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1
00:00:04,104 --> 00:00:05,772
{\an8}HEY, LOOK.
2
00:00:05,872 --> 00:00:07,941
{\an8}JEWS OF THE FUTURE.
3
00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:11,444
{\an8}GIMME, GIMME.
4
00:00:11,544 --> 00:00:12,746
{\an8}MADONNA. 1987.
5
00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:14,981
{\an8}HMM. BETTER.
6
00:00:15,081 --> 00:00:18,752
{\an8}HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON
WITH YOUR LIFE PARTNER,
WHITEY?
7
00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:20,086
{\an8}HE WASN'T AT SCHOOL
AGAIN TODAY.
8
00:00:20,186 --> 00:00:21,588
{\an8}I DON'T KNOW
WHAT'S GOING ON WITH HIM.
9
00:00:21,688 --> 00:00:24,791
{\an8}I'VE LEFT HIM A FEW MESSAGES,
AND I'M A LITTLE WORRIED.
10
00:00:24,891 --> 00:00:26,426
{\an8}WELL, YOU TOLD ME HE'S
A HOARDER, RIGHT?
11
00:00:26,526 --> 00:00:29,195
{\an8}SO MAYBE
HE CAN'T FIND THE PHONE.
12
00:00:29,295 --> 00:00:30,764
{\an8}OR THE FRONT DOOR.
13
00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:32,966
{\an8}HE'S PROBABLY STUCK
UNDER A BUNCH OF BIRDCAGES
14
00:00:33,066 --> 00:00:36,302
{\an8}AND UMBRELLAS AND STACKS
OF NEWSPAPER.
15
00:00:36,403 --> 00:00:37,537
{\an8}YOU KNOW WHAT?
16
00:00:37,637 --> 00:00:38,905
{\an8}I SHOULD GO CHECK ON HIM.
17
00:00:39,005 --> 00:00:42,008
{\an8}JUST GO BY AND LET HIM
KNOW I'M THINKING ABOUT HIM.
18
00:00:42,108 --> 00:00:44,177
{\an8}HEY, EVERYBODY.
I THINK THIS IS IT.
19
00:00:44,277 --> 00:00:45,879
{\an8}I THINK I'M GOING
INTO LABOR.
20
00:00:45,979 --> 00:00:47,247
{\an8}NO. HONEY,
YOU'RE PERFECTLY FINE.
21
00:00:47,347 --> 00:00:48,248
{\an8}DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
22
00:00:48,348 --> 00:00:49,582
{\an8}OK, I'M GONNA
GO TO WHITEY'S.
23
00:00:49,682 --> 00:00:51,217
{\an8}I'LL SEE YOU
A LITTLE LATER.
24
00:00:51,317 --> 00:00:54,354
{\an8}MOM! I SAY "I THINK
I'M GOING INTO LABOR"
AND DAD JUST LEAVES?
25
00:00:54,454 --> 00:00:56,823
{\an8}WELL BABE, YOU'VE
SAID IT LIKE 27 TIMES.
YOU KNOW?
26
00:00:56,923 --> 00:00:58,825
{\an8}I MEAN, YOU DON'T
"THINK" YOU'RE GOING
INTO LABOR.
27
00:00:58,925 --> 00:01:00,693
{\an8}IF YOU'RE GOING
INTO LABOR, YOU KNOW.
28
00:01:00,794 --> 00:01:01,761
{\an8}BUT HOW?
29
00:01:01,861 --> 00:01:04,397
{\an8}WELL, ARE YOU HAVING
ANY CONTRACTIONS?
30
00:01:04,497 --> 00:01:05,498
{\an8}NO.
31
00:01:05,598 --> 00:01:06,633
{\an8}DID YOUR WATER BREAK?
NO.
32
00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:08,168
{\an8}IS THERE A FOOT
IN YOUR UNDERPANTS?
33
00:01:08,268 --> 00:01:09,302
{\an8}NO.
34
00:01:09,402 --> 00:01:11,037
{\an8}OK, THERE'S NO BABY YET.
35
00:01:11,137 --> 00:01:13,173
{\an8}OK. OK.
I'VE GOT THE BAG READY.
36
00:01:13,273 --> 00:01:14,407
{\an8}LET'S GET YOU
TO THE HOSPITAL.
37
00:01:14,507 --> 00:01:15,742
{\an8}FALSE ALARM, DOUG.
38
00:01:15,842 --> 00:01:16,876
{\an8}SORRY.
39
00:01:16,976 --> 00:01:18,678
{\an8}HEY, JUST OUT
OF CURIOSITY--
40
00:01:18,778 --> 00:01:20,346
{\an8}WHAT'S IN THE BAG?
41
00:01:20,447 --> 00:01:22,549
{\an8}JUST EVERYTHING WE'RE GONNA
NEED AT THE HOSPITAL.
42
00:01:22,649 --> 00:01:24,184
{\an8}YEAH? LET ME TAKE
A LOOK AT THAT.
43
00:01:24,284 --> 00:01:26,553
{\an8}LET ME LOOK IN HERE.
44
00:01:26,653 --> 00:01:28,154
{\an8}WE GOT A HACKEYSACK.
45
00:01:28,254 --> 00:01:29,122
{\an8}NEED THAT.
46
00:01:29,189 --> 00:01:32,792
{\an8}AND SOME ROLLING PAPERS.
47
00:01:32,892 --> 00:01:34,627
{\an8}AND A COMIC BOOK.
48
00:01:34,727 --> 00:01:36,763
{\an8}YEP, JUST THE ESSENTIALS.
49
00:01:36,863 --> 00:01:38,531
{\an8}ISN'T IT CUTE?
50
00:01:38,631 --> 00:01:41,034
{\an8}YOU KNOW, HONEY,
WHEN YOU DO ACTUALLY
GO INTO LABOR,
51
00:01:41,134 --> 00:01:43,937
{\an8}YOU ARE NOT GOING
TO FIND ANY OF THIS
AMUSING.
52
00:01:44,037 --> 00:01:47,440
{\an8}AND BY "THIS,"
I MEAN...THIS.
53
00:01:50,210 --> 00:01:51,945
{\an8}[KNOCKING]
54
00:01:52,045 --> 00:01:54,047
{\an8}Whitey: COMING!
55
00:01:54,147 --> 00:01:57,484
{\an8}6, 5, 4, 3, 2--AAH!
56
00:01:57,584 --> 00:01:59,152
{\an8}1, 0.
57
00:01:59,252 --> 00:02:01,121
{\an8}ALL RIGHT COMPANY IS COMING
58
00:02:01,221 --> 00:02:04,924
AND THE FIRST THING
THEY'LL SEE ARE
MY NICE SHINY BALLS.
59
00:02:07,727 --> 00:02:09,362
HI, EDDIE.
60
00:02:09,462 --> 00:02:11,297
WOW.
