All language subtitles for Til Death S04E23 Joys Mom 1080p CTV WEB-DL DD5 1 H 264-playWEB_track4_[eng]

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek Download
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:16,916 --> 00:00:19,019 {\an8}HONEY, YOU'VE GOT TO CALM DOWN. 2 00:00:19,119 --> 00:00:20,687 {\an8}YOU KNOW THIS IS HOW I GET WHEN I'M NERVOUS. 3 00:00:20,787 --> 00:00:22,155 {\an8}I PACE AND I EAT. 4 00:00:22,255 --> 00:00:24,958 {\an8}I THINK YOU JUST ATE A REFRIGERATOR MAGNET. 5 00:00:25,058 --> 00:00:26,326 {\an8}I CAN'T HELP IT, EDDIE. 6 00:00:26,426 --> 00:00:28,661 {\an8}SHE--SHE DOES THIS TO ME. SHE MAKES ME NUTS! 7 00:00:28,762 --> 00:00:31,865 {\an8}LISTEN, HONEY. YOUR MOM VISITS US THREE DAYS A YEAR. 8 00:00:31,965 --> 00:00:33,533 {\an8}WE'RE GONNA GET THROUGH THIS TOGETHER. 9 00:00:33,633 --> 00:00:35,802 {\an8}THAT'S EASY FOR YOU TO SAY. SHE DOESN'T MAKE YOU NUTS. 10 00:00:35,902 --> 00:00:37,103 {\an8}YOU WEREN'T RAISED BY HER. 11 00:00:37,203 --> 00:00:39,339 {\an8}I HAPPEN TO GET A KICK OUT OF YOUR MOM. 12 00:00:39,439 --> 00:00:41,608 {\an8}YOU KNOW, BETWEEN THE BIGOTRY AND THE RACISM-- 13 00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:44,878 {\an8}I'M A HISTORY TEACHER. IT'S LIKE MEETING SOMEBODY FROM THE OLD SOUTH. 14 00:00:44,978 --> 00:00:46,980 {\an8}OR THE NEW SOUTH, ACTUALLY. 15 00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:48,348 {\an8}[DOORBELL] 16 00:00:48,448 --> 00:00:49,883 {\an8}PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME. OK? BACK ME UP ON THIS. 17 00:00:49,983 --> 00:00:52,352 {\an8}OK. I'M WITH YA. 18 00:00:52,452 --> 00:00:53,853 {\an8}HOW DO I LOOK? 19 00:00:53,953 --> 00:00:55,121 {\an8}YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL. 20 00:00:55,221 --> 00:00:56,322 {\an8}SKINNY? 21 00:00:56,423 --> 00:00:58,625 {\an8}HOSPITAL SKINNY. 22 00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:00,126 {\an8}YOU KNOW WHAT? IT DOESN'T MATTER ANYWAY. 23 00:01:00,226 --> 00:01:02,362 {\an8}SHE WILL FIND SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME. IT'S HER JOB. 24 00:01:02,462 --> 00:01:04,364 {\an8}I WONDER WHAT COLOR HER HAIR'S GONNA BE. 25 00:01:04,464 --> 00:01:07,033 {\an8}IT DOESN'T MATTER. THE CARPET WON'T MATCH THE DRAPES. 26 00:01:07,133 --> 00:01:09,402 {\an8}OH, HONEY. SHE GOT RID OF THE CARPET YEARS AGO. 27 00:01:09,502 --> 00:01:11,638 {\an8}OH, GOD! LA, LA, LA, LA, LA! 28 00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:14,674 {\an8}STOP. OK. ALL RIGHT. 29 00:01:14,774 --> 00:01:17,577 {\an8}I'M HERE! HI, MOM! 30 00:01:17,677 --> 00:01:20,280 {\an8}HI, SWEETHEART. GIVE YOUR MAMA A BIG HUG. 31 00:01:20,380 --> 00:01:21,514 {\an8}COME HERE. 32 00:01:21,614 --> 00:01:22,749 {\an8}WATCH MY HAIR. 33 00:01:22,849 --> 00:01:24,818 {\an8}I GOT HAIR EXTENSIONS. YOU LIKE 'EM? 34 00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:26,453 {\an8}JUST LIKE PAULA ABDUL. 35 00:01:26,553 --> 00:01:29,989 {\an8}THAT IS ONE CUTE LITTLE RUG MERCHANT. 36 00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:31,858 {\an8}COME OVER HERE, EDDIE, 37 00:01:31,958 --> 00:01:34,861 {\an8}YOU GREAT BIG GIANT JEW, AND GIVE ME A HUG! 38 00:01:34,961 --> 00:01:36,763 {\an8}COMING AT YOU, YA SEXY DEGO! 39 00:01:36,863 --> 00:01:38,398 {\an8}OHH! HOW ARE YA? 40 00:01:38,498 --> 00:01:40,934 {\an8}I'M GOOD. EDDIE, COULD YOU TAKE THIS UPSTAIRS FOR ME? 41 00:01:41,034 --> 00:01:42,235 {\an8}YEAH. SURE. 42 00:01:42,335 --> 00:01:46,206 {\an8}I HAVE MY JEWELRY IN THERE, AND MY NECK MASSAGER. 43 00:01:55,014 --> 00:01:58,384 {\an8}LOOK AT YOU. ARE YOU SICK, HONEY? 44 00:01:58,485 --> 00:01:59,586 {\an8}WHAT? 45 00:01:59,686 --> 00:02:00,887 {\an8}YOU LOOK LIKE YOU JUST GET OUT OF BED, 46 00:02:00,987 --> 00:02:02,155 {\an8}AND YOU'RE ALL YELLOW. 47 00:02:02,255 --> 00:02:03,256 WHAT? 48 00:02:03,356 --> 00:02:04,791 AND YOU'RE BLOATED. 49 00:02:04,891 --> 00:02:06,926 AND WHAT ARE THESE DOING DOWN THERE? PICK 'EM UP! 50 00:02:07,026 --> 00:02:08,161 MOM! 51 00:02:08,261 --> 00:02:10,196 WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE YOUR BAGS? 52 00:02:10,296 --> 00:02:13,399 ANYWHERE BUT UNDER MY EYES. HA HA HA! 53 00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:17,237 JUST PUT 'EM OVER THERE. DROP 'EM. 54 00:02:17,337 --> 00:02:20,140 YOU DIDN'T TAKE ANYTHING OUT OF THOSE BAGS, DID YOU? 55 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:21,941 OR PUT ANYTHING IN THEM? 56 00:02:23,643 --> 00:02:24,944 RAJ, HEY! 57 00:02:25,044 --> 00:02:26,479 [ROLLING "R"] IT'S RRRAJ. 