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{\an8}M
2
00:00:00,333 --> 00:00:00,367
{\an8}ME.
3
00:00:02,802 --> 00:00:04,070
{\an8}WELL, THEN,
I WON'T EVEN TRY.
4
00:00:04,170 --> 00:00:06,706
SHE AND STEPHEN SPLIT UP.
GET OUT.
5
00:00:06,806 --> 00:00:08,908
YEAH. THAT'S WHAT
SHE TOLD HIM.
6
00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:11,344
WELL, GOSH. WHAT,
WAS HE CHEATING ON HER?
7
00:00:11,444 --> 00:00:14,114
{\an8}WHY WOULD YOU
AUTOMATICALLY ASSUME
THAT HE WAS CHEATING ON HER?
8
00:00:14,214 --> 00:00:16,349
{\an8}BECAUSE OTHERWISE,
SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN
THE ONE TO MOVE OUT.
9
00:00:16,449 --> 00:00:19,252
{\an8}THAT'S HOW IT WORKS, JOY.
WHOEVER STRAYS, PAYS.
10
00:00:19,352 --> 00:00:21,087
{\an8}WHICH IS WHY I WAS
ASSUMING THAT--
11
00:00:21,187 --> 00:00:23,456
{\an8}WHAT, THAT HE LEFT HER
FOR A YOUNGER WOMAN?
12
00:00:23,556 --> 00:00:25,959
WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT
A YOUNGER WOMAN? COULD HAVE
BEEN AN OLDER WOMAN.
13
00:00:26,059 --> 00:00:28,194
{\an8}YEAH. THAT HAPPENS A LOT.
14
00:00:28,294 --> 00:00:30,196
{\an8}ANYWAY, IT'S AWFUL.
YOU KNOW WHAT I DID?
15
00:00:30,296 --> 00:00:33,466
{\an8}I JUST MADE A RESERVATION
FOR THEIR ANNIVERSARY
AT SPAGHETTABOUTIT.
16
00:00:33,566 --> 00:00:36,002
{\an8}YEAH. MIGHT AS WELL
CANCEL IT.
17
00:00:36,102 --> 00:00:38,138
{\an8}OR WE COULD
MAKE IT FOR TWO.
18
00:00:38,238 --> 00:00:39,706
I'LL CANCEL IT.
19
00:00:39,806 --> 00:00:41,975
ANYWAY, WHAT DO YOU
THINK HAPPENED?
20
00:00:42,075 --> 00:00:44,477
{\an8}WELL, I AM MEETING HER LATER
FOR A MANI-PEDI
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00:00:44,577 --> 00:00:46,413
{\an8}TO GET ALL THE GORY DETAILS.
22
00:00:46,513 --> 00:00:48,281
{\an8}WELL, LOOK.
JUST BE CAREFUL,
JOY, OK?
23
00:00:48,381 --> 00:00:50,750
{\an8}YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU'RE BETTER OFF
NOT TO GET INVOLVED.
24
00:00:50,850 --> 00:00:53,586
I'M--NOT--
WITH ANYBODY. EVER.
25
00:00:53,686 --> 00:00:55,455
{\an8}I'M NOT GONNA GET INVOLVED.
26
00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:59,592
{\an8}I'M JUST GONNA
GET ENOUGH DETAILS
TO MAKE ME FEEL SUPERIOR.
27
00:00:59,692 --> 00:01:02,829
{\an8}THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS DO.
28
00:01:02,929 --> 00:01:05,298
WELL, AT LEAST OUR MARRIAGE
IS STRONG, HUH, BABY?
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00:01:05,398 --> 00:01:06,733
{\an8}YEAH.
30
00:01:06,833 --> 00:01:09,569
{\an8}IS IT STRONG, EDDIE,
OR AM I JUST LAZY
31
00:01:09,669 --> 00:01:12,405
AND YOU'RE AFRAID OF DISEASE?
32
00:01:12,505 --> 00:01:15,975
{\an8}IT WORKS. LET'S NOT
LOOK UNDER THE HOOD.
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00:01:20,346 --> 00:01:22,282
{\an8}Man: ALL RIGHT, GUYS.
[CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY]
34
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{\an8}[VEHICLE BEEPING]
[MACHINE WHIRRING]
35
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{\an8}[CLANKING]
[MEN CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]
36
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{\an8}[BEEPING AND WHIRRING
CONTINUE]
37
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{\an8}Man: LET'S GO.
38
00:01:30,623 --> 00:01:33,093
{\an8}[CHATTERING AND LAUGHTER]
39
00:01:35,128 --> 00:01:38,064
OH! WH--
40
00:01:38,164 --> 00:01:43,269
{\an8}AAH. AAH. AAH. AAH.
41
00:01:43,369 --> 00:01:44,771
{\an8}YOU GOTTA SEE THIS.
42
00:01:44,871 --> 00:01:47,440
{\an8}THEY'RE STRIKING
THE SET. IT'S ALL FAKE.
43
00:01:47,540 --> 00:01:48,875
LOOK.
44
00:01:49,976 --> 00:01:50,844
NO!
45
00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:52,779
NO, NO, NO.
THEY WERE JUST--
46
00:01:52,879 --> 00:01:55,715
THEY WERE JUST OUT THERE.
I SWEAR.
47
00:01:55,815 --> 00:01:57,217
{\an8}DOUG...
48
00:01:57,317 --> 00:01:59,786
{\an8}THIS IS GETTING SERIOUS.
YOU'VE GOT TO SEE SOMEBODY.
49
00:01:59,886 --> 00:02:02,822
{\an8}I'M NOT KIDDING.
I'M CALLING DR. SPORTELLO
FOR A REFERENCE.
50
00:02:02,922 --> 00:02:04,390
{\an8}YOU MEAN, LIKE,
A SHRINK?
51
00:02:04,491 --> 00:02:07,594
YES, DOUG, A SHRINK.
YOU NEED SOME HELP.
52
00:02:07,694 --> 00:02:09,095
UH...
53
00:02:09,195 --> 00:02:12,065
AAH.
54
00:02:15,902 --> 00:02:17,137
HEY, EDDIE!
HEY.
55
00:02:17,237 --> 00:02:19,272
STEPHEN, HOW ARE YOU?
I'M GOOD. I'M GREAT.
56
00:02:19,372 --> 00:02:21,207
NEVER BEEN BETTER.
GOOD. GLAD TO HEAR THAT.
57
00:02:21,307 --> 00:02:23,443
MMM.
ALL RIGHT.
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
58
00:02:23,543 --> 00:02:25,845
YOU PROBABLY HEARD THAT
SIMONA AND I BROKE UP, HUH?
59
00:02:25,945 --> 00:02:27,247
NO. NO, I'M--
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00:02:27,347 --> 00:02:30,750
OH, GOSH, I'M SORRY.
I'M SHOCKED.
61
00:02:31,651 --> 00:02:32,952
OK, GOTTA GO.
62
00:02:33,052 --> 00:02:35,889
SIMONA CAME HOME
AND CAUGHT ME IN BED
WITH HER SISTER.
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00:02:38,558 --> 00:02:40,960
WHAT? REALLY?