61
00:02:11,397 --> 00:02:13,299
THIS IS WORSE THAN I THOUGHT.
62
00:02:13,399 --> 00:02:15,268
WELL--WELL, COME ON IN.
63
00:02:15,368 --> 00:02:17,837
I--I DON'T THINK I CAN.
WHY?
64
00:02:17,937 --> 00:02:20,073
WELL, YOU KNOW
HOW I AM WITH GERMS
AND EVERYTHING, WHITEY.
65
00:02:20,173 --> 00:02:21,040
THIS IS...
66
00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:22,075
WELL, FORTUNATELY,
67
00:02:22,175 --> 00:02:23,476
THAT'S ONE THING
I DON'T COLLECT.
68
00:02:23,576 --> 00:02:27,447
I'M JUST TOO CLAUSTROPHOBIC.
THIS IS...
69
00:02:27,547 --> 00:02:28,982
WELL, NO. COME ON IN
AND CONFRONT YOUR FEARS.
70
00:02:29,082 --> 00:02:31,084
COME ON,
DON'T LET THE FLIES OUT.
71
00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:34,988
YEAH, HOME SWEET HOME.
72
00:02:35,088 --> 00:02:36,556
HOW DO YOU LIVE LIKE THIS?
73
00:02:36,656 --> 00:02:38,158
YEAH, I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
IT'S A LITTLE SPARSE
74
00:02:38,258 --> 00:02:41,060
EVER SINCE I DID
MY SPRING CLEANING.
75
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:44,063
AND YOU'RE OK
WITH ALL OF THIS?
76
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:45,765
OH, YEAH.
77
00:02:45,865 --> 00:02:50,136
IN THE EYE OF A HOARDER,
THIS IS A MARTHA STEWART
CHRISTMAS.
78
00:02:54,073 --> 00:02:56,042
DID THAT GARDEN GNOME
JUST BLINK?
79
00:02:56,142 --> 00:02:57,911
OH, FOR PETE'S SAKE.
80
00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:00,980
LUTHER, UP AND OUT!
81
00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:03,716
OK. AND THIS IS
THE LAST TIME, MY FRIEND.
82
00:03:03,816 --> 00:03:04,851
[LUTHER GRUMBLES]
83
00:03:04,951 --> 00:03:06,486
[SIGH]
84
00:03:06,586 --> 00:03:11,191
YOU KNOW, THEY THINK
THEY CAN SNEAK IN HERE
AND HIDE WITH THE GNOMES,
85
00:03:11,291 --> 00:03:14,327
AND THEN WHEN I GO TO BED
AT NIGHT, THEY BREAK
INTO THE KITCHEN.
86
00:03:14,427 --> 00:03:17,797
THE TRICK IS
TO PUT POISON
IN THE CANDY CORN
87
00:03:17,897 --> 00:03:21,034
AND HAVE THEM TAKE IT BACK
TO THE NEST.
88
00:03:21,134 --> 00:03:22,969
SO, CAN I GET YOU ANYTHING?
89
00:03:23,069 --> 00:03:26,005
I'VE GOT, UH--
HOW ABOUT NUTS?
90
00:03:26,105 --> 00:03:28,374
OH, YOU CERTAINLY ARE.
91
00:03:28,474 --> 00:03:30,643
NO, I ALREADY ATE
92
00:03:30,743 --> 00:03:32,312
AND DRANK AND PEED AND POOPED.
93
00:03:32,412 --> 00:03:36,449
I JUST--I JUST WANTED
TO COME BY AND SEE
IF YOU'RE OK, WHITEY.
94
00:03:36,549 --> 00:03:39,118
YOU--YOU ARE OK, RIGHT?
95
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:43,356
YEAH, I THINK YOU'RE
A LITTLE UNCOMFORTABLE
THOUGH, AREN'T YOU?
96
00:03:43,456 --> 00:03:46,059
WELL, IT'S--
IT'S A BIT UNNERVING.
97
00:03:46,159 --> 00:03:47,193
I HAVE TO BE HONEST.
98
00:03:47,293 --> 00:03:49,329
NO WINDOWS, NO FLOORS.
99
00:03:49,429 --> 00:03:51,431
IT'S KIND OF LIKE
MY VERSION OF HELL,
100
00:03:51,531 --> 00:03:53,566
EXCEPT WITHOUT
THE CELINE DION MUSIC.
101
00:03:53,666 --> 00:03:55,168
RIGHT.
102
00:03:55,268 --> 00:03:57,570
Man: WHITEY!
GET UP HERE!
103
00:03:57,670 --> 00:04:01,441
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
IS SOMEBODY BURIED
UNDER ALL THIS?
104
00:04:01,541 --> 00:04:02,942
NO. NO, IT'S...
105
00:04:03,042 --> 00:04:06,012
IT'S MY 93-YEAR-OLD
UNCLE RUDOLPH.
106
00:04:06,112 --> 00:04:08,281
HE JUST MOVED
INTO THE ATTIC.
107
00:04:08,381 --> 00:04:09,582
WHAT?
108
00:04:09,682 --> 00:04:11,084
YEAH, HE GOT KICKED
OUT OF EVERY RETIREMENT HOME
109
00:04:11,184 --> 00:04:12,552
ON THE EASTERN SEABOARD.
110
00:04:12,652 --> 00:04:14,053
HE'S NOT LIKE US, EDDIE.
111
00:04:14,153 --> 00:04:15,922
HE'S NOT REALLY
A PEOPLE PERSON.
112
00:04:16,022 --> 00:04:17,156
Uncle Rudolph:
WHITEY! GET UP HERE,
113
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:19,125
YOU WORTHLESS
PIECE OF CRAP!
114
00:04:20,193 --> 00:04:21,961
OK, I SEE WHAT YOU MEAN.
115
00:04:22,061 --> 00:04:24,297
YEAH. AND HE'S ON HIS BEST
BEHAVIOR RIGHT NOW TOO,
116
00:04:24,397 --> 00:04:25,398
BECAUSE HE WANTS HIS--
117
00:04:25,498 --> 00:04:27,600
[YELLING] HIS PRECIOUS
TALCUM POWDER!
118
00:04:27,700 --> 00:04:30,336
HE JUST WON'T DIE.
119
00:04:30,436 --> 00:04:33,172
AND THERE'S ENOUGH ASBESTOS
UP IN THAT ATTIC,
120
00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:35,975
THAT THE ROACHES
CAN'T EVEN SURVIVE.
121
00:04:36,075 --> 00:04:37,644
UH-HUH. OK, LISTEN.
122
00:04:37,744 --> 00:04:41,047
I'M GOING TO LET YOU
GET BACK TO YOUR UNCLE.
123
00:04:41,147 --> 00:04:44,117
I JUST WANTED TO MAKE--
TO MAKE SURE YOU'RE ALL RIGHT.