58 00:02:26,579 --> 00:02:28,715 YEAH, RIGHT. WHAT HAPPENED TO THE U.P.S. JOB? 59 00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:33,620 IT'S VERY DIFFICULT NOWADAYS FOR A BROWN MAN TO DELIVER A PACKAGE. 60 00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:35,188 NO KIDDING. 61 00:02:35,288 --> 00:02:39,626 THE QUESTION NOW IS WHAT CAN BROWN DO TO YOU? 62 00:02:39,726 --> 00:02:41,995 DON'T HAVE WORRY ABOUT RAJ. HE'S ONE OF OUR BUDDIES. 63 00:02:42,095 --> 00:02:43,763 RRRAJ. 64 00:02:45,098 --> 00:02:46,199 WHAT DID I SAY? 65 00:02:46,299 --> 00:02:48,101 YOU SAID "RAJ." 66 00:02:48,201 --> 00:02:50,336 IT'S RRRRAJ. 67 00:02:50,436 --> 00:02:53,239 YOU KNOW, I GOTTA BE HONEST. I DON'T HEAR A DIFFERENCE. 68 00:02:53,339 --> 00:02:55,642 CAN I PLEASE JUST HAVE MY MONEY? 69 00:02:55,742 --> 00:02:58,244 EDDIE, JUST PAY THE GUY. AND NO TIP. 70 00:02:58,344 --> 00:03:00,413 BECAUSE I KNOW WHAT THEY DO WITH THEIR MONEY. 71 00:03:00,513 --> 00:03:04,784 THEY BUY MONKEY BARS FOR THEIR COUSINS TO TRAIN ON. 72 00:03:04,884 --> 00:03:07,787 MAY I SAY WHAT A DELIGHT IT HAS BEEN TO SERVE YOU? 73 00:03:07,887 --> 00:03:10,723 AND IF YOU HAVE NEED TRANSPORTATION IN THE FUTURE, 74 00:03:10,823 --> 00:03:15,094 PLEASE DO NOT HESITATE TO CALL SOMEBODY ELSE. 75 00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:17,430 ALL RIGHT. HERE YOU GO. THAT SHOULD COVER IT. 76 00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:22,202 NOT EVEN CLOSE. I'M TAKING THIS BOOK. 77 00:03:27,173 --> 00:03:29,542 EDDIE, CAN YOU DO ME A FAVOR, SWEETHEART? 78 00:03:29,642 --> 00:03:32,979 JUST GO DOWN MY BLOUSE AND SEE IF THAT'S A MOSQUITO BITE 79 00:03:33,079 --> 00:03:35,281 THAT'S MAKING ME CRAZY OR A BOIL. 80 00:03:35,381 --> 00:03:37,383 GO AHEAD. YOU CAN POKE IT. GO AHEAD. 81 00:03:37,483 --> 00:03:39,252 IF THAT THINGS GETS ANY BIGGER, 82 00:03:39,352 --> 00:03:41,421 YOU'RE GONNA BE RINGING A BELL IN A TOWER. 83 00:03:41,521 --> 00:03:44,991 HA HA HA! HE IS SO FUNNY! 84 00:03:45,091 --> 00:03:47,327 YEAH, HE'S A RIOT. 85 00:03:47,427 --> 00:03:51,664 YOU KNOW, THE HUMOR COMES FROM PERSECUTION. 86 00:03:51,764 --> 00:03:53,399 THE JEWS ARE JUST LIKE THE BLACKS. 87 00:03:53,499 --> 00:03:57,837 BOTH PERSECUTED, AND BOTH HIGH-LARIOUS. 88 00:03:59,973 --> 00:04:01,407 MOM, WE LIVE IN A DIFFERENT WORLD NOW. 89 00:04:01,507 --> 00:04:03,409 THOSE RACIST VIEWS ARE OBSOLETE. 90 00:04:03,509 --> 00:04:05,612 I MEAN, REMEMBER-- WE DO HAVE A BLACK PRESIDENT. 91 00:04:05,712 --> 00:04:07,847 YEAH, WHO IS JUST LIKE HIS MOTHER. 92 00:04:07,947 --> 00:04:11,551 THERE'S A LOT OF CREAM IN THAT COFFEE. THAT'S ALL I'M SAYING. 93 00:04:17,023 --> 00:04:18,424 WHITEY, HELP ME OUT HERE. 94 00:04:18,524 --> 00:04:19,759 WHAT DO YOU GOT? 95 00:04:19,859 --> 00:04:20,927 FOURTEEN ACROSS. 96 00:04:21,027 --> 00:04:22,161 FOURTEEN ACROSS. 97 00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,163 AN ANNOYING OLDER WOMAN. 98 00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:26,032 THAT WOULD BE AN "AUNT." 99 00:04:26,132 --> 00:04:28,201 A-U-N-T. AH. 100 00:04:30,069 --> 00:04:32,772 THAT'S ONLY 'CAUSE YOU YOU DON'T KNOW HER. 101 00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:36,909 I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING HERE. 102 00:04:37,010 --> 00:04:38,778 YEAH. THAT'S NOT LIKE YOU TO MISS THAT. 103 00:04:38,878 --> 00:04:40,246 YOU'VE GOT A LOT ON YOUR MIND, HUH? 104 00:04:40,346 --> 00:04:42,448 YOU KNOW, YOU'RE VERY-- VERY INTUITIVE. 105 00:04:42,548 --> 00:04:46,586 YOU REALLY--YOU JUST KNOW MY FEELINGS. 106 00:04:46,686 --> 00:04:50,657 THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR, MY PAL FROM ANOTHER GAL. 107 00:04:50,757 --> 00:04:52,659 YOU KNOW, I JUST TURNED IN MY MANUSCRIPT, 108 00:04:52,759 --> 00:04:54,827 AND I'M SUPPOSED TO MEET WITH THE PUBLISHER LATER THIS WEEK. 109 00:04:54,927 --> 00:04:56,329 I'M JUST A NERVOUS WRECK. 