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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,900 --> 00:00:03,870 ♪ EVERY TIME I ZIG, YOU ZAG ♪ 2 00:00:03,970 --> 00:00:07,207 ♪ I LIKE COFFEE, TEA'S YOUR BAG ♪ 3 00:00:07,307 --> 00:00:09,409 ♪ THOUGH IT MAKES NO SENSE, IT'S TRUE ♪ 4 00:00:09,509 --> 00:00:13,113 ♪ THERE'S NO ME WITHOUT YOU ♪ 5 00:00:13,213 --> 00:00:17,183 {\an8}Brad Garrett: 'TIL DEATH IS FILMED IN FRONT OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE. 6 00:00:18,051 --> 00:00:20,153 {\an8}EDDIE, YOU CAN'T ORDER FOOD, 7 00:00:20,253 --> 00:00:21,421 {\an8}TELL THEM IT'S DISGUSTING, 8 00:00:21,521 --> 00:00:22,956 {\an8}HAVE THEM TAKE IT OFF THE CHECK 9 00:00:23,056 --> 00:00:25,191 {\an8}AND THEN ASK FOR IT TO-GO. 10 00:00:25,291 --> 00:00:29,396 {\an8}I GOT A SWAN FULL OF LASAGNA THAT BEGS TO DIFFER. 11 00:00:30,563 --> 00:00:31,698 {\an8}SURPRISE! 12 00:00:31,798 --> 00:00:32,766 {\an8}[GASPS] ALLISON! 13 00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:34,100 {\an8}OH, MY--ALLY! 14 00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:35,635 {\an8}HEY, HONEY. 15 00:00:35,735 --> 00:00:38,838 {\an8}HEY, SURPRISE. 16 00:00:38,938 --> 00:00:39,839 {\an8}DOUG. 17 00:00:39,939 --> 00:00:41,474 {\an8}I'M SO SORRY I WASN'T HERE 18 00:00:41,574 --> 00:00:42,709 {\an8}TO GREET YOU GUYS PROPERLY. 19 00:00:42,809 --> 00:00:45,111 {\an8}I WAS JUST USING THE FACILITIES. 20 00:00:45,211 --> 00:00:46,980 {\an8}PLEASE TELL ME THAT'S SINK WATER 21 00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:50,350 {\an8}AND LIE TO ME IF IT'S NOT. 22 00:00:50,450 --> 00:00:51,951 {\an8}SO, WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE? 23 00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:52,919 {\an8}MOM, DAD, 24 00:00:53,019 --> 00:00:54,587 {\an8}I HAVE SOME PRETTY EXCITING NEWS. 25 00:00:54,687 --> 00:00:57,791 {\an8}NO BABY, NO BABY, NO BABY, NO BABY. 26 00:00:58,858 --> 00:00:59,859 {\an8}I GOT OFF THE WAIT LIST 27 00:00:59,959 --> 00:01:01,494 {\an8}FOR THE SEMESTER ABROAD PROGRAM. 28 00:01:01,594 --> 00:01:03,196 {\an8}I'M GOING TO PARIS. 29 00:01:03,296 --> 00:01:04,697 {\an8}THAT IS THE BEST NEWS! 30 00:01:04,798 --> 00:01:07,067 {\an8}OH, OH, OK. I DIED FOR A FEW SECONDS. 31 00:01:07,167 --> 00:01:09,102 {\an8}TELL ME WHAT I MISSED? 32 00:01:09,202 --> 00:01:10,270 {\an8}I WOULD LEAVE ON FRIDAY. 33 00:01:10,370 --> 00:01:12,338 {\an8}I JUST--I JUST NEED A CHECK FOR $1,500. 34 00:01:12,439 --> 00:01:13,573 {\an8}WELL, LET'S GO TO MY BANK. 35 00:01:13,673 --> 00:01:15,141 {\an8}YOU CAN HOLD IT UP. 36 00:01:15,241 --> 00:01:16,109 {\an8}WHAT? 37 00:01:16,209 --> 00:01:17,444 {\an8}HONEY, LISTEN. 38 00:01:17,544 --> 00:01:18,645 {\an8}I WOULD LOVE FOR YOU TO GO, BUT YOU CAN'T. 39 00:01:18,745 --> 00:01:19,746 {\an8}DAD, YOU TOLD ME I COULD GO. 40 00:01:19,846 --> 00:01:21,014 {\an8}YEAH, I KNOW, BUT THAT'S 41 00:01:21,114 --> 00:01:22,682 {\an8}WHEN YOU WERE ON THE WAITING LIST. 42 00:01:22,782 --> 00:01:23,950 {\an8}YOU SEE, YOU'RE NO LONGER ON THE WAITING LIST. 43 00:01:24,050 --> 00:01:25,552 {\an8}YOU'RE NOW ON THE TRUTH LIST, 44 00:01:25,652 --> 00:01:27,921 {\an8}AND THE TRUTH IS, DADDY'S OUT OF GREENBACKS. 45 00:01:28,488 --> 00:01:29,656 {\an8}SIR, IF I MAY, 46 00:01:29,756 --> 00:01:30,890 {\an8}I THINK THIS WOULD BE 47 00:01:30,990 --> 00:01:32,225 {\an8}A REALLY GREAT OPPORTUNITY FOR HER. 48 00:01:32,325 --> 00:01:33,493 {\an8}SHE NEEDS TO SEE THE WORLD. 49 00:01:33,593 --> 00:01:34,861 {\an8}THE MUSHROOMS THAT GROW IN MY VAN 50 00:01:34,961 --> 00:01:38,965 {\an8}CAN ONLY EXPAND HER MIND SO MUCH, YOU KNOW? 51 00:01:39,065 --> 00:01:40,233 {\an8}I ACTUALLY THINK 52 00:01:40,333 --> 00:01:41,534 {\an8}THAT THIS IS A REALLY GOOD IDEA, 53 00:01:41,634 --> 00:01:42,969 {\an8}AND I'M GONNA GO GET THE CHECKBOOK. 54 00:01:43,069 --> 00:01:44,971 {\an8}H-HONEY, HAVE YOU SEEN OUR BALANCE LATELY? 55 00:01:45,071 --> 00:01:49,976 {\an8}I MEAN, OUR CHECKBOOK IS BASICALLY JUST SCRAP PAPER WITH PANDAS ON IT. 56 00:01:50,076 --> 00:01:51,211 {\an8}[STAMMERING] 57 00:01:51,311 --> 00:01:52,612 {\an8}WHAT ARE YOU-- WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 58 00:01:52,712 --> 00:01:53,713 {\an8}WE CAN AFFORD THIS. 59 00:01:53,813 --> 00:01:55,748 {\an8}NO, WE CAN-- LISTEN, THE ONLY REASON 60 00:01:55,849 --> 00:01:56,883 {\an8}WE WERE OUT TO DINNER TONIGHT 61 00:01:56,983 --> 00:01:58,585 {\an8}WAS BECAUSE YOU WON A RAFFLE. 62 00:01:58,685 --> 00:02:00,487 {\an8}OK, DO YOU LIKE THAT COUPLE OUT THERE? 63 00:02:00,587 --> 00:02:03,189 {\an8}DO YOU WANT TO LOOK AT THAT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE? 64 00:02:03,289 --> 00:02:04,924 {\an5}NO. THEN SHE'S GOING ON THE TRIP. 65 00:02:05,024 --> 00:02:06,192 WELL, LOOK. 66 00:02:06,292 --> 00:02:07,861 WHAT--WHAT DIFFERENCE IS IT GONNA MAKE ANYWAY? 67 00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:09,229 THEY'RE ONLY GONNA BE APART 6 MONTHS. 68 00:02:09,329 --> 00:02:12,565 OH! YOU ARE SO NAIVE. 