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1
00:00:00,900 --> 00:00:03,870
♪ EVERY TIME I ZIG,
YOU ZAG ♪
2
00:00:03,970 --> 00:00:07,207
♪ I LIKE COFFEE,
TEA'S YOUR BAG ♪
3
00:00:07,307 --> 00:00:09,409
♪ THOUGH IT MAKES
NO SENSE, IT'S TRUE ♪
4
00:00:09,509 --> 00:00:13,113
♪ THERE'S NO ME
WITHOUT YOU ♪
5
00:00:13,213 --> 00:00:17,183
{\an8}Brad Garrett:
'TIL DEATH IS FILMED IN FRONT
OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE.
6
00:00:18,051 --> 00:00:20,153
{\an8}EDDIE, YOU CAN'T
ORDER FOOD,
7
00:00:20,253 --> 00:00:21,421
{\an8}TELL THEM IT'S DISGUSTING,
8
00:00:21,521 --> 00:00:22,956
{\an8}HAVE THEM TAKE IT
OFF THE CHECK
9
00:00:23,056 --> 00:00:25,191
{\an8}AND THEN ASK
FOR IT TO-GO.
10
00:00:25,291 --> 00:00:29,396
{\an8}I GOT A SWAN
FULL OF LASAGNA
THAT BEGS TO DIFFER.
11
00:00:30,563 --> 00:00:31,698
{\an8}SURPRISE!
12
00:00:31,798 --> 00:00:32,766
{\an8}[GASPS]
ALLISON!
13
00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:34,100
{\an8}OH, MY--ALLY!
14
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:35,635
{\an8}HEY, HONEY.
15
00:00:35,735 --> 00:00:38,838
{\an8}HEY, SURPRISE.
16
00:00:38,938 --> 00:00:39,839
{\an8}DOUG.
17
00:00:39,939 --> 00:00:41,474
{\an8}I'M SO SORRY
I WASN'T HERE
18
00:00:41,574 --> 00:00:42,709
{\an8}TO GREET YOU GUYS
PROPERLY.
19
00:00:42,809 --> 00:00:45,111
{\an8}I WAS JUST USING
THE FACILITIES.
20
00:00:45,211 --> 00:00:46,980
{\an8}PLEASE TELL ME
THAT'S SINK WATER
21
00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:50,350
{\an8}AND LIE TO ME
IF IT'S NOT.
22
00:00:50,450 --> 00:00:51,951
{\an8}SO, WHAT ARE YOU GUYS
DOING HERE?
23
00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:52,919
{\an8}MOM, DAD,
24
00:00:53,019 --> 00:00:54,587
{\an8}I HAVE SOME PRETTY
EXCITING NEWS.
25
00:00:54,687 --> 00:00:57,791
{\an8}NO BABY, NO BABY,
NO BABY, NO BABY.
26
00:00:58,858 --> 00:00:59,859
{\an8}I GOT OFF
THE WAIT LIST
27
00:00:59,959 --> 00:01:01,494
{\an8}FOR THE SEMESTER ABROAD
PROGRAM.
28
00:01:01,594 --> 00:01:03,196
{\an8}I'M GOING TO PARIS.
29
00:01:03,296 --> 00:01:04,697
{\an8}THAT IS
THE BEST NEWS!
30
00:01:04,798 --> 00:01:07,067
{\an8}OH, OH, OK.
I DIED FOR A FEW SECONDS.
31
00:01:07,167 --> 00:01:09,102
{\an8}TELL ME WHAT I MISSED?
32
00:01:09,202 --> 00:01:10,270
{\an8}I WOULD LEAVE ON FRIDAY.
33
00:01:10,370 --> 00:01:12,338
{\an8}I JUST--I JUST NEED
A CHECK FOR $1,500.
34
00:01:12,439 --> 00:01:13,573
{\an8}WELL, LET'S GO TO MY BANK.
35
00:01:13,673 --> 00:01:15,141
{\an8}YOU CAN HOLD IT UP.
36
00:01:15,241 --> 00:01:16,109
{\an8}WHAT?
37
00:01:16,209 --> 00:01:17,444
{\an8}HONEY, LISTEN.
38
00:01:17,544 --> 00:01:18,645
{\an8}I WOULD LOVE FOR YOU
TO GO, BUT YOU CAN'T.
39
00:01:18,745 --> 00:01:19,746
{\an8}DAD, YOU TOLD ME
I COULD GO.
40
00:01:19,846 --> 00:01:21,014
{\an8}YEAH, I KNOW,
BUT THAT'S
41
00:01:21,114 --> 00:01:22,682
{\an8}WHEN YOU WERE
ON THE WAITING LIST.
42
00:01:22,782 --> 00:01:23,950
{\an8}YOU SEE, YOU'RE
NO LONGER ON THE
WAITING LIST.
43
00:01:24,050 --> 00:01:25,552
{\an8}YOU'RE NOW
ON THE TRUTH LIST,
44
00:01:25,652 --> 00:01:27,921
{\an8}AND THE TRUTH IS,
DADDY'S OUT
OF GREENBACKS.
45
00:01:28,488 --> 00:01:29,656
{\an8}SIR, IF I MAY,
46
00:01:29,756 --> 00:01:30,890
{\an8}I THINK THIS WOULD BE
47
00:01:30,990 --> 00:01:32,225
{\an8}A REALLY GREAT
OPPORTUNITY FOR HER.
48
00:01:32,325 --> 00:01:33,493
{\an8}SHE NEEDS TO SEE THE WORLD.
49
00:01:33,593 --> 00:01:34,861
{\an8}THE MUSHROOMS
THAT GROW IN MY VAN
50
00:01:34,961 --> 00:01:38,965
{\an8}CAN ONLY EXPAND
HER MIND SO MUCH, YOU KNOW?
51
00:01:39,065 --> 00:01:40,233
{\an8}I ACTUALLY THINK
52
00:01:40,333 --> 00:01:41,534
{\an8}THAT THIS IS
A REALLY
GOOD IDEA,
53
00:01:41,634 --> 00:01:42,969
{\an8}AND I'M GONNA GO
GET THE CHECKBOOK.
54
00:01:43,069 --> 00:01:44,971
{\an8}H-HONEY, HAVE YOU SEEN
OUR BALANCE LATELY?
55
00:01:45,071 --> 00:01:49,976
{\an8}I MEAN, OUR CHECKBOOK
IS BASICALLY JUST SCRAP
PAPER WITH PANDAS ON IT.
56
00:01:50,076 --> 00:01:51,211
{\an8}[STAMMERING]
57
00:01:51,311 --> 00:01:52,612
{\an8}WHAT ARE YOU--
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
58
00:01:52,712 --> 00:01:53,713
{\an8}WE CAN AFFORD THIS.
59
00:01:53,813 --> 00:01:55,748
{\an8}NO, WE CAN--
LISTEN, THE ONLY REASON
60
00:01:55,849 --> 00:01:56,883
{\an8}WE WERE
OUT TO DINNER TONIGHT
61
00:01:56,983 --> 00:01:58,585
{\an8}WAS BECAUSE YOU
WON A RAFFLE.
62
00:01:58,685 --> 00:02:00,487
{\an8}OK, DO YOU LIKE
THAT COUPLE
OUT THERE?
63
00:02:00,587 --> 00:02:03,189
{\an8}DO YOU WANT TO LOOK
AT THAT FOR THE REST
OF YOUR LIFE?
64
00:02:03,289 --> 00:02:04,924
{\an5}NO.
THEN SHE'S GOING
ON THE TRIP.
65
00:02:05,024 --> 00:02:06,192
WELL, LOOK.
66
00:02:06,292 --> 00:02:07,861
WHAT--WHAT DIFFERENCE
IS IT GONNA MAKE ANYWAY?
