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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,535 --> 00:00:06,139 ♪ I LIKE COFFEE, TEA'S YOUR BAG ♪ 2 00:00:06,239 --> 00:00:08,108 ♪ THOUGH IT MAKES NO SENSE, IT'S TRUE ♪ 3 00:00:08,208 --> 00:00:10,610 ♪ THERE'S NO ME WITHOUT YOU ♪ 4 00:00:10,710 --> 00:00:15,482 {\an8}Brad Garrett: 'TIL DEATH IS FILMED IN FRONT OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE. 5 00:00:15,582 --> 00:00:18,985 {\an8}GOOD MORNING. MORNING. 6 00:00:19,085 --> 00:00:21,521 {\an8}IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU'D LIKE TO SAY? 7 00:00:21,621 --> 00:00:22,856 {\an8}HUH? 8 00:00:22,956 --> 00:00:25,492 {\an8}OH. NICE WORK LAST NIGHT. 9 00:00:25,592 --> 00:00:26,860 {\an8}AND BY THE WAY, I PROMISE. 10 00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:29,262 {\an8}NEXT TIME, IT'S ALL ABOUT YOU. 11 00:00:29,362 --> 00:00:31,398 {\an8}[CELL PHONE RINGS] 12 00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:35,568 {\an8}HELLO? HEY, MOM. 13 00:00:35,668 --> 00:00:38,038 {\an8}YEAH. THANK YOU. OH, YOU KNOW I AM. 14 00:00:38,138 --> 00:00:40,907 {\an8}I ALWAYS LOVE MY BIRTHDAY. 15 00:00:41,007 --> 00:00:43,043 {\an8}YEAH. 16 00:00:43,143 --> 00:00:44,978 {\an8}HEY, DADDY. OH--NO, YOU DON'T HAVE TO S-- 17 00:00:45,078 --> 00:00:46,479 {\an8}OH, WOW. YOU'RE SINGING. 18 00:00:46,579 --> 00:00:49,916 {\an8}MOM ON THE GUITAR. THAT'S GREAT, THANK YOU. 19 00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:59,359 {\an8}THAT WAS GREAT, GUYS. BEAUTIFUL HA-- 20 00:00:59,459 --> 00:01:03,129 {\an8}OK. WE'RE GONNA DO IT AGAIN IN SPANISH. 21 00:01:23,049 --> 00:01:25,218 {\an8}OW! 22 00:01:25,318 --> 00:01:26,986 {\an8}ALL RIGHT. THANKS, GUYS. 23 00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:28,254 {\an8}I LOVE YOU, TOO. 24 00:01:28,354 --> 00:01:30,890 {\an8}ALL RIGHT. BYE. 25 00:01:30,990 --> 00:01:35,095 {\an8}THERE'S THE BIRTHDAY GIRL! 26 00:01:36,463 --> 00:01:38,898 {\an8}YOU REMEMBERED. WELL, IF I DIDN'T REMEMBER, 27 00:01:38,998 --> 00:01:40,867 {\an8}HOW WOULD I HAVE HAD... 28 00:01:40,967 --> 00:01:42,469 {\an8}THIS? 29 00:01:42,569 --> 00:01:44,938 {\an8}WHAT IS THAT? ONE OF YOUR HOMEMADE COUPONS? 30 00:01:45,038 --> 00:01:46,206 {\an8}PFF! WHA--? 31 00:01:46,306 --> 00:01:48,108 {\an8}H-H-HELLO. YOU KNOW WHAT? 32 00:01:48,208 --> 00:01:51,511 {\an8}YOU DO NOT KNOW ME AT ALL, OK? 33 00:01:51,611 --> 00:01:52,712 {\an8}THIS COULD BE ANYTHING, MISSY. 34 00:01:52,812 --> 00:01:53,980 {\an8}THAT'S RIGHT, ANYTHING. 35 00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:55,682 {\an8}HOW DO YOU KNOW IT ISN'T A, UH-- 36 00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:59,385 {\an8}WEEKEND GETAWAY TO FRANCE? 37 00:01:59,486 --> 00:02:01,921 {\an8}OH, MY GOD. EDDIE, YOU DIDN'T. 38 00:02:02,021 --> 00:02:04,357 {\an8}I DID NOT. 39 00:02:06,292 --> 00:02:07,460 {\an8}AHEM. "ONE MANI-PEDI 40 00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:11,131 {\an8}"FROM YOUR FAVORITE MANNY, EDDIE." 41 00:02:11,231 --> 00:02:13,066 {\an8}YOU SEE THAT? THE MINUTE I REALIZED 42 00:02:13,166 --> 00:02:15,835 {\an8}THAT "PEDI" RHYMED WITH "EDDIE", WELL, 43 00:02:15,935 --> 00:02:19,539 {\an8}THE WHOLE DARN THING JUST FELL TOGETHER. 44 00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:22,275 {\an8}THANK YOU. YEAH, I THINK THAT I'M JUST GONNA 45 00:02:22,375 --> 00:02:24,878 {\an8}FILE THIS WITH THE OTHER 157 COUPONS 46 00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:26,212 {\an8}YOU'VE MADE ME OVER THE YEARS. 47 00:02:26,312 --> 00:02:28,681 HEY, HONEY. THOSE COUPONS ARE-ARE 48 00:02:28,781 --> 00:02:31,718 THOUGHTFUL AND- AND PERSONAL GIFTS 49 00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:33,586 THAT ARE CAREFULLY DESIGNED 50 00:02:33,686 --> 00:02:37,624 TO-TO FIT YOUR SPECIFIC NEEDS AT THE TIME GIVEN. 51 00:02:37,724 --> 00:02:39,526 NO, THEY'RE NOT. YOU'RE ALWAYS GONNA 52 00:02:39,626 --> 00:02:41,161 MASSAGE SOME PART OF ME 53 00:02:41,261 --> 00:02:42,762 OR GIVE ME SOME MEAL IN BED. 54 00:02:42,862 --> 00:02:44,664 OH, AND BY THE WAY, A COUPON FOR SEX 55 00:02:44,764 --> 00:02:47,367 IS REALLY A COUPON FOR YOU. 56 00:02:48,868 --> 00:02:52,839 OH, SOMEBODY THINKS PRETTY HIGHLY OF HERSELF. 