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1
00:00:03,236 --> 00:00:06,539
♪ I LIKE COFFEE,
TEA'S YOUR BAG ♪
2
00:00:06,639 --> 00:00:08,375
♪ THOUGH IT MAKES
NO SENSE, IT'S TRUE ♪
3
00:00:08,475 --> 00:00:10,777
♪ THERE'S NO ME
WITHOUT YOU ♪
4
00:00:10,877 --> 00:00:15,415
{\an8}Joely Fisher:
'TIL DEATH IS FILMED IN FRONT
OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE.
5
00:00:15,515 --> 00:00:17,784
{\an8}I GOT IT. I GOT IT.
I GOT IT. I GOT IT.
MOVE, HONEY.
6
00:00:17,884 --> 00:00:19,085
{\an8}I GOT IT. I GOT IT.
7
00:00:19,185 --> 00:00:20,587
{\an8}I GOT IT. I GOT IT.
8
00:00:20,687 --> 00:00:23,023
{\an8}I GOT IT. I GOT IT.
I GOT IT.
9
00:00:23,123 --> 00:00:25,458
{\an8}I GOT IT. I GOT IT.
I GOT IT.
10
00:00:25,558 --> 00:00:28,395
{\an8}I GOT IT. I GOT IT. I GOT IT.
OK, SURE.
11
00:00:28,495 --> 00:00:30,230
{\an8}I GOT IT. I GOT IT.
I GOT IT.
12
00:00:30,330 --> 00:00:32,499
{\an8}THAT WAS YOURS,
HONEY.
13
00:00:32,599 --> 00:00:35,235
{\an8}HOW WAS THAT MINE?
OK. LOOK. ALL RIGHT.
14
00:00:35,335 --> 00:00:37,003
{\an8}YOU KNOW WHAT?
IF I HAVE TO EXPLAIN
THE GAME TO YOU,
15
00:00:37,103 --> 00:00:40,040
{\an8}MAYBE WE SHOULDN'T
PLAY TOGETHER.
GOOD SET.
16
00:00:40,140 --> 00:00:43,309
{\an8}IT'S OK. YOU'LL
GET US NEXT TIME.
17
00:00:43,410 --> 00:00:44,778
{\an8}YOU GUYS WANNA PLAY
ANOTHER SET?
18
00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:46,246
{\an8}OR DO YOU NOT HAVE
ANOTHER 6 MINUTES?
19
00:00:46,346 --> 00:00:48,048
{\an8}HA HA HA!
OK.
20
00:00:48,148 --> 00:00:49,349
{\an8}YOU BEAT
US QUICKLY. YEAH.
21
00:00:49,449 --> 00:00:51,584
{\an8}THAT'S FRESH STUFF.
HEY, SERIOUSLY.
22
00:00:51,684 --> 00:00:53,053
{\an8}NO, THIS IS ONE OF
THE TOUGHEST MATCHES
23
00:00:53,153 --> 00:00:54,120
{\an8}WE'VE PLAYED
IN A LONG TIME.
24
00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:55,488
{\an8}REALLY?
YEAH.
25
00:00:55,588 --> 00:00:57,390
{\an8}ALTHOUGH, WE USUALLY
PLAY MY GRANDPARENTS.
26
00:00:57,490 --> 00:00:59,092
{\an8}NO, I'M KIDDING.
I'M KIDDING.
27
00:00:59,192 --> 00:01:00,193
{\an8}NOT ABOUT
THE GRANDPARENTS,
28
00:01:00,293 --> 00:01:02,062
{\an8}BUT ABOUT
YOU BEING TOUGH.
29
00:01:02,162 --> 00:01:03,663
{\an8}MM-HMM.
HEY, HERE'S AN IDEA.
30
00:01:03,763 --> 00:01:05,565
{\an8}WHY DON'T YOU GUYS
PLAY ANOTHER ONE
31
00:01:05,665 --> 00:01:08,168
{\an8}AND WE'LL GO REPLENISH
OUR ELECTROLYTES
WITH A SMOOTHIE.
32
00:01:08,268 --> 00:01:09,202
{\an8}OHH.
33
00:01:09,302 --> 00:01:11,137
{\an8}AND BY "SMOOTHIE,"
I MEAN "BEER."
34
00:01:11,237 --> 00:01:12,338
{\an8}AND BY "BEER,"
I MEAN "VODKA."
35
00:01:12,439 --> 00:01:13,840
{\an8}OH!
WHAT DO YOU SAY, EDDIE?
36
00:01:13,940 --> 00:01:15,008
{\an8}[STAMMERING]
YOU KNOW WHAT?
37
00:01:15,108 --> 00:01:16,376
{\an8}I THINK I'M
GONNA CALL IT A DAY.
38
00:01:16,476 --> 00:01:17,911
{\an8}YOU KNOW, MY WHOLE LEFT SIDE
IS, LIKE, BURNING.
39
00:01:18,011 --> 00:01:20,246
{\an8}WHAT? YEAH.
AW, IT'S JUST--IT'S LIKE,
40
00:01:20,346 --> 00:01:23,483
{\an8}WHEN I RAISE MY ARM
ABOVE MY ELBOW,
IT JUST--JUST IRR--
41
00:01:23,583 --> 00:01:24,651
{\an8}THIS AREA HERE.
42
00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:26,052
{\an8}WELL, LOOK, SIMONA,
YOU'RE A DOCTOR,
43
00:01:26,152 --> 00:01:27,287
{\an8}THERE ISN'T ANYTHING
ON THIS SIDE OF MY BODY
44
00:01:27,387 --> 00:01:28,755
{\an8}I SHOULD BE WORRIED ABOUT,
IS THERE?