67
00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:09,229
THEY'RE ONLY GONNA
BE APART 6 MONTHS.
68
00:02:09,329 --> 00:02:12,565
OH! YOU ARE
SO NAIVE.
69
00:02:12,665 --> 00:02:14,434
WHEN A YOUNG WOMAN
GOES TO EUROPE,
70
00:02:14,534 --> 00:02:15,768
DO YOU KNOW
WHAT HAPPENS?
71
00:02:15,869 --> 00:02:16,803
NO, I REALLY DON'T.
72
00:02:16,903 --> 00:02:18,304
BUT WHY DON'T WE
JUST SAVE $1,500
73
00:02:18,404 --> 00:02:21,374
AND JUST RENT SISTERHOOD
OF THE TRAVELING PANTS?
74
00:02:24,544 --> 00:02:25,512
SHE GOES TO EUROPE.
75
00:02:25,612 --> 00:02:26,813
SHE MEETS EUROPEAN GUYS,
76
00:02:26,913 --> 00:02:28,748
AND DO YOU KNOW
WHAT EUROPEAN GUYS DO?
77
00:02:28,848 --> 00:02:31,384
THINGS THAT MAKE YOU
FORGET ABOUT YOUR
LAME HOMETOWN BOYFRIEND
78
00:02:31,484 --> 00:02:33,786
AND HIS VAN FULL
OF MAGICAL MUSHROOMS.
79
00:02:33,887 --> 00:02:35,155
OH, PLEASE.
80
00:02:35,255 --> 00:02:36,623
BELIEVE ME.
81
00:02:36,723 --> 00:02:38,158
SOPHOMORE YEAR,
I DID A SEMESTER
IN MADRID.
82
00:02:38,258 --> 00:02:40,360
I DON'T THINK I HAD
MY TOP ON ONCE.
83
00:02:40,460 --> 00:02:41,628
I MEAN, I STEPPED
OFF THE PLANE
84
00:02:41,728 --> 00:02:45,532
AND IT WAS GUY
AFTER GUY AFTER GUY.
85
00:02:45,632 --> 00:02:46,699
ALL RIGHT.
OK, WE GET IT.
86
00:02:46,799 --> 00:02:49,802
J-JUST BRING IT
DOWN A NOTCH.
87
00:02:49,903 --> 00:02:52,772
OH, I WANT TO GO
BACK THERE.
88
00:02:52,872 --> 00:02:53,873
WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?
89
00:02:53,973 --> 00:02:55,408
I--I THINK
YOU ENDED UP PRETTY HAPPY
90
00:02:55,508 --> 00:02:56,910
WITH YOUR GUY
BACK HOME.
91
00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:59,679
WELL, IT IS
WHAT IT IS.
92
00:02:59,779 --> 00:03:01,014
COME ON. LISTEN.
WE'RE DOING THIS.
93
00:03:01,114 --> 00:03:02,315
WHOA. NO, WE ARE
NOT DOING IT.
94
00:03:02,415 --> 00:03:03,416
IT IS WAY
TOO EXPENSIVE
95
00:03:03,516 --> 00:03:05,185
AND WE CAN'T
AFFORD IT.
96
00:03:05,285 --> 00:03:06,586
END OF CONVERSATION.
97
00:03:06,686 --> 00:03:08,555
THE HEAD
OF THE HOUSEHOLD
HAS SPOKEN.
98
00:03:09,389 --> 00:03:10,723
YOU KNOW,
99
00:03:10,823 --> 00:03:12,825
PART OF ME IS GLAD
YOUR DAD WON'T
LET YOU GO.
100
00:03:12,926 --> 00:03:14,260
'CAUSE THEN
IT'LL GIVE US
101
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:16,896
ALL KINDS OF TIME
TO JUST BE
102
00:03:16,996 --> 00:03:17,997
AND DO
103
00:03:18,097 --> 00:03:19,799
AND FEEL.
104
00:03:19,899 --> 00:03:21,000
[SNAPS FINGERS]
105
00:03:21,100 --> 00:03:22,869
GIVE ME THE PANDAS.
106
00:03:27,941 --> 00:03:29,042
Joy: WHERE IS DOUG?
107
00:03:29,142 --> 00:03:30,143
YOU ARE GOING
TO MISS YOUR FLIGHT.
108
00:03:30,243 --> 00:03:31,211
HE'LL BE HERE.
109
00:03:31,311 --> 00:03:32,345
HEY, YOU KNOW
WHAT, HONEY?
110
00:03:32,445 --> 00:03:33,813
WHY DON'T WE
TAKE YOU, HUH?
111
00:03:33,913 --> 00:03:36,649
YEAH, DAD. THAT'S
A REAL ROMANTIC
EUROPEAN SEND-OFF.
112
00:03:36,749 --> 00:03:38,785
YOU LOADING ME DOWN
WITH HANDIWIPES
113
00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:41,287
TO MOP THE GERMS
OFF MY TRAY TABLE.
114
00:03:41,387 --> 00:03:43,223
EVERYBODY KNOWS
THAT AIRPLANES ARE
115
00:03:43,323 --> 00:03:46,292
JUST FLYING TUBES
OF DISEASE.
116
00:03:46,392 --> 00:03:47,360
HERE HE IS.
117
00:03:47,460 --> 00:03:49,495
I'M SO SORRY
I'M LATE.
118
00:03:49,596 --> 00:03:50,496
OHH!
119
00:03:50,597 --> 00:03:51,798
FOR MY FAIR MAIDEN.
120
00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:52,799
WHAT ARE THESE?
121
00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:54,534
WELL, I WAS
A LITTLE NERVOUS
122
00:03:54,634 --> 00:03:55,501
ABOUT YOU TRAVELING,
123
00:03:55,602 --> 00:03:56,736
SO, I STOPPED
BY A CREEK
124
00:03:56,836 --> 00:03:58,438
AND GATHERED SOME PEBBLES
WITH GOOD ENERGY
125
00:03:58,538 --> 00:04:00,607
TO KEEP
IN YOUR PURSE.
126
00:04:02,108 --> 00:04:04,811
HOLY MOTHER
OF GAYNESS.
127
00:04:06,879 --> 00:04:09,182
UNFORTUNATELY,
WHEN I GOT BACK
TO THE VAN,
128
00:04:09,282 --> 00:04:10,283
I REALIZED
THAT THE ENGINE
129
00:04:10,383 --> 00:04:11,618
HAD DROPPED OUT
THROUGH THE FLOOR,
130
00:04:11,718 --> 00:04:13,953
SO I HAD TO RUN
THE REST OF THE WAY.
131
00:04:14,053 --> 00:04:16,456
BUT, LUCKILY,
I FOUND THIS
RUNNING TWIG
132
00:04:16,556 --> 00:04:19,325
AND IT TOTALLY
TRIPLED MY SPEED.
133
00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:22,161
RUNNING TWIG?
REALLY?
134
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:25,732
WE'RE ALL
JUST GONNA LET
THAT ONE GO?
135
00:04:25,832 --> 00:04:27,867
ALL RIGHT. YOU
KNOW WHAT? WE'RE
GONNA TAKE YOU.
136
00:04:27,967 --> 00:04:29,869
DADDY, I TOLD YOU.
I JUST WANT TO GO
WITH DOUG.
137
00:04:29,969 --> 00:04:31,271
OK. HERE. TAKE
YOUR FATHER'S CAR.
138
00:04:31,371 --> 00:04:32,572
WH-WHY MY CAR?
139
00:04:32,672 --> 00:04:33,740
WHAT'S
THE MATTER
WITH YOUR CAR?
140
00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:35,508
MY CAR IS DOWNTOWN
WITH A BOOT ON IT.
141
00:04:35,608 --> 00:04:37,310
WHAT?