64
00:02:41,060 --> 00:02:44,597
NAH. I ONLY SAID THAT
'CAUSE IT LOOKED LIKE
YOU WANTED TO LEAVE.
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00:02:44,697 --> 00:02:46,099
OH. HEH.
66
00:02:46,199 --> 00:02:49,836
THE REAL REASON
WE SPLIT UP IS BECAUSE...
I GRIND MY TEETH.
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00:02:49,936 --> 00:02:52,572
AT LEAST,
THAT'S HOW IT STARTED.
HERE'S HOW IT ENDED.
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00:02:52,672 --> 00:02:56,309
[SOUTHERN ACCENT]
"Y'ALL CAN GO GRIND YOUR TEETH
IN HELL, YOU BASTARD!"
69
00:02:56,409 --> 00:02:58,044
WOW. IT'S--
70
00:02:58,144 --> 00:03:00,747
IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE
THAT YOU BROKE UP OVER
SOMETHING SO TRIVIAL.
71
00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:03,216
MM-MMM. IT WASN'T JUST
THE GRINDING, EDDIE.
72
00:03:03,316 --> 00:03:06,452
IT WAS THE LAST 15 YEARS--
ALL THE WHINING
AND ALL THE COMPLAINING
73
00:03:06,553 --> 00:03:09,255
AND ALL THE "Y'ALL"S AND--
OH.
YEAH. YEAH.
74
00:03:09,355 --> 00:03:11,457
I BET THAT LAUGH OF HERS
DIDN'T HELP, HUH?
75
00:03:11,558 --> 00:03:12,792
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
76
00:03:12,892 --> 00:03:14,360
WELL, YOU KNOW,
THAT CACKLE--
77
00:03:14,460 --> 00:03:17,463
HEH YEH YEH YEH!
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
78
00:03:17,564 --> 00:03:20,233
I MEAN, IT'S LIKE
RAZOR BLADES
ON MY SPINE THERE.
79
00:03:20,333 --> 00:03:22,268
I ACTUALLY LIKED HER LAUGH.
OH, WELL,
80
00:03:22,368 --> 00:03:23,870
I'M SURE
IT GROWS ON YOU.
81
00:03:23,970 --> 00:03:26,873
BUT, LISTEN. YOU KNOW,
JOY AND I, WE FELT
REALLY BAD ABOUT THIS,
82
00:03:26,973 --> 00:03:28,975
BECAUSE WE LIKE
BOTH OF YOU SO MUCH.
83
00:03:29,075 --> 00:03:30,777
I APPRECIATE THAT, EDDIE.
MMM.
84
00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:33,880
BUT IF YOU HAD TO
CHOOSE BETWEEN US,
YOU'D CHOOSE ME, RIGHT?
85
00:03:33,980 --> 00:03:37,417
ARE WE TALKING
ABOUT FRIENDSHIP
OR DESERT-ISLAND SEX?
86
00:03:37,517 --> 00:03:39,719
TRICK QUESTION, BUDDY,
TRICK QUESTION--
87
00:03:39,819 --> 00:03:41,688
I WOULD PICK YOU
FOR BOTH.
88
00:03:41,788 --> 00:03:43,656
HEH HEH HEH.
IN A HEARTBEAT.
89
00:03:43,756 --> 00:03:46,793
IN A HEARTBEAT.
I MEAN, I GOTTA
TELL YOU, SIMONA,
90
00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:48,861
YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN
OUR FAVORITE.
91
00:03:48,962 --> 00:03:50,496
A-AND THAT'S NO KNOCK
AGAINST STEPHEN.
92
00:03:50,597 --> 00:03:54,100
BUT YOU'RE MORE FUN,
AND THE WAY
YOU SAY "Y'ALL,"
93
00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:56,202
AND THAT GREAT
LAUGH OF YOURS--
94
00:03:56,302 --> 00:03:58,905
IT'S LIKE A BUSLOAD
OF HAPPY CHILDREN.
95
00:03:59,005 --> 00:04:00,974
HEH YEH YEH YEH!
96
00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:03,276
THERE IT IS.
HEH HEH HEH.
97
00:04:03,376 --> 00:04:04,877
[BOTH SIGH]
98
00:04:04,978 --> 00:04:07,347
ALL I ASKED THE MAN
TO DO WAS WEAR A MOUTHGUARD.
99
00:04:07,447 --> 00:04:09,415
IS THAT TOO MUCH?
NO, IT IS NOT.
100
00:04:09,515 --> 00:04:11,050
WHAT DID HE SAY?
101
00:04:11,150 --> 00:04:13,653
JUST A BUNCH OF GOBBLEDYGOOK
ABOUT BEING UNCOMFORTABLE
102
00:04:13,753 --> 00:04:15,255
AND NOT BEING ABLE
TO BREATHE.
103
00:04:15,355 --> 00:04:18,157
MEANWHILE, I'M AWAKE ALL NIGHT
LISTENING TO THE GRINDING.
104
00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:20,960
I CAN HEAR IT, EVEN WHEN
I PUT A PILLOW OVER HIS FACE.
105
00:04:21,060 --> 00:04:23,930
YOU PUT A PILLOW
OVER HIS FACE?
106
00:04:24,030 --> 00:04:26,699
YEAH, JUST TILL
HE LOSES CONSCIOUSNESS.
107
00:04:26,799 --> 00:04:30,503
I'M A DOCTOR.
I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING.
108
00:04:30,603 --> 00:04:33,539
YOU KNOW, WE WERE
GONNA TAKE YOU TO
LE PETIT CHATEAU
109
00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:35,942
FOR YOUR ANNIVERSARY.
OH, MY GOD.
110
00:04:36,042 --> 00:04:38,144
YES.
THAT PLACE IS SO EXPENSIVE.
111
00:04:38,244 --> 00:04:41,347
I'M SURPRISED
THAT EDDIE WOULD SPRING FOR
A PLACE LIKE THAT.
112
00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:44,651
YEAH. ARE YOU KIDDING?
IT'S YOUR ANNIVERSARY.
113
00:04:44,751 --> 00:04:48,388
WELL, THAT DOESN'T MATTER
ANYMORE NOW, DOES IT?
114
00:04:48,488 --> 00:04:50,123
LISTEN, SIMONA.
115
00:04:50,223 --> 00:04:54,060
BETWEEN YOU AND ME,
I THINK THIS MIGHT BE
FOR THE BEST.
116
00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:55,762
YOU THINK SO?
117
00:04:55,862 --> 00:04:57,630
YEAH. I MEAN,
JUST THINK ABOUT IT.
118
00:04:57,730 --> 00:04:59,666
YOU DON'T HAVE TO SIT
FOR THE NEXT 15 YEARS
119
00:04:59,766 --> 00:05:02,869
WHILE STEPHEN
PUTS HIS LITTLE PINKIE
IN HIS EAR DURING MEALS.
120
00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:05,171
I NEVER NOTICED THAT.
REALLY?
121
00:05:05,271 --> 00:05:08,908
IT'S LIKE SOMETHING
A HILLBILLY WOULD DO.
122
00:05:09,842 --> 00:05:11,144
ANYWAY, THE POINT IS,
123
00:05:11,244 --> 00:05:13,913
YOU ARE YOUNG,
AND YOU'RE
A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN.
