind.
615
00:32:58,393 --> 00:33:00,936
And regardless
of what you think of me.
616
00:33:00,937 --> 00:33:03,397
I think you're a dirty O.W.
617
00:33:10,655 --> 00:33:13,115
And do you know what you are?
618
00:33:13,116 --> 00:33:14,574
Maladjusted.
619
00:33:14,575 --> 00:33:16,785
Ooh!
620
00:33:19,414 --> 00:33:22,082
Good afternoon, Mr. Burns.
621
00:33:22,083 --> 00:33:24,584
Good afternoon, Sandra.
622
00:33:37,265 --> 00:33:39,766
Mr. Burns?
623
00:33:42,145 --> 00:33:45,105
Mr. Burns,
I must apologize to you.
624
00:33:47,191 --> 00:33:49,985
We, uh,
625
00:33:49,986 --> 00:33:51,987
we have put you--
626
00:33:51,988 --> 00:33:56,158
you have been put at
a disadvantage this morning,
627
00:33:56,159 --> 00:34:00,871
Mr. Burns, because you've been
involved in a personal problem
628
00:34:00,872 --> 00:34:04,708
that has nothing
whatsoever to do
629
00:34:04,709 --> 00:34:08,462
with your particular case.
630
00:34:08,463 --> 00:34:11,006
It's entirely wrong
for me to give you
631
00:34:11,007 --> 00:34:13,717
this impression of our...
632
00:34:18,473 --> 00:34:20,766
- Do you know what?
- What?
633
00:34:20,767 --> 00:34:24,144
I hate the Ledbetters!
634
00:34:24,145 --> 00:34:25,854
Well, I'm sure
once I got to know them,
635
00:34:25,855 --> 00:34:27,898
- I'd hate them too.
- Mr. Burns,
636
00:34:27,899 --> 00:34:29,858
you don't understand.
637
00:34:29,859 --> 00:34:33,028
Some of the cases, I love,
and some of them, I hate,
638
00:34:33,029 --> 00:34:35,238
and that's all wrong
for my work,
639
00:34:35,239 --> 00:34:37,491
but I can't help it!
640
00:34:37,492 --> 00:34:39,326
I hate Raymond Ledbetter,
641
00:34:39,327 --> 00:34:42,287
and he's only nine years old.
642
00:34:42,288 --> 00:34:43,955
But some of them--some of them
643
00:34:43,956 --> 00:34:47,501
I like too much, and I worry
about them all day long,
644
00:34:47,502 --> 00:34:49,669
it is an obvious conflict
645
00:34:49,670 --> 00:34:52,547
against all
professional standards.
646
00:34:52,548 --> 00:34:56,635
I didn't like Raymond Ledbetter,
so I tried to understand him,
647
00:34:56,636 --> 00:34:59,888
and now that I understand him,
I hate him!
648
00:35:03,309 --> 00:35:05,435
Can I get you a cup of coffee?
649
00:35:07,480 --> 00:35:11,817
Albert is gone,
and I just lost my job.
650
00:35:11,818 --> 00:35:15,862
I wrote out
what my married name would be
651
00:35:15,863 --> 00:35:19,699
on a paper napkin
last night after dinner,
652
00:35:19,700 --> 00:35:22,160
"Mrs. Albert Amundson,"
653
00:35:22,161 --> 00:35:24,412
to see how it would look.
654
00:35:27,166 --> 00:35:29,501
We were going to be married.
655
00:35:29,502 --> 00:35:32,504
It was all planned.
656
00:35:32,505 --> 00:35:35,674
"Mrs. Albert Amundson,"
on a napkin.
657
00:35:38,761 --> 00:35:41,972
You have to understand Albert.
658
00:35:41,973 --> 00:35:45,183
He's really a very nice person
when he's not on cases.
659
00:35:45,184 --> 00:35:47,602
He's a very intelligent man.
660
00:35:49,480 --> 00:35:51,398
Last month,
I fell asleep on him twice
661
00:35:51,399 --> 00:35:54,192
while he was talking to me.
662
00:35:54,193 --> 00:35:56,403
Do you have to sit there?
663
00:35:56,404 --> 00:35:58,363
Please go away.
664
00:36:00,491 --> 00:36:03,618
Why don't you go away?
665
00:36:03,619 --> 00:36:05,579
Well, I live here.
666
00:36:05,580 --> 00:36:09,082
I would like everybody
to go away.
667
00:36:09,083 --> 00:36:11,418
Could I get you
a pastrami sandwich?
668
00:36:11,419 --> 00:36:13,837
I don't even know you,
I am crying
669
00:36:13,838 --> 00:36:17,132
right in front of you,
please go away!
670
00:36:19,343 --> 00:36:22,137
Now, you're really going
to have to stop crying,
671
00:36:22,138 --> 00:36:24,347
because I'm going
out of my mind here.
672
00:36:24,348 --> 00:36:26,725
I cry all the time,
and I laugh
673
00:36:26,726 --> 00:36:28,894
in the wrong places
at the movies.
674
00:36:30,897 --> 00:36:33,023
I am unsuited to my profession,
675
00:36:33,024 --> 00:36:34,900
I can't do anything right.
676
00:36:34,901 --> 00:36:38,528
Last night,
I burned an entire chicken.
677
00:36:38,529 --> 00:36:40,739
And after seven years
of school, I can't work
678
00:36:40,740 --> 00:36:43,283
and I've got no place to go.
679
00:36:43,284 --> 00:36:46,077
An entire chicken!
680
00:36:46,078 --> 00:36:49,372
Oh, this is an awful day.
681
00:36:49,373 --> 00:36:51,333
What am I going to do?
682
00:36:51,334 --> 00:36:53,168
Oh, Miss Markowitz,
683
00:36:53,169 --> 00:36:56,379
this is a beautiful day.
684
00:36:56,380 --> 00:36:58,882
And I'll tell you why.
685
00:36:58,883 --> 00:37:00,967
Look, you're really
a jolly old girl
686
00:37:00,968 --> 00:37:03,178
and you are well rid of Albert.
687
00:37:03,179 --> 00:37:05,180
You have been given
the rare opportunity
688
00:37:05,181 --> 00:37:09,184
of returning the unused portion
and having your money refunded.
689
00:37:09,185 --> 00:37:11,728
But my work.
690
00:37:11,729 --> 00:37:13,480
What am I going to do?
691
00:37:13,481 --> 00:37:16,524
But you're a lover,
Dr. Markowitz.
692
00:37:16,525 --> 00:37:20,403
Yeah, you are a lover
of things and of people.
693
00:37:20,404 --> 00:37:22,197
So, you took up work
where you could get at
694
00:37:22,198 --> 00:37:24,199
as many of them as possible,
695
00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:27,160
and it just turned out
there were too many of them
696
00:37:27,161 --> 00:37:30,247
and too much that moves you.
697
00:37:30,248 --> 00:37:32,082
But dammit,
be glad it turned out
698
00:37:32,083 --> 00:37:34,459
you're not reasonable
and sensible.
699
00:37:34,460 --> 00:37:37,754
Have all the gratitude you can
that you're capable
700
00:37:37,755 --> 00:37:40,257
of embarrassment and joy
701
00:37:40,258 --> 00:37:43,218
and are a marathon crier.
702
00:37:43,219 --> 00:37:45,887
There is a kind of relief
that it's gone,
703
00:37:45,930 --> 00:37:48,848
the job, and even Albert.
704
00:37:48,849 --> 00:37:51,017
But I know what it is,
705
00:37:51,018 --> 00:37:53,311
it's just irresponsible,
that's all,
706
00:37:53,312 --> 00:37:55,772
and I don't have
the vaguest idea who I am.
707
00:37:55,773 --> 00:37:58,400
It's just that there are all
these Sandras running around
708
00:37:58,401 --> 00:38:00,235
who you've never met before,
709
00:38:00,236 --> 00:38:02,445
and that's confusing at first,
710
00:38:02,446 --> 00:38:05,323
fantastic--but dammit,
isn't it great to find out
711
00:38:05,324 --> 00:38:07,784
how many Sandras there are?
712
00:38:07,785 --> 00:38:10,120
It's like those
little cars in the circus,
713
00:38:10,121 --> 00:38:12,664
you know,
this tiny red car comes out,
714
00:38:12,665 --> 00:38:14,833
hardly big enough for a midget,
715
00:38:14,834 --> 00:38:18,712
and it putters around,
and suddenly,
716
00:38:18,713 --> 00:38:21,047
its doors open
717
00:38:21,048 --> 00:38:23,258
and out come a thousand clowns,
718
00:38:23,259 --> 00:38:26,386
whooping and hollering
and raising hell.
719
00:38:33,269 --> 00:38:36,688
- What's this?
- That is my undershirt.
720
00:38:36,689 --> 00:38:39,441
Now, how's about going
to the Empire State Building
721
00:38:39,442 --> 00:38:42,610
- with me?
- I'll have that coffee now.
722
00:38:42,611 --> 00:38:44,112
Didn't answer my question,
would you like to visit
723
00:38:44,113 --> 00:38:46,239
the Empire State Building?
724
00:38:46,240 --> 00:38:49,034
No, not really.
725
00:38:49,035 --> 00:38:51,077
Well then, how about the zoo?
726
00:38:51,078 --> 00:38:52,912
Not just now.
727
00:38:52,913 --> 00:38:55,457
Well, will you marry me?
728
00:38:55,458 --> 00:38:56,833
- What?
- Just a bit
729
00:38:56,834 --> 00:38:58,668
of shock treatment there--
I have found
730
00:38:58,669 --> 00:39:00,837
after long experience,
it's the quickest way
731
00:39:00,838 --> 00:39:03,548
to get a woman's attention
when her mind wandered.
732
00:39:03,549 --> 00:39:05,884
Always works.
733
00:39:05,885 --> 00:39:08,970
-Mr. Burns--
-Oh, no, no, now that you cried,
734
00:39:09,013 --> 00:39:11,473
you can't call me "Mr. Burns."
735
00:39:11,474 --> 00:39:13,308
Same thing goes for laughing.
736
00:39:13,309 --> 00:39:15,977
My name is Murray.
737
00:39:15,978 --> 00:39:18,563
Well, Murray, um, hmm,
738
00:39:18,564 --> 00:39:20,732
to sort of return
to reality for a moment--
739
00:39:20,733 --> 00:39:22,859
I'll only go as a tourist.
740
00:39:24,653 --> 00:39:26,529
Murray...
741
00:39:26,530 --> 00:39:30,408
the Child Welfare Board
could really take Nick away.
742
00:39:30,409 --> 00:39:32,118
But there's some things
that you could do about it
743
00:39:32,119 --> 00:39:33,953
to make your case
a little stronger.
744
00:39:33,954 --> 00:39:35,372
Uh, Sandra, do you realize
745
00:39:35,373 --> 00:39:37,999
you are not wearing your shoes?
746
00:39:43,214 --> 00:39:46,508
Well, here I am with some
of my favorite books.
747
00:39:46,509 --> 00:39:48,343
Uh, Fun in the Rain,
The Young Railroader,
748
00:39:48,344 --> 00:39:50,762
Great Philosophers,
Science for Youth,
749
00:39:50,805 --> 00:39:52,430
and a Spanish dictionary.
750
00:39:52,431 --> 00:39:54,474
See, what I did was, I left them
out on the street when I was
751
00:39:54,475 --> 00:39:55,975
-playing and I thought--
-Nick, you just killed
752
00:39:55,976 --> 00:39:57,435
a whole month's allowance
for nothing,
753
00:39:57,436 --> 00:40:00,563
Miss Markowitz isn't even
on our case anymore.
754
00:40:00,564 --> 00:40:03,274
I shouldn't have left.
755
00:40:03,275 --> 00:40:05,360
You got angry
and insulted everybody.
756
00:40:05,361 --> 00:40:08,196
Nothing to worry about.
757
00:40:08,197 --> 00:40:11,658
Well, four dollars
right out the window.
758
00:40:14,453 --> 00:40:17,247
We're in real trouble now,
right, lady?
759
00:40:17,248 --> 00:40:20,625
Nick? Nick, we have a guest,
760
00:40:20,626 --> 00:40:22,627
a music lover.
761
00:40:22,628 --> 00:40:26,214
Let's play our song.
762
00:40:26,215 --> 00:40:27,924
Come on,
I'm sure it will be requested.
763
00:40:27,925 --> 00:40:30,635
Murray, you know, we can't
play songs at a time like this.
764
00:40:30,636 --> 00:40:32,220
Come on, old man, where's
your professional attitude?
765
00:40:32,221 --> 00:40:35,473
Murray, we cannot--
this is no time to play songs.
766
00:40:35,474 --> 00:40:37,851
- Please.
- ♪ Yes, sir ♪
767
00:40:37,852 --> 00:40:39,602
- Murray, don't.
- ♪ That's my baby ♪
768
00:40:39,603 --> 00:40:42,897
♪ No, sir,
I don't mean maybe ♪
769
00:40:42,898 --> 00:40:47,819
♪ Yes, sir, that's my baby ♪
770
00:40:50,072 --> 00:40:53,408
♪ Yes, sir, we've decided ♪
771
00:40:53,409 --> 00:40:56,953
♪ No, sir,
but we won't hide it ♪
772
00:40:56,954 --> 00:41:01,124
♪ Yes, sir,
that's my baby now ♪
773
00:41:02,918 --> 00:41:06,379
- ♪ Oh, by the way ♪
- ♪ Oh, by the way ♪
774
00:41:06,380 --> 00:41:09,507
- ♪ Oh, by the way ♪
- ♪ Oh, by the way... ♪
775
00:41:09,508 --> 00:41:12,302
♪ And when we meet,
776
00:41:12,303 --> 00:41:16,014
somebody will say ♪
777
00:41:16,015 --> 00:41:17,265
♪ Yes, sir, that's my baby ♪
778
00:41:17,266 --> 00:41:18,600
♪ No, sir, don't mean maybe ♪
779
00:41:18,601 --> 00:41:21,603
♪ Yes, sir, that's my baby ♪
780
00:41:21,604 --> 00:41:25,064
♪ Oh, by the way ♪
781
00:41:25,065 --> 00:41:29,152
♪ And by the way ♪
782
00:41:29,153 --> 00:41:31,529
♪ When we meet,
783
00:41:31,530 --> 00:41:35,116
somebody will say... ♪
784
00:41:37,745 --> 00:41:41,080
♪ Yes, sir, that's my-- ♪
785
00:41:41,081 --> 00:41:42,790
Nice to meet you, lady,
I'll see you around.
786
00:41:42,791 --> 00:41:44,667
Where you off to, Nick?
787
00:41:44,668 --> 00:41:46,878
Oh, I'm gonna leave my stuff
up with Mrs. Meyers,
788
00:41:46,879 --> 00:41:49,964
see, I figure I'll be
staying up there tonight.
789
00:41:49,965 --> 00:41:53,468
♪ Oh, by the way ♪
790
00:41:53,469 --> 00:41:57,472
♪ Oh, by the way... ♪
791
00:41:57,473 --> 00:41:59,849
♪ When we meet,
792
00:41:59,850 --> 00:42:03,353
somebody will say... ♪
793
00:42:13,280 --> 00:42:15,949
Murray, who do you know
who's leaving on that boat?
794
00:42:15,950 --> 00:42:18,326
Nobody. I don't get
jealous that way.
795
00:42:18,327 --> 00:42:21,329
Hey, thattaway to go,
Charlie baby, have a great trip!