45
00:01:28,855 --> 00:01:30,957
{\an8}UH, ONLY HEART,
LUNGS, AND KIDNEY.
46
00:01:31,057 --> 00:01:34,961
{\an8}AND ON THIS ONE,
A CUTE LITTLE TATTOO
OF A BUNNY.
47
00:01:35,061 --> 00:01:38,398
{\an8}I WAS A WILD MAN
IN COLLEGE.
48
00:01:38,498 --> 00:01:40,700
{\an8}BUT SERIOUSLY, UM, HOW
LONG HAVE YOU HAD THIS?
49
00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:42,102
{\an8}OH, ABOUT 15 YEARS,
50
00:01:42,202 --> 00:01:44,537
{\an8}BUT I'VE ONLY BEEN AFRAID
FOR 6 MONTHS.
51
00:01:44,637 --> 00:01:47,340
{\an8}AFRAID? BABE, WHY DIDN'T YOU
TELL ME ABOUT THIS?
52
00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:50,610
{\an8}BECAUSE SAYING IT
OUT LOUD MAKES IT REAL.
53
00:01:50,710 --> 00:01:52,745
{\an8}DO YOU HAVE A DOCTOR?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
54
00:01:52,846 --> 00:01:54,848
{\an8}SOMEONE YOU CAN CALL
IF SOMETHING GOES WRONG.
55
00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:56,950
{\an8}GET A CHECKUP
EVERY NOW AND AGAIN.
56
00:01:57,050 --> 00:01:58,751
{\an8}THAT SOUNDS
KIND OF PRICEY.
57
00:01:58,852 --> 00:02:00,386
{\an8}ED, YOU DON'T
HAVE A DOCTOR?
58
00:02:00,487 --> 00:02:02,055
{\an8}STEPHEN, COME ON,
TOUGH GUYS LIKE US,
59
00:02:02,155 --> 00:02:04,290
{\an8}WE DON'T NEED DOCTORS,
RIGHT?
60
00:02:04,390 --> 00:02:05,492
{\an8}WELL, I'M MARRIED
TO A DOCTOR,
61
00:02:05,592 --> 00:02:08,194
{\an8}AND I GET CHECKUPS
EVERY NIGHT.
62
00:02:08,294 --> 00:02:09,596
{\an8}I BET YOU DO, HUH.
63
00:02:09,696 --> 00:02:11,197
{\an8}YOU'RE PLAYING DOCTOR
WITH THE DOCTOR.
64
00:02:11,297 --> 00:02:15,535
{\an8}A LITTLE TURN YOUR HEAD
TO THE LEFT AND COUGH.
65
00:02:15,635 --> 00:02:17,904
{\an8}ACTUALLY,
I'M A DIABETIC.
66
00:02:18,004 --> 00:02:20,406
{\an8}SHE KEEPS AN EYE
ON MY BLOOD SUGAR.
67
00:02:20,507 --> 00:02:21,875
I'M SORRY.
68
00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:23,643
I'M KIDDING,
I'M KIDDING.
69
00:02:23,743 --> 00:02:25,145
I'M THE PICTURE
OF HEALTH.
70
00:02:25,245 --> 00:02:28,181
BUT SERIOUSLY,
I DO GET CHECKUPS.
I DO.
71
00:02:28,281 --> 00:02:30,250
EDDIE, MAYBE YOU SHOULD
HAVE IT LOOKED AT.
72
00:02:30,350 --> 00:02:32,318
HONEY, LOOK, YOU KNOW
MY SCHEDULE.
73
00:02:32,418 --> 00:02:33,953
WHEN DO I HAVE TIME
TO MEET WITH A DOCTOR?
74
00:02:34,053 --> 00:02:36,422
YOU'RE A TEACHER.
YOU'RE FREE EVERY DAY
75
00:02:36,523 --> 00:02:37,757
FROM 2:30 TO MIDNIGHT.
76
00:02:37,857 --> 00:02:39,859
YOU CAN COME BY
MY OFFICE ANYTIME.
77
00:02:39,959 --> 00:02:41,995
IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
I'LL SQUEEZE YOU IN.
78
00:02:42,095 --> 00:02:43,296
ALL RIGHT, I'LL DO THAT,
79
00:02:43,396 --> 00:02:44,531
AND THEN I'LL RETURN
THE FAVOR.
80
00:02:44,631 --> 00:02:45,798
COME BY MY OFFICE ANYTIME,
81
00:02:45,899 --> 00:02:48,868
AND I'LL GIVE YOU
A POP QUIZ.
82
00:02:48,968 --> 00:02:49,936
I'M A TEACHER.
83
00:02:50,036 --> 00:02:52,805
OH, OK.
OH, THAT'S FUNNY.
84
00:02:52,906 --> 00:02:54,941
BUT SERIOUSLY,
DO YOURSELF A FAVOR,
GET IT CHECKED OUT.
85
00:02:55,041 --> 00:02:58,811
I MEAN, YOU'RE
WHEEZING MORE THAN
MY 15-YEAR-OLD PUG.
86
00:03:04,918 --> 00:03:07,854
OK, SO WHAT SHOULD I DO
ABOUT MY DOCTOR'S
APPOINTMENT
87
00:03:07,954 --> 00:03:09,055
WITH SIMONA TOMORROW.
88
00:03:09,155 --> 00:03:10,823
SHOULD I JUST CALL
AND CANCEL,
89
00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:13,626
OR JUST FAKE
MY OWN DEATH?
90
00:03:13,726 --> 00:03:17,864
EDDIE, YOUR ENTIRE BODY
IS IN PAIN ALL THE TIME.
