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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:00,233 {\an8}E 2 00:00:00,233 --> 00:00:00,266 {\an8}E I 3 00:00:00,266 --> 00:00:00,300 {\an8}E I ZI 4 00:00:00,300 --> 00:00:00,367 {\an8}E I ZIG, 5 00:00:00,367 --> 00:00:00,400 {\an8}E I ZIG, YO 6 00:00:00,400 --> 00:00:00,433 {\an8}E I ZIG, YOU 7 00:00:00,433 --> 00:00:00,467 {\an8}E I ZIG, YOU ZA 8 00:00:00,467 --> 00:00:00,500 {\an8}E I ZIG, YOU ZAG 9 00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:00,533 {\an8}E I ZIG, YOU ZAG ♪ 10 00:00:02,769 --> 00:00:06,006 ♪ I LIKE COFFEE, TEA'S YOUR BAG ♪ 11 00:00:06,106 --> 00:00:08,208 ♪ THOUGH IT MAKES NO SENSE, IT'S TRUE ♪ 12 00:00:08,308 --> 00:00:10,744 ♪ THERE'S NO ME WITHOUT YOU ♪ 13 00:00:10,844 --> 00:00:16,016 {\an8}Brad Garrett: 'TIL DEATH IS FILMED IN FRONT OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE. 14 00:00:16,116 --> 00:00:18,551 {\an8}[LOUD SNORING] 15 00:01:00,593 --> 00:01:03,063 {\an8}WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! 16 00:01:03,163 --> 00:01:05,131 {\an8}PLEASE, PLEASE, DON'T HURT ME. 17 00:01:05,231 --> 00:01:06,933 {\an8}SHE HANDLES THE MONEY! 18 00:01:10,437 --> 00:01:12,472 {\an8}EDDIE, IT'S KENNY. 19 00:01:15,375 --> 00:01:18,545 {\an8}WHAT-WHAT-- IS EVERYTHING OK? 20 00:01:18,645 --> 00:01:19,946 {\an8}NO, EVERYTHING IS NOT OK. 21 00:01:20,046 --> 00:01:21,281 {\an8}THERE'S AN UNGODLY SOUND 22 00:01:21,381 --> 00:01:24,084 {\an8}COMING FROM YOUR DAMN HEAD. 23 00:01:24,184 --> 00:01:26,419 {\an8}WAS I SNORING? 24 00:01:26,519 --> 00:01:28,288 {\an8}SNORING IS HUMAN. THIS SOUNDED LIKE 25 00:01:28,388 --> 00:01:30,890 {\an8}A FERRET AND A WEASEL MAKING LOVE, 26 00:01:30,990 --> 00:01:32,992 {\an8}REAL ANGRY, ANGRY AND VIOLENT, 27 00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:34,360 {\an8}LIKE THE WEASEL SLEPT WITH 28 00:01:34,461 --> 00:01:36,696 {\an8}THE FERRET'S ROOMMATE OR SOMETHING. 29 00:01:36,796 --> 00:01:37,897 {\an8}KENNY... 30 00:01:37,997 --> 00:01:39,399 {\an8}YOU CAN'T COME BARGING IN HERE LIKE THAT. 31 00:01:39,499 --> 00:01:43,169 {\an8}IT'S 2 A.M. HOW DO YOU KNOW I WASN'T NAKED? 32 00:01:43,269 --> 00:01:44,604 PLEASE. WITH THE SHIRTS YOU WEAR, 33 00:01:44,704 --> 00:01:46,172 I'VE SEEN YOUR BOSOM MORE OFTEN 34 00:01:46,272 --> 00:01:48,041 THAN I'VE SEEN MY COUSIN JIMMY. 35 00:01:48,141 --> 00:01:50,944 AND ME AND JIMMY ARE SUPER-TIGHT. 36 00:01:51,044 --> 00:01:52,679 MAYBE YOU CAN PACK YOUR SUPER-SUITCASE 37 00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:56,282 AND MOVE IN WITH YOUR COUSIN, SUPER-TIGHT JIMMY. 38 00:01:56,382 --> 00:01:59,252 SUPER-TIGHT JIMMY HAS GOT A SUPER- SERIOUS GIRLFRIEND, 39 00:01:59,352 --> 00:02:01,321 AND SHE'S SUPER-MEAN. 40 00:02:05,191 --> 00:02:06,526 WELL, MAYBE YOU HAVE TO HAVE 41 00:02:06,626 --> 00:02:07,594 A SUPER-SERIOUS CONVERSATION-- 42 00:02:07,694 --> 00:02:08,661 STOP IT! THAT'S ENOUGH! 43 00:02:08,761 --> 00:02:10,597 ONE SUPER-SWING OF THIS BAT, 44 00:02:10,697 --> 00:02:14,200 AND I COULD TAKE YOU BOTH OUT. 45 00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:16,436 NOW GIT! 46 00:02:21,374 --> 00:02:23,877 Eddie: JOY, WHERE'S MY BROWN BELT? 47 00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:25,311 CHECK YOUR PANTS. 48 00:02:25,411 --> 00:02:26,513 I ALREADY DID. IT'S NOT THERE. 49 00:02:26,613 --> 00:02:27,680 CHECK YOUR OTHER PANTS. 50 00:02:27,780 --> 00:02:32,819 I DON'T HAVE TO-- ALL RIGHT. 51 00:02:34,454 --> 00:02:37,524 ARE YOU STILL USING THAT FABRIC SOFTENER? 52 00:02:37,624 --> 00:02:38,525 YEAH. WHY? 53 00:02:38,625 --> 00:02:39,659 BECAUSE I HATE IT. 54 00:02:39,759 --> 00:02:42,896 IT SMELLS LIKE I'M WEARING A BABY. 55 00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:44,464 YOU KNOW WHAT THE PROBLEM IS, MAN? 56 00:02:44,564 --> 00:02:46,499 YOU'RE NOT GETTING ENOUGH QUALITY SLEEP. 