142
00:04:37,410 --> 00:04:38,478
YEAH, I GOT A BUNCH
OF PARKING TICKETS.
143
00:04:38,578 --> 00:04:39,879
I DIDN'T PAY 'EM.
I GOT SUBPEONAED
144
00:04:39,979 --> 00:04:41,047
AND THERE'S
A WARRANT OUT FOR MY--
145
00:04:41,147 --> 00:04:42,081
OH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.
146
00:04:42,181 --> 00:04:43,116
ANYWAY, TAKE HIS CAR.
147
00:04:43,216 --> 00:04:44,284
OK, WAIT--WAIT.
HOLD IT.
148
00:04:44,384 --> 00:04:45,418
IF YOU'RE GONNA
TAKE MY CAR,
149
00:04:45,518 --> 00:04:46,486
YOU GOTTA TAKE
MY SHORTCUT.
150
00:04:46,586 --> 00:04:48,021
NO, EDDIE. NOT
THE SHORTCUT.
151
00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:50,390
THAT WOMAN HAS NEVER
MISSED A PLANE
IN 20 YEARS
152
00:04:50,490 --> 00:04:51,691
BECAUSE OF MY SHORTCUT.
153
00:04:51,791 --> 00:04:53,326
OK, NOW, THIS IS
WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO.
154
00:04:53,426 --> 00:04:54,761
YOU'RE GONNA HOP
ON THE 411,
155
00:04:54,861 --> 00:04:56,195
THEN YOU TAKE
THE TURNPIKE.
156
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,831
YOU GET OFF THE EXIT
59B. THAT'S 5-9er BRAVO.
157
00:04:58,931 --> 00:05:02,268
IT'S GONNA BE
A QUICK RIGHT, QUICK
RIGHT, CRAZY QUICK LEFT.
158
00:05:02,368 --> 00:05:04,771
THEN YOU'RE GONNA
END UP AT, LIKE,
THIS REFINERY, OK?
159
00:05:04,871 --> 00:05:05,972
THERE'S GONNA BE A GATE.
160
00:05:06,072 --> 00:05:07,807
YOU CAN ASK
FOR A GUY NAMED FRANK.
161
00:05:07,907 --> 00:05:09,509
YOU'RE GONNA MENTION
MY NAME. HE'S GONNA
LET YOU THROUGH.
162
00:05:09,609 --> 00:05:11,210
THERE'S GONNA BE
A DIRT ROAD.
163
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:14,781
YOU'RE GONNA TAKE IT
10 MILES ALL THE WAY
TO THE TARMAC.
164
00:05:14,881 --> 00:05:19,519
OK, SO, IS THAT
A RIGHT OR A LEFT
OUT OF THE DRIVEWAY?
165
00:05:23,956 --> 00:05:23,990
{\an8}UR
166
00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:24,090
{\an8}URE
167
00:05:24,090 --> 00:05:24,123
{\an8}URE
WI
168
00:05:24,123 --> 00:05:24,157
{\an8}URE
WITH
169
00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:24,190
{\an8}URE
WITHOU
170
00:05:24,190 --> 00:05:24,223
{\an8}URE
WITHOUT
171
00:05:24,223 --> 00:05:24,257
{\an8}URE
WITHOUT DO
172
00:05:24,257 --> 00:05:24,290
{\an8}URE
WITHOUT DOUG
173
00:05:24,290 --> 00:05:24,324
{\an8}URE
WITHOUT DOUG I
174
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:24,357
{\an8}URE
WITHOUT DOUG IN
175
00:05:24,357 --> 00:05:24,390
{\an8}URE
WITHOUT DOUG IN IT
176
00:05:24,390 --> 00:05:24,424
{\an8}URE
WITHOUT DOUG IN IT.
177
00:05:26,693 --> 00:05:27,660
MMM. AMEN.
178
00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:28,928
OOH. MM-HMM.
179
00:05:29,028 --> 00:05:30,430
YOU KNOW, I ALWAYS
USED TO HAVE THIS NIGHTMARE
180
00:05:30,530 --> 00:05:32,865
WHERE THEY GOT MARRIED
AND THEN THEIR
LITTLE KIDS
181
00:05:32,965 --> 00:05:33,933
ENDED UP
RUNNING AROUND
182
00:05:34,033 --> 00:05:35,802
IN SCRAGGLY BEARDS
AND FLIP-FLOPS
183
00:05:35,902 --> 00:05:38,137
CALLING ME GRANDDUDE.
184
00:05:38,237 --> 00:05:39,505
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
185
00:05:39,605 --> 00:05:41,040
MMM.
HMM?
186
00:05:41,140 --> 00:05:43,910
THAT'S HER.
I TOLD HER TO CALL
BEFORE SHE TOOK OFF.
187
00:05:44,677 --> 00:05:45,578
HELLO?
188
00:05:45,678 --> 00:05:46,979
HEY, MAMA.
189
00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:48,247
HI, SWEETIE!
190
00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:49,549
HI! I JUST
WANTED TO CALL
191
00:05:49,649 --> 00:05:51,351
AND SAY
THANK YOU AGAIN
FOR LETTING ME GO.
192
00:05:51,451 --> 00:05:53,353
OH, IT'S
OUR PLEASURE, BABE.
193
00:05:53,453 --> 00:05:55,488
ASK HER
IF SHE WIPED DOWN
THE TRAY TABLE.
194
00:05:55,588 --> 00:05:56,422
SHH!
195
00:05:56,522 --> 00:05:57,490
AND ALSO
THE ARM REST.
196
00:05:57,590 --> 00:05:58,825
HONEY, UNDER
NO CIRCUMSTANCES
197
00:05:58,925 --> 00:06:01,027
DO YOU PUT THOSE
COMPLIMENTARY EARBUDS
198
00:06:01,127 --> 00:06:02,462
INTO YOUR HEAD.
199
00:06:02,562 --> 00:06:04,897
THEY'RE NOT EVEN
ON THE PLANE YET,
EDDIE.
200
00:06:04,997 --> 00:06:07,266
OH, HOLD ON ONE
SECOND, MAMA.
201
00:06:09,969 --> 00:06:11,738
OH! YOU HAVE 16A.
202
00:06:11,838 --> 00:06:12,772
I AM 16B.
203
00:06:12,872 --> 00:06:13,840
WHO--WHO IS
THAT, SWEETIE?
204
00:06:13,940 --> 00:06:15,541
WHAT'S GOING ON?
WHAT'S GOING ON?
205
00:06:15,641 --> 00:06:18,044
I'M JUST TALKING
TO THE GUY WHO'S
SITTING NEXT TO ME.
206
00:06:18,144 --> 00:06:19,512
SHE'S TALKING TO
THE GUY NEXT--
207
00:06:19,612 --> 00:06:21,247
HE'S FRENCH.
HE SOUNDS HOT.
208
00:06:21,347 --> 00:06:22,315
WHAT DOES HE DO?
209
00:06:22,415 --> 00:06:23,282
[STAMMERS]
210
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:24,951
ALLY, WHAT
DOES HE DO?
211
00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:27,653
I--MOM, HE JUST
PULLED A MAGAZINE
OUT OF HIS BAG.
212
00:06:27,754 --> 00:06:29,989
HE JUST PULLED
A MAGAZINE OUT
OF HIS BAG.
213
00:06:30,089 --> 00:06:31,324
HAVE HER
SMELL THE BAG.
214
00:06:31,424 --> 00:06:32,525
SEE IF IT'S
REAL LEATHER.
215
00:06:32,625 --> 00:06:33,760
I'M TELLING--
STOP IT.
216
00:06:33,860 --> 00:06:35,228
OK, MAMA?
I GOTTA GO.