91
00:03:17,964 --> 00:03:19,632
YOU--YOU DON'T EXERCISE,
YOU EAT LIKE CRAP.
92
00:03:19,732 --> 00:03:21,167
WHY WOULD YOU CANCEL?
93
00:03:21,267 --> 00:03:23,703
UH, I'M A MAN.
SHE'S A WOMAN.
94
00:03:23,803 --> 00:03:25,171
WE'RE GONNA BE ALONE.
95
00:03:25,271 --> 00:03:29,042
I'M GONNA BE IN A VERY
REVEALING PAPER GOWN.
96
00:03:29,142 --> 00:03:31,411
SHE'S GONNA SEE STUFF.
97
00:03:31,511 --> 00:03:32,779
WHAT DO YOU THINK
SHE'S GONNA DO,
98
00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:35,815
CLIMB UP ON THE TABLE
AND START RIDING YOU?
99
00:03:35,915 --> 00:03:38,284
I'VE SEEN IT IN
MANY ADULT FILMS.
100
00:03:38,384 --> 00:03:42,488
THOSE THINGS ARE
BASED ON SOMETHING.
101
00:03:42,589 --> 00:03:43,923
YOU KNOW WHAT,
AS A WOMAN,
102
00:03:44,023 --> 00:03:45,592
I AM OFFENDED BY
YOUR ATTITUDE ABOUT THIS.
103
00:03:45,692 --> 00:03:48,928
SHE IS A PROFESSIONAL,
SHE'S GOOD AT HER JOB.
104
00:03:49,028 --> 00:03:50,296
YOU'RE GOING.
105
00:03:50,396 --> 00:03:51,631
BUT SHE'S A FRIEND.
106
00:03:51,731 --> 00:03:53,633
WHAT IF MY BUDDY LOU
TOLD YOU TO STRIP DOWN
107
00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:57,003
AND GET ON A--
ON A COLD, HARD TABLE?
108
00:03:57,103 --> 00:03:59,405
LOU? LOU SELLS
CAR STEREOS.
109
00:03:59,505 --> 00:04:01,608
I WOULDN'T FEEL GREAT.
110
00:04:01,708 --> 00:04:03,810
YOU COULD DO
A LOT WORSE THAN LOU.
111
00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:05,545
YEAH, I THINK I MIGHT HAVE.
112
00:04:05,645 --> 00:04:08,648
COME ON, JUST--
HONEY, GO SEE SIMONA, OK?
113
00:04:08,748 --> 00:04:09,682
[SCOFFS]
114
00:04:09,782 --> 00:04:10,883
IT'S GONNA BE
TOTALLY WEIRD.
115
00:04:10,984 --> 00:04:12,385
SHE'S GONNA
SEE ME NAKED.
116
00:04:12,485 --> 00:04:15,188
THEN SHE'S GONNA SEE ME
AGAIN THE NEXT DAY.
117
00:04:15,288 --> 00:04:17,490
I SEE YOU NAKED
AND SEE YOU THE NEXT DAY.
118
00:04:17,590 --> 00:04:18,925
I BOUNCE BACK.
119
00:04:29,636 --> 00:04:32,105
HMM.
THREE TIMES IN A ROW.
120
00:04:32,205 --> 00:04:34,774
THAT REALLY IS
YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE.
121
00:04:34,874 --> 00:04:38,211
OH, OH, F.Y.I.,
I DIDN'T OVERFILL
MY URINE SAMPLE.
122
00:04:38,311 --> 00:04:40,046
A LOT OF THAT'S
JUST FOAM.
123
00:04:40,146 --> 00:04:41,447
THAT HEAD'LL GO DOWN.
124
00:04:41,547 --> 00:04:44,450
DOCTOR'S GOING TO BE
RIGHT WITH YOU, ALL RIGHT?
125
00:04:44,550 --> 00:04:45,852
MALE NURSE,
FEMALE DOCTOR.
126
00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:47,654
IT'S LIKE STAR TREK
IN HERE.
127
00:04:47,754 --> 00:04:49,522
YEAH, LISTEN,
FOR FUTURE REFERENCE,
128
00:04:49,622 --> 00:04:53,326
YOU COULD HAVE LEFT
YOUR UNDERPANTS ON.
129
00:04:59,365 --> 00:05:01,134
HEY, EDDIE.
HEY.
130
00:05:01,234 --> 00:05:03,169
SO, HOW SHOULD
WE PLAY IT?
131
00:05:03,269 --> 00:05:04,771
SHOULD WE ACT LIKE
WE DON'T KNOW EACH OTHER
AND SHAKE HANDS,
132
00:05:04,871 --> 00:05:06,572
OR DO THE POLITE
KISS ON THE CHEEK?
133
00:05:06,673 --> 00:05:08,875
LET'S GO WITH
THE VERY PROFESSIONAL
134
00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:11,978
DOCTOR-PATIENT FIST BUMP.
HEY, I LIKE THAT.
135
00:05:12,078 --> 00:05:13,613
THAT SAYS "I KNOW
MY DOCTOR SOCIALLY,
136
00:05:13,713 --> 00:05:17,183
YET I WON'T FEEL AWKWARD
WHEN I SEE HER LATER."
137
00:05:17,283 --> 00:05:18,818
JUST SO YOU KNOW,
138
00:05:18,918 --> 00:05:21,821
ANYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN HERE
IS BETWEEN YOU AND ME.
139
00:05:21,921 --> 00:05:26,759
AND MY 927 MYSPACE FRIENDS.
140
00:05:26,859 --> 00:05:27,860
[LAUGHS]
141
00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:29,696
LET'S START WITH SOME...
142
00:05:29,796 --> 00:05:31,364
LET'S START WITH
SOME FAMILY HISTORY.
