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1
00:00:03,837 --> 00:00:05,939
{\an8}AND I WIN AGAIN, EDDIE.
2
00:00:06,039 --> 00:00:07,173
{\an8}YEP. I TELL YOU WHAT,
3
00:00:07,273 --> 00:00:08,608
{\an8}I'LL LET YOU WIN
EVERY TIME,
4
00:00:08,708 --> 00:00:11,244
{\an8}YOU KEEP INVITING ME
TO YOUR SWANKY CLUB
HERE, TOMMY.
5
00:00:11,344 --> 00:00:13,380
{\an8}OH, ANY TIME, EDDIE.
6
00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:16,383
{\an8}AND, ACTUALLY, I WANTED
TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE.
7
00:00:16,483 --> 00:00:17,684
{\an8}OH, YEAH? WHAT,
ARE YOU HAVING TROUBLE
8
00:00:17,784 --> 00:00:18,885
{\an8}WITH THE YOUNG,
HOT WIFE?
9
00:00:18,985 --> 00:00:21,121
{\an8}YEAH, THERE'S
SOMETHING WRONG WITH HER.
10
00:00:21,221 --> 00:00:23,723
{\an8}IT'S LIKE, UH,
SHE'S BROKEN.
11
00:00:23,823 --> 00:00:25,992
{\an8}LIKE ONE OF HER TOYS.
12
00:00:26,092 --> 00:00:27,360
{\an8}WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
13
00:00:27,460 --> 00:00:28,695
{\an8}WELL, A COUPLE
OF WEEKS AGO,
14
00:00:28,795 --> 00:00:30,196
{\an8}SHE STARTED TALKING,
15
00:00:30,296 --> 00:00:32,732
{\an8}AND I THOUGHT
IT WAS JUST A PHASE
SHE WAS GOING THROUGH.
16
00:00:32,832 --> 00:00:34,868
{\an8}BUT THEN,
SHE WOULDN'T STOP.
17
00:00:34,968 --> 00:00:36,569
{\an8}AND THE WORST PART
ABOUT IT
18
00:00:36,669 --> 00:00:37,971
{\an8}IS SHE WANTS ME
TO LISTEN.
19
00:00:38,071 --> 00:00:42,776
{\an8}AND SHE'S NOT EVEN WEARING
LINGERIE WHEN SHE DOES IT.
20
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:44,244
{\an8}WELL, WHAT DOES SHE
WANT TO TALK ABOUT?
21
00:00:44,344 --> 00:00:47,447
{\an8}ALL I KNOW IS,
IT'S NOT ABOUT ME.
22
00:00:47,547 --> 00:00:50,917
{\an8}AND GIANT WORDS
LIKE "CONNECTION,"
23
00:00:51,017 --> 00:00:53,653
{\an8}"EMOTION," "I FEEL."
24
00:00:53,753 --> 00:00:54,954
{\an8}IT'S LIKE, I DON'T KNOW,
25
00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:58,158
{\an8}MY WIFE IS STARTING
TO ACT LIKE, UH--
26
00:00:58,258 --> 00:00:59,192
{\an8}A WIFE?
27
00:00:59,292 --> 00:01:01,728
{\an8}YEAH. IT'S DISQUIETING.
28
00:01:01,828 --> 00:01:04,998
{\an8}I HAD A WIFE ONCE,
AND I HAD IT REMOVED.
29
00:01:06,232 --> 00:01:08,435
{\an8}HMM. CAN'T YOU SEE
WHAT'S HAPPENING?
30
00:01:08,535 --> 00:01:11,137
{\an8}YOUR LITTLE GIRL IS
BECOMING A WOMAN,
31
00:01:11,237 --> 00:01:13,339
{\an8}WITH HER OWN
NEEDS AND WANTS.
32
00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:16,943
{\an8}ALL I WANT
IS WHAT I PAID FOR:
33
00:01:17,043 --> 00:01:19,679
{\an8}A HOTTIE
WITH AN IRON STOMACH
34
00:01:19,779 --> 00:01:24,818
{\an8}WHO FULFILLS
EVERY ONE OF MY SICK,
TWISTED DESIRES.
35
00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:27,153
{\an8}IS THAT
TOO MUCH TO ASK?
36
00:01:29,222 --> 00:01:30,657
{\an8}WELL, I--
37
00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:35,995
{\an8}WHAT?
38
00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:37,397
{\an8}WELL, WHEN YOU FLY,
39
00:01:37,497 --> 00:01:39,499
{\an8}DO YOU HAVE TO BUY
AN EXTRA TICKET
FOR THAT THING?
40
00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:42,936
{\an8}NO, I JUST
HOLD IT IN MY LAP
41
00:01:43,036 --> 00:01:45,238
{\an8}DURING TAKEOFFS
AND LANDINGS.
42
00:01:46,973 --> 00:01:48,641
{\an8}SO, YOU GONNA JOIN ME
IN THE SHOWER?
43
00:01:48,741 --> 00:01:49,843
{\an8}NO, NO.
44
00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:52,212
{\an8}GO--GO AHEAD.
SUIT YOURSELF.
45
00:02:04,357 --> 00:02:05,558
THE THING
WAS ENORMOUS
46
00:02:05,658 --> 00:02:07,260
AND IT WAS TERRIFYING.
47
00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:09,996
I MEAN, HE SHOULD--HE
SHOULD JUST PUT IT IN A
CAGE AND FEED IT MICE.
48
00:02:10,096 --> 00:02:11,464
[LAUGHING]
49
00:02:11,564 --> 00:02:13,433
IT SHOULD BE
HANGING IN THE WINDOW
OF THE CARNEGIE DELI.
50
00:02:13,533 --> 00:02:14,801
IF YOU PUT ARMS
ON THE THING,
51
00:02:14,901 --> 00:02:16,836
IT COULD HAVE BEEN
BILL WALTON'S
STUNT DOUBLE.
52
00:02:16,936 --> 00:02:18,271
AND HERE'S THE THING.
53
00:02:18,371 --> 00:02:20,006
LISTEN, IT WAS STILL
IN THE SLEEP MODE.
54
00:02:20,106 --> 00:02:21,141
IT WASN'T
EVEN ANGRY YET.
55
00:02:21,241 --> 00:02:23,143
OK, I GOT IT.
IT WAS BIG.
56
00:02:23,243 --> 00:02:26,112
YEAH, AND THAT WAS
EVEN AFTER HIS RABBI
TOOK HIS 10%.
57
00:02:26,212 --> 00:02:28,348
ALL RIGHT.
58
00:02:28,448 --> 00:02:30,016
IT WAS HUGE.
59
00:02:30,116 --> 00:02:32,485
AND IT WAS UNCALLED FOR.
60
00:02:32,585 --> 00:02:34,254
AND IT'S LEFT ME
VERY SHAKEN,
61
00:02:34,354 --> 00:02:38,024
BECAUSE ALL I CAN
KEEP THINKING ABOUT IS
MY LITTLE PEA SHOOTER.
62
00:02:38,124 --> 00:02:39,492
OH, STOP IT, EDDIE.