217
00:06:35,328 --> 00:06:36,295
MY FLIGHT
IS BOARDING.
218
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:37,663
I LOVE YOU GUYS
SO MUCH.
219
00:06:37,764 --> 00:06:39,332
OK, BABY. WELL,
WE LOVE YOU,
TOO.
220
00:06:39,432 --> 00:06:40,833
LOVE YOU, ANGEL.
221
00:06:40,933 --> 00:06:42,602
HAVE A GREAT FLIGHT.
BE SAFE. OK.
BYE. BYE.
222
00:06:42,702 --> 00:06:43,636
MWAH!
223
00:06:43,736 --> 00:06:44,737
[LAUGHING]
224
00:06:44,837 --> 00:06:46,472
♪ SHE'S GOT
A BOYFRIEND ♪
225
00:06:46,572 --> 00:06:48,708
♪ AND HE'S
FROM FRANCE ♪
226
00:06:48,808 --> 00:06:49,675
HA HA HA!
227
00:06:49,776 --> 00:06:50,810
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
228
00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:52,078
OH, SHE'S PROBABLY
CALLING BACK
229
00:06:52,178 --> 00:06:53,446
TO TELL US THAT
SHE IS IN LOVE.
230
00:06:53,546 --> 00:06:54,747
I WANT TO TALK
THIS TIME.
231
00:06:54,847 --> 00:06:56,983
NO. NO. BONJOUR.
232
00:06:58,384 --> 00:06:59,552
WHAT?
233
00:06:59,652 --> 00:07:00,720
WE FOUND HIM IN HIS CAR,
234
00:07:00,820 --> 00:07:02,989
UPSIDE DOWN
ON A DIRT ROAD,
235
00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:06,092
CLUTCHING A TWIG.
236
00:07:08,795 --> 00:07:09,862
HE, UH, HE SHOULD
BE ALL RIGHT,
237
00:07:09,962 --> 00:07:11,130
BUT HE GOT
BANGED UP PRETTY GOOD.
238
00:07:11,230 --> 00:07:13,399
ARE YOU RELATED
TO THE PATIENT?
239
00:07:13,499 --> 00:07:17,970
OH, OUR DAUGHTER'S
ABOUT TO BREAK UP
WITH HIM.
240
00:07:18,070 --> 00:07:20,440
WELL, THAT SHOULD
REALLY LIFT HIS SPIRITS.
241
00:07:20,540 --> 00:07:21,474
ALL RIGHT.
242
00:07:21,574 --> 00:07:22,842
I'LL GIVE YOU GUYS
A MINUTE.
243
00:07:22,942 --> 00:07:24,410
OK.
244
00:07:29,916 --> 00:07:31,117
DOUG.
245
00:07:31,217 --> 00:07:32,652
DOUG.
HUH?
246
00:07:32,752 --> 00:07:34,654
HOW'S MY CAR?
247
00:07:34,754 --> 00:07:36,823
EDDIE!
248
00:07:36,923 --> 00:07:38,958
SHH.
249
00:07:39,058 --> 00:07:40,126
ARE--ARE YOU OK, DOUG?
250
00:07:40,226 --> 00:07:42,295
TELL US WHAT HAPPENED.
251
00:07:42,395 --> 00:07:43,329
[SIGHS]
252
00:07:43,429 --> 00:07:44,931
WELL, WHEN I WAS
TAKING YOUR SHORTCUT
253
00:07:45,031 --> 00:07:46,399
BACK FROM THE AIRPORT,
254
00:07:46,499 --> 00:07:48,701
I WAS PRETTY EMOTIONAL
FROM SAYING GOOD-BYE
TO ALLISON.
255
00:07:48,801 --> 00:07:51,838
AND I WAS CRANKING
YOUR NEIL DIAMOND CD,
256
00:07:51,938 --> 00:07:53,840
AND MIDWAY THROUGH
FOREVER IN BLUE JEANS,
257
00:07:53,940 --> 00:07:59,745
I HIT A POTHOLE
AND I JUST FLIPPED
THE BITCH.
258
00:07:59,846 --> 00:08:01,080
I--I TRIED
TO CALL ALLISON,
259
00:08:01,180 --> 00:08:02,815
BUT IT WENT STRAIGHT
TO HER VOICE MAIL.
260
00:08:02,915 --> 00:08:04,917
SHE'S PROBABLY
IN THE AIR ALREADY.
261
00:08:05,017 --> 00:08:06,219
YOU KNOW,
LIKE THEY SAY.
262
00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:09,155
C'EST LA VIE.
SOUP DU JOUR.
263
00:08:10,356 --> 00:08:11,691
I COULDN'T CALL
MY PARENTS.
264
00:08:11,791 --> 00:08:14,093
WE'RE NOT EVEN
ON SPEAKING TERMS.
265
00:08:14,193 --> 00:08:15,161
SO, YOU GUYS
WERE THE ONLY ONES
266
00:08:15,261 --> 00:08:16,629
I COULD THINK OF
TO REACH OUT TO.
267
00:08:16,729 --> 00:08:20,266
WELL, WE'RE GLAD
THAT YOU DID, DOUG.
268
00:08:20,366 --> 00:08:23,369
OK, WE'RE
GONNA HIT IT.
269
00:08:23,469 --> 00:08:25,371
OH, MY GOD, DOUG.
270
00:08:25,471 --> 00:08:27,306
HONEY,
WHAT ARE YOU?
271
00:08:27,406 --> 00:08:28,307
OHH!
OH.
272
00:08:28,407 --> 00:08:30,009
BABY.
OH, OW.
273
00:08:30,109 --> 00:08:31,310
OW. OHH!
274
00:08:31,410 --> 00:08:33,546
MY CATHETER. OH.
275
00:08:33,646 --> 00:08:35,615
OH.
276
00:08:35,715 --> 00:08:37,183
[INDISTINCT]
277
00:08:37,283 --> 00:08:38,618
I THOUGHT YOU LEFT?
278
00:08:38,718 --> 00:08:40,319
MY PLANE WAS DELAYED,
279
00:08:40,419 --> 00:08:42,154
SO I TURNED ON MY PHONE
AND I GOT YOUR MESSAGE.
280
00:08:42,255 --> 00:08:44,156
GOD, I CAN'T BELIEVE
I ALMOST LOST YOU.
281
00:08:44,257 --> 00:08:45,191
I MISSED YOU SO MUCH.
282
00:08:45,291 --> 00:08:46,292
OH, I MISSED YOU MORE.
283
00:08:46,392 --> 00:08:47,860
I NEVER WANT
TO BE WITHOUT YOU AGAIN.
284
00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:49,629
I NEVER WANT TO BE
WITHOUT YOU AGAIN.
285
00:08:49,729 --> 00:08:50,630
DON'T GO TO PARIS.
286
00:08:50,730 --> 00:08:52,265
OK.
WILL YOU MARRY ME?
287
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:54,834
TOTALLY.
288
00:08:59,639 --> 00:09:01,507
BABY, YOU OK?
289
00:09:02,108 --> 00:09:04,210
NOT TOTALLY.
290
00:09:08,814 --> 00:09:10,716
OH, THIS IS SO ROMANTIC.
291
00:09:10,816 --> 00:09:15,054
OUR FIRST TIME
IN THE HOUSE
AS FIANCEE AND...
292
00:09:15,154 --> 00:09:16,989
GUY WHO FIANCEED ME.
293
00:09:17,089 --> 00:09:19,625
IT'S--IT'S ALMOST
AS IF THE UNIVERSE
294
00:09:19,725 --> 00:09:23,029
HAD A MASTER PLAN
FOR US TO BE
TOGETHER.
295
00:09:24,063 --> 00:09:25,765
YES. GOD HAS
CERTAINLY MADE
296
00:09:25,865 --> 00:09:29,068
HIS FEELINGS TOWARDS US
VERY CLEAR.