143
00:05:31,464 --> 00:05:33,599
OK, WELL, MY GRANDMOTHER
WAS A DANCER.
144
00:05:33,700 --> 00:05:35,501
AND MY GRANDFATHER,
ON HIS DEATHBED,
145
00:05:35,601 --> 00:05:39,839
ACTUALLY TOLD MY DAD
THAT HE WASN'T
HIS REAL FATHER.
146
00:05:39,939 --> 00:05:42,675
WOW. OK. UH,
I WAS ACTUALLY TALKING
147
00:05:42,775 --> 00:05:45,044
ABOUT YOUR FAMILY'S
MEDICAL HISTORY.
148
00:05:45,144 --> 00:05:46,312
HEART DISEASE, STROKE.
149
00:05:46,412 --> 00:05:47,980
YOU KNOW, LET'S JUST
CUT RIGHT TO IT
150
00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:49,248
AND CHECK ALL THE BOXES.
151
00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:51,484
WE'RE A MESS.
152
00:05:51,584 --> 00:05:53,586
ALL RIGHT.
DO YOU SMOKE?
153
00:05:53,686 --> 00:05:55,054
NO, I DO NOT.
154
00:05:55,154 --> 00:05:58,391
BUT I DO EAT A SKOSH
OF FRIED FOOD.
155
00:05:58,491 --> 00:06:00,293
WHAT DO YOU MEAN
BY "SKOSH"?
156
00:06:00,393 --> 00:06:02,261
WELL, WHEN I'M ORDERING
FAST FOOD,
157
00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:05,665
I LIE, AND I TELL THEM
THAT I'M BUYING IT
FOR MY FIREHOUSE.
158
00:06:05,765 --> 00:06:08,234
YOU KNOW, IT'S OK
TO DO THAT,
159
00:06:08,334 --> 00:06:10,303
AS LONG AS YOU DON'T
DO IT TOO OFTEN.
160
00:06:10,403 --> 00:06:13,005
IT'S ALL RIGHT
TO TREAT YOURSELF.
161
00:06:13,106 --> 00:06:15,174
YOU WORK HARD.
162
00:06:15,274 --> 00:06:16,376
WELL, YOU KNOW,
YOU'RE RIGHT.
163
00:06:16,476 --> 00:06:18,244
I DO WORK HARD,
ACTUALLY.
164
00:06:18,344 --> 00:06:20,246
AND THANKS FOR NOT
YELLING AT ME.
165
00:06:20,346 --> 00:06:21,314
WHY WOULD I YELL
AT YOU?
166
00:06:21,414 --> 00:06:22,815
WELL, BECAUSE JOY
YELLS AT ME
167
00:06:22,915 --> 00:06:25,284
AND SAYS THAT I'M STUPID
FOR EATING FRIED FOOD.
168
00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:27,320
WELL, IT'S NOT ABOUT
BEING STUPID.
169
00:06:27,420 --> 00:06:28,821
THE BODY CRAVES
FATTY FOODS.
170
00:06:28,921 --> 00:06:30,223
IT'S BUILT INTO
OUR GENES.
171
00:06:30,323 --> 00:06:32,825
I TOLD HER THAT,
AND SHE THREW A PHONE AT ME.
172
00:06:32,925 --> 00:06:35,628
TAKE A DEEP BREATH.
OK. [INHALES]
173
00:06:35,728 --> 00:06:37,430
I'M GOING TO THROW
SOMETHING A LITTLE
DIFFERENT AT YOU.
174
00:06:37,530 --> 00:06:39,031
DO YOU EAT A LOT
OF FISH?
175
00:06:39,132 --> 00:06:40,967
UH, YOU KNOW,
I REALLY DON'T.
176
00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:44,337
WELL, ONE TIME
I ACCIDENTALLY
SWALLOWED A STARFISH
177
00:06:44,437 --> 00:06:45,838
AT THE BEACH ONE SUMMER,
BUT...
178
00:06:45,938 --> 00:06:49,142
WELL, TO BE HONEST,
I TOOK A BITE OF IT.
179
00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:51,911
I THOUGHT IT WAS A COOKIE.
180
00:06:52,011 --> 00:06:55,481
EDDIE, YOU'VE
GOT TO TAKE CARE
OF YOURSELF,
181
00:06:55,581 --> 00:06:57,617
BECAUSE A LOT OF
PEOPLE LOVE YOU,
182
00:06:57,717 --> 00:07:01,888
AND WE WANT YOU
TO BE AROUND.
183
00:07:01,988 --> 00:07:03,523
WELL, THANKS, SIMONA.
184
00:07:03,623 --> 00:07:07,059
NOW, I'M JUST GONNA
LISTEN TO YOUR HEART.
185
00:07:08,594 --> 00:07:12,064
I THINK YOU ALREADY HAVE.
186
00:07:16,235 --> 00:07:17,270
HEY.
187
00:07:17,370 --> 00:07:19,906
WHAT IS THAT
GOD-AWFUL SMELL?
188
00:07:20,006 --> 00:07:23,176
THAT IS THE SMELL
OF HOPE AND
LIGHTLY-BATTERED COD.
189
00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:25,144
YOU'RE EATING FISH?
190
00:07:25,244 --> 00:07:27,046
WELL, SIMONA SAYS
THAT FISH IS
THE ANYTIME SNACK.
191
00:07:27,146 --> 00:07:29,882
AND SIMONA ALSO SAYS
THAT I HAVE TO START
EATING HEALTHIER.
192
00:07:29,982 --> 00:07:33,119
WOW, I'VE BEEN TELLING YOU THAT
FOR THE LAST 20 YEARS.