57 00:02:46,599 --> 00:02:48,635 OH, YOU THINK? COULD IT POSSIBLY BE 58 00:02:48,735 --> 00:02:50,069 THAT I WAS VISITED LAST NIGHT 59 00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:53,606 BY A 40-YEAR-OLD BLACK SLEEP FAIRY? 60 00:02:53,706 --> 00:02:55,875 WHY YOU GOT TO TURN THIS RACIAL, MAN? 61 00:02:55,975 --> 00:02:57,310 KENNY'S RIGHT, EDDIE. 62 00:02:57,410 --> 00:02:58,811 YOU'RE LIKE THIS EVERY MORNING. 63 00:02:58,912 --> 00:03:00,346 YOU NEVER GET A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP 64 00:03:00,446 --> 00:03:02,182 BECAUSE YOU'RE ALWAYS SNORING. 65 00:03:02,282 --> 00:03:04,884 THAT'S PROBABLY WHY EVERYBODY THINKS YOU'RE A BIG JERK. 66 00:03:04,984 --> 00:03:06,186 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 67 00:03:06,286 --> 00:03:09,022 YOU KNOW, NOBODY LIKES YOU. 68 00:03:09,122 --> 00:03:10,723 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 69 00:03:10,823 --> 00:03:12,759 YOUR AWFUL PERSONALITY. 70 00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:15,495 THIS CAN'T BE NEWS TO YOU. 71 00:03:15,595 --> 00:03:17,530 [DOORBELL RINGS] OH, COME ON. 72 00:03:17,630 --> 00:03:20,333 THAT IS CRAZY. PEOPLE LOVE ME. 73 00:03:20,433 --> 00:03:22,302 HUH? 74 00:03:22,402 --> 00:03:23,903 HEY, RAJ. 75 00:03:24,003 --> 00:03:25,471 OH, HELLO. 76 00:03:25,572 --> 00:03:26,806 HOW ARE YOU? 77 00:03:26,906 --> 00:03:29,342 HERE. COME ON IN. 78 00:03:29,442 --> 00:03:32,679 COME ON, RAJ. 79 00:03:32,779 --> 00:03:33,846 RAJ LIKES ME. 80 00:03:33,947 --> 00:03:35,982 YOU SEE, HE'S ALWAYS BRINGING ME STUFF, 81 00:03:36,082 --> 00:03:37,584 ASKING ME FOR MY AUTOGRAPH. 82 00:03:37,684 --> 00:03:38,985 YOU LIKE ME, DON'T YOU, RAJ? 83 00:03:39,085 --> 00:03:42,455 I'D LIKE...YOU TO SIGN FOR THE PACKAGE. 84 00:03:42,555 --> 00:03:43,389 OK. 85 00:03:43,489 --> 00:03:44,691 ALL RIGHT. HA HA HA. 86 00:03:44,791 --> 00:03:46,192 BUT WE'RE BUDS, RIGHT? 87 00:03:46,292 --> 00:03:48,962 NO. 88 00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:50,129 THE TRUTH IS, 89 00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:51,798 NO ONE WANTS TO DELIVER TO YOU, 90 00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:57,670 BUT BRENDA CAN DO THREE MORE PUSHUPS THAN I CAN. 91 00:03:57,770 --> 00:04:02,875 YOU SMELL LIKE A BABY. 92 00:04:02,976 --> 00:04:05,144 YOU SEE, EVEN RAJ DOESN'T LIKE YOU. 93 00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:06,779 IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE SO CRANKY. 94 00:04:06,879 --> 00:04:08,114 YOU SHOULD GO TO A SLEEP CLINIC. 95 00:04:08,214 --> 00:04:09,616 HEY, THAT'S A GOOD IDEA. 96 00:04:09,716 --> 00:04:11,251 LET THEM TELL YOU WHAT YOU'RE DOING WRONG. 97 00:04:11,351 --> 00:04:14,120 WHAT I'M DOING WRONG SLEEPING? 98 00:04:14,220 --> 00:04:16,522 OK. SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT. 99 00:04:16,623 --> 00:04:19,359 YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT I'M DOING IN BED, 100 00:04:19,459 --> 00:04:21,127 EVEN WHEN I'M UNCONSCIOUS? 101 00:04:21,227 --> 00:04:23,630 I JUST WANT YOU TO BE THE BEST YOU CAN BE. 102 00:04:23,730 --> 00:04:25,331 ALL RIGHT. YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU'RE A NICE KID. 103 00:04:25,431 --> 00:04:28,534 BUT YOU HAVE TO REALIZE I'M NOT GONNA BE GETTING ANY BETTER. 104 00:04:28,635 --> 00:04:31,471 THE CLAY IS DRY. 105 00:04:31,571 --> 00:04:34,340 GOD IS FINISHED WITH ME 106 00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:36,643 THIS IS A SERIOUS HEALTH ISSUE, MAN. 107 00:04:36,743 --> 00:04:37,910 IT'S CALLED SLEEP APNEA. 108 00:04:38,011 --> 00:04:39,846 YOU STOP BREATHING IN YOUR SLEEP. 