796
00:42:21,330 --> 00:42:23,331
Bon voyage, Charlie!
797
00:42:23,332 --> 00:42:25,083
That's the way,
have a good trip!
798
00:42:25,084 --> 00:42:27,001
But you see,
it's a great thing to do
799
00:42:27,002 --> 00:42:28,878
when you're about
to start something new,
800
00:42:28,879 --> 00:42:32,257
you see a boat off,
it gives you the genuine feeling
801
00:42:32,258 --> 00:42:34,634
of the beginning of a trip.
802
00:42:34,635 --> 00:42:38,054
Hey, bon voyage, Charlie,
have a wonderful time!
803
00:42:38,055 --> 00:42:42,183
Bon voyage, Charlie,
have a wonderful time!
804
00:42:42,184 --> 00:42:46,521
Bon voyage, Charlie,
have a wonderful time!
805
00:42:47,523 --> 00:42:50,525
A wonderful time!
806
00:43:31,442 --> 00:43:34,193
Oh, wall Street,
it's a lovely view.
807
00:43:34,194 --> 00:43:36,029
To hell with the view.
808
00:43:36,030 --> 00:43:38,698
Right now, at this hour,
809
00:43:38,699 --> 00:43:41,701
it's just me and all that money.
810
00:43:41,702 --> 00:43:46,164
Right now, I'm all alone
with two billion dollars
811
00:43:46,165 --> 00:43:49,626
in cash, checks, and securities.
812
00:43:49,627 --> 00:43:52,587
And me, I'm here too.
813
00:43:55,507 --> 00:43:57,550
Yes, you are, lady.
814
00:44:46,725 --> 00:44:48,810
Ah, light.
815
00:44:52,147 --> 00:44:54,482
Ugh!
816
00:44:59,071 --> 00:45:00,905
No matter what time of day
or what season,
817
00:45:00,906 --> 00:45:03,825
I got a permanent fixture
out there.
818
00:45:03,826 --> 00:45:06,202
It's twilight in February.
819
00:45:06,203 --> 00:45:07,704
Now, one of these mornings,
I'll wake up
820
00:45:07,705 --> 00:45:09,622
and that damn building
will have fallen down
821
00:45:09,623 --> 00:45:14,335
into Seventh Avenue
so I can see the weather.
822
00:45:14,336 --> 00:45:18,256
Uh, using machine
to call up another machine.
823
00:45:18,257 --> 00:45:20,967
I do not enjoy
the company of ghosts.
824
00:45:23,679 --> 00:45:25,346
Hello, weather lady,
well, I'm fine,
825
00:45:25,347 --> 00:45:28,057
and how's your nasal
little self this morning?
826
00:45:28,058 --> 00:45:30,351
What's the weather?
827
00:45:30,352 --> 00:45:32,687
Oh, that high, huh?
828
00:45:32,688 --> 00:45:37,233
And the wind, which way does
the wind blow this morning?
829
00:45:37,234 --> 00:45:42,155
Very good, all the way from
Eastport to Block Island, huh?
830
00:45:42,156 --> 00:45:45,032
Chance of showers?
831
00:45:45,033 --> 00:45:46,617
Say, what exactly
does that mean?
832
00:45:46,618 --> 00:45:48,494
Uh, uh, uh--
833
00:45:48,495 --> 00:45:50,621
There you go again,
you simply must learn
834
00:45:50,622 --> 00:45:52,457
not to repeat yourself.
835
00:45:52,458 --> 00:45:54,709
I keep telling ya every morning
that once is enough.
836
00:45:54,710 --> 00:45:56,711
Ah, you'll never learn.
837
00:45:56,712 --> 00:45:58,921
Chance of showers.
838
00:46:02,718 --> 00:46:05,845
Hello, is this someone
with good news or money?
839
00:46:05,888 --> 00:46:08,097
No? Goodbye.
840
00:46:12,561 --> 00:46:15,354
This is your neighbor speaking.
841
00:46:15,355 --> 00:46:17,231
I'm sure I speak for
all of us when I say
842
00:46:17,232 --> 00:46:19,525
that something must be done
about your garbage cans
843
00:46:19,526 --> 00:46:21,611
in the alley here,
it is definitely
844
00:46:21,612 --> 00:46:23,488
second-rate garbage.
845
00:46:23,489 --> 00:46:27,867
Now, by next week, I want to see
a better class of garbage!
846
00:46:27,868 --> 00:46:31,996
More empty champagne bottles
and caviar cans!
847
00:46:31,997 --> 00:46:34,081
I'm sure you're all
behind me on this,
848
00:46:34,082 --> 00:46:37,835
so let's snap it up
and get on the ball!
849
00:46:48,055 --> 00:46:49,597
Good morning.
850
00:46:51,099 --> 00:46:53,142
Good morning.
851
00:46:53,143 --> 00:46:55,228
How are you this morning?
852
00:46:55,229 --> 00:46:58,022
I am fine this morning,
how are you?
853
00:46:58,023 --> 00:47:00,107
I'm fine also.
854
00:47:02,402 --> 00:47:04,278
You have a bathrobe?
855
00:47:04,279 --> 00:47:06,781
Yes, I have a bathrobe.
856
00:47:06,782 --> 00:47:09,951
May I have your bathrobe,
please?
857
00:47:09,952 --> 00:47:12,954
Well, I'll get you Nick's,
it will fit you better.
858
00:47:12,955 --> 00:47:15,331
Sounds like a good idea.
859
00:47:15,332 --> 00:47:19,460
- There you go.
- Oh, thank you.
860
00:47:19,461 --> 00:47:22,296
Yes...
861
00:47:24,967 --> 00:47:28,594
It's 11:15 and there is
a chance of showers.
862
00:47:33,892 --> 00:47:35,810
Does the bathrobe fit?
863
00:47:35,811 --> 00:47:38,354
This bathrobe fits fine.
864
00:47:42,609 --> 00:47:45,570
Did you happen
to see my clothes?
865
00:47:45,571 --> 00:47:47,280
Oh, uh, they're in the bathroom,
866
00:47:47,281 --> 00:47:49,824
shall I get them?
867
00:47:49,867 --> 00:47:51,826
No, thank you!
868
00:47:55,080 --> 00:47:58,708
This isn't the bathroom,
this is the kitchen.
869
00:47:58,709 --> 00:48:00,585
Here are your clothes,
870
00:48:00,586 --> 00:48:04,130
also toothpaste
and a toothbrush.
871
00:48:04,131 --> 00:48:07,633
Thank you.
872
00:48:07,634 --> 00:48:10,428
- Morning, Murray.
- Good morning, Arnold.
873
00:48:13,140 --> 00:48:16,684
Say, Murray, Chuckles called me
again yesterday
874
00:48:16,685 --> 00:48:21,105
and I told him I would
talk to you, that's all.
875
00:48:21,106 --> 00:48:23,733
Jimmy Sloan's in from the coast.
876
00:48:23,734 --> 00:48:26,068
He's putting a new panel show
package together.
877
00:48:26,069 --> 00:48:29,697
You know, Arnold, you have
many successful clients.
878
00:48:29,698 --> 00:48:31,782
With all these
successful people around,
879
00:48:31,783 --> 00:48:35,745
where are all of our new, young
failures going to come from?
880
00:48:35,746 --> 00:48:38,289
Murray, those people
I saw here yesterday,
881
00:48:38,290 --> 00:48:41,375
they were from the
Welfare Board, is that right?
882
00:48:41,376 --> 00:48:43,044
-Now I tried to warn you--
-Now, there's nothing
883
00:48:43,045 --> 00:48:44,629
- to worry about.
- what are you saying,
884
00:48:44,630 --> 00:48:46,464
there's nothing to worry--
the welfare people
885
00:48:46,465 --> 00:48:49,216
- don't kid around, now do they?
- Arnold, I don't mind you
886
00:48:49,217 --> 00:48:51,552
coming here with fruit
if you'll keep quite,
887
00:48:51,553 --> 00:48:54,180
but you bring a word
with every apple.
888
00:48:54,181 --> 00:48:56,849
Oh.
889
00:48:56,850 --> 00:49:00,061
- Is Nick all right?
- Everything's okay.
890
00:49:00,062 --> 00:49:02,897
- Bye, Murray.
- Bye, Arnold.
891
00:49:25,462 --> 00:49:27,129
You know, yesterday
was the first time
892
00:49:27,130 --> 00:49:31,592
that I had ever visited
the Statue of Liberty.
893
00:49:31,593 --> 00:49:34,428
Funny how you can live
in a city for so long
894
00:49:34,471 --> 00:49:37,390
and not visit one of
its most fascinating sites.
895
00:49:39,518 --> 00:49:42,269
Yes, that is funny.
896
00:49:50,070 --> 00:49:52,279
Oh.
897
00:50:02,749 --> 00:50:04,667
Hmm.
898
00:50:04,668 --> 00:50:07,128
This coffee isn't bad
for yesterday's coffee.
899
00:50:07,129 --> 00:50:11,966
Oh, oh, I think it's very good
for yesterday's coffee, mm.
900
00:50:21,393 --> 00:50:24,437
Good to the last drop.
901
00:50:24,438 --> 00:50:27,565
That's right, that's right.
902
00:50:31,278 --> 00:50:34,655
- I have to go now.
- Oh?
903
00:50:35,657 --> 00:50:37,658
Yes.
904
00:50:37,659 --> 00:50:40,244
I have to be on my way.
905
00:50:42,414 --> 00:50:44,457
But--well, don't forget
your files.
906
00:50:44,458 --> 00:50:47,918
Oh, oh, my files.
907
00:50:54,885 --> 00:50:57,636
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.
908
00:51:00,265 --> 00:51:02,975
Yes, hm, hm...
909
00:51:07,105 --> 00:51:09,857
You crazy nut,
I was ready to kill you.
910
00:51:09,858 --> 00:51:12,026
What happened,
you didn't say anything.
911
00:51:12,027 --> 00:51:14,361
Well, I didn't know
what was going on.
912
00:51:14,362 --> 00:51:15,863
- Don't let me go!
- I'm just putting
913
00:51:15,864 --> 00:51:19,825
my coffee cup down here.
914
00:51:19,826 --> 00:51:22,369
Murray, I thought about it,
915
00:51:22,370 --> 00:51:25,623
and I probably love you.
916
00:51:25,624 --> 00:51:28,042
That's very romantic.
917
00:51:31,254 --> 00:51:33,714
I probably love you too.
918
00:53:59,653 --> 00:54:02,529
Mm, argh!
919
00:54:02,530 --> 00:54:04,031
We'll have to do something
about curtains,
920
00:54:04,032 --> 00:54:06,408
we need color there, Murray.
921
00:54:06,409 --> 00:54:08,535
I hope you didn't mind
about the screen around the bed,
922
00:54:08,536 --> 00:54:11,372
I think it give such a nice
separate bedroom effect
923
00:54:11,373 --> 00:54:13,207
to that side of the room.
924
00:54:13,208 --> 00:54:15,626
Oh, there's so many wonderful
things you can do
925
00:54:15,627 --> 00:54:18,003
with a one-room apartment.
926
00:54:18,004 --> 00:54:21,257
Really, if you're willing
to use your imagination.
927
00:54:21,258 --> 00:54:23,008
Ohh...
928
00:54:24,511 --> 00:54:26,845
Do you have an extra key?
929
00:54:26,888 --> 00:54:29,014
- A what?
- An extra key.
930
00:54:29,015 --> 00:54:31,183
Altman's has this
terrific curtain sale.
931
00:54:31,184 --> 00:54:33,602
Yeah, oh, oh sure a key, uh...
932
00:54:33,603 --> 00:54:36,605
I thought I would go over and--
933
00:54:36,606 --> 00:54:38,357
You know what, Sandy?
934
00:54:38,358 --> 00:54:41,318
I don't seem to have one--
an extra key.
935
00:54:47,033 --> 00:54:49,201
You better answer that, Murray.
936
00:54:49,202 --> 00:54:52,204
Oh, you sure you don't
prefer to, uh--
937
00:54:52,205 --> 00:54:54,873
No, I have no reason
to hide from anybody.
938
00:54:54,874 --> 00:54:57,209
Ah-ha.
939
00:55:01,047 --> 00:55:03,299
Good morning, Mr. Burns.
940
00:55:08,013 --> 00:55:09,680
How are you?
941
00:55:09,681 --> 00:55:11,765
- May I come in?
- Sure.
942
00:55:15,103 --> 00:55:18,272
I--I called you this morning,
Mr. Burns.
943
00:55:18,273 --> 00:55:22,192
- Oh, that was you.
- It was me.
944
00:55:22,193 --> 00:55:25,154
Miss Markowitz did not show up
in Queens yesterday.
945
00:55:25,155 --> 00:55:26,780
So.
946
00:55:26,781 --> 00:55:29,950
Well, her parents
are quite upset.
947
00:55:29,951 --> 00:55:32,453
I am quite upset.
948
00:55:32,454 --> 00:55:35,205
- Where is she?
- She's hiding in the closet.
949
00:55:37,042 --> 00:55:39,126
Now, we're really
all quite anxious to know
950
00:55:39,127 --> 00:55:42,796
where she is.
951
00:55:42,797 --> 00:55:46,175
I'm not kidding, Albert,
she's in the closet.
952
00:56:04,778 --> 00:56:06,653
She is in the closet.
953
00:56:06,654 --> 00:56:08,655
I wouldn't lie to you, Albert.
954
00:56:10,700 --> 00:56:12,618
Why is she in the closet?
955
00:56:12,619 --> 00:56:16,121
I don't know, uh, she's got
this thing about closets.
956
00:56:18,333 --> 00:56:21,377
Well, that's a very silly thing
for her to be in,
957
00:56:21,378 --> 00:56:22,878
that closet.
958
00:56:22,879 --> 00:56:25,464
Well, don't knock it
until you've tried it.
959
00:56:25,465 --> 00:56:29,301
Now, uh, what else
can I do for you, Albert?
960
00:56:29,302 --> 00:56:32,137
That's a difficult thing
for me to believe.
961
00:56:32,138 --> 00:56:36,141
I mean, that she's right there
in the closet.
962
00:56:36,142 --> 00:56:38,143
You know, you are not a person,
Mr. Burns,
963
00:56:38,144 --> 00:56:41,188
you are an experience.
964
00:56:41,189 --> 00:56:44,608
Very nice, Albert,
I'll have to remember that.
965
00:56:48,988 --> 00:56:52,366
Uh, actually, Dr. Markowitz
is not the reason
966
00:56:52,367 --> 00:56:54,576
for my visit today.
967
00:56:54,577 --> 00:56:56,954
I came here in
an official capacity.
968
00:56:56,955 --> 00:56:58,414
Coffee?
969
00:56:58,415 --> 00:57:00,582
No, thank you.
970
00:57:15,390 --> 00:57:18,934
Ah, now what's on your mind,
Albert?
971
00:57:23,314 --> 00:57:25,399
Uh, Burns...
972
00:57:25,400 --> 00:57:28,026
Late yesterday afternoon,
973
00:57:28,027 --> 00:57:30,154
the Child Welfare Board
974
00:57:30,155 --> 00:57:32,781
made a decision on your case.
975
00:57:32,782 --> 00:57:36,452
Now, uh, the decision
they've reached is based on
976
00:57:36,453 --> 00:57:39,580
three months
of a thorough study.
977
00:57:39,581 --> 00:57:42,374
Our interview yesterday
was only a small part of that,
978
00:57:43,960 --> 00:57:46,462
quite thorough.