110 00:04:56,429 --> 00:04:59,866 STOP WORRYING, YOU KNOW? I KNOW HE'S GOING TO LOVE IT. 111 00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:02,935 YOU'RE A BRILLIANT MAN, AND I'M SURE IT'S A BRILLIANT BOOK. 112 00:05:03,036 --> 00:05:05,238 DO YOU REALLY THINK SO? 113 00:05:05,338 --> 00:05:06,406 YEAH. 114 00:05:06,506 --> 00:05:08,374 JUST DON'T TELL DUFFY I WAS PRAISING YOU 115 00:05:08,474 --> 00:05:11,277 BECAUSE SOMETIMES SHE CAN BE A REAL AUNT. 116 00:05:12,845 --> 00:05:14,781 TOUCHE. 117 00:05:16,849 --> 00:05:17,984 HEY, DONNELLY. 118 00:05:18,084 --> 00:05:19,118 HI, FELLAS. 119 00:05:19,218 --> 00:05:21,821 TODAY WAS A GREAT DAY IN GYM. 120 00:05:21,921 --> 00:05:24,123 I HAD THIS FAT KID HALFWAY UP THE ROPE, 121 00:05:24,223 --> 00:05:25,625 AND THEN I TOOK THE MAT AWAY. 122 00:05:25,725 --> 00:05:27,393 HE'S STILL UP THERE. HA HA! 123 00:05:27,493 --> 00:05:28,961 IT WAS GREAT! 124 00:05:29,062 --> 00:05:31,497 WOW. SOUNDS A LITTLE MEAN MEAN AND SADISTIC. 125 00:05:31,597 --> 00:05:34,267 AND FUNNY. 126 00:05:34,367 --> 00:05:37,470 I GET THE FEELING YOU'RE NOT TERRIBLY FOND OF THESE KIDS. 127 00:05:37,570 --> 00:05:39,505 I'M NOT. AND YOU KNOW WHY? 128 00:05:39,605 --> 00:05:40,773 'CAUSE I USED TO BE ONE OF THEM. 129 00:05:40,873 --> 00:05:42,375 SO I KNOW HOW ROTTEN THEY ARE. 130 00:05:42,475 --> 00:05:44,077 I GOT TEASED IN GYM CLASS, TOO. 131 00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:46,979 BECAUSE I WAS FAT, AND I WAS PRETTY. 132 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:48,481 LIKE ALL THE DONNELLY MEN. 133 00:05:48,581 --> 00:05:52,885 IN FACT, MY DAD WAS A DEAD RINGER FOR SHELLEY WINTERS. 134 00:05:52,985 --> 00:05:55,121 THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE SHELLY WINTERS? 135 00:05:55,221 --> 00:05:57,790 IS THERE ANY OTHER? 136 00:05:57,890 --> 00:06:00,126 LISTEN. I GOTTA ASK YOU GUYS A FAVOR. 137 00:06:00,226 --> 00:06:01,928 JOY'S MOM IS IN FROM OUT OF TOWN, 138 00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:03,229 AND I NEED YOU TO COME OVER FOR DINNER 139 00:06:03,329 --> 00:06:05,031 AND BE A LITTLE BIT OF A BUFFER. 140 00:06:05,131 --> 00:06:07,133 I WAS THINKING, LIKE, SATURDAY NIGHT. ARE YOU GUYS FREE? 141 00:06:07,233 --> 00:06:08,901 IS THE FOOD FREE? ABSOLUTELY. 142 00:06:09,001 --> 00:06:11,804 THEN WE'RE FREE. FABULOUS. 143 00:06:16,075 --> 00:06:18,478 Eddie: JOY JOY? 144 00:06:18,578 --> 00:06:19,846 Joy: I'M IN HERE. 145 00:06:19,946 --> 00:06:21,314 HONEY? 146 00:06:21,414 --> 00:06:22,415 HI. 147 00:06:22,515 --> 00:06:24,016 OH. 148 00:06:24,117 --> 00:06:25,618 I WAS GOING TO ASK YOU HOW YOUR DAY WENT WITH YOUR MOM, 149 00:06:25,718 --> 00:06:27,754 BUT I THINK I KNOW THE ANSWER. 150 00:06:27,854 --> 00:06:31,724 ACCORDING TO HER, I NEED MY HAIR DONE, 151 00:06:31,824 --> 00:06:35,194 AND MY CALVES DONE, AND MY BOOBS, 152 00:06:35,294 --> 00:06:37,397 MY BUTT, MY NOSE, 153 00:06:37,497 --> 00:06:39,232 MY EYES, MY LIPS. 154 00:06:39,332 --> 00:06:41,567 AND THEN SHE GOT CRITICAL! 155 00:06:41,667 --> 00:06:44,137 I'M ESSENTIALLY A TEARDOWN. 156 00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:47,039 WELL, WHEN YOU REBUILD, CAN WE PUT IN A POOL? 157 00:06:47,140 --> 00:06:48,908 HA HA HA HA! 158 00:06:49,008 --> 00:06:52,345 HONEY, I'M KIDDING. MWAH! 159 00:06:52,445 --> 00:06:54,046 EDDIE... 160 00:06:57,683 --> 00:07:00,420 I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN SURVIVE THE NEXT TWO DAYS. 161 00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:01,988 HONEY, I'VE GOT GOOD NEWS FOR YOU. 162 00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:04,357 I INVITED DONNELLY AND WHITEY OVER FOR DINNER. 163 00:07:04,457 --> 00:07:07,126 AND I FIGURE WITH DOUG AND ALLY, SHE'LL BE DISTRACTED. 164 00:07:07,226 --> 00:07:09,695 AND WITH A LITTLE LUCK, SHE WON'T EVEN KNOW YOU'RE THERE. 165 00:07:09,796 --> 00:07:12,665 YOU KNOW WHAT? THAT'S A GOOD IDEA. 166 00:07:12,765 --> 00:07:16,202 I MEAN, SHE LIKES ATTACKING NEW PEOPLE. 167 00:07:16,302 --> 00:07:18,704 AND YOU KNOW, WHITEY'S WEIRD. 168 00:07:18,805 --> 00:07:20,039 ALLY'S SKINNY. 169 00:07:20,139 --> 00:07:21,741 DONNELLY'S IRISH. 170 00:07:21,841 --> 00:07:23,242 AND DOUG IS... 171 00:07:23,342 --> 00:07:25,778 Both: DOUG. 172 00:07:25,878 --> 00:07:27,580 THIS GOOD WORK, BABE. THANKS. 