109 00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:41,414 YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. 110 00:04:41,514 --> 00:04:42,715 I KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. 111 00:04:42,815 --> 00:04:44,784 YOU KNOW THAT NOISE YOU MAKE AT NIGHT... 112 00:04:44,884 --> 00:04:47,920 [IMITATING LOUD SNORING] 113 00:04:53,626 --> 00:04:56,596 THAT'S NOT CALLED BREATHING. 114 00:04:57,630 --> 00:04:59,132 IT'S CALLED DYING. 115 00:05:07,373 --> 00:05:08,908 GOOD MORNING. 116 00:05:09,008 --> 00:05:10,243 NOT REALLY. 117 00:05:10,343 --> 00:05:12,278 REMEMBER THAT SWEET OLD COUPLE, THE PUTNAMS, 118 00:05:12,378 --> 00:05:14,113 THAT WE BOOKED ON THE SENIORS CRUISE? 119 00:05:14,213 --> 00:05:16,349 YEAH. ABOUT YAY HIGH, MATCHING TRACK SUITS. 120 00:05:16,449 --> 00:05:19,852 HIS BREASTS WERE BIGGER THAN HERS. 121 00:05:19,952 --> 00:05:21,421 YEAH. WELL, IT TURNS OUT THAT THE CRUISE 122 00:05:21,521 --> 00:05:22,755 WASN'T FOR SENIOR CITIZENS. 123 00:05:22,855 --> 00:05:24,090 IT WAS FOR SENIORS IN HIGH SCHOOL. 124 00:05:24,190 --> 00:05:25,958 THEY SPENT A WEEK AT SEA WITH 2000 125 00:05:26,059 --> 00:05:28,027 DRUNK AND HORNY TEENAGERS. 126 00:05:28,127 --> 00:05:31,964 DID THEY HAVE AN AWESOME TIME? 127 00:05:32,065 --> 00:05:34,567 THEY'RE SUING US, AND THEY'RE NAMING YOU 128 00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:35,868 AS THE PERSON RESPONSIBLE. 129 00:05:35,968 --> 00:05:38,271 WAIT. I DIDN'T BOOK THIS CRUISE. STU DID. 130 00:05:38,371 --> 00:05:40,073 OH, COME ON, JOY. AT THE END OF THE DAY, 131 00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:42,542 WHO REALLY KNOWS WHO'S RESPONSIBLE? 132 00:05:42,642 --> 00:05:45,111 I DO. YOU ARE. 133 00:05:45,211 --> 00:05:46,946 UNFORTUNATELY, JOY, YOU'RE HIS SUPERVISOR. 134 00:05:47,046 --> 00:05:48,348 SO TECHNICALLY YOU'RE RESPONSIBLE 135 00:05:48,448 --> 00:05:49,782 FOR ANYTHING THAT HE DOES, 136 00:05:49,882 --> 00:05:52,518 NO MATTER HOW BIG AN IDIOT HE IS. 137 00:05:52,618 --> 00:05:53,986 THANK YOU, BETH. 138 00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:56,222 OH, I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. 139 00:05:56,322 --> 00:05:57,824 WELL, BELIEVE IT. YOUR DEPOSITION'S ON FRIDAY. 140 00:05:57,924 --> 00:06:02,295 BUMMER. SOMEBODY'S GOING TO LADY PRISON. 141 00:06:02,395 --> 00:06:06,265 HEY, LOOK AT ME. I WILL WAIT FOR YOU. 142 00:06:24,484 --> 00:06:27,787 HELLO, CLARICE. 143 00:06:27,887 --> 00:06:33,159 I CAN SMELL YOU STANDING THERE ON YOUR 99 CENT SHOES. 144 00:06:33,259 --> 00:06:35,061 HELLO, MR. STARK. 145 00:06:35,161 --> 00:06:37,063 MY NAME'S SANDY. 146 00:06:37,163 --> 00:06:38,331 HI. 147 00:06:38,431 --> 00:06:40,400 WELCOME TO GRABOWSKI INSTITUTE OF SLEEP TECHNOLOGY. 148 00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:43,302 OH. SO IS THIS THE PLACE WHERE THEY KNOCK YOU OUT 149 00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:45,772 AND HARVEST YOUR ORGANS? HA HA HA. 150 00:06:45,872 --> 00:06:50,777 OH, NO. THAT GUY GOT FIRED. 151 00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:54,614 I'M JUST GOING TO MONITOR YOUR SLEEP. 152 00:06:54,714 --> 00:06:56,582 SO IF YOU WANT TO TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRT, 153 00:06:56,682 --> 00:06:59,452 I'M GOING TO HOOK THESE ELECTRODES UP 154 00:06:59,552 --> 00:07:00,753 TO YOUR BODY. 155 00:07:00,853 --> 00:07:03,389 OK. SO YOU'RE A DOCTOR, ARE YOU, SANDY? 156 00:07:03,489 --> 00:07:07,093 OH, GOD, NO. I'M IN COLLEGE. 157 00:07:07,193 --> 00:07:08,294 OH. PRE-MED? 158 00:07:08,394 --> 00:07:11,364 JEWELRY DESIGN. 159 00:07:11,464 --> 00:07:14,333 LIFE-SAVING JEWELRY DESIGN OR... 160 00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:16,302 OH, NO. MOSTLY JUST BEADS AND STUFF. 