Original subtitles

Morning, brother.

I know you?

Love you too.

Breakfast?

Coffee?

Absolutely.

You still like it black?

How'd you get in?

Hide-a-key.

Dad always kept one.

Figured you didn't change the system.

Change the hide-a-key system.

Got it. Stuff to do.

Fork... Fork...

Oh god.

Yeah. There ya go.

Thanks.

Good thing I mopped.

Something wrong?

Yeah. You suck at making coffee.

I follow the instructions to the letter.

I followed the instructions to the letter.

It's just so difficult for people who don't drink coffee

to understand the true and exacting nature that is coffee making.

People with cream and sugar? Idiots.

Morons. Stupid fools.

Well, I'm sorry.

Oh, I accept your apology.

The coffee?

No.

Hey.

Got any plans for today?

Why? You need a ride to the airport in, like, 10 minutes because I know a shuttle service.

They're like one star, so you might lose a bag, but that's okay

because your stuff is worthless.

I'm good.

You know, I just thought that maybe.

What?

Thought maybe we could hang out this week.

Didn’t we spend enough time at the lawyer's office the other day?

Between shaking hands with dad's old buddies

and driving to the cemetery.

I sincerely doubt it.

But, hey, let's do something.

Oh, let's go to the old putt-putt place.

Dino-golf.

Fun for the whole family.

Hey.

You want to join me for morning prayer?

Oh you.

If we were on a sinking ship,

the only way off is for us to pray together.

I just play that sweet, sweet violin right straight into the cold Atlantic.

There we go.

Sorry.

There we go.

Hello?

Hey, Jordan.

Hey, Tania.

How's it going?

I'm. I'm fine.

I'm not bothering you, am I?

No. No, not at all.

It's really early where you are.

Everything all right?

Yeah, Yeah.

Just having, you know, problems.

What else is new?

Another craving.

Yeah.

Yeah, a bad one.

I just thought, you know, since you said

because you're my sponsor, I could call you.

Yeah.

Yeah, absolutely.

I just. I don't know.

I think about how good I used to feel around this hour, and I

just feel like, you know, if I had one

just one, I'd be back there.

Yeah, but you wouldn't, really, right?

I mean, you go back,

you lose it all. You go back,

You get yourself another Nina.

Yeah, I do.

So, how are you?

You went home, right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Bury your dad?

Yeah.

Are you still

done with Cigarettes?

I prayed a promise to Him that I'd quit.

I got to stick to that.

It's important to me.

Yeah.

I don't think I could quit smoking.

It's like my lifeline.

Well, you’re off another thing, that's hard enough.

When are you coming back?

In a few days.

Probably next week.

Got to take care of the family for now.

So take me through this.

How do you make a ‘Malcolm flavored’ cup of coffee?

‘Malcolm flavored’? That’s amazing.

No.

I love this idea. I think that’s awesome. - No that’s awful

That's amazing. Why do you want to know?

Figure out I'm staying a few days.

You like nights out. It's the least I can do.

No, no, no. The least you can do is get a motel room.

There's one down the street. They have hookers.

You’re gonna love it. Please? In the spirit of brotherhood?

Wow, brotherhood.

You know, I'm just wondering now -What?

Why after, like, years

and years of absentee brotherhood-ism, that all of a sudden

you're so concerned with making a ‘Malcolm flavored’ cup of coffee?

Seems weird to me.

I'm not sure you want to know the reason why.

It's been a week for bad answers.

God told me to come here.

Can you stay at his place then. Is that possible?

I knew you wouldn’t understand.

It’s not that I don’t understand, it’s that I think it’s stupid.

Dad taught both of us about the love of God and how it binds

people together in a way they couldn't fathom without that faith.

And I'm just struggling to understand how you can turn your back on it.

- That easily. - Super simple.

All I have to do is count to ten in my mind,

drink my coffee, and then just move on with my fucking life.

And it’s really easy. Sometimes, I don’t even count.

Every Sunday, Malcolm, every Sunday was just a waste of your time.

Our time, waste of our time..

Listen, I just want to enjoy my cup of coffee in peace and quiet.

That's actually what makes it a good cup of coffee, a ‘Malcolm coffee’.

Is that there's an absence of Jordan.

Teach me how to make it. -What?

- Okay, fine. - Good.

- Fine. - Awesome.

- Terrific. Amazing. - Amazing.

Fucking yes.

- Splendid. - Wonderful.

- Perfect. - Tomorrow.

Where are you going? To get a smoke?

I quit.

I liked you better when you smoked.

I don't believe you.

You shouldn't.

“Malcolm Coffee: from the mountains of...”

I’ll workshop it.

Hey, Good morning, Malcolm.

Hey, Patrick. Morning.

How's it going?

Shitty. How are you?

Same. You want to join me for a morning jog?

Yeah, sure.

Really?

No.

Trying to be a fat ass, huh?

No, it's really more of a racist thing.

Here I thought it was an alcoholic thing.

It’s a little of that.

See you at family dinner?

I’ll bring the wine. -All right!

“The years I hope yet to live,

“I wish only a few things.

“First of which is to have a family,

“Dear Lord, to have just one son

“A loving wife.

“A dog.”

Two out of three

“A dog named Jordan.

Okay.

“But my health

“..to have my health is to push forward

“in a weary world.”

A mirror.

Malcolm!

Does dad’s car have spare keys?

Why?

I took the car out

Had to get out of the car.

Left the keys inside and when the door closed, it locked behind me.

It does that

Did you call triple A?

No, because my phone is

also in the car.

It's not funny. Malcolm. It’s not funny.

I just walked 12 miles back.

And you need the spare key to get back in.

And maybe a ride.