124
00:04:44,217 --> 00:04:46,586
IT'S GREAT TO SEE YOU.
I'M FINE. OBVIOUSLY.
125
00:04:46,686 --> 00:04:48,788
OK. AND I'LL SEE YOU
AT SCHOOL RIGHT?
126
00:04:48,888 --> 00:04:49,789
YES, YOU WILL.
127
00:04:49,889 --> 00:04:52,292
OK. HEY, YOU BOWL?
128
00:04:52,392 --> 00:04:54,093
NO, NOT AT ALL.
129
00:04:54,193 --> 00:04:55,528
DIDN'T THINK SO.
130
00:04:55,628 --> 00:04:57,530
OK.
131
00:04:57,630 --> 00:04:58,731
SEE YA.
132
00:04:58,831 --> 00:05:00,099
YEP.
133
00:05:00,199 --> 00:05:01,167
THANKS, EDDIE.
134
00:05:01,267 --> 00:05:02,602
Uncle Rudolph: WHITEY!
135
00:05:02,702 --> 00:05:03,870
AHH. LOOK--
136
00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:06,339
YOU'VE GOT 20 MINUTES
ON THAT OXYGEN TANK
137
00:05:06,439 --> 00:05:08,941
EVEN AFTER THE ALARM GOES OFF!
138
00:05:10,176 --> 00:05:12,011
YOU OLD FART!
139
00:05:12,111 --> 00:05:16,015
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6...
140
00:05:17,283 --> 00:05:20,353
Whitey: 53, 54, 55.
141
00:05:20,453 --> 00:05:22,588
DON'T GET UP.
142
00:05:22,689 --> 00:05:25,658
WHAT TOOK YOU SO DAMN LONG?
143
00:05:25,758 --> 00:05:28,194
I WAS WITH A GUEST.
144
00:05:28,294 --> 00:05:30,930
I HAVE FRIENDS,
UNCLE RUDOLPH.
145
00:05:31,030 --> 00:05:32,465
THE HELL YOU DO.
146
00:05:34,701 --> 00:05:35,935
HE'S REAL!
147
00:05:36,035 --> 00:05:38,104
LIKE THAT CHEESE YOU NAMED?
148
00:05:38,204 --> 00:05:40,206
THANK GOD YOUR FOLKS
ARE ALL DEAD
149
00:05:40,306 --> 00:05:44,577
SO THEY DON'T SEE YOU LIKE THIS,
YOU SICK BASTARD.
150
00:05:44,677 --> 00:05:47,613
LOOK, I'M GONNA PRETEND
THAT YOU DIDN'T SAY THAT
151
00:05:47,714 --> 00:05:49,182
BECAUSE YOU COULDN'T
POSSIBLY MEAN
152
00:05:49,282 --> 00:05:52,385
ALL THE HURTFUL AND
VILE THINGS YOU SAY TO ME.
153
00:05:52,485 --> 00:05:57,790
DON'T PATRONIZE ME,
YOU CANDY-ASS PRINCESS!
154
00:05:57,890 --> 00:05:59,959
I WAS AN ACTOR.
155
00:06:00,059 --> 00:06:03,129
I WAS IN "THE WIZARD OF OZ."
156
00:06:03,229 --> 00:06:07,400
THAT WAS ME
IN THE LOLLIPOP GUILD.
157
00:06:09,435 --> 00:06:11,938
YOU WERE NEVER
IN THE LOLLIPOP GUILD.
158
00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:13,973
I WAS A MUNCHKIN, DAMNIT!
159
00:06:14,073 --> 00:06:17,777
AS WELL AS AN OOMPA-LOOMPA
WITH MR. GENE WILDER,
160
00:06:17,877 --> 00:06:19,345
AND THE ONLY WILLY WONKA.
161
00:06:19,445 --> 00:06:22,415
YOU CAN LOOK IT UP,
YOU FOOL!
162
00:06:22,515 --> 00:06:25,118
YOU WERE NEVER
IN EITHER OF THOSE THINGS.
163
00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:27,053
YOU WERE "NOT"
A LITTLE PERSON!
164
00:06:27,153 --> 00:06:28,154
I WAS TOO.
165
00:06:28,254 --> 00:06:31,924
I HAD A GROWTH SPURT
IN MY EARLY 40s.
166
00:06:32,024 --> 00:06:33,159
IT HAPPENS.
167
00:06:33,259 --> 00:06:36,129
IF YOU WEREN'T SUCH AN IDIOT,
YOU'D KNOW THAT!
168
00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:41,134
I WISH I'D SHUT YOU OUT
WHEN YOU SHOWED UP
ON MY DOOR STEP.
169
00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:43,469
YOUR--THIS IS MY HOUSE.
170
00:06:43,569 --> 00:06:46,105
IT SHOULD FALL ON YOU
AND KILL YOU
171
00:06:46,205 --> 00:06:50,276
AND CURL UP YOUR FEET
LIKE THE WICKED WITCH
OF THE EAST,
172
00:06:50,376 --> 00:06:53,079
WHO WAS A DEAR FRIEND OF MINE.
173
00:06:53,179 --> 00:06:59,118
AND I STILL
CORRESPOND WITH LEON,
THE FLYING MONKEY BOY.
174
00:07:02,188 --> 00:07:04,557
WELL, I CAN SEE WHY
YOU NEVER LIVED WITH ANYONE.
175
00:07:04,657 --> 00:07:07,093
YOU'RE AN AWFUL PERSON.
176
00:07:07,193 --> 00:07:09,896
THAT'S NOT
WHAT ALFRED NOBEL SAID
177
00:07:09,996 --> 00:07:12,965
WHEN HE GAVE ME HIS PRIZE.
178
00:07:13,065 --> 00:07:17,270
YOU NEVER GOT A NOBEL PRIZE,
UNCLE RUDOLPH.
179
00:07:17,370 --> 00:07:21,641
MICROBIOLOGY, 1937.
180
00:07:21,741 --> 00:07:24,410
LOOK IT UP!
181
00:07:26,712 --> 00:07:29,549
ALL RIGHT,
HERE'S YOUR PRECIOUS
TALCUM POWDER.
182
00:07:29,649 --> 00:07:31,918
IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE
YOU NEED?
183
00:07:32,018 --> 00:07:33,219
YEAH.
184
00:07:33,319 --> 00:07:35,421
I'D LIKE A BIRTHDAY PARTY.
185
00:07:35,521 --> 00:07:37,557
I NEVER HAD ONE.
186
00:07:37,657 --> 00:07:39,258
YOU WANT A BIRTHDAY PARTY?!
187
00:07:39,358 --> 00:07:40,359
YEAH.
188
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:43,429
THIS IS PROBABLY GOING
TO BE MY LAST ONE.
189
00:07:43,529 --> 00:07:47,133
BUT I WANT TO PLAN IT
MYSELF.