193
00:07:33,219 --> 00:07:34,520
HAVE YOU? HUH.
194
00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:38,458
ANYWAY, I'M REALLY HAPPY
I WENT TO SEE HER.
195
00:07:38,558 --> 00:07:39,759
HMM. SO THAT WORKED OUT?
196
00:07:39,859 --> 00:07:43,496
SHE WAS ABLE TO RESIST
ALL THAT IN A PAPER ROBE?
197
00:07:43,596 --> 00:07:45,164
IT WAS FANTASTIC.
198
00:07:45,264 --> 00:07:47,266
I'M GOING TO GO GET
ANOTHER CHECKUP
AND SEE HER AGAIN.
199
00:07:47,366 --> 00:07:49,335
I'M JUST GLAD TO SEE
YOU'RE EMBRACING
A HEALTHIER DIET.
200
00:07:49,435 --> 00:07:51,070
YOU KNOW WHAT, SIMONA
DOESN'T CALL IT A DIET.
201
00:07:51,170 --> 00:07:54,040
SHE CALLS IT
A "LIVE-IT."
202
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:57,944
SIMONA ALSO
GAVE ME THE COPY OF
MEN'S HEALTH MAGAZINE
203
00:07:58,044 --> 00:07:59,078
FROM THE WAITING ROOM.
204
00:07:59,178 --> 00:08:01,214
AND GUESS WHO IS ON
THE FAST TRACK
205
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:02,949
TO ROCK-HARD ABS?
206
00:08:03,049 --> 00:08:06,152
LET ME GUESS. YOU ARE?
DID 4 SIT-UPS TODAY.
207
00:08:06,252 --> 00:08:08,654
IN A ROW?
2 SETS OF 2.
208
00:08:08,754 --> 00:08:10,656
BUT YOU KNOW
WHAT SIMONA SAID TO ME?
209
00:08:10,756 --> 00:08:13,292
SHE SAID IF YOU DON'T FEEL
THE BURN, YOU'RE NOT
DOING IT RIGHT.
210
00:08:13,392 --> 00:08:16,028
I'M FEELING THE BURN.
GO AHEAD, TOUCH IT. GO.
211
00:08:16,128 --> 00:08:18,831
YEAH, I'M GOOD.
212
00:08:18,931 --> 00:08:21,400
WHAT--WHAT DID SHE SAY
ABOUT THE PAIN IN YOUR SIDE?
213
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:23,603
WELL, SIMONA THINKS
THAT THAT COULD
POSSIBLY BE GAS.
214
00:08:23,703 --> 00:08:25,838
AND THEN SHE ALSO SAID
IT COULD BE SOME TENSION
215
00:08:25,938 --> 00:08:27,974
I'M FEELING
AT HOME MAYBE.
216
00:08:28,074 --> 00:08:30,109
WHAT, IS SHE SUGGESTING
THAT I'M THE PROBLEM?
217
00:08:30,209 --> 00:08:32,411
NO, SIMONA
DIDN'T SPECIFICALLY
MENTION YOU,
218
00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:33,846
BUT WHEN I BROUGHT UP
YOUR NAME,
219
00:08:33,946 --> 00:08:35,381
SHE GOT A LITTLE QUIET.
220
00:08:35,481 --> 00:08:38,417
ANYWAY, I'M GONNA
HIT THE HAY.
221
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:39,652
IT'S 4:00, EDDIE.
222
00:08:39,752 --> 00:08:40,987
YEAH, I KNOW,
BUT SIMONA SAYS
223
00:08:41,087 --> 00:08:42,522
THAT IF YOU NAP
JUST 20 MINUTES A DAY,
224
00:08:42,622 --> 00:08:44,056
YOU'LL SLEEP BETTER
AT NIGHT.
225
00:08:44,156 --> 00:08:47,593
OH, GONNA GRAB A BANANA
AND LEVEL OUT MY POTASSIUM.
226
00:08:47,693 --> 00:08:49,662
UHH, FORGOT TO SAY
"SIMONA SAYS."
227
00:08:49,762 --> 00:08:50,663
HA HA HA, GOOD ONE.
228
00:08:50,763 --> 00:08:53,065
BUT SHE DID SAY IT, THOUGH.
229
00:08:58,037 --> 00:08:59,872
YOU GUYS READY TO ORDER?
230
00:08:59,972 --> 00:09:02,775
ACTUALLY, WE'RE IN A HURRY.
COULD WE JUST HAVE OUR CHECK?
231
00:09:02,875 --> 00:09:03,976
[LAUGHTER]
232
00:09:04,076 --> 00:09:05,645
KIDDING.
WHY DON'T YOU ORDER FOR ME?
233
00:09:05,745 --> 00:09:07,713
YEAH, YOU KNOW,
ORDER FOR ME, TOO.
234
00:09:07,813 --> 00:09:11,384
OK, UM, I WILL HAVE
THE SCALLOP SALAD
235
00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:12,652
WITH THE DRESSING
ON THE SIDE,
236
00:09:12,752 --> 00:09:14,387
AND NO TORTILLA CHIPS
FOR ME.
237
00:09:14,487 --> 00:09:16,055
NIX-SAY ON THE CHIP-SAY.
238
00:09:16,155 --> 00:09:20,593
AND HE WILL HAVE
THE STUFFED SOLE
AND SPINACH.
239
00:09:20,693 --> 00:09:22,428
I'M A SOUL MAN.
AND LET'S SEE.
240
00:09:22,528 --> 00:09:24,530
MR. HEALTHY OVER HERE WILL
HAVE THE VEGETABLE FAJITAS
241
00:09:24,630 --> 00:09:26,499
WITH WHOLE WHEAT TORTILLAS.