297
00:09:31,704 --> 00:09:34,707
MAY I GET A GLASS
OF WATER FOR MY FIANCE?
298
00:09:34,807 --> 00:09:36,108
YOUR FIANCE
WOULD LOVE THAT.
299
00:09:36,208 --> 00:09:38,344
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK,
FIANCE.
300
00:09:38,444 --> 00:09:39,712
I'LL MISS YOU,
FIANCEE.
301
00:09:39,812 --> 00:09:40,846
JUST...
302
00:09:40,947 --> 00:09:43,049
GO GET HIM THE WATER.
303
00:09:44,483 --> 00:09:45,318
HEH.
304
00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:46,619
MR. AND MRS. STARK--
305
00:09:46,719 --> 00:09:49,055
WAIT, WHAT AM I SAYING?
306
00:09:49,155 --> 00:09:51,624
MOM, DAD.
307
00:09:53,225 --> 00:09:54,293
I JUST WANT
TO THANK YOU GUYS
308
00:09:54,393 --> 00:09:56,128
FOR EVERYTHING
THAT YOU'RE DOING.
309
00:09:56,228 --> 00:09:58,598
WELL, IT'S
A PLEASURE, DOUG.
310
00:09:58,698 --> 00:10:00,700
SO, DOUG, HOW
ABOUT WE GET
A HOT MEAL IN YOU
311
00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:03,502
AND GET YOU TO A
MOTEL WITH A RAMP?
312
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:06,138
DAD, THE DOCTOR SAID
IT WAS GOING TO BE 6 WEEKS
313
00:10:06,238 --> 00:10:08,908
BEFORE THEY CAN EVEN TAKE
THE SCREWS OUT OF HIS BODY.
314
00:10:09,008 --> 00:10:11,944
WELL, ACTUALLY,
THEN THEY HAVE
TO REFRACTURE ME
315
00:10:12,044 --> 00:10:13,613
AND EVEN OUT MY LEGS.
316
00:10:13,713 --> 00:10:16,649
YOU ARE GONNA
STAY RIGHT HERE
ON THIS COUCH
317
00:10:16,749 --> 00:10:18,284
UNTIL YOU GET
OUT OF THOSE CASTS
318
00:10:18,384 --> 00:10:19,952
AND YOU'RE BACK
ON YOUR FEET.
319
00:10:20,052 --> 00:10:22,688
I'M GONNA GO GRAB
MOM'S RUBBER SPATULA
320
00:10:22,788 --> 00:10:25,424
TO WORK
YOUR ITCHY PARTS.
321
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:29,562
BOY, THERE ARE
SO MANY THINGS
BEING SAID
322
00:10:29,662 --> 00:10:32,298
THAT I DON'T
WANT TO HEAR.
323
00:10:32,398 --> 00:10:33,566
ALL RIGHT. I THINK
I'M GONNA GO UP
324
00:10:33,666 --> 00:10:35,968
AND GET DOUG
A PAIR OF YOUR PAJAMAS.
325
00:10:36,068 --> 00:10:38,838
AND WE HAVE
A WINNER.
326
00:10:40,539 --> 00:10:41,841
HEY, I HEARD
ABOUT THE ACCIDENT.
327
00:10:41,941 --> 00:10:44,577
WANTED TO COME BY
AND MAKE SURE
EVERYONE WAS OK.
328
00:10:44,677 --> 00:10:46,012
HOW YOU DOING, MAN?
329
00:10:46,112 --> 00:10:47,246
WELL, I'M IN
A LOT OF PAIN AND--
330
00:10:47,346 --> 00:10:49,248
COOL. LISTEN, EDDIE.
331
00:10:49,348 --> 00:10:50,883
DO NOT TAKE YOUR CAR
TO A BODY SHOP.
332
00:10:50,983 --> 00:10:52,251
MY COUSIN JIMMY
IS A MECHANIC.
333
00:10:52,351 --> 00:10:53,653
HE'LL HOOK YOU UP.
334
00:10:53,753 --> 00:10:55,287
HE'LL FIX YOUR WHOLE CAR
FOR, LIKE, 90 BUCKS.
335
00:10:55,388 --> 00:10:56,656
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
336
00:10:56,756 --> 00:10:58,024
OH, YEAH.
HE FIXES DENTS.
337
00:10:58,124 --> 00:10:59,692
HE'LL POP THAT THING
RIGHT ON OUT.
338
00:10:59,792 --> 00:11:03,329
KENNY--KENNY,
MY WHOLE FRONT END
IS CAVED IN.
339
00:11:03,429 --> 00:11:04,430
I'M TELLING YOU, MAN,
340
00:11:04,530 --> 00:11:06,799
THE MAN WILL
POP IT OUT.
341
00:11:06,899 --> 00:11:10,202
ALL RIGHT. WHO DO
I MAKE THE CHECK
OUT TO?
342
00:11:10,302 --> 00:11:13,339
MAKE IT OUT
TO PAM'S CUPCAKES.
343
00:11:19,111 --> 00:11:20,713
GREAT PLAN, JOY.
344
00:11:20,813 --> 00:11:21,747
GOOD JOB.
345
00:11:21,847 --> 00:11:22,948
LET'S SEND HER
ON A TRIP
346
00:11:23,049 --> 00:11:24,884
SO SHE CAN
SLEEP HER WAY
AROUND EUROPE
347
00:11:24,984 --> 00:11:26,185
THE WAY MAMA DID.
348
00:11:26,285 --> 00:11:28,220
I THOUGHT IT WOULD
BREAK THEM UP.
349
00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:30,089
IT GOT THEM ENGAGED.
350
00:11:30,189 --> 00:11:32,291
[SPITS]
YOU KNOW, NONE OF THIS
WOULD HAVE HAPPENED
351
00:11:32,391 --> 00:11:34,160
IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOUR
STUPID SHORTCUT.
352
00:11:34,260 --> 00:11:36,262
HEY, MY SHORTCUT GOT HER
TO THE PLANE ON TIME.
353
00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:39,832
WHAT IDIOT
TAKES A SHORTCUT
ON THE WAY HOME?
354
00:11:39,932 --> 00:11:41,801
ALL RIGHT.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
355
00:11:41,901 --> 00:11:44,470
[SPITS]
IF YOU KNOW
A SHORTER WAY,
356
00:11:44,570 --> 00:11:49,108
WHY WOULDN'T YOU
TAKE IT BOTH WAYS, ASS?
357
00:11:50,109 --> 00:11:51,043
BECAUSE,
358
00:11:51,143 --> 00:11:53,446
MRS. ASS ASSERSON,
359
00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:56,849
YOU TAKE A SHORTCUT
WHEN YOU WANT TO GET
TO SOME PLACE FASTER.
360
00:11:56,949 --> 00:12:00,019
IF EVERYBODY
TOOK A SHORTCUT
AT THE SAME TIME,
361
00:12:00,119 --> 00:12:01,087
WHAT WOULD IT BE?
362
00:12:01,187 --> 00:12:04,156
CLOGGED.
USE YOUR HEAD, WOMAN.
363
00:12:04,256 --> 00:12:07,026
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE
A SMALL SHORTCUT
TO HELL?
364
00:12:07,126 --> 00:12:08,794
OOH.
365
00:12:08,894 --> 00:12:13,466
IS THAT THE POTTY MOUTH
YOU USED WHEN YOU WERE
TURNING TRICKS IN SPAIN?
366
00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:16,635
OK, EVERYBODY
JUST CALM DOWN,
ALL RIGHT?