57 00:02:52,939 --> 00:02:55,508 YOU KNOW, I-I WISH THAT JUST ONCE 58 00:02:55,608 --> 00:02:57,477 YOU WOULD ACTUALLY PUT THE TIME IN 59 00:02:57,577 --> 00:02:59,012 AND GO OUT AND BUY ME A GIFT 60 00:02:59,112 --> 00:03:00,547 INSTEAD OF SCRIBBLING SOMETHING 61 00:03:00,647 --> 00:03:03,316 ON A PIECE OF PAPER AT THE LAST MINUTE. 62 00:03:03,416 --> 00:03:06,419 IS THAT WHAT YOU THINK I DID? 63 00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:09,722 YOU HAVE MAGIC MARKER ON YOUR LIP. 64 00:03:09,822 --> 00:03:11,958 MM-HMM. HERE? 65 00:03:12,058 --> 00:03:14,327 LOOK, LISTEN, IN MY DEFENSE, DARLING, 66 00:03:14,427 --> 00:03:16,796 YOU'RE IMPOSSIBLE TO SHOP FOR. 67 00:03:16,896 --> 00:03:19,766 HA-HA! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JOY! HA HA HA! 68 00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:22,235 THANK YOU, KENNY. 69 00:03:22,335 --> 00:03:23,836 OH! WHOO! 70 00:03:23,937 --> 00:03:25,138 YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE. 71 00:03:25,238 --> 00:03:27,040 YEAH, YOU MOST DEFINITELY SHOULDN'T HAVE. 72 00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:28,608 [TEARING PAPER] 73 00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:30,143 I'VE BEEN SITTING ON THAT GIFT FOREVER, 74 00:03:30,243 --> 00:03:31,844 JUST WAITING FOR THE DAY WHEN YOU COULD FINALLY OPEN IT. 75 00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:33,079 [GIGGLING] OK. 76 00:03:33,179 --> 00:03:37,483 OH, HO-HO, MY GOD. 77 00:03:37,584 --> 00:03:41,020 THIS IS FUNNY. 2 MONTHS AGO, WE WERE HAVING LUNCH. 78 00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:42,922 AND-AND AFTERWARDS, WE WALKED BY THIS BOUTIQUE 79 00:03:43,022 --> 00:03:44,891 AND THIS SCARF WAS IN THE WINDOW. 80 00:03:44,991 --> 00:03:47,460 AND THEN I WENT BACK BECAUSE I LEFT MY COAT IN THE RESTAURANT. 81 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:51,731 BUT I DIDN'T LEAVE MY COAT IN THE RESTAURANT. HA HA HA. 82 00:03:51,831 --> 00:03:53,132 AND THEN, I WENT BACK 83 00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:55,735 TO GO GET THE SCARF THE NEXT DAY, 84 00:03:55,835 --> 00:03:56,669 AND IT WAS GONE. 85 00:03:56,769 --> 00:03:58,438 BECAUSE I ALREADY BOUGHT IT! 86 00:03:58,538 --> 00:03:59,839 [BOTH LAUGHING] 87 00:03:59,939 --> 00:04:03,810 YOU DO KNOW THAT SHE AND I ARE TOGETHER, RIGHT? 88 00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:05,945 DON'T WORRY, I KNOW THE RULES-- 89 00:04:06,045 --> 00:04:09,082 NOTHING SERIOUS 'TIL AFTER YOU DIE. 90 00:04:12,418 --> 00:04:13,686 LOOK AT HIS FACE. 91 00:04:13,786 --> 00:04:15,054 OH-OH, AND BY THE WAY, 92 00:04:15,154 --> 00:04:17,156 NICE JOB WITH THE CHRISTMAS WRAP, HUH? 93 00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:20,360 YOU COULDN'T POP FOR THE-- FOR THE BIRTHDAY STUFF? 94 00:04:20,460 --> 00:04:22,061 WELL, ACTUALLY, IT SAYS "JOY TO THE WORLD". 95 00:04:22,161 --> 00:04:24,163 I THOUGHT IT'D BE A NICE PUN ON JOY'S NAME. 96 00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:25,999 OH, LET ME SEE THAT. 97 00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:28,901 GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE. 98 00:04:29,002 --> 00:04:31,204 YOU'RE TOO MUCH. YOU ARE TOO MUCH! 99 00:04:31,304 --> 00:04:33,706 HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JOY! THANK YOU, KENNY. 100 00:04:33,806 --> 00:04:37,176 HA HA! SEE? NOT THAT HARD. 101 00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:38,611 HONEY, LOOK. LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING. 102 00:04:38,711 --> 00:04:40,513 I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO APOLOGIZE FOR MY COUPONS. 103 00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:43,283 THOSE-THOSE LITTLE MAGICAL SLIPS OF PAPER 104 00:04:43,383 --> 00:04:44,851 ARE-ARE MADE WITH LOVE. 105 00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:47,787 YOU WROTE IT ON THE BACK OF OUR PHONE BILL. 106 00:04:48,921 --> 00:04:52,025 REDUCE, REUSE, RECYCLE. 107 00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:54,494 YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY TREES IT TOOK 108 00:04:54,594 --> 00:04:56,562 TO MAKE THAT SCARF? NONE. 109 00:04:56,663 --> 00:04:59,065 OH, NOW YOU'RE A SCIENTIST. 110 00:04:59,165 --> 00:05:00,400 BY THE WAY, IT'S YOUR OWN FAULT 111 00:05:00,500 --> 00:05:03,469 THAT YOU DON'T CASH IN ON ANY OF THOSE COUPONS. 