69 00:02:12,665 --> 00:02:14,434 WHEN A YOUNG WOMAN GOES TO EUROPE, 70 00:02:14,534 --> 00:02:15,768 DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS? 71 00:02:15,869 --> 00:02:16,803 NO, I REALLY DON'T. 72 00:02:16,903 --> 00:02:18,304 BUT WHY DON'T WE JUST SAVE $1,500 73 00:02:18,404 --> 00:02:21,374 AND JUST RENT SISTERHOOD OF THE TRAVELING PANTS? 74 00:02:24,544 --> 00:02:25,512 SHE GOES TO EUROPE. 75 00:02:25,612 --> 00:02:26,813 SHE MEETS EUROPEAN GUYS, 76 00:02:26,913 --> 00:02:28,748 AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT EUROPEAN GUYS DO? 77 00:02:28,848 --> 00:02:31,384 THINGS THAT MAKE YOU FORGET ABOUT YOUR LAME HOMETOWN BOYFRIEND 78 00:02:31,484 --> 00:02:33,786 AND HIS VAN FULL OF MAGICAL MUSHROOMS. 79 00:02:33,887 --> 00:02:35,155 OH, PLEASE. 80 00:02:35,255 --> 00:02:36,623 BELIEVE ME. 81 00:02:36,723 --> 00:02:38,158 SOPHOMORE YEAR, I DID A SEMESTER IN MADRID. 82 00:02:38,258 --> 00:02:40,360 I DON'T THINK I HAD MY TOP ON ONCE. 83 00:02:40,460 --> 00:02:41,628 I MEAN, I STEPPED OFF THE PLANE 84 00:02:41,728 --> 00:02:45,532 AND IT WAS GUY AFTER GUY AFTER GUY. 85 00:02:45,632 --> 00:02:46,699 ALL RIGHT. OK, WE GET IT. 86 00:02:46,799 --> 00:02:49,802 J-JUST BRING IT DOWN A NOTCH. 87 00:02:49,903 --> 00:02:52,772 OH, I WANT TO GO BACK THERE. 88 00:02:52,872 --> 00:02:53,873 WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? 89 00:02:53,973 --> 00:02:55,408 I--I THINK YOU ENDED UP PRETTY HAPPY 90 00:02:55,508 --> 00:02:56,910 WITH YOUR GUY BACK HOME. 91 00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:59,679 WELL, IT IS WHAT IT IS. 92 00:02:59,779 --> 00:03:01,014 COME ON. LISTEN. WE'RE DOING THIS. 93 00:03:01,114 --> 00:03:02,315 WHOA. NO, WE ARE NOT DOING IT. 94 00:03:02,415 --> 00:03:03,416 IT IS WAY TOO EXPENSIVE 95 00:03:03,516 --> 00:03:05,185 AND WE CAN'T AFFORD IT. 96 00:03:05,285 --> 00:03:06,586 END OF CONVERSATION. 97 00:03:06,686 --> 00:03:08,555 THE HEAD OF THE HOUSEHOLD HAS SPOKEN. 98 00:03:09,389 --> 00:03:10,723 YOU KNOW, 99 00:03:10,823 --> 00:03:12,825 PART OF ME IS GLAD YOUR DAD WON'T LET YOU GO. 100 00:03:12,926 --> 00:03:14,260 'CAUSE THEN IT'LL GIVE US 101 00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:16,896 ALL KINDS OF TIME TO JUST BE 102 00:03:16,996 --> 00:03:17,997 AND DO 103 00:03:18,097 --> 00:03:19,799 AND FEEL. 104 00:03:19,899 --> 00:03:21,000 [SNAPS FINGERS] 105 00:03:21,100 --> 00:03:22,869 GIVE ME THE PANDAS. 106 00:03:27,941 --> 00:03:29,042 Joy: WHERE IS DOUG? 107 00:03:29,142 --> 00:03:30,143 YOU ARE GOING TO MISS YOUR FLIGHT. 108 00:03:30,243 --> 00:03:31,211 HE'LL BE HERE. 109 00:03:31,311 --> 00:03:32,345 HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT, HONEY? 110 00:03:32,445 --> 00:03:33,813 WHY DON'T WE TAKE YOU, HUH? 111 00:03:33,913 --> 00:03:36,649 YEAH, DAD. THAT'S A REAL ROMANTIC EUROPEAN SEND-OFF. 112 00:03:36,749 --> 00:03:38,785 YOU LOADING ME DOWN WITH HANDIWIPES 113 00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:41,287 TO MOP THE GERMS OFF MY TRAY TABLE. 114 00:03:41,387 --> 00:03:43,223 EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT AIRPLANES ARE 115 00:03:43,323 --> 00:03:46,292 JUST FLYING TUBES OF DISEASE. 116 00:03:46,392 --> 00:03:47,360 HERE HE IS. 117 00:03:47,460 --> 00:03:49,495 I'M SO SORRY I'M LATE. 118 00:03:49,596 --> 00:03:50,496 OHH! 119 00:03:50,597 --> 00:03:51,798 FOR MY FAIR MAIDEN. 120 00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:52,799 WHAT ARE THESE? 121 00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:54,534 WELL, I WAS A LITTLE NERVOUS 122 00:03:54,634 --> 00:03:55,501 ABOUT YOU TRAVELING, 123 00:03:55,602 --> 00:03:56,736 SO, I STOPPED BY A CREEK 124 00:03:56,836 --> 00:03:58,438 AND GATHERED SOME PEBBLES WITH GOOD ENERGY 125 00:03:58,538 --> 00:04:00,607 TO KEEP IN YOUR PURSE. 126 00:04:02,108 --> 00:04:04,811 HOLY MOTHER OF GAYNESS. 127 00:04:06,879 --> 00:04:09,182 UNFORTUNATELY, WHEN I GOT BACK TO THE VAN, 128 00:04:09,282 --> 00:04:10,283 I REALIZED THAT THE ENGINE 129 00:04:10,383 --> 00:04:11,618 HAD DROPPED OUT THROUGH THE FLOOR, 130 00:04:11,718 --> 00:04:13,953 SO I HAD TO RUN THE REST OF THE WAY. 131 00:04:14,053 --> 00:04:16,456 BUT, LUCKILY, I FOUND THIS RUNNING TWIG 132 00:04:16,556 --> 00:04:19,325 AND IT TOTALLY TRIPLED MY SPEED. 133 00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:22,161 RUNNING TWIG? REALLY? 134 00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:25,732 WE'RE ALL JUST GONNA LET THAT ONE GO? 135 00:04:25,832 --> 00:04:27,867 ALL RIGHT. YOU KNOW WHAT? WE'RE GONNA TAKE YOU. 136 00:04:27,967 --> 00:04:29,869 DADDY, I TOLD YOU. I JUST WANT TO GO WITH DOUG. 137 00:04:29,969 --> 00:04:31,271 OK. HERE. TAKE YOUR FATHER'S CAR. 138 00:04:31,371 --> 00:04:32,572 WH-WHY MY CAR? 139 00:04:32,672 --> 00:04:33,740 WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOUR CAR? 140 00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:35,508 MY CAR IS DOWNTOWN WITH A BOOT ON IT. 141 00:04:35,608 --> 00:04:37,310 WHAT? 142 00:04:37,410 --> 00:04:38,478 YEAH, I GOT A BUNCH OF PARKING TICKETS. 