367
00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:18,170
WE ARE TURNING
ON EACH OTHER
368
00:12:18,270 --> 00:12:20,740
AND WE HAVE
A VERY LARGE PROBLEM
DOWNSTAIRS
369
00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:24,210
AND WE NEED
TO WORK TOGETHER
AND FIX THIS.
370
00:12:24,310 --> 00:12:25,311
YOU'RE RIGHT. OOH.
371
00:12:25,411 --> 00:12:26,479
WE HAVE TO COME UP
WITH A WAY
372
00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:27,780
WHERE ALLISON
UNDERSTANDS
373
00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:31,183
THAT THIS ENGAGEMENT
IS A BIG MISTAKE.
374
00:12:31,283 --> 00:12:32,251
SHE IS 21 YEARS OLD.
375
00:12:32,351 --> 00:12:34,320
THIS IS
ABSOLUTELY CRAZY.
376
00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:37,423
WE JUST HAVE
TO MAKE HER REALIZE THAT.
377
00:12:37,523 --> 00:12:39,859
HOW ARE WE
GOING TO DO THAT?
378
00:12:43,462 --> 00:12:45,264
I--I GOT IT.
OK. HERE.
379
00:12:45,364 --> 00:12:46,565
WE GOT MARRIED YOUNG.
380
00:12:46,665 --> 00:12:47,600
REALLY YOUNG.
381
00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:49,101
WAY TOO YOUNG.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
382
00:12:49,201 --> 00:12:50,669
HEH. LOOK HOW THIS
TURNED OUT.
383
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:52,271
IT'S AWFUL.
384
00:12:52,371 --> 00:12:54,573
IT'S A DISASTER.
IT'S A TRAINWRECK.
385
00:12:54,673 --> 00:12:57,510
I MEAN, LOOK.
WE HAVE NO MONEY.
WE HAVE DEAD-END JOBS,
386
00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:59,078
NO PLANS FOR THE FUTURE.
387
00:12:59,178 --> 00:13:01,413
HEY, THE ONLY GOOD THING
TO SHOW FOR OUR MARRIAGE
388
00:13:01,514 --> 00:13:05,017
IS DOWNSTAIRS ITCHING
A CRIPPLE'S BUSINESS
WITH YOUR FLATWARE.
389
00:13:08,354 --> 00:13:10,256
SO, WE'LL TELL ALLISON
390
00:13:10,356 --> 00:13:11,891
IF SHE GETS MARRIED
THIS YOUNG,
391
00:13:11,991 --> 00:13:14,226
SHE'S GONNA TURN OUT
JUST LIKE US.
392
00:13:14,326 --> 00:13:15,528
THAT'LL SCARE
THE HELL OUT OF HER.
393
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:16,629
THAT'S PERFECT.
394
00:13:16,729 --> 00:13:17,763
LET'S GO DOWN THERE
RIGHT NOW.
395
00:13:17,863 --> 00:13:19,198
NO, NO, NO.
WE CAN'T GO RIGHT NOW.
396
00:13:19,298 --> 00:13:20,366
NOT IN FRONT OF DOUG.
397
00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:21,834
TOMORROW,
I WILL GET HER ALONE
398
00:13:21,934 --> 00:13:23,302
AND I WILL
TAKE CARE OF THIS.
399
00:13:23,402 --> 00:13:25,204
OH--OH, OK. OK.
WE'LL DO IT
THAT WAY.
400
00:13:25,304 --> 00:13:28,574
I MEAN, WHO BETTER
TO SHOW HER HOW BAD
MARRIAGE IS THAN US?
401
00:13:28,674 --> 00:13:29,608
I LOVE YOU.
402
00:13:29,708 --> 00:13:30,676
I LOVE YOU, TOO.
403
00:13:30,776 --> 00:13:31,911
YOU WANNA HAVE SEX?
404
00:13:32,011 --> 00:13:34,446
NO.
ME NEITHER.
405
00:13:38,884 --> 00:13:40,719
[MOTOR WHIRRING]
406
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:41,854
Kenny:
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
407
00:13:41,954 --> 00:13:43,088
I THOUGHT YOU WERE
GONNA POP IT OUT?
408
00:13:43,189 --> 00:13:44,390
Man: I CAN'T POP IT OUT.
409
00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:46,258
I GAVE THE MAN MY WORD
THAT YOU WOULD POP IT OUT.
410
00:13:46,358 --> 00:13:48,527
SOME THINGS
ARE NOT POPPABLE.
411
00:13:48,627 --> 00:13:50,629
POP IT!
YOU POP IT. I QUIT.
412
00:13:50,729 --> 00:13:52,765
GOOD!
413
00:13:53,866 --> 00:13:55,701
HOW'S IT GOING
OVER THERE?
414
00:13:55,801 --> 00:13:57,636
OH, GOOD, GOOD, GOOD.
415
00:13:57,736 --> 00:13:58,671
JUST TAKING A 5.
416
00:13:58,771 --> 00:14:00,139
PUT ON YOUR DRIVING GLOVES.
417
00:14:00,239 --> 00:14:03,075
REAL SOON.
VROOM, VROOM, VROOM!
418
00:14:07,413 --> 00:14:10,115
HEY.
419
00:14:10,216 --> 00:14:11,584
HOW'S IT
GOING, GUYS?
420
00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:12,885
PRETTY GOOD.
421
00:14:12,985 --> 00:14:16,589
I'M JUST RETEACHING
MY MOUTH HOW TO CHEW.
422
00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:19,158
GUESS WHO'S
UP TO PUDDING?
423
00:14:19,258 --> 00:14:22,494
YOU KEEP WORKING
THE MIRACLES, KIDS.
424
00:14:25,297 --> 00:14:26,298
ALL RIGHT. WELL?
425
00:14:26,398 --> 00:14:28,067
SO, DID YOU
TALK TO ALLISON?
426
00:14:28,167 --> 00:14:30,102
NO, I HAVEN'T
HAD A CHANCE
TO GET HER ALONE.
427
00:14:30,202 --> 00:14:31,337
EVER SINCE
THE ENGAGEMENT,
428
00:14:31,437 --> 00:14:33,239
THOSE TWO ARE JOINED
AT THE SHATTERED HIP.
429
00:14:33,339 --> 00:14:38,277
Allison: OK, GUESS WHO'S
READY FOR THEIR SPONGE BATH?
430
00:14:38,377 --> 00:14:39,578
COME HERE.
WHAT?
431
00:14:39,678 --> 00:14:40,913
AHEM. HEY, ALLISON.
432
00:14:41,013 --> 00:14:42,815
I THINK THAT MAYBE
YOU'VE DONE ENOUGH
FOR TODAY.
433
00:14:42,915 --> 00:14:46,785
WHY DON'T YOU LET YOUR--YOUR
DAD TAKE CARE OF THIS ONE?
434
00:14:50,256 --> 00:14:52,324
TAKE CARE OF WHAT ONE?
435
00:14:52,424 --> 00:14:56,495
YOU KNOW,
GIVING DOUG
HIS SPONGE BATH.
436
00:15:00,366 --> 00:15:02,234
WHAT THE HELL?
437
00:15:06,872 --> 00:15:08,307
COME ON.
438
00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:10,609
YOU KNOW,
I THINK THAT IT WILL
GIVE ME A CHANCE
439
00:15:10,709 --> 00:15:12,077
TO HAVE SOME ALONE
TIME WITH ALLISON
440
00:15:12,177 --> 00:15:14,613
AND--AND ALSO
AN OPPORTUNITY
FOR YOU
441
00:15:14,713 --> 00:15:19,084
TO DO SOME
FATHER-IN-LAW,
SON-IN-LAW BONDING.
442
00:15:19,184 --> 00:15:23,055
OH, WHY DO
WE HAVE TO JUMP
RIGHT TO SPONGE BATH?