112 00:05:03,569 --> 00:05:06,372 REALLY? ALL RIGHT, COUPON BOB. 113 00:05:06,472 --> 00:05:07,674 I'M GONNA CALL YOUR BLUFF. 114 00:05:07,774 --> 00:05:11,110 IN FACT, THIS WEEKEND, FOR MY BIRTHDAY, 115 00:05:11,210 --> 00:05:14,247 WE'RE GONNA DO EVERYTHING IN THIS BOX. 116 00:05:14,347 --> 00:05:16,349 AWESOME. 117 00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:29,862 WAIT, YOU MISSED A SPOT. WHAT? 118 00:05:29,962 --> 00:05:32,732 RIGHT THERE ON THE LITTLE PINKIE TOE, THERE. 119 00:05:34,934 --> 00:05:37,003 JUST DAB IT. 120 00:05:37,103 --> 00:05:39,172 JUST DAB IT. 121 00:05:39,272 --> 00:05:42,041 THAT'S IT. THANK YOU. 122 00:05:42,141 --> 00:05:45,745 OK, NOW BLOW IT DRY. REALLY? 123 00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:48,881 HEY. YOUR WORDS, NOT MINE. 124 00:05:49,916 --> 00:05:52,485 [EXHALES] 125 00:05:52,585 --> 00:05:54,320 [BLOWS] 126 00:05:54,420 --> 00:05:56,856 THANK YOU. ALL RIGHT. LET'S SEE 127 00:05:56,956 --> 00:05:59,625 WHAT IS ON TAP FOR THIS AFTERNOON. 128 00:05:59,726 --> 00:06:03,796 OH-HO-HO, THIS SHOULD BE INTERESTING. 129 00:06:03,896 --> 00:06:06,065 "ANNIVERSARY, 1994." 130 00:06:06,165 --> 00:06:08,601 AHEM. JACKPOT. 131 00:06:10,403 --> 00:06:11,704 WELL, I COULD MAYBE DO THE FIRST SENTENCE, 132 00:06:11,804 --> 00:06:13,439 BUT WITH MY KNEES THE WAY THEY ARE, 133 00:06:13,539 --> 00:06:17,176 I'D HAVE TO BRING IN A COLLEGE KID TO DO THE REST. 134 00:06:17,276 --> 00:06:19,946 WORKS FOR ME. 135 00:06:21,681 --> 00:06:24,484 ALL RIGHT. LET'S SEE. 136 00:06:24,584 --> 00:06:27,253 OH. HERE'S AN OLDIE BUT A GOODIE. 137 00:06:27,353 --> 00:06:32,358 GUESS WHO IS DOING ALL THE HOUSEHOLD CHORES FOR A MONTH. 138 00:06:32,458 --> 00:06:35,428 A MONTH? THERE'S NO WAY I WOULD'VE EVER-- 139 00:06:35,528 --> 00:06:38,664 STUPID 90s EDDIE. THIS IS--UGH. 140 00:06:38,765 --> 00:06:40,500 ALL RIGHT. WELL, I WILL LET YOU 141 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:42,869 GET STARTED ON THIS LAUNDRY-- OH! 142 00:06:42,969 --> 00:06:45,638 AND I WILL BE UPSTAIRS AWAITING MY... 143 00:06:45,738 --> 00:06:49,008 "HOMEMADE SCONES AND EROTIC SCARF DANCE". 144 00:06:49,108 --> 00:06:51,377 AND LOOK AT THAT. YOU DOTTED THE "I" IN "EROTIC" 145 00:06:51,477 --> 00:06:52,845 WITH A LITTLE HEART. 146 00:06:52,945 --> 00:06:56,949 I WAS SO WHIPPED LAST CENTURY. 147 00:07:00,219 --> 00:07:01,287 HEY, WHAT'S UP, EDDIE? 148 00:07:01,387 --> 00:07:03,589 BIG TROUBLE, MAN. BIG TROUBLE. 149 00:07:03,689 --> 00:07:04,924 WHY? WHAT'S GOING ON? 150 00:07:05,024 --> 00:07:07,794 WELL, FOR JOY'S BIRTHDAY I MADE HER A COUPON. 151 00:07:07,894 --> 00:07:09,395 A COUPON? IT'S A PROMISE 152 00:07:09,495 --> 00:07:11,964 THAT I'LL DO SOMETHING THOUGHTFUL FOR HER IN THE FUTURE. 153 00:07:12,064 --> 00:07:14,033 LIKE WHAT? GET HER AN ACTUAL GIFT? 154 00:07:14,133 --> 00:07:16,669 PEOPLE LOVE COUPONS, KENNY. ALL RIGHT? 155 00:07:16,769 --> 00:07:20,540 SHE HATED IT, RIGHT? LIKE YOU CAN'T BELIEVE. 156 00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:21,808 SO GET HER A REAL GIFT. 157 00:07:21,908 --> 00:07:23,810 MAKE ALL THIS GO AWAY. YOU KNOW? 158 00:07:23,910 --> 00:07:24,844 WHAT DOES SHE LIKE? 159 00:07:24,944 --> 00:07:26,612 WELL, CHEAP BOOZE AND MAGAZINES. 160 00:07:26,712 --> 00:07:30,316 OOH, SHE LOVES WHEN SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS TO HER FRIENDS. 161 00:07:30,416 --> 00:07:31,451 COME ON. WHAT ELSE? 162 00:07:31,551 --> 00:07:33,319 AH, SHE- SHE'S ALWAYS MENTIONING 163 00:07:33,419 --> 00:07:35,521 THESE, UH, V. PATEL DESIGNER BAGS 164 00:07:35,621 --> 00:07:38,391 THAT ALL THOSE ACTRESSES ARE CARRYING ON TV. 165 00:07:38,491 --> 00:07:40,259 SO GET HER ONE OF THOSE. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 166 00:07:40,359 --> 00:07:42,361 THEY'RE, LIKE, $2,000. IF I HAD THAT KINDA MONEY, 167 00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:45,097 WE'D BE HAVING THIS CONVERSATION ON A GOLF COURSE 168 00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:48,334 AT A CLUB THAT NEITHER YOU OR I COULD GET INTO. 169 00:07:48,434 --> 00:07:49,669 HA HA. YOU GOT THAT RIGHT. 170 00:07:49,769 --> 00:07:50,770 GIMME THAT. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 171 00:07:50,870 --> 00:07:52,238 [BOTH LAUGHING] 172 00:07:52,338 --> 00:07:54,073 NO, MAN, DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE PURSE, MAN. 173 00:07:54,173 --> 00:07:56,409 I GOT A GUY. YOU GOT A GUY? 174 00:07:56,509 --> 00:07:58,311 I GOT A GUY. RAY-RAY DOWNTOWN. 175 00:07:58,411 --> 00:08:00,446 GET YOU THAT EXACT SAME PURSE FOR A REASONABLE PRICE. 176 00:08:00,546 --> 00:08:03,382 THE EXACT SAME? RAY-RAY'S STUFF IS TOP SHELF. 177 00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:05,618 REMEMBER THOSE ITALIAN LOAFERS I GOT YOU LAST YEAR 178 00:08:05,718 --> 00:08:07,320 THAT YOU LOVED SO-SO MUCH? 179 00:08:07,420 --> 00:08:09,489 THOSE ARE, LIKE, THE NICEST THINGS I OWN. 180 00:08:09,589 --> 00:08:11,724 $7.00. 181 00:08:13,426 --> 00:08:14,660 [EXHALES] OK. 182 00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:15,928 LOOK, I DON'T KNOW. SHOULD I REALLY BE 183 00:08:16,028 --> 00:08:17,129 BUYING JOY A KNOCK-OFF PURSE 184 00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:18,931 AND PASSING IT OFF AS REAL? 185 00:08:19,031 --> 00:08:20,366 HEY, IF THE REAL YOU COULD AFFORD THE REAL PURSE, 186 00:08:20,466 --> 00:08:21,734 WE'D BE IN A REAL STORE. 187 00:08:21,834 --> 00:08:22,835 [CURTAINS OPENING] 188 00:08:22,935 --> 00:08:25,438 WELCOME TO CHANG'S TCHOTCHKES. 189 00:08:25,538 --> 00:08:27,306 WE'RE HAVING BIG BLOWOUT! 190 00:08:27,406 --> 00:08:30,510 WE'RE HERE TO SEE RAY-RAY. 191 00:08:30,610 --> 00:08:33,112 YOU A COP? HA HA. NO, I'M-- 192 00:08:33,212 --> 00:08:34,347 I'M A HISTORY TEACHER. 193 00:08:34,447 --> 00:08:36,749 YOU LOOK LIKE COP. NO COP. 194 00:08:36,849 --> 00:08:38,518 TURN AROUND. EXCUSE ME? 195 00:08:38,618 --> 00:08:41,654 TURN AROUND! OK. 196 00:08:41,754 --> 00:08:43,456 O-OK, THAT'S, UH-- 197 00:08:43,556 --> 00:08:45,258 THOSE ARE MY KEYS. 198 00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:46,526 THAT'S ME. 199 00:08:46,626 --> 00:08:48,127 STILL ME. 200 00:08:48,227 --> 00:08:49,228 UM, OK. 201 00:08:49,328 --> 00:08:52,098 HE'S CLEAN. OK. BACK ROOM. 202 00:08:55,434 --> 00:08:57,203 HEY, SUBURBS. WHEN WE GET TO THE BACK, 203 00:08:57,303 --> 00:09:00,339 LET ME DO ALL THE TALKING BECAUSE RAY-RAY WILL EAT YOU ALIVE. 204 00:09:00,439 --> 00:09:01,741 LOOK, I'M A NATURAL NEGOTIATOR. 205 00:09:01,841 --> 00:09:04,644 AND I KNOW HOW TO PLAY THE PART. 206 00:09:04,744 --> 00:09:06,579 LOOK. 207 00:09:06,679 --> 00:09:09,448 HOW DO I LOOK? LIKE A SCHMUCK. 208 00:09:16,822 --> 00:09:18,691 KENNY! WHAT'S GOIN' ON, MAN? 209 00:09:18,791 --> 00:09:21,827 SAME HUSTLE, BABY. WHAT UP, FOOL? 210 00:09:23,829 --> 00:09:24,897 THIS IS MY FRIEND EDDIE. 211 00:09:24,997 --> 00:09:27,733 THEY CALL ME E-TRAIN. 212 00:09:27,833 --> 00:09:29,468 ALL RIGHT, E-TRAIN. 213 00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:31,404 WHAT CAN I GET FOR YOU? 214 00:09:31,504 --> 00:09:34,373 LADIES' PURSE. 215 00:09:34,473 --> 00:09:36,175 YOU GOT ANY V. PATELS IN? 216 00:09:36,275 --> 00:09:37,710 TODAY'S YOUR LUCKY DAY, GENTLEMEN. 217 00:09:37,810 --> 00:09:41,914 WE JUST GOT A BRAND NEW SHIPMENT OF THOSE IN. 218 00:09:42,014 --> 00:09:45,251 VOILA. THIS WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR? 219 00:09:45,351 --> 00:09:47,486 TRUE DAT. 220 00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:48,688 $200. 221 00:09:48,788 --> 00:09:49,655 OH, I GET IT. 222 00:09:49,755 --> 00:09:51,457 THAT'S A SCHMO PRICE. 223 00:09:51,557 --> 00:09:54,627 WHAT BE THE PRO PRICE? 224 00:09:54,727 --> 00:09:56,429 WHAT'S HE SAYING? 225 00:09:56,529 --> 00:09:58,397 HE WANTS TO KNOW IF YOU COULD DO BETTER. 226 00:09:58,497 --> 00:10:02,201 OH. NO. THAT'S THE PRICE. 227 00:10:02,301 --> 00:10:05,204 OK, FINE. THEN WE JUST GONNA BA-NOUNCE. 228 00:10:05,304 --> 00:10:07,273 WE'RE GONNA HIT THE BRICKS. 229 00:10:07,373 --> 00:10:10,810 AGITATE THE GRAVEL. I DON'T-- 230 00:10:10,910 --> 00:10:12,578 I THINK HE'S SAYING WE'RE GONNA LEAVE. 231 00:10:12,678 --> 00:10:14,380 OH. OK. WELL, IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND, 232 00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:15,481 THE BAG'LL STILL BE HERE. 233 00:10:15,581 --> 00:10:16,949 OH, BUT I AM LEAVING AT 3:00 TODAY. 234 00:10:17,049 --> 00:10:19,352 I HAVE TO GO TO A PLAY AT MY DAUGHTER'S PRESCHOOL. 