I mean, I've been drinking all day, so if you're taking your life in your own hands

I'll risk it.

Fuck it, I’m stocked.

So why did you come out in the middle of nowhere anyway?

Why do you care?

I don't.

I came to be one with God.

Okay.

Here.

Here.

Here.

- Here. - Here!

- Here! - Here!

- Here! - Are you mocking...?

Oh.

Here.

You should fix that.

I didn't do that.

Yeah.

Take care of your car. It’s a rental, it came that way.

You gotta take care of the car.

Problems?

No. You look like you’re having problems.

Which one is it, Malcolm? -Huh?

Which key opens the door?

What are you talking about?

Which key or which key goes to the car?

What are you talking about? - Which key will get me in the car?

Keys?

Malcolm. Malcolm!! -Now. Jordan. What?

How do I get in the car? -Oh, calm down.

No, don't tell me to down. Hey, hey, hey,

Don’t tell me to calm down. -Sweetie.

Puddin’ Pop. Puddin’ pop. Buttercup.

Hey. Hey.

Yeah. Hey.

Let's calm down, okay?

You were super obnoxious

before when you were sunshine and roses, but now turns out worse.

So just take it down. -I'm sorry.

Which one is it?

Or am I just doing it wrong?

Well, you do everything wrong.

No, no, no. Keys.

Well, Dad had a tendency of locking himself out all the time,

so he installed a failsafe

Failsafe?

Are you kidding me? -Right?!

You're being serious. -Yeah.

I walked 12 miles.

Dad got so fed up.

One day he came home and he ripped the panel right off.

Never seen anything like it.

And he took off the auto lock. He was like a grizzly bear.

It was amazing

There we go.

He had a way of fixing things, that's for sure.

Ta da!

Thanks.

By the way, what's with that box in the living room?

The box of stuff.

Oh, just a bunch of Dad's old stuff.

Found it a few months ago.

Thought maybe some of it could be valuable.

Was there?

You wanna see?

Sure.

All right, see you at home.

It’s dead.

MALCOLM!!!!!

Oh.

So I might have left the lights on, and my phone is dead.

So you're really going to leave me, right?

You really want that answer?

I'll get the jumper cables

Think God was behind that or what?

Just tell me about the box.

You are a buzz kill.

You know, the worst. I mean, just awful.

And I'm sure at parties you’re the guy that yells out ‘surprise’

incorrectly or to the wrong person or something.

Just a total.

Sometimes you get confused.

Yeah, you get confused a lot.

Here.

Looks good on you.

Thanks.

Now you look stupid.

I mean, you always look stupid, but now you look stupider.

Maybe you should put the hair back on.

Put down like down here. -That's enough.

I think I remember this hat

Dad used to wear to my games.

Yeah, I used to wear it to my recitals too.

I think it was his event hat

Almost forgotten about it.

He didn’t wear it the last five years

He wrote a journal.

Careful, it’s fragile.

Watch out.

Whoa...

The mind of Dad.

There's a page about you in there.

Show me

What are you, a narcissist?

Very funny.

That’s a great name for a dog, right?

Oh, a real bitch.

Careful.

It's fragile.

What else you say about us?

It's not really about us.

It's all the things kind of before us.

It's like events and traveling and just random order of stuff.

It's completely out of array.

It doesn't look like you got to finish it either.

Here’s a good one.

I met her today.

The girl that stops your heart

at the very sight of her

With flowing ginger hair and piercing green eyes,

she uttered the phrase that every man longs to hear

“More coffee?”

Dad was a real poet.

I think this was Mom.

He say her name?

No, but

just fits the description,

date, everything.

She was a waitress, right?

I think so.

I don't really remember her.

Talks about her a lot in here.

Never really mentions her name, though.

What do you think that's about?

What's in a name?

That which we call a rose.. -Really?

Captain cliche. Oh, my God.

What is your what?

You have more?

You have more, don’t you?

Um. Rolling Stone gathers no moss.

Oh, good one. Yeah.

Let he who was is without sin cast

the first stone more than one way to skin...

Now it's really dark.

Nope, I’m out.

Good.

Here.

Read that.

“Today.

“We are truly blessed.

“My querida is pregnant with our second child.

“I am overjoyed with life

“and blessed by God.

“If he were to call me to heaven today, I would go knowing I had already met

“his angel.”

The hell is this?

It’s a dog dish.

What's ‘que-he-da’?

‘Darling’ in Portuguese?

That's nice.

It's real sweet.

So do you want to talk about any of this?

Where are you going?

Hey.

How's it going?

Good.

So you're good?

Okay. No.

What's going on?

I got a call from Nina.

She wants to talk.

Why don't you take that call?

No, she left a message, was working.

Couldn't answer.

When was this?

I got the message about 10 minutes ago.

I've just been staring at my phone.

I know it's not sponsor related.

Oh, no. No, no, no. It's fine.

Anything you want to talk about, you can call me.

That's the deal.

Thanks.

So what did she say?

Just want to talk.

She wanted to invite me to a party she was having.

And you're tempted to go?

It’s just been really stressful lately, and I don't have anywhere to put it.

You know? I understand.

Calm down, okay?

I'm not judging.

I know. I'm sorry.

I just.

I can't see your face, so I.

I don't know.

Sorry.

It's fine.

It's fine.

Just talk to me.

You remember Tate, right?

Tate?

He, um...

He got me pregnant.

Right.

I didn't know his name.

I didn't tell you.

I'm so sorry.

It’s fine.

You told me about the baby, though.

I know I made the right choice about not keeping it.

I just.

Sometimes I have these dreams where I'm walking down the school hallways,

always running late to class, you know?

When I get close to where I think I need to be.

I'm at the wrong place, so I run faster and harder to.