443
00:15:23,155 --> 00:15:26,792
MAYBE I CAN WHEEL HIM
TO A STRIP CLUB.
444
00:15:26,892 --> 00:15:28,527
MAN UP,
GRAB A SPONGE,
445
00:15:28,627 --> 00:15:31,931
AND BATHE YOUR
FUTURE SON-IN-LAW.
446
00:15:32,031 --> 00:15:33,098
SIR, YOU DON'T
HAVE TO DO THIS
447
00:15:33,198 --> 00:15:34,900
IF IT MAKES YOU
UNCOMFORTABLE.
448
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:38,437
NO. I WANT TO.
449
00:15:38,537 --> 00:15:42,141
NO ONE KNOWS
HOW TO BATHE A MAN
450
00:15:42,241 --> 00:15:44,510
BETTER THAN ANOTHER MAN.
451
00:15:57,156 --> 00:16:00,960
SIR, DON'T YOU THINK
IT WOULD BE MORE EFFECTIVE
IF YOU LOOKED AT ME?
452
00:16:01,060 --> 00:16:03,362
NO, I DO NOT.
453
00:16:03,462 --> 00:16:04,897
DON'T TAKE IT
PERSONALLY,
454
00:16:04,997 --> 00:16:06,732
BUT I ONCE SPENT
A WHOLE SUMMER
WASHING DOGS
455
00:16:06,832 --> 00:16:10,769
AND I COULDN'T LOOK THEM
IN THE EYE, EITHER.
456
00:16:10,869 --> 00:16:13,939
OH, YEAH. THAT'S
THE SPOT RIGHT THERE.
457
00:16:16,008 --> 00:16:17,776
WHAT SPOT?
458
00:16:17,876 --> 00:16:18,911
NO, I'M JUST--
I'M JUST SAYING
459
00:16:19,011 --> 00:16:22,281
THAT THAT FEELS
REALLY GOOD.
460
00:16:22,381 --> 00:16:23,682
DOUG.
YES, SIR?
461
00:16:23,782 --> 00:16:24,917
SAY THAT
ONE MORE TIME
462
00:16:25,017 --> 00:16:28,354
AND I'M THROWING
IN THE HAIR DRYER.
463
00:16:28,454 --> 00:16:30,022
YOU KNOW, SWEETIE,
I JUST, UM,
464
00:16:30,122 --> 00:16:32,524
I WANT TO TALK ABOUT
THIS ENGAGEMENT THING.
465
00:16:32,624 --> 00:16:34,760
I MEAN, YOU JUST--
YOU'RE SO YOUNG
466
00:16:34,860 --> 00:16:38,797
AND YOUR DAD AND I,
WE GOT MARRIED
VERY YOUNG.
467
00:16:38,897 --> 00:16:42,901
I KNOW. YOU GUYS
TOTALLY INSPIRE ME.
468
00:16:46,305 --> 00:16:51,276
INSPIRE YOU TO WHAT?
469
00:16:51,377 --> 00:16:52,878
TO BE LIKE YOU.
470
00:16:52,978 --> 00:16:56,548
I MEAN, I'VE
ALWAYS WANTED
WHAT YOU GUYS HAVE.
471
00:16:56,648 --> 00:17:00,219
OF COURSE. I MEAN,
WHO WOULDN'T?
472
00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:03,188
WHAT EXACTLY DO WE HAVE?
473
00:17:03,288 --> 00:17:06,158
UH, AN AMAZING
RELATIONSHIP?
474
00:17:06,258 --> 00:17:09,828
I MEAN, ALL OF MY
FRIENDS' PARENTS
ARE DIVORCED
475
00:17:09,928 --> 00:17:11,897
AND THEY HATE
EACH OTHER,
476
00:17:11,997 --> 00:17:13,198
BUT YOU GUYS,
477
00:17:13,298 --> 00:17:14,533
I MEAN, YOU'RE
STILL TOGETHER
478
00:17:14,633 --> 00:17:17,836
AFTER ALL OF THESE
YEARS AND YOU STILL
479
00:17:17,936 --> 00:17:19,471
ARE BEST FRIENDS.
480
00:17:19,571 --> 00:17:20,939
HMM.
481
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:24,376
WE DO MAKE
A PRETTY GOOD TEAM,
I GUESS.
482
00:17:24,476 --> 00:17:26,145
PRETTY GOOD?
483
00:17:26,245 --> 00:17:29,581
MOM, THE REASON
THAT I'M SO CONFIDENT
484
00:17:29,681 --> 00:17:30,916
ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
TO DOUG
485
00:17:31,016 --> 00:17:34,219
IS BECAUSE YOU'VE
SHOWN ME FIRST HAND
486
00:17:34,319 --> 00:17:37,956
HOW GREAT
A MARRIAGE CAN BE.
487
00:17:40,993 --> 00:17:42,327
ARE YOU CRYING?
488
00:17:42,428 --> 00:17:44,096
NO.
489
00:17:45,197 --> 00:17:47,699
AND PERFECT.
490
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:48,801
ALL RIGHT.
491
00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:52,604
OK, LET'S
FLIP ME OVER.
492
00:17:55,607 --> 00:17:56,542
UH, JUST A HEADS UP.
493
00:17:56,642 --> 00:17:57,743
THE BACK OF MY THIGHS
494
00:17:57,843 --> 00:17:59,545
IS WHERE A LOT
OF THINGS CONGEAL.
495
00:17:59,645 --> 00:18:01,313
OK. AHEM.
496
00:18:01,413 --> 00:18:02,514
YOU KNOW WHAT?
497
00:18:02,614 --> 00:18:03,682
LET'S, UH, LET'S
TAKE A UNION FIVER
498
00:18:03,782 --> 00:18:05,451
FOR THE SCRUBBER, HUH?
499
00:18:05,551 --> 00:18:06,552
YEAH, YEAH.
500
00:18:06,652 --> 00:18:08,053
OH, GOD.
501
00:18:10,022 --> 00:18:11,090
HEY, SIR.
502
00:18:11,190 --> 00:18:14,293
CAN I SHARE
SOMETHING WITH YOU?
503
00:18:14,393 --> 00:18:15,527
I'M KINDA
GETTING COLD FEET.
504
00:18:15,627 --> 00:18:17,096
OH, OH, REALLY?
505
00:18:17,196 --> 00:18:18,764
REALLY, DOUG?
SO, YOUR FEET
ARE COLD NOW, HUH?
506
00:18:18,864 --> 00:18:20,432
WELL, IT ISN'T
GOING GREAT OVER
HERE, EITHER.
507
00:18:20,532 --> 00:18:22,401
THIS IS THE LEAST
HAPPY I'VE EVER BEEN
508
00:18:22,501 --> 00:18:24,470
SITTING
ON THE TOILET.
509
00:18:25,637 --> 00:18:29,007
NO, NO. I MEAN
ABOUT THE ENGAGEMENT.
510
00:18:36,081 --> 00:18:38,417
GO ON.
511
00:18:38,517 --> 00:18:41,286
WELL, I DON'T KNOW
IF IT WAS THE EMOTION
512
00:18:41,386 --> 00:18:43,021
OF SEEING ALLISON GO AWAY
513
00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:45,057
OR THE TRAUMA
OF THE ACCIDENT
514
00:18:45,157 --> 00:18:46,091
OR THE FACT
THAT I WAS
515
00:18:46,191 --> 00:18:48,026
PRETTY HOPPED UP
ON PAINKILLERS.
516
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:49,628
I MEAN, MY BODY
ISN'T USED TO DRUGS
517
00:18:49,728 --> 00:18:53,098
THAT DON'T COME
IN A BROWNIE, YOU KNOW?
518
00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:56,235
WELL, I'M
STARTING TO THINK
519
00:18:56,335 --> 00:18:58,737
THAT MAYBE
I MIGHT HAVE
MADE A MISTAKE.