235 00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:22,989 SHE'S PLAYING A TREE. NO LINES. STILL GOTTA GO. 236 00:10:23,089 --> 00:10:24,890 ALL RIGHT, RAY-RAY. WE'RE GONNA GET OUT OF HERE, MAN. 237 00:10:24,991 --> 00:10:26,592 ALL RIGHT. 238 00:10:26,692 --> 00:10:29,462 ALL RIGHT, PLAYBOY. PAPA'S GOOD TO GIVE YOU 2 LARGE. 239 00:10:29,562 --> 00:10:33,499 YOU JUST OFFERED HIM $2,000. 240 00:10:33,599 --> 00:10:35,334 OK, LISTEN. I'M GONNA LEVEL WITH YOU. 241 00:10:35,434 --> 00:10:39,305 I'M JUST A WHITE GUY TRYING TO BUY MY WIFE A HANDBAG. 242 00:10:49,849 --> 00:10:51,884 OH, MY GOD. OH, MY GOD! 243 00:10:51,984 --> 00:10:53,452 OH, MY GOD! 244 00:10:53,552 --> 00:10:56,355 YOU LIKE IT? LIKE IT? I LOVE IT! 245 00:10:56,455 --> 00:10:57,623 I LOVE IT, I LOVE--OH! 246 00:10:57,723 --> 00:10:59,792 I JUST--I CAN'T-- I GOTTA PEE. 247 00:11:01,727 --> 00:11:03,562 I CAN HOLD IT. 248 00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:05,197 OK, LOOK AT ME FOR A SECOND, OK? 249 00:11:05,297 --> 00:11:08,968 I LOVE YOU. I-I LOVE YOU. 250 00:11:09,068 --> 00:11:11,237 I'M LOVING YOU. 251 00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:13,205 AND HOW MUCH OF THAT IS BECAUSE OF THE BAG? 252 00:11:13,305 --> 00:11:14,507 I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE 90%. 253 00:11:14,607 --> 00:11:16,108 BUT THE REST IS ALL YOU! 254 00:11:16,208 --> 00:11:19,078 WOW, 10%. THAT'S LIKE A RECORD FOR ME. 255 00:11:19,178 --> 00:11:20,746 OH, I JUST-- I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. I-- 256 00:11:20,846 --> 00:11:23,015 OH, WOW. I MEAN, HOW COULD YOU AFFORD THIS, EDDIE? 257 00:11:23,115 --> 00:11:26,619 THIS IS, LIKE, A-- THIS IS, LIKE, A $2,000 BAG. 258 00:11:26,719 --> 00:11:28,721 YEAH, 2 LARGE. 259 00:11:28,821 --> 00:11:31,590 WHERE DID YOU GET THE MONEY FOR THIS? 260 00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:33,359 SOLD A LOT OF BLOOD. SOLD A LOT OF BLOOD. 261 00:11:33,459 --> 00:11:36,662 YEAH. THEY SAID I COULD GIVE MORE BECAUSE I'M BIGGER. 262 00:11:36,762 --> 00:11:38,464 [SNIFFING] OH, GOD. 263 00:11:38,564 --> 00:11:41,400 YOU KNOW WHAT IN PARTICULAR ABOUT THIS BAG 264 00:11:41,500 --> 00:11:43,202 IS EXTRA FANTASTIC? 265 00:11:43,302 --> 00:11:45,871 THERE'S A LITTLE SECRET POCKET INSIDE FOR YOUR CELL PHONE. 266 00:11:45,971 --> 00:11:48,240 AND RIGHT NEXT TO IT IS THIS LITTLE LEATHER TAB 267 00:11:48,340 --> 00:11:51,577 THAT IS SIGNED PERSONALLY BY V. PATEL. I'LL SHOW IT TO YOU. 268 00:11:51,677 --> 00:11:53,713 UH--UH--OH. UH-- 269 00:11:53,813 --> 00:11:56,882 I-IT'S NOT HERE. WHY WOULDN'T IT BE HERE? 270 00:11:56,982 --> 00:11:58,417 H-HONEY? I-I HAVE-- LIS-LISTEN TO ME. 271 00:11:58,517 --> 00:12:01,587 I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU AND YOU'RE NOT GONNA BE HAPPY. 272 00:12:01,687 --> 00:12:03,756 OH, HERE IT IS. 273 00:12:09,495 --> 00:12:12,598 WHAT DID YOU WANT TO TELL ME? 274 00:12:12,698 --> 00:12:16,035 I'M ADDICTED TO INTERNET PORN. 275 00:12:22,141 --> 00:12:23,576 OH. I LOVE IT. 276 00:12:23,676 --> 00:12:27,113 I LOVE IT. I WANT TO MARRY IT. 277 00:12:27,213 --> 00:12:30,783 I WOULD SIGN A BIG 'OL PRE-NUP FOR THIS. 278 00:12:30,883 --> 00:12:32,251 OH, GOD. I LOVE IT, TOO. 279 00:12:32,351 --> 00:12:34,687 AND NOT JUST BECAUSE IT'S DESIGNER, OR EXPENSIVE, 280 00:12:34,787 --> 00:12:36,021 BUT, YOU KNOW, WHEN I CARRY IT, 281 00:12:36,122 --> 00:12:39,692 I FEEL LIKE I'M BETTER THAN OTHER PEOPLE. 282 00:12:39,792 --> 00:12:41,794 HEY. THIS CAME FROM EDDIE? 283 00:12:41,894 --> 00:12:44,363 I MEAN, NO OFFENSE, BUT HE SEEMS LIKE 284 00:12:44,463 --> 00:12:47,266 SUCH A BAD HUSBAND. 285 00:12:47,366 --> 00:12:50,002 OH, NONE TAKEN. HE IS. 286 00:12:50,102 --> 00:12:54,507 UH, CORRECTION. HE WAS. NOW, HE'S A GOD. 287 00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:56,642 OH, COME ON. I'M NOT GOD. 288 00:12:56,742 --> 00:13:00,780 I'M JUST GOD'S BIG TOOL. 289 00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:04,150 SO, YOU- YOU TAKING THE BAG FOR A SPIN, 290 00:13:04,250 --> 00:13:05,518 ARE YOU, SIMONA? YEAH. 291 00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:08,187 HOW'S SHE FEEL? LIKE A MILLION BUCKS. 292 00:13:08,287 --> 00:13:10,823 WELL, YOU'RE NOT THAT FAR OFF. HA HA. 293 00:13:10,923 --> 00:13:13,392 BUT NOTHING IS TOO GOOD FOR MY BABY. 294 00:13:13,492 --> 00:13:15,628 LISTEN, WE'RE GONNA TAKE A LITTLE WALK AROUND THE NEIGHBORHOOD. 