173 00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:29,048 YEAH? SURE. SURE. 174 00:07:29,148 --> 00:07:31,851 SO, OK. WE GONNA GET OUT OF BED NOW? 175 00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:35,021 NO. I'M TIRED, 176 00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:36,823 AND IT'S LATE. 177 00:07:36,923 --> 00:07:38,558 HONEY, IT'S ONLY 4:30. 178 00:07:38,658 --> 00:07:41,961 YEAH, WELL. I'VE EATEN SIX MEALS AND PUT AWAY HALF A PINT OF GIN. 179 00:07:42,061 --> 00:07:44,664 I'M DONE FOR THE DAY. 180 00:07:44,764 --> 00:07:47,967 HEY, GUYS. THERE'S A MATLOCK MARATHON ON CHANNEL 32. 181 00:07:48,067 --> 00:07:50,670 OOH, LOOK AT THAT FLAT-SCREEN TELEVISION. 182 00:07:50,770 --> 00:07:55,007 LET'S WATCH IT IN HERE. COME ON. MOVE OVER, YOU HANDSOME DEVIL. 183 00:07:55,107 --> 00:07:57,143 OK. ALL RIGHT. 184 00:07:57,243 --> 00:07:58,744 OH, THAT'S GOOD. HA HA HA! 185 00:07:58,845 --> 00:08:00,513 WHO HAS THE CLICKER? 186 00:08:00,613 --> 00:08:03,816 GIVE HER THE CLICKER. OK. 187 00:08:03,916 --> 00:08:05,818 [SIGHS] 188 00:08:05,918 --> 00:08:08,821 OH, THAT ANDY GRIFFITH IS YUMMY. 189 00:08:08,921 --> 00:08:12,225 I'D LIKE TO SHOW HIM MY MAYBERRY. 190 00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:14,927 OOH! 191 00:08:19,799 --> 00:08:22,268 WELL, I FINISHED YOUR MANUSCRIPT LAST NIGHT, EDDIE, 192 00:08:22,368 --> 00:08:26,839 AND, I UM...LOVED IT. 193 00:08:26,939 --> 00:08:28,541 OH, WOW. 194 00:08:28,641 --> 00:08:30,409 MILES, I REALLY APPRECIATE THIS. 195 00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:33,946 I PUT MY HEART AND SOUL INTO THIS BOOK. 196 00:08:34,046 --> 00:08:36,516 PLEASE. I MEAN, IT SHOWS. 197 00:08:36,616 --> 00:08:38,718 I MEAN, IF I WAS A ZEPPELIN SCHOLAR, 198 00:08:38,818 --> 00:08:42,054 THIS WOULD BE MY FAVORITE BOOK ON EARTH. 199 00:08:42,154 --> 00:08:45,725 THAT IS-- THAT IS MUSIC TO MY EARS. THANK YOU. 200 00:08:45,825 --> 00:08:47,326 WELL, I CAN GO FURTHER. 201 00:08:47,426 --> 00:08:50,296 IF I WAS A DIRIGIBLE AFICIONADO, 202 00:08:50,396 --> 00:08:53,399 YOU, MY FRIEND, HAVE WRITTEN THE BIBLE. 203 00:08:53,499 --> 00:08:55,935 I'M SPEECHLESS. 204 00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:57,336 YEAH, I'M NOT. 205 00:08:57,436 --> 00:08:59,939 LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION, EDDIE. 206 00:09:00,039 --> 00:09:03,976 EXACTLY HOW MANY BLIMP AFICIONADOS 207 00:09:04,076 --> 00:09:06,078 DO YOU THINK THERE ARE IN THE WORLD? 208 00:09:06,178 --> 00:09:08,447 WOW. I DON'T KNOW. 100,000? 209 00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:11,284 TWENTY-SEVEN. 210 00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:14,153 AND I GOT THAT NUMBER FROM OUR RESEARCH DEPARTMENT. 211 00:09:14,253 --> 00:09:17,323 TWELVE OF THEM ARE BLIMP PILOTS, 212 00:09:17,423 --> 00:09:20,426 AND THE REST OF THEM ARE LUNATICS. 213 00:09:20,526 --> 00:09:25,298 SO THAT MEANS WE HAVE TO CHARGE AT LEAST $15,000 A BOOK 214 00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:28,434 FOR EITHER ONE OF US TO MAKE EVEN A NICKEL ON THIS. 215 00:09:28,534 --> 00:09:30,803 OH, THAT'S-- THAT'S NOT GOOD. 216 00:09:30,903 --> 00:09:35,174 NO. IT'S BAD. IT'S--IT'S BAD. 217 00:09:35,274 --> 00:09:36,709 BUT YOU KNOW SOMETHING? 218 00:09:36,809 --> 00:09:39,011 I NEVER BRING UP A PROBLEM UNLESS I HAVE A SOLUTION. 219 00:09:39,111 --> 00:09:41,247 WELL, COLOR ME INTRIGUED, MILES. 220 00:09:41,347 --> 00:09:44,150 FIRST OF ALL, LOSE THE HINDENBURG ANGLE. 221 00:09:46,085 --> 00:09:48,955 BUT THAT'S WHAT THE BOOK IS ABOUT. 222 00:09:49,055 --> 00:09:51,524 EDDIE, LET ME TELL YOU A LITTLE STORY. 223 00:09:52,892 --> 00:09:54,560 LAST YEAR WE HAD THIS GUY COME IN HERE. 224 00:09:54,660 --> 00:09:58,064 AND HE WROTE A BOOK ABOUT THE AMPHIBIOUS LIFE 225 00:09:58,164 --> 00:09:59,799 IN THE AMAZON RAIN FOREST. 226 00:09:59,899 --> 00:10:02,935 AND YOU KNOW, IT WAS THOROUGHLY RESEARCHED. 227 00:10:03,035 --> 00:10:07,573 I MEAN, IT WAS JUST IMPECCABLE THE WAY HE DID HIS WORK. 228 00:10:07,673 --> 00:10:09,842 THE WRITING, THE PICTURES. IT WAS PERFECT. 229 00:10:09,942 --> 00:10:12,945 AND I JUST MADE ONE LITTLE CHANGE, 230 00:10:13,045 --> 00:10:18,484 AND IT WOUND UP SELLING OVER HALF A MILLION COPIES. 231 00:10:18,584 --> 00:10:20,920 WOW, WHAT DID YOU DO? 232 00:10:21,020 --> 00:10:25,291 WELL, FIRST I CHANGED THE NAME TO FRITZY THE FROG. 233 00:10:25,391 --> 00:10:29,562 AND YOU KNOW, I REDUCED THE NUMBER OF WORDS IN THE MANUSCRIPT 234 00:10:29,662 --> 00:10:33,366 FROM OVER 100,000 TO ONE. 235 00:10:38,137 --> 00:10:39,772 I DON'T KNOW. 236 00:10:39,872 --> 00:10:43,709 I GUESS I CAN CALL MY BOOK HARRY THE HINDENBURG. 