124
00:05:14,013 --> 00:05:16,516
AND YOU'RE A DOCTOR,
FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.
125
00:05:16,616 --> 00:05:19,218
YOU HAVE YOUR WHOLE LIFE
AHEAD OF YOU.
126
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,788
AND I'M SURE THAT
THERE ARE LOTS OF MEN
127
00:05:21,888 --> 00:05:23,890
WHO WOULD BE LUCKY
TO HAVE YOU.
128
00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:28,094
YOU KNOW, I ONLY HAD
2 BOYFRIENDS BEFORE
I MARRIED STEPHEN.
129
00:05:28,227 --> 00:05:29,862
WOW.
YEAH.
130
00:05:29,962 --> 00:05:32,932
HOW MANY BOYFRIENDS
DID YOU HAVE BEFORE
YOU MARRIED EDDIE?
131
00:05:33,032 --> 00:05:37,770
WELL, YOU WOULD HAVE TO
DEFINE "BOYFRIENDS."
132
00:05:37,870 --> 00:05:39,405
IT'S EITHER 6
133
00:05:39,505 --> 00:05:43,142
OR A REALLY BIG NUMBER.
134
00:05:43,242 --> 00:05:44,243
OH.
135
00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:50,817
IF I WERE TO TELL YOU
THAT THERE'S NO CEILING,
136
00:05:50,917 --> 00:05:52,251
WHAT WOULD YOU SAY?
137
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:54,354
I WOULD SAY
THAT YOU'RE CRAZY,
138
00:05:54,454 --> 00:05:56,756
BUT THAT'S WHY YOU'RE
GOING TO A SHRINK.
139
00:05:56,856 --> 00:05:59,926
OK, ONE OF IS CRAZY, ALLY,
BECAUSE WHEN I LOOK UP,
140
00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:02,929
ALL I SEE ARE LIGHTS,
CATWALKS, AND MICROPHONES--
141
00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:06,165
HONEY, YOU'RE SEEING
AND HEARING THINGS
THAT AREN'T REALLY THERE.
142
00:06:06,265 --> 00:06:08,668
IT'S OBVIOUS
TO EVERYONE BUT YOU.
143
00:06:08,768 --> 00:06:11,070
WE'RE GONNA GET YOU
SOME HELP.
144
00:06:11,170 --> 00:06:13,239
I APPRECIATE THAT, ALLY.
145
00:06:13,339 --> 00:06:17,110
'CAUSE I'M WORRIED
WE'RE GONNA GET CANCELED.
146
00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:19,245
HANG IN THERE.
147
00:06:23,015 --> 00:06:24,317
UHH. [GASPS]
148
00:06:24,417 --> 00:06:25,885
OH.
149
00:06:25,985 --> 00:06:28,221
OK. I'M NOT
AFRAID OF YOU,
150
00:06:28,321 --> 00:06:32,125
BECAUSE I KNOW YOU'RE
NOT REALLY THERE.
151
00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:34,727
OR MAYBE I'M...
152
00:06:34,827 --> 00:06:36,796
OR--OR MAYBE...
153
00:06:36,896 --> 00:06:38,865
LINE?
Woman:
NOT REALLY HERE.
154
00:06:38,965 --> 00:06:40,133
THANKS, LIZZIE.
155
00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:43,903
NOT REALLY HERE.
156
00:06:44,003 --> 00:06:46,272
OH, GOD.
157
00:06:49,108 --> 00:06:50,543
I MEAN,
CAN YOU IMAGINE?
158
00:06:50,643 --> 00:06:53,279
SIMONA MAKES HIM SLEEP
IN THIS HIDEOUS
DENTAL CONTRAPTION
159
00:06:53,379 --> 00:06:55,448
SO HE DOESN'T
GRIND HIS TEETH.
[SIGHS]
160
00:06:55,548 --> 00:06:59,385
IT WAS A CUSTOM-FITTED
MOUTHGUARD MADE BY A DENTIST.
161
00:06:59,485 --> 00:07:01,387
YEAH, BUT IT WAS
EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE.
162
00:07:01,487 --> 00:07:03,489
YEAH, WELL, I IMAGINE
IT'S A LITTLE UNCOMFORTABLE
163
00:07:03,589 --> 00:07:06,225
TO TRY TO SLEEP WHEN SOMEONE'S
GRINDING THEIR TEETH AT NIGHT.
164
00:07:06,325 --> 00:07:09,061
SO, THEN SHE SHOULD
WEAR HER EAR PLUGS.
165
00:07:09,162 --> 00:07:11,030
BUT WHAT IF
THERE'S A FIRE, EDDIE?
166
00:07:11,130 --> 00:07:13,833
YOU SMELL A FIRE, JOY.
YOU DON'T HEAR ONE.
167
00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:16,002
OK. OH, RIGHT.
THAT MUST BE WHY
168
00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:18,871
WE HAVE ALL THOSE
SMELL DETECTORS
ALL OVER THE HOUSE.
169
00:07:18,971 --> 00:07:21,040
OK, THOSE ARE ALARMS, JOY.
YOU HEAR ALARMS.
170
00:07:21,140 --> 00:07:23,075
ALL RIGHT.
SO, I AM TO UNDERSTAND
171
00:07:23,176 --> 00:07:25,478
THAT YOU WOULD LET ME
DIE IN A FIRE
172
00:07:25,578 --> 00:07:27,580
BEFORE YOU'D WEAR
A MOUTHGUARD.
173
00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:29,148
I HAVE SENSITIVE GUMS.
174
00:07:29,248 --> 00:07:31,451
YOU WOULD JUST HAVE TO
WEAR THE EARPLUGS.
175
00:07:31,551 --> 00:07:34,353
WHY AM I ALWAYS DOING
ALL THE WEARING? [CHUCKLES]
176
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:38,057
[DEEP VOICE] "NO, JOY, I CAN'T
WEAR A CONDOM. IT'S LIKE
SHOWERING IN A RAINCOAT."
177
00:07:38,157 --> 00:07:41,327
[NORMAL VOICE]
9 MONTHS LATER, "HI, ALLY!"
178
00:07:43,196 --> 00:07:44,764
NICE TRY
CHANGING THE SUBJECT,
179
00:07:44,864 --> 00:07:47,033
BUT GRINDING MY TEETH
HAS NEVER BOTHERED ME.
180
00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:49,569
YEAH, WELL,
IT'S BOTHERED ME.
181
00:07:51,370 --> 00:07:53,806
WAIT A MINUTE.
[LAUGHING]
182
00:07:53,906 --> 00:07:56,209
I DON'T EVEN
GRIND MY TEETH.
183
00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:58,211
OH, MY GOD. DID YOU SEE
WHAT JUST HAPPENED?
184
00:07:58,311 --> 00:08:01,180
WE HAD
SOMEONE ELSE'S ARGUMENT.
185
00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:02,882
YOU SEE,
THAT'S THE WAY IT GOES.
186
00:08:02,982 --> 00:08:05,318
WHEN YOUR FRIENDS
BREAK UP, YOU END UP
PICKING SIDES.