295 00:13:15,728 --> 00:13:19,064 I WANT TO SHOW IT TO THAT BITCH MARLENE PARKER. 296 00:13:24,737 --> 00:13:26,605 HI. EXCUSE ME. HI. 297 00:13:26,705 --> 00:13:27,740 HI. UM--UH, 298 00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:30,442 MY HUSBAND, UH, BOUGHT THIS BAG FOR ME. 299 00:13:30,543 --> 00:13:32,044 AND, UM-- I LOVE IT. 300 00:13:32,144 --> 00:13:34,947 AND I LOVE HIM FOR BUYING IT FOR ME. 301 00:13:35,047 --> 00:13:36,549 BUT, UM, IT'S THE CREME BRULEE, 302 00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:39,618 AND I WANTED TO EXCHANGE IT FOR THE SWISS CHOCOLATE. 303 00:13:39,718 --> 00:13:42,922 OH, CERTAINLY. NO PROBLEM. 304 00:13:45,958 --> 00:13:47,793 YEAH. 305 00:13:49,495 --> 00:13:51,764 UM, YEAH. 306 00:13:54,466 --> 00:13:56,235 IS THERE A PROBLEM? 307 00:13:56,335 --> 00:13:58,003 UM, YEAH. 308 00:13:58,103 --> 00:14:01,073 HAVE YOU EVER OWNED ONE OF THESE BAGS BEFORE? 309 00:14:01,173 --> 00:14:02,308 UM, NO. IT'S MY FIRST. 310 00:14:02,408 --> 00:14:06,378 UM, YEAH. ACTUALLY, IT'S REALLY NOT. 311 00:14:07,613 --> 00:14:09,181 WHA--WHAT'S WRONG? 312 00:14:09,281 --> 00:14:10,983 THIS BAG IS ACTUALLY A KNOCK-OFF. 313 00:14:11,083 --> 00:14:13,319 IT WOULD TAKE A SOPHISTICATED EYE TO NOTICE, 314 00:14:13,419 --> 00:14:16,789 SO I'M NOT SURPRISED THAT YOU DIDN'T. 315 00:14:16,889 --> 00:14:19,658 I AM BEING TREATED VERY POORLY HERE. 316 00:14:19,758 --> 00:14:20,860 I'M A PAYING CUSTOMER. 317 00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:24,697 UM, YEAH. YOU'RE REALLY NOT. 318 00:14:24,797 --> 00:14:27,433 HOW DO YOU KNOW I DON'T SHOP HERE ALL THE TIME? 319 00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:30,469 UM, YOUR EYE SHADOW? 320 00:14:30,569 --> 00:14:32,671 AS YOU MIGHT IMAGINE, UH, 321 00:14:32,771 --> 00:14:34,106 WE AT V. PATEL FROWN UPON THOSE 322 00:14:34,206 --> 00:14:36,508 WHO TRY TO EXCHANGE FAKE BAGS FOR AUTHENTIC ONES. 323 00:14:36,609 --> 00:14:39,879 I MEAN, THAT'S KIND OF LIKE STEALING $2,000. 324 00:14:39,979 --> 00:14:43,115 UH, WELL, I'M SURE THAT YOU AT V. PATEL FROWN UPON THAT, 325 00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:45,184 BUT I AM NOT STEALING ANYTHING, OK? 326 00:14:45,284 --> 00:14:46,819 THAT BAG IS PERFECTLY REAL. 327 00:14:46,919 --> 00:14:49,655 SO YOU CAN V. SUCK IT. 328 00:14:49,755 --> 00:14:51,991 UH, EXCUSE ME, MA'AM. 329 00:14:52,091 --> 00:14:54,393 WHERE DID YOU COME FROM? HEY, DID-- 330 00:14:54,493 --> 00:14:57,029 DID YOU HIT ONE OF THOSE SILENT ALARM BUTTONS 331 00:14:57,129 --> 00:14:57,963 UNDER THE COUNTER? 332 00:14:58,063 --> 00:15:00,165 UM, YEAH. I KINDA DID. 333 00:15:00,266 --> 00:15:02,935 YOU SEEM LIKE A RUNNER. 334 00:15:04,403 --> 00:15:06,005 COME ON, YOU KEEP FORGETTING TO ANTE. 335 00:15:06,105 --> 00:15:08,607 PUT IT IN, SHAFT. AAH! BAM. 336 00:15:08,707 --> 00:15:09,975 OOH! SORRY, I GOT BEER ON THE RUG. 337 00:15:10,075 --> 00:15:11,143 AH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT. 338 00:15:11,243 --> 00:15:12,645 JOY WILL TAKE CARE OF IT. 339 00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:14,914 I BOUGHT HER A FANCY PURSE. I'M BULLETPROOF. 340 00:15:15,014 --> 00:15:16,849 [ALL LAUGHING] 341 00:15:16,949 --> 00:15:18,484 WHOOP! 342 00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:20,152 I'M NOT EVEN GONNA DO IT. I'LL CLEAN IT LATER. 343 00:15:20,252 --> 00:15:23,622 [CELL PHONE RINGS] 344 00:15:23,722 --> 00:15:24,790 HELLO? 345 00:15:24,890 --> 00:15:27,092 HEY, HONEY. GUYS, SAY HI TO JOY. 346 00:15:27,192 --> 00:15:28,761 All: HI, JOY. 347 00:15:28,861 --> 00:15:31,563 SEE? THAT WAS FOR YOU. NO GIRLS. 348 00:15:31,664 --> 00:15:34,066 [STAMMERING] 349 00:15:34,166 --> 00:15:36,835 I--WHA--NO. 350 00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:39,738 HONEY--OH. 351 00:15:41,707 --> 00:15:43,442 OK. I'M GONNA, UH, 352 00:15:43,542 --> 00:15:45,644 HAVE TO MAKE A QUICK TRIP TO THE MALL. 353 00:15:45,744 --> 00:15:48,213 UM, HANK, YOU'RE A DIVORCE LAWYER. 