161 00:07:16,402 --> 00:07:19,639 BUT DON'T WORRY. I'VE BEEN FULLY TRAINED. 162 00:07:19,739 --> 00:07:20,973 WELL, EXCEPT IN CPR. 163 00:07:21,073 --> 00:07:24,410 SO DON'T GO A-CHOKING. 164 00:07:24,510 --> 00:07:27,113 WHA--WHAT--OK. 165 00:07:27,213 --> 00:07:30,516 IT'S ALIVE! 166 00:07:31,851 --> 00:07:34,754 THAT'S FROM FRANKENSTEIN. 167 00:07:38,491 --> 00:07:41,461 WOW. YOU ARE SO HAIRY. 168 00:07:44,197 --> 00:07:45,765 THANK YOU. 169 00:07:45,865 --> 00:07:48,468 AND YOUR NIPPLES ARE WAY BIGGER THAN MY BOYFRIEND'S. 170 00:07:48,568 --> 00:07:52,672 YOU SHOULD SEE THEM AT CHRISTMAS. 171 00:07:52,772 --> 00:07:57,143 OK. SO NOW I'M JUST GOING TO ASK YOU A COUPLE QUESTIONS. 172 00:07:57,243 --> 00:08:01,681 OK. DO YOU USUALLY SLEEP ON YOUR BACK, STOMACH, OR SIDE? 173 00:08:01,781 --> 00:08:02,915 WELL, ACTUALLY ALL THREE. 174 00:08:03,015 --> 00:08:05,084 I'M LIKE A ROTISSERIE CHICKEN. HA HA! 175 00:08:05,184 --> 00:08:09,322 OH, I GET IT. BECAUSE THEY GO AROUND AND AROUND. 176 00:08:13,659 --> 00:08:17,830 YOU DON'T MAKE ME FEEL SAFE. 177 00:08:20,032 --> 00:08:22,835 [SNORING] 178 00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:30,076 EDDIE. 179 00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:32,445 GRANDMOTHER? 180 00:08:32,545 --> 00:08:37,683 IT'S SANDY. CAN YOU SLEEP ON YOUR SIDE, PLEASE? 181 00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:42,021 SURE. 182 00:08:42,121 --> 00:08:43,823 WHERE ARE YOU? 183 00:08:43,923 --> 00:08:47,393 I'M IN AN OBSERVATION ROOM NEARBY. 184 00:08:47,493 --> 00:08:48,828 SO YOU CAN SEE ME? 185 00:08:48,928 --> 00:08:50,796 YES. 186 00:08:50,897 --> 00:08:53,332 HOW MANY FINGERS AM I HOLDING UP? 187 00:08:53,432 --> 00:08:54,333 TWO. 188 00:08:54,433 --> 00:08:55,535 TWO. EVERYONE GUESSES TWO. 189 00:08:55,635 --> 00:08:59,305 WELL... HOW ABOUT NOW? 190 00:08:59,405 --> 00:09:01,541 ONE, FOUR, THREE. 191 00:09:01,641 --> 00:09:05,912 THAT'S A BUNNY. 192 00:09:06,012 --> 00:09:09,682 SO...SO THE CAMERA'S BEEN ON THE WHOLE TIME? 193 00:09:09,782 --> 00:09:11,951 YES, IT HAS. 194 00:09:12,051 --> 00:09:13,986 SO YOU SAW WHEN I... 195 00:09:14,086 --> 00:09:16,722 YES, I DID, SIR. 196 00:09:25,164 --> 00:09:26,132 SO, HOW DID IT GO? 197 00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:27,567 GOOD. YEAH? 198 00:09:27,667 --> 00:09:31,270 NO. IT WAS TERRIFYING, HUMILIATING, COLD, 199 00:09:31,370 --> 00:09:33,272 AND I WEPT ON CAMERA. 200 00:09:33,372 --> 00:09:36,375 DID THEY AT LEAST FIGURE OUT WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? 201 00:09:36,475 --> 00:09:38,110 THEY DID, HONEY. YES, THEY DID. 202 00:09:38,210 --> 00:09:39,745 THEY COLLECTED ALL THE DATA, 203 00:09:39,845 --> 00:09:41,047 AND THEY GAVE IT TO A GROUP OF GERMAN SCIENTISTS 204 00:09:41,147 --> 00:09:42,448 WHO THEN TOOK THE INFORMATION, 205 00:09:42,548 --> 00:09:44,350 PUT IT INTO A COMPUTER THAT WAS SO POWERFUL 206 00:09:44,450 --> 00:09:46,686 IT HAD THE ABILITY TO LOVE. 207 00:09:46,786 --> 00:09:50,556 AND THEY FOUND A SOLUTION TO MY PROBLEM. 208 00:09:50,656 --> 00:09:51,457 SEE? 209 00:09:51,557 --> 00:09:52,858 WHAT IS THAT? A NASAL STRIP? 210 00:09:52,959 --> 00:09:55,928 THE NOSE-BE-OPEN PLUS, WITH ALOE. 211 00:09:56,028 --> 00:10:01,434 A $500 CONSULTATION FOR A 25-CENT PIECE OF TAPE. 212 00:10:01,534 --> 00:10:02,602 YOU THINK IT'LL WORK? 213 00:10:02,702 --> 00:10:06,005 NO, I DO NOT THINK IT WILL WORK! 214 00:10:58,557 --> 00:11:01,193 WHOA. 215 00:11:01,293 --> 00:11:02,628 WHAT? 216 00:11:02,728 --> 00:11:05,297 NOTHING. YOU JUST LOOK REALLY, REALLY... 217 00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:06,732 PRETTY RIGHT NOW. 218 00:11:06,832 --> 00:11:09,068 FOR YOUR INFORMATION, I DIDN'T SLEEP ALL NIGHT. 