143 00:04:38,578 --> 00:04:39,879 I DIDN'T PAY 'EM. I GOT SUBPEONAED 144 00:04:39,979 --> 00:04:41,047 AND THERE'S A WARRANT OUT FOR MY-- 145 00:04:41,147 --> 00:04:42,081 OH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. 146 00:04:42,181 --> 00:04:43,116 ANYWAY, TAKE HIS CAR. 147 00:04:43,216 --> 00:04:44,284 OK, WAIT--WAIT. HOLD IT. 148 00:04:44,384 --> 00:04:45,418 IF YOU'RE GONNA TAKE MY CAR, 149 00:04:45,518 --> 00:04:46,486 YOU GOTTA TAKE MY SHORTCUT. 150 00:04:46,586 --> 00:04:48,021 NO, EDDIE. NOT THE SHORTCUT. 151 00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:50,390 THAT WOMAN HAS NEVER MISSED A PLANE IN 20 YEARS 152 00:04:50,490 --> 00:04:51,691 BECAUSE OF MY SHORTCUT. 153 00:04:51,791 --> 00:04:53,326 OK, NOW, THIS IS WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO. 154 00:04:53,426 --> 00:04:54,761 YOU'RE GONNA HOP ON THE 411, 155 00:04:54,861 --> 00:04:56,195 THEN YOU TAKE THE TURNPIKE. 156 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,831 YOU GET OFF THE EXIT 59B. THAT'S 5-9er BRAVO. 157 00:04:58,931 --> 00:05:02,268 IT'S GONNA BE A QUICK RIGHT, QUICK RIGHT, CRAZY QUICK LEFT. 158 00:05:02,368 --> 00:05:04,771 THEN YOU'RE GONNA END UP AT, LIKE, THIS REFINERY, OK? 159 00:05:04,871 --> 00:05:05,972 THERE'S GONNA BE A GATE. 160 00:05:06,072 --> 00:05:07,807 YOU CAN ASK FOR A GUY NAMED FRANK. 161 00:05:07,907 --> 00:05:09,509 YOU'RE GONNA MENTION MY NAME. HE'S GONNA LET YOU THROUGH. 162 00:05:09,609 --> 00:05:11,210 THERE'S GONNA BE A DIRT ROAD. 163 00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:14,781 YOU'RE GONNA TAKE IT 10 MILES ALL THE WAY TO THE TARMAC. 164 00:05:14,881 --> 00:05:19,519 OK, SO, IS THAT A RIGHT OR A LEFT OUT OF THE DRIVEWAY? 165 00:05:23,956 --> 00:05:23,990 {\an8}UR 166 00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:24,090 {\an8}URE 167 00:05:24,090 --> 00:05:24,123 {\an8}URE WI 168 00:05:24,123 --> 00:05:24,157 {\an8}URE WITH 169 00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:24,190 {\an8}URE WITHOU 170 00:05:24,190 --> 00:05:24,223 {\an8}URE WITHOUT 171 00:05:24,223 --> 00:05:24,257 {\an8}URE WITHOUT DO 172 00:05:24,257 --> 00:05:24,290 {\an8}URE WITHOUT DOUG 173 00:05:24,290 --> 00:05:24,324 {\an8}URE WITHOUT DOUG I 174 00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:24,357 {\an8}URE WITHOUT DOUG IN 175 00:05:24,357 --> 00:05:24,390 {\an8}URE WITHOUT DOUG IN IT 176 00:05:24,390 --> 00:05:24,424 {\an8}URE WITHOUT DOUG IN IT. 177 00:05:26,693 --> 00:05:27,660 MMM. AMEN. 178 00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:28,928 OOH. MM-HMM. 179 00:05:29,028 --> 00:05:30,430 YOU KNOW, I ALWAYS USED TO HAVE THIS NIGHTMARE 180 00:05:30,530 --> 00:05:32,865 WHERE THEY GOT MARRIED AND THEN THEIR LITTLE KIDS 181 00:05:32,965 --> 00:05:33,933 ENDED UP RUNNING AROUND 182 00:05:34,033 --> 00:05:35,802 IN SCRAGGLY BEARDS AND FLIP-FLOPS 183 00:05:35,902 --> 00:05:38,137 CALLING ME GRANDDUDE. 184 00:05:38,237 --> 00:05:39,505 [TELEPHONE RINGS] 185 00:05:39,605 --> 00:05:41,040 MMM. HMM? 186 00:05:41,140 --> 00:05:43,910 THAT'S HER. I TOLD HER TO CALL BEFORE SHE TOOK OFF. 187 00:05:44,677 --> 00:05:45,578 HELLO? 188 00:05:45,678 --> 00:05:46,979 HEY, MAMA. 189 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:48,247 HI, SWEETIE! 190 00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:49,549 HI! I JUST WANTED TO CALL 191 00:05:49,649 --> 00:05:51,351 AND SAY THANK YOU AGAIN FOR LETTING ME GO. 192 00:05:51,451 --> 00:05:53,353 OH, IT'S OUR PLEASURE, BABE. 193 00:05:53,453 --> 00:05:55,488 ASK HER IF SHE WIPED DOWN THE TRAY TABLE. 194 00:05:55,588 --> 00:05:56,422 SHH! 195 00:05:56,522 --> 00:05:57,490 AND ALSO THE ARM REST. 196 00:05:57,590 --> 00:05:58,825 HONEY, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES 197 00:05:58,925 --> 00:06:01,027 DO YOU PUT THOSE COMPLIMENTARY EARBUDS 198 00:06:01,127 --> 00:06:02,462 INTO YOUR HEAD. 199 00:06:02,562 --> 00:06:04,897 THEY'RE NOT EVEN ON THE PLANE YET, EDDIE. 200 00:06:04,997 --> 00:06:07,266 OH, HOLD ON ONE SECOND, MAMA. 201 00:06:09,969 --> 00:06:11,738 OH! YOU HAVE 16A. 202 00:06:11,838 --> 00:06:12,772 I AM 16B. 203 00:06:12,872 --> 00:06:13,840 WHO--WHO IS THAT, SWEETIE? 204 00:06:13,940 --> 00:06:15,541 WHAT'S GOING ON? WHAT'S GOING ON? 205 00:06:15,641 --> 00:06:18,044 I'M JUST TALKING TO THE GUY WHO'S SITTING NEXT TO ME. 206 00:06:18,144 --> 00:06:19,512 SHE'S TALKING TO THE GUY NEXT-- 207 00:06:19,612 --> 00:06:21,247 HE'S FRENCH. HE SOUNDS HOT. 208 00:06:21,347 --> 00:06:22,315 WHAT DOES HE DO? 209 00:06:22,415 --> 00:06:23,282 [STAMMERS] 210 00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:24,951 ALLY, WHAT DOES HE DO? 211 00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:27,653 I--MOM, HE JUST PULLED A MAGAZINE OUT OF HIS BAG. 212 00:06:27,754 --> 00:06:29,989 HE JUST PULLED A MAGAZINE OUT OF HIS BAG. 213 00:06:30,089 --> 00:06:31,324 HAVE HER SMELL THE BAG. 214 00:06:31,424 --> 00:06:32,525 SEE IF IT'S REAL LEATHER. 215 00:06:32,625 --> 00:06:33,760 I'M TELLING-- STOP IT. 216 00:06:33,860 --> 00:06:35,228 OK, MAMA? I GOTTA GO. 217 00:06:35,328 --> 00:06:36,295 MY FLIGHT IS BOARDING. 