Where I think I need to go next and

then there's a six year old boy standing in my way

and he's crying.

I tell him it's going to be all right,

but he cries harder.

I don't know what else to do for him.

I panic.

Then what do you do?

I hit him, slap him first

He still doesn't stop.

So I hit him again.

Harder and harder.

And I pick up a shovel from nearby and hit him so hard he falls to the ground.

He doesn't stop crying even though his face isn't moving

and he keeps crying.

So I hit him again and again.

And I realize I'm the one crying.

And I wake up and I'm crying out loud.

No one's around me.

It takes me a few minutes to realize it's just a dream.

Have you talked to Dr. Beckwith about this?

No.

Okay.

Tell her.

Okay.

It's just a dream, Tania.

Tate can't hurt you again.

Is it kind of weird that I want him to just so I could make a different choice?

You have to stop blaming yourself for everything

you did everything you knew how to do.

And you're only human.

We often have these extraordinary expectations

of ourselves that we can overcome whatever is thrown at us.

And we could

God could help us.

But we need to want that help.

We need to want to help ourselves.

Yeah, I pray every night.

I don't think it's helping.

Well, don't give up.

And I'm here.

I'm not going anywhere.

Thanks.

I'm going to

try to get some sleep.

Sleep well, Tania.

You too, Jordan.

Night.

Goodnight.

Yes?

Morning, idiot.

Oh shit, hey, Claire.

You always know just what to say to start my day.

Are you not coming in today?

No, I'm.

Yeah. No.

I’m not, I’ve got to deal with some of Dad stuff

if that's okay.

Um, yeah, no,

we're fine.

We're fine. You just..

You just take care of things.

Yeah.

Thanks, Claire.

Do you need some company?

No.

No, I'm good. But we should.

Do you remember that thing that you told me you want to do?

Yeah,

well, I think that we should do that today.

I'd like to do that with you.

Yeah, I'd like to.

I'd like to do that with you.

And it's

I think it's time.

Okay.

Text me the address.

Yeah, I will.

I'll see you then.

I’ll see you soon.

Morning, brother.

Oh, it's you

Hungry?

Sure.

I made coffee.

So you want to dump it down the drain now, or do you want me to do it?

Try it.

You're putting me to work, aren’t you?

I think I got it right.

Huh?

Huh?

Oh, come on!

Did it at least taste like coffee to you?

No.

Why do you think I’m adding this?

Hey, Claire.

What brings you here?

Funny,

Are you ready?

I don't think I can do this.

Yeah, Um...

Look, this was the last thing I wanted to do when my mom passed away.

But my dad said that it would help

And it did.

You can do this.

I'll be right there with you.

Did you bring the booze?

What? Why are you laughing?

Yeah, with my book bag I have.

Totally.

Maybe you buried it somewhere.

I carried a flask in my pocket.

Maybe had a treasure map, and we were going to find it together.

Oooh. I would hope I find something better than booze.

I would hope.

Some gold.

I don’t know, booze is the new gold.

Is it?

Ask anyone.

God.

Give me the strength

to aide my brother,

To guide him

back to your kingdom once again.

Give me the strength

to kick the vial habit I brought upon myself

in a time of weakness.

Seriously!?

He's gone.

I know.

He's gone.

I know.

Sorry, Charlie.

Hello?

Jordan!!

Tanya, Is everything all right?

No!!

Oh God...

I messed up, Jordan!

Okay, calm down, Calm down.

Take a deep breath.

Take a deep breath.

Good, Good.

Okay, from the start.

I went out last night.

With Frankie.

You know Frankie.

Yeah, she's swell.

We went out and went dancing.

Nothing crazy.

I had water the whole night.

I swear to God, I did.

I couldn't sleep.

I just needed something to wear me down.

Okay?

Then, like, at this morning around two.

I didn't want to bother you, but I couldn't

fight it.

I tried doing other things just to pass the time.

Things you told me to try but I just...

I couldn’t.

I’m sorry.

Would you believe me if I told you it was okay?

-It’s not!!

Yes. Yes, it is.

It is.

It is.

A lot of people, a lot of good people fall off once in a while.

It's perfectly normal.

What does it mean?

Nothing.

It means you slipped.

But the thing about the program, the thing about me is

I don't give up on people.

And the program doesn't give up on people

who don't give up on themselves.

I don't know.

I just wanted to give up on myself, you know?

Well, look, Tania, that part's up to you.

No one can make that decision for you.

You're an adult.

I'm here to steer you down the right path.

But if you don't think you can handle it, and I mean really can't handle it,

then maybe you should...

What are you saying?

I’m ju-

Just saying.

Try harder.

Don't give up.

You're better than that.

I believe in you.

God believes in you.

If he were watching me last night,

I don't think he would.

He’s the forgiving type, Tania, look,

go to a meeting tonight.

Talk to the group head and ask for a second local sponsor.

Tell them you already have one, but you need another.

Come clean about what happened.

They're not there to judge you.

I really need you to come back.

I know.

I'll be back.

Everything is...

Everything's going to be fine.

Okay.

Thanks, Jordan.

And hey,

Call me after your meeting, okay?

Okay.

Okay.

Bye.

Bye.

Fan club?

Well, you want to talk about it? I don't want to listen, so that's cool.

It's just...

Do you want to sit down?

Her name is Tania Fisher.

I met her about ten years ago.

We went out a couple of times.

She went to my church.

I thought we were in love,

but then she sort of turned to drugs.

Bad ones.

It hurt like Hell.

And she stopped returning my calls,

started acting like I was nothing.

But, you know me.

I just wanted to believe it was some personal stuff.

But then I found out about the ‘E’ she was on,

and the pot

and the smokes and the heroin

just bad to worse.