190
00:07:47,233 --> 00:07:50,736
I DON'T WANT
ANY SURPRISE PARTY.
191
00:07:50,837 --> 00:07:51,971
WHY?
192
00:07:52,071 --> 00:07:55,942
MY DOCTOR SAID SURPRISES
MIGHT KILL ME.
193
00:07:59,912 --> 00:08:02,648
I'M HAVING A SURPRISE PARTY
FOR MY UNCLE RUDOLPH,
194
00:08:02,748 --> 00:08:05,485
AND YOU'RE ALL INVITED.
195
00:08:05,585 --> 00:08:06,452
WHEN IS IT?
196
00:08:06,552 --> 00:08:07,453
SATURDAY. TELL EDDIE.
197
00:08:07,553 --> 00:08:09,288
AND DOUG AND
ALLY CAN COME TOO.
198
00:08:09,388 --> 00:08:11,424
I NEED LOTS OF PEOPLE.
I WANT LOTS OF NOISE.
199
00:08:11,524 --> 00:08:13,292
IN FACT, I HAVE CYMBALS
FOR EVERYBODY.
200
00:08:13,392 --> 00:08:16,329
IF YOU HAVE A STARTER
PISTOL, BRING IT.
201
00:08:16,429 --> 00:08:17,630
HEY, WHITEY.
202
00:08:17,730 --> 00:08:18,598
YEAH?
203
00:08:18,698 --> 00:08:20,366
I GOT A REAL GUN...
204
00:08:20,466 --> 00:08:22,368
ON ME.
205
00:08:24,403 --> 00:08:29,208
HEY, THEY DON'T
MAKE US GO THROUGH
THE METAL DETECTORS.
206
00:08:29,308 --> 00:08:30,343
YEAH.
207
00:08:30,443 --> 00:08:32,778
WELL, BRING IT.
208
00:08:33,779 --> 00:08:35,047
IT IS KIND OF SHORT NOTICE.
209
00:08:35,147 --> 00:08:37,216
YEAH. WELL, HE'S GOING
TO BE 93 YEARS OLD.
210
00:08:37,316 --> 00:08:38,551
EVERYTHING IS SHORT NOTICE.
211
00:08:38,651 --> 00:08:39,886
AND IT HAS
TO BE SATURDAY TOO
212
00:08:39,986 --> 00:08:41,721
BECAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY TIME
HE LEAVES THE HOUSE
213
00:08:41,821 --> 00:08:44,257
TO HAVE HIS BACK ABSCESS
DRAINED.
214
00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:46,993
SOUNDS LIKE A HELL
OF A PARTY.
215
00:08:47,093 --> 00:08:49,061
WHEN WERE YOU EVER
AT A PARTY?
216
00:08:49,161 --> 00:08:51,264
I HAVE ONE EVERY TIME
YOU LEAVE A ROOM.
217
00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:54,100
I HAVE A DRINK EVERY TIME
YOU COME IN ONE.
218
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:57,303
YOU KNOW, I WAS GOING
TO KILL MYSELF SATURDAY.
219
00:08:57,403 --> 00:08:59,038
BUT I'M A PARTY GUY.
220
00:08:59,138 --> 00:09:02,108
SO, I GUESS I COULD PUSH IT
TO SUNDAY.
221
00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:04,110
DO AMERICAN SCHOOL SYSTEMS
222
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:07,513
HAVE NO CRITERIA
FOR HIRING TEACHERS?
223
00:09:08,314 --> 00:09:09,315
HI, EVERYBODY.
224
00:09:09,415 --> 00:09:10,716
Whitey: HI.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
225
00:09:10,816 --> 00:09:12,018
I WAS JUST INVITING EVERYONE
226
00:09:12,118 --> 00:09:14,754
TO MY UNCLE RUDOLPH'S
BIRTHDAY PARTY.
227
00:09:14,854 --> 00:09:16,989
YOU INVITED THEM BEFORE ME?
228
00:09:17,089 --> 00:09:21,193
OH. WELL, YOU KNOW,
YOU ALWAYS INVITE THE MOST
INTERESTING PEOPLE LAST.
229
00:09:21,294 --> 00:09:23,062
EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT.
230
00:09:23,162 --> 00:09:24,397
I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
231
00:09:24,497 --> 00:09:26,999
WELL, AREN'T YOU THE LAST PERSON
INVITED ANYWHERE?
232
00:09:27,099 --> 00:09:29,001
WELL, AS A MATTER OF FACT,
I AM.
233
00:09:29,101 --> 00:09:31,571
WELL, THEN THERE YOU GO!
234
00:09:31,671 --> 00:09:32,972
WELL, I'LL BE THERE.
235
00:09:33,072 --> 00:09:34,106
OK.
236
00:09:34,206 --> 00:09:35,675
THANK YOU.
237
00:09:35,775 --> 00:09:40,413
OH, BY THE WAY, RAJ,
THIS INVITATION IS EXTENDED
TO YOU AS WELL.
238
00:09:40,513 --> 00:09:42,715
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK
THAT I ASSUMED THAT IT DIDN'T?
239
00:09:42,815 --> 00:09:44,717
SINCE I'VE BEEN STANDING HERE
THE WHOLE TIME
240
00:09:44,817 --> 00:09:47,119
AND HEARD YOU SAY,
"ALL OF YOU ARE INVITED,"
241
00:09:47,219 --> 00:09:48,688
AND TECHNICALLY, BEING HUMAN,
242
00:09:48,788 --> 00:09:52,391
CONSIDERED MYSELF
TO BE PART OF THE "ALL."
243
00:09:52,491 --> 00:09:54,160
WELL, I MEANT NO DISRESPECT.
244
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:57,163
I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE
THAT YOU WERE THERE
245
00:09:57,263 --> 00:09:59,198
BECAUSE SOMEBODY HAS
TO CLEAN UP.
246
00:09:59,298 --> 00:10:03,202
I ACCEPT YOUR APOLOGY,
YOU DIRTY SON OF A MOTHERLESS--
247
00:10:03,302 --> 00:10:06,505
I CAN'T BELIEVE THE BRITISH
STAYED THERE SO LONG.
248
00:10:08,641 --> 00:10:10,142
[SIGH]
249
00:10:16,115 --> 00:10:17,950
OK. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
LET'S GET DRESSED.
250
00:10:18,050 --> 00:10:19,418
WE'RE ALL READY
15 MINUTES LATE.
251
00:10:19,518 --> 00:10:20,920
IT'S A SURPRISE PARTY, JOY.
252
00:10:21,020 --> 00:10:23,422
WE'RE SUPPOSED TO GET THERE
BEFORE THE SURPRISEE. COME ON.
253
00:10:23,522 --> 00:10:25,291
WOULD YOU RELAX?
WE HAVE GOT PLENTY OF TIME.
254
00:10:25,391 --> 00:10:27,893
OK, WHICH ONE DO YOU LIKE?