218 00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:37,663 I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH. 219 00:06:37,764 --> 00:06:39,332 OK, BABY. WELL, WE LOVE YOU, TOO. 220 00:06:39,432 --> 00:06:40,833 LOVE YOU, ANGEL. 221 00:06:40,933 --> 00:06:42,602 HAVE A GREAT FLIGHT. BE SAFE. OK. BYE. BYE. 222 00:06:42,702 --> 00:06:43,636 MWAH! 223 00:06:43,736 --> 00:06:44,737 [LAUGHING] 224 00:06:44,837 --> 00:06:46,472 ♪ SHE'S GOT A BOYFRIEND ♪ 225 00:06:46,572 --> 00:06:48,708 ♪ AND HE'S FROM FRANCE ♪ 226 00:06:48,808 --> 00:06:49,675 HA HA HA! 227 00:06:49,776 --> 00:06:50,810 [TELEPHONE RINGS] 228 00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:52,078 OH, SHE'S PROBABLY CALLING BACK 229 00:06:52,178 --> 00:06:53,446 TO TELL US THAT SHE IS IN LOVE. 230 00:06:53,546 --> 00:06:54,747 I WANT TO TALK THIS TIME. 231 00:06:54,847 --> 00:06:56,983 NO. NO. BONJOUR. 232 00:06:58,384 --> 00:06:59,552 WHAT? 233 00:06:59,652 --> 00:07:00,720 WE FOUND HIM IN HIS CAR, 234 00:07:00,820 --> 00:07:02,989 UPSIDE DOWN ON A DIRT ROAD, 235 00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:06,092 CLUTCHING A TWIG. 236 00:07:08,795 --> 00:07:09,862 HE, UH, HE SHOULD BE ALL RIGHT, 237 00:07:09,962 --> 00:07:11,130 BUT HE GOT BANGED UP PRETTY GOOD. 238 00:07:11,230 --> 00:07:13,399 ARE YOU RELATED TO THE PATIENT? 239 00:07:13,499 --> 00:07:17,970 OH, OUR DAUGHTER'S ABOUT TO BREAK UP WITH HIM. 240 00:07:18,070 --> 00:07:20,440 WELL, THAT SHOULD REALLY LIFT HIS SPIRITS. 241 00:07:20,540 --> 00:07:21,474 ALL RIGHT. 242 00:07:21,574 --> 00:07:22,842 I'LL GIVE YOU GUYS A MINUTE. 243 00:07:22,942 --> 00:07:24,410 OK. 244 00:07:29,916 --> 00:07:31,117 DOUG. 245 00:07:31,217 --> 00:07:32,652 DOUG. HUH? 246 00:07:32,752 --> 00:07:34,654 HOW'S MY CAR? 247 00:07:34,754 --> 00:07:36,823 EDDIE! 248 00:07:36,923 --> 00:07:38,958 SHH. 249 00:07:39,058 --> 00:07:40,126 ARE--ARE YOU OK, DOUG? 250 00:07:40,226 --> 00:07:42,295 TELL US WHAT HAPPENED. 251 00:07:42,395 --> 00:07:43,329 [SIGHS] 252 00:07:43,429 --> 00:07:44,931 WELL, WHEN I WAS TAKING YOUR SHORTCUT 253 00:07:45,031 --> 00:07:46,399 BACK FROM THE AIRPORT, 254 00:07:46,499 --> 00:07:48,701 I WAS PRETTY EMOTIONAL FROM SAYING GOOD-BYE TO ALLISON. 255 00:07:48,801 --> 00:07:51,838 AND I WAS CRANKING YOUR NEIL DIAMOND CD, 256 00:07:51,938 --> 00:07:53,840 AND MIDWAY THROUGH FOREVER IN BLUE JEANS, 257 00:07:53,940 --> 00:07:59,745 I HIT A POTHOLE AND I JUST FLIPPED THE BITCH. 258 00:07:59,846 --> 00:08:01,080 I--I TRIED TO CALL ALLISON, 259 00:08:01,180 --> 00:08:02,815 BUT IT WENT STRAIGHT TO HER VOICE MAIL. 260 00:08:02,915 --> 00:08:04,917 SHE'S PROBABLY IN THE AIR ALREADY. 261 00:08:05,017 --> 00:08:06,219 YOU KNOW, LIKE THEY SAY. 262 00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:09,155 C'EST LA VIE. SOUP DU JOUR. 263 00:08:10,356 --> 00:08:11,691 I COULDN'T CALL MY PARENTS. 264 00:08:11,791 --> 00:08:14,093 WE'RE NOT EVEN ON SPEAKING TERMS. 265 00:08:14,193 --> 00:08:15,161 SO, YOU GUYS WERE THE ONLY ONES 266 00:08:15,261 --> 00:08:16,629 I COULD THINK OF TO REACH OUT TO. 267 00:08:16,729 --> 00:08:20,266 WELL, WE'RE GLAD THAT YOU DID, DOUG. 268 00:08:20,366 --> 00:08:23,369 OK, WE'RE GONNA HIT IT. 269 00:08:23,469 --> 00:08:25,371 OH, MY GOD, DOUG. 270 00:08:25,471 --> 00:08:27,306 HONEY, WHAT ARE YOU? 271 00:08:27,406 --> 00:08:28,307 OHH! OH. 272 00:08:28,407 --> 00:08:30,009 BABY. OH, OW. 273 00:08:30,109 --> 00:08:31,310 OW. OHH! 274 00:08:31,410 --> 00:08:33,546 MY CATHETER. OH. 275 00:08:33,646 --> 00:08:35,615 OH. 276 00:08:35,715 --> 00:08:37,183 [INDISTINCT] 277 00:08:37,283 --> 00:08:38,618 I THOUGHT YOU LEFT? 278 00:08:38,718 --> 00:08:40,319 MY PLANE WAS DELAYED, 279 00:08:40,419 --> 00:08:42,154 SO I TURNED ON MY PHONE AND I GOT YOUR MESSAGE. 280 00:08:42,255 --> 00:08:44,156 GOD, I CAN'T BELIEVE I ALMOST LOST YOU. 281 00:08:44,257 --> 00:08:45,191 I MISSED YOU SO MUCH. 282 00:08:45,291 --> 00:08:46,292 OH, I MISSED YOU MORE. 283 00:08:46,392 --> 00:08:47,860 I NEVER WANT TO BE WITHOUT YOU AGAIN. 284 00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:49,629 I NEVER WANT TO BE WITHOUT YOU AGAIN. 285 00:08:49,729 --> 00:08:50,630 DON'T GO TO PARIS. 286 00:08:50,730 --> 00:08:52,265 OK. WILL YOU MARRY ME? 287 00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:54,834 TOTALLY. 288 00:08:59,639 --> 00:09:01,507 BABY, YOU OK? 289 00:09:02,108 --> 00:09:04,210 NOT TOTALLY. 290 00:09:08,814 --> 00:09:10,716 OH, THIS IS SO ROMANTIC. 291 00:09:10,816 --> 00:09:15,054 OUR FIRST TIME IN THE HOUSE AS FIANCEE AND... 292 00:09:15,154 --> 00:09:16,989 GUY WHO FIANCEED ME. 293 00:09:17,089 --> 00:09:19,625 IT'S--IT'S ALMOST AS IF THE UNIVERSE 294 00:09:19,725 --> 00:09:23,029 HAD A MASTER PLAN FOR US TO BE TOGETHER. 295 00:09:24,063 --> 00:09:25,765 YES. GOD HAS CERTAINLY MADE 296 00:09:25,865 --> 00:09:29,068 HIS FEELINGS TOWARDS US VERY CLEAR. 297 00:09:31,704 --> 00:09:34,707 MAY I GET A GLASS OF WATER FOR MY FIANCE? 298 00:09:34,807 --> 00:09:36,108 YOUR FIANCE WOULD LOVE THAT. 299 00:09:36,208 --> 00:09:38,344 I'LL BE RIGHT BACK, FIANCE. 300 00:09:38,444 --> 00:09:39,712 I'LL MISS YOU, FIANCEE. 