219 00:11:09,168 --> 00:11:10,636 I HAVE GOT A THROBBING HEADACHE. 220 00:11:10,736 --> 00:11:15,508 I'D JUST LIKE TO SIT HERE AND EAT MY BREAKFAST IN PEACE. 221 00:11:15,608 --> 00:11:18,611 GOOD MORNING, VIETNAM! 222 00:11:18,711 --> 00:11:20,079 [CLAPS] HA HA! 223 00:11:20,179 --> 00:11:25,985 AND A KISS FOR MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE. 224 00:11:26,085 --> 00:11:27,153 [KISS] 225 00:11:27,253 --> 00:11:30,156 AND A SOCIALLY PROGRESSIVE MAN KISS 226 00:11:30,256 --> 00:11:32,258 FOR MY BALD-HEADED HOUSEMATE. 227 00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:34,260 [KISS] 228 00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:36,262 PAH! 229 00:11:37,563 --> 00:11:39,265 WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOU, MAN? 230 00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:43,469 I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S GOING ON WITH ME, MAN. 231 00:11:43,569 --> 00:11:46,038 THIS LITTLE STRIP RIGHT HERE, 232 00:11:46,138 --> 00:11:47,840 THIS LITTLE MAGICAL STRIP 233 00:11:47,940 --> 00:11:50,743 THAT HAS GIVEN ME A SLEEP SO DEEP, 234 00:11:50,843 --> 00:11:55,314 SO REJUVENATING THAT FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE, 235 00:11:55,414 --> 00:12:00,786 I FEEL, WELL... GOOD. HA HA HA. 236 00:12:00,886 --> 00:12:04,557 ♪ IN THE JUNGLE, THE MIGHTY JUNGLE ♪ 237 00:12:04,657 --> 00:12:08,461 ♪ THE LION SLEEPS TONIGHT ♪ 238 00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:12,398 ♪ IN THE JUNGLE, THE QUIET JUNGLE ♪ 239 00:12:12,498 --> 00:12:17,536 ♪ THE LION SLEEPS TONIGHT ♪ 240 00:12:24,243 --> 00:12:27,980 ♪ NEAR THE VILLAGE, THE PEACEFUL VILLAGE ♪ 241 00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:33,719 ♪ THE LION SLEEPS TONIGHT ♪ 242 00:12:43,395 --> 00:12:45,197 EDDIE, I'M HOME. 243 00:12:45,297 --> 00:12:46,332 HEY, HEY. 244 00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:47,666 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 245 00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:49,535 A LITTLE SOMETHING THE KIDS CALL JOGGING. 246 00:12:49,635 --> 00:12:51,370 I'M GOING TO GO FOR AN HOUR 247 00:12:51,470 --> 00:12:53,606 OR A MILE, WHICHEVER COMES FIRST. 248 00:12:53,706 --> 00:12:55,708 YOU'RE JOGGING NOW? 249 00:12:55,808 --> 00:12:56,642 YEP. 250 00:12:56,742 --> 00:12:57,843 I'M TELLING YOU, JOY, 251 00:12:57,943 --> 00:12:59,145 THIS SLEEP I'VE BEEN GETTING, 252 00:12:59,245 --> 00:13:01,180 IT'S GIVEN ME THIS WHOLE NEW ENERGY 253 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:02,515 AND EVEN PATIENCE. 254 00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:03,849 SO NOW I'M BECOMING A PEOPLE PERSON. 255 00:13:03,949 --> 00:13:05,217 I WAS ACTUALLY IN LINE AT THE MARKET, 256 00:13:05,317 --> 00:13:06,852 I TURNED AROUND TO THE GUY NEXT TO ME, 257 00:13:06,952 --> 00:13:10,723 AND I GO, "HELLO." HA HA HA! 258 00:13:10,823 --> 00:13:12,358 HONEY, I'M SORRY. 259 00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:14,260 I'VE JUST HAD SUCH A ROUGH WEEK. 260 00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:16,595 OH, LISTEN, HONEY, I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND. 261 00:13:16,695 --> 00:13:19,331 YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NEED, JOY? YOU NEED A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP. 262 00:13:19,431 --> 00:13:21,267 I AM TELLING YOU, WITH SLEEP, 263 00:13:21,367 --> 00:13:23,969 YOU CAN DO ANYTHING, EVEN FLY. 264 00:13:24,069 --> 00:13:26,672 I BELIEVE THAT. 265 00:13:26,772 --> 00:13:27,907 LISTEN, EDDIE, HERE'S THE THING. 266 00:13:28,007 --> 00:13:29,074 YEAH? 267 00:13:29,175 --> 00:13:31,510 I--[AHEM] 268 00:13:31,610 --> 00:13:34,814 I CAN'T SLEEP WITHOUT YOUR SNORING. 