So about six years ago, she pops back up on my radar,

tells me she regrets what she did to me,

regretted losing me as a friend.

And I thought it was something I did,

didn't love her enough

didn't pay enough attention to her needs.

Turns out she just didn't love herself enough.

Crazy, right?

It happens.

Yeah, right.

She was harboring a lot,

abusive mother, rape, abortion.

Anyway, we started hanging out again just as friends.

I couldn't try that again.

But you wanted to.

She ever got clean,

I'd be the first guy waiting for her.

Six years later?

Still battling.

She’s off most of them.

Just relapses on one.

She doesn't talk to her mother anymore, the rapist is in prison.

So there's that. I don't know.

I don’t know, I just keep thinking, What are you waiting for?

Since she came back, I haven't been able

to entertain the thought of another woman.

Why not?

Deep down inside, I know she still loves me.

Deep down, I know it's there.

I don't know how long I...

How long I can wait for it to come out.

I'm sorry about being a dick earlier.

I was clearly hung over.

You were just such an easy target, I swear,

It's like standing next to the bullseye.

No apology necessary.

Maybe that's part of your problem. Jordan.

What?

Well, you’re so quick to forgive anyone,

That you don't even let them apologize.

I mean, people need to apologize for their bullshit, okay?

Because if you don't, I'm just going to want to do it again.

You enable it.

Now, maybe the situation's the same with uh...

What's her name?

Tisha?

Tania.

Right. Steel trap.

Won't forget it again.

The situation with Tania.

You keep forgiving her bullshit without maybe asking for an apology.

And she just thinks, Wow, this guy's never going to leave me.

Why would I need to go full quit? He’s always going to be around.

You enabled the behavior.

And for what?

I mean.

She did try to kill herself a while back.

Oh, right.

And that's your responsibility. You did that.

I don't know.

Maybe if I listened-

Just stop. Okay. It's not my business.

Honestly,

I'm sorry for my behavior earlier.

Now, you can either accept the apology.

Or don't

Malcolm...

Oh God. Just accept the apology. Or don't.

I accept.

Fantastic.

Congratulations.

Now, is there any of that crap coffee left?

I thought you hated my coffee.

I do. But the Irish cream: so smooth.

I don't know if it's a PH balance thing or what, but it was magic.

Magic!

Hey,

Do you know what your problem is?

Yes.

You're running, Malcolm

Huh?

From your problems.

You're running.

Like you always do.

Like you always did.

Oh, you mean metaphorically.

Can you just be serious for one second?

You want to have a serious conversation about what you think is wrong with me?

What are you, my wife?

I’m your brother.

Since when did that ever mean a goddamn thing before?

No, seriously.

You know, you waltz in and out of this house

the last couple of days like you're going to, what,

Fix everything?

Like Bob the Builder.

More like Dora the Explorer.

She doesn't fix things.

Exactly.

See, I'm fully aware that I'm running, that I always run.

I get it. I do. Okay.

But you want to know why, asshole?

It's because for the last ten years, all I did was sit perfectly still.

Here's the thing.

At least.

I'm facing it.

You don't think I am?

No. God, no. And you know you're not.

You're so busy distracting yourself with everyone else's problems

that you're not bothering to look into a fucking mirror.

With your little Tania dependency and you trying to help me.

I mean, come on. Who do you think you're fooling?

I came here to help us heal.

That's really sweet.

Except for the fact that, um,

Us is broken.

So you trying to help me is a little bit like a plastic hammer,

trying to drive a railroad spike.

All right. Good chat.

Hmm. So smooth.

Don't be alarmed.

I followed you.

That was you? No. No, you were at home when I drove,

there was a car that looked like-Oh, my God, I thought it was Ron Weasley.

I swore it was him.

That was you, master of disguise.

Can I get a ‘93 feather?

You know, I just gave my last class to Luciano Pavarotti.

Or...

A red wine

Any red wine.

Red wine. Come to this bar and order a red wine.

It's classy and I like it. - You’re never classy when you do anything so.

I’m sick of fighting, Malcolm.

You know, so am I.

Maybe if you just left, this wouldn't be a problem.

You just always have to be right, don't you?

Not that I have to be right

It's that I usually am.

Where is all of this hostility coming from?

I love you, Malcolm.

I'll give you love birds some time.

No, it's not. -Thanks, Jimmy.

Appreciate that. We won't let our lover’s spat get in the way of business.

Don't worry.

Who cares?

Just don't like giving people the wrong impression.

Are you worried that he's not going to vote for you in the next election?

I just don't like deception and lying.

It's not part of my faith.

It's not part of my faith.

It is not me.

This is not my faith.

This is a house of spirits.

God is not welcome inside these hallowed walls.

You wouldn't see me drinking in a church.

God is eternal.

Even the gates of Hell cannot keep him out.

You’re right.

I would drink in church, have drunk in church,

been drunk in church. That was a crazy Easter

Those boy scouts never saw those eggs coming.

Religion off the table.

You really think I'm running?

I really don't care.

What are you doing then?

Coping.

Answer for everything.

Answer for every thing.

You know,

when we were kids,

even though you were younger and dumber than me,

I kind of looked up to you.

You just seemed to make friends so much easier than I did.

Come on.

I’d make friends but they just wouldn't stick around.

They were shit.

Well, I always admired your tenacity

and your silver tongue, especially with the girls.

I was just never like that.

That's bullshit. -What?

That one summer concert

where you got up on stage and rocked out to Linkin Park

and then totally made out with Becca Henderson afterwards?

That was awesome.

That was you.

You’re goddamn right it was

She was cute.

What happened to her?

I don’t know. She moved away.

I was going to stalk her on Facebook, and then I thought, ‘nah why?’