187
00:08:05,418 --> 00:08:08,588
I TOOK STEPHEN'S SIDE,
AND YOU TOOK THE SIDE
OF THE NUT.
188
00:08:08,688 --> 00:08:11,090
OH--ALL RIGHT.
WAIT A MINUTE.
YOU'RE A GUY.
189
00:08:11,190 --> 00:08:14,126
AND GUYS ALWAYS
TAKE THE SIDE OF THE GUY.
190
00:08:14,227 --> 00:08:16,462
THAT'S NOT TRUE.
WELL, YES, IT IS.
191
00:08:16,562 --> 00:08:19,198
I CAN PROVE IT TO YOU.
OK, LET'S SEE.
192
00:08:19,298 --> 00:08:21,801
IF YOU WERE STRANDED
ON A DESERT ISLAND,
193
00:08:21,901 --> 00:08:23,703
WHICH ONE OF THEM
WOULD YOU PICK TO BE WITH?
194
00:08:23,803 --> 00:08:25,538
OK. SEE, NOW, THAT'S
A TRICK QUESTION.
195
00:08:25,638 --> 00:08:27,640
BECAUSE IF I PICK HER,
I'M CHEATING ON YOU,
196
00:08:27,740 --> 00:08:29,909
AND IF I PICK HIM,
YOU WIN THE ARGUMENT.
197
00:08:30,009 --> 00:08:32,345
IT'S SOPHIE'S CHOICE.
198
00:08:32,445 --> 00:08:35,181
YOU CAN'T
ANSWER THE QUESTION, CAN YOU?
199
00:08:35,281 --> 00:08:37,216
WELL, CAN YOU?
YES, I CAN.
200
00:08:37,316 --> 00:08:39,318
I WOULD PICK SIMONA.
201
00:08:39,418 --> 00:08:41,988
REALLY?
REALLY.
202
00:08:42,088 --> 00:08:45,491
AH. INTERESTING.
MMM. MM-HMM.
203
00:08:47,593 --> 00:08:50,530
AND I COULD ASSUME
THAT YOUR CLOTHES
204
00:08:50,630 --> 00:08:54,166
WOULD BE TORN AND TATTERED
FROM THE SHIPWRECK?
205
00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:56,235
[SIGHS]
206
00:08:56,335 --> 00:08:58,437
YEAH. THEY WOULD BE.
207
00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:02,074
AND THAT-THAT TWO OF YOU
WOULD HAVE TO HUDDLE
TOGETHER AT NIGHT
208
00:09:02,174 --> 00:09:04,143
TO STAY WARM?
209
00:09:04,243 --> 00:09:05,878
YES.
210
00:09:05,978 --> 00:09:08,481
WELL, I SURE HOPE
YOU DON'T GRIND
YOUR TEETH AT NIGHT,
211
00:09:08,581 --> 00:09:10,950
'CAUSE SHE WOULD
SMOTHER YOU
IN YOUR SLEEP.
212
00:09:11,050 --> 00:09:12,752
GOOD NIGHT.
213
00:09:12,852 --> 00:09:15,087
GOOD NIGHT.
214
00:09:19,692 --> 00:09:21,394
I GUESS IT'S SAFE
TO ASSUME
215
00:09:21,494 --> 00:09:23,162
THAT THERE WOULD BE
A LAGOON
216
00:09:23,262 --> 00:09:25,197
WHERE BOTH OF YOU
WOULD BE
SWIMMING NAKED.
217
00:09:25,298 --> 00:09:27,033
SHUT UP, EDDIE.
218
00:09:28,634 --> 00:09:31,203
I'LL TAKE THAT
AS A YES.
219
00:09:37,109 --> 00:09:39,111
SO, WHAT'S GOING ON, DOUG?
220
00:09:39,211 --> 00:09:41,414
UH, I THINK
I'M GOING CRAZY?
221
00:09:41,514 --> 00:09:43,716
GOOD. THEN YOU'VE COME
TO THE RIGHT PLACE.
222
00:09:43,816 --> 00:09:46,786
IF YOU WERE HAVING TROUBLE
WITH YOUR ANKLES,
I COULDN'T HELP YOU.
223
00:09:46,886 --> 00:09:48,654
BUT I'M GOOD WITH CRAZY.
224
00:09:48,754 --> 00:09:50,389
DO YOU KNOW
WHAT'S WEIRD?
225
00:09:50,489 --> 00:09:51,924
ACTUALLY, I DO.
226
00:09:52,024 --> 00:09:54,594
I KNOW LOTS OF THINGS
THAT ARE WEIRD.
227
00:09:54,694 --> 00:09:56,662
BUT WHAT'S WEIRD TO YOU?
228
00:09:56,762 --> 00:09:58,130
WELL, HAS ANYBODY
EVER TOLD YOU
229
00:09:58,230 --> 00:10:01,634
THAT YOU LOOK
JUST LIKE THE GIRL
WHO PLAYED BLOSSOM?
230
00:10:02,668 --> 00:10:04,637
I AM THE GIRL
THAT PLAYED BLOSSOM.
231
00:10:04,737 --> 00:10:07,206
NO WAY.
232
00:10:09,709 --> 00:10:11,077
WAY. HEH.
233
00:10:11,177 --> 00:10:13,446
WHEN THE SHOW WAS OVER,
I WENT INTO MEDICINE,
234
00:10:13,546 --> 00:10:15,615
BECAME A SHRINK,
AND FOUND MY SPECIALTY--
235
00:10:15,715 --> 00:10:18,017
DEALING IN SITCOM-OSIS.
236
00:10:18,117 --> 00:10:21,487
THAT'S THE TERM FOR
SOMEONE WHO THINKS THAT
THEY'RE LIVING IN A SITCOM.
237
00:10:21,587 --> 00:10:24,290
I--I THOUGHT
IT WAS JUST ME.
238
00:10:24,390 --> 00:10:25,558
OK.
239
00:10:25,658 --> 00:10:28,394
SO, WHY DID YOU LOCATE
TO PHILADELPHIA?
240
00:10:28,494 --> 00:10:29,562
PHILADELPHIA?
241
00:10:29,662 --> 00:10:32,398
YEAH. WE'RE IN
PHILADELPHIA, RIGHT?
242
00:10:32,498 --> 00:10:34,367
SURE.
243
00:10:36,168 --> 00:10:38,270
TELL ME WHAT YOU'VE BEEN
EXPERIENCING.
244
00:10:38,371 --> 00:10:39,372
UM, OK.
245
00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:42,441
WELL, THE WEIRDEST THING
IS THE LAUGHTER.
246
00:10:42,541 --> 00:10:45,144
I HEAR IT
ALMOST EVERY TIME
I SAY SOMETHING,
247
00:10:45,244 --> 00:10:47,880
EVEN IF IT'S NOT FUNNY.
[LAUGHTER]
248
00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:50,850
J-JUST LIKE--THERE.
DID YOU HEAR THAT?
DID YOU HEAR THAT?
249
00:10:50,950 --> 00:10:53,252
[LAUGHTER]
YES, I DID.
250
00:10:53,352 --> 00:10:54,987
OH, THANK GOD.
251
00:10:55,087 --> 00:10:57,089
THAT'S BECAUSE
I HAVE A LAUGH TRACK
HERE IN THE OFFICE.