THE RED ONE OR THE BLUE ONE?
255
00:10:27,994 --> 00:10:29,395
WHICHEVER ONE GOES ON
THE QUICKEST.
256
00:10:29,495 --> 00:10:31,998
WHY DON'T YOU THROW HEELS
ON WITH THE ROBE AND LET'S GO.
257
00:10:32,098 --> 00:10:34,567
COME ON. SERIOUSLY,
I WANT YOUR OPINION.
258
00:10:34,667 --> 00:10:35,635
BLUE.
259
00:10:35,735 --> 00:10:37,103
YOU DIDN'T EVEN
THINK ABOUT IT, EDDIE.
260
00:10:37,203 --> 00:10:38,904
COME ON,
THIS IS IMPORTANT TO ME.
261
00:10:39,005 --> 00:10:40,339
WE NEVER GET INVITED
TO PARTIES.
262
00:10:40,439 --> 00:10:42,108
ESPECIALLY
WITH PEOPLE WE WORK WITH.
263
00:10:42,208 --> 00:10:44,110
I WANT TO LOOK MY BEST.
264
00:10:44,210 --> 00:10:46,712
SO YOU WANT TO IMPRESS
THOSE GARGOYLES WE WORK WITH?
265
00:10:46,812 --> 00:10:47,980
RAJ, THE OLD DRUNK,
266
00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:50,950
MRS. ROONEY,
THE GUY WITH THE GUN?
267
00:10:51,050 --> 00:10:52,051
PICK A DRESS.
268
00:10:52,151 --> 00:10:53,052
I DID. BLUE.
269
00:10:53,152 --> 00:10:54,487
YOU DON'T THINK
IT'S TOO SLUTTY?
270
00:10:54,587 --> 00:10:56,956
ON YOU? NO.
271
00:10:57,056 --> 00:10:58,824
ALL RIGHT, I'M GOING
TO WEAR THE RED.
272
00:10:58,924 --> 00:11:01,127
OK, WAIT.
JUST OUT OF CURIOSITY,
WHAT THE HELL?
273
00:11:01,227 --> 00:11:02,428
[PHONE RINGS]
I'LL GET IT.
274
00:11:02,528 --> 00:11:06,165
NO. NO. I'LL GET IT!
"YOU" GET DRESSED. OK?
275
00:11:06,265 --> 00:11:07,066
HELLO.
276
00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:09,035
EDDIE!
EDDIE, WHERE ARE YOU?
277
00:11:09,135 --> 00:11:10,169
HE'S ALMOST HERE.
278
00:11:10,269 --> 00:11:11,337
I KNOW, WHITEY.
WE'RE OUT THE DOOR.
279
00:11:11,437 --> 00:11:12,471
WE'LL BE THERE SOON.
280
00:11:12,571 --> 00:11:14,674
WELL, HURRY!
OK.
281
00:11:14,774 --> 00:11:16,308
WAS THAT EDDIE?
282
00:11:19,378 --> 00:11:21,514
YES. HE'S ON HIS WAY.
283
00:11:21,614 --> 00:11:24,383
OHH. SO, I GOT HERE ON TIME.
284
00:11:24,483 --> 00:11:26,786
AND I'M STANDING AROUND
IN ALL THIS FILTH,
285
00:11:26,886 --> 00:11:29,989
WHILE EDDIE STARK
IS OUT THERE
BREATHING FRESH AIR.
286
00:11:30,089 --> 00:11:31,557
WELL, UNFORTUNATELY, YES.
287
00:11:31,657 --> 00:11:32,892
OK, WHERE'S THE BAR?
288
00:11:32,992 --> 00:11:33,893
THE WHAT?
289
00:11:33,993 --> 00:11:35,194
YEAH, I NEED A DRINK!
290
00:11:35,294 --> 00:11:37,863
UH. I--I DON'T THINK
THAT'S A GOOD IDEA,
IS IT?
291
00:11:37,963 --> 00:11:40,232
I MEAN, YOU KNOW
THE AFFECT ALCOHOL
HAS ON YOU, MISTRESS.
292
00:11:40,332 --> 00:11:41,801
I MEAN, THE LAST TIME
YOU HAD A DRINK,
293
00:11:41,901 --> 00:11:44,670
I ENDED UP NEEDING
A SKIN GRAFT.
294
00:11:44,770 --> 00:11:49,141
BUT YOU DID LEARN
NOT TO SPILL MOMMY'S
MARGARITA NOW, DIDN'T YOU?
295
00:11:49,241 --> 00:11:52,344
SEE?
IT WAS A TEACHABLE MOMENT.
296
00:11:53,579 --> 00:11:54,980
WHERE'S THE BOOZE?
297
00:11:55,081 --> 00:11:56,315
WELL, IT'S IN THE KITCHEN
298
00:11:56,415 --> 00:11:58,084
IN THE 3rd REFRIGERATOR
TO THE RIGHT, LOWER SHELF.
299
00:11:58,184 --> 00:12:00,653
NO. NO. NO.
I DON'T WANT THE ROT GUT
300
00:12:00,753 --> 00:12:02,421
YOU'RE SERVING
TO THE GOON PLATOON.
301
00:12:02,521 --> 00:12:03,856
I WANT THE GOOD STUFF!
302
00:12:03,956 --> 00:12:05,758
ALL RIGHT. FOLLOW THIS
PURPLE CORD OVER HERE.
303
00:12:05,858 --> 00:12:07,460
ALL THE WAY UP
TO THE WHEELBARROW
304
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,395
FILLED WITH THE LITTLE
GORBACHEV DOLLS.
305
00:12:09,495 --> 00:12:14,066
AND EACH ONE OF THOSE
HAS A LITTLE AIRLINE-SIZED
BOTTLE OF VODKA INSIDE IT..
306
00:12:14,166 --> 00:12:17,002
THE RED SPLOTCH
ON THE FOREHEAD IS THE SPOUT.
307
00:12:17,103 --> 00:12:20,005
OH, YOU'RE GOING
TO PAY FOR THAT!
308
00:12:25,711 --> 00:12:28,848
OK, EVERYBODY READY?
309
00:12:28,948 --> 00:12:31,917
I AM. BUT I CAN'T SEEM
TO FIND DOUG.
310
00:12:32,017 --> 00:12:33,652
WHAT DO YOU MEAN
YOU CAN'T FIND DOUG?
311
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:35,287
WELL, YOU KNOW THE GAME
"HIDE AND SEEK?"
312
00:12:35,387 --> 00:12:37,656
YEAH, THE GAME YOU PLAY
WHEN YOU'RE 3 YEARS OLD?
313
00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:39,225
YEAH, WELL,
DOUG'S REALLY GOOD AT IT.
314
00:12:39,325 --> 00:12:40,726
AND HE'S BEEN HIDING
FOR OVER AN HOUR.