63
00:02:39,592 --> 00:02:40,827
YOU'RE FINE.
64
00:02:40,927 --> 00:02:43,163
COME ON.
IT GETS THE JOB DONE.
65
00:02:44,564 --> 00:02:46,900
"GETS THE JOB DONE?"
66
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,535
YEAH.
67
00:02:48,635 --> 00:02:51,671
THAT'S
LIKE SAYING, "YOU'RE
THE TALLEST DWARF."
68
00:02:51,771 --> 00:02:53,973
STOP IT. THERE'S
NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU.
69
00:02:54,073 --> 00:02:55,074
NOTHING WRONG. COME ON.
70
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:57,777
I'M--I'M BUILT LIKE
AN ASIAN CHILD.
71
00:02:58,511 --> 00:02:59,646
NO, YOU'RE NOT.
72
00:02:59,746 --> 00:03:00,747
I MEAN, LOOK,
73
00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:02,448
IT'S ALL ABOUT
PROPORTIONS ANYWAY.
74
00:03:02,549 --> 00:03:05,552
I MEAN, IF YOUR THINGY
WAS ON, I DON'T KNOW,
75
00:03:05,652 --> 00:03:09,289
YOUR FRIEND WHITEY,
IT WOULD BE ALMOST AVERAGE.
76
00:03:09,389 --> 00:03:11,658
"ALMOST AVERAGE."
77
00:03:11,758 --> 00:03:13,660
OK, AVERAGE.
I DON'T KNOW.
78
00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:15,261
LISTEN, I'VE LEARNED
TO LIVE WITH IT.
79
00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:16,629
SO CAN YOU.
80
00:03:24,971 --> 00:03:26,239
HEY, LISTEN,
YOU TWO.
81
00:03:26,339 --> 00:03:27,307
SURPRISE.
82
00:03:27,407 --> 00:03:29,509
I HAVE HERE A PICTURE
OF YOUR BABY.
83
00:03:29,609 --> 00:03:31,644
OH, IS THAT A PRINTOUT
OF THE SONOGRAM?
84
00:03:31,744 --> 00:03:34,180
NO, I DID A SKETCH OF
WHAT I THINK THE BABY
MIGHT LOOK LIKE.
85
00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:36,616
OF COURSE IT'S
A PRINTOUT OF
THE SONOGRAM.
86
00:03:37,951 --> 00:03:39,085
DON'T YOU WANT
TO SEE IT?
87
00:03:39,185 --> 00:03:40,353
NO, NO, NO.
88
00:03:40,453 --> 00:03:41,821
THAT'S WHY I
DIDN'T COME INTO
THE ROOM BEFORE.
89
00:03:41,921 --> 00:03:43,723
BECAUSE I DON'T
WANT TO KNOW THE
SEX OF THE BABY.
90
00:03:43,823 --> 00:03:44,991
I WANT IT TO BE
A SURPRISE.
91
00:03:45,091 --> 00:03:46,826
ALL RIGHT. WELL THEN,
WAIT OUTSIDE.
92
00:03:46,926 --> 00:03:48,828
OK.
93
00:03:48,928 --> 00:03:50,396
ALLIE, CAN I
ASK YOU SOMETHING?
94
00:03:50,496 --> 00:03:54,000
HOW DID YOU HOOK UP
WITH THIS MOOK?
95
00:03:54,867 --> 00:03:56,069
WHAT'D YOU DO?
LOSE A BET?
96
00:03:56,169 --> 00:03:57,770
NO, I LOVE HIM.
97
00:03:57,870 --> 00:03:59,939
I MEAN, HE'S
A LITTLE ODD AND STRANGE,
98
00:04:00,039 --> 00:04:01,274
BUT HE'S REALLY SWEET
99
00:04:01,374 --> 00:04:02,942
AND HE HAS
A REALLY BIG HEART.
100
00:04:03,042 --> 00:04:05,912
WELL, APPARENTLY,
YOUR SON TAKES AFTER HIM
AS FAR AS "BIG" GOES.
101
00:04:06,012 --> 00:04:07,747
BUT IT'S NOT HIS HEART
I'M TALKING ABOUT.
102
00:04:07,847 --> 00:04:09,148
CHECK THAT OUT.
103
00:04:12,852 --> 00:04:14,354
HOLY MOLY.
104
00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:22,895
HEY, HOW WAS
THE DOCTOR'S
APPOINTMENT?
105
00:04:22,996 --> 00:04:24,464
IT WAS GREAT.
THE BABY'S HEALTHY.
106
00:04:24,564 --> 00:04:26,199
YOU KNOW,
10 FINGERS, 10 TOES,
107
00:04:26,299 --> 00:04:27,267
NOSE IN THE RIGHT PLACE.
108
00:04:27,367 --> 00:04:28,868
OH, THAT'S AMAZING.
109
00:04:28,968 --> 00:04:29,936
DID YOU FIND OUT
THE SEX?
110
00:04:30,036 --> 00:04:31,871
YEAH, BUT DOUG
DOESN'T WANNA KNOW.
111
00:04:31,971 --> 00:04:33,773
BUT I DON'T GIVE
A DAMN ABOUT DOUG.
112
00:04:33,873 --> 00:04:35,008
IS IT A BOY OR A GIRL?
113
00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:37,010
MOM, I CAN'T TELL YOU
114
00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:38,578
BECAUSE IF YOU KNOW,
YOU'RE GONNA TELL DAD,
115
00:04:38,678 --> 00:04:40,179
AND THEN, IF WE ALL KNOW
AND DOUG DOESN'T,
116
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:41,381
WELL, THAT'S NOT FAIR.
117
00:04:41,481 --> 00:04:42,548
ALLIE!
IT'S A BOY.
118
00:04:42,649 --> 00:04:44,484
IT'S A BOY!
119
00:04:44,584 --> 00:04:45,752
COME HERE.
120
00:04:45,852 --> 00:04:47,453
OH, IT'S
A LITTLE BOY.
121
00:04:47,553 --> 00:04:48,554
[BOTH LAUGHING]
122
00:04:48,655 --> 00:04:50,123
OH, IT'S
EXCITING NEWS.
123
00:04:50,223 --> 00:04:51,391
YEAH, IT IS, ISN'T IT?
124
00:04:51,491 --> 00:04:53,993
BUT IT'S ALSO
A LITTLE WORRYING.
125
00:04:54,093 --> 00:04:55,094
WHY?
126
00:04:55,194 --> 00:04:56,362
WELL, I DON'T KNOW
HOW TO RAISE A BOY.
127
00:04:56,462 --> 00:04:57,664
I MEAN, ALL I KNOW
IS GIRL STUFF.
128
00:04:57,764 --> 00:04:59,966
YOU KNOW,
LITTLE DRESSES AND DOLLS.
129
00:05:00,066 --> 00:05:01,134
LITTLE PINK BOWS.
130
00:05:01,234 --> 00:05:03,102
SO, RAISE A GAY MAN.
131
00:05:03,202 --> 00:05:04,404
IT'LL BE EASIER.