237 00:10:43,809 --> 00:10:48,814 BOY, YOU'VE REALLY GOT A BUG UP YOUR ASS ABOUT THE HINDENBURG, DON'T YOU? 238 00:10:48,914 --> 00:10:51,884 BUT THAT'S COOL. THAT'S FINE. THAT'S FINE, REALLY. 239 00:10:51,984 --> 00:10:55,921 JUST DO ME A FAVOR. JUST FOLLOW THIS OUT TO ITS LOGICAL CONCLUSION, OK? 240 00:10:56,022 --> 00:11:00,826 HEY, KIDS, HERE IS HARRY THE HINDENBURG, 241 00:11:00,926 --> 00:11:02,662 OUR BELOVED MAIN CHARACTER, 242 00:11:02,762 --> 00:11:05,798 AND HE JUST FLIES THROUGH THE LOFTY CLOUDS. 243 00:11:05,898 --> 00:11:08,934 ♪ LA-LA-LEE, LA-LA-LOO, LA-LA-LA ♪ 244 00:11:09,035 --> 00:11:12,138 THEN HE BURSTS INTO FLAMES, AND HE DIES ALL OVER NEW JERSEY! 245 00:11:12,238 --> 00:11:14,774 BOY, WON'T THAT BE FUN, KIDS? 246 00:11:16,075 --> 00:11:17,410 I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. 247 00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:19,111 HERE'S WHAT YOU SAY. 248 00:11:19,211 --> 00:11:20,980 "I WANT TO BE A BEST-SELLING AUTHOR 249 00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:25,751 "OF A CLASSIC CHILDREN'S BOOK CALLED BENNY THE BLIMP 250 00:11:25,851 --> 00:11:29,088 "INSTEAD OF A SILLY HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER 251 00:11:29,188 --> 00:11:30,956 "WHO WROTE A BORING BOOK 252 00:11:31,057 --> 00:11:34,694 THAT WAS REJECTED BY THE PUBLISHER WHO'S NOW SUING HIM." 253 00:11:42,301 --> 00:11:45,071 CAN MINE AT LEAST GO KA-BOOM? 254 00:11:45,171 --> 00:11:47,139 KA-BOOM. 255 00:11:50,943 --> 00:11:50,976 {\an8}H 256 00:11:50,976 --> 00:11:51,010 {\an8}HUM 257 00:11:51,010 --> 00:11:51,210 {\an8}HUMBL 258 00:11:51,210 --> 00:11:51,310 {\an8}HUMBLE 259 00:11:51,310 --> 00:11:51,343 {\an8}HUMBLE CH 260 00:11:51,343 --> 00:11:51,377 {\an8}HUMBLE CHAP 261 00:11:51,377 --> 00:11:51,410 {\an8}HUMBLE CHAPEA 262 00:11:51,410 --> 00:11:51,444 {\an8}HUMBLE CHAPEAU. 263 00:11:53,979 --> 00:11:55,114 GOOD LINE. 264 00:11:55,214 --> 00:11:57,450 COME ON IN. MAKE YOURSELF COMFORTABLE. 265 00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:59,251 THIS LOOKS LIKE THE INSIDE OF A PIÑATA. 266 00:11:59,351 --> 00:12:00,853 THAT'S SWEET. 267 00:12:00,953 --> 00:12:03,155 CAN I GET YOU ANYTHING? 268 00:12:03,255 --> 00:12:05,624 YOU GOT ANY PERCOCET? 269 00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:06,726 NO. 270 00:12:06,826 --> 00:12:09,061 I'M GOOD. 271 00:12:10,863 --> 00:12:12,431 [SIGHS] 272 00:12:12,531 --> 00:12:16,635 LOOK, SINCE WE'RE HERE, I'D TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING. 273 00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:19,138 I AM VERY WORRIED ABOUT YOUR MOTHER. 274 00:12:19,238 --> 00:12:20,806 BECAUSE OF HER DRINKING? NO. 275 00:12:20,906 --> 00:12:22,108 MOOD SWINGS? NO. 276 00:12:22,208 --> 00:12:24,343 SLUTTY CLOTHES? GENERAL SENSE OF ENNUI? 277 00:12:24,443 --> 00:12:25,644 NO. 278 00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:27,613 HER GAS THING? OH, HER EATING HABITS? 279 00:12:27,713 --> 00:12:28,914 SUSPENDED LICENSE? WHAT? 280 00:12:29,014 --> 00:12:30,216 COLOR-BLINDNESS? 281 00:12:30,316 --> 00:12:32,418 SUPERIORITY COMPLEX? INFERIORITY COMPLEX? 282 00:12:32,518 --> 00:12:35,387 I KNOW-- HER FEAR OF NORWEGIANS. 283 00:12:35,488 --> 00:12:36,789 NO. 284 00:12:36,889 --> 00:12:39,325 WHAT I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT IS HER HYPERSENSITIVITY 285 00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:41,794 ABOUT EVERYTHING THAT'S WRONG WITH HER. 286 00:12:41,894 --> 00:12:44,697 AND THAT'S ANOTHER THING THAT'S WRONG WITH HER! 287 00:12:44,797 --> 00:12:47,933 GRAMMY, ALL I CAN SAY IS I THINK THINGS COULD BE A LITTLE BETTER 288 00:12:48,033 --> 00:12:51,137 BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU IF YOU WERE A LITTLE LESS JUDGMENTAL 289 00:12:51,237 --> 00:12:53,038 AND A LITTLE MORE COMPLIMENTARY. 290 00:12:53,139 --> 00:12:56,308 AND IT WOULD ALSO HELP IF YOU COULD SHOW SOME TOLERANCE FOR MOM. 291 00:12:56,408 --> 00:13:00,045 AND MAYBE THE HUMAN RACE IN GENERAL. 292 00:13:00,146 --> 00:13:02,915 ALL RIGHT. YOU'RE RIGHT. 