979
00:57:48,381 --> 00:57:49,715
I want you to understand,
980
00:57:49,716 --> 00:57:52,092
that I am not responsible
personally
981
00:57:52,093 --> 00:57:53,635
for the decision
they've reached.
982
00:57:53,636 --> 00:57:55,888
-Now look, Albert--
-Months of research
983
00:57:55,930 --> 00:57:59,349
by the board and reports
by the Revere School
984
00:57:59,350 --> 00:58:02,352
show a severe
domestic instability,
985
00:58:02,353 --> 00:58:05,105
a libertine self-indulgence,
986
00:58:05,106 --> 00:58:07,816
a whole range of circumstances
severely detrimental
987
00:58:07,817 --> 00:58:09,318
to the child's welfare.
988
00:58:09,319 --> 00:58:12,571
Hey, stop tap-dancing a second,
Albert.
989
00:58:12,572 --> 00:58:15,032
Now, what's going on?
990
00:58:15,033 --> 00:58:17,367
Well, it is the board's decision
that you are unfit
991
00:58:17,368 --> 00:58:19,661
to be the guardian
of your nephew
992
00:58:19,662 --> 00:58:21,580
and that action be taken
this Friday
993
00:58:21,581 --> 00:58:24,041
to remove him from this home
994
00:58:24,042 --> 00:58:26,585
and the deprivation
you cause him.
995
00:58:28,213 --> 00:58:32,299
Who writes your material
for you, Charles Dickens?
996
00:58:32,300 --> 00:58:35,344
The board is prepared
to find a more stable,
997
00:58:35,345 --> 00:58:37,596
permanent home for your nephew,
998
00:58:37,639 --> 00:58:42,017
a family with whom he will live
a more wholesome, normal life.
999
00:58:42,018 --> 00:58:45,312
Hey, listen, Albert, isn't there
some kind of a hearing?
1000
00:58:45,313 --> 00:58:48,232
Well, yes, you will have
the opportunity Thursday
1001
00:58:48,233 --> 00:58:50,275
to state your case to the board.
1002
00:58:50,276 --> 00:58:53,070
Now, if there is some
substantial change
1003
00:58:53,071 --> 00:58:56,448
in your circumstances,
if you can demonstrate
1004
00:58:56,449 --> 00:58:59,368
that you are a responsible
member of society--
1005
00:58:59,369 --> 00:59:01,286
Well, this is Tuesday, what
the hell am I supposed to do
1006
00:59:01,287 --> 00:59:04,456
in the next two days,
win the Nobel Peace Prize?
1007
00:59:07,043 --> 00:59:08,961
You were to be informed
by the court,
1008
00:59:08,962 --> 00:59:13,298
but in view of the confusion
which took place here yesterday,
1009
00:59:13,299 --> 00:59:15,425
for which I consider
myself responsible--
1010
00:59:15,426 --> 00:59:17,344
You know, you speak
like you write everything down
1011
00:59:17,345 --> 00:59:20,764
before you say it.
1012
00:59:20,765 --> 00:59:24,518
Well, yes, I do speak that way,
Mr. Burns.
1013
00:59:24,519 --> 00:59:27,271
I wish I spoke
more spontaneously.
1014
00:59:29,023 --> 00:59:31,275
I will always appear foolish
in a conversation
1015
00:59:31,276 --> 00:59:33,193
with a person
of your imagination.
1016
00:59:35,613 --> 00:59:37,447
Please, understand
1017
00:59:37,448 --> 00:59:41,201
there is no vengeance
in my activities here.
1018
00:59:41,202 --> 00:59:44,121
I love my work, Mr. Burns.
1019
00:59:44,122 --> 00:59:47,499
Now, I believe that you are
a danger to this child.
1020
00:59:47,500 --> 00:59:49,418
- Oh, now.
- Now, I wish this were not true,
1021
00:59:49,419 --> 00:59:52,754
because it is obvious
you have considerable affection
1022
00:59:52,755 --> 00:59:54,506
for your nephew.
1023
00:59:54,507 --> 00:59:56,925
It shows in your face,
this feeling.
1024
00:59:59,137 --> 01:00:02,431
Well, I admire you
for your warmth, Mr. Burns,
1025
01:00:02,473 --> 01:00:05,183
and for the affection
the child feels for you.
1026
01:00:05,184 --> 01:00:08,562
I admire this because
I am one for whom children
1027
01:00:08,563 --> 01:00:12,441
do not easily feel affection.
1028
01:00:12,442 --> 01:00:17,029
I am not one of the warm people.
1029
01:00:17,030 --> 01:00:20,032
But your feeling for the child
does not mollify
1030
01:00:20,033 --> 01:00:23,368
the genuinely dangerous,
emotional climate
1031
01:00:23,369 --> 01:00:24,786
you have made for him.
1032
01:00:24,787 --> 01:00:27,080
Now, I wish you could
understand this.
1033
01:00:27,081 --> 01:00:28,707
I would so much rather
you understood,
1034
01:00:28,708 --> 01:00:32,002
could really hear
what I have to say,
1035
01:00:32,003 --> 01:00:33,754
for yours is, I believe,
1036
01:00:33,755 --> 01:00:36,590
a distorted picture
of this world.
1037
01:00:38,259 --> 01:00:40,927
Then why don't you send me
to a foster home?
1038
01:00:43,890 --> 01:00:46,892
I was right, you really can't
listen to me.
1039
01:00:46,893 --> 01:00:49,478
You're so sure of your sight.
1040
01:00:49,479 --> 01:00:54,399
Your villains and heroes are
all so terribly clear to you.
1041
01:00:54,400 --> 01:00:57,486
And I am obviously
one of the villains.
1042
01:01:02,659 --> 01:01:05,994
Well, God save you
from your vision, Mr. Burns.
1043
01:01:13,878 --> 01:01:16,004
Goodbye.
1044
01:01:29,769 --> 01:01:31,269
Hey!
1045
01:01:31,270 --> 01:01:32,938
I'll bet you don't believe
I really do live
1046
01:01:32,939 --> 01:01:36,274
above an abandoned
Chinese restaurant, huh?
1047
01:01:36,275 --> 01:01:37,901
- Come on, I'll show it to you.
- Murray.
1048
01:01:37,902 --> 01:01:40,445
Don't be nervous, lady,
you're at an awkward stage,
1049
01:01:40,446 --> 01:01:44,116
- you're between closets.
- Murray, what Albert said
1050
01:01:44,117 --> 01:01:46,243
- about Nick...
- Now, look, Sandy, to tell you
1051
01:01:46,244 --> 01:01:49,454
the truth, it's even better
for me if he goes.
1052
01:01:49,455 --> 01:01:52,124
I mean, he's a middle-aged kid.
1053
01:01:53,918 --> 01:01:55,752
You know, when I signed
with the network that time,
1054
01:01:55,753 --> 01:01:58,588
he sat up all night figuring out
the fringe benefits
1055
01:01:58,589 --> 01:02:00,716
and the pension plan.
1056
01:02:00,717 --> 01:02:05,137
And he started to make lists
this year,
1057
01:02:05,138 --> 01:02:07,055
lists of everything!
1058
01:02:07,056 --> 01:02:09,266
Subway stops, underwear,
1059
01:02:09,267 --> 01:02:11,059
what he's gonna do next week.
1060
01:02:11,060 --> 01:02:12,644
I told him
if he doesn't watch out,
1061
01:02:12,645 --> 01:02:14,396
he's gonna start making lists
of what he's gonna do next year
1062
01:02:14,397 --> 01:02:16,606
and for the next ten years.
1063
01:02:18,526 --> 01:02:20,152
Hey.
1064
01:02:20,153 --> 01:02:22,279
Suppose they put him in
1065
01:02:22,280 --> 01:02:24,364
with a whole family
1066
01:02:24,365 --> 01:02:27,117
of lists makers--no, no,
I didn't spend six years
1067
01:02:27,118 --> 01:02:29,995
with him so he'd turn into
a list maker.
1068
01:02:29,996 --> 01:02:33,915
He'll learn to know
everything before it happens.
1069
01:02:33,916 --> 01:02:35,917
He'll learn how to plan!
1070
01:02:35,918 --> 01:02:39,087
Learn how to be one
of the nice dead people.
1071
01:02:40,882 --> 01:02:43,341
- Are you listening to me?
- Of course, Murray, I told you--
1072
01:02:43,342 --> 01:02:45,844
Well, then stamp your foot
or mutter or something
1073
01:02:45,845 --> 01:02:47,846
so I'll know you're there,
will you?
1074
01:02:47,889 --> 01:02:51,099
I want to be sure he knows when
he's chickening out on himself.
1075
01:02:52,727 --> 01:02:54,895
I want him to get to know
the special thing he is,
1076
01:02:54,896 --> 01:02:58,607
or else he won't notice it
when it starts to go.
1077
01:02:58,608 --> 01:03:01,735
I want him to stay awake
and know who the phonies are!
1078
01:03:01,736 --> 01:03:04,988
I want him to know how to holler
and put up an argument.
1079
01:03:04,989 --> 01:03:09,326
I want a little guts to show
before I can let him go.
1080
01:03:09,327 --> 01:03:13,914
I want to be sure he sees
all the wild possibilities.
1081
01:03:13,915 --> 01:03:15,832
I want him to know
it's worth all the trouble
1082
01:03:15,833 --> 01:03:17,918
just to give the world
a little goosing
1083
01:03:17,919 --> 01:03:21,546
once you get the chance.
1084
01:03:21,547 --> 01:03:24,424
I want him to know the sneaky,
1085
01:03:24,425 --> 01:03:28,970
subtle, important reason
1086
01:03:28,971 --> 01:03:32,516
he was born a human being
1087
01:03:32,517 --> 01:03:35,101
and not a chair.
1088
01:03:37,855 --> 01:03:40,148
Hey, I, uh, brought you
all the way down here,
1089
01:03:40,149 --> 01:03:41,900
I didn't even show you
the restaurant.
1090
01:03:41,901 --> 01:03:45,237
Hey, the original Lum Fars
Oriental Paradise,
1091
01:03:45,238 --> 01:03:47,322
rear door.
1092
01:03:47,323 --> 01:03:50,367
It's a shame they closed it,
something to do with
1093
01:03:50,368 --> 01:03:53,703
not being recognized
by the United Nations.
1094
01:03:56,290 --> 01:03:57,707
Sandy, I don't want him to go!
1095
01:03:57,708 --> 01:04:00,377
I like having him around here.
1096
01:04:01,587 --> 01:04:04,047
What'll I do, Sandy?
Help me out.
1097
01:04:05,758 --> 01:04:08,844
You see...
1098
01:04:08,845 --> 01:04:12,305
I like when he reads me
from the want ads.
1099
01:04:15,142 --> 01:04:19,020
Don't worry, Murray,
we will do something.
1100
01:04:19,021 --> 01:04:21,189
I know the board,
their procedures,
1101
01:04:21,190 --> 01:04:23,733
there are things we can do.
1102
01:04:28,155 --> 01:04:30,824
What I'll do is I'll, uh...
1103
01:04:30,825 --> 01:04:32,993
I'll buy a new suit.
1104
01:04:32,994 --> 01:04:36,621
First thing is to get
a dignified suit.
1105
01:04:36,622 --> 01:04:40,834
If you could just get
some kind of job, Murray.
1106
01:04:40,835 --> 01:04:42,836
- Get your brother to help you.
- Yeah, right, right.
1107
01:04:42,837 --> 01:04:44,671
Is there something
you could get in a hurry?
1108
01:04:44,672 --> 01:04:47,507
Yeah, one of those summer suits
with the ready-made cuffs.
1109
01:04:47,508 --> 01:04:49,509
No--a job.
1110
01:04:49,510 --> 01:04:52,012
If you could just bring
some proof of employment
1111
01:04:52,013 --> 01:04:53,597
to the hearing, Murray,
1112
01:04:53,639 --> 01:04:55,807
show them how anxious
you are to change,
1113
01:04:55,808 --> 01:04:58,602
show them you want
to be reliable!
1114
01:05:00,855 --> 01:05:02,397
Yeah!
1115
01:05:02,398 --> 01:05:04,107
Reliable!
1116
01:05:05,776 --> 01:05:08,862
Sandy, we will put on a great
damn show for them,
1117
01:05:08,863 --> 01:05:11,323
spectacular reliability!
1118
01:05:11,324 --> 01:05:14,075
A reliability parade--
bands, floats, banners,
1119
01:05:14,076 --> 01:05:16,286
everything!
1120
01:05:20,124 --> 01:05:23,251
Great, keep that laugh,
I'll need it later.
1121
01:05:30,426 --> 01:05:33,136
Hello, Margot? Murray.
1122
01:05:33,137 --> 01:05:35,221
Oh. Well, when Arnie comes in,
1123
01:05:35,264 --> 01:05:38,058
tell him I need a job
in a hurry, huh?
1124
01:05:38,059 --> 01:05:39,893
Yeah, tell him to set up
some appointments for lunch
1125
01:05:39,894 --> 01:05:41,895
and straight through
the afternoon, if he can.
1126
01:05:41,896 --> 01:05:43,396
Tell him the people
he mentioned this morning,
1127
01:05:43,397 --> 01:05:46,149
whoever can see me today
right away, okay?
1128
01:05:46,150 --> 01:05:48,652
Yeah, I'll call him back later.
1129
01:05:48,653 --> 01:05:51,529
All right, thanks, Margot, bye!
1130
01:05:51,530 --> 01:05:53,448
Hey, Sandy, I'm gonna buy
a new suit now.
1131
01:05:53,449 --> 01:05:55,492
Can I come with you?
I'd love to watch you buy one!
1132
01:05:55,493 --> 01:05:58,328
No, you better not,
Sandy, I gotta move fast.
1133
01:05:58,329 --> 01:06:01,331
- You wait for me upstairs, huh?
- Oh.
1134
01:06:03,751 --> 01:06:07,295
- Here's a key for ya.
- Thank you.
1135
01:06:07,296 --> 01:06:10,840
- Look, don't go away, huh?
- Oh, no, oh, Murray.
1136
01:06:12,134 --> 01:06:14,094
- Say, "Good luck."
- Good luck.
1137
01:06:14,095 --> 01:06:16,262
Say, "You are a magnificent
human being."
1138
01:06:16,305 --> 01:06:18,765
You are a magnificent
human being.
1139
01:06:18,766 --> 01:06:20,767
I thought you'd notice.
1140
01:06:42,540 --> 01:06:44,207
Mom!
1141
01:06:44,208 --> 01:06:46,835
Oh, I know you must've been
going out of your mind,
1142
01:06:46,836 --> 01:06:48,878
and I'm sorry, Mom,
but I'm calling you now
1143
01:06:48,879 --> 01:06:52,048
to tell you some--
some wonderful news.
1144
01:07:03,811 --> 01:07:05,895
Oh-ha, oh, it's a--
1145
01:07:05,896 --> 01:07:08,648
it's a really basic
relationship.
1146
01:07:08,649 --> 01:07:11,359
I'm so--so in love with him,
1147
01:07:11,360 --> 01:07:15,071
and I'm so very happy!
1148
01:07:15,072 --> 01:07:17,949
Well, what do you mean,
what do I mean "happy"?
1149
01:08:05,831 --> 01:08:07,916
Um, well, I mean...
1150
01:08:07,917 --> 01:08:11,127
well, you know, uh, happy.
1151
01:08:35,402 --> 01:08:38,488
I got a great new
panel show package.