315
00:12:40,826 --> 00:12:42,261
AND I CAN'T SEEM TO FIND HIM.
316
00:12:42,361 --> 00:12:44,697
SO YOU GUYS ARE PLAYING
"HIDE AND SEEK" RIGHT NOW?
317
00:12:44,797 --> 00:12:47,133
YEAH, IT WAS DOUG'S MAIN SPORT
IN HIGH SCHOOL.
318
00:12:47,233 --> 00:12:48,701
HE WOULD HAVE GOTTEN
A SCHOLARSHIP FOR IT
319
00:12:48,801 --> 00:12:53,172
IF IT WAS RECOGNIZED
BY ANYONE ANYWHERE.
320
00:12:53,272 --> 00:12:55,474
DOESN'T HE KNOW
WE HAVE TO LEAVE?
321
00:12:55,574 --> 00:12:57,376
OH YEAH, HE CAN HEAR YOU.
YOU JUST CAN'T SEE HIM.
322
00:12:57,476 --> 00:12:59,044
AND NOW THAT HE KNOWS
THAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR HIM,
323
00:12:59,145 --> 00:13:01,447
THAT'LL JUST STOKE THE FLAMES
OF HIS COMPETITIVE JUICES.
324
00:13:01,547 --> 00:13:03,315
WE MAY NEVER FIND HIM.
325
00:13:03,415 --> 00:13:05,618
I'LL STOKE HIS FLAMES.
326
00:13:05,718 --> 00:13:07,153
DOUG!
327
00:13:07,253 --> 00:13:08,420
OK. LISTEN TO ME.
328
00:13:08,521 --> 00:13:10,189
WHEREVER YOU ARE,
329
00:13:10,289 --> 00:13:14,160
I ASK YOU TO COME
OUT OF HIDING RIGHT NOW...
330
00:13:14,260 --> 00:13:16,028
AND REVEAL YOURSELF!
331
00:13:16,128 --> 00:13:18,230
DAD, YOU KNOW,
HE'S NOT UNDER THE TABLE.
332
00:13:18,330 --> 00:13:19,165
HE'S IN THE ZONE.
333
00:13:19,265 --> 00:13:20,766
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO FIND HIM.
334
00:13:20,866 --> 00:13:22,034
OH YEAH?
335
00:13:22,134 --> 00:13:23,536
ALL RIGHT, DOUG?
LISTEN TO ME.
336
00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:25,504
THIS IS NOT A THREAT.
337
00:13:25,604 --> 00:13:28,440
I'M JUST MAKING A STATEMENT.
338
00:13:28,541 --> 00:13:31,544
I RESPECT YOUR ABILITY TO HIDE.
339
00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:37,249
AND I'M IMPRESSED
THAT YOU HAVE HAD
SUCH SUCCESS WITH IT.
340
00:13:38,884 --> 00:13:43,189
AND I'M SURE THAT
IF THERE WAS ANYTHING
VISUALLY INTERESTING
341
00:13:43,289 --> 00:13:45,758
ABOUT "NOT" BEING ABLE
TO SEE PEOPLE,
342
00:13:45,858 --> 00:13:48,227
I'M SURE THAT IT WOULD BE
A TELEVISED SPORT.
343
00:13:48,327 --> 00:13:50,095
BUT SINCE IT IS NOT,
344
00:13:50,196 --> 00:13:53,866
AND SINCE WE HAVE TO GET TO
A 93-YEAR-OLD'S SURPRISE
BIRTHDAY PARTY RIGHT NOW,
345
00:13:53,966 --> 00:13:57,269
I ASK THAT YOU COME OUT
OF YOUR HIDING PLACE NOW.
346
00:13:57,369 --> 00:13:59,171
PLEASE.
347
00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:03,309
OLLY OLLY OXENFREE, DOUG!
348
00:14:04,710 --> 00:14:06,512
RED ROVER, RED ROVER,
349
00:14:06,612 --> 00:14:10,149
SEND DOUG RIGHT OVER!
350
00:14:10,249 --> 00:14:13,619
WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!
351
00:14:13,719 --> 00:14:15,221
HE'S REALLY GOOD,
ISN'T HE, DADDY?
352
00:14:15,321 --> 00:14:16,589
THAT'S MY MAN.
353
00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:19,325
AND YOU HAVEN'T EVEN
SEEN HIM SEEK.
354
00:14:22,628 --> 00:14:24,096
OK, READY!
355
00:14:24,196 --> 00:14:26,465
FINALLY!
OK, LET'S GO. COME ON.
356
00:14:26,565 --> 00:14:28,901
NO, NO. WE CAN'T GO YET.
WE HAVEN'T FOUND DOUG.
357
00:14:29,001 --> 00:14:31,203
IT'S OK. WE DON'T NEED DOUG.
COME ON, LET'S GO.
358
00:14:31,303 --> 00:14:33,005
IS HE PLAYING
"HIDE AND SEEK" AGAIN?
359
00:14:33,105 --> 00:14:34,907
YEAH, HE'S THE GREATEST.
360
00:14:35,007 --> 00:14:37,076
OK, GOOD. THEN HE'LL STILL BE
HIDING WHEN WE COME HOME.
361
00:14:37,176 --> 00:14:38,143
COME ON, GET MOVING.
362
00:14:38,244 --> 00:14:39,178
YOU KNOW, I WAS THINKING.
363
00:14:39,278 --> 00:14:41,113
MAYBE IT'S NOT THE BEST IDEA
364
00:14:41,213 --> 00:14:42,948
FOR ME TO GO OUT
IN MY CONDITION.
365
00:14:43,048 --> 00:14:45,484
ALLISON, IN YOUR CONDITION?
YOU'RE NOT SICK.
366
00:14:45,584 --> 00:14:46,418
YOU'RE PREGNANT.
367
00:14:46,518 --> 00:14:48,087
AND YOU'VE GOT 2 WEEKS TO GO.
368
00:14:48,187 --> 00:14:50,489
BESIDES, I WAS A WEEK LATE.
369
00:14:50,589 --> 00:14:51,991
THAT REALLY MEANS YOU HAVE
3 WEEKS TO GO.
370
00:14:52,091 --> 00:14:53,659
SO IF I HAVE TO GO
TO THIS PARTY,
371
00:14:53,759 --> 00:14:55,594
YOU HAVE TO GO TO THIS PARTY.
LET'S GO TO THE PARTY.
372
00:14:55,694 --> 00:14:58,063
[CRYING]
373
00:14:58,163 --> 00:14:59,999
ARE YOU HAPPY, JOY?
YOU MADE HER CRY.
374
00:15:00,099 --> 00:15:02,835
WHAT? I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.
IT'S HER HORMONES.
375
00:15:02,935 --> 00:15:07,006
Doug: [CRYING] ALLY,
I'M RIGHT HERE, BABY.