293 00:13:03,015 --> 00:13:04,817 I'M GONNA TRY, OK? 294 00:13:04,917 --> 00:13:06,018 GOOD. 295 00:13:06,118 --> 00:13:08,587 YOU KNOW WHAT IT SMELLS LIKE IN HERE? 296 00:13:08,687 --> 00:13:09,555 WHAT? 297 00:13:09,655 --> 00:13:10,623 BOB MARLEY. 298 00:13:10,723 --> 00:13:12,258 OH, DID YOU KNOW BOB MARLEY? 299 00:13:12,358 --> 00:13:16,095 I KNEW HIM INTIMATELY, BUT NOT VERY WELL. 300 00:13:17,530 --> 00:13:19,331 HELP GRAMMY UP. I'VE GOT A BACKACHE. 301 00:13:19,431 --> 00:13:23,402 AND I GOT TO GO IN THE HOUSE AND REST THESE GIRLS ON THE TABLE FOR A WHILE. 302 00:13:23,502 --> 00:13:26,238 OK? LET'S GO. 303 00:13:31,110 --> 00:13:33,846 SALUD. 304 00:13:33,946 --> 00:13:35,014 MMM. 305 00:13:35,114 --> 00:13:37,917 AHH. THAT'S GOOD. 306 00:13:38,017 --> 00:13:39,285 [CHUCKLES] 307 00:13:39,385 --> 00:13:42,254 OH, JOY, DRINKING WITH YOU LIKE THIS REMINDS ME 308 00:13:42,354 --> 00:13:44,924 OF THE NIGHT YOUR PROM DATE WAS A NO-SHOW. 309 00:13:45,024 --> 00:13:46,692 YEAH. 310 00:13:46,792 --> 00:13:51,597 IN HINDSIGHT, IT PROBABLY WAS A MISTAKE TO GIVE IT UP TO HIM THAT AFTERNOON. 311 00:13:51,697 --> 00:13:53,065 YOU LIVE AND YOU LEARN. 312 00:13:53,165 --> 00:13:56,235 BELIEVE ME, I'VE FOUND MYSELF ALONE IN MOTELS ROOMS 313 00:13:56,335 --> 00:13:58,504 AT 11:00 ON SUNDAY MORNINGS, 314 00:13:58,604 --> 00:14:01,407 WAITING FOR SOME GUY TO BRING ME BACK SMOKES. 315 00:14:01,507 --> 00:14:05,978 BUT, HEY, THAT'S WHAT HIGH SCHOOL IS FOR. 316 00:14:09,148 --> 00:14:10,649 HAVE YOU HEARD FROM MY DAD? 317 00:14:10,749 --> 00:14:13,018 YEAH. HE GOT MARRIED AGAIN. 318 00:14:13,118 --> 00:14:14,086 REALLY? YEAH. 319 00:14:14,186 --> 00:14:16,055 HE MARRIED A WHORE. 320 00:14:16,155 --> 00:14:20,159 MOM, YOU CAN'T CALL ALL THE WOMEN DAD MARRIES "WHORES." 321 00:14:20,259 --> 00:14:23,295 THIS WOMAN IS AN ACTUAL WHORE. 322 00:14:23,395 --> 00:14:25,865 I'M NOT BEING JUDGMENTAL. THAT'S HER JOB. 323 00:14:25,965 --> 00:14:28,067 THAT'S WHAT IT SAYS ON HER W-2. 324 00:14:28,167 --> 00:14:32,171 "OCCUPATION: WHORE." 325 00:14:33,372 --> 00:14:34,940 WHERE DID HE MEET HER? 326 00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:37,643 IN A WHORE HOUSE. THAT'S WHERE WHORES HANG OUT. 327 00:14:37,743 --> 00:14:39,078 MOM, TAKE IT DOWN A NOTCH, OK? 328 00:14:39,178 --> 00:14:40,913 THIS IS MY FATHER WE'RE TALKING ABOUT. 329 00:14:41,013 --> 00:14:43,716 ALL RIGHT. TRUTHFULLY, I WISH HIM THE BEST. 330 00:14:43,816 --> 00:14:44,950 REALLY? 331 00:14:45,050 --> 00:14:47,386 YEAH. THE MAN HAS EVERY RIGHT TO LIVE 332 00:14:47,486 --> 00:14:49,188 THE WAY HE WANTS TO LIVE. 333 00:14:49,288 --> 00:14:53,425 THAT'S VERY EVOLVED OF YOU. I'M SURPRISED. 334 00:14:53,525 --> 00:14:58,030 WELL, YOU KNOW. I'M TRYING TO BE LESS CRITICAL OF EVERYONE, 335 00:14:58,130 --> 00:14:59,999 INCLUDING YOUR FATHER. 336 00:15:00,099 --> 00:15:03,502 WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? THAT SOUNDS GREAT ME. 337 00:15:05,971 --> 00:15:08,540 YOU KNOW, I ALWAYS THOUGHT HE'D COME BACK TO ME. 338 00:15:08,641 --> 00:15:11,277 DID YOU WANT HIM TO COME BACK? 339 00:15:11,377 --> 00:15:14,280 NOT UNTIL NOW. 340 00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:17,383 JOY, I WANT TO ASK YOU SOMETHING. 341 00:15:17,483 --> 00:15:20,686 WHAT DID YOU DO RIGHT IN YOUR MARRIAGE 342 00:15:20,786 --> 00:15:23,188 THAT I DID WRONG? 343 00:15:23,289 --> 00:15:25,925 GOD, I--I DON'T KNOW. 344 00:15:26,025 --> 00:15:30,229 UM, WELL, EDDIE AND I MAKE EACH OTHER LAUGH. 345 00:15:30,329 --> 00:15:32,064 [CHUCKLES] 346 00:15:32,164 --> 00:15:36,235 YOU KNOW, THE ONLY TIME I MADE YOUR DADDY LAUGH WAS WHEN I FELL. 347 00:15:39,104 --> 00:15:41,073 IS THAT WHY WE ALWAYS WENT ICE SKATING? 348 00:15:41,173 --> 00:15:43,142 YEAH! 349 00:15:43,242 --> 00:15:45,244 [BOTH LAUGHING] 350 00:15:47,446 --> 00:15:48,647 I LOVE YOU. 351 00:15:48,747 --> 00:15:50,382 I LOVE YOU. 352 00:15:50,482 --> 00:15:52,318 LET'S DRINK. 