1152
01:08:38,489 --> 01:08:41,324
All ad lib, you'll be
the permanent member
1153
01:08:41,325 --> 01:08:45,245
on the panel, every afternoon
just talk, no sweat.
1154
01:08:46,997 --> 01:08:50,416
Great running bit
for you on the show.
1155
01:08:50,417 --> 01:08:54,045
- What's that?
- Honesty.
1156
01:08:54,046 --> 01:08:56,297
Absolute honesty.
1157
01:08:56,298 --> 01:08:58,049
The minute you come on,
the first thing that comes
1158
01:08:58,050 --> 01:08:59,884
to your cockamamie head.
1159
01:09:01,428 --> 01:09:03,179
Great TV.
1160
01:09:03,222 --> 01:09:05,890
You be you, a big nut.
1161
01:09:05,891 --> 01:09:09,227
Have you decided on
your luncheon order, sir?
1162
01:09:09,228 --> 01:09:13,231
Yes, I'll have a hamburger
and a flashlight.
1163
01:09:17,319 --> 01:09:20,864
Beautiful, beautiful.
1164
01:09:20,865 --> 01:09:23,032
Oh, you'll be nutsy crazy,
1165
01:09:23,033 --> 01:09:24,951
the audience will love you,
Murray.
1166
01:09:24,952 --> 01:09:27,203
A big, lovable eccentric.
1167
01:09:27,204 --> 01:09:29,664
I'll put you on
just the way you are,
1168
01:09:29,665 --> 01:09:32,625
a natural phenomenon
like the Grand Canyon.
1169
01:09:32,626 --> 01:09:34,335
You'll have that crazy,
nutsy face
1170
01:09:34,336 --> 01:09:37,422
and that cockamamie talk.
1171
01:09:37,423 --> 01:09:39,340
Beautiful.
1172
01:09:39,341 --> 01:09:41,968
Love--the audience
will love you, Murray.
1173
01:09:43,721 --> 01:09:45,889
Murray?
1174
01:10:05,910 --> 01:10:10,121
Mother, now, there's nothing
for you to cry about.
1175
01:10:11,457 --> 01:10:14,542
Guts, guts!
1176
01:10:14,543 --> 01:10:16,377
See I told Arnie
I wanted to see you
1177
01:10:16,378 --> 01:10:19,797
because this new series is
going to need a guts attitude.
1178
01:10:19,798 --> 01:10:22,425
Courage kind of thing.
1179
01:10:22,426 --> 01:10:24,219
I woulda run from a writer
with your rep,
1180
01:10:24,220 --> 01:10:27,180
but uh, I'm a gambler, Burns.
1181
01:10:27,181 --> 01:10:30,808
Insecurity excited me.
1182
01:10:30,809 --> 01:10:32,477
Going for a big one this fall,
1183
01:10:32,478 --> 01:10:34,979
series will be really human,
you know, kind of thing,
1184
01:10:34,980 --> 01:10:37,523
sort of a--well, of our time!
1185
01:10:37,524 --> 01:10:41,819
Quality concepts,
area of Kafka, symbolism,
1186
01:10:41,820 --> 01:10:45,698
literate, Chekhovian
sort of thing.
1187
01:10:45,699 --> 01:10:48,368
We're calling it
Homicide Squad.
1188
01:10:48,369 --> 01:10:52,413
Now, I'm just spitballing here,
you know,
1189
01:10:52,414 --> 01:10:55,166
I got a gut reaction,
but each week,
1190
01:10:55,167 --> 01:10:58,086
we ought to be able to get in
about ten minutes
1191
01:10:58,087 --> 01:11:00,380
of moral message, you know?
1192
01:11:00,381 --> 01:11:02,840
Race relations thing,
world peace thing,
1193
01:11:02,841 --> 01:11:05,468
understanding brings love thing,
1194
01:11:05,469 --> 01:11:07,679
love brings understanding--
controversy a bit, you know,
1195
01:11:07,680 --> 01:11:10,640
tough, you know,
but, uh, warm.
1196
01:12:26,508 --> 01:12:28,843
Uh-huh, mm-hm.
1197
01:12:28,844 --> 01:12:31,346
You walked out
of the restaurant, huh?
1198
01:12:31,347 --> 01:12:33,014
Sloan makes you an offer
1199
01:12:33,057 --> 01:12:36,809
and you walk out
of the restaurant.
1200
01:12:36,810 --> 01:12:39,395
-Murray--
-Arnie, I can't get over
1201
01:12:39,396 --> 01:12:45,151
this office,
the 22nd floor, whoa!
1202
01:12:45,152 --> 01:12:47,695
Ah, you can see everything!
1203
01:12:49,448 --> 01:12:51,908
Oh, for God's sake,
I don't believe it.
1204
01:12:51,909 --> 01:12:53,826
- What?
- It's King Kong,
1205
01:12:53,827 --> 01:12:56,079
he's sitting on top of
the Time-Life Building,
1206
01:12:56,080 --> 01:13:00,208
seems to be crying,
oh, poor gorilla bastard,
1207
01:13:00,209 --> 01:13:01,918
somebody should've told him
they don't make
1208
01:13:01,919 --> 01:13:03,544
these buildings
the way they used to.
1209
01:13:03,545 --> 01:13:05,713
Murray, Sloan didn't make you
such a bad offer--
1210
01:13:05,714 --> 01:13:07,840
Sloan is an idiot.
1211
01:13:07,841 --> 01:13:10,176
I've got news for you, cookie,
with your situation this week,
1212
01:13:10,177 --> 01:13:12,261
you're gonna need idiots,
now, you do not have the time--
1213
01:13:12,262 --> 01:13:14,055
Now, Arnie,
you shouldn't holler at me,
1214
01:13:14,056 --> 01:13:16,849
- I brought you a present!
- Murray!
1215
01:13:23,107 --> 01:13:25,650
And that other fella
you sent me to
1216
01:13:25,651 --> 01:13:28,111
with the TV series--
a killer, Arnie,
1217
01:13:28,112 --> 01:13:32,365
I saw notches
on his attaché case.
1218
01:13:32,366 --> 01:13:34,909
Murray, you've got
a rotten reputation.
1219
01:13:34,910 --> 01:13:38,454
Even these guys
weren't easy to grab.
1220
01:13:38,455 --> 01:13:40,581
Why do you have to build
your own personal blacklist?
1221
01:13:40,582 --> 01:13:42,792
Why can't you just get
blacklisted as a Communist,
1222
01:13:42,793 --> 01:13:45,753
like everybody else?
1223
01:13:45,754 --> 01:13:48,589
What did you do to him?
1224
01:13:48,590 --> 01:13:51,467
Or you just left him
standing there?
1225
01:13:57,474 --> 01:14:00,601
You just left him
standing there?
1226
01:14:04,231 --> 01:14:07,066
Arnie, Arnie, it was beautiful!
1227
01:14:08,902 --> 01:14:10,528
Oh, I would've loved
to have seen that,
1228
01:14:10,529 --> 01:14:12,947
it must've been great.
1229
01:14:12,948 --> 01:14:18,369
W--what, oh, wish to God
1230
01:14:18,370 --> 01:14:21,247
I didn't enjoy you so much.
1231
01:14:21,248 --> 01:14:24,208
I don't do you any damn good
at all, do I?
1232
01:14:25,961 --> 01:14:27,879
All right, come on, Murray,
no more fun and games
1233
01:14:27,880 --> 01:14:29,505
with Leo, do you understand?
1234
01:14:29,506 --> 01:14:32,675
He's absolutely all we have left
before the hearing Thursday.
1235
01:14:32,676 --> 01:14:34,927
Don't worry, Arn, I figured
I could always go back
1236
01:14:34,928 --> 01:14:36,471
with Chuckles the Chipmunk.
1237
01:14:36,472 --> 01:14:38,556
All right, Murray.
1238
01:14:38,557 --> 01:14:43,352
Margot, get me Leo Herman
on the speakerphone.
1239
01:14:43,353 --> 01:14:46,022
Well, Leo won't be so bad
for a while.
1240
01:14:46,023 --> 01:14:49,400
Oh, Murray, now,
not for a while.
1241
01:14:49,401 --> 01:14:51,068
You're gonna have
to stick with Chuckles.
1242
01:14:51,069 --> 01:14:53,821
Now, my agency lawyer
gave me all the facts.
1243
01:14:53,822 --> 01:14:55,615
The most the board
will allow you
1244
01:14:55,616 --> 01:14:58,534
is a probationary year
with Nick, a trial period,
1245
01:14:58,535 --> 01:15:00,244
and the board's investigators
are going to be
1246
01:15:00,245 --> 01:15:02,997
checking up on you every week,
regularly.
1247
01:15:02,998 --> 01:15:05,374
Checking to see that
you still have your job,
1248
01:15:05,375 --> 01:15:07,710
checking with Leo
on your stability,
1249
01:15:07,711 --> 01:15:10,588
checking up on the improvements
in your home environment.
1250
01:15:13,008 --> 01:15:16,469
Sounds--sounds like
a parole board.
1251
01:15:16,470 --> 01:15:19,263
Yes, it certainly does.
1252
01:15:19,264 --> 01:15:22,391
Kid-a-roonies,
1253
01:15:22,392 --> 01:15:24,769
you take it from your old buddy,
1254
01:15:24,770 --> 01:15:27,271
your old Chipper-munk, Chuckles.
1255
01:15:27,272 --> 01:15:30,316
If your get-up-and-go
has got up and left,
1256
01:15:30,317 --> 01:15:33,361
just one ten-cent bag
of these Crispy Chuckle Chips
1257
01:15:33,362 --> 01:15:35,321
will give you that
1258
01:15:35,322 --> 01:15:38,741
"barrel of monkeys boat is
never sunky" feeling again.
1259
01:15:38,742 --> 01:15:43,162
- What do you say, kids?
- Yay!
1260
01:15:43,163 --> 01:15:45,289
George, is that a "yay"?
1261
01:15:45,290 --> 01:15:47,291
What kind of a "yay" is that?
1262
01:15:47,292 --> 01:15:50,086
I ask for a "yay,"
you give me a death rattle.
1263
01:15:50,087 --> 01:15:51,712
Come on, look, if you're gonna
rehearse a "yay,"
1264
01:15:51,713 --> 01:15:53,256
rehearse a "yay."
1265
01:15:53,257 --> 01:15:54,674
Okay, let's have it again, kids.
1266
01:15:54,675 --> 01:15:56,551
Yay!
1267
01:15:56,552 --> 01:15:59,971
Death. we're dying.
1268
01:15:59,972 --> 01:16:01,931
With that kind of a "yay,"
the show is dying.
1269
01:16:01,974 --> 01:16:03,891
That's why the show is dying,
the kids don't have
1270
01:16:03,892 --> 01:16:05,643
a "yay" attitude.
1271
01:16:05,644 --> 01:16:09,522
Dead-dying dead, death,
dying dead.
1272
01:16:09,523 --> 01:16:11,607
- Call for you, Mr. Herman.
- what is that?
1273
01:16:11,608 --> 01:16:15,319
It's a telephone,
Arnold Burns' office calling.
1274
01:16:15,320 --> 01:16:17,446
Great, wonderful, wonderful.
1275
01:16:17,447 --> 01:16:19,699
Hello, Arnie.
Here I am, here he is!
1276
01:16:19,700 --> 01:16:21,534
You got my voice coming out
of that speakerphone
1277
01:16:21,535 --> 01:16:23,703
in your office right,
am I coming through?
1278
01:16:23,704 --> 01:16:26,372
- Am I coming through there?
- Clearly, Leo.
1279
01:16:26,373 --> 01:16:28,583
- Murray's here.
- Murray, Murray,
1280
01:16:28,584 --> 01:16:31,127
the wonderful wild man!
1281
01:16:31,128 --> 01:16:34,422
Hey, kid-a-roonies, looks like
your old Uncle Murray's
1282
01:16:34,423 --> 01:16:36,757
coming back to write
some of those wonderful
1283
01:16:36,758 --> 01:16:38,968
script-a-roonies for us again.
1284
01:16:38,969 --> 01:16:40,803
What do you say, kids?
1285
01:16:40,804 --> 01:16:42,430
Yay!
1286
01:16:44,016 --> 01:16:46,976
Murray, what did you do,
the job,
1287
01:16:46,977 --> 01:16:48,644
the hearing, what--
1288
01:17:00,949 --> 01:17:03,951
♪ Dah-dah, dah-dah-dah-bum ♪
1289
01:17:03,952 --> 01:17:07,663
♪ Dah-dah, dah-dah-dah-dum ♪
1290
01:17:36,777 --> 01:17:38,944
well, say, did you do all this?
1291
01:17:38,945 --> 01:17:41,405
Yeah, Nick, do you like it?
1292
01:17:41,406 --> 01:17:43,366
Well, I think it's superb.
1293
01:17:43,367 --> 01:17:47,370
I mean, imagine my surprise
when I saw it.
1294
01:17:47,371 --> 01:17:49,955
Murray went downtown
to see your Uncle Arnold,
1295
01:17:49,956 --> 01:17:53,376
- he's going to get a job!
- No kidding!
1296
01:17:53,377 --> 01:17:57,171
Hey, that's terrific,
that's just terrific!
1297
01:17:57,172 --> 01:18:01,300
See, lady, he was developing
into a bum.
1298
01:18:01,301 --> 01:18:03,302
I mean, you don't want to see
someone you like
1299
01:18:03,303 --> 01:18:06,597
developing into a bum
and doing nutty things.
1300
01:18:06,598 --> 01:18:08,641
You know what he does?
1301
01:18:08,642 --> 01:18:10,768
He hollers.
1302
01:18:10,769 --> 01:18:13,771
Like, we were on Park Avenue
last Sunday
1303
01:18:13,772 --> 01:18:15,564
and it's very early
in the morning,
1304
01:18:15,565 --> 01:18:17,233
there's no one in the streets,
see,
1305
01:18:17,234 --> 01:18:20,403
just all these big,
quiet apartment houses,
1306
01:18:20,404 --> 01:18:25,324
and he hollers,
"Rich people, I want to see you
1307
01:18:25,325 --> 01:18:28,035
all out on the street
for volleyball,
1308
01:18:28,036 --> 01:18:30,454
let's snap it up!"
1309
01:18:30,455 --> 01:18:31,914
And, you know,
sometimes if we were in
1310
01:18:31,915 --> 01:18:34,083
a crowded elevator someplace,
1311
01:18:34,084 --> 01:18:35,501
he'll turn to me
and he'll say,
1312
01:18:35,502 --> 01:18:40,881
"Max, there'll be no more
of this self-pity.
1313
01:18:40,882 --> 01:18:42,466
Now, you're 40.
1314
01:18:42,467 --> 01:18:46,262
It's time you got used
to being a midget."
1315
01:18:46,263 --> 01:18:48,597
And everybody stares.
1316
01:18:48,640 --> 01:18:50,850
He has a wonderful time.
1317
01:18:50,851 --> 01:18:54,687
What are you gonna do with
someone who hollers like that?
1318
01:18:54,688 --> 01:18:58,065
You know, last week in Macy's
he did that.
1319
01:18:58,066 --> 01:19:01,318
Well, if you want
to know the truth, lady,
1320
01:19:01,319 --> 01:19:03,529
that was pretty funny.
1321
01:19:12,289 --> 01:19:16,375
I think you're a very nice lady.
1322
01:19:16,376 --> 01:19:18,169
What do you think of me?