Who cares?

She's probably better off.

Yeah. Yeah, she probably is.

You know what I always thought would make me happy?

What?

Finding the right girl,

getting married, having a couple of kids.

Nice house

Maybe a ranch in Montana.

Are you the horse whisperer in this scenario or in a paleontologist or...?

Flatlands are good for digging.

Is that a euphemism?

No.

There’s just something about having somebody to come home to.

And the type of love that kids gives when they're not screaming about ice cream.

You think Tania's that girl?

I don't really know.

I don't think she is, Jordan.

I think she has a dependency on you.

I don’t think she even knows what love really is.

From what you’re telling me about her.

What about me?

Maybe I love her.

I don't think you do.

I mean, I think you do, but not in, like, a wife

kids, ranch in Montana kind of scenario that you just described.

You need someone nice

Little to no luggage.

Baggage?

Yeah. What did I say?

Not ‘baggage’.

Woops.

Well,

wish me luck with that impossible task.

Is that why you went out into the world to find love and happiness?

No.

Then why?

I told you

to find God.

So what exactly constitutes finding God then?

What was the - what was the...

Sign?

I found him in the eyes of everyone I spoke to

in the languages I learned and

the views of glory in the picture books

couldn't even begin to describe

my heart felt full in those moments.

And I questioned how I could feel that from something so foreign.

And then I realized it wasn't.

Foreign to me.

Because it was created by being so vast and powerful.

You know, it's so ironic,

God being the first being that he's such an artist.

He sculpts landscapes and creates animals

and stars in the heavens.

Human beings.

He gives us the ability to grow and to love and

it's not about Bible verses, Malcolm,

it's about what I felt

What would make you happy?

You mean if I could just do anything without any consequences?

Yeah.

One bag,

one change of clothes and some essentials

and just go.

Don't.

Don't look back.

Just venture out into the world that you keep telling me about.

You know, I watched as Dad took on the news of his cancer with a heavy heart.

I watched

as he found out he was going to see

his wife, our mom, soon.

And then I watched his hair fall out.

His weight drop, his appetite disappear.

I watched him turn into a skeleton overnight.

He went from this big, powerful man to a frail shell of one.

And I watched as the cancer kept him alive to survive.

Used him like a host.

And so you tell me you found God out there.

That's great.

I'm so glad for you. I wish I could have been there to see it.

Because let me tell you something:

I've seen the devil.

And he is in the decay of man.

Let's go home, Malcolm.

Why don't you fuck off instead?

Just get the fuck out of here.

I don’t need a goddamn babysitter. I did fine without you before.

I'll do fine without you again.

I promise that. Okay, So just get the fuck out of here.

I'll take care of your wine. I'll pay for that.

I'll pay for the goddamned burden just like I always do.

Again Brother, so just get the fuck out of here, you world traveling prick.

No, no. You know what? Stay. Stick around.

Stick around.

I love to have you here so you can find God somewhere around here

and you can tell us all about it. Would that make you feel good?

Or maybe you could take that information back

to your bitch of a girlfriend, Tania,

and then she could settle down with a nice fella such as yourself.

Sounds like a great story, doesn't it?

- Real nice. - Yeah.

Why don't you send a postcard this time, huh?

Dick.

He's gone.

Problem solved.

Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system.

Hey, where's your karaoke machine, there, Jimmy?

Really?

That's not my name.

I've seen you every single night in here for the past week.

Yeah, but I can't really pronounce. Khaza-khazacan

every time I want a drink.

My name is Elliott.

Is that one ‘T’ or two?

Two.

That's way too complicated, Jimmy, just go with Jimmy.

Jimmy is a beautiful name. It's simpler.

It's probably in the Bible.

I would imagine so.

Did I ever say thank you?

Did I?

You didn't have to.

Exactly.

Everything's going to be okay.

You know, my mom and I, we had a complicated relationship too.

Up until

she was gone. I

just always felt insignificant, like I couldn’t make her proud

or that I had failed her or something.

She's always had something to say to me, and

I didn't understand her.

She didn't understand me.

And it angered me.

And so I pushed her away,

shut her out,

and then she died and

I just had this big hole in my heart,

not just because I lost my mom, but

I realized I was never really angry with her.

I was really just angry with myself

because she cared.

She cared a lot.

And she always knew how to fix things.

So, yeah, it sucks when someone that you love dies

because you not only lose them,

but you just find out all these things about yourself

that aren't pretty

and you think of all the things

that you could have done differently

Or what you could have said.

Because I didn't tell my mom ‘thank you’ either.

Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message.

Oh man.

Today you made my morning coffee just as you had for ten years.

Just the way I liked it.

Today, you added a little sugar because you knew that I had a bad day

at work yesterday.

Today you talked to me about a family trip.

Today you kissed and held me like you knew

what was coming.

Today you told me like you did every day,

“I can't wait to see you tonight.”

Then you kissed me and held me like you knew it was the last time you could

like you knew

The worst day of my life.

She's gone.

Gone to a Heaven, I want to imagine.

Taken so quickly from us.

I don't want to forget the last moments we shared together.

Your... your stupid jokes.

The way you pressed yourself into me when I hugged you.

The way you’d tell me everything was going to be all right.

Christmas,

Your beautiful red hair.

The way that you smiled with your eyes.

All the times between.

You were gone so fast.

You were taken without a goodbye.

You're with God now

I will see you again.

And I love you forever, Peyton.

And I will not fail our boys.

Can I just say something?

Look, I know that

SSSHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.

Just drink the coffee.

Next time, put more grounds in it so that it doesn't taste like

water.

Dammit.

Was that a hint?

Yeah.

Like super strong hint, like the opposite of your coffee.