252
00:10:57,189 --> 00:11:00,226
I JUST HIT THIS BUTTON
RIGHT HERE.
[LAUGHTER]
253
00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:02,995
CHECK THIS OUT.
DOUG, YOU'RE GONNA DIE.
254
00:11:03,095 --> 00:11:04,363
[LAUGHTER]
255
00:11:04,463 --> 00:11:07,166
[CHUCKLING]
ISN'T THAT WILD? [CHUCKLING]
256
00:11:07,266 --> 00:11:10,236
UH, WHY DO YOU HAVE
A LAUGH TRACK?
257
00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:12,505
AH, THE ETERNAL QUESTION.
258
00:11:12,605 --> 00:11:15,241
MOST OF MY PATIENTS
ARE USED TO HEARING LAUGHS.
259
00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:17,810
PLUS, I GOT SO USED TO
HEARING THEM WHEN
I WAS ON THE SHOW
260
00:11:17,910 --> 00:11:20,246
THAT I WANTED
TO KEEP HEARING THEM.
261
00:11:22,314 --> 00:11:24,283
O-OK.
SO, WHAT'S GOING ON?
262
00:11:24,383 --> 00:11:25,618
AM I CRAZY?
263
00:11:25,718 --> 00:11:27,820
LOOK, DOUG. YOU'RE HAVING
PARANOID DELUSIONS,
264
00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:29,855
WHICH I WOULD GUESS
WAS CAUSED BY USING DRUGS.
265
00:11:29,955 --> 00:11:31,924
UH-HUH.
IRONICALLY, THIS CONDITION
266
00:11:32,024 --> 00:11:34,093
CAN BE CURED USING DRUGS.
267
00:11:34,193 --> 00:11:35,528
REALLY?
268
00:11:35,628 --> 00:11:38,030
WITH THE CORRECT COMBINATION OF
SEROTONIN-REUPTAKE INHIBITORS,
269
00:11:38,130 --> 00:11:41,133
DOWNERS, AND ASPIRIN,
WE CAN RETURN YOU TO
SOMETHING CLOSE TO NORMAL.
270
00:11:41,233 --> 00:11:44,503
OH.
TELL ME EXACTLY
WHAT YOU'VE BEEN EXPERIENCING.
271
00:11:44,603 --> 00:11:48,074
UH, OK. WELL,
IN ADDITION TO
THE LAUGH TRACK,
272
00:11:48,174 --> 00:11:52,511
UM, MY GIRLFRIEND HAS
LOOKED LIKE 3 OR 4
DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
273
00:11:52,611 --> 00:11:56,515
I DON'T EVER REMEMBER
BUYING CLOTHES.
274
00:11:56,615 --> 00:12:00,252
NOTHING SERIOUS EVER
HAPPENS TO ANYBODY.
275
00:12:00,352 --> 00:12:04,356
THE CREW ONLY LAUGHS
DURING BLOCKING.
276
00:12:04,457 --> 00:12:06,759
UH...
277
00:12:06,859 --> 00:12:12,331
IT'S JUST THIS--THIS
CONSTANT FEELING
OF BEING OBSERVED.
278
00:12:12,431 --> 00:12:15,167
I CAN ASSURE YOU, DOUG,
NO ONE IS WATCHING.
279
00:12:15,267 --> 00:12:20,372
IT'S LIKE FRIDAY NIGHT ON FOX.
THERE'S NOBODY THERE, BUDDY.
280
00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:23,242
OK. THAT--THAT'S
A RELIEF.
281
00:12:23,342 --> 00:12:25,144
LOOK, DOUG,
YOU SEEM LIKE A BRIGHT GUY.
282
00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:27,947
SO, LET ME GIVE YOU
A PHILOSOPHICAL OVERVIEW
OF THE SITUATION.
283
00:12:28,047 --> 00:12:31,183
YOU NEED TO STOP THIS NONSENSE
ABOUT BEING IN A SITCOM.
284
00:12:31,283 --> 00:12:34,086
IT WILL RUIN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS,
IT WILL RUIN YOUR LIFE,
285
00:12:34,186 --> 00:12:37,490
BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY,
IT WILL RUIN THE SHOW.
286
00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:40,159
UH, WHAT--WHAT SHOW?
287
00:12:40,259 --> 00:12:42,528
THE SHOW WE'RE ALL IN, DOUG,
THE BIG SHOW.
288
00:12:42,628 --> 00:12:44,230
IT'S CALLED LIFE.
289
00:12:44,330 --> 00:12:47,099
OK, WHAT IF
WE'RE ALL JUST PART OF
SOMEONE ELSE'S DREAM?
290
00:12:47,199 --> 00:12:48,868
IT DOESN'T MATTER.
291
00:12:48,968 --> 00:12:51,270
AND EVEN IF IT IS A DREAM,
IT DOESN'T MATTER
WHO'S DREAMING IT.
292
00:12:51,370 --> 00:12:53,038
COULD BE A DREAM OF
SOME HOLLYWOOD HACK
293
00:12:53,139 --> 00:12:55,641
TO SUPPORT HIS NEED
FOR WHORES AND NARCOTICS.
294
00:12:55,741 --> 00:12:58,344
I--I SAID
THAT EXACT SAME THING
295
00:12:58,444 --> 00:13:02,248
IN A PREVIOUS EPISODE.
296
00:13:02,348 --> 00:13:05,117
EVERYBODY SAYS IT.
IT'S OUR WORST FEAR.
297
00:13:05,217 --> 00:13:07,753
IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER
IF IT'S GOD'S DREAM.
298
00:13:07,853 --> 00:13:09,822
ALL THAT MATTERS
IS THAT WE'RE IN IT.
299
00:13:09,922 --> 00:13:11,957
SO, LEARN YOUR LINES,
GO OUT THERE AND BE FUNNY,
300
00:13:12,057 --> 00:13:14,393
BEFORE WHOEVER
IS DREAMING THIS WAKES UP.
301
00:13:14,493 --> 00:13:16,262
OK.
302
00:13:16,362 --> 00:13:19,565
I'M GONNA GIVE YOU
A PRESCRIPTION
AND A CATCH PHRASE.
303
00:13:19,665 --> 00:13:21,367
A CATCH PHRASE?
YES.
304
00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:23,803
AS LONG AS YOU'RE HAVING
THESE DELUSIONS,
305
00:13:23,903 --> 00:13:25,838
A CATCH PHRASE WILL
HELP YOU DEAL WITH STRESS.
306
00:13:25,938 --> 00:13:27,907
JUST SAY IT WHENEVER
YOU FEEL FRIGHTENED
307
00:13:28,007 --> 00:13:30,376
OR WHEN YOU NEED
TO GET OUT OF A SCENE.
308
00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:33,712
IT'S A BUTTON.
HERE YOU GO. TRY IT.
309
00:13:34,914 --> 00:13:38,117
"WHOA!"
310
00:13:39,518 --> 00:13:42,555
TRUST ME. IT WORKS.
311
00:13:53,532 --> 00:13:55,267
OH, HEY, JOY.
312
00:13:55,367 --> 00:13:57,469
HI. STEPHEN.