354 00:15:48,314 --> 00:15:51,116 LEAVE YOUR BUSINESS CARD BEFORE YOU GO. 355 00:15:54,887 --> 00:15:54,920 {\an8}O 356 00:15:54,920 --> 00:15:54,954 {\an8}O TH 357 00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:55,054 {\an8}O THIS 358 00:15:55,054 --> 00:15:55,087 {\an8}O THIS TH 359 00:15:55,087 --> 00:15:55,120 {\an8}O THIS THE 360 00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:55,154 {\an8}O THIS THE EA 361 00:15:55,154 --> 00:15:55,187 {\an8}O THIS THE EASY 362 00:15:55,187 --> 00:15:55,220 {\an8}O THIS THE EASY W 363 00:15:55,220 --> 00:15:55,254 {\an8}O THIS THE EASY WAY 364 00:15:55,254 --> 00:15:55,287 {\an8}O THIS THE EASY WAY, 365 00:15:57,323 --> 00:15:59,959 OR THE HARD WAY. ALL I WANT TO KNOW IS 366 00:16:00,059 --> 00:16:01,627 WHERE'D YOU GET THIS BAG? 367 00:16:01,727 --> 00:16:05,864 I TOLD YOU. IT WAS A GIFT FROM MY DEAD HUSBAND. 368 00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:10,102 HOW DID HE DIE? I'LL LET YOU KNOW. 369 00:16:10,202 --> 00:16:11,971 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 370 00:16:12,071 --> 00:16:14,540 HEY, HONEY. EDDIE. 371 00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:16,575 HOW COULD YOU GET ME A FAKE BAG? 372 00:16:16,675 --> 00:16:18,777 FAKE? FAKE. 373 00:16:18,877 --> 00:16:20,879 FAKE? FAKE. 374 00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:23,182 OK, YOU CAN STOP SAYING "FAKE". WE KNOW IT'S A FAKE. 375 00:16:23,282 --> 00:16:25,050 WHOA. WHO--WHOA. 376 00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:27,319 WHOA-- STOP IT. 377 00:16:27,419 --> 00:16:28,587 HOW DID YOU FIND OUT? 378 00:16:28,687 --> 00:16:30,956 WELL, I TRIED TO RETURN IT. 379 00:16:31,056 --> 00:16:32,491 YOU DID WHAT? 380 00:16:32,591 --> 00:16:34,760 I WANTED A SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT COLOR. 381 00:16:34,860 --> 00:16:37,463 SO YOU TRIED TO RETURN THE BAG 382 00:16:37,563 --> 00:16:39,231 THAT I GAVE YOU WITH LOVE? 383 00:16:39,331 --> 00:16:41,333 IT'S A FAKE BAG, EDDIE. 384 00:16:41,433 --> 00:16:44,036 YEAH, BUT YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT. 385 00:16:44,136 --> 00:16:47,006 FOR ALL YOU KNEW, I-IT WAS AN EXPENSIVE 386 00:16:47,106 --> 00:16:48,941 AND-AND HEARTFELT GIFT. 387 00:16:49,041 --> 00:16:50,943 ARE YOU TRYING TO PLAY THE VICTIM HERE? 388 00:16:51,043 --> 00:16:53,412 HEY, I AM THE VICTIM HERE. 389 00:16:53,512 --> 00:16:56,315 I PRETENDED TO SPEND $2,000 ON YOU. 390 00:16:56,415 --> 00:16:59,718 DO YOU REALIZE HOW HARD I WOULD HAVE TO WORK 391 00:16:59,818 --> 00:17:01,787 TO MAKE $2,000? 392 00:17:01,887 --> 00:17:03,989 BUT YOU REALLY DIDN'T. 393 00:17:04,089 --> 00:17:06,125 BUT YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT. 394 00:17:06,225 --> 00:17:10,195 FOR ALL YOU KNEW, I DONATED 12 PINTS OF BLOOD. 395 00:17:10,295 --> 00:17:12,364 12? YES, 12. I'M A BIGGER PERSON-- 396 00:17:12,464 --> 00:17:15,334 TO BUY YOU THIS PRECIOUS BAG. 397 00:17:15,434 --> 00:17:17,803 BUT AGAIN, YOU DIDN'T REALLY DO IT. 398 00:17:17,903 --> 00:17:20,606 BUT AGAIN, YOU DIDN'T REALLY KNOW IT. 399 00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:24,510 THIS IS ABSURD. WILL YOU PLEASE TELL HIM THAT THIS IS ABSURD? 400 00:17:24,610 --> 00:17:28,147 HE DOES HAVE A POINT, MA'AM. 401 00:17:28,247 --> 00:17:30,015 YOU DIDN'T KNOW. 402 00:17:30,115 --> 00:17:33,886 THANK YOU, "COULDN'T GET A REAL POLICE OFFICER JOB" RICK. 403 00:17:33,986 --> 00:17:36,355 WHOA, WHOA. DO NOT COME DOWN ON RICK. 404 00:17:36,455 --> 00:17:38,190 HE MAKES A LOT OF SENSE. 405 00:17:38,290 --> 00:17:40,159 OH, SO IT'S ALL MY FAULT. OK? 406 00:17:40,259 --> 00:17:42,828 FOR 20 YEARS, YOU'VE BEEN WRITING ME THESE USELESS COUPONS. 407 00:17:42,928 --> 00:17:44,530 YOU FINALLY BUY ME SOMETHING, 408 00:17:44,630 --> 00:17:48,100 AND I'M GETTING THE THIRD DEGREE FROM OFFICER WALRUS. 409 00:17:49,835 --> 00:17:52,404 YOU GET ONE MORE, LADY. 410 00:17:53,539 --> 00:17:56,775 AND THEN I CRY. 411 00:17:56,875 --> 00:17:58,744 OK. 412 00:17:58,844 --> 00:18:02,181 I-I'M GONNA ASK YOU, RICK, 413 00:18:02,281 --> 00:18:05,184 TO ASK THE PRISONER WHAT SHE WOULD LIKE ME TO DO. 414 00:18:05,284 --> 00:18:07,786 I OBVIOUSLY CAN'T AFFORD A $2,000 BAG. 415 00:18:07,886 --> 00:18:09,421 BUT I DIDN'T ASK YOU TO DO THAT. 416 00:18:09,521 --> 00:18:11,757 I WOULD'VE BEEN HAPPY IF YOU BOUGHT ME 417 00:18:11,857 --> 00:18:13,492 THE SCARF THAT KENNY GAVE ME. 418 00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:15,761 OH, COME ON, JOY. I'VE GIVEN YOU GIFTS LIKE THAT. 419 00:18:15,861 --> 00:18:18,030 THEY NEVER MEANT ANYTHING. NO. 420 00:18:18,130 --> 00:18:19,331 I GAVE YOU THAT BAG, YOU LOOKED AT ME 421 00:18:19,431 --> 00:18:22,167 LIKE I WAS A ROCK STAR. I DID NOT. 422 00:18:22,267 --> 00:18:24,103 SHE DID. SHE ALMOST PEED HERSELF. 