132
00:05:04,504 --> 00:05:06,873
WE CAN ALL GET
MANI-PEDIS TOGETHER.
133
00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:08,341
DOUG AND I COULD DO THAT.
134
00:05:08,441 --> 00:05:10,209
WELL, HECK.
I THOUGHT HE WAS GAY
WHEN I FIRST MET HIM.
135
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:11,611
THE FIRST COUPLE OF WEEKS
WE WERE GOING OUT
136
00:05:11,711 --> 00:05:14,180
I KEPT TRYING TO FIX HIM UP
WITH MY FRIEND PAUL.
137
00:05:14,280 --> 00:05:15,481
HEY, LISTEN.
HE KNOCKED YOU UP.
138
00:05:15,581 --> 00:05:18,451
I'M STILL
NOT CONVINCED
HE'S STRAIGHT.
139
00:05:18,551 --> 00:05:19,419
BUT SERIOUSLY, MOM.
140
00:05:19,519 --> 00:05:21,120
HOW DO YOU RAISE A BOY?
141
00:05:22,021 --> 00:05:22,922
WOW.
142
00:05:23,022 --> 00:05:25,425
I--I DON'T KNOW.
143
00:05:25,525 --> 00:05:27,393
I MEAN, I ALWAYS THOUGHT
THAT, GIVEN THE CHANCE,
144
00:05:27,493 --> 00:05:30,029
I WOULD RAISE A BOY
TO BE THE KIND OF MAN
145
00:05:30,129 --> 00:05:32,231
THAT EVERY WOMAN
WOULD WANT.
146
00:05:33,533 --> 00:05:34,367
SENSITIVE.
147
00:05:34,467 --> 00:05:36,669
BUT STRONG.
STRONG. MM-MMM.
148
00:05:36,769 --> 00:05:37,670
ARTISTIC.
149
00:05:37,770 --> 00:05:40,540
BUT ABLE TO FIX A TOILET.
150
00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:43,276
YOU'RE GONNA RAISE
THE MOST AMAZING GUY
151
00:05:43,376 --> 00:05:46,045
IN THE HISTORY
OF AMAZING GUYS.
152
00:05:46,145 --> 00:05:50,116
THE WORLD'S FIRST EVER
GAY STRAIGHT GUY.
153
00:05:50,216 --> 00:05:52,552
I'M SO EXCITED.
YEAH, ME TOO.
154
00:05:52,652 --> 00:05:53,786
HEY, WAIT.
155
00:05:53,886 --> 00:05:55,254
IS THAT
THE ULTRASOUND?
156
00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:56,556
YEAH, IT IS.
157
00:05:56,656 --> 00:05:57,990
TAKE A LOOK.
OK.
158
00:05:59,726 --> 00:06:01,961
[SIGHS]
159
00:06:02,061 --> 00:06:03,930
THIS KID
COULD BE A MAJOR
LEAGUE PITCHER.
160
00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:05,264
LOOK AT THE ARM
ON HIM.
161
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:07,834
OH, THAT'S NOT HIS ARM.
162
00:06:07,934 --> 00:06:09,969
HOLY CANOLI.
163
00:06:16,175 --> 00:06:17,176
WHAT'S UP, LITTLE BUDDY.
164
00:06:17,276 --> 00:06:19,679
WHY? WHAT HAVE
YOU HEARD?
165
00:06:19,779 --> 00:06:22,281
OH, JUST THAT
THERE'S FRESH CRULLERS
IN THE TEACHER'S LOUNGE.
166
00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:25,017
I THOUGHT YOU'D WANNA KNOW
BEFORE THE PIGGIES
GET TO 'EM.
167
00:06:25,118 --> 00:06:26,185
YEAH, OK.
168
00:06:26,285 --> 00:06:27,220
NO--NO, THANK YOU.
169
00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:29,522
OH, OK.
170
00:06:29,622 --> 00:06:31,991
WHAT'S WRONG?
YOU SEEM A LITTLE DOWN.
171
00:06:32,091 --> 00:06:34,026
WHY DO YOU HAVE TO USE
THE WORD "LITTLE"?
172
00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:36,529
WHAT IS IT WITH
EVERYBODY AND THEIR
OBSESSION WITH SIZE?
173
00:06:36,629 --> 00:06:38,865
WHAT, DO YOU THINK,
JUST BECAUSE SOMETHING
IS BIGGER,
174
00:06:38,965 --> 00:06:40,366
IT'S NECESSARILY BETTER?
175
00:06:40,466 --> 00:06:42,435
WOULDN'T YOU
BE HAPPIER WITH A--
176
00:06:42,535 --> 00:06:45,338
WITH A FUEL EFFICIENT
COMPACT CAR, HUH?
177
00:06:45,438 --> 00:06:46,439
NO, ACTUALLY.
178
00:06:46,539 --> 00:06:48,908
I'D RATHER HAVE
A BIG, POWERFUL CAR.
179
00:06:49,008 --> 00:06:50,543
SOMETHING WITH
A LOT OF HORSES
180
00:06:50,643 --> 00:06:52,011
THAT CAN DOMINATE
THE ROAD
181
00:06:52,111 --> 00:06:55,314
AND TEAR THROUGH TRAFFIC
LIKE A MISSILE.
182
00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:57,617
OK. I DON'T WANT TO TALK
ABOUT THIS ANYMORE.
183
00:06:57,717 --> 00:06:59,852
BUT I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT.
184
00:06:59,952 --> 00:07:02,321
ALL RIGHT.
WHY DO YOU--LET ME
ASK YOU SOMETHING.
185
00:07:03,656 --> 00:07:05,591
DO YOU THINK WOMEN
REALLY MEAN IT
186
00:07:05,691 --> 00:07:08,127
WHEN THEY SAY THAT
SIZE DOESN'T MATTER?
187
00:07:08,227 --> 00:07:10,229
NO.
188
00:07:10,329 --> 00:07:11,397
WOULD YOU LIKE TO MAYBE
189
00:07:11,497 --> 00:07:12,965
THINK ABOUT THE QUESTION
FOR A SECOND?
190
00:07:13,065 --> 00:07:15,301
NO. NO,
THAT'S JUST A LIE
191
00:07:15,401 --> 00:07:18,571
THAT WOMEN TELL TO GUYS
WHO HAVEN'T BEEN BLESSED
BY THE LOVE GOD.
192
00:07:18,671 --> 00:07:21,340
NO, SIZE REALLY MATTERS.
193
00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:22,408
IT'S LIKE IN "JAWS."
194
00:07:22,508 --> 00:07:23,643
REMEMBER WHEN
ROY SCHEIDER SAID,
195
00:07:23,743 --> 00:07:24,644
"WE NEED A BIGGER BOAT"?
196
00:07:24,744 --> 00:07:25,912
WELL, HE WAS TELLING
THE TRUTH.
197
00:07:26,012 --> 00:07:28,915
THEY NEEDED
A BIGGER BOAT.
198
00:07:29,015 --> 00:07:30,616
OK.
199
00:07:30,716 --> 00:07:31,617
HOW ABOUT YOU,
WHITEY, HUH?