520
00:18:58,837 --> 00:19:00,906
I MEAN, I LOVE
YOUR DAUGHTER SO MUCH
521
00:19:01,006 --> 00:19:05,944
BUT I JUST--I'M
NOT SURE WE'RE READY.
522
00:19:06,044 --> 00:19:07,746
IF YOU'RE ASKING
MY PERMISSION
523
00:19:07,846 --> 00:19:10,115
TO NOT MARRY
MY DAUGHTER,
524
00:19:10,215 --> 00:19:12,484
THE ANSWER IS "YES."
525
00:19:16,655 --> 00:19:17,890
JOY?
526
00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:19,491
JOY JOY?
527
00:19:20,192 --> 00:19:22,528
DARLING?
528
00:19:22,628 --> 00:19:25,497
GREAT NEWS.
THE WEDDING'S--
529
00:19:25,597 --> 00:19:28,467
IN MY BEDROOM.
530
00:19:28,567 --> 00:19:31,703
LISTEN, I THOUGHT
YOU WERE GOING TO
TALK HER OUT OF IT.
531
00:19:31,803 --> 00:19:33,038
I KNOW.
I WAS GOING TO,
532
00:19:33,138 --> 00:19:34,106
BUT THEN, YOU KNOW,
533
00:19:34,206 --> 00:19:35,707
SHE STARTED TALKING
ABOUT YOU AND ME
534
00:19:35,807 --> 00:19:38,110
AND HOW SHE ADMIRED
OUR RELATIONSHIP
535
00:19:38,210 --> 00:19:39,978
AND HOW CUTE
WE ARE TOGETHER
536
00:19:40,078 --> 00:19:41,613
AND I JUST WANT
TO EAT YOUR NOSE.
537
00:19:41,713 --> 00:19:42,814
WHAT IS WRONG
WITH YOU?
538
00:19:42,915 --> 00:19:43,782
NOTHING.
539
00:19:43,882 --> 00:19:45,083
IT'S JUST
ALLISON REMINDED ME
540
00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:46,752
THAT WE ACTUALLY HAVE
A PRETTY GREAT MARRIAGE
541
00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:49,788
AND, YOU KNOW,
WE'RE HER ROLE MODELS.
542
00:19:49,888 --> 00:19:50,989
WHAT ARE YOU? HIGH?
543
00:19:51,089 --> 00:19:52,090
DID YOU GET
INTO DOUG'S BROWNIES?
544
00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:53,392
WHAT?
COME ON, EDDIE.
545
00:19:53,492 --> 00:19:56,128
I'M HAPPY.
THEY'RE HAPPY.
EVERYBODY'S HAPPY.
546
00:19:56,228 --> 00:19:57,696
WELL, I'M NOT HAPPY
547
00:19:57,796 --> 00:19:59,598
BECAUSE I JUST SPENT
AN HOUR PLAYING
RUB-A-DUB-DOUG
548
00:19:59,698 --> 00:20:01,266
SO YOU COULD PUT
THE KIBOSH ON THIS.
549
00:20:01,366 --> 00:20:04,603
I'M SORRY. I GUESS
I JUST GOT A LITTLE
SWEPT UP IN THE MOMENT.
550
00:20:04,703 --> 00:20:05,771
SWEPT UP IN THE MOMENT?
551
00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:07,472
YOU PRACTICALLY
SET THE DATE.
552
00:20:07,573 --> 00:20:08,674
WELL, ACTUALLY--
553
00:20:08,774 --> 00:20:09,908
BUT--BUT!
554
00:20:10,008 --> 00:20:11,410
PLEASE, LISTEN. IT
DOESN'T MATTER, OK?
555
00:20:11,510 --> 00:20:13,312
BECAUSE DOUG ALREADY
HAS COLD FEET,
556
00:20:13,412 --> 00:20:15,581
AND HE AGREES THAT
THEY'RE TOO YOUNG TO
EVEN DO THIS.
557
00:20:15,681 --> 00:20:18,951
DOUG, TELL HER WHAT
YOU TOLD ME EARLIER.
GO AHEAD.
558
00:20:20,786 --> 00:20:22,654
OH, WOW.
559
00:20:22,754 --> 00:20:24,356
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
560
00:20:24,456 --> 00:20:26,525
I DON'T KNOW
HOW I EVER COULD
HAVE DOUBTED THIS.
561
00:20:26,625 --> 00:20:30,295
YOU'RE THE MOST
BEAUTIFUL THING
I'VE EVER SEEN.
562
00:20:32,764 --> 00:20:33,732
AAH! OOF!
563
00:20:33,832 --> 00:20:35,901
OHH!
564
00:20:36,001 --> 00:20:37,269
OH, I'M HURT.
565
00:20:37,369 --> 00:20:38,704
AWW.
566
00:20:38,804 --> 00:20:43,408
OK, WE GOT $1,500
FOR A NONREFUNDABLE
PLANE TICKET.
567
00:20:43,508 --> 00:20:44,543
YEP.
568
00:20:44,643 --> 00:20:45,944
AND YOU PREPAID
THE ROOM AND BOARD
569
00:20:46,044 --> 00:20:47,279
FOR AN ENTIRE
SEMESTER.
570
00:20:47,379 --> 00:20:49,214
SURE DID.
SAVED US 50 BUCKS.
571
00:20:49,314 --> 00:20:50,515
OK, SO, 50 BUCKS
572
00:20:50,616 --> 00:20:52,718
GOES TOWARDS THE $700
PENALTY I HAD TO PAY
573
00:20:52,818 --> 00:20:56,455
FOR AN UNINSURED
MOTORIST DRIVING MY CAR.
574
00:20:56,555 --> 00:20:59,258
AND THAT LEAVES US
A NET LOSS OF--
575
00:20:59,358 --> 00:21:00,492
2150.
576
00:21:00,592 --> 00:21:01,827
[ADDING MACHINE
RATTLES]
577
00:21:01,927 --> 00:21:03,228
{\an8}2150.
578
00:21:03,328 --> 00:21:04,796
{\an8}OK, THAT MEANS
ALL THE FOOD
IN OUR KITCHEN
579
00:21:04,896 --> 00:21:06,832
{\an8}HAS TO LAST US
FOR ANOTHER--
580
00:21:06,932 --> 00:21:10,569
{\an8}THREE MONTHS.
BUT--BUT--
BUT--BUT.
581
00:21:10,669 --> 00:21:12,638
{\an8}[ADDING MACHINE
RATTLES]
582
00:21:12,738 --> 00:21:13,972
{\an8}THREE MONTHS.
583
00:21:14,072 --> 00:21:15,440
{\an8}OK.
[DOOR OPENS]
584
00:21:15,540 --> 00:21:17,276
{\an8}HEY.
WHOO.
585
00:21:17,376 --> 00:21:18,243
{\an8}HOW'S MY CAR?
586
00:21:18,343 --> 00:21:19,645
{\an8}I'M GONNA LEVEL
WITH YOU, MAN.
587
00:21:19,745 --> 00:21:23,882
{\an8}BAD NEWS IS,
WE CANNOT FIX THAT CAR
FOR 90 BUCKS.
588
00:21:23,982 --> 00:21:25,017
{\an8}GOOD NEWS IS,
MY COUSIN TITO
589
00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:27,152
{\an8}WILL TOW IT AWAY
FOR $120.
590
00:21:27,252 --> 00:21:29,721
{\an8}CAN I GET AN APPLE?
NOT UNTIL MARCH.
591
00:21:29,821 --> 00:21:31,590
{\an8}[ADDING MACHINE
RATTLES]
592
00:21:32,624 --> 00:21:33,925
{\an8}[CHEERING]
43277
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