353 00:15:52,418 --> 00:15:53,819 THIS IS GOOD. 354 00:15:53,919 --> 00:15:55,254 YEAH. 355 00:15:55,521 --> 00:15:55,554 I 356 00:15:55,554 --> 00:15:55,621 I DO 357 00:15:55,621 --> 00:15:55,654 I DON' 358 00:15:55,654 --> 00:15:55,688 I DON'T 359 00:15:55,688 --> 00:15:55,721 I DON'T KN 360 00:15:55,721 --> 00:15:55,754 I DON'T KNOW 361 00:15:55,754 --> 00:15:55,854 I DON'T KNOW. 362 00:15:55,854 --> 00:15:55,888 I DON'T KNOW. WH 363 00:15:55,888 --> 00:15:55,921 I DON'T KNOW. WHY 364 00:15:55,921 --> 00:15:55,955 I DON'T KNOW. WHY IS 365 00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:55,988 I DON'T KNOW. WHY IS S 366 00:15:55,988 --> 00:15:56,021 I DON'T KNOW. WHY IS SUN 367 00:15:56,021 --> 00:15:56,055 I DON'T KNOW. WHY IS SUNDA 368 00:15:56,055 --> 00:15:56,088 I DON'T KNOW. WHY IS SUNDAY 369 00:15:56,088 --> 00:15:56,121 I DON'T KNOW. WHY IS SUNDAY MO 370 00:15:56,121 --> 00:15:56,155 I DON'T KNOW. WHY IS SUNDAY MORN 371 00:15:56,155 --> 00:15:56,188 I DON'T KNOW. WHY IS SUNDAY MORNIN 372 00:15:56,188 --> 00:15:56,221 I DON'T KNOW. WHY IS SUNDAY MORNING 373 00:15:57,990 --> 00:15:59,491 THE BEST TIME TO DRIVE ON THE HIGHWAY? 374 00:15:59,591 --> 00:16:02,728 OH, 'CAUSE THE CATHOLICS ARE IN CHURCH, 375 00:16:02,828 --> 00:16:04,363 THE JEWS ARE IN THE HAMPTONS, 376 00:16:04,463 --> 00:16:06,498 THE PUERTO RICANS CAN'T GET THEIR CARS STARTED, 377 00:16:06,598 --> 00:16:08,901 AND THE POLACKS THINK IT'S SATURDAY. 378 00:16:09,001 --> 00:16:10,536 [BOTH LAUGHING] 379 00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:12,004 THAT'S... 380 00:16:12,104 --> 00:16:14,006 [BOTH] HYSTERICAL! 381 00:16:14,106 --> 00:16:15,107 AND YOU KNOW WHY? 382 00:16:15,207 --> 00:16:16,742 BECAUSE IT'S TRUE! 383 00:16:16,842 --> 00:16:18,644 IT'S SO TRUE! 384 00:16:18,744 --> 00:16:21,113 NO. NO. NO. NO, IT'S NOT. 385 00:16:21,213 --> 00:16:22,781 IT'S NOT TRUE. 386 00:16:22,881 --> 00:16:24,516 WHAT PLANET ARE YOU FROM? 387 00:16:24,616 --> 00:16:26,652 THE ONE THEY FOUGHT A WAR 388 00:16:26,752 --> 00:16:29,722 SO ALL THE HIPPIES ON YOUR PLANET COULD GROW THEIR HAIR LONG 389 00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,790 AND SMOKE DOPE ALL DAY! 390 00:16:36,595 --> 00:16:41,500 WELL, I HATE TO WALK OUT ON POTHEAD VS. HOTHEAD, 391 00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:45,704 BUT I TOLD DUFFY I'D BE BACK BY MIDNIGHT. 392 00:16:45,804 --> 00:16:47,406 COME ON, WHITEY. WHAT THE MATTER? 393 00:16:47,506 --> 00:16:49,575 IF YOU'RE LATE, SHE DOESN'T SPANK YOU? 394 00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:50,709 THAT'S RIGHT. 395 00:16:50,809 --> 00:16:54,213 AND TONIGHT'S HAIRBRUSH NIGHT. 396 00:16:54,313 --> 00:16:56,215 COME ON, WHITEY, DON'T GO. 397 00:16:56,315 --> 00:16:59,885 WE'RE GONNE MOVE INTO THE LOUNGE AND START SOME SERIOUS DRINKING. 398 00:16:59,985 --> 00:17:03,522 YEAH, BUT THE LATER I AM, THE ANGRIER...SHE GETS. 399 00:17:03,622 --> 00:17:07,726 YEAH. I WILL SIT DOWN... WHILE I CAN. 400 00:17:07,826 --> 00:17:09,795 [LAUGHING] 401 00:17:09,895 --> 00:17:12,798 ALLY, GO GET YOUR UKULELE, HONEY. 402 00:17:12,898 --> 00:17:13,832 OK, DADDY. 403 00:17:13,932 --> 00:17:15,667 OH, WANT ME TO GO GET MY GUITAR? 404 00:17:15,768 --> 00:17:18,504 I'D RATHER YOU GO GET YOUR SUITCASE. 405 00:17:18,604 --> 00:17:22,608 COME ON, EVERYBODY. INTO THE LIVING ROOM. 406 00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:25,444 WELL, NOW I'M GOING TO SING A SONG THAT GRAMMY TAUGHT ME 407 00:17:25,544 --> 00:17:26,879 WHEN I WAS A LITTLE GIRL, 408 00:17:26,979 --> 00:17:29,748 AND IT'S BASED ON A TRUE EXPERIENCE THAT SHE HAD 409 00:17:29,848 --> 00:17:32,351 WHILE IN "LOST WAGES," NEVADA. 410 00:17:32,451 --> 00:17:34,219 [FORCED LAUGHTER] 411 00:17:35,754 --> 00:17:39,124 ♪ I HAD AN INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP ♪ 412 00:17:39,224 --> 00:17:41,760 ♪ WITH ELVIS PRESLEY'S ECTOMORPHIC TWIN ♪ 413 00:17:41,860 --> 00:17:43,529 ♪ HIS NAME WAS LITTLE ELVIS ♪ 414 00:17:43,629 --> 00:17:45,164 ♪ AND HE LIVED INSIDE THE JUMPSUIT ♪ 415 00:17:45,264 --> 00:17:47,166 ♪ UNDERNEATH BIG ELVIS' CHIN ♪ 416 00:17:47,266 --> 00:17:50,402 ♪ I WAS BACKSTAGE IN VEGAS, WAITING FOR AN AUTOGRAPH ♪ 417 00:17:50,502 --> 00:17:52,604 ♪ WHEN LITTLE ELVIS TOLD ME I WAS CUTE ♪ 418 00:17:52,704 --> 00:17:55,140 ♪ HE MADE A LITTLE SMALLTALK AND A PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICH ♪ 419 00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:57,676 ♪ AND WE SAT AROUND AND TALKED INSIDE THE SUIT ♪ 420 00:17:57,776 --> 00:18:00,546 ♪ A LITTLE WHILE LATER, MY KNEES WERE REALLY KNOCKING ♪ 421 00:18:00,646 --> 00:18:02,548 ♪ THE GUY KNEW HOW TO GET THE JOB DONE ♪ 422 00:18:02,648 --> 00:18:04,950 ♪ SO WHEN I GOT OUT OF THE JUMPSUIT ♪ 423 00:18:05,050 --> 00:18:06,518 ♪ I WENT INTO THE CONVENT ♪ 424 00:18:06,618 --> 00:18:09,822 ♪ AND SPENT THE NEXT 10 YEARS AS A NUN ♪ 425 00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:13,625 ♪ TILL I FOUND OUT WHAT "NONE" MEANT ♪ 426 00:18:13,725 --> 00:18:15,661 [IMITATING ELVIS] THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 427 00:18:15,761 --> 00:18:18,063 [LAUGHING AND CHEERING] 428 00:18:20,299 --> 00:18:25,003 ONCE AGAIN, WE DRANK THEM UNDER THE TABLE. 