200
00:07:31,717 --> 00:07:32,718
DO YOU NEED
A BIGGER BOAT?
201
00:07:32,819 --> 00:07:35,488
HA! NO, I NEED
PEARL HARBOR.
202
00:07:35,588 --> 00:07:36,622
[CHUCKLING]
203
00:07:36,722 --> 00:07:38,724
I HAVE GOT
AN AIRCRAFT CARRIER, EDDIE.
204
00:07:38,825 --> 00:07:40,726
I TELL YOU, OTHER PEOPLE
WORRY ABOUT CRABS.
205
00:07:40,827 --> 00:07:41,961
I WORRY ABOUT BARNACLES.
206
00:07:42,061 --> 00:07:43,663
I DON'T GET INTO BED,
I DROP ANCHOR.
207
00:07:43,763 --> 00:07:44,997
OK.
WHEN I SAY--
208
00:07:45,097 --> 00:07:46,199
OK, ALL RIGHT.
209
00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:48,901
I, UH--BUT YOU'RE
PULLING MY LEG,
RIGHT?
210
00:07:49,001 --> 00:07:52,438
WELL, IT'S SIMILAR,
BUT MINE DOESN'T
WEAR A SHOE.
211
00:07:53,439 --> 00:07:54,407
IT'S FUNNY,
YOU KNOW,
212
00:07:54,507 --> 00:07:56,676
I NEVER THOUGHT THAT
ABOUT YOU.
213
00:07:56,776 --> 00:07:58,711
I KNOW. NO ONE DOES.
214
00:07:58,811 --> 00:08:02,181
BUT SOMETIMES, BIG SURPRISES
COME IN SMALL PACKAGES.
215
00:08:02,281 --> 00:08:06,052
SOMETIMES, SMALL
SURPRISES RATTLE AROUND
IN BIG, GIANT BOXES.
216
00:08:07,086 --> 00:08:08,454
OH, EDDIE.
217
00:08:08,554 --> 00:08:09,989
ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT--
218
00:08:10,089 --> 00:08:12,925
UH, I'M AFRAID SO.
219
00:08:13,025 --> 00:08:13,893
OH, HUG.
220
00:08:13,993 --> 00:08:15,862
ALL RIGHT.
221
00:08:15,962 --> 00:08:17,096
OH, THAT REMINDS ME.
222
00:08:17,196 --> 00:08:19,732
I NEED TO PICK UP
SOME TRIPLE "A" BATTERIES.
223
00:08:21,033 --> 00:08:21,934
ALL RIGHT.
224
00:08:22,034 --> 00:08:23,870
VERY FUNNY.
ALL RIGHT.
225
00:08:23,970 --> 00:08:25,104
JUST KIDDING YOU, OK.
226
00:08:25,204 --> 00:08:27,440
LOOK, WHAT DOES IT
REALLY MATTER ANYWAY, HUH?
227
00:08:27,540 --> 00:08:28,674
I'M SURE YOU DO JUST FINE.
228
00:08:28,774 --> 00:08:31,143
HEY, YOU CAUGHT A FISH
WITH THE BAIT YOU HAD.
229
00:08:31,244 --> 00:08:32,512
WELL, THAT'S TRUE.
230
00:08:32,612 --> 00:08:35,615
AND JOY DOES SAY
THAT SHE'S PRETTY
DARN SATISFIED.
231
00:08:35,715 --> 00:08:37,416
WELL, YEAH.
THERE YOU GO.
232
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:39,418
YOU KNOW, AND THERE'S
A VERY REAL CHANCE
233
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:42,021
THAT SHE'S
TELLING THE TRUTH.
234
00:08:42,121 --> 00:08:43,823
PLUS, YOU KNOW,
PEOPLE LOOK AT YOU
235
00:08:43,923 --> 00:08:47,326
AND THEY ASSUME
THAT YOU'RE BLESSED
LIKE A STALLION.
236
00:08:47,426 --> 00:08:49,228
YEAH. MORE LIKE
A SCALLION.
237
00:08:49,328 --> 00:08:50,663
[LAUGHING]
238
00:08:50,763 --> 00:08:52,164
WELL, EDDIE, I THINK
ALL YOU REALLY NEED
239
00:08:52,265 --> 00:08:54,700
IS JUST A CHANGE
OF ATTITUDE.
240
00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:56,002
THINK BIG.
241
00:08:56,102 --> 00:08:58,104
STAND TALL. WALK PROUD.
242
00:08:58,204 --> 00:08:59,939
YOU KNOW, BLUFF.
243
00:09:00,039 --> 00:09:01,307
LIMP A LITTLE
IF YOU HAVE TO.
244
00:09:01,407 --> 00:09:02,575
HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.
245
00:09:02,675 --> 00:09:04,310
WHAT PEOPLE DON'T
KNOW WON'T HURT ME.
246
00:09:04,410 --> 00:09:07,246
THAT'S EXACTLY IT.
OK.
247
00:09:07,346 --> 00:09:08,848
HEY, WHITEY,
ONE OTHER THING.
248
00:09:08,948 --> 00:09:09,949
THIS IS, UH,
249
00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:12,184
THIS IS JUST
BETWEEN US, RIGHT?
250
00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:15,988
ABSOLUTELY. THIS IS
OUR "LITTLE" SECRET.
251
00:09:16,088 --> 00:09:18,024
OH, RIGHT.
"LITTLE," YEAH. OK.
252
00:09:18,124 --> 00:09:19,725
I GET IT. OK.
253
00:09:23,029 --> 00:09:24,330
[KNOCKING]
254
00:09:24,430 --> 00:09:26,299
COME IN.
255
00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:28,568
WELL.
256
00:09:28,668 --> 00:09:31,871
HELLO, NEIGHBORS.
257
00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:34,407
HI, TOMMY.
258
00:09:34,507 --> 00:09:36,742
I'M UP HERE.
259
00:09:36,842 --> 00:09:37,977
I REALIZE THAT.
260
00:09:38,077 --> 00:09:39,845
EH, ONE MORE SECOND.
261
00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:42,281
OK, DONE.
262
00:09:42,381 --> 00:09:43,849
SO, WHERE'S EDDIE?
263
00:09:43,950 --> 00:09:45,284
UH, EDDIE'S NOT HERE.
264
00:09:45,384 --> 00:09:48,421
WELL, THAT'S GOOD.
I WANTED TO TALK
TO YOU, ANYWAY.
265
00:09:48,521 --> 00:09:49,855
REALLY?
YEAH.
266
00:09:49,956 --> 00:09:51,557
SO...
267
00:09:51,657 --> 00:09:52,925
WHAT YOU MAKING?
268
00:09:54,894 --> 00:09:58,364
UH, OH, I'M JUST, UH,
EGG SALAD.
269
00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:02,368
I'M UP HERE.
MM-HMM.
270
00:10:03,336 --> 00:10:04,804
OH.
271
00:10:04,904 --> 00:10:09,508
I SEE EDDIE'S TOLD YOU
ABOUT MY TROUSER CANNON.