376
00:15:07,106 --> 00:15:09,541
I'M RIGHT HERE.
377
00:15:09,642 --> 00:15:11,944
DOUG?
378
00:15:12,044 --> 00:15:15,214
I'M SO SORRY.
379
00:15:15,314 --> 00:15:17,917
OH, THE COUCH!
BRILLIANT!
380
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:22,688
WHAT THE HELL
ARE YOU DOING?!
381
00:15:22,788 --> 00:15:24,223
I'M A SYMPATHETIC CRIER.
382
00:15:24,323 --> 00:15:25,991
WHEN SOMEBODY ELSE CRIES,
I CRY.
383
00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:29,962
THAT'S HOW THEY ALWAYS
FOUND ME IN "HIDE AND SEEK."
384
00:15:30,062 --> 00:15:33,065
I MEAN, WHAT THE HELL
ARE YOU DOING HIDING
IN OUR COUCH?
385
00:15:33,165 --> 00:15:37,503
OH, I JUST TOOK OUT
THE--THE SLEEPER-BED THINGY
386
00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:39,305
FOR THE PERFECT HIDING PLACE.
387
00:15:39,405 --> 00:15:41,040
YOU HOLLOWED OUT
MY COUCH FOR
A HIDING PLACE?
388
00:15:41,140 --> 00:15:42,908
THAT IS
EXTREMELY DISTURBING.
389
00:15:43,008 --> 00:15:45,210
I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING
THAT'S MORE DISTURBING,
390
00:15:45,311 --> 00:15:48,514
30 SECONDS AGO
I WAS SITTING ON HIS FACE.
391
00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:51,817
YEAH, WELL. IT WAS NO PICNIC
FOR ME, EITHER, SIR.
392
00:15:51,917 --> 00:15:54,086
BUT I'M A PRO.
393
00:15:54,186 --> 00:15:57,456
BOY, I HOPE TO GOD
THE BABY HAS YOUR BRAINS.
394
00:15:57,556 --> 00:15:58,857
ALL RIGHT, ARE WE
GOING TO THIS PARTY
OR WHAT?
395
00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:00,459
YEAH. COME ON, LET'S GO.
396
00:16:00,559 --> 00:16:01,794
WE CAN STILL MAKE IT.
397
00:16:01,894 --> 00:16:04,296
COME ON, CRYBABY DADDY.
398
00:16:09,034 --> 00:16:12,171
WOW. THE BABY HAS MORE ROOM
THAN WE DO.
399
00:16:12,271 --> 00:16:15,641
MAN, THERE ARE SO MANY
HIDING PLACES HERE.
400
00:16:15,741 --> 00:16:18,610
YOU KNOW, THANK GOD
YOU GUYS MADE IT.
401
00:16:18,711 --> 00:16:20,512
I TOLD YOU WE WOULD, WHITEY.
402
00:16:20,612 --> 00:16:22,581
YEAH.
HE'S NOT HERE YET. SO...
403
00:16:22,681 --> 00:16:24,984
HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?
404
00:16:25,084 --> 00:16:26,251
[WHISPERING]
EDDIE, I THOUGHT YOU
WERE EXAGGERATING.
405
00:16:26,352 --> 00:16:27,753
NO. SEE WHAT I'M SAYING?
406
00:16:27,853 --> 00:16:28,921
AND LOOK AT THAT.
THERE'S THE GNOME.
407
00:16:29,021 --> 00:16:30,255
THE GNOME IS BACK.
HE'S ON THE COUCH.
408
00:16:30,356 --> 00:16:31,957
THE GNOME IS THERE.
409
00:16:32,057 --> 00:16:33,759
DAMNIT.
LUTHER GOT BACK IN AGAIN.
410
00:16:33,859 --> 00:16:35,995
I FORGOT TO LOCK
THE DOGGY DOOR.
411
00:16:36,095 --> 00:16:38,864
HEY. HEY, WHITEY,
HOW COME YOU HAVE SO MUCH STUFF?
412
00:16:38,964 --> 00:16:42,801
WELL, YOU KNOW, EVERYTHING
IS CONNECTED TO A MEMORY
OF SOME SORT--
413
00:16:42,901 --> 00:16:45,004
YEAH, OK. YEAH.
SCREW THE MEMORIES,
WHERE'S THE BAR?
414
00:16:45,104 --> 00:16:48,907
OH, IN THE KITCHEN.
3rd REFRIGERATOR
ON THE RIGHT.
415
00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:50,642
OK.
416
00:16:54,146 --> 00:16:56,181
OH. HEY, MS. DUFFY.
417
00:16:56,281 --> 00:17:01,987
OH, HEY, JOY. WOW.
YOU'RE IN 3-D TONIGHT.
418
00:17:02,087 --> 00:17:03,989
HEY, WHO--WHO DID YOUR JUGS?
419
00:17:04,089 --> 00:17:07,026
BECAUSE I'M THINKING
ABOUT GETTING
A BIGGER RACK MYSELF.
420
00:17:07,126 --> 00:17:10,929
WELL, MINE WERE DONE
BY GOD...AND GRAVITY.
421
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:13,999
AWW. WELL, I GUESS
IT ALL BALANCES OUT
IN THE END.
422
00:17:14,099 --> 00:17:16,935
YOU KNOW, YOU'VE GOT THESE
2 GREAT BOOBS HERE
423
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:18,370
AND ONE BIG UGLY
ONE OVER THERE.
424
00:17:18,470 --> 00:17:21,473
[LAUGHING, SNORTING]
425
00:17:21,573 --> 00:17:25,244
I JUST--
I JUST MADE A FUNNY.
426
00:17:25,344 --> 00:17:26,779
NOT SO MUCH.
427
00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:28,247
OH, HEY, JOY,
428
00:17:28,347 --> 00:17:30,082
CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING,
GIRL TO GIRL?
429
00:17:30,182 --> 00:17:31,483
SURE.
430
00:17:31,583 --> 00:17:34,253
ARE YOU AT ALL INTERESTED
IN GIRL TO GIRL?
431
00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:39,658
OK, I THINK YOU'VE HAD
A LITTLE TOO MUCH TO DRINK.
432
00:17:39,758 --> 00:17:41,860
HA! YOU THINK?
433
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:44,863
BACK IN INDIA
I WAS ALSO A DOCTOR.
434
00:17:44,963 --> 00:17:47,199
REALLY?
A FELLOW DOCTOR, HUH?
435
00:17:47,299 --> 00:17:49,068
LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION.
436
00:17:49,168 --> 00:17:52,438
WHERE DO YOU GUYS LAND
ON THE WHOLE HAND WASHING
THING?
437
00:17:52,538 --> 00:17:53,872
WELL, I'M IN FAVOR OF IT.
438
00:17:53,972 --> 00:17:56,775
BACK AT HOME I OFTEN
HAD MY PATIENTS WASH
THEIR HANDS.