Hint.

You were right.

I'm right about a lot of things.

Usually everything that pertains to you and I.

So you're going to be way more specific. - Tania.

I'm waiting for her to see what I'm doing.

Waiting for her to be better.

I don't know what to say.

Hashtag obvi.

Duh. Uh, no shit Sherlock, Nah, that’s a little ‘90’s.

I get it.

So what are you going to do?

I don’t know.

Look,

earlier, I didn't mean to be such a

what’s a good word?

Sarcastic jerk?

No, that doesn't describe me at all.

It’s a little too harsh.

Anyway, I'm sorry.

It’s fine.

- You were right. - No, I know.

I mean, I definitely was right.

But I could have been right...

You know, uh, better?

I know what you mean.

I just.

I don't want to have invested all this time in someone

and then have them turn around and...

I don't know, - Use your lessons to love someone else.

Yeah, exactly.

Jordan, that's just people.

Well, it sucks.

Just seems wrong, you know?

I do.

Yeah.

It's like saving money in a bank for someone else to spend.

Or buying an ice cream cone

You know is going to melt before you eat it.

Or screwing a chick knowing she’s going to give you the clap.

What? - Don't worry about it. I'm clean.

It was a false alarm.

Well that's all altruistic and divine, I guess.

But it's it's just not...

Not fair.

I just

thought things would be different.

Like what?

This life.

People.

People just

aren't what I thought they would be.

What would you want them to be?

Better.

Well, they're not.

People are selfish assholes.

They're super weird about relationships.

You know what? This is crap.

I can't drink this. No.

It’s not that bad. I tried it.

Yeah. Did you throw up afterwards?

Because that's not supposed to happen.

I mean, I don't like coffee anyway, so let's.

So, let’s take this girl I knew, Allison.

Really Pretty nice, smart girl next door type.

We worked together a long time ago, and, well,

we were just acquaintances, but I had a big crush on her, so fast forward.

I hadn't seen her in, like, five years. down dollar store.

Down at the dollar store, And who do you think I should run into?

Allison!

Wow. I'm talking.

Anyway, she remembered me.

She said I looked good.

Which, you know, obviously

went as far as asking for my number.

And you said, no?

Are you fucking kidding me?

It took everything in my power

not to just grab her phone, put my number in, and then text myself 12 times.

Love you, love you, love you, love you. I love you.

That would have been creepy. - No, I would have been charming.

Nah, Just creepy. -Well, endearing.

A crazy coincidence.

And she seemed super, super into me and that's really cool.

But in the back of my mind, I'm thinking

this is the same girl that, despite being really,

really sweet, never really gave me the time of day.

I thought, ‘no, no no I'm wrong.

‘Maybe it's a sign from the universe.’

So what happened?

Three days later, I shoot her a text.

Tell me you asked her out.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I totally did, like, super asked her out.

I said, ‘Hey, hope you’re doing well.

Good to see you.

Would you like to get a drink or coffee?’

Question mark, smile face with little carrot nose.

And?

Twenty... four

hours later she gets back to me.

‘Hey, not ignoring you.

Just been super busy. I would love to.’

Exclamation point.

‘Let me check my schedule.

Get back to you. Dot, dot, dot.’

Well. She wasn't totally blowing you off

What next?

Nothing. Were you paying attention to the preamble of the story.

Nothing happened at all. It was two years ago.

Okay. Haven't heard from her since.

It was just some random moment that meant nothing and led to nowhere

It didn't even teach a weird lesson that I was supposed to know.

The point of my story is that people don't mean to do inconsiderate things.

It's just sort of the way they are, and I can never figure out why.

And so I stopped trying.

Maybe she was meant to put you through this

so you could see how far you'd grown.

God, you just missed the point of the story entirely, like...

No, I think you did.

- Nuh uh. - Uh huh.

Nuh uh. Uh huh.

Yeah.

What do you think is the lesson that you're supposed to learn from Lauren?

Tania? -Whatever.

Maybe.

Maybe I need to bear this cross to the end.

I mean, God

guided her back to me for a reason.

Maybe she is my flock.

Okay.

Hey, Shepherd,

This here.

This is what you should learn from.

It's better.

Hey, Malcolm. Good morning.

Morning, Patrick.

Oh, I'm not going to be able to make it Thursday.

Sorry.

Would it have anything to do with you waking up

ass naked on the concrete this morning or just general flakiness?

Can it be both?

I'm happy to see you're well on your way to become a full blown alcoholic.

It's inspiring. -Yeah.

Everybody has goals, right?

Next week then.

Yeah, sure.

You look like shit, man.

I know.

Hey, I was beginning to worry.

Yes, this is he.

No, no, I'm.

I'm out of town right now.

Yeah,

She has a sister. Caura.

She's a local.

Okay.

Thank you.

Dad?

Malcolm. Hey.

The afterlife, it takes a few years off.

Look, I got my hair back.

This isn't like you, Malcolm.

You always have something to say.

You gotta say something.

We don't have a lot of time.

This is a dream, right?

It's all a dream.

Feels pretty real to me.

Maybe. Maybe not.

I don’t know, what do you want it to be?

I don't remember you taking us to a place like this when you were

not as dead.

Not as dead? No, that's true.

No, this is a very special place.

This is where...

Where I proposed to your mom

right here.

I remember I called her right after work, and I asked her to meet me here.

You know, someplace new. Someplace beautiful.

And, well, it was almost dark,

but she showed up anyway.

Oh, man.

Soon as I saw her though,

Wow, your mother.

I didn't hesitate.

I asked. She said yes.

And that was that.

Her fate was sealed.

I wish that I got to know her better.

You always said she was

perfect.

Uh, yeah, she's okay.

She's perfect.