272
00:10:12,078 --> 00:10:14,146
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
273
00:10:14,246 --> 00:10:18,117
I CAN SEE IT IN YOUR
WIDE, FRIGHTENED EYES.
274
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:23,789
HOW CAN I HELP YOU, TOMMY?
275
00:10:23,889 --> 00:10:25,958
WELL, MY WIFE'S
BEEN TALKING
276
00:10:26,058 --> 00:10:27,460
AND I JUST
WANT HER TO STOP.
277
00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:28,794
I WANT HER TO GO
BACK TO BEING
278
00:10:28,894 --> 00:10:31,497
THE QUIET PLAYTHING
THAT I MARRIED.
279
00:10:31,597 --> 00:10:35,301
SO, UH, HOW MUCH DO
YOU THINK THIS IS
GOING TO COST ME?
280
00:10:35,401 --> 00:10:39,271
HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED
THAT IT'S NOT
ABOUT THE MONEY?
281
00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:42,074
OH. THAT'S
AN INTERESTING CONCEPT.
282
00:10:42,174 --> 00:10:46,679
LET ME CONSIDER IT. NOPE.
IT'S ALL ABOUT THE MONEY.
283
00:10:46,779 --> 00:10:49,315
YOU KNOW,
I DON'T KNOW HOW THIS
COULD POSSIBLY BE TRUE,
284
00:10:49,415 --> 00:10:53,285
BUT PERHAPS
SHE WANTS
TO CONNECT WITH YOU
285
00:10:53,386 --> 00:10:55,221
ON A DEEPER LEVEL.
286
00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:59,258
WELL, WE CONNECT
EVERY EVENING AT 7:30 P.M.
287
00:10:59,358 --> 00:11:02,595
WE PLAY
RAISE THE TITANIC.
288
00:11:02,695 --> 00:11:05,064
THEN WE SINK IT.
289
00:11:09,035 --> 00:11:10,269
EWW.
290
00:11:11,303 --> 00:11:13,773
I FIGURE
WHAT DOESN'T KILL HER
291
00:11:13,873 --> 00:11:15,741
JUST MAKES HER STRONGER.
292
00:11:15,841 --> 00:11:19,645
SHE'S GOT THE PAIN
THRESHOLD OF A MULE.
293
00:11:19,745 --> 00:11:21,514
SOMETIMES
I TELL HER,
294
00:11:21,614 --> 00:11:25,418
"TAP OUT, BABY.
TAP OUT."
295
00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:28,487
GOD, I WISH I COULD
TAP OUT RIGHT NOW.
296
00:11:28,587 --> 00:11:32,091
LISTEN, I AM DESPERATE
TO END THIS CONVERSATION.
297
00:11:32,191 --> 00:11:34,126
I--I'M STARTING
TO HYPERVENTILATE
298
00:11:34,226 --> 00:11:35,995
AND THE WORLD'S
A LITTLE HAZY.
299
00:11:36,095 --> 00:11:38,864
I'M SURE APRIL
KNOWS THE FEELING.
300
00:11:38,964 --> 00:11:41,033
LISTEN, LET ME JUST CUT
TO THE CHASE ON THIS,
TOMMY, OK?
301
00:11:41,133 --> 00:11:42,468
SHE DOESN'T WANT
YOUR MONEY.
302
00:11:42,568 --> 00:11:44,470
SHE WANTS YOUR ATTENTION.
303
00:11:44,570 --> 00:11:48,174
SHE WANTS A GROWN-UP,
LOVING RELATIONSHIP.
304
00:11:48,274 --> 00:11:50,276
ONE THAT DOESN'T INVOLVE
A SAFE WORD.
305
00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:52,812
YOU MEAN LIKE "GERBIL"?
306
00:11:52,912 --> 00:11:54,380
OK, LET'S GO. COME ON.
307
00:11:55,281 --> 00:11:56,382
GO HOME, TOMMY.
308
00:11:56,482 --> 00:11:57,983
TELL APRIL
THAT YOU LOVE HER.
309
00:11:58,084 --> 00:12:00,286
JUST BEFORE
YOU PUT HER DOWN
FOR HER NAP.
310
00:12:00,386 --> 00:12:03,055
OK, BUT I STILL THINK
IT'S ABOUT THE MONEY.
311
00:12:03,155 --> 00:12:04,323
SPEAKING OF WHICH--
312
00:12:04,423 --> 00:12:06,492
NO, NO, NO. I DON'T WANT
YOUR MONEY, TOMMY.
313
00:12:06,592 --> 00:12:08,094
AND APRIL DOESN'T, EITHER.
314
00:12:08,194 --> 00:12:12,164
SHE JUST--SHE WANTS
THE SAME THINGS
THAT EVERY WOMAN WANTS.
315
00:12:12,264 --> 00:12:15,434
GOT IT. A BLIND FOLD
AND DRAMAMINE.
316
00:12:15,534 --> 00:12:17,002
OUT.
317
00:12:23,909 --> 00:12:25,344
HEY, HEY.
318
00:12:27,213 --> 00:12:28,914
HEY, HEY.
319
00:12:33,919 --> 00:12:37,189
LOOK. I'VE TOLD YOU
EVERYTHING I KNOW.
320
00:12:37,289 --> 00:12:39,525
WELL, WE'RE GOING
TO KEEP PLAYING GITMO
321
00:12:39,625 --> 00:12:42,394
UNTIL I GET
THE ANSWERS I WANT.
322
00:12:42,495 --> 00:12:45,131
NOW.
323
00:12:45,231 --> 00:12:48,200
WHAT IS
EDDIE STARK'S SECRET?
324
00:12:48,300 --> 00:12:51,937
EDDIE'S MY FRIEND.
I CAN'T BETRAY
HIS TRUST.
325
00:12:52,037 --> 00:12:53,472
I PROMISED HIM
I WOULDN'T.
326
00:12:53,572 --> 00:12:54,974
[CHUCKLING]
327
00:12:55,074 --> 00:12:56,308
YOU'LL TALK.
328
00:12:56,408 --> 00:12:57,443
WHEN I'M DONE WITH YOU,
329
00:12:57,543 --> 00:12:59,278
YOU'LL BE CHATTERING
LIKE A SCHOOL GIRL
330
00:12:59,378 --> 00:13:02,615
IN THE THEATER LOBBY
AFTER WATCHING
"TWILIGHT."
331
00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:06,952
NOW, WHAT IS EDDIE
STARK'S SECRET?
332
00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:09,655
NO. NEVER, MISTRESS.
333
00:13:09,755 --> 00:13:11,190
IF YOU DON'T
TELL ME,
334
00:13:11,290 --> 00:13:13,025
I'LL DROP YOU
IN A TUB OF MILK
335
00:13:13,125 --> 00:13:16,929
AND TEACH YOU WHAT
"LACTOSE INTOLERANT"
REALLY MEANS.
336
00:13:17,029 --> 00:13:18,564
OHH!
337
00:13:18,664 --> 00:13:19,832
SHE'S BLUFFING.
338
00:13:19,932 --> 00:13:22,034
SHE'S BLUFFING, WHITEY.