301 00:09:39,812 --> 00:09:40,846 JUST... 302 00:09:40,947 --> 00:09:43,049 GO GET HIM THE WATER. 303 00:09:44,483 --> 00:09:45,318 HEH. 304 00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:46,619 MR. AND MRS. STARK-- 305 00:09:46,719 --> 00:09:49,055 WAIT, WHAT AM I SAYING? 306 00:09:49,155 --> 00:09:51,624 MOM, DAD. 307 00:09:53,225 --> 00:09:54,293 I JUST WANT TO THANK YOU GUYS 308 00:09:54,393 --> 00:09:56,128 FOR EVERYTHING THAT YOU'RE DOING. 309 00:09:56,228 --> 00:09:58,598 WELL, IT'S A PLEASURE, DOUG. 310 00:09:58,698 --> 00:10:00,700 SO, DOUG, HOW ABOUT WE GET A HOT MEAL IN YOU 311 00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:03,502 AND GET YOU TO A MOTEL WITH A RAMP? 312 00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:06,138 DAD, THE DOCTOR SAID IT WAS GOING TO BE 6 WEEKS 313 00:10:06,238 --> 00:10:08,908 BEFORE THEY CAN EVEN TAKE THE SCREWS OUT OF HIS BODY. 314 00:10:09,008 --> 00:10:11,944 WELL, ACTUALLY, THEN THEY HAVE TO REFRACTURE ME 315 00:10:12,044 --> 00:10:13,613 AND EVEN OUT MY LEGS. 316 00:10:13,713 --> 00:10:16,649 YOU ARE GONNA STAY RIGHT HERE ON THIS COUCH 317 00:10:16,749 --> 00:10:18,284 UNTIL YOU GET OUT OF THOSE CASTS 318 00:10:18,384 --> 00:10:19,952 AND YOU'RE BACK ON YOUR FEET. 319 00:10:20,052 --> 00:10:22,688 I'M GONNA GO GRAB MOM'S RUBBER SPATULA 320 00:10:22,788 --> 00:10:25,424 TO WORK YOUR ITCHY PARTS. 321 00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:29,562 BOY, THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS BEING SAID 322 00:10:29,662 --> 00:10:32,298 THAT I DON'T WANT TO HEAR. 323 00:10:32,398 --> 00:10:33,566 ALL RIGHT. I THINK I'M GONNA GO UP 324 00:10:33,666 --> 00:10:35,968 AND GET DOUG A PAIR OF YOUR PAJAMAS. 325 00:10:36,068 --> 00:10:38,838 AND WE HAVE A WINNER. 326 00:10:40,539 --> 00:10:41,841 HEY, I HEARD ABOUT THE ACCIDENT. 327 00:10:41,941 --> 00:10:44,577 WANTED TO COME BY AND MAKE SURE EVERYONE WAS OK. 328 00:10:44,677 --> 00:10:46,012 HOW YOU DOING, MAN? 329 00:10:46,112 --> 00:10:47,246 WELL, I'M IN A LOT OF PAIN AND-- 330 00:10:47,346 --> 00:10:49,248 COOL. LISTEN, EDDIE. 331 00:10:49,348 --> 00:10:50,883 DO NOT TAKE YOUR CAR TO A BODY SHOP. 332 00:10:50,983 --> 00:10:52,251 MY COUSIN JIMMY IS A MECHANIC. 333 00:10:52,351 --> 00:10:53,653 HE'LL HOOK YOU UP. 334 00:10:53,753 --> 00:10:55,287 HE'LL FIX YOUR WHOLE CAR FOR, LIKE, 90 BUCKS. 335 00:10:55,388 --> 00:10:56,656 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 336 00:10:56,756 --> 00:10:58,024 OH, YEAH. HE FIXES DENTS. 337 00:10:58,124 --> 00:10:59,692 HE'LL POP THAT THING RIGHT ON OUT. 338 00:10:59,792 --> 00:11:03,329 KENNY--KENNY, MY WHOLE FRONT END IS CAVED IN. 339 00:11:03,429 --> 00:11:04,430 I'M TELLING YOU, MAN, 340 00:11:04,530 --> 00:11:06,799 THE MAN WILL POP IT OUT. 341 00:11:06,899 --> 00:11:10,202 ALL RIGHT. WHO DO I MAKE THE CHECK OUT TO? 342 00:11:10,302 --> 00:11:13,339 MAKE IT OUT TO PAM'S CUPCAKES. 343 00:11:19,111 --> 00:11:20,713 GREAT PLAN, JOY. 344 00:11:20,813 --> 00:11:21,747 GOOD JOB. 345 00:11:21,847 --> 00:11:22,948 LET'S SEND HER ON A TRIP 346 00:11:23,049 --> 00:11:24,884 SO SHE CAN SLEEP HER WAY AROUND EUROPE 347 00:11:24,984 --> 00:11:26,185 THE WAY MAMA DID. 348 00:11:26,285 --> 00:11:28,220 I THOUGHT IT WOULD BREAK THEM UP. 349 00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:30,089 IT GOT THEM ENGAGED. 350 00:11:30,189 --> 00:11:32,291 [SPITS] YOU KNOW, NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED 351 00:11:32,391 --> 00:11:34,160 IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOUR STUPID SHORTCUT. 352 00:11:34,260 --> 00:11:36,262 HEY, MY SHORTCUT GOT HER TO THE PLANE ON TIME. 353 00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:39,832 WHAT IDIOT TAKES A SHORTCUT ON THE WAY HOME? 354 00:11:39,932 --> 00:11:41,801 ALL RIGHT. YOU KNOW WHAT? 355 00:11:41,901 --> 00:11:44,470 [SPITS] IF YOU KNOW A SHORTER WAY, 356 00:11:44,570 --> 00:11:49,108 WHY WOULDN'T YOU TAKE IT BOTH WAYS, ASS? 357 00:11:50,109 --> 00:11:51,043 BECAUSE, 358 00:11:51,143 --> 00:11:53,446 MRS. ASS ASSERSON, 359 00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:56,849 YOU TAKE A SHORTCUT WHEN YOU WANT TO GET TO SOME PLACE FASTER. 360 00:11:56,949 --> 00:12:00,019 IF EVERYBODY TOOK A SHORTCUT AT THE SAME TIME, 361 00:12:00,119 --> 00:12:01,087 WHAT WOULD IT BE? 362 00:12:01,187 --> 00:12:04,156 CLOGGED. USE YOUR HEAD, WOMAN. 363 00:12:04,256 --> 00:12:07,026 WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A SMALL SHORTCUT TO HELL? 364 00:12:07,126 --> 00:12:08,794 OOH. 365 00:12:08,894 --> 00:12:13,466 IS THAT THE POTTY MOUTH YOU USED WHEN YOU WERE TURNING TRICKS IN SPAIN? 366 00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:16,635 OK, EVERYBODY JUST CALM DOWN, ALL RIGHT? 367 00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:18,170 WE ARE TURNING ON EACH OTHER 368 00:12:18,270 --> 00:12:20,740 AND WE HAVE A VERY LARGE PROBLEM DOWNSTAIRS 369 00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:24,210 AND WE NEED TO WORK TOGETHER AND FIX THIS. 370 00:12:24,310 --> 00:12:25,311 YOU'RE RIGHT. OOH. 371 00:12:25,411 --> 00:12:26,479 WE HAVE TO COME UP WITH A WAY 372 00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:27,780 WHERE ALLISON UNDERSTANDS 373 00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:31,183 THAT THIS ENGAGEMENT IS A BIG MISTAKE. 