WELL, THIS IS
A COINCIDENCE.
313
00:13:57,570 --> 00:14:01,106
YEAH, IT IS.
I WAS JUST PICKING UP SOME
CHOCOLATE-COVERED DOUGHNUTS
314
00:14:01,207 --> 00:14:03,409
TO CELEBRATE THE END OF A DIET.
[CHUCKLING]
OH.
315
00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:05,377
NICE.
HOW'S IT GOING?
316
00:14:05,477 --> 00:14:07,847
FABULOUS. I'VE NEVER
BEEN HAPPIER IN MY LIFE.
317
00:14:07,947 --> 00:14:10,015
OH. YOU KNOW,
A LOT OF PEOPLE
FEEL THAT WAY
318
00:14:10,115 --> 00:14:12,151
WHEN THEY DITCH
THE OLD BALL AND CHAIN.
319
00:14:12,251 --> 00:14:13,485
OH, NO, NO. I'M HAPPY
320
00:14:13,586 --> 00:14:15,521
BECAUSE SIMONA AND I
GOT BACK TOGETHER AGAIN.
321
00:14:15,621 --> 00:14:17,690
OH.
YEAH.
322
00:14:17,790 --> 00:14:20,359
I WAS--I WAS KIDDING.
HEH HEH.
323
00:14:20,459 --> 00:14:23,095
YOU KNOW, I SUSPECTED
THAT YOU WERE BACK TOGETHER,
324
00:14:23,195 --> 00:14:25,364
BECAUSE YOU LOOK
JUST SO HAPPY.
YEAH.
325
00:14:25,464 --> 00:14:27,399
YEAH, VERY HAPPY.
I WENT OVER THERE
LAST NIGHT
326
00:14:27,499 --> 00:14:29,969
TO PICK UP
MY SHAVING GEAR,
AND WE TALKED.
327
00:14:30,069 --> 00:14:32,004
MM-HMM.
AH. YOU HAVE SHAVING GEAR?
328
00:14:32,104 --> 00:14:33,806
WHO ARE YOU, SWEENEY TODD?
329
00:14:33,906 --> 00:14:36,442
NO, I GOT ALL THAT STUFF.
I EVEN HAVE THE STROP.
330
00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:38,310
THE STROP?
YEAH. YOU KNOW--
331
00:14:38,410 --> 00:14:40,379
THE LEATHER THING
YOU SHARPEN A BLADE ON,
OH.
332
00:14:40,479 --> 00:14:42,514
GETS YOU A REALLY
CLOSE SHAVE.
YEAH.
333
00:14:42,615 --> 00:14:44,783
YOU OUGHT TO
LOOK INTO IT.
334
00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:46,452
JUST...
335
00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:48,487
I--I BEG YOUR PARDON?
336
00:14:48,587 --> 00:14:50,022
I MEAN, JUST...
337
00:14:50,122 --> 00:14:52,725
OH, I'M SORRY.
THAT WAS A SHADOW.
I'M SORRY. MY BAD.
338
00:14:52,825 --> 00:14:57,196
BUT ANYWAY, THE POINT IS,
SIMONA AND I MADE UP,
AND I MOVED BACK IN.
339
00:14:57,296 --> 00:14:59,365
WELL, I'M SO HAPPY
THAT YOU'RE HAPPY,
340
00:14:59,465 --> 00:15:02,801
AND EDDIE IS GONNA BE
SO HAPPY THAT YOU'RE HAPPY.
341
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:05,771
WELL, SIMONA AND I
ARE BOTH HAPPY
THAT YOU'RE HAPPY FOR US.
342
00:15:05,871 --> 00:15:07,706
AND, UM, WE CAN ALL
BE HAPPY TOGETHER
343
00:15:07,806 --> 00:15:09,808
WHEN YOU TAKE US OUT
TO DINNER TOMORROW NIGHT.
344
00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:11,143
DINNER?
YEAH.
345
00:15:11,243 --> 00:15:13,078
SIMONA SAID
THAT YOU SAID
YOU WANTED TO TAKE US
346
00:15:13,178 --> 00:15:14,446
TO LE PETIT CHATEAU?
AND NOW YOU CAN.
347
00:15:14,546 --> 00:15:16,315
IT'S BACK ON AGAIN.
ISN'T THAT GREAT?
348
00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:18,284
UH, YEAH. IT'S GREAT.
[CHUCKLING]
349
00:15:18,384 --> 00:15:20,519
I MEAN, OF COURSE,
UNLESS THIS WAS ALL A RUSE
AND YOU DIDN'T THINK
350
00:15:20,619 --> 00:15:22,421
THAT WE WOULD ACTUALLY
BE ABLE TO GO THERE.
351
00:15:22,521 --> 00:15:24,089
OH, STOP IT.
ARE YOU KIDDING?
OK.
352
00:15:24,189 --> 00:15:26,225
IT'S A SPECIAL PLACE
FOR A SPECIAL NIGHT.
353
00:15:26,325 --> 00:15:28,427
IT REALLY IS.
BUT YOU KNOW WHERE ELSE
354
00:15:28,527 --> 00:15:32,097
IS...REALLY GREAT?
IS SPAGHETTABOUTIT.
355
00:15:32,197 --> 00:15:34,233
SPAGHETTABOUTIT?
AH, THAT CRAP-HOLE?
356
00:15:34,333 --> 00:15:36,235
YOU'RE FUNNY. SO, UH,
357
00:15:36,335 --> 00:15:38,637
WE WILL SEE YOU
TOMORROW NIGHT, THEN,
AT LE PETIT CHATEAU.
358
00:15:38,737 --> 00:15:42,474
OK. [CHUCKLING]
BRING MONEY.
359
00:15:42,574 --> 00:15:44,877
I'M GONNA GET YOU
THAT STROP.
360
00:15:54,420 --> 00:15:58,524
THAT'S RIGHT.
RESERVATION FOR 4,
7:00 TOMORROW.
361
00:15:58,624 --> 00:16:00,025
THANKS.
362
00:16:00,125 --> 00:16:01,660
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
363
00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:04,396
I WAS JUST MAKING
A RESERVATION
FOR TOMORROW NIGHT
364
00:16:04,496 --> 00:16:06,732
AT LE PETIT CHATEAU.
WHY?
365
00:16:06,832 --> 00:16:09,568
BECAUSE STEPHEN AND SIMONA
GOT BACK TOGETHER.
366
00:16:09,668 --> 00:16:11,937
SO, BECAUSE
THEY'RE BACK TOGETHER,
NOW I'M ON THE HOOK
367
00:16:12,037 --> 00:16:15,641
FOR AN EXPENSIVE MEAL?
HONEY, FOR WHAT IT COSTS
AT LE PETIT CHATEAU,
368
00:16:15,741 --> 00:16:19,478
I COULD BUY A LITTLE HOUSE.
NICE WORK, JOY-JOY.
369
00:16:19,578 --> 00:16:21,413
HEY, IT IS NOT
MY FAULT.
370
00:16:21,513 --> 00:16:23,549
I GOTTA BLAME SOMEBODY.
WHAT HAPPENED?