1323
01:19:18,170 --> 01:19:21,088
Oh, I think
you're very nice also.
1324
01:19:21,089 --> 01:19:22,506
You know, a very nice quality
1325
01:19:22,507 --> 01:19:24,258
you have is that
you're a good listener,
1326
01:19:24,259 --> 01:19:27,928
which is important to me
because of how much I talk.
1327
01:19:27,929 --> 01:19:30,097
Hey, you are laugher,
aren't you, lady?
1328
01:19:30,140 --> 01:19:32,558
- I guess so, Nick.
- Yeah.
1329
01:19:35,645 --> 01:19:38,272
Would you like some fruit?
1330
01:19:38,273 --> 01:19:39,690
We got lots of fruit.
1331
01:19:39,691 --> 01:19:43,194
Oh, no thank you, Nick.
1332
01:19:43,195 --> 01:19:44,862
If you'd like to call
your mother or someone,
1333
01:19:44,863 --> 01:19:49,074
please feel free
to use the telephone.
1334
01:19:49,075 --> 01:19:51,660
Or my desk, if you want
to read a book or something.
1335
01:19:53,497 --> 01:19:54,997
Or any of the chairs.
1336
01:19:54,998 --> 01:19:58,334
Oh, I will, thank you, Nick.
1337
01:19:58,335 --> 01:20:00,169
'Kay.
1338
01:20:04,508 --> 01:20:06,717
Well, you gonna be
1339
01:20:06,718 --> 01:20:09,720
staying around
here for a while?
1340
01:20:09,721 --> 01:20:12,723
I might, yes, yes.
1341
01:20:14,726 --> 01:20:16,560
Uh-huh.
1342
01:20:25,403 --> 01:20:29,490
Well, good luck to you, lady.
1343
01:20:29,491 --> 01:20:34,328
Murray, what a nice
suit you've bought!
1344
01:20:34,329 --> 01:20:37,248
Hi, how is everything?
1345
01:20:37,249 --> 01:20:38,332
Which job did you get?
1346
01:20:38,333 --> 01:20:41,335
Uh--still going good, Violet?
1347
01:20:41,336 --> 01:20:43,546
Oh, marvelous.
1348
01:20:43,547 --> 01:20:46,131
- She's in the third month.
- Oh, pregnant?
1349
01:20:46,132 --> 01:20:49,718
- No, unemployment insurance.
- Don't keep me in suspense,
1350
01:20:49,719 --> 01:20:51,387
which job did you get?
1351
01:20:51,388 --> 01:20:54,098
I shall now leave you breathless
1352
01:20:54,140 --> 01:20:56,725
with the strange
and wondrous tale
1353
01:20:56,726 --> 01:21:01,146
of this sturdy lad's adventures
today in downtown Oz.
1354
01:21:01,147 --> 01:21:03,148
Now, picture, if you will, me.
1355
01:21:03,149 --> 01:21:06,569
I am walking on East 51st Street
about an hour ago,
1356
01:21:06,570 --> 01:21:09,154
practicing how
to say "I am sorry"
1357
01:21:09,155 --> 01:21:10,906
with a little style.
1358
01:21:10,907 --> 01:21:13,158
- Sorry for what?
- Oh, for anything,
1359
01:21:13,159 --> 01:21:16,579
just rehearsing--
well, you know how it is
1360
01:21:16,580 --> 01:21:17,997
when you're walking down
the street talking to yourself
1361
01:21:17,998 --> 01:21:20,833
how suddenly you say
something out loud?
1362
01:21:20,834 --> 01:21:24,336
So I said, "I'm sorry,"
and this fella coming by,
1363
01:21:24,337 --> 01:21:26,338
a complete stranger,
he looks up a second
1364
01:21:26,339 --> 01:21:27,756
and he says,
"That's all right, Mac,"
1365
01:21:27,757 --> 01:21:29,967
and he goes right on.
1366
01:21:29,968 --> 01:21:33,387
He automatically forgave me,
I communicated.
1367
01:21:33,388 --> 01:21:35,347
Now, five o'clock rush hour
in midtown you could say,
1368
01:21:35,390 --> 01:21:36,974
"Sir, I believe
your hair is on fire,"
1369
01:21:36,975 --> 01:21:39,059
and they wouldn't
even hear you, so--
1370
01:21:39,060 --> 01:21:42,479
I decided to test the whole
thing out scientifically.
1371
01:21:42,480 --> 01:21:45,232
I just stood there on the corner
of 51st and Lex
1372
01:21:45,233 --> 01:21:48,819
saying "I'm sorry"
to everybody that came by.
1373
01:21:48,820 --> 01:21:52,406
"I am so sorry, sir--
I'm terribly sorry, madam.
1374
01:21:52,407 --> 01:21:54,825
Say there, miss, I'm sorry."
1375
01:21:54,826 --> 01:21:56,660
Of course I got
a few funny looks,
1376
01:21:56,661 --> 01:21:58,078
but I swear, Sandy,
1377
01:21:58,079 --> 01:22:01,665
75 percent of 'em forgave me.
1378
01:22:01,666 --> 01:22:03,834
Something had happened
to all them for which they felt
1379
01:22:03,835 --> 01:22:06,253
somebody should apologize.
1380
01:22:06,254 --> 01:22:10,424
It was fabulous, I had tapped
some vast reservoir.
1381
01:22:10,425 --> 01:22:12,051
I just said "I'm sorry"
1382
01:22:12,052 --> 01:22:14,887
and they were all
so generous, so kind.
1383
01:22:14,888 --> 01:22:16,889
-Murray--
-Yeah, Sandy,
1384
01:22:16,890 --> 01:22:20,726
I could run up on the roof
right now and holler "I'm sorry"
1385
01:22:20,727 --> 01:22:23,145
and a half a million people
would holler back,
1386
01:22:23,146 --> 01:22:27,650
"That's okay, just see
you don't do it again!"
1387
01:22:27,651 --> 01:22:31,654
Murray, you didn't
take any of the jobs.
1388
01:22:31,655 --> 01:22:33,864
Sandy, I, uh--
1389
01:22:35,492 --> 01:22:37,701
I'm sorry.
1390
01:22:38,912 --> 01:22:41,914
I'm very sorry.
1391
01:22:44,084 --> 01:22:47,920
Well, dammit, lady,
that was a beautiful apology.
1392
01:22:47,921 --> 01:22:50,923
I mean, you gotta love a guy
who can apologize so nice.
1393
01:22:50,924 --> 01:22:54,510
I rehearsed it for over an hour.
1394
01:22:54,511 --> 01:22:57,513
Aw, Sandy.
1395
01:22:57,514 --> 01:23:00,683
That's the most
you should expect from life.
1396
01:23:00,684 --> 01:23:02,685
A really good apology
1397
01:23:02,686 --> 01:23:06,772
for all the things
you won't get.
1398
01:23:06,773 --> 01:23:09,942
Oh, Murray, I don't understand.
1399
01:23:09,943 --> 01:23:12,528
What happens to Nick,
what about the welfare board?
1400
01:23:12,529 --> 01:23:14,613
-Well, Sandy--
-Murray, if you didn't like
1401
01:23:14,614 --> 01:23:17,241
the jobs here
your brother found for you,
1402
01:23:17,242 --> 01:23:21,078
- then take any job.
- Sandy, it isn't the job.
1403
01:23:21,079 --> 01:23:25,582
Well, I have had no effect
on you at all.
1404
01:23:25,583 --> 01:23:27,918
I've made no difference.
1405
01:23:27,919 --> 01:23:32,548
Sandy, you are
a cute, jolly lady.
1406
01:23:32,549 --> 01:23:35,718
Sandy, hey--
1407
01:23:35,719 --> 01:23:39,138
there's a great
sailing tomorrow.
1408
01:23:39,139 --> 01:23:43,142
The embarkation of the season--
1409
01:23:43,143 --> 01:23:46,770
53rd Street dock at 1:00,
1410
01:23:46,771 --> 01:23:50,607
the Montana Maru,
Pearl of the Atlantic.
1411
01:23:50,608 --> 01:23:55,446
Bound for Europe,
Khorramshahr,
1412
01:23:55,447 --> 01:24:00,451
Sumatra and Beirut
and points east.
1413
01:24:00,452 --> 01:24:02,870
We'll stand on the dock
and watch it go.
1414
01:24:02,871 --> 01:24:06,707
Oh, gives you
the genuine feeling
1415
01:24:06,708 --> 01:24:08,917
of a beginning, I think.
1416
01:24:08,918 --> 01:24:11,086
Hey, bon voyage, Charlie,
1417
01:24:11,087 --> 01:24:13,922
have a wonderful time!
1418
01:24:17,927 --> 01:24:20,763
I can see why
Nick liked it here.
1419
01:24:20,764 --> 01:24:24,099
I would like it too,
if I was 12 years old.
1420
01:24:28,772 --> 01:24:30,981
Hey, stick with me,
Dr. Markowitz,
1421
01:24:30,982 --> 01:24:32,399
you know, anything can happen
1422
01:24:32,400 --> 01:24:35,402
above an abandoned
Chinese restaurant.
1423
01:24:40,408 --> 01:24:43,619
Oh, there are so many
really attractive things
1424
01:24:43,620 --> 01:24:46,830
that you can do
with a one-room apartment,
1425
01:24:46,831 --> 01:24:50,375
if you're willing
to use your imagination.
1426
01:24:52,378 --> 01:24:55,214
Bye, Murray.
1427
01:25:06,893 --> 01:25:08,811
You forgot your files!
1428
01:25:08,812 --> 01:25:12,564
Hey, dammit,
you forgot your files.
1429
01:25:18,446 --> 01:25:21,615
I've been attacked
by the Ladies' Home Journal.
1430
01:25:23,451 --> 01:25:26,787
Place has
an unusual quality now,
1431
01:25:26,788 --> 01:25:28,997
kind of fun Gothic.
1432
01:25:35,213 --> 01:25:38,632
Where's my eagle?
1433
01:25:38,633 --> 01:25:43,303
Well, what have we got here,
Sunnybrook Farm?
1434
01:26:12,667 --> 01:26:14,877
Ah.
1435
01:26:20,300 --> 01:26:23,802
Everybody on stage for
the Hawaiian number, please!
1436
01:26:52,832 --> 01:26:54,833
-Hey--
-Okay.
1437
01:26:54,834 --> 01:26:56,752
Takes me an hour
to get insulted,
1438
01:26:56,753 --> 01:26:59,588
now I'm insulted.
1439
01:26:59,589 --> 01:27:01,798
You walked out of my office.
1440
01:27:01,799 --> 01:27:05,636
That wasn't a nice thing
to do to me, Murray.
1441
01:27:05,637 --> 01:27:09,598
I mean, you come to my office
today like George God,
1442
01:27:09,641 --> 01:27:11,183
everybody's supposed
to come up and audition
1443
01:27:11,184 --> 01:27:13,644
for human being
in front of you.
1444
01:27:13,645 --> 01:27:17,481
I called Leo back, I apologized,
I told him the phone broke down.
1445
01:27:17,482 --> 01:27:19,900
Everything is going to be fine.
1446
01:27:19,901 --> 01:27:22,903
Arnie, you said I insulted you.
1447
01:27:22,904 --> 01:27:25,906
Well, dammit, get angry!
1448
01:27:25,907 --> 01:27:29,660
Come on, raise your voice,
at least your eyebrows!
1449
01:27:29,661 --> 01:27:32,537
Please, please,
have an argument with me.
1450
01:27:32,538 --> 01:27:35,165
Murray, you're just
getting excited, that's all.
1451
01:27:35,166 --> 01:27:37,167
Now, look, I've got Leo
to come over,
1452
01:27:37,168 --> 01:27:39,586
he's gonna see you tonight,
everything is gonna
1453
01:27:39,587 --> 01:27:41,088
turn out fine, you'll see.
1454
01:27:41,089 --> 01:27:42,506
- Arnie, will you forget that?
- Just fine!
1455
01:27:42,507 --> 01:27:44,508
- Will you forget it?
- Look, if--
1456
01:27:44,509 --> 01:27:45,926
If you love Nick
1457
01:27:45,927 --> 01:27:48,178
or whoever it is
he's calling himself this week,
1458
01:27:48,179 --> 01:27:52,766
you have got to take any kind
of a stupid job to keep him.
1459
01:27:52,767 --> 01:27:55,602
Now, I even thought maybe
Shirley and me would take him,
1460
01:27:55,603 --> 01:27:58,772
but you know, our three kids,
she'd go crazy.
1461
01:27:58,773 --> 01:28:01,191
Aw, don't worry, Arnie.
1462
01:28:01,192 --> 01:28:03,944
This welfare crowd,
they know what they're doing.
1463
01:28:03,945 --> 01:28:06,780
They'll put Nick
with a good family.
1464
01:28:06,781 --> 01:28:08,615
Yup.
1465
01:28:08,616 --> 01:28:11,034
Murray, I finally
figured out your problem.
1466
01:28:11,035 --> 01:28:15,455
There is only one thing
that really bothers you--
1467
01:28:15,456 --> 01:28:17,207
other people.
1468
01:28:17,208 --> 01:28:18,875
The enemy.
1469
01:28:18,876 --> 01:28:22,087
Watch out, Murray,
they're everywhere.
1470
01:28:22,088 --> 01:28:23,922
Go ahead, Arnold,
give me advice.
1471
01:28:23,923 --> 01:28:26,133
At 30,000 a year,
you can afford it.
1472
01:28:26,134 --> 01:28:29,553
Oh, I get it, if I'm so smart,
why ain't I poor?
1473
01:28:29,554 --> 01:28:31,221
Well, you better get
a damn good act of your own,
1474
01:28:31,222 --> 01:28:33,015
buddy, before you start
giving mine the raspberry.
1475
01:28:33,057 --> 01:28:35,142
What's this game
you play gonna be like
1476
01:28:35,143 --> 01:28:36,893
in ten years without youth?
1477
01:28:36,894 --> 01:28:40,564
Murray, I can't watch this--
You've gotta shape up.
1478
01:28:40,565 --> 01:28:43,567
- Shape up?
- That's right, shape up.
1479
01:28:43,568 --> 01:28:47,154
Arnie, what the hell
happened to you?
1480
01:28:47,155 --> 01:28:50,282
You got so old,
I don't know you anymore.
1481
01:28:50,283 --> 01:28:52,576
Who is it?
1482
01:28:52,577 --> 01:28:57,205
When you quit Harry the Fur King
on 28th Street, remember?
1483
01:28:57,206 --> 01:28:59,416
- That's 20 years ago, Murray.
- Ah--
1484
01:28:59,417 --> 01:29:01,752
Harry said you
weren't behaving
1485
01:29:01,753 --> 01:29:03,920
maturely enough for a salesman.
1486
01:29:03,921 --> 01:29:07,090
Your clothes didn't match
or something,
1487
01:29:07,091 --> 01:29:10,719
so the next day
you dressed perfectly.
1488
01:29:10,720 --> 01:29:12,721
Homburg, gray suit, cufflinks,
1489
01:29:12,722 --> 01:29:14,931
carrying a briefcase
and a rolled umbrella,
1490
01:29:14,974 --> 01:29:17,976
and you came into Harry's office
on roller skates!
1491
01:29:19,812 --> 01:29:21,229
Where did they go, Arnie?
1492
01:29:21,230 --> 01:29:23,648
What happened
to your roller skates?
1493
01:29:23,649 --> 01:29:25,567
Well, I don't do
practical jokes anymore,
1494
01:29:25,568 --> 01:29:28,195
- if that's what you mean.