374 00:12:31,283 --> 00:12:32,251 SHE IS 21 YEARS OLD. 375 00:12:32,351 --> 00:12:34,320 THIS IS ABSOLUTELY CRAZY. 376 00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:37,423 WE JUST HAVE TO MAKE HER REALIZE THAT. 377 00:12:37,523 --> 00:12:39,859 HOW ARE WE GOING TO DO THAT? 378 00:12:43,462 --> 00:12:45,264 I--I GOT IT. OK. HERE. 379 00:12:45,364 --> 00:12:46,565 WE GOT MARRIED YOUNG. 380 00:12:46,665 --> 00:12:47,600 REALLY YOUNG. 381 00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:49,101 WAY TOO YOUNG. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 382 00:12:49,201 --> 00:12:50,669 HEH. LOOK HOW THIS TURNED OUT. 383 00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:52,271 IT'S AWFUL. 384 00:12:52,371 --> 00:12:54,573 IT'S A DISASTER. IT'S A TRAINWRECK. 385 00:12:54,673 --> 00:12:57,510 I MEAN, LOOK. WE HAVE NO MONEY. WE HAVE DEAD-END JOBS, 386 00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:59,078 NO PLANS FOR THE FUTURE. 387 00:12:59,178 --> 00:13:01,413 HEY, THE ONLY GOOD THING TO SHOW FOR OUR MARRIAGE 388 00:13:01,514 --> 00:13:05,017 IS DOWNSTAIRS ITCHING A CRIPPLE'S BUSINESS WITH YOUR FLATWARE. 389 00:13:08,354 --> 00:13:10,256 SO, WE'LL TELL ALLISON 390 00:13:10,356 --> 00:13:11,891 IF SHE GETS MARRIED THIS YOUNG, 391 00:13:11,991 --> 00:13:14,226 SHE'S GONNA TURN OUT JUST LIKE US. 392 00:13:14,326 --> 00:13:15,528 THAT'LL SCARE THE HELL OUT OF HER. 393 00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:16,629 THAT'S PERFECT. 394 00:13:16,729 --> 00:13:17,763 LET'S GO DOWN THERE RIGHT NOW. 395 00:13:17,863 --> 00:13:19,198 NO, NO, NO. WE CAN'T GO RIGHT NOW. 396 00:13:19,298 --> 00:13:20,366 NOT IN FRONT OF DOUG. 397 00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:21,834 TOMORROW, I WILL GET HER ALONE 398 00:13:21,934 --> 00:13:23,302 AND I WILL TAKE CARE OF THIS. 399 00:13:23,402 --> 00:13:25,204 OH--OH, OK. OK. WE'LL DO IT THAT WAY. 400 00:13:25,304 --> 00:13:28,574 I MEAN, WHO BETTER TO SHOW HER HOW BAD MARRIAGE IS THAN US? 401 00:13:28,674 --> 00:13:29,608 I LOVE YOU. 402 00:13:29,708 --> 00:13:30,676 I LOVE YOU, TOO. 403 00:13:30,776 --> 00:13:31,911 YOU WANNA HAVE SEX? 404 00:13:32,011 --> 00:13:34,446 NO. ME NEITHER. 405 00:13:38,884 --> 00:13:40,719 [MOTOR WHIRRING] 406 00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:41,854 Kenny: WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 407 00:13:41,954 --> 00:13:43,088 I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA POP IT OUT? 408 00:13:43,189 --> 00:13:44,390 Man: I CAN'T POP IT OUT. 409 00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:46,258 I GAVE THE MAN MY WORD THAT YOU WOULD POP IT OUT. 410 00:13:46,358 --> 00:13:48,527 SOME THINGS ARE NOT POPPABLE. 411 00:13:48,627 --> 00:13:50,629 POP IT! YOU POP IT. I QUIT. 412 00:13:50,729 --> 00:13:52,765 GOOD! 413 00:13:53,866 --> 00:13:55,701 HOW'S IT GOING OVER THERE? 414 00:13:55,801 --> 00:13:57,636 OH, GOOD, GOOD, GOOD. 415 00:13:57,736 --> 00:13:58,671 JUST TAKING A 5. 416 00:13:58,771 --> 00:14:00,139 PUT ON YOUR DRIVING GLOVES. 417 00:14:00,239 --> 00:14:03,075 REAL SOON. VROOM, VROOM, VROOM! 418 00:14:07,413 --> 00:14:10,115 HEY. 419 00:14:10,216 --> 00:14:11,584 HOW'S IT GOING, GUYS? 420 00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:12,885 PRETTY GOOD. 421 00:14:12,985 --> 00:14:16,589 I'M JUST RETEACHING MY MOUTH HOW TO CHEW. 422 00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:19,158 GUESS WHO'S UP TO PUDDING? 423 00:14:19,258 --> 00:14:22,494 YOU KEEP WORKING THE MIRACLES, KIDS. 424 00:14:25,297 --> 00:14:26,298 ALL RIGHT. WELL? 425 00:14:26,398 --> 00:14:28,067 SO, DID YOU TALK TO ALLISON? 426 00:14:28,167 --> 00:14:30,102 NO, I HAVEN'T HAD A CHANCE TO GET HER ALONE. 427 00:14:30,202 --> 00:14:31,337 EVER SINCE THE ENGAGEMENT, 428 00:14:31,437 --> 00:14:33,239 THOSE TWO ARE JOINED AT THE SHATTERED HIP. 429 00:14:33,339 --> 00:14:38,277 Allison: OK, GUESS WHO'S READY FOR THEIR SPONGE BATH? 430 00:14:38,377 --> 00:14:39,578 COME HERE. WHAT? 431 00:14:39,678 --> 00:14:40,913 AHEM. HEY, ALLISON. 432 00:14:41,013 --> 00:14:42,815 I THINK THAT MAYBE YOU'VE DONE ENOUGH FOR TODAY. 433 00:14:42,915 --> 00:14:46,785 WHY DON'T YOU LET YOUR--YOUR DAD TAKE CARE OF THIS ONE? 434 00:14:50,256 --> 00:14:52,324 TAKE CARE OF WHAT ONE? 435 00:14:52,424 --> 00:14:56,495 YOU KNOW, GIVING DOUG HIS SPONGE BATH. 436 00:15:00,366 --> 00:15:02,234 WHAT THE HELL? 437 00:15:06,872 --> 00:15:08,307 COME ON. 438 00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:10,609 YOU KNOW, I THINK THAT IT WILL GIVE ME A CHANCE 439 00:15:10,709 --> 00:15:12,077 TO HAVE SOME ALONE TIME WITH ALLISON 440 00:15:12,177 --> 00:15:14,613 AND--AND ALSO AN OPPORTUNITY FOR YOU 441 00:15:14,713 --> 00:15:19,084 TO DO SOME FATHER-IN-LAW, SON-IN-LAW BONDING. 