Dad, I

I am so sorry.

For what?

I couldn't save you.

I couldn't help you. I didn't even help you.

I did nothing for you.

I was a burden. I just. I didn't. I made everything worse.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Malcolm. No, no, no, no

You don't have anything to be sorry about.

Look, you did everything a human being could possibly do, and then some.

I love you so much for it, son.

You even changed my bed pan.

And not even your brother would have done that.

My brother? Useless, right?

Oh, no, no no. Come on. I didn't mean it like that.

I mean, don't be so hard on him.

He has his reasons.

No, he abandoned us.

Where was he when you needed him?

I failed you.

Come on, what are you talking about?

I put you through so much.

I broke you down.

A father shouldn't do that to his sons.

You didn’t break me down, Dad.

No, no, no. -Yes I did.

- It was all me. - I was.

No, just look.

Just listen to me.

I regret so much leaving you behind.

But even more than that, I regret how I did it.

I should have been a better father than that.

But you know what? It's too late for me.

It's too late for me to do anything about it. But

it's not too late for you and your brother.

You still have each other.

Nope. -I didn't screw that up. Thank God..

And he needs you.

He does, Malcolm.

He needs you just as much as you need him.

He's doing just fine on his own. Dad.

He's fine. Okay? Trust me.

No, he’s not.

No he’s not, son.

I'm sorry. I have to go.

You can stay. You don't have to go. You stay here.

You can stay, come on. Please don’t leave me.

It's okay.

I love you son.

Love you too.

Can you do me a favor?

Yeah. -Tell your brother I I love him, too.

Sure.

Okay. I have to go.

You don’t have to go. Please don’t go again.

Please don’t leave me again.

I'm always with you.

You don’t have to go.

I’m always with you.

NOOO!!!

No.

Hey, Opie,

Did you get eggs?

Yeah.

You okay?

Everything's fine. - Really?

You don't look good.

I don’t?

Yeah, I mean, you don't normally look good, but now you look

worse.

Can we go for a drive?

Yeah.

So we come here for a reason, or just.

General, you want to kill me, hack me up because I don't see a hatchet anywhere.

I just

didn't want to be alone.

You're afraid you're gonna lock the keys in the car again? Aren’t you?

Is everything just a joke to you?

Eh.

Because it’s getting real old. -Is it?

Well, it's a good thing that nobody asked you to stay here, then, isn't it?

What are you still doing here, anyway?

Come on. Why?

I came here to help you.

Help me.

That what you think’s going on here?

You're helping me.

Look, I'll say this.

So like the hundred thousandth time, I did fine without you before.

I'll do fine the rest of my life.

You're in denial about what Dad's death is doing to you.

You need me.

Wow. Need you.

That's cute.

‘Need you.’

I don't need you, Jordan.

Nobody needs you. One guy did

He doesn’t need you anymore.

Tania doesn't need you.

Tania killed herself.

Instead of calling me,

she just hung herself in the closet.

You were right.

She didn't need me.

I didn't mean anything to her.

I am so sorry.

Why? You didn't know her.

That doesn't mean - It does, Malcolm, it does.

You don't care about anyone but yourself.

You say the words to mask your shame, but you have empathy for nobody,

For you, you mean, right?

I don’t.

Yeah. Yeah. That's what you want.

You want empathy for your bullshit situation.

The one that you plainly put yourself into.

You want to lash out about Tania's death why don’t you use a fucking punching bag.

Because I'm not that guy. - Really?

Thanks a lot, brother.

Oh, good. We're going to play that card. Great.

Where were you the last goddamn years while Dad was dying, bro?

You know, all he really ever wanted was to know that the two people

he cared about most in this world actually gave a shit about him.

And what did you do?

You drop by a holiday or two per year, The occasional phone call.

Nice. Real nice.

Hey, you know those postcards

you sent made great kindling when he was freezing every night.

What kind of fucking empathy is that?

I don't have to explain myself to you.

Yeah, you do.

Because if you want me to give a flying fuck about your problems,

you're going to have to explain to me why it is exactly that you disappeared.

Don’t give me this ‘I was going out and find God’ bullshit.

Because I was afraid of becoming you.

What are you talking about?

You might have watched Dad break down, but I watched it happen to you,

and there was nothing that I could do about it.

You turned into a drunk.

I couldn’t sit by and watch Dad die because I knew I'd lose my faith just like you did.

Jordan, I was already on that path.

Okay?

Dad's dying was just the icing on the cake

for me.

And I know I'm not perfect.

I know I don't always do the right thing.

I don't even never really say the right things.

I just. I'm working on me.

Okay?

And right now, I'm good with who I am.

I'll get there.

But right now, I'm good with me.

You said you found the devil.

I didn't want to find him.

I couldn't sit by and watch our dad wither,

because if I did, I knew I'd lose.

The only thing important me. And that's my faith in God.

What about your faith in family?

You ran away like a scared little boy. - It didn't work, Malcolm!

I found God's creation.

But I didn't find God.

I had an altruistic moment of no responsibility.

And I knew that it was because I ran away from Dad.

I couldn't stand

losing him because I didn't want to blame God for it.

What about now with Tania?

- I don't blame him. - Oh, yeah?

You hate him now, don't you?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's being unfair and taking away your little pet project, your little hope

for love and future and Montana and all that bullshit.

All that time you invested in her future.

And for what?

Fucking nothing.

It was a waste. -No!

You want me to embrace God again

so that you can be okay with being gone for so long, huh?

That’s what this is really all about, everything you're doing,

it's so that you can say, ‘Well, God's love is so strong and wonderful that

even when my brother turned away from him, I saved him.’

‘I brought him back.’

That's what you want.

Shit.

I watch everything.