- Practical, that's right.
1495
01:29:28,196 --> 01:29:31,948
A way to stay alive.
1496
01:29:31,949 --> 01:29:34,451
Gee, if most things
aren't funny, Arn,
1497
01:29:34,452 --> 01:29:37,454
then they're only
exactly what they are.
1498
01:29:37,455 --> 01:29:39,623
Then it's just one
long dental appointment
1499
01:29:39,624 --> 01:29:42,042
interrupted occasionally
by something exciting
1500
01:29:42,043 --> 01:29:45,045
like waiting or falling asleep.
1501
01:29:45,046 --> 01:29:46,296
What's the point
if I leave things
1502
01:29:46,297 --> 01:29:47,923
just the way I find 'em?
1503
01:29:47,924 --> 01:29:49,549
Then I'm just
adding to the noise,
1504
01:29:49,550 --> 01:29:51,760
I'm just taking up
some more room on the subway.
1505
01:29:51,761 --> 01:29:54,930
Murray, the welfare board
has these specifications.
1506
01:29:54,931 --> 01:29:57,766
All you have to do
is to make up your mind--
1507
01:29:57,767 --> 01:29:58,975
- Arnie, you don't...
- Murray, I--
1508
01:29:58,976 --> 01:30:00,602
...understand anymore.
1509
01:30:00,603 --> 01:30:03,939
You've got that wide stare
that people stick in their eyes
1510
01:30:03,940 --> 01:30:07,067
so nobody'll know
their head's asleep.
1511
01:30:07,068 --> 01:30:10,654
Gee--to be a moaner,
a shuffler.
1512
01:30:10,655 --> 01:30:12,989
You want me to come,
sit and eat fruit with you
1513
01:30:12,990 --> 01:30:14,991
and watch the clock run out.
1514
01:30:14,992 --> 01:30:17,994
You start to drag and stumble
under the rotten weight
1515
01:30:17,995 --> 01:30:20,664
of all the people
who shoulda been told off.
1516
01:30:20,665 --> 01:30:23,250
All of the things
you should have said,
1517
01:30:23,251 --> 01:30:25,752
all the specifications
1518
01:30:25,753 --> 01:30:28,255
that aren't yours.
1519
01:30:28,256 --> 01:30:30,257
You know, the only thing
you got left to reject
1520
01:30:30,258 --> 01:30:32,426
is your food in a restaurant
if they do it wrong,
1521
01:30:32,427 --> 01:30:35,095
you can send it back and make
a big fuss with the waiter.
1522
01:30:37,390 --> 01:30:42,102
Five months ago, I was
on a subway on my way to work.
1523
01:30:42,103 --> 01:30:44,938
I was sitting on an express,
same as every morning,
1524
01:30:44,939 --> 01:30:46,565
looking out the window,
1525
01:30:46,566 --> 01:30:49,568
watching the local stops
go by in the dark
1526
01:30:49,569 --> 01:30:52,779
with an empty head
and my arms folded.
1527
01:30:52,780 --> 01:30:57,617
Not feeling great,
not feeling rotten.
1528
01:30:57,618 --> 01:31:02,456
Just not feeling.
1529
01:31:02,457 --> 01:31:05,959
And for a minute
I couldn't remember,
1530
01:31:05,960 --> 01:31:08,211
I didn't know unless
1531
01:31:08,212 --> 01:31:11,465
I really concentrated
1532
01:31:11,466 --> 01:31:14,092
whether it was a Tuesday
1533
01:31:14,093 --> 01:31:16,678
or a Thursday or...
1534
01:31:18,681 --> 01:31:21,099
For a minute,
1535
01:31:21,100 --> 01:31:23,768
it could have
been any day, Arn.
1536
01:31:23,769 --> 01:31:27,355
I gotta know what day it is.
1537
01:31:27,356 --> 01:31:29,691
I gotta know what's
the name of the game,
1538
01:31:29,692 --> 01:31:33,278
and what the rules are
without anyone else telling me.
1539
01:31:33,279 --> 01:31:36,865
You gotta own your own days
and name 'em.
1540
01:31:36,866 --> 01:31:39,451
Each one of 'em,
every one of 'em.
1541
01:31:39,494 --> 01:31:42,662
Or else the years go right by
1542
01:31:42,663 --> 01:31:46,500
and none of them belong to you.
1543
01:31:46,501 --> 01:31:52,339
And that ain't just
for weekends, kiddo.
1544
01:31:52,340 --> 01:31:54,925
Well, here it is,
1545
01:31:54,926 --> 01:31:57,719
the day after
Irving R. Feldman's birthday
1546
01:31:57,720 --> 01:31:59,137
and I never even
congratulated him.
1547
01:31:59,138 --> 01:32:01,348
Murray.
1548
01:32:02,350 --> 01:32:04,351
Ooh.
1549
01:32:05,853 --> 01:32:07,062
Well, what's so funny?
1550
01:32:07,063 --> 01:32:09,898
I scared myself.
1551
01:32:12,485 --> 01:32:15,487
Murray, I've long been aware...
1552
01:32:17,823 --> 01:32:20,825
I've long been aware that
you don't respect me so much.
1553
01:32:20,826 --> 01:32:23,578
Ah, I suppose there
are a lot of brothers
1554
01:32:23,579 --> 01:32:26,164
who don't get along, but...
1555
01:32:26,165 --> 01:32:28,583
in reference to us
1556
01:32:28,584 --> 01:32:31,419
and considering the factors,
1557
01:32:31,420 --> 01:32:33,421
sounds like a contract,
doesn't it.
1558
01:32:35,508 --> 01:32:39,678
Unfortunately for you, Murray,
you wanna be a hero.
1559
01:32:39,679 --> 01:32:42,097
If maybe a fella falls into
the lake you can jump in
1560
01:32:42,098 --> 01:32:44,474
and save him, there's still
that kind of stuff.
1561
01:32:44,517 --> 01:32:47,727
But who gets opportunities
like that in Midtown Manhattan
1562
01:32:47,728 --> 01:32:51,481
with all that traffic?
1563
01:32:51,482 --> 01:32:53,483
I'm willing to deal
with the available world,
1564
01:32:53,484 --> 01:32:56,903
I don't choose to shake it up
but to live with it.
1565
01:32:56,904 --> 01:32:58,655
There's the people
who spill things
1566
01:32:58,656 --> 01:33:00,490
and there's the people
who get spilled on,
1567
01:33:00,491 --> 01:33:02,325
and I don't choose
to notice the stains.
1568
01:33:02,326 --> 01:33:05,328
I have a wife, I have children,
1569
01:33:05,329 --> 01:33:09,332
and business,
like they say, is business.
1570
01:33:09,333 --> 01:33:12,335
I'm not an exceptional man,
so it's possible for me
1571
01:33:12,336 --> 01:33:15,422
to stay with things
the way they are.
1572
01:33:15,423 --> 01:33:19,426
I'm lucky. I'm gifted.
1573
01:33:19,427 --> 01:33:22,512
I have a talent for surrender,
and I'm at peace.
1574
01:33:22,513 --> 01:33:24,556
But you?
1575
01:33:24,557 --> 01:33:26,766
Oh, you're cursed.
1576
01:33:26,767 --> 01:33:30,770
And I like you, Murray.
1577
01:33:30,771 --> 01:33:32,355
So it makes me sad.
1578
01:33:32,356 --> 01:33:35,942
You don't have the gift
and I can see the torture of it.
1579
01:33:35,943 --> 01:33:38,361
All I can do is worry for you,
1580
01:33:38,362 --> 01:33:40,530
but I will not worry for myself.
1581
01:33:40,531 --> 01:33:43,366
You can't convince me
that I'm one of the bad guys.
1582
01:33:43,367 --> 01:33:47,996
I get up, I go,
I lie a little,
1583
01:33:47,997 --> 01:33:51,249
I peddle a little,
I watch the rules,
1584
01:33:51,250 --> 01:33:52,751
I talk the talk.
1585
01:33:52,752 --> 01:33:55,086
We fellows have those offices
high up there
1586
01:33:55,087 --> 01:33:59,257
so that we can catch the wind
and go with it however it blows.
1587
01:33:59,258 --> 01:34:03,595
But, and I'm not
gonna apologize for it--
1588
01:34:03,596 --> 01:34:06,181
I take pride.
1589
01:34:06,182 --> 01:34:10,602
I am the best possible
Arnold Burns.
1590
01:34:17,568 --> 01:34:19,569
Give my regards
to Irving R. Feldman, will you?
1591
01:34:19,570 --> 01:34:21,404
-Hey, Arnie--
-Murray, please allow me,
1592
01:34:21,405 --> 01:34:24,032
once, to leave
a room before you do.
1593
01:34:37,463 --> 01:34:40,674
Hey, Murray, watch it!
1594
01:34:40,675 --> 01:34:43,259
Yeah, it's okay now.
1595
01:34:49,266 --> 01:34:52,268
- Hey, that's great, Murray.
- Hiya, Nick.
1596
01:34:52,269 --> 01:34:54,479
You don't give it enough play,
it goes into a dive.
1597
01:34:54,480 --> 01:34:56,231
Let's go downstairs.
1598
01:34:56,232 --> 01:34:58,233
- Murray.
- I wanna talk to you.
1599
01:34:58,234 --> 01:35:01,236
This afternoon in school,
I made a decision.
1600
01:35:01,237 --> 01:35:03,988
Right in the middle
of creative geography class,
1601
01:35:03,989 --> 01:35:06,574
I decided that since
you were getting a job today,
1602
01:35:06,575 --> 01:35:08,410
then I made up my mind
it was time for me
1603
01:35:08,411 --> 01:35:11,246
also to finish a certain matter
which I've been putting off.
1604
01:35:12,581 --> 01:35:13,998
See, for the past
couple of months
1605
01:35:13,999 --> 01:35:15,750
I've been considering
different names,
1606
01:35:15,751 --> 01:35:17,752
'cause in four weeks
I am gonna be 13
1607
01:35:17,753 --> 01:35:20,755
and I've gotta pick my permanent
first name like you said.
1608
01:35:22,383 --> 01:35:24,384
You should just go on
calling yourself Nick,
1609
01:35:24,385 --> 01:35:26,386
you've been using
that one the longest.
1610
01:35:26,387 --> 01:35:29,556
Well, Nick is a name
for a short person.
1611
01:35:29,557 --> 01:35:31,516
Since I'm a short person,
I don't believe
1612
01:35:31,517 --> 01:35:33,935
I should put
a lot of attention on it.
1613
01:35:33,936 --> 01:35:36,771
What do you mean, where'd you
get the idea you were short?
1614
01:35:36,772 --> 01:35:38,940
From people who
are taller than I am.
1615
01:35:38,941 --> 01:35:42,152
That is ridiculous.
1616
01:35:42,153 --> 01:35:46,698
Sure, up there it's ridiculous.
1617
01:35:46,699 --> 01:35:49,993
But from down here where I am,
it's not so ridiculous.
1618
01:35:55,082 --> 01:35:59,919
You know, half the girls
in my class are taller than me.
1619
01:36:02,089 --> 01:36:04,758
'Specially Susan Bookwalter.
1620
01:36:04,759 --> 01:36:07,385
Nick, you happen to be
1621
01:36:07,386 --> 01:36:10,180
a nice medium height
for your age.
1622
01:36:10,181 --> 01:36:13,433
So how is it everybody
crouches over when I'm around?
1623
01:36:13,434 --> 01:36:15,435
Because you're a kid.
1624
01:36:15,436 --> 01:36:18,438
Look, you come from
a fairly tall family,
1625
01:36:18,439 --> 01:36:20,857
next couple years,
you're gonna grow like crazy.
1626
01:36:20,858 --> 01:36:23,276
Really, every day
you're getting bigger.
1627
01:36:23,277 --> 01:36:26,112
But so is Susan Bookwalter.
1628
01:36:29,700 --> 01:36:31,201
So, for a couple of months,
1629
01:36:31,202 --> 01:36:33,703
I've been considering
various tall names.
1630
01:36:33,704 --> 01:36:35,705
Then I though about
just picking any name,
1631
01:36:35,706 --> 01:36:36,915
putting "Captain"
in front of it,
1632
01:36:36,916 --> 01:36:38,917
sort of jack it up a little.
1633
01:36:38,918 --> 01:36:43,129
But I really didn't
like that, either.
1634
01:36:43,130 --> 01:36:46,132
But then...
1635
01:36:46,133 --> 01:36:49,886
last week I finally
am really decided,
1636
01:36:49,887 --> 01:36:52,096
and I took out
a new library card
1637
01:36:52,097 --> 01:36:54,933
to see how it looks.
1638
01:36:54,934 --> 01:36:59,604
And today, I figured I'd make
it definite and official.
1639
01:37:03,150 --> 01:37:05,151
That's my library card.
1640
01:37:05,152 --> 01:37:07,779
Well, no, that's
the whole thing, it's mine.
1641
01:37:07,780 --> 01:37:10,406
Well, this says
"Murray Burns" on it.
1642
01:37:10,407 --> 01:37:12,575
Well, yeah, that's
the name that I picked.
1643
01:37:12,576 --> 01:37:14,202
So I took out a new card
to see how it looks
1644
01:37:14,203 --> 01:37:16,371
and make it official.
1645
01:37:19,124 --> 01:37:21,960
Hey, Murray, baby, don't jump.
1646
01:37:21,961 --> 01:37:26,589
Hey, fella, don't jump,
I'll meet ya inside.
1647
01:37:26,590 --> 01:37:27,924
Hey, it's Mr. Herman.
1648
01:37:27,925 --> 01:37:30,134
Oh, that's the job
you took, huh?
1649
01:37:31,345 --> 01:37:34,764
Ma!
1650
01:37:34,765 --> 01:37:37,600
Hey, Ma!
1651
01:37:41,438 --> 01:37:44,274
There he is,
there's the old monkey,
1652
01:37:44,275 --> 01:37:47,944
- there's the old joker.
- There he is, lay off it.
1653
01:37:47,945 --> 01:37:50,363
There he is,
there's the little guy.
1654
01:37:50,364 --> 01:37:52,532
Look at him, little guy.
1655
01:37:52,533 --> 01:37:55,952
I got a Chuckle statue for you.
1656
01:37:55,953 --> 01:37:58,788
Well, thank you, Mr. Herman.
1657
01:37:58,789 --> 01:38:02,876
Imagine how pleased
I am to receive it.
1658
01:38:02,877 --> 01:38:06,880
It's a very artistic statue,
and very good cardboard, too.
1659
01:38:06,881 --> 01:38:08,715
And I got a Chuckle cap for you,
1660
01:38:08,716 --> 01:38:10,466
just like
the old chipmunk wears.
1661
01:38:10,467 --> 01:38:13,052
- Thank you.
- Oop.
1662
01:38:14,054 --> 01:38:16,264
Thank you.
1663
01:38:16,265 --> 01:38:17,640
You're wearing
the Chuckle's hat,
1664
01:38:17,683 --> 01:38:20,268
you gotta say
the Chuckle's hello.
1665
01:38:20,269 --> 01:38:22,270
The what?
1666
01:38:22,271 --> 01:38:24,439
Chip-chip-chippermonkey?
1667
01:38:24,440 --> 01:38:26,649
Oh, yeah, sure.
1668
01:38:26,650 --> 01:38:29,277
Chip-chip-chippermonkey!
1669
01:38:31,488 --> 01:38:32,822
May I know your first name?