442 00:15:19,184 --> 00:15:23,055 OH, WHY DO WE HAVE TO JUMP RIGHT TO SPONGE BATH? 443 00:15:23,155 --> 00:15:26,792 MAYBE I CAN WHEEL HIM TO A STRIP CLUB. 444 00:15:26,892 --> 00:15:28,527 MAN UP, GRAB A SPONGE, 445 00:15:28,627 --> 00:15:31,931 AND BATHE YOUR FUTURE SON-IN-LAW. 446 00:15:32,031 --> 00:15:33,098 SIR, YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS 447 00:15:33,198 --> 00:15:34,900 IF IT MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE. 448 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:38,437 NO. I WANT TO. 449 00:15:38,537 --> 00:15:42,141 NO ONE KNOWS HOW TO BATHE A MAN 450 00:15:42,241 --> 00:15:44,510 BETTER THAN ANOTHER MAN. 451 00:15:57,156 --> 00:16:00,960 SIR, DON'T YOU THINK IT WOULD BE MORE EFFECTIVE IF YOU LOOKED AT ME? 452 00:16:01,060 --> 00:16:03,362 NO, I DO NOT. 453 00:16:03,462 --> 00:16:04,897 DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY, 454 00:16:04,997 --> 00:16:06,732 BUT I ONCE SPENT A WHOLE SUMMER WASHING DOGS 455 00:16:06,832 --> 00:16:10,769 AND I COULDN'T LOOK THEM IN THE EYE, EITHER. 456 00:16:10,869 --> 00:16:13,939 OH, YEAH. THAT'S THE SPOT RIGHT THERE. 457 00:16:16,008 --> 00:16:17,776 WHAT SPOT? 458 00:16:17,876 --> 00:16:18,911 NO, I'M JUST-- I'M JUST SAYING 459 00:16:19,011 --> 00:16:22,281 THAT THAT FEELS REALLY GOOD. 460 00:16:22,381 --> 00:16:23,682 DOUG. YES, SIR? 461 00:16:23,782 --> 00:16:24,917 SAY THAT ONE MORE TIME 462 00:16:25,017 --> 00:16:28,354 AND I'M THROWING IN THE HAIR DRYER. 463 00:16:28,454 --> 00:16:30,022 YOU KNOW, SWEETIE, I JUST, UM, 464 00:16:30,122 --> 00:16:32,524 I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS ENGAGEMENT THING. 465 00:16:32,624 --> 00:16:34,760 I MEAN, YOU JUST-- YOU'RE SO YOUNG 466 00:16:34,860 --> 00:16:38,797 AND YOUR DAD AND I, WE GOT MARRIED VERY YOUNG. 467 00:16:38,897 --> 00:16:42,901 I KNOW. YOU GUYS TOTALLY INSPIRE ME. 468 00:16:46,305 --> 00:16:51,276 INSPIRE YOU TO WHAT? 469 00:16:51,377 --> 00:16:52,878 TO BE LIKE YOU. 470 00:16:52,978 --> 00:16:56,548 I MEAN, I'VE ALWAYS WANTED WHAT YOU GUYS HAVE. 471 00:16:56,648 --> 00:17:00,219 OF COURSE. I MEAN, WHO WOULDN'T? 472 00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:03,188 WHAT EXACTLY DO WE HAVE? 473 00:17:03,288 --> 00:17:06,158 UH, AN AMAZING RELATIONSHIP? 474 00:17:06,258 --> 00:17:09,828 I MEAN, ALL OF MY FRIENDS' PARENTS ARE DIVORCED 475 00:17:09,928 --> 00:17:11,897 AND THEY HATE EACH OTHER, 476 00:17:11,997 --> 00:17:13,198 BUT YOU GUYS, 477 00:17:13,298 --> 00:17:14,533 I MEAN, YOU'RE STILL TOGETHER 478 00:17:14,633 --> 00:17:17,836 AFTER ALL OF THESE YEARS AND YOU STILL 479 00:17:17,936 --> 00:17:19,471 ARE BEST FRIENDS. 480 00:17:19,571 --> 00:17:20,939 HMM. 481 00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:24,376 WE DO MAKE A PRETTY GOOD TEAM, I GUESS. 482 00:17:24,476 --> 00:17:26,145 PRETTY GOOD? 483 00:17:26,245 --> 00:17:29,581 MOM, THE REASON THAT I'M SO CONFIDENT 484 00:17:29,681 --> 00:17:30,916 ABOUT GETTING MARRIED TO DOUG 485 00:17:31,016 --> 00:17:34,219 IS BECAUSE YOU'VE SHOWN ME FIRST HAND 486 00:17:34,319 --> 00:17:37,956 HOW GREAT A MARRIAGE CAN BE. 487 00:17:40,993 --> 00:17:42,327 ARE YOU CRYING? 488 00:17:42,428 --> 00:17:44,096 NO. 489 00:17:45,197 --> 00:17:47,699 AND PERFECT. 490 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:48,801 ALL RIGHT. 491 00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:52,604 OK, LET'S FLIP ME OVER. 492 00:17:55,607 --> 00:17:56,542 UH, JUST A HEADS UP. 493 00:17:56,642 --> 00:17:57,743 THE BACK OF MY THIGHS 494 00:17:57,843 --> 00:17:59,545 IS WHERE A LOT OF THINGS CONGEAL. 495 00:17:59,645 --> 00:18:01,313 OK. AHEM. 496 00:18:01,413 --> 00:18:02,514 YOU KNOW WHAT? 497 00:18:02,614 --> 00:18:03,682 LET'S, UH, LET'S TAKE A UNION FIVER 498 00:18:03,782 --> 00:18:05,451 FOR THE SCRUBBER, HUH? 499 00:18:05,551 --> 00:18:06,552 YEAH, YEAH. 500 00:18:06,652 --> 00:18:08,053 OH, GOD. 501 00:18:10,022 --> 00:18:11,090 HEY, SIR. 502 00:18:11,190 --> 00:18:14,293 CAN I SHARE SOMETHING WITH YOU? 503 00:18:14,393 --> 00:18:15,527 I'M KINDA GETTING COLD FEET. 504 00:18:15,627 --> 00:18:17,096 OH, OH, REALLY? 505 00:18:17,196 --> 00:18:18,764 REALLY, DOUG? SO, YOUR FEET ARE COLD NOW, HUH? 506 00:18:18,864 --> 00:18:20,432 WELL, IT ISN'T GOING GREAT OVER HERE, EITHER. 507 00:18:20,532 --> 00:18:22,401 THIS IS THE LEAST HAPPY I'VE EVER BEEN 508 00:18:22,501 --> 00:18:24,470 SITTING ON THE TOILET. 509 00:18:25,637 --> 00:18:29,007 NO, NO. I MEAN ABOUT THE ENGAGEMENT. 510 00:18:36,081 --> 00:18:38,417 GO ON. 511 00:18:38,517 --> 00:18:41,286 WELL, I DON'T KNOW IF IT WAS THE EMOTION 512 00:18:41,386 --> 00:18:43,021 OF SEEING ALLISON GO AWAY 513 00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:45,057 OR THE TRAUMA OF THE ACCIDENT 514 00:18:45,157 --> 00:18:46,091 OR THE FACT THAT I WAS 515 00:18:46,191 --> 00:18:48,026 PRETTY HOPPED UP ON PAINKILLERS. 516 00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:49,628 I MEAN, MY BODY ISN'T USED TO DRUGS 517 00:18:49,728 --> 00:18:53,098 THAT DON'T COME IN A BROWNIE, YOU KNOW? 518 00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:56,235 WELL, I'M STARTING TO THINK 519 00:18:56,335 --> 00:18:58,737 THAT MAYBE I MIGHT HAVE MADE A MISTAKE. 