423 00:18:24,203 --> 00:18:26,972 ALMOST PEED IN HER PANTS. 424 00:18:27,072 --> 00:18:28,640 HONEY! 425 00:18:28,740 --> 00:18:31,977 ALL RIGHT, LOOK. THE POINT IS, I-- 426 00:18:32,077 --> 00:18:35,581 I KNOW YOU THINK THOSE LITTLE COUPONS I GIVE YOU ARE SILLY, 427 00:18:35,681 --> 00:18:38,917 BUT IT'S-IT'S ONLY BECAUSE I CAN'T AFFORD 428 00:18:39,017 --> 00:18:41,653 TO GIVE YOU WHAT I'D LIKE TO. 429 00:18:41,753 --> 00:18:44,423 LET ALONE WHAT YOU DESERVE. 430 00:18:44,523 --> 00:18:49,428 AND I DON'T WANT TO DISAPPOINT YOU. 431 00:18:49,528 --> 00:18:53,098 UH, IF I MAY-- 432 00:18:55,334 --> 00:18:57,202 OBVIOUSLY, HIM GIVING YOU THAT FAKE BAG 433 00:18:57,302 --> 00:18:59,671 WASN'T A GREAT IDEA, BUT, UH-- 434 00:18:59,771 --> 00:19:02,374 HE SEEMS TO BE TRYING TO EXPRESS SOME REAL FEELINGS 435 00:19:02,474 --> 00:19:05,277 OF INSECURITY HERE, AND-- 436 00:19:05,377 --> 00:19:09,781 WELL, I THINK YOU SHOULD VALIDATE THAT. 437 00:19:15,354 --> 00:19:17,122 REALLY? 438 00:19:17,222 --> 00:19:20,058 36 YEARS. 439 00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:21,894 ALL RIGHT. 440 00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:23,695 I'M SORRY, BABE. 441 00:19:23,795 --> 00:19:25,864 IN THE FUTURE, 442 00:19:25,964 --> 00:19:28,534 I WILL TRY TO APPRECIATE 443 00:19:28,634 --> 00:19:30,636 THE CRAP YOU CAN AFFORD. 444 00:19:30,736 --> 00:19:32,871 AND I WILL TRY TO PUT MORE THOUGHT 445 00:19:32,971 --> 00:19:36,074 INTO THE CRAP THAT I BUY YOU. 446 00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:38,310 I LOVE YOU. LOVE YOU. 447 00:19:38,410 --> 00:19:40,012 AH, THIS IS BEAUTIFUL. 448 00:19:40,112 --> 00:19:42,948 WHY DON'T YOU TWO LOVEBIRDS GET OUT OF HERE, HUH? 449 00:19:43,048 --> 00:19:45,484 I'LL CLEAN UP THIS WHOLE HANDBAG MESS. 450 00:19:45,584 --> 00:19:46,585 OK. AW. 451 00:19:46,685 --> 00:19:48,654 WELL, THANK YOU, OFFICER RICK. 452 00:19:48,754 --> 00:19:50,255 THANK YOU. 453 00:19:50,355 --> 00:19:51,456 YOU KNOW... 454 00:19:51,557 --> 00:19:54,927 MOMENTS LIKE THESE ARE WHY I GOT INTO THE WHOLE 455 00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:59,898 RETAIL SECURITY GAME IN THE FIRST PLACE. HA HA. 456 00:19:59,998 --> 00:20:02,501 THAT, AND THE HAUNTINGLY 457 00:20:02,601 --> 00:20:04,636 BEAUTIFUL MANNEQUINS 458 00:20:04,736 --> 00:20:08,440 IN THE BRIDAL SHOP WINDOWS. 459 00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:16,548 EDDIE, YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS. 460 00:20:16,648 --> 00:20:18,417 NO, THIS IS ABOUT DEFENDING MY WIFE'S HONOR. 461 00:20:18,517 --> 00:20:21,253 IS THIS THE GUY RIGHT HERE? YEAH. 462 00:20:21,353 --> 00:20:23,088 EXCUSE ME. HI. 463 00:20:23,188 --> 00:20:25,824 NICE JEAN JACKET. 464 00:20:25,924 --> 00:20:28,093 I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE UNDER THE IMPRESSION 465 00:20:28,193 --> 00:20:32,264 THAT YOU THINK PEOPLE LIKE US CAN'T AFFORD TO SHOP HERE. 466 00:20:32,364 --> 00:20:35,000 I JUST CAME BY TO TELL YOU THAT IT IS MY WIFE'S BIRTHDAY, 467 00:20:35,100 --> 00:20:38,737 AND WE WILL BE PURCHASING A V. PATEL ITEM. 468 00:20:38,837 --> 00:20:42,507 AND TO THINK I ALMOST CALLED IN SICK TODAY. 469 00:20:42,608 --> 00:20:45,677 LET'S SEE, WE HAVE THE WEEKEND BAG. CLASSY. 470 00:20:45,777 --> 00:20:48,847 WE HAVE THE BRIEFCASE. ALWAYS COMES IN HANDY. 471 00:20:48,947 --> 00:20:51,883 THOSE START IN THE $800s. 472 00:20:51,984 --> 00:20:54,119 I KNOW MY WIFE WELL ENOUGH TO REALIZE 473 00:20:54,219 --> 00:20:59,825 THAT SHE'S PROBABLY A V. PATEL KEYCHAIN GAL. 474 00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:02,160 {\an8}THAT'LL BE $350. 475 00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:03,495 {\an8}YOU'RE RIGHT. 476 00:21:03,595 --> 00:21:05,697 {\an8}WE REALLY CAN'T AFFORD TO SHOP HERE. 477 00:21:05,797 --> 00:21:08,867 {\an8}BUT I'M PRETTY SURE THAT EITHER ONE OF US 478 00:21:08,967 --> 00:21:11,570 {\an8}COULD KICK YOUR ASS. 479 00:21:17,743 --> 00:21:20,078 {\an8}I SAY WE GET A COFFEE 480 00:21:20,178 --> 00:21:23,015 {\an8}AND WAIT OUT HIS SHIFT. 481 00:21:30,322 --> 00:21:31,990 {\an8}[CHEERING] 36304

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