242
00:09:26,599 --> 00:09:29,335
WHOLE WHEAT.
KEEP THE TRAINS MOVING.
243
00:09:29,435 --> 00:09:31,137
AND FOR YOU, MA'AM?
244
00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:35,174
GUESS I'M JUST
THE FAT ASS WHO
WANTS A BURRITO.
245
00:09:35,274 --> 00:09:36,342
CHICKEN OR STEAK?
246
00:09:36,442 --> 00:09:37,610
YES.
247
00:09:37,710 --> 00:09:41,080
OH, AND ANOTHER
ONE OF THESE.
248
00:09:41,180 --> 00:09:43,349
EDDIE, I GOT TO TELL YOU,
I AM REALLY IMPRESSED
WITH THAT YOU'RE DOING HERE.
249
00:09:43,449 --> 00:09:45,217
GOOD FOR YOU.
GOOD FOR YOU.
250
00:09:45,318 --> 00:09:49,789
PRETTY SOON YOU'RE
GOING TO BE IN AS GOOD
OF SHAPE AS I AM.
251
00:09:49,889 --> 00:09:51,490
KIDDING. YOU'LL NEVER
LOOK AS GOOD AS ME.
252
00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:55,161
BUT YOU'LL GET CLOSE.
YOU WILL GET CLOSE.
253
00:09:56,929 --> 00:09:57,997
YES, SIMONA'S
WORKING HER MAGIC
254
00:09:58,097 --> 00:09:59,732
ON THE TWO OF
YOU GUYS, HUH?
255
00:09:59,832 --> 00:10:01,734
WELL, I HAVE TO SAY,
AT FIRST I WAS
A LITTLE RELUCTANT
256
00:10:01,834 --> 00:10:04,070
ABOUT HAVING SIMONA
AS MY PHYSICIAN
257
00:10:04,170 --> 00:10:05,771
BECAUSE, YOU KNOW,
WE'RE ALL FRIENDS,
258
00:10:05,871 --> 00:10:09,508
BUT, UH, THANK GOODNESS
MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE JOY,
259
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:11,744
IF SHE HADN'T NAGGED ME
ALL NIGHT,
260
00:10:11,844 --> 00:10:13,079
I NEVER WOULD HAVE GONE.
261
00:10:13,179 --> 00:10:15,247
AW, THANKS, EDDIE.
I APPRECIATE IT.
262
00:10:15,348 --> 00:10:16,882
TO SIMONA.
263
00:10:16,983 --> 00:10:18,284
TO SIMONA.
264
00:10:18,384 --> 00:10:19,752
Simona: THAT'S NICE.
265
00:10:19,852 --> 00:10:21,621
OH, 3 WATERS
WITH LEMON.
266
00:10:21,721 --> 00:10:24,156
TONIGHT'S GOING TO
GET CRAZY.
267
00:10:24,256 --> 00:10:26,492
SO, JOY, HOW'S
THE TRAVEL AGENCY?
268
00:10:26,592 --> 00:10:29,895
I REMEMBER YOU SAID
YOU WERE WORKING ON
SOME BIG PROJECT.
269
00:10:29,996 --> 00:10:32,798
OH, UH, THANKS
FOR ASKING, SIMONA.
270
00:10:32,898 --> 00:10:34,433
YEAH, I JUST--
271
00:10:34,533 --> 00:10:36,135
WELL, I BROUGHT IN
THIS PRETTY BIG
CORPORATE CLIENT.
272
00:10:36,235 --> 00:10:37,169
Man: OH, MY GOD,
HE'S CHOKING.
273
00:10:37,269 --> 00:10:38,437
IS THERE A DOCTOR IN HERE?
274
00:10:38,537 --> 00:10:40,806
YES, THERE--THERE SURE IS.
MY DOCTOR.
275
00:10:40,906 --> 00:10:41,841
GO GET 'EM, CHAMP.
276
00:10:41,941 --> 00:10:45,378
SCOOT OVER, JOY.
LET HER GET BY.
277
00:10:46,946 --> 00:10:48,781
YOUR WIFE IS INCREDIBLE.
278
00:10:48,881 --> 00:10:50,449
I--I MEAN.
THAT'S NOTHING.
279
00:10:50,549 --> 00:10:51,851
LAST WEEK
SHE REATTACHED
280
00:10:51,951 --> 00:10:53,953
A CHILD'S PINKY
AT FLANNAGAN'S.
281
00:10:54,053 --> 00:10:57,023
YEAH. SHE'S GOOD.
282
00:11:00,559 --> 00:11:03,162
[APPLAUSE]
283
00:11:06,799 --> 00:11:09,568
[WHISTLES]
284
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:11,437
WHAT'S UP, JOY?
285
00:11:11,537 --> 00:11:12,772
HEY.
286
00:11:18,177 --> 00:11:19,645
WHAT ARE YOU DOING
WITH MY SNACKS?
287
00:11:19,745 --> 00:11:20,846
EDDIE TOLD ME TO COME BY
288
00:11:20,946 --> 00:11:24,483
AND TAKE AWAY
ALL YOUR JUNK FOOD.
289
00:11:24,583 --> 00:11:26,652
GET YOUR HANDS OFF
MY FOOD.
290
00:11:26,752 --> 00:11:29,321
YOU KNOW WHAT,
HE TOLD ME YOU'D SAY THAT.
291
00:11:29,422 --> 00:11:31,090
HE TOLD ME TO IGNORE YOU.
292
00:11:31,190 --> 00:11:33,392
HEY, MY CANDY CAKES.
293
00:11:33,492 --> 00:11:35,928
WHAT IS THE NUTRITIONAL VALUE
OF CANDY CAKES?