371
00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:26,852
WELL, APPARENTLY,
STEPHEN WENT OVER THERE
TO PICK UP HIS SHAVING GEAR,
372
00:16:26,952 --> 00:16:28,721
AND THEY JUST
PATCHED THINGS UP.
373
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:32,224
HE'S GOT SHAVING GEAR?
YEAH, INCLUDING A STROP.
374
00:16:32,324 --> 00:16:35,995
WELL, ASK HIM
WHERE HE GOT THAT.
I'LL PICK YOU UP ONE.
375
00:16:36,095 --> 00:16:38,664
EDDIE, I DO NOT
NEED A STROP!
376
00:16:38,764 --> 00:16:40,866
ALL RIGHT. WELL, NO,
IT'S JUST, YOU KNOW--
377
00:16:40,966 --> 00:16:42,468
OK, ALL RIGHT.
378
00:16:42,568 --> 00:16:44,136
YEAH-AH. MAH, MAH.
STOP IT!
379
00:16:44,236 --> 00:16:46,505
ALL RIGHT, COME ON.
380
00:16:46,605 --> 00:16:48,107
JUST TEASING.
381
00:16:51,643 --> 00:16:54,013
AND ANYWAY,
STEPHEN MOVED BACK IN, SO...
382
00:16:54,113 --> 00:16:55,681
ALL RIGHT.
WELL, GOOD FOR THEM.
383
00:16:55,781 --> 00:16:57,483
ONE THING
I CAN TELL YOU, BABY,
384
00:16:57,583 --> 00:16:59,485
YOU NEVER GOTTA WORRY
ABOUT ME MOVING OUT,
385
00:16:59,585 --> 00:17:01,286
MY BABY LOVE.
OOH, REALLY?
386
00:17:01,387 --> 00:17:02,788
ABSOLUTELY.
AW.
387
00:17:02,888 --> 00:17:04,690
YEAH, WE ARE GOOD TOGETHER,
AREN'T WE?
YES, WE ARE.
388
00:17:04,790 --> 00:17:07,593
IN A WILDLY
DYSFUNCTIONAL WAY,
WE'RE THE BEST.
389
00:17:07,693 --> 00:17:10,729
MMM. IMAGINE IF
EITHER OF US
GOT OUR ACT TOGETHER.
390
00:17:10,829 --> 00:17:13,599
THIS WHOLE RELATIONSHIP
WOULD FALL APART.
391
00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:15,467
WELL, I DON'T THINK
THAT'S EVER GONNA HAPPEN,
392
00:17:15,567 --> 00:17:19,204
BECAUSE YOU'RE AS
DISTURBED AND DAMAGED AS
THE FIRST DAY I MET YOU.
393
00:17:19,304 --> 00:17:21,340
YOU FLATTERER.
394
00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:23,609
HA HA HA!
GIVE ME A LITTLE
SUGAR, BABY.
395
00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:25,711
MWAH.
396
00:17:31,550 --> 00:17:32,918
HOW YOU DOIN'?
397
00:17:33,018 --> 00:17:35,387
B-BETTER...I THINK.
398
00:17:35,487 --> 00:17:38,190
SHE SAID THE PILLS
WOULD TAKE A WHILE
TO START WORKING,
399
00:17:38,290 --> 00:17:41,326
SO I'VE BEEN USING
THE COPING TECHNIQUES
THAT SHE SHOWED ME.
400
00:17:41,427 --> 00:17:42,528
GOOD.
401
00:17:42,628 --> 00:17:44,496
I WANT YOU
TO BE BACK TO NORMAL.
402
00:17:44,596 --> 00:17:47,800
YEAH, ME, TOO--
WHATEVER NORMAL IS.
403
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:50,002
NORMAL IS WHERE
WE LIVE OUR LIVES NORMALLY,
404
00:17:50,102 --> 00:17:53,038
AND WE DON'T QUESTION
WHAT'S REAL AND ISN'T REAL.
405
00:17:53,138 --> 00:17:54,740
REALLY?
406
00:17:56,742 --> 00:17:58,077
YEAH.
407
00:17:58,177 --> 00:17:59,845
LET'S FACE IT, DOUG.
408
00:17:59,945 --> 00:18:02,414
THERE'S NO REAL ANSWER
TO THAT QUESTION.
409
00:18:02,514 --> 00:18:05,217
THE BEST THING WE CAN DO
IS ENJOY LIFE NOW,
410
00:18:05,317 --> 00:18:07,519
BECAUSE NOW IS ALL WE GOT.
HEH.
411
00:18:07,619 --> 00:18:09,788
I'M SO LUCKY
TO HAVE YOU IN MY LIFE.
412
00:18:09,888 --> 00:18:13,292
OH, SEE, LOOK.
YOU KEEP THINKING LIKE THAT,
EVERYTHING IS GONNA BE FINE.
413
00:18:13,392 --> 00:18:15,761
YEAH. I MEAN IT.
THANK YOU.
414
00:18:17,563 --> 00:18:19,798
THERE'S CHOCOLATE-COVERED
DOUGHNUTS IN THE HOUSE.
415
00:18:19,898 --> 00:18:22,768
HOW ABOUT I GO GET US SOME?
THAT WOULD BE GREAT.
416
00:18:22,868 --> 00:18:25,170
OK. BE RIGHT BACK.
OK. OK.
417
00:18:32,144 --> 00:18:35,414
HEY, I-I'M GONNA
MISS YOU GUYS.
418
00:18:35,514 --> 00:18:37,549
HEY, BEFORE
THESE DRUGS KICK IN,
419
00:18:37,649 --> 00:18:41,653
HOW ABOUT
ONE LAST BIG LAUGH
FOR OLD TIMES' SAKE?
420
00:18:41,753 --> 00:18:45,424
[LAUGHTER]
421
00:18:45,524 --> 00:18:47,960
WHOA! HEH HEH HEH.
422
00:18:50,696 --> 00:18:52,531
ALL RIGHT, TO YOUR
ANNIVERSARY.
423
00:18:52,631 --> 00:18:54,333
MAY THERE BE
MANY MORE.
424
00:18:54,433 --> 00:18:55,634
[ALL CHUCKLE]
425
00:18:55,734 --> 00:18:57,503
ACTUALLY,
WE SPLIT UP EARLIER
THIS AFTERNOON.
426
00:18:57,603 --> 00:18:59,671
WE'RE JUST HERE
FOR THE FREE MEAL.
427
00:18:59,771 --> 00:19:01,907
WHAT?
REALLY?
428
00:19:02,007 --> 00:19:04,409
OF COURSE NOT.
WE'RE TIGHTER NOW
THAN WE'VE EVER BEEN.
429
00:19:04,510 --> 00:19:06,378
RIGHT, BABY? [CHUCKLING]
[CHUCKLING] THAT'S TRUE.
430
00:19:06,478 --> 00:19:08,313
WE'RE LIKE TEENAGERS.
THAT'S RIGHT--
431
00:19:08,413 --> 00:19:10,349
COMPLETELY CONFUSED,
ALWAYS SELF-ABSORBED,
432
00:19:10,449 --> 00:19:12,651
AND CHRONICALLY
RUBBING ONE OUT.
433
00:19:12,751 --> 00:19:15,754
WHAT DO I LOVE?