339
00:13:22,134 --> 00:13:23,836
DON'T TELL.
340
00:13:23,936 --> 00:13:25,638
DON'T TELL HER.
341
00:13:27,173 --> 00:13:28,841
STAY STRONG.
342
00:13:28,941 --> 00:13:31,744
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
IT'S TINY.
343
00:13:31,844 --> 00:13:33,979
HE'S GOT AN INNIE.
344
00:13:34,079 --> 00:13:37,316
IT'S A COCKTAIL FRANK.
IT'S A TOE WITH NO NAIL.
345
00:13:37,416 --> 00:13:39,718
IT'S A UVULA.
346
00:13:41,954 --> 00:13:42,955
I KNEW IT!
347
00:13:43,055 --> 00:13:44,924
NOW I'M GOING
TO TELL EVERYONE.
348
00:13:45,024 --> 00:13:47,626
YOU HEAR ME?
EVERYONE!
349
00:13:47,726 --> 00:13:49,962
[LAUGHING EVILLY]
350
00:13:51,130 --> 00:13:53,098
[SCREAMING]
351
00:13:54,366 --> 00:13:55,234
OHH!
352
00:13:55,334 --> 00:13:57,369
[PANTING]
353
00:13:57,469 --> 00:13:59,538
JOY! JOY.
354
00:13:59,638 --> 00:14:02,174
I HAD SUCH A TERRIBLE
DREAM, HONEY.
355
00:14:03,008 --> 00:14:04,109
EVERYONE.
356
00:14:04,210 --> 00:14:06,145
AAH!
357
00:14:08,747 --> 00:14:10,983
[SCREAMING]
358
00:14:11,750 --> 00:14:14,019
WHAT? WHAT'S THE MATTER?
359
00:14:14,119 --> 00:14:15,654
[GASPING]
360
00:14:15,754 --> 00:14:16,922
I HAD A DREAM.
361
00:14:17,022 --> 00:14:18,757
OH, JOY, I HAD
A TERRIBLE DREAM.
362
00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:20,626
TERRIBLE DREAM!
363
00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:22,862
COME ON. RELAX, EDDIE.
364
00:14:22,962 --> 00:14:24,063
YOU HAD A NIGHTMARE.
365
00:14:24,163 --> 00:14:26,232
IT HAPPENS TO EVERYONE.
366
00:14:26,332 --> 00:14:27,399
EVERYONE.
367
00:14:27,499 --> 00:14:29,602
[GASPS]
368
00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:31,437
[WHIMPERING]
369
00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:36,775
HEY, HOW YOU DOING,
WHITEY?
370
00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:37,877
HEY, "MI COMPADRE."
371
00:14:37,977 --> 00:14:39,545
HOW'S IT HANGING?
372
00:14:39,645 --> 00:14:40,880
FINE.
373
00:14:40,980 --> 00:14:42,548
AND SO, UH,
HOW WAS YOUR EVENING?
374
00:14:42,648 --> 00:14:43,616
HOPEFULLY, UNEVENTFUL?
375
00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:46,085
ACTUALLY,
JUST THE OPPOSITE.
376
00:14:46,185 --> 00:14:47,853
I GOT THE ROPE BURNS
TO PROVE IT.
377
00:14:47,953 --> 00:14:50,789
OH? YOU WERE WITH DUFFY
LAST NIGHT?
378
00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:53,425
OH, "WITH" IS A LITTLE
TOO GENTLE A WORD.
379
00:14:53,525 --> 00:14:55,361
MORE LIKE "RUINED BY,"
380
00:14:55,461 --> 00:14:56,929
"CATASTROPHIZED,"
381
00:14:57,029 --> 00:14:58,130
"REAMATATED."
382
00:14:58,230 --> 00:15:00,065
[LAUGHING]
383
00:15:01,767 --> 00:15:05,604
I SEE. WELL,
I'M ASSUMING THAT MY NAME
DIDN'T COME UP, RIGHT?
384
00:15:05,704 --> 00:15:06,805
WELL, NOT THAT I RECALL,
385
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:07,973
BUT SINCE I HAVE
A CONCUSSION,
386
00:15:08,073 --> 00:15:10,843
I'M NOT REALLY
A VERY RELIABLE SOURCE.
387
00:15:10,943 --> 00:15:13,145
OK.
388
00:15:15,114 --> 00:15:17,316
WHAT IS MRS. ROONEY
YAKKING ABOUT OVER THERE?
389
00:15:17,416 --> 00:15:19,184
I HAVE NO IDEA.
390
00:15:19,285 --> 00:15:21,086
I WAS THIS CLOSE
TO PEEING MY PANTS.
391
00:15:21,186 --> 00:15:22,821
OH, GOD!
IT'S HILARIOUS.
392
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:23,789
YEAH.
393
00:15:23,889 --> 00:15:25,658
I REALLY MISS DOM DELUISE.
394
00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:26,759
YEAH.
395
00:15:26,859 --> 00:15:29,295
WELL, THEY SURE DO
FIND SOMETHING FUNNY.
396
00:15:29,395 --> 00:15:30,362
BABY GHERKIN?
397
00:15:30,462 --> 00:15:31,764
WHAT?
398
00:15:31,864 --> 00:15:33,899
YOU LOOK LIKE A MAN
WHO WOULD ENJOY
A LITTLE PICKLE
399
00:15:33,999 --> 00:15:36,101
UNLESS YOU'VE ALREADY GOT
A LITTLE PICKLE.
400
00:15:36,201 --> 00:15:37,503
HAVE YOU GOT
A LITTLE PICKLE, EDDIE?
401
00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:39,538
GET AWAY FROM ME,
RAJ, WILL YOU?
402
00:15:39,638 --> 00:15:40,873
OHH.
WHAT'S THE
MATTER, EDDIE?
403
00:15:40,973 --> 00:15:42,241
YOU SEEM
A LITTLE JUMPY.
404
00:15:42,341 --> 00:15:44,510
NAH, IT'S JUST I DIDN'T GET
ENOUGH SLEEP LAST NIGHT.
405
00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:45,544
THAT'S ALL.
406
00:15:45,644 --> 00:15:46,645
LISTEN UP, EVERYBODY.
407
00:15:46,745 --> 00:15:48,781
I HAVE A TEENY,
WEENIE ANNOUNCEMENT.
408
00:15:48,881 --> 00:15:52,551
THE RESULTS ARE IN
FROM OUR ACADEMIC
DECATHLON,
409
00:15:52,651 --> 00:15:53,852
AND I AM PROUD
TO ANNOUNCE
410
00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:56,522
THAT DICK LITTLE
CAME IN SECOND PLACE
411
00:15:56,622 --> 00:15:58,724
RIGHT BEHIND
PETER SHORT.
412
00:15:58,824 --> 00:15:59,725
[APPLAUSE]
413
00:15:59,825 --> 00:16:01,060
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
414
00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:02,561
STOP MOCKING ME.
415
00:16:02,661 --> 00:16:03,963
WHAT'S THAT,
MR. STARK?
416
00:16:04,063 --> 00:16:06,632
PEOPLE CANNOT CONTROL
WHAT THEY'RE BORN WITH.