294
00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:37,096
YOU KNOW WHAT,
I DON'T EVEN CARE.
295
00:11:37,196 --> 00:11:38,798
I'M JUST GONNA
TAKE THEM ANYWAY.
296
00:11:38,898 --> 00:11:40,900
FINE, I DON'T CARE
EITHER.
297
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:43,636
YOU OK?
MMM.
298
00:11:43,736 --> 00:11:46,005
COME ON, WHAT'S WRONG?
TALK TO KENNY.
299
00:11:46,105 --> 00:11:47,707
I DON'T WANT
TO TALK ABOUT IT.
300
00:11:52,178 --> 00:11:54,680
NO TALKY, NO CAKEY.
301
00:11:55,848 --> 00:11:59,118
WE HAVE THIS FRIEND,
SIMONA.
302
00:11:59,218 --> 00:12:00,553
SHE'S A DOCTOR,
303
00:12:00,653 --> 00:12:02,288
AND I'VE BEEN BUGGING
EDDIE TO GO SEE HER
304
00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:04,156
FOR A CHECKUP.
305
00:12:04,256 --> 00:12:05,991
AND?
306
00:12:09,829 --> 00:12:12,798
MM-MMM.
307
00:12:12,898 --> 00:12:15,668
ALL OF THE SUDDEN,
EDDIE'S ALL GAGA
OVER HER.
308
00:12:15,768 --> 00:12:18,604
THAT'S CRAZY. WHAT DOES THIS
WOMAN HAVE THAT YOU DON'T HAVE?
309
00:12:18,704 --> 00:12:21,440
WELL, LIKE I SAID,
SHE'S A DOCTOR,
310
00:12:21,540 --> 00:12:23,042
AND I'M A TRAVEL AGENT.
311
00:12:23,142 --> 00:12:25,811
YOU'RE A TRAVEL AGENT?
YEAH.
312
00:12:25,911 --> 00:12:27,346
THEY STILL HAVE THOSE?
313
00:12:27,446 --> 00:12:29,448
YES, KENNY,
THEY STILL HAVE THOSE.
314
00:12:29,548 --> 00:12:32,885
REALLY? I THOUGHT PEOPLE
JUST GET ON THE COMPUTER AND--
315
00:12:32,985 --> 00:12:34,620
OK, IT'S NOT A GREAT JOB.
316
00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:37,156
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
WHAT ELSE YOU GOT?
317
00:12:37,256 --> 00:12:39,692
WELL, SHE'S BLONDE.
318
00:12:39,792 --> 00:12:42,995
SHE'S GOT THIS CUTE
LITTLE SOUTHERN ACCENT.
319
00:12:43,095 --> 00:12:46,232
OOH, I LIKE THAT.
HA HA HA.
320
00:12:46,332 --> 00:12:48,400
WHAT, THE BLONDE
OR THE ACCENT?
321
00:12:48,501 --> 00:12:49,902
BOTH.
322
00:12:50,002 --> 00:12:51,403
IF I HAD TO
RANK THEM, THOUGH,
I'D PROBABLY GO WITH--
323
00:12:51,504 --> 00:12:52,404
I DO NOT CARE.
324
00:12:52,505 --> 00:12:54,340
SORRY, SORRY.
OK, OK, OK.
325
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:57,176
THE ACCENT, THOUGH.
326
00:12:57,276 --> 00:13:00,179
SHE'S SWEET,
AND SHE'S COMPASSIONATE.
327
00:13:00,279 --> 00:13:02,515
AND FROM WHAT I CAN
TELL, IT'S NOT AN ACT.
328
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:05,785
SHE KIND OF ANNOYINGLY
MEANS IT.
329
00:13:05,885 --> 00:13:08,120
MM-HMM. HOW'S THE FACE?
TELL ME ABOUT THE FACE.
330
00:13:08,220 --> 00:13:10,322
I DON'T KNOW.
SHE'S ADORABLE.
331
00:13:10,422 --> 00:13:11,690
[INHALES]
332
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:13,292
I'M GONNA TAKE MYSELF IN
AND GET ME A CHECKUP.
333
00:13:13,392 --> 00:13:14,460
[GRUNTS]
334
00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:16,061
WHY, WHAT'S WRONG
WITH YOU?
335
00:13:16,162 --> 00:13:19,565
I'M COMING DOWN WITH A BAD CASE
OF "THIS CHICK SOUNDS HOT."
336
00:13:24,770 --> 00:13:26,138
SORRY I'M LATE.
337
00:13:26,238 --> 00:13:27,773
I JUST HAD TO STOP
BY THE HOSPITAL.
338
00:13:27,873 --> 00:13:30,242
OH, IS EVERYTHING OK?
THERE WAS SOME ACCIDENT
339
00:13:30,342 --> 00:13:31,410
AND THEY WERE SHORT STAFFED
IN THE E.R.,
340
00:13:31,510 --> 00:13:32,878
SO THEY CALLED ME IN.
341
00:13:32,978 --> 00:13:34,413
OH. I'M A LITTLE
LIGHT-HEADED
342
00:13:34,513 --> 00:13:36,248
'CAUSE I GAVE SOME
OF MY OWN BLOOD.
343
00:13:36,348 --> 00:13:38,684
THANK GOD I'M
A UNIVERSAL DONOR.
344
00:13:38,784 --> 00:13:42,121
WOW, THAT'S GREAT.
345
00:13:42,221 --> 00:13:45,758
[THINKING]
SON OF A BITCH. EVEN
HER BLOOD IS PERFECT.
346
00:13:45,858 --> 00:13:47,092
I'LL JUST BE A MINUTE.