DIS RIGHT HERE.
434
00:19:15,854 --> 00:19:17,990
HO HO HO!
HEH YEH YEH YEH!
435
00:19:18,090 --> 00:19:19,625
UH, WATCH IT
WITH THE LAUGH, HONEY.
436
00:19:19,725 --> 00:19:21,793
YOU DON'T WANNA ANNOY
THE BIG GUY.
WHAT?
437
00:19:21,894 --> 00:19:23,996
YEAH, HE DOESN'T LIKE
THAT LAUGH OF YOURS.
RIGHT, EDDIE?
438
00:19:24,096 --> 00:19:25,831
I MEAN, YOU SAID
IT WAS LIKE A CACKLE.
439
00:19:25,931 --> 00:19:27,733
YOU SAID IT WAS LIKE
RAZOR BLADES ON YOUR SPINE.
440
00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:29,635
WH-WHAT? NO.
EDDIE...
441
00:19:29,735 --> 00:19:32,104
YOU SAID THAT?
NO, OF COURSE
NOT. I WOULD NEVER--
442
00:19:32,204 --> 00:19:33,939
YEAH, YOU DID.
A-ALL RIGHT.
443
00:19:34,039 --> 00:19:37,543
I SAID SOMETHING LIKE THAT
BECAUSE I WAS TRYING TO BE
SUPPORTIVE OF STEPHEN.
444
00:19:37,643 --> 00:19:40,812
YEAH, I DID NOT AGREE
WITH HIM AT ALL.
I LOVE YOUR LAUGH, HONEY.
445
00:19:40,913 --> 00:19:45,717
THANK YOU. AND I DON'T MIND
ANY OF THE STUFF THAT
JOY FINDS ANNOYING ABOUT YOU.
446
00:19:45,817 --> 00:19:48,420
I--I DON'T FIND
ANYTHING ANNOYING
447
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:50,455
ABOUT STEPHEN.
I DIDN'T--
448
00:19:50,556 --> 00:19:52,124
OH, SURE YOU DID.
449
00:19:52,224 --> 00:19:54,927
YOU SAID HE STICKS
HIS FINGER IN HIS EAR
LIKE A LITTLE A HILLBILLY.
450
00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:56,762
OH, HONEY!
I--I--
451
00:19:56,862 --> 00:19:59,798
WHOO-EE! I DONE
TOUCHED MY BRAIN!
452
00:19:59,898 --> 00:20:01,633
HEH YEH YEH YEH!
HA HA!
453
00:20:01,733 --> 00:20:03,635
LISTEN, I DIDN'T
MEAN ANYTHING BY IT.
454
00:20:03,735 --> 00:20:05,637
I WAS JUST BEING
SUPPORTIVE OF SIMONA.
455
00:20:05,737 --> 00:20:07,606
OH, YEAH, YOU WERE BEING
REAL SUPPORTIVE.
456
00:20:07,706 --> 00:20:09,508
SHE SAID NOW THAT
I'M RID OF YOU,
457
00:20:09,608 --> 00:20:11,243
I COULD GET LUCKY
WITH LOTS OF MEN!
458
00:20:11,343 --> 00:20:13,312
MMM.
UH, THAT'S A COMPLIMENT.
459
00:20:13,412 --> 00:20:15,614
I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT.
460
00:20:15,714 --> 00:20:17,583
HOW ELSE COULD YOU
HAVE MEANT IT?
OHH.
461
00:20:17,683 --> 00:20:19,818
SHE'S A WHORE, AND I'M
A HILLBILLY JACKASS.
462
00:20:19,918 --> 00:20:22,554
ALL RIGHT, LOOK.
I DON'T THINK WE KNOW
SIMONA WELL ENOUGH
463
00:20:22,654 --> 00:20:24,590
TO DECIDE WHETHER
SHE'S A WHORE OR NOT.
464
00:20:24,690 --> 00:20:28,193
BUT I CAN CERTAINLY SAY
THAT WHEN YOU DO STICK YOUR
PINKIE IN YOUR MELON, STEPHEN,
465
00:20:28,293 --> 00:20:30,362
YOU DO LOOK LIKE
A HILLBILLY JACKASS.
466
00:20:30,462 --> 00:20:31,663
EDDIE! STOP IT.
WELL, NO, HE DOES.
467
00:20:31,763 --> 00:20:33,565
TRUTH BE TOLD,
THE REASON I DO THAT
468
00:20:33,665 --> 00:20:35,400
IS I'M OVERACTIVE
PRODUCER OF EARWAX.
469
00:20:35,500 --> 00:20:38,904
IT'S TRUE.
HE SUPPLIES MADAME TUSSAUDS.
470
00:20:39,004 --> 00:20:42,741
HEY, HALF OF
JAY LENO'S CHIN
CAME OUT OF THIS EAR.
471
00:20:42,841 --> 00:20:45,043
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
NOW YOU'RE MESSING
WITH US, RIGHT?
472
00:20:45,143 --> 00:20:46,778
OH, MAYBE JUST
A LITTLE BIT.
473
00:20:46,878 --> 00:20:47,980
[ALL CHUCKLING]
474
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,015
HEY, ANOTHER TOAST--
TO DRUNKIE AND GIGANTOR.
475
00:20:50,115 --> 00:20:51,717
OH. NICE.
HO HO HO!
476
00:20:51,817 --> 00:20:53,652
TO THE WHORE
AND THE HILLBILLY.
477
00:20:53,752 --> 00:20:55,020
OH! TOUCHE.
478
00:20:55,120 --> 00:20:56,722
CHEERS.
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY.
479
00:20:56,822 --> 00:20:58,457
THANK YOU.
480
00:20:58,557 --> 00:21:02,027
{\an8}WELL, THAT CAN
NEVER HAPPEN,
BECAUSE YOU'RE AS...
481
00:21:02,127 --> 00:21:05,530
{\an8}DISINFECTANT AND...
[CHUCKLING]
482
00:21:05,631 --> 00:21:07,799
{\an8}HEH HEH.
483
00:21:07,899 --> 00:21:09,735
{\an8}WELL, TRUTH BE TOLD,
THE REASON I DO THAT
484
00:21:09,835 --> 00:21:12,471
{\an8}IS BECAUSE
I'M AN OVERACTOR--
485
00:21:12,571 --> 00:21:14,339
{\an8}[ALL CHUCKLING]
486
00:21:14,439 --> 00:21:16,241
{\an8}I KEEP--AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
I KEEP THINKING THAT WE'RE
487
00:21:16,341 --> 00:21:17,676
{\an8}GONNA GET TIRED OF--
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
488
00:21:17,776 --> 00:21:19,177
{\an8}OH, YOU WANT TO DO YOUR THING
AGAIN? OK.
PLEASE.
489
00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:20,512
{\an8}I'M JUST TRYING TO GET
THE LINES GOING.
OK.
490
00:21:20,612 --> 00:21:21,713
{\an8}DO YOUR THING.
491
00:21:21,813 --> 00:21:24,549
{\an8}THANK YOU.
NO, NOT LIKE THAT.
492
00:21:24,650 --> 00:21:25,884
{\an8}[CHUCKLING]
40081
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