269 00:13:34,914 --> 00:13:38,017 I ACTUALLY NEED YOU TO SNORE SO THAT I CAN SLEEP. 270 00:13:38,117 --> 00:13:39,118 IT'S SO STRANGE. 271 00:13:39,218 --> 00:13:41,654 THAT IS STRANGE. STRANGE INDEED. 272 00:13:41,754 --> 00:13:44,757 SO--[AHEM] 273 00:13:44,857 --> 00:13:47,226 HERE WAS-- I WAS WONDERING IF-- 274 00:13:47,326 --> 00:13:50,763 AND I HATE TO ASK IT-- SWEETIE? THIS IS WHAT I WAS-- 275 00:13:50,863 --> 00:13:52,598 COULD YOU STOP IT FOR A SECOND, PLEASE? 276 00:13:52,698 --> 00:13:54,233 OK. OK. 277 00:13:54,333 --> 00:13:56,168 OK. SO I NEED TO TESTIFY 278 00:13:56,268 --> 00:13:57,970 WITH THIS LAWSUIT THING TOMORROW, 279 00:13:58,070 --> 00:14:02,241 AND, UM...AND I DON'T WANT TO BE A COMPLETE ZOMBIE. 280 00:14:02,341 --> 00:14:03,876 SO I WAS WONDERING IF MAYBE YOU WOULD 281 00:14:03,976 --> 00:14:07,046 JUST TAKE THE STRIP OFF FOR JUST ONE NIGHT? 282 00:14:07,146 --> 00:14:09,648 YEAH. THAT DOESN'T WORK FOR ME, HONEY. 283 00:14:09,748 --> 00:14:10,883 WHAT? 284 00:14:10,983 --> 00:14:11,851 WHY NOT? 285 00:14:11,951 --> 00:14:14,753 WELL, JOY, LOOK. 286 00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,155 LOOK, YOU SAID SO YOURSELF. 287 00:14:16,255 --> 00:14:19,191 MY SNORING IS SO BAD THAT I STOP BREATHING. 288 00:14:19,291 --> 00:14:21,994 NO BREATHING, NO AIR. NO AIR, NO LIFE. 289 00:14:22,094 --> 00:14:26,866 NO LIFE, NO EDDIE. 290 00:14:26,966 --> 00:14:27,833 WAIT. NO. 291 00:14:27,933 --> 00:14:30,469 COME ON. COME ON, BABY. COME ON. 292 00:14:30,569 --> 00:14:32,204 I AM ADDICTED TO YOUR SNORING, BABY. 293 00:14:32,304 --> 00:14:33,806 I DON'T NEED YOU TO DO IT ALL NIGHT. 294 00:14:33,906 --> 00:14:35,140 I JUST NEED ONE LITTLE TASTE. 295 00:14:35,241 --> 00:14:37,243 PLEASE, JOY-JOY NEEDS TO GET WELL. PLEASE. 296 00:14:37,343 --> 00:14:40,346 OK, BRING IT DOWN, WINEHOUSE. 297 00:14:40,446 --> 00:14:42,882 UH... 298 00:14:42,982 --> 00:14:45,851 LOOK, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I'LL DO. 299 00:14:45,951 --> 00:14:47,453 WITH MY NEWFOUND ENERGY, 300 00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:49,488 I WILL COME BACK HERE LATER, 301 00:14:49,588 --> 00:14:50,789 AND I WILL MAKE LOVE TO YOU 302 00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:53,158 FOR AN EXTRA THREE TO SEVEN MINUTES. 303 00:14:53,259 --> 00:14:55,094 AND IF THAT DOESN'T PUT YOU TO SLEEP, 304 00:14:55,194 --> 00:14:57,496 YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN BECAUSE I'LL BE OUT LIKE A LIGHT. 305 00:14:57,596 --> 00:15:01,567 OK? HA HA HA. 306 00:15:06,171 --> 00:15:08,173 NOW, MRS. PUTNAM, DO YOU RECALL 307 00:15:08,274 --> 00:15:10,142 WHO BOOKED YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND 308 00:15:10,242 --> 00:15:14,880 ON A CRUISE WITH 2000 GRADUATING HIGH-SCHOOL SENIORS? 309 00:15:14,980 --> 00:15:15,848 HER. 310 00:15:15,948 --> 00:15:19,084 ARE WE DONE? 311 00:15:19,184 --> 00:15:20,753 NO? 312 00:15:20,853 --> 00:15:22,688 PLEASE LET THE RECORD SHOW 313 00:15:22,788 --> 00:15:24,990 THAT MRS. PUTNAM INDICATED 314 00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:27,760 TRAVEL AGENT JOY STARK. 315 00:15:27,860 --> 00:15:29,795 NOW, IF YOU COULD, MRS. PUTNAM, 316 00:15:29,895 --> 00:15:33,666 PLEASE TELL US WHAT HAPPENED ON THE CRUISE SHIP 317 00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:36,535 THE AFTERNOON OF AUGUST 9th. 318 00:15:36,635 --> 00:15:38,671 WELL, MURRAY AND I WENT DOWN 319 00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:40,239 TO THE POOL THAT DAY 320 00:15:40,339 --> 00:15:43,175 DETERMINED TO MAKE THE BEST OF A BAD SITUATION. 321 00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:46,779 WHEN WE ARRIVED, THERE WERE YOUNG PEOPLE CAVORTING 322 00:15:46,879 --> 00:15:49,148 AND PLAYING SPORTS GAMES. 