429 00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:27,706 EVEN THE IRISHMAN. 430 00:18:27,806 --> 00:18:30,542 OF COURSE WE DID. IT WAS FUN. 431 00:18:30,642 --> 00:18:33,545 AND YOU KNOW, THE BEST THING IS THAT I THINK YOU HATE ME 432 00:18:33,645 --> 00:18:36,181 JUST A LITTLE BIT LESS. 433 00:18:36,281 --> 00:18:38,851 MA, I NEVER HATED YOU. 434 00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:41,887 I JUST WAS AFRAID OF TURNING INTO YOU. 435 00:18:42,888 --> 00:18:44,623 I'M NOT SO AFRAID ANYMORE. 436 00:18:44,723 --> 00:18:46,658 I JUST WANTED YOU TO BE BETTER THAN ME. 437 00:18:46,758 --> 00:18:49,928 THAT'S WHY I SET THE BAR SO LOW. 438 00:18:50,028 --> 00:18:51,830 [BOTH LAUGHING] 439 00:18:51,930 --> 00:18:54,466 OH, GOOD! YOU'RE STILL AWAKE. 440 00:18:54,566 --> 00:18:57,736 THAT'S WHAT YOUR FATHER USED TO SAY WHEN WE HAD SEX. 441 00:18:57,836 --> 00:18:59,638 STOP! 442 00:18:59,738 --> 00:19:02,474 SO WE'VE BEEN UP ALL NIGHT WORKING ON A SONG THAT WE WROTE FOR YOU. 443 00:19:02,574 --> 00:19:04,443 UH-HUH. THAT'S SWEET. 444 00:19:04,543 --> 00:19:05,844 WE KNOW THAT YOU'RE LEAVING TOMORROW, 445 00:19:05,944 --> 00:19:08,080 SO WE WROTE YOU A LITTLE GOOD-BYE SONG. 446 00:19:08,180 --> 00:19:09,414 THAT'S SO NICE. 447 00:19:09,515 --> 00:19:13,051 ALLY TAKES AFTER US. SHE'S VERY TALENTED. 448 00:19:14,219 --> 00:19:18,991 AND DOUG...IS DOUG. 449 00:19:20,025 --> 00:19:21,693 WELL, LET'S HEAR THIS SONG. 450 00:19:21,793 --> 00:19:23,729 OK. ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR. 451 00:19:23,829 --> 00:19:26,331 ♪ WE'LL MISS YOUR SMILE, WE'LL MISS YOUR SHOES ♪ 452 00:19:26,431 --> 00:19:30,869 ♪ BUT NOT THE WAY YOU ALWAYS BASH THE JEWS ♪ 453 00:19:30,969 --> 00:19:34,606 ♪ GOOD-BYE, GRAMMY ♪ 454 00:19:34,706 --> 00:19:37,543 ♪ WE'LL MISS YOUR JOKES, THEY ALWAYS PLEASE ♪ 455 00:19:37,643 --> 00:19:41,280 ♪ UNLESS, OF COURSE, YOU'RE KNOCKING THE CHINESE ♪ 456 00:19:41,380 --> 00:19:44,650 ♪ GOOD-BYE, GRAMMY ♪ 457 00:19:44,750 --> 00:19:47,653 ♪ WE'LL MISS YOU EVERY NIGHT, WE'LL MISS YOU EVERY DAY ♪ 458 00:19:47,753 --> 00:19:51,156 ♪ WE HOPE WHEN YOU LEAVE US THINGS WILL BE OK-K-K ♪ 459 00:19:51,256 --> 00:19:52,958 "KKK!" HA HA! 460 00:19:53,058 --> 00:19:55,594 ♪ GOOD-BYE, GRAMMY ♪ 461 00:19:55,694 --> 00:19:58,564 ♪ WE'RE SENDING YOU AWAY WITH EVERYTHING YOU NEED ♪ 462 00:19:58,664 --> 00:20:02,334 ♪ HOMEMADE BROWNIES, HYDROPONICALLY ♪ 463 00:20:02,434 --> 00:20:05,337 ♪ IT'S FOR YOUR GLAUCOMA ♪ 464 00:20:05,437 --> 00:20:10,842 ♪ SO DON'T CRY OR SAY "HI" ♪ 465 00:20:10,943 --> 00:20:15,147 ♪ THIS IS GOOD-BYE-BYE-BYE ♪ 466 00:20:15,247 --> 00:20:17,816 ♪ GOOD-BYE, GRAMMY ♪ 467 00:20:17,916 --> 00:20:21,119 ♪ GOOD-BYE, GRAMMY ♪ 468 00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:23,789 I LOVED IT! I LOVED IT! 469 00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:26,291 I'M GONNA MISS YOU GUYS. SO MUCH. 470 00:20:26,391 --> 00:20:27,926 OHH. MISS YOU, TOO. 471 00:20:28,026 --> 00:20:29,261 MM-HMM. 472 00:20:29,361 --> 00:20:32,030 WHERE ARE THE BROWNIES? 473 00:20:35,701 --> 00:20:35,734 {\an8}♪ 474 00:20:39,304 --> 00:20:42,074 {\an8}♪ I'M IN A TERRIBLE FIX ♪ 475 00:20:42,174 --> 00:20:45,444 {\an8}♪ I ALWAYS SAY, "COME ON, LET'S GO" ♪ 476 00:20:45,544 --> 00:20:48,380 {\an8}♪ JUST WHEN I OUGHT TO SAY "NIX" ♪ 477 00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:51,383 {\an8}♪ WHEN A FELLA TRIES TO KISS A GIRL ♪ 478 00:20:51,483 --> 00:20:54,553 {\an8}♪ I KNOW SHE OUGHT TO GIVE HIS FACE A SMACK ♪ 479 00:20:54,653 --> 00:20:58,290 {\an8}♪ BUT AS SOON AS SOMEONE KISSES ME ♪ 480 00:20:58,390 --> 00:21:01,893 {\an8}♪ I SOMEHOW WANNA-WANNA KISS HIM BACK ♪ 481 00:21:01,994 --> 00:21:05,230 {\an8}♪ I CAN'T RESIST A ROMEO ♪ 482 00:21:05,330 --> 00:21:08,133 {\an8}♪ IN A SOMBRERO AND CHAPS ♪ OH, CHAPS! 37193

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.