1670
01:38:32,823 --> 01:38:34,574
It's Nick most of the time.
1671
01:38:34,575 --> 01:38:36,784
Most of the time?
1672
01:38:36,785 --> 01:38:38,786
Look what I got here,
two big bags
1673
01:38:38,787 --> 01:38:42,540
of Chuckle Chip
potato chips, eh?
1674
01:38:42,541 --> 01:38:44,542
Nicky, you wanna put
these crispy chips
1675
01:38:44,543 --> 01:38:46,127
in a bowl or something for us?
1676
01:38:46,128 --> 01:38:47,629
- Okay.
- Yeah, and take your time,
1677
01:38:47,630 --> 01:38:49,422
Nick, 'cause your uncle
and me got some--
1678
01:38:49,423 --> 01:38:52,050
we got some grown-up
talking to do, okay--
1679
01:38:52,051 --> 01:38:53,676
The kid hates me.
1680
01:38:53,677 --> 01:38:55,345
I didn't go over
very well with him,
1681
01:38:55,346 --> 01:38:57,096
I pushed a little too hard.
1682
01:38:57,097 --> 01:39:00,099
- Nice kid, Murray.
- Yeah, how are your kids, Leo?
1683
01:39:00,100 --> 01:39:02,310
Fine, fine, but I swear to God,
even they don't like
1684
01:39:02,311 --> 01:39:03,811
my show since
you stopped writing it.
1685
01:39:03,812 --> 01:39:06,481
My youngest one,
my six-year-old...
1686
01:39:07,900 --> 01:39:10,318
- Ralphie.
- Ralphie,
1687
01:39:10,319 --> 01:39:13,488
watches the Funny Bunny show
every morning now instead of me.
1688
01:39:13,489 --> 01:39:17,033
Oh, have I been bombing out
on the show every morning.
1689
01:39:17,034 --> 01:39:18,701
You know what it feels like
to bomb out
1690
01:39:18,702 --> 01:39:20,703
in front of children--
You flop out in front of kids,
1691
01:39:20,704 --> 01:39:23,039
Murray, I swear to God,
they're ready to kill ya.
1692
01:39:23,040 --> 01:39:25,249
Or else they stare at you,
that's the worst.
1693
01:39:25,250 --> 01:39:28,002
That hurt, innocent little stare
like you just killed their pup
1694
01:39:28,003 --> 01:39:30,213
or ate their turtle
or something, Murray--
1695
01:39:30,214 --> 01:39:32,048
Have you back with me
at the studio,
1696
01:39:32,049 --> 01:39:33,883
see you at the show tomorrow,
it's gonna be beautiful,
1697
01:39:33,884 --> 01:39:35,385
- you're the best.
- I appreciate
1698
01:39:35,386 --> 01:39:37,303
- your feeling that way, Leo.
- This afternoon,
1699
01:39:37,304 --> 01:39:39,639
on the phone,
you walked out on me.
1700
01:39:39,640 --> 01:39:41,724
- Yeah, Leo, I'm sorry.
- Why, why do you do this to me?
1701
01:39:41,725 --> 01:39:43,559
- No, I was only kidding.
- Don't tell me,
1702
01:39:43,560 --> 01:39:44,936
I know I make people nervous,
1703
01:39:44,937 --> 01:39:47,146
who can listen to me
for ten minutes, right?
1704
01:39:47,147 --> 01:39:49,357
You see that, you see that?
1705
01:39:49,358 --> 01:39:51,943
See how I kept touching
my suit, my tie like that?
1706
01:39:51,944 --> 01:39:54,946
I keep touching myself
to make sure I'm still here.
1707
01:39:54,947 --> 01:39:58,950
I get this feeling maybe I
vanished when I wasn't looking.
1708
01:39:58,951 --> 01:40:01,619
No, I'm sure
that you're here, Leo.
1709
01:40:01,620 --> 01:40:05,832
See how he talks to me,
a little nasty? I like it.
1710
01:40:05,833 --> 01:40:07,458
It's straight,
it's real, I like it.
1711
01:40:07,459 --> 01:40:08,960
You know what I got
around me on the show?
1712
01:40:08,961 --> 01:40:11,838
Finks, dwarfs,
phonies, and frogs.
1713
01:40:11,839 --> 01:40:14,674
No Murrays, the show is boring.
1714
01:40:14,675 --> 01:40:18,678
Boring, boring, boring,
boredom, bore, boring,
1715
01:40:18,679 --> 01:40:21,514
boring, boring, boring,
boring, boredom, bore!
1716
01:40:21,515 --> 01:40:23,683
- Murray?
- Boring, boredom, bore!
1717
01:40:23,684 --> 01:40:26,185
Boring, boring, boring.
1718
01:40:28,397 --> 01:40:31,607
I believe that
I left my files here.
1719
01:40:33,694 --> 01:40:35,987
I came to get my files.
1720
01:40:35,988 --> 01:40:38,698
May I have my files, please?
1721
01:40:38,699 --> 01:40:42,201
Oh, excuse me.
1722
01:40:42,202 --> 01:40:45,413
Uh, Chuckles the Chipmunk,
this is Minnie Mouse.
1723
01:40:45,414 --> 01:40:47,415
Hiya, Minnie.
1724
01:40:47,416 --> 01:40:50,251
You must be Mr. Herman?
1725
01:40:50,252 --> 01:40:52,670
I must be, I must be him.
1726
01:40:52,671 --> 01:40:54,881
Well, I'll be on my way.
1727
01:40:57,885 --> 01:40:59,635
That's a very attractive girl,
that Minnie.
1728
01:40:59,636 --> 01:41:01,262
What does she do?
1729
01:41:01,263 --> 01:41:03,222
She's my decorator.
1730
01:41:11,273 --> 01:41:14,525
She's done a wonderful job.
1731
01:41:14,526 --> 01:41:16,110
The place is great, Murray,
1732
01:41:16,111 --> 01:41:18,696
it's loose, it's open,
it's free, I love it.
1733
01:41:18,697 --> 01:41:22,033
A wonderful, crazy place.
1734
01:41:22,034 --> 01:41:24,243
My God.
1735
01:41:24,244 --> 01:41:28,414
You must make out like mad
in a place like this, huh?
1736
01:41:28,999 --> 01:41:30,583
Leo.
1737
01:41:30,584 --> 01:41:32,210
How is it I never
came here before?
1738
01:41:32,211 --> 01:41:33,628
You were here last January, Leo.
1739
01:41:33,629 --> 01:41:35,254
You work with me
for three years,
1740
01:41:35,255 --> 01:41:36,422
I never saw your apartment.
1741
01:41:36,423 --> 01:41:37,840
You were here last January, Leo.
1742
01:41:37,841 --> 01:41:39,425
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
1743
01:41:39,426 --> 01:41:42,929
Wasn't I here recently,
in the winter?
1744
01:41:42,930 --> 01:41:45,306
Last January, I think.
1745
01:41:45,307 --> 01:41:47,350
I remember, I came here
to get you back on the show
1746
01:41:47,351 --> 01:41:49,393
and you wouldn't listen to me.
1747
01:41:49,394 --> 01:41:50,978
It was a week after you quit--
1748
01:41:50,979 --> 01:41:53,189
you walked into the kitchen
and started singing
1749
01:41:53,190 --> 01:41:54,524
"Yes Sir, That's My Baby,"
1750
01:41:54,525 --> 01:41:57,068
and I left,
feeling very foolish,
1751
01:41:57,069 --> 01:41:58,945
like I had footprints
on my face.
1752
01:41:58,946 --> 01:42:02,782
You monkey, you're a monkey.
1753
01:42:02,783 --> 01:42:04,784
You're an old monkey,
aren't you, huh?
1754
01:42:04,785 --> 01:42:06,994
Walked in the kitchen
and starting singing,
1755
01:42:06,995 --> 01:42:09,205
"Yes Sir, That's My Baby."
1756
01:42:09,206 --> 01:42:11,290
You know what I got
from that experience?
1757
01:42:11,291 --> 01:42:15,878
A rash, I broke out
something terrible.
1758
01:42:15,879 --> 01:42:17,880
Minnie Mouse.
1759
01:42:19,299 --> 01:42:21,467
Minnie Mouse!
1760
01:42:21,468 --> 01:42:25,304
You told me her name
was Minnie Mouse!
1761
01:42:27,891 --> 01:42:30,309
I swear to God now,
I think my mission in life
1762
01:42:30,310 --> 01:42:32,645
is to feed you straight lines.
1763
01:42:32,646 --> 01:42:34,063
It's a kind of
a fallout shelter,
1764
01:42:34,064 --> 01:42:35,690
that's what you got here, Mur.
1765
01:42:35,691 --> 01:42:37,775
Protection against the idiots
in the atmosphere,
1766
01:42:37,776 --> 01:42:41,028
it's free, it's free,
free, free, free,
1767
01:42:41,029 --> 01:42:43,656
freedom, free,
another year and I'll--
1768
01:42:43,657 --> 01:42:46,951
another year and I'll cut loose
of my chipmunk show.
1769
01:42:46,952 --> 01:42:48,578
Binds me, hugs me up,
1770
01:42:48,579 --> 01:42:50,538
finks, dwarfs,
phonies, and frogs.
1771
01:42:50,539 --> 01:42:52,165
Now the two of us,
we gotta do something new,
1772
01:42:52,166 --> 01:42:55,501
something wild, a new kind
of kid's show for adults, maybe.
1773
01:42:55,502 --> 01:42:57,837
You told me the same thing
three years ago, Leo.
1774
01:42:57,838 --> 01:42:59,839
All right,
what do you want from me?
1775
01:42:59,840 --> 01:43:04,177
I'm a coward,
everybody knows--oh my God.
1776
01:43:04,178 --> 01:43:07,180
Did you ever see
anything so immodest?
1777
01:43:07,181 --> 01:43:11,142
I bring a big statue of myself
as a gift for a child, huh?
1778
01:43:11,143 --> 01:43:13,144
The pure ego of it?
1779
01:43:13,145 --> 01:43:15,605
I'm ashamed, Murray, please.
1780
01:43:15,606 --> 01:43:20,234
Throw a sheet over it
or something, will you, please?
1781
01:43:20,235 --> 01:43:22,987
Yum-yum-yum-yum-yummy, oh,
1782
01:43:22,988 --> 01:43:27,408
yum-yum-yum-yum-yum, good.
1783
01:43:27,409 --> 01:43:31,245
Oh, gosh, kid-a-roonies, look
at your poor chipmunk friend,
1784
01:43:31,246 --> 01:43:33,080
he got his mouth stuck!
1785
01:43:33,081 --> 01:43:36,334
Oh ho, no matter how hard I try,
1786
01:43:36,335 --> 01:43:39,420
I can't get my mouth unstuck.
1787
01:43:39,421 --> 01:43:42,757
But maybe if you Chippermunks
yell, "Be happy, Chuckles,"
1788
01:43:42,758 --> 01:43:45,760
maybe then it'll get unstuck.
1789
01:43:50,015 --> 01:43:53,517
You're supposed to yell,
"Be happy, Chuckles."
1790
01:43:53,518 --> 01:43:55,144
Oh, yeah, sure.
1791
01:43:55,145 --> 01:43:57,146
Be happy, Chuckles.
1792
01:43:57,147 --> 01:43:59,565
All right, you fixed me!
1793
01:43:59,566 --> 01:44:01,567
I'm all fixed!
1794
01:44:03,987 --> 01:44:05,279
- Yeah.
- Would you like
1795
01:44:05,280 --> 01:44:07,281
your potato chips now,
Mr. Herman?
1796
01:44:07,282 --> 01:44:09,909
That's a bit from
tomorrow morning's show.
1797
01:44:09,910 --> 01:44:11,911
And you're gonna know it
before all the kids
1798
01:44:11,912 --> 01:44:14,080
in the neighborhood.
1799
01:44:14,081 --> 01:44:15,248
Thank you.
1800
01:44:15,249 --> 01:44:16,415
That's one
of the funny parts there
1801
01:44:16,416 --> 01:44:18,000
where I couldn't move my mouth.
1802
01:44:18,001 --> 01:44:19,752
Oh, oh yeah?
1803
01:44:19,753 --> 01:44:21,087
You think it was funny?
1804
01:44:21,088 --> 01:44:24,173
Sure, that was pretty funny.
1805
01:44:24,174 --> 01:44:26,008
Yeah, don't you laugh
1806
01:44:26,009 --> 01:44:27,593
or something
when you see something funny?
1807
01:44:27,594 --> 01:44:29,345
Yeah, it just caught me
by surprise is all,
1808
01:44:29,346 --> 01:44:32,306
I didn't get a chance.
1809
01:44:32,349 --> 01:44:34,350
Don't you want
more potato chips, mister?
1810
01:44:34,351 --> 01:44:36,352
Another funny part
was where I jumped up there
1811
01:44:36,353 --> 01:44:39,188
with a smile there,
at the end there.
1812
01:44:39,189 --> 01:44:42,400
Was another one.
1813
01:44:42,401 --> 01:44:45,236
Then the finishing bit,
I got the smile, see,
1814
01:44:45,237 --> 01:44:47,238
now I'm all fixed, huh?
1815
01:44:47,239 --> 01:44:50,324
Now I'm all fixed, he-he-he-he--
1816
01:44:50,325 --> 01:44:53,327
Oh, now it's stuck
the other way!
1817
01:45:00,961 --> 01:45:03,796
Well gee, that's terrific,
Mr. Herman.
1818
01:45:03,797 --> 01:45:06,132
That's all you gotta do,
just get up there and do that
1819
01:45:06,133 --> 01:45:08,551
and they pay you and everything.
1820
01:45:10,470 --> 01:45:12,054
You didn't laugh.
1821
01:45:12,055 --> 01:45:13,681
I was waiting
for the funny part.
1822
01:45:13,682 --> 01:45:17,268
That was the funny part.
1823
01:45:17,269 --> 01:45:21,522
-You mean when you fell on--
-Yeah, like on the floor there!
1824
01:45:21,523 --> 01:45:23,274
-Well, you see the thing is--
-Yeah, I know,
1825
01:45:23,275 --> 01:45:24,775
you were waiting
for the funny part.
1826
01:45:24,776 --> 01:45:26,610
Well, here, you missed
another funny part.
1827
01:45:26,611 --> 01:45:28,779
Another one,
I'm very sorry, Mr. Herman--
1828
01:45:28,780 --> 01:45:31,782
Forget it!
1829
01:45:31,783 --> 01:45:33,617
I happen to know that
the bit is very funny.
1830
01:45:33,618 --> 01:45:35,453
Here, I can prove it to you.
1831
01:45:35,454 --> 01:45:36,620
What does it say right there?
1832
01:45:36,621 --> 01:45:39,248
Second line there.
1833
01:45:39,249 --> 01:45:42,084
"Frown bit:
85 percent of audience,
1834
01:45:42,085 --> 01:45:45,588
outright prolonged laughter
on frown bit."
1835
01:45:45,589 --> 01:45:47,923
That's an analysis report
the agency did for me
1836
01:45:47,924 --> 01:45:49,550
on Monday's preview audience.
1837
01:45:49,551 --> 01:45:51,218
The routine I just did
for you got outright
1838
01:45:51,219 --> 01:45:53,971
prolonged laughter, 85 percent.
1839
01:45:53,972 --> 01:45:55,890
Monday, three o'clock.
1840
01:45:55,891 --> 01:45:59,060
You try him on sad parts, Leo,
he's very good on sad parts.