323 00:15:49,248 --> 00:15:50,549 AND THEN WHAT HAPPENED? 324 00:15:50,649 --> 00:15:52,051 WELL, WE GOT INTO THE WATER, 325 00:15:52,151 --> 00:15:53,585 AND THAT'S WHEN THE YOUNG MEN 326 00:15:53,686 --> 00:15:56,488 STARTED HITTING ME WITH THEIR BALLS. 327 00:15:56,588 --> 00:15:59,425 [STIFLING LAUGHTER] 328 00:15:59,525 --> 00:16:01,593 I'M SORRY. 329 00:16:03,295 --> 00:16:05,264 MRS. PUTNAM, CONTINUE. 330 00:16:05,364 --> 00:16:07,333 IT WAS TERRIFYING. EVERYWHERE I LOOKED, 331 00:16:07,433 --> 00:16:09,868 IT WAS BALLS, BALLS, BALLS. 332 00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:13,605 [LAUGHING] 333 00:16:13,706 --> 00:16:19,345 I'M SO SORRY. OH, THAT SOUNDS HORRIFYING. 334 00:16:19,445 --> 00:16:21,013 [STIFLING LAUGHTER] 335 00:16:21,113 --> 00:16:23,682 PLEASE, GO ON. 336 00:16:23,782 --> 00:16:25,684 I TRIED TO HIDE UNDER THE WATER, 337 00:16:25,784 --> 00:16:27,619 BUT EVERY TIME I CAME UP FOR AIR, 338 00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:29,488 BALLS WERE HITTING ME IN THE FACE. 339 00:16:29,588 --> 00:16:32,524 [LOUD LAUGHTER] 340 00:16:34,860 --> 00:16:37,997 I'M SORRY. I'M JUST SO TIRED. 341 00:16:38,097 --> 00:16:40,399 BALLS HIT ME IN THE FACE, TOO. 342 00:16:40,499 --> 00:16:43,535 [LOUD LAUGHTER] 343 00:16:53,312 --> 00:16:54,613 HOW'D IT GO? 344 00:16:54,713 --> 00:16:56,615 THE TRUTH IS, STU, WE'RE GOING TO LOSE. 345 00:16:56,715 --> 00:16:59,151 ALL RIGHT. WELL, THE GOOD NEWS IS 346 00:16:59,251 --> 00:17:00,185 WE'RE TRAVEL AGENTS. 347 00:17:00,285 --> 00:17:01,520 WE COULD BE IN HAWAII 348 00:17:01,620 --> 00:17:03,389 BEFORE THE COPS EVEN KNOW WE'RE GONE. 349 00:17:03,489 --> 00:17:04,890 ALOHA, LEGAL WOES. 350 00:17:04,990 --> 00:17:10,429 STU, YOU DO KNOW THAT HAWAII IS PART OF THE UNITED STATES? 351 00:17:10,529 --> 00:17:14,366 I DID NOT. 352 00:17:16,268 --> 00:17:18,670 WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO DO? 353 00:17:18,771 --> 00:17:20,039 WELL, YOU'D BETTER GET IT TOGETHER 354 00:17:20,139 --> 00:17:21,373 BECAUSE IT'S YOUR TURN TO TESTIFY TOMORROW. 355 00:17:21,473 --> 00:17:23,108 YEAH? WELL, I'M SCREWED THEN, 356 00:17:23,208 --> 00:17:25,244 BECAUSE I CAN'T SLEEP WITHOUT EDDIE'S SNORING. 357 00:17:25,344 --> 00:17:27,312 I ASKED HIM TO TAKE THE LITTLE STRIP OFF, 358 00:17:27,413 --> 00:17:28,514 AND HE REFUSES. 359 00:17:28,614 --> 00:17:29,948 HE'S NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY. 360 00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:32,618 HE'S NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY? 361 00:17:32,718 --> 00:17:34,186 GOOD FOR HIM. HERE'S WHAT YOU DO. 362 00:17:34,286 --> 00:17:35,788 YOU WAIT FOR HIM TO FALL ASLEEP, 363 00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:37,589 YOU RIP THE STRIP OFF HIS FAT FACE, 364 00:17:37,689 --> 00:17:39,224 STUFF A HAND TOWEL DOWN HIS PIE HOLE, 365 00:17:39,324 --> 00:17:42,628 AND LET HIS DEATH GASPS LULL YOU TO SLEEP. 366 00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:46,331 BETH, I'M NOT SURE HOW IT WORKED IN YOUR THREE MARRIAGES-- 367 00:17:46,432 --> 00:17:47,299 FOUR. 368 00:17:47,399 --> 00:17:48,867 YOUR FOUR MARRIAGES, 369 00:17:48,967 --> 00:17:51,303 BUT I COULD NEVER DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT. 370 00:18:10,789 --> 00:18:13,325 [SNORING] 371 00:18:14,259 --> 00:18:17,129 [SIGHS DEEPLY] 372 00:18:22,167 --> 00:18:27,239 [GASPING SOUNDS] 373 00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:47,292 MY STRIP! WHERE'S MY... 374 00:18:50,829 --> 00:18:54,766 YOU DIDN'T. 375 00:18:54,867 --> 00:18:56,301 I DID. 376 00:18:56,401 --> 00:18:58,036 WHAT KIND OF A WOMAN ARE YOU? 377 00:18:58,137 --> 00:19:00,672 WHAT KIND OF A WOMAN? I WILL TELL YOU 378 00:19:00,772 --> 00:19:02,207 WHAT KIND OF WOMAN I AM! 379 00:19:02,307 --> 00:19:03,709 I AM THE EXHAUSTED KIND! 380 00:19:03,809 --> 00:19:06,979 I AM THE KIND WHO ASKED YOU VERY NICELY 381 00:19:07,079 --> 00:19:09,581 TO TAKE THAT STUPID THING OFF FOR JUST ONE NIGHT, 382 00:19:09,681 --> 00:19:13,685 AND YOU WOULDN'T BECAUSE YOU'RE SO AFRAID TO DIE! 383 00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:16,688 I COULD DIE! 384 00:19:16,788 --> 00:19:18,423 OH, SHUT UP ABOUT THE DYING. 