417
00:16:06,732 --> 00:16:08,434
WE DON'T LAUGH
AT LITTLE PEOPLE
418
00:16:08,534 --> 00:16:10,536
OR FRECKLE-FACED REDHEADS.
419
00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:12,805
OR FOREIGNERS
WITH FUNNY NAMES.
420
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:17,309
WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT
TO POKE FUN AT ME?
421
00:16:17,409 --> 00:16:19,078
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING,
MR. STARK?
422
00:16:19,178 --> 00:16:20,713
YOU KNOW EXACTLY
WHAT I'M SAYING.
423
00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:21,680
OK, SO WHAT?
424
00:16:21,780 --> 00:16:23,248
SO, I'M NOT VERY
WELL-ENDOWED?
425
00:16:23,349 --> 00:16:24,950
SO, I'M PACKED
FOR CARRY ON?
426
00:16:25,050 --> 00:16:26,919
WHO CARES?
I'M STILL A PERSON,
427
00:16:27,019 --> 00:16:28,320
AND I STILL
HAVE FEELINGS.
428
00:16:28,420 --> 00:16:30,656
EDDIE, WHAT THE HELL
ARE YOU DOING?
429
00:16:30,756 --> 00:16:33,559
OH, DON'T ACT
SO INNOCENT,
MR. AIRCRAFT CARRIER.
430
00:16:33,659 --> 00:16:36,395
IT'S OBVIOUS THAT YOU
TOLD DUFFY EVERYTHING
431
00:16:36,495 --> 00:16:40,032
AND IT IS CLEAR THAT
SHE HAS TOLD EVERYONE.
432
00:16:40,132 --> 00:16:41,967
EVERYONE!
433
00:16:43,936 --> 00:16:46,905
WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?
I AM PROUD OF WHO I AM.
434
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:48,207
THAT'S RIGHT.
435
00:16:48,307 --> 00:16:50,743
[MEXICAN ACCENT]
SAY HELLO TO MY
LITTLE FRIEND!
436
00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:52,811
SAY HELLO!
437
00:16:52,911 --> 00:16:54,279
LITTLE FRIEND.
438
00:16:56,148 --> 00:16:57,449
EDDIE, I DID NOT
SAY A WORD.
439
00:16:57,549 --> 00:16:58,784
I COULDN'T.
440
00:16:58,884 --> 00:17:01,086
I HAD A BIG RUBBER BALL
IN MY MOUTH ALL NIGHT LONG.
441
00:17:01,186 --> 00:17:04,490
YEAH, REMARKABLE
AS IT MAY SEEM,
MR. STARK,
442
00:17:04,590 --> 00:17:07,593
WE HARDLY SPEND
ANY TIME TALKING
ABOUT YOUR THINGY.
443
00:17:07,693 --> 00:17:08,827
OR LACK THEREOF.
444
00:17:08,927 --> 00:17:10,863
[ALL LAUGHING]
445
00:17:14,967 --> 00:17:15,934
YOU DIDN'T TELL HER?
446
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:18,103
NO, I DIDN'T.
447
00:17:18,203 --> 00:17:19,638
IT WAS OUR LITTLE SECRET,
448
00:17:19,738 --> 00:17:21,407
AND I WOULD HAVE
CARRIED IT TO THE GRAVE.
449
00:17:21,507 --> 00:17:22,674
BUT NOW HE
DOESN'T HAVE TO
450
00:17:22,775 --> 00:17:25,010
BECAUSE YOUR LITTLE
SECRET'S OUT.
451
00:17:25,110 --> 00:17:27,079
NOT VERY FAR OUT,
BUT OUT.
452
00:17:27,179 --> 00:17:29,148
[ALL LAUGHING]
453
00:17:32,584 --> 00:17:34,486
HEY.
HEY, BABE.
HOW WAS WORK?
454
00:17:34,586 --> 00:17:35,821
WELL,
455
00:17:35,921 --> 00:17:38,590
IT'S A LONG STORY,
BUT JUST CONSIDER
YOURSELF LUCKY
456
00:17:38,690 --> 00:17:40,592
THAT YOU WEREN'T
IN THE TEACHERS
LOUNGE TODAY
457
00:17:40,692 --> 00:17:41,927
WHEN I REVEALED
TO THE WORLD
458
00:17:42,027 --> 00:17:45,664
THAT MY YANKEE DOODLE
WASN'T DANDY.
459
00:17:45,764 --> 00:17:46,832
WHAT?
460
00:17:46,932 --> 00:17:50,235
BABE, NO. WHY ARE YOU
SO OBSESSED WITH THIS?
461
00:17:50,335 --> 00:17:52,471
YOU'RE FINE.
462
00:17:52,571 --> 00:17:54,406
AND DANDY.
463
00:17:54,506 --> 00:17:55,374
YOU'RE PERFECT.
464
00:17:55,474 --> 00:17:56,642
YOU'RE THE LOVE
OF MY LIFE.
465
00:17:56,742 --> 00:18:00,379
I CAN'T IMAGINE MYSELF
WITH ANYONE ELSE.
466
00:18:00,479 --> 00:18:02,381
EVEN WITH MY
SHORTCOMINGS?
467
00:18:02,481 --> 00:18:04,650
YOU DON'T HAVE
ANY SHORTCOMINGS.
468
00:18:06,952 --> 00:18:09,922
YOUR HAND IS MADE
FOR MY GLOVE.
469
00:18:10,989 --> 00:18:13,525
YOUR SMART CAR WAS BUILT
FOR MY GARAGE.
470
00:18:13,625 --> 00:18:16,495
HEY! I HAVE SOMETHING
THAT IS GOING TO MAKE YOU
FEEL BETTER.
471
00:18:16,595 --> 00:18:17,563
YEAH?
472
00:18:17,663 --> 00:18:19,865
I HOPE YOU'RE READY.
WHAT'S THAT?
473
00:18:22,201 --> 00:18:24,970
IT'S YOUR GRANDSON.
474
00:18:25,070 --> 00:18:26,338
REALLY?
475
00:18:29,775 --> 00:18:31,510
WOW.
476
00:18:31,610 --> 00:18:33,178
WHY DOES
HE HAVE A TAIL?
477
00:18:36,515 --> 00:18:39,451
THAT IS NO TAIL,
MY FRIEND.
478
00:18:39,551 --> 00:18:42,788
HOMINAH, HOMINAH.
JOY, THIS IS
GREAT NEWS.
479
00:18:42,888 --> 00:18:45,791
THE STARK CURSE
HAS BEEN BROKEN.
480
00:18:45,891 --> 00:18:48,093
YOU ARE REDEEMED
BY YOUR GRANDSON.
481
00:18:48,193 --> 00:18:49,294
WHAT?
482
00:18:49,394 --> 00:18:51,096
WHAT? WHAT DID
YOU JUST SAY?
483
00:18:51,196 --> 00:18:52,998
AHEM. NOTHING.
484
00:18:53,098 --> 00:18:54,733
DID YOU JUST SAY
"GRANDSON"?