1841
01:45:59,061 --> 01:46:01,395
As a matter of fact,
there's a poignant type bit
1842
01:46:01,396 --> 01:46:03,397
I did at the preview theater.
1843
01:46:03,398 --> 01:46:06,400
Sixty percent of audience
noticeably moved.
1844
01:46:06,401 --> 01:46:08,903
- They left the theater?
- There he is,
1845
01:46:08,904 --> 01:46:10,988
there's the old joker, right?
1846
01:46:10,989 --> 01:46:12,615
Murray the joker.
1847
01:46:12,616 --> 01:46:15,034
Well, say, I can do
some routines, too.
1848
01:46:15,035 --> 01:46:17,703
I can imitate the voice
of Alexander Hamilton.
1849
01:46:17,704 --> 01:46:20,206
- Good.
- I do Alexander Hamilton,
1850
01:46:20,207 --> 01:46:22,833
and Murray does
a terrific Thomas Jefferson.
1851
01:46:22,834 --> 01:46:24,835
We got the voices just right.
1852
01:46:26,671 --> 01:46:29,090
- Hello, Alex, how are you?
- Say, hello, Tom, you know,
1853
01:46:29,091 --> 01:46:30,257
you should have been
in Congress today.
1854
01:46:30,258 --> 01:46:31,842
- Yeah.
- You really missed--
1855
01:46:31,843 --> 01:46:35,262
Now this is ridiculous.
1856
01:46:35,263 --> 01:46:38,057
You can't do an imitation
of Alexander Hamilton,
1857
01:46:38,058 --> 01:46:40,601
nobody knows
what he sounds like.
1858
01:46:42,104 --> 01:46:44,271
Well, that's the funny part.
1859
01:46:44,272 --> 01:46:45,856
You missed the funny part, Leo.
1860
01:46:45,857 --> 01:46:48,859
I'm getting a terrible rash
on my neck.
1861
01:46:52,072 --> 01:46:53,656
I was working good
in front of the kid,
1862
01:46:53,657 --> 01:46:55,741
the routine I did
for him was funny.
1863
01:46:55,742 --> 01:46:58,911
I don't go over
with these odd kids.
1864
01:46:58,912 --> 01:47:00,538
Look at him, here I am,
right in front of him,
1865
01:47:00,539 --> 01:47:03,958
in person, for God's sake,
he's staring at me.
1866
01:47:03,959 --> 01:47:06,585
Oddness here, Murray, oddness.
1867
01:47:06,586 --> 01:47:10,798
Alexander Hamilton imitations,
jaded jokes for old men.
1868
01:47:10,799 --> 01:47:12,800
What you've done
to the kid is a shame,
1869
01:47:12,801 --> 01:47:14,301
it's a shame,
it's a shame the way
1870
01:47:14,302 --> 01:47:15,636
you brought the kid up here.
1871
01:47:15,637 --> 01:47:18,055
Grotesque atmosphere
and unhealthy.
1872
01:47:18,056 --> 01:47:20,266
Women in and out, decorators.
1873
01:47:20,267 --> 01:47:22,476
Had he been brought up
by a normal person,
1874
01:47:22,477 --> 01:47:25,563
-not in this madhouse--
-Hey, don't say that!
1875
01:47:25,564 --> 01:47:27,731
It's a certain freakish
kind of growing up,
1876
01:47:27,732 --> 01:47:29,066
freakish way of growing up.
1877
01:47:29,067 --> 01:47:31,152
Hey, are you calling me a freak?
1878
01:47:31,153 --> 01:47:34,155
You called me a freak,
now you take back what you said.
1879
01:47:34,156 --> 01:47:35,990
On June the 3rd,
I'll be 42 years old,
1880
01:47:35,991 --> 01:47:38,826
I'm standing here arguing
with a 12-year-old kid.
1881
01:47:40,245 --> 01:47:42,246
Nicky...
1882
01:47:44,875 --> 01:47:49,044
Humor is a cloudy
wonderland thing.
1883
01:47:49,045 --> 01:47:52,673
But simple and clear
as the blue, blue sky.
1884
01:47:52,674 --> 01:47:56,677
All I want is your simple honest
child's opinion of my routine,
1885
01:47:56,678 --> 01:47:59,513
but children are
too honest to be wise.
1886
01:48:02,684 --> 01:48:05,895
Well, my simple,
child reaction of what you did
1887
01:48:05,896 --> 01:48:08,731
is that you are not funny.
1888
01:48:08,732 --> 01:48:10,941
Funnier than you
is even Stuart Schlossman,
1889
01:48:10,942 --> 01:48:13,110
who is my friend and is 11
1890
01:48:13,111 --> 01:48:17,740
and puts walnuts in his mouth
and makes noises.
1891
01:48:17,741 --> 01:48:21,577
What's not funny
is to call us names.
1892
01:48:21,578 --> 01:48:25,789
And what is mostly not funny
is how sad you are,
1893
01:48:25,790 --> 01:48:27,416
and I'd feel sorry for you
1894
01:48:27,417 --> 01:48:30,419
if it wasn't
for how dull you are.
1895
01:48:30,420 --> 01:48:32,254
And those are
the worst-tasting potato chips
1896
01:48:32,255 --> 01:48:34,882
I've ever tasted,
and that's my opinion
1897
01:48:34,883 --> 01:48:37,301
from the blue, blue sky.
1898
01:48:49,147 --> 01:48:51,315
There he is,
there's the old monkey.
1899
01:48:51,316 --> 01:48:53,484
There's the old joker, right?
1900
01:48:53,485 --> 01:48:55,069
You didn't want to come back
to work for me,
1901
01:48:55,070 --> 01:48:56,904
you got me up here
to step on my face again!
1902
01:48:56,905 --> 01:48:58,113
Now, wait, Leo--
1903
01:48:58,114 --> 01:49:00,449
♪ Yes, sir, that's my baby-- ♪
1904
01:49:00,450 --> 01:49:03,702
That's the song,
that's the goodbye song.
1905
01:49:03,703 --> 01:49:05,037
Hey, hey, Leo, wait a minute.
1906
01:49:05,038 --> 01:49:06,789
Thanks for nothing,
you're raving.
1907
01:49:06,790 --> 01:49:08,791
Now look, wait a minute,
will you, I'm sorry.
1908
01:49:08,792 --> 01:49:10,417
♪ We won't have it, yes, sir ♪
1909
01:49:10,418 --> 01:49:12,086
- You better cut that out.
- Come on, Murray, take your uke,
1910
01:49:12,087 --> 01:49:13,712
we'll sing to him,
he'll go away.
1911
01:49:13,713 --> 01:49:17,049
No Nick, they can't,
now just come on, put it down.
1912
01:49:17,050 --> 01:49:18,717
Let him go away,
he called us names.
1913
01:49:18,718 --> 01:49:20,302
Will you be quiet
for just a minute?
1914
01:49:20,303 --> 01:49:24,848
Oh, Murray,
let him go away, please!
1915
01:49:24,891 --> 01:49:28,519
- Crummy and bad, you actor.
- Hey, Nick, cut it out.
1916
01:49:28,520 --> 01:49:31,730
Wait--he can't push us around,
not you and me, Murray,
1917
01:49:31,731 --> 01:49:35,150
we gotta get rid of him,
we gotta, please,
1918
01:49:35,151 --> 01:49:38,988
- please, we gotta.
- We can't, we can't.
1919
01:49:41,992 --> 01:49:44,410
Aww, kid, I'm sorry.
1920
01:49:45,412 --> 01:49:47,621
Sorry, kid.
1921
01:49:49,040 --> 01:49:51,041
I'm sorry.
1922
01:50:00,051 --> 01:50:02,678
Look, uh...
1923
01:50:02,679 --> 01:50:05,472
better go to your room.
1924
01:50:05,473 --> 01:50:07,891
This is one-room apartment.
1925
01:50:09,644 --> 01:50:12,813
Okay, then go to your alcove.
1926
01:50:22,324 --> 01:50:24,658
Hey, Leo, I hope you
didn't misunderstand,
1927
01:50:24,659 --> 01:50:25,868
- you know, we were only kidding.
- I myself--
1928
01:50:25,869 --> 01:50:27,369
I got carried away myself.
1929
01:50:27,370 --> 01:50:29,913
Yeah, well we all got
a little excited, I guess.
1930
01:50:32,125 --> 01:50:36,128
So, I'll see you at work
in the morning, Leo.
1931
01:50:36,129 --> 01:50:38,464
Great to have you back,
fella, you both hate me.
1932
01:50:38,465 --> 01:50:41,300
- Ah, now nobody hates you, Leo.
- I yelled at the kid, I'm sorry,
1933
01:50:41,301 --> 01:50:42,718
I didn't mean
to cause any upset.
1934
01:50:42,719 --> 01:50:44,970
I don't get along
too good with kids.
1935
01:50:44,971 --> 01:50:46,639
Well, don't worry about it.
1936
01:50:46,640 --> 01:50:49,600
-Wanna come have a drink--
-Ah, no, no, not tonight.
1937
01:50:49,601 --> 01:50:51,852
Some other night, huh, Leo?
1938
01:50:51,853 --> 01:50:55,064
Yeah look... after I leave,
1939
01:50:55,065 --> 01:50:57,900
you horse around with the kid
a little bit, he'll feel better.
1940
01:50:57,901 --> 01:50:59,902
- Right, Leo.
- That bit I did for him
1941
01:50:59,903 --> 01:51:01,904
was funny, wasn't it, Murray?
1942
01:51:03,907 --> 01:51:07,493
Yeah, Leo, I guess it was
just a bad day for you.
1943
01:51:07,494 --> 01:51:11,330
Bad day for the old chipmunk.
1944
01:51:13,333 --> 01:51:16,335
You don't want to leave
that statue lying
1945
01:51:16,336 --> 01:51:18,962
on the floor like that, Murray.
1946
01:51:21,633 --> 01:51:24,635
No, Leo, no.
1947
01:51:39,859 --> 01:51:42,653
See you at the studio
in the morning, you old monkey.
1948
01:51:48,451 --> 01:51:52,079
You're an old monkey, aren't ya?
1949
01:52:23,695 --> 01:52:26,530
Hey, I could use
a pastrami sandwich
1950
01:52:26,531 --> 01:52:28,365
right now, couldn't you?
1951
01:52:28,366 --> 01:52:32,369
On rye, with coleslaw
and Russian dressing?
1952
01:52:34,456 --> 01:52:36,081
Nick?
1953
01:52:39,836 --> 01:52:43,422
Guy calls us names.
1954
01:52:43,423 --> 01:52:46,258
Guy talks to us like that.
1955
01:52:47,427 --> 01:52:50,429
Shoulda got rid of that moron.
1956
01:52:53,641 --> 01:52:56,685
We coulda fooled
the welfare people or something.
1957
01:53:00,607 --> 01:53:02,816
Coulda moved to Mexico,
1958
01:53:02,817 --> 01:53:06,653
New Jersey, someplace.
1959
01:53:06,654 --> 01:53:10,491
I hear the delicatessen
in Mexico is terrible.
1960
01:53:12,494 --> 01:53:15,496
I'm gonna call
myself Theodore.
1961
01:53:18,124 --> 01:53:20,793
Okay, long as you don't
1962
01:53:20,794 --> 01:53:23,420
call yourself Beatrice.
1963
01:53:27,008 --> 01:53:29,510
All right, fool around.
1964
01:53:31,763 --> 01:53:34,932
Wait till you see a Theodore
running around here.
1965
01:53:34,974 --> 01:53:37,351
Now just wait.
1966
01:53:39,938 --> 01:53:43,148
Another couple of seconds,
he woulda been out the door.
1967
01:53:50,782 --> 01:53:52,783
Murray?
1968
01:53:54,202 --> 01:53:58,205
Why'd you let him
push us around?
1969
01:53:58,206 --> 01:54:00,874
Why'd you go chicken on me, huh?
1970
01:54:02,710 --> 01:54:05,295
Because your routines give me
1971
01:54:05,296 --> 01:54:09,716
outright, prolonged
laughter, Theodore.
1972
01:54:09,717 --> 01:54:11,927
$4.95 for a new tablecloth
1973
01:54:11,928 --> 01:54:16,515
and you leave it
around like this.
1974
01:54:16,516 --> 01:54:18,642
Perfectly new tablecloth
and already there's
1975
01:54:18,643 --> 01:54:20,644
dust all over it.
1976
01:54:24,232 --> 01:54:28,986
You know, it's very interesting
that I left my files here.
1977
01:54:28,987 --> 01:54:32,155
That I forget them,
I mean, psychologically,
1978
01:54:32,156 --> 01:54:35,576
if you want to analyze that.
1979
01:54:35,577 --> 01:54:38,787
'Course, last month I left
my handbag in the automat,
1980
01:54:38,788 --> 01:54:41,999
I have no idea
what that means at all.
1981
01:54:49,007 --> 01:54:52,217
I think that the pattern
of our relationship,
1982
01:54:52,218 --> 01:54:55,220
if we examine it,
is very intricate.
1983
01:54:55,221 --> 01:54:57,306
The different areas of it,
1984
01:54:57,307 --> 01:55:01,393
especially the whole
goodbye area of it.
1985
01:55:01,394 --> 01:55:04,229
Hello, Sandy, how are you?
1986
01:55:04,230 --> 01:55:06,648
Hello, Murray.
1987
01:55:06,649 --> 01:55:09,860
I called
the weather lady before.
1988
01:55:09,861 --> 01:55:12,696
She says it is a beautiful day.
1989
01:55:14,282 --> 01:55:16,283
Say, lady, can I help
with any of that?
1990
01:55:16,284 --> 01:55:18,869
As a matter of fact, Nick--
1991
01:55:18,870 --> 01:55:22,164
Nick, I do not think the effect,
1992
01:55:22,165 --> 01:55:24,583
I mean, the overall design
of this room
1993
01:55:24,584 --> 01:55:28,587
is really helped
by all these knickknacks.
1994
01:55:28,588 --> 01:55:30,589
- You mean the junk?
- Yes.
1995
01:55:30,590 --> 01:55:33,592
Yeah, well, it's not good
for the overall design.
1996
01:55:33,593 --> 01:55:37,429
So, Nick, if you would
just help me put the junk
1997
01:55:37,430 --> 01:55:39,848
into those cartons over there.
1998
01:55:39,849 --> 01:55:41,850
Nick.
1999
01:55:45,271 --> 01:55:46,855
Nick!
2000
01:55:46,856 --> 01:55:49,274
Wilbur.
2001
01:55:49,275 --> 01:55:52,027
Wilbur Malcolm Burns.
2002
01:56:16,219 --> 01:56:19,054
Campers!
2003
01:56:19,055 --> 01:56:22,182
The entertainment committee
was quite disappointed
2004
01:56:22,183 --> 01:56:23,809
in the really poor turnout
2005
01:56:23,851 --> 01:56:26,853
at this morning's
community sing.
2006
01:56:26,854 --> 01:56:31,274
I mean, where's all that old
Camp Chickowatomee spirit?
2007
01:56:31,275 --> 01:56:34,861
I'm sure I speak for all of us
here when I say that I--
2008
01:56:36,864 --> 01:56:39,866
And I'd like to say
right now that...
2009
01:56:41,703 --> 01:56:43,537
that...
2010
01:56:48,126 --> 01:56:50,961
Campers, I can't think
2011
01:56:50,962 --> 01:56:53,380
of anything to say.
143938
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