520 00:18:58,837 --> 00:19:00,906 I MEAN, I LOVE YOUR DAUGHTER SO MUCH 521 00:19:01,006 --> 00:19:05,944 BUT I JUST--I'M NOT SURE WE'RE READY. 522 00:19:06,044 --> 00:19:07,746 IF YOU'RE ASKING MY PERMISSION 523 00:19:07,846 --> 00:19:10,115 TO NOT MARRY MY DAUGHTER, 524 00:19:10,215 --> 00:19:12,484 THE ANSWER IS "YES." 525 00:19:16,655 --> 00:19:17,890 JOY? 526 00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:19,491 JOY JOY? 527 00:19:20,192 --> 00:19:22,528 DARLING? 528 00:19:22,628 --> 00:19:25,497 GREAT NEWS. THE WEDDING'S-- 529 00:19:25,597 --> 00:19:28,467 IN MY BEDROOM. 530 00:19:28,567 --> 00:19:31,703 LISTEN, I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO TALK HER OUT OF IT. 531 00:19:31,803 --> 00:19:33,038 I KNOW. I WAS GOING TO, 532 00:19:33,138 --> 00:19:34,106 BUT THEN, YOU KNOW, 533 00:19:34,206 --> 00:19:35,707 SHE STARTED TALKING ABOUT YOU AND ME 534 00:19:35,807 --> 00:19:38,110 AND HOW SHE ADMIRED OUR RELATIONSHIP 535 00:19:38,210 --> 00:19:39,978 AND HOW CUTE WE ARE TOGETHER 536 00:19:40,078 --> 00:19:41,613 AND I JUST WANT TO EAT YOUR NOSE. 537 00:19:41,713 --> 00:19:42,814 WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? 538 00:19:42,915 --> 00:19:43,782 NOTHING. 539 00:19:43,882 --> 00:19:45,083 IT'S JUST ALLISON REMINDED ME 540 00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:46,752 THAT WE ACTUALLY HAVE A PRETTY GREAT MARRIAGE 541 00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:49,788 AND, YOU KNOW, WE'RE HER ROLE MODELS. 542 00:19:49,888 --> 00:19:50,989 WHAT ARE YOU? HIGH? 543 00:19:51,089 --> 00:19:52,090 DID YOU GET INTO DOUG'S BROWNIES? 544 00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:53,392 WHAT? COME ON, EDDIE. 545 00:19:53,492 --> 00:19:56,128 I'M HAPPY. THEY'RE HAPPY. EVERYBODY'S HAPPY. 546 00:19:56,228 --> 00:19:57,696 WELL, I'M NOT HAPPY 547 00:19:57,796 --> 00:19:59,598 BECAUSE I JUST SPENT AN HOUR PLAYING RUB-A-DUB-DOUG 548 00:19:59,698 --> 00:20:01,266 SO YOU COULD PUT THE KIBOSH ON THIS. 549 00:20:01,366 --> 00:20:04,603 I'M SORRY. I GUESS I JUST GOT A LITTLE SWEPT UP IN THE MOMENT. 550 00:20:04,703 --> 00:20:05,771 SWEPT UP IN THE MOMENT? 551 00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:07,472 YOU PRACTICALLY SET THE DATE. 552 00:20:07,573 --> 00:20:08,674 WELL, ACTUALLY-- 553 00:20:08,774 --> 00:20:09,908 BUT--BUT! 554 00:20:10,008 --> 00:20:11,410 PLEASE, LISTEN. IT DOESN'T MATTER, OK? 555 00:20:11,510 --> 00:20:13,312 BECAUSE DOUG ALREADY HAS COLD FEET, 556 00:20:13,412 --> 00:20:15,581 AND HE AGREES THAT THEY'RE TOO YOUNG TO EVEN DO THIS. 557 00:20:15,681 --> 00:20:18,951 DOUG, TELL HER WHAT YOU TOLD ME EARLIER. GO AHEAD. 558 00:20:20,786 --> 00:20:22,654 OH, WOW. 559 00:20:22,754 --> 00:20:24,356 WHAT DO YOU THINK? 560 00:20:24,456 --> 00:20:26,525 I DON'T KNOW HOW I EVER COULD HAVE DOUBTED THIS. 561 00:20:26,625 --> 00:20:30,295 YOU'RE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING I'VE EVER SEEN. 562 00:20:32,764 --> 00:20:33,732 AAH! OOF! 563 00:20:33,832 --> 00:20:35,901 OHH! 564 00:20:36,001 --> 00:20:37,269 OH, I'M HURT. 565 00:20:37,369 --> 00:20:38,704 AWW. 566 00:20:38,804 --> 00:20:43,408 OK, WE GOT $1,500 FOR A NONREFUNDABLE PLANE TICKET. 567 00:20:43,508 --> 00:20:44,543 YEP. 568 00:20:44,643 --> 00:20:45,944 AND YOU PREPAID THE ROOM AND BOARD 569 00:20:46,044 --> 00:20:47,279 FOR AN ENTIRE SEMESTER. 570 00:20:47,379 --> 00:20:49,214 SURE DID. SAVED US 50 BUCKS. 571 00:20:49,314 --> 00:20:50,515 OK, SO, 50 BUCKS 572 00:20:50,616 --> 00:20:52,718 GOES TOWARDS THE $700 PENALTY I HAD TO PAY 573 00:20:52,818 --> 00:20:56,455 FOR AN UNINSURED MOTORIST DRIVING MY CAR. 574 00:20:56,555 --> 00:20:59,258 AND THAT LEAVES US A NET LOSS OF-- 575 00:20:59,358 --> 00:21:00,492 2150. 576 00:21:00,592 --> 00:21:01,827 [ADDING MACHINE RATTLES] 577 00:21:01,927 --> 00:21:03,228 {\an8}2150. 578 00:21:03,328 --> 00:21:04,796 {\an8}OK, THAT MEANS ALL THE FOOD IN OUR KITCHEN 579 00:21:04,896 --> 00:21:06,832 {\an8}HAS TO LAST US FOR ANOTHER-- 580 00:21:06,932 --> 00:21:10,569 {\an8}THREE MONTHS. BUT--BUT-- BUT--BUT. 581 00:21:10,669 --> 00:21:12,638 {\an8}[ADDING MACHINE RATTLES] 582 00:21:12,738 --> 00:21:13,972 {\an8}THREE MONTHS. 583 00:21:14,072 --> 00:21:15,440 {\an8}OK. [DOOR OPENS] 584 00:21:15,540 --> 00:21:17,276 {\an8}HEY. WHOO. 585 00:21:17,376 --> 00:21:18,243 {\an8}HOW'S MY CAR? 586 00:21:18,343 --> 00:21:19,645 {\an8}I'M GONNA LEVEL WITH YOU, MAN. 587 00:21:19,745 --> 00:21:23,882 {\an8}BAD NEWS IS, WE CANNOT FIX THAT CAR FOR 90 BUCKS. 588 00:21:23,982 --> 00:21:25,017 {\an8}GOOD NEWS IS, MY COUSIN TITO 589 00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:27,152 {\an8}WILL TOW IT AWAY FOR $120. 590 00:21:27,252 --> 00:21:29,721 {\an8}CAN I GET AN APPLE? NOT UNTIL MARCH. 591 00:21:29,821 --> 00:21:31,590 {\an8}[ADDING MACHINE RATTLES] 592 00:21:32,624 --> 00:21:33,925 {\an8}[CHEERING] 43277

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