485
00:18:54,833 --> 00:18:56,101
NO, I DIDN'T.
486
00:18:56,201 --> 00:18:57,736
UH, NO, SHE SAID
"GRAND FUN,"
487
00:18:57,836 --> 00:19:02,441
AS IN, "WON'T IT
BE FUN TO HAVE
A GRANDSON."
488
00:19:02,541 --> 00:19:03,976
ARE WE HAVING
A BABY BOY?
489
00:19:04,076 --> 00:19:05,978
YEAH, HONEY.
A BEAUTIFUL
BABY BOY.
490
00:19:06,078 --> 00:19:07,579
THAT'S FANTASTIC.
491
00:19:07,679 --> 00:19:08,780
AW, YOU'RE NOT MAD
THAT YOU KNOW?
492
00:19:08,881 --> 00:19:10,782
NO! WHY WOULD I BE MAD?
493
00:19:10,883 --> 00:19:11,817
THIS IS--THIS IS
GREAT NEWS.
494
00:19:11,917 --> 00:19:12,918
HEY, YOU WANNA
SEE THE PICTURE?
495
00:19:13,018 --> 00:19:14,286
YEAH.
496
00:19:14,386 --> 00:19:15,387
GOES THAT WAY.
497
00:19:15,487 --> 00:19:16,722
THANK YOU.
498
00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:18,323
OH!
499
00:19:18,423 --> 00:19:20,459
WELL, I SEE HE
TAKES AFTER HIS FATHER
500
00:19:20,559 --> 00:19:23,295
IN THE LADY-PLEASING
DEPARTMENT.
501
00:19:24,530 --> 00:19:27,099
AND THE HITS JUST
KEEP ON COMING.
502
00:19:28,967 --> 00:19:30,269
YOU DON'T FOLLOW
A GUY TO ECUADOR
503
00:19:30,369 --> 00:19:32,905
JUST BECAUSE
HE'S FUNNY.
NOPE.
504
00:19:34,206 --> 00:19:36,441
COME ON. LET'S GO
PUT HIS PICTURE
ON OUR WEBSITE.
505
00:19:36,542 --> 00:19:37,376
OH, OK.
506
00:19:37,476 --> 00:19:38,410
SEE YOU GUYS LATER.
507
00:19:38,510 --> 00:19:39,578
ALL RIGHT.
508
00:19:39,678 --> 00:19:40,913
YEAH, THEY DON'T
HAVE A HOUSE
509
00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:42,281
BUT THEY HAVE
A WEBSITE.
510
00:19:42,381 --> 00:19:43,448
[DOORBELL RINGS]
511
00:19:43,549 --> 00:19:44,783
COME IN.
512
00:19:45,584 --> 00:19:46,785
HI, NEIGHBORS.
513
00:19:46,885 --> 00:19:47,886
HEY.
HEY, HOW YOU DOING?
514
00:19:47,986 --> 00:19:49,054
WHAT'S NEW, TOMMY?
515
00:19:49,154 --> 00:19:52,024
AW, JUST
APRIL'S RING.
516
00:19:52,124 --> 00:19:53,625
SHOW 'EM, HONEY.
517
00:19:53,725 --> 00:19:54,960
BLING BLING.
518
00:19:55,060 --> 00:19:56,295
WOW!
519
00:19:56,395 --> 00:20:00,232
HEY, IT TURNS OUT
IT WAS ALL ABOUT
THE MONEY.
520
00:20:00,332 --> 00:20:01,667
THAT'S RIGHT.
521
00:20:01,767 --> 00:20:03,669
I DIDN'T WANT
AN EMOTIONAL CONNECTION.
522
00:20:03,769 --> 00:20:06,405
I JUST WANTED
A REALLY HUGE DIAMOND.
523
00:20:06,505 --> 00:20:08,907
AWW. AIN'T
LOVE GRAND?
524
00:20:09,007 --> 00:20:12,044
MORE LIKE 50 GRAND.
525
00:20:12,144 --> 00:20:13,378
[LAUGHING]
526
00:20:15,147 --> 00:20:16,748
WELL, IF YOU'LL
EXCUSE US,
527
00:20:16,848 --> 00:20:18,684
WE'RE GONNA TAKE
THE TOP DOWN
528
00:20:18,784 --> 00:20:19,985
AND GO FOR A RIDE.
529
00:20:20,085 --> 00:20:22,054
OH. DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD
A CONVERTIBLE.
530
00:20:22,154 --> 00:20:25,123
WE DON'T. HA HA!
531
00:20:27,292 --> 00:20:28,860
[LAUGHING]
532
00:20:28,961 --> 00:20:30,796
OH, WOW.
533
00:20:30,896 --> 00:20:32,164
HE'S GOT EVERYTHING.
534
00:20:32,264 --> 00:20:34,066
HE'S GOT HER,
535
00:20:34,166 --> 00:20:36,134
THE MONEY.
536
00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:38,537
IF THAT THING OF HIS
DIDN'T WEIGH HIM DOWN
SO MUCH,
537
00:20:38,637 --> 00:20:40,005
HE'D BE MY HEIGHT.
538
00:20:42,808 --> 00:20:45,844
I WANNA BE SHORTER.
539
00:20:45,944 --> 00:20:47,079
HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
HMM?
540
00:20:47,179 --> 00:20:48,280
I'D FOLLOW YOU
TO ECUADOR
541
00:20:48,380 --> 00:20:50,048
JUST 'CAUSE
YOU'RE FUNNY.
542
00:20:50,148 --> 00:20:51,550
YOU WOULD?
YES, I WOULD.
543
00:20:51,650 --> 00:20:52,951
WELL, LET'S GO
TO ECUADOR.
544
00:20:53,051 --> 00:20:54,886
[LAUGHING]
545
00:20:58,156 --> 00:21:00,692
{\an8}I--I JUST--I--I--
546
00:21:00,792 --> 00:21:02,995
{\an8}IS THAT A QUARTER
ON THE FLOOR?
547
00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:04,229
{\an8}I DON'T KNOW.
548
00:21:04,329 --> 00:21:07,532
{\an8}LET ME MOVE
VLAD THE IMPALER
OUT OF THE WAY
549
00:21:07,633 --> 00:21:09,568
{\an8}SO I CAN SEE.
550
00:21:09,668 --> 00:21:10,602
{\an8}NOPE.
551
00:21:10,702 --> 00:21:11,737
{\an8}WELL, I'LL--
552
00:21:11,837 --> 00:21:14,072
{\an8}[BOTH LAUGHING]
553
00:21:17,476 --> 00:21:19,411
{\an8}I WOULD LIKE TO COME
AND WALK DOWN.
554
00:21:19,511 --> 00:21:20,946
{\an8}Man: YEAH.
YEAH.
555
00:21:21,046 --> 00:21:22,481
{\an8}YEAH, I--I COULD--
556
00:21:22,581 --> 00:21:24,750
{\an8}I THINK I COULD DO
FALSE ANGER DIFFERENTLY.
557
00:21:25,584 --> 00:21:27,786
{\an8}[ALL LAUGHING]
39794
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