Everything I care for just crumble around me

For a split second,

I blamed God.

I really did.

But then I realized he's not real and shit just happens.

Oh, you never cared about faith.

You were too busy playing make believe Christian.

That’s bullshit. I went to Chick-Fil-A all the time.

Jokes. Everything's a joke with you.

How about this?

Every goddamn day I went to the church to pray that Dad wouldn’t at least suffer.

And you know what happened?

He suffered more! Every fucking day

I went to a church to

just pray that God would take him away

before he completely deteriorated to nothing.

And you know what happened?

He let him live longer.

This little attack of unfairness.

The one where a drug addict finally let her weakness get the better of her.

That isn’t God.

That's just life.

That's shit happening.

Okay?

She was a victim who couldn't overcome her weaknesses.

She couldn't save herself.

And you are just a little boy who can't save anyone.

Oh, good.

Yeah.

You know, I take it back.

You know what Tania was?

She was just a dumb whore who's now in Hell

where she belongs.

Did you just slap me?

Sorry, I didn't know what else to do.

That's all right.

I didn't realize.

All these years I had a little sister.

No, I'm not a sister. You’re the sister.

I'm not the sister. You are!!

Don’t throw a pine cone at me!

I'm sorry, Malcolm.

I have failed you.

The hell are you talking about?

You were my brother. I loved you

What are you quoting?

That's from something.

Star Wars.

Episode.. what.. 2?

No, it's episode three, my..

My favorite one.

Yeah, the prequels would be your favorite

You saw Darth Vader in that one.

Darth Vader is in the originals.

Whatever.

It means you're an idiot.

Oh, I don't want to fight anymore.

Yeah, You know,

We, uh.

Why don't we put our pinecones down?

Okay. - We can just sort of talk about this, like,

rational, mature.

Wait, wait, wait!

Dammit. Dammit. Dammit. Dammit.

Give me the key! -No, stop it!

-Get off of me.

Give me that!

Oh, come on!

Jordan!

Come on man.

It's over, Malcolm.

I have the high ground.

Stop quoting Star Wars!

I need a smoke.

So have one.

Why do you need my permission,

It’s broken.

It’s broken in half.

It’s pink!

You really are like my little sister.

I'm so sorry, Malcolm.

I'm so sorry.

What are you talking about?

I wasn’t there for Dad.

I just let him die alone.

And then Tania killed herself because of me.

And I took it all out on you.

And you didn’t deserve that.

You didn’t deserve any of it.

I'm sorry.

I’m just sorry.

It’s all right.

You didn’t deserve any of it.

I’m so sorry.

Just one bag.

You weren't kidding.

No.

It’s what gave me the idea, actually.

Something Dad gave you?

Actually, no,

Funny enough, I bought it out of a catalog.

Like, not online.

No. Why?

Well, strange you get it from a catalog when we live in the 21st century.

Oh, you know what happened?

I was at the hospital where Dad was getting his chemo

sessions that you missed all of.

And I was really bored, as you can imagine, forgot my book.

So I picked up this magazine and started flipping through.

I found this page, saw the bag, thought, Hey, that's pretty cool.

Don't know what I could use it for.

So called up the lady, really sweet.

Sounded like an older woman.

I don't know if her name was Edna or Alma or Edith or something.

With an ‘E’, could have been Tracy. I have no idea.

Point is really nice. Very helpful.

I got that bag shipped really fast.

Oh, man. Good customer service.

Hard to find. -Super hard to find.

I want to give you something.

Dad gave that to me before I left

A Bible from the 1800s.

Figure it might make for a good, good luck charm.

No, I'm sure it'll make for good reading.

Look, I just want to say-

You don't have to say you're sorry again.

You already did.

I got the bruises to prove it.

Well, just don't forget that you have family in the world still.

Okay?

Send me a postcard.

Oklahoma or something.

I think I can-Oklahoma. Really?

You picked Oklahoma for me to go to.

Look man, the world's your oyster. I don’t know.

You picked the most landlocked state in all of the world.

I mean, maybe it'll be fun. There's tornadoes there.

Those are cool.

Rest in peace. Bill Paxton.

I'll tell you what,

If you end up selling this place or anything, it it just do me a favor.

And don't keep

any of it for me.

Just.

I think it's too much.

So what are you going to do?

I don't know, actually.

Work through losing Tania, what that means

if you're ever in my neck of the woods, give me a call.

I promise I'll learn to make a Malcolm flavored cup of coffee.

That sounds amazing.

“Malcolm Coffee,

Welcome home.”

“Malcolm Coffee.

Run away from your problems.”

“Malcolm Coffee.

Irresistable.”

“Malcolm Coffee.

Savor the guilt trip.”

“Malcolm Coffee.

Always right, always.”

“Malcolm Coffee.

When you just got to be a dick.”

Oh, man, that's a good one.

- That needs to happen. - Oh, man, that's a good one.

- Do one for me. - No I really gotta go.

Hey,

God is with you, Malcolm.

Even if you can't see him.

You know

Tania

Dad. Me.

None of it's your fault.

So just

Don’t do that to yourself.

Believe me, it doesn't help anything.

What are we... ohhhh

This is happening.

Just not comfortable.

Just let it happen.

Brothers. Brothers.

Oh, God. Just like that.

You run a marathon just now? -Shhhh

Hi.

Hi.

This was a good idea.

I know.

I've got a ton of them.

Just one good idea after the other.

After the other.

So I just need to get some gas and then maybe we can stop in a diner

on the way out.

Cool. I like diners. Especially their coffee.

Yeah?

What's that?

“And so begins a journey new with my friend.

“My love makes us two.”

Then where to love?

Anywhere with you.

You ready?

Yeah.