385 00:19:18,524 --> 00:19:20,092 YOU ARE NOT AFRAID OF DYING. 386 00:19:20,192 --> 00:19:22,294 YOU JUST WOULDN'T GIVE UP YOUR PRECIOUS NASAL STRIP 387 00:19:22,394 --> 00:19:23,595 BECAUSE IT MADE YOU FEEL SO GOOD. 388 00:19:23,695 --> 00:19:25,797 LET ME GUESS. YOU HAVE TAI CHI IN THE MORNING? 389 00:19:25,898 --> 00:19:29,001 NO. I HAVE PILATES. 390 00:19:30,836 --> 00:19:33,138 YOU ARE SO SELFISH. 391 00:19:33,238 --> 00:19:35,440 ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS YOU FEELING GOOD. 392 00:19:35,541 --> 00:19:36,675 YEAH? SO WHAT IF I DO? 393 00:19:36,775 --> 00:19:38,177 YOU HAD 20 YEARS OF SLEEPING GOOD 394 00:19:38,277 --> 00:19:39,444 BECAUSE OF MY SNORING. 395 00:19:39,545 --> 00:19:41,446 SO NOW IT'S MY TURN TO FEEL NICE 396 00:19:41,547 --> 00:19:43,882 AND PLEASANT, SO GO TO HELL! 397 00:19:44,716 --> 00:19:46,185 PLEASE. 398 00:19:46,285 --> 00:19:48,687 EDDIE, THE ONLY REASON WHY YOU FEEL SO GOOD 399 00:19:48,787 --> 00:19:50,289 IS BECAUSE I CONVINCED YOU TO GO 400 00:19:50,389 --> 00:19:52,224 TO THAT STUPID SLEEP CLINIC IN THE FIRST PLACE 401 00:19:52,324 --> 00:19:53,926 BECAUSE I ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT YOU! 402 00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:55,527 YEAH, YOU CARE UNTIL IT INTERFERES WITH YOUR HAPPINESS, 403 00:19:55,627 --> 00:19:56,995 AND THEN YOU'RE COUNTING SHEEP 404 00:19:57,095 --> 00:20:00,432 WHILE DADDY STRUGGLES FOR AIR. 405 00:20:02,868 --> 00:20:03,802 [SIGHS DEEPLY] 406 00:20:03,902 --> 00:20:06,672 ALL RIGHT. FINE. IT'S TRUE. 407 00:20:06,772 --> 00:20:10,642 WHEN IT CAME DOWN TO YOU FEELING GOOD OR ME, 408 00:20:10,742 --> 00:20:12,377 I CHOSE ME. 409 00:20:12,477 --> 00:20:14,079 I'M A TERRIBLE PERSON. 410 00:20:14,179 --> 00:20:17,616 I MEAN, I'M ADDICTED TO YOUR SNORING. 411 00:20:17,716 --> 00:20:21,753 I LITERALLY CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT YOU. 412 00:20:21,853 --> 00:20:24,856 AND THAT MAKES ME SAD. 413 00:20:24,957 --> 00:20:26,658 WELL, WHERE DOES THAT LEAVE US NOW? 414 00:20:26,758 --> 00:20:29,528 WHAT, ARE WE GOING TO BE ONE OF THOSE COUPLES 415 00:20:29,628 --> 00:20:31,396 WHO SLEEP IN SEPARATE BEDROOMS 416 00:20:31,496 --> 00:20:33,398 AND HAVE THEIR OWN TVs 417 00:20:33,498 --> 00:20:35,701 AND A LITTLE MINI FRIDGE AND... 418 00:20:35,801 --> 00:20:40,005 SIT THERE SMOKING MY CIGARS AND... 419 00:20:40,105 --> 00:20:41,540 A COUPLE TIMES A MONTH, 420 00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:43,242 YOU TIPTOE IN THERE AND GIVE ME THE OLD-- 421 00:20:43,342 --> 00:20:45,611 WE'RE NOT DOING THAT! 422 00:20:45,711 --> 00:20:49,848 YOU'RE RIGHT. I DON'T WANT THAT EITHER. 423 00:20:49,948 --> 00:20:52,251 SO...SO WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO? HUH? 424 00:20:52,351 --> 00:20:55,520 I MEAN, YOU CAN'T SLEEP WITHOUT YOUR STRIP, 425 00:20:55,621 --> 00:20:59,958 AND I CAN'T SLEEP WITHOUT YOUR SNORING. 426 00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:04,496 {\an8}[SNORING] 427 00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:26,785 {\an8}THAT'S IT! 428 00:21:26,885 --> 00:21:29,988 {\an8}COUSIN JIMMY, HERE I COME. 429 00:21:32,157 --> 00:21:33,458 {\an8}[CHEERING] 31280

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