439
00:17:56,875 --> 00:17:59,378
WE DON'T CALL THEM
UNTOUCHABLES FOR NOTHING.
440
00:17:59,478 --> 00:18:01,280
HEY! [CHUCKLING]
441
00:18:01,380 --> 00:18:02,581
I GOT A THEORY
ON THE WHOLE GHANDI THING.
442
00:18:02,681 --> 00:18:05,017
IT WASN'T A HUNGER STRIKE.
HE WAS BULIMIC.
443
00:18:05,117 --> 00:18:06,051
REALLY?
444
00:18:06,151 --> 00:18:07,686
YEAH. YEAH.
445
00:18:07,786 --> 00:18:09,088
THE WHOLE THING--
HE WAS LOOKING
FOR ATTENTION
446
00:18:09,188 --> 00:18:10,556
LIKE A LITTLE TEENAGE GIRL.
447
00:18:10,656 --> 00:18:12,224
STANDING IN FRONT
OF THE MIRROR--
448
00:18:12,324 --> 00:18:14,193
[IMITATING INDIAN ACCENT]
"DOES THIS DIAPER
MAKE ME LOOK FAT?
449
00:18:14,293 --> 00:18:17,029
LOOK FROM HERE.
LOOK FROM HERE."
450
00:18:17,129 --> 00:18:19,164
WHAT IS WRONG
WITH THIS COUNTRY?
451
00:18:19,264 --> 00:18:21,700
I'M SO ROOTING FOR CHINA.
452
00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:23,235
HEY, MORE DIM SUM, HUH?!
453
00:18:23,335 --> 00:18:26,205
OH, MY FAVORITE!
454
00:18:26,305 --> 00:18:28,941
HEY, UH, EXCUSE ME.
DO YOU MIND IF MY WIFE
SITS THERE?
455
00:18:29,041 --> 00:18:31,643
SHE'S--SHE'S PREGNANT.
456
00:18:31,743 --> 00:18:33,245
NOT MY BABY.
457
00:18:37,316 --> 00:18:39,885
ALL RIGHT, QUIET. QUIET.
HERE HE COMES, OK?
458
00:18:39,985 --> 00:18:41,553
EVERYBODY GET YOUR CYMBALS.
459
00:18:41,653 --> 00:18:43,188
REMEMBER--SHOCKINGLY LOUD!
460
00:18:43,288 --> 00:18:45,891
AND RAJ,
DON'T GO EASY ON THAT AIR HORN!
461
00:18:45,991 --> 00:18:47,693
SAY "SURPRISE," HERE WE GO!
462
00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:52,531
All: SURPRISE!
[AIR HORN BLARES]
463
00:18:56,535 --> 00:18:59,004
UNCLE RUDOLPH,
WEREN'T YOU SURPRISED?
464
00:18:59,104 --> 00:19:02,875
OH, I DON'T KNOW.
LET ME CHECK.
465
00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:05,577
NO. THAT'S FROM YESTERDAY.
466
00:19:09,915 --> 00:19:14,086
Eddie and Joy:
OK, LET'S GO!
467
00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:17,523
WOW. THAT WAS SOME PARTY.
468
00:19:17,623 --> 00:19:20,726
IT'S THE FIRST TIME I EVER
TOOK A SHOT TO THE BASKET
BY A LITTLE PERSON.
469
00:19:20,826 --> 00:19:23,662
I GUESS I COULD
TAKE THAT OFF MY BUCKET LIST.
470
00:19:23,762 --> 00:19:27,900
DID YOU GUYS SEE
THAT CHICKEN
THAT PLAYS CHECKERS?
471
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:31,737
ALMOST BEAT HIM
THE SECOND TIME.
472
00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:35,874
I'M JUST GLAD WE GOT
OUT OF THERE BEFORE DUFFY
STOLE 3rd BASE.
473
00:19:35,974 --> 00:19:38,977
OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD!
HE'S KICKING!
474
00:19:39,077 --> 00:19:39,945
COME HERE.
YEAH?
475
00:19:40,045 --> 00:19:42,281
HA HA!
LET ME SEE. LET ME SEE.
476
00:19:43,715 --> 00:19:44,716
Joy: OOH!
477
00:19:44,816 --> 00:19:47,419
OHH! DOUG.
478
00:19:47,519 --> 00:19:48,987
YEAH.
479
00:19:49,087 --> 00:19:51,657
OH, MY GOD!
480
00:19:51,757 --> 00:19:52,891
HEY DUDE.
481
00:19:52,991 --> 00:19:56,328
YOU'RE ABOUT TO LEAVE
THE ULTIMATE HIDING PLACE.
482
00:19:58,030 --> 00:19:59,331
DADDY?
483
00:19:59,431 --> 00:20:03,602
NAH, EVERY TIME I PUT MY BIG
MITT ON HIM, HE STOPS KICKING.
484
00:20:03,702 --> 00:20:04,603
COME ON.
485
00:20:04,703 --> 00:20:05,571
COME ON.
486
00:20:05,671 --> 00:20:08,840
ALL RIGHT. OK.
487
00:20:08,941 --> 00:20:10,042
HEY, LITTLE GUY.
488
00:20:10,142 --> 00:20:12,277
IT'S GRANDPOP-POP.
489
00:20:12,377 --> 00:20:13,979
PRETTY COOL, HUH?
490
00:20:14,079 --> 00:20:16,448
YEAH. OH, MY GOD.
491
00:20:16,548 --> 00:20:21,787
IT'S AMAZING TO THINK THAT
INSIDE HERE IS A LITTLE BRAIN.
492
00:20:38,403 --> 00:20:39,304
Director: ACTION.
493
00:20:39,404 --> 00:20:40,939
{\an8}AND THIS IS SOFT!
494
00:20:41,039 --> 00:20:42,441
{\an8}HA HA HA! OW!
495
00:20:44,042 --> 00:20:45,344
{\an8}I THINK THAT WAS
MORE LIKE THE LEG.
496
00:20:45,444 --> 00:20:47,412
{\an8}GO FOR IT.
GO FOR REAL HITS.
497
00:20:47,512 --> 00:20:49,848
{\an8}ALL RIGHT.
SERIOUSLY.
498
00:20:49,948 --> 00:20:50,983
{\an8}Director: ACTION.
499
00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:53,852
{\an8}AND THIS IS SOFT.
500
00:20:53,952 --> 00:20:55,420
{\an8}OHH!
501
00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:57,856
{\an8}[LAUGHTER OFFSTAGE]
502
00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:02,961
{\an8}OHH...
503
00:21:03,061 --> 00:21:04,663
{\an8}GOD.
504
00:21:04,763 --> 00:21:06,732
{\an8}Director: ALL RIGHT.
GO AHEAD.
505
00:21:06,832 --> 00:21:08,333
{\an8}THAT WAS DEAD ON.
38518
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