347
00:13:47,193 --> 00:13:49,728
I'M GONNA CHANGE
INTO MY OUTFIT.
348
00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:51,363
[THINKING]
SHE CANNOT BE
THIS PERFECT...
349
00:13:51,463 --> 00:13:54,600
THERE'S GOT TO BE A FLAW
UNDER THERE SOMEWHERE.
350
00:13:54,700 --> 00:13:56,468
COME ON, HAIRY MOLE.
351
00:13:56,569 --> 00:14:01,707
WHOA, MILKY WHITE SKIN.
PERFECT BREASTS.
352
00:14:01,807 --> 00:14:02,975
PROUD, HIGH BUTTOCK.
353
00:14:03,075 --> 00:14:04,443
DAMN IT, JOY,
SNAP OUT OF IT.
354
00:14:04,543 --> 00:14:06,979
WHAT, YOU'RE FALLING
FOR HER, TOO?
355
00:14:08,747 --> 00:14:09,815
[SIGHS]
356
00:14:09,915 --> 00:14:12,918
JOY, ARE YOU OK?
IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG?
357
00:14:13,018 --> 00:14:16,222
NO, EVERYTHING'S
PERFECT.
358
00:14:18,290 --> 00:14:20,025
OH, YEAH, THAT'S IT.
RIGHT THERE.
359
00:14:20,125 --> 00:14:21,093
MAKE IT BURN.
360
00:14:21,193 --> 00:14:23,462
YOU LIKE THAT?
THAT RIGHT THERE, HUH?
361
00:14:23,562 --> 00:14:24,864
I DO.
YEAH? MAKE YOU HAPPY?
362
00:14:24,964 --> 00:14:27,299
I DO.
OH, YEAH. OH.
363
00:14:27,399 --> 00:14:28,601
YOU GUYS NEED
TO STRETCH?
364
00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:30,436
ACTUALLY, I STRETCHED
IN THE CAR.
365
00:14:30,536 --> 00:14:32,872
YEAH, AND I'M ON
SOME PRETTY SERIOUS
MUSCLE RELAXERS,
366
00:14:32,972 --> 00:14:35,407
SO I'M GOOD TO GO.
I'M TELLING YOU, EDDIE.
367
00:14:35,507 --> 00:14:37,376
THIS LITTLE LADY'S
GOT MAGIC HANDS.
368
00:14:37,476 --> 00:14:39,812
DO YOURSELF A FAVOR,
GET UNDER HER.
369
00:14:39,912 --> 00:14:42,381
YOU WANT ME TO HELP?
ABSOLUTELY.
370
00:14:42,481 --> 00:14:44,683
AHH, AHH, HE'S GOOD.
WE CAN JUST PLAY.
371
00:14:44,783 --> 00:14:46,318
HEY, EDDIE, YOU
WANT TO MIX IT UP?
SWITCH PARTNERS?
372
00:14:46,418 --> 00:14:48,721
YES, PLEASE. I--I MEAN,
IF YOU WANT TO.
373
00:14:48,821 --> 00:14:50,189
I THINK IT'S A GREAT IDEA.
374
00:14:50,289 --> 00:14:53,192
COME ON, HONEY,
A LITTLE HUSTLE.
WE'RE PLAYING.
375
00:14:53,292 --> 00:14:55,628
OK, I'M GOING.
376
00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:56,862
HEY, UH, STEPHEN.
377
00:14:56,962 --> 00:14:58,864
LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION.
YEAH.
378
00:14:58,964 --> 00:15:00,199
I KNOW THAT, UH,
SIMONA IS LIKE
379
00:15:00,299 --> 00:15:02,234
THIS PERFECT DOCTOR
AND EVERYTHING,
380
00:15:02,334 --> 00:15:05,638
BUT AT HOME, SHE'S--
SHE'S A NORMAL WIFE, RIGHT?
381
00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:09,041
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
YOU KNOW, SHE NAGS YOU A LOT,
382
00:15:09,141 --> 00:15:12,378
BLAMES YOU FOR HER FAILURES,
WITHHOLDS SEX.
383
00:15:12,478 --> 00:15:14,013
WELL, ACTUALLY, NO.
384
00:15:14,113 --> 00:15:16,315
SHE'S VERY
SUPPORTIVE
EMOTIONALLY
385
00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:17,783
AND ATTENTIVE
PHYSICALLY.
386
00:15:17,883 --> 00:15:19,752
BUT EVERYTHING'S
NOT PERFECT, RIGHT?
387
00:15:19,852 --> 00:15:21,420
NO. I MEAN,
SOMETIMES I MISS HER
388
00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:23,422
WHEN SHE GOES
AND DOES DOCTORS
WITHOUT BORDERS,
389
00:15:23,522 --> 00:15:26,592
BUT, YOU KNOW, SHE
ALWAYS COMES BACK
A BETTER LADY FOR IT.
390
00:15:26,692 --> 00:15:29,862
SO, NOTHING?
NO FLAWS AT ALL?
391
00:15:29,962 --> 00:15:33,565
WELL, I GUESS
SOMETIMES I FEEL SHE
HAS TOO MANY ORGASMS.
392
00:15:33,666 --> 00:15:35,601
HEY.
393
00:15:35,701 --> 00:15:37,703
OH! OH, MY GOD,
I'M SO SORRY.
394
00:15:37,803 --> 00:15:39,638
NO, NO, THAT WAS NOT
YOUR FAULT, SIMONA.
395
00:15:39,738 --> 00:15:42,141
SHE JUST STOPPED PLAYING.
396
00:15:44,443 --> 00:15:44,476
{\an8}BO
397
00:15:44,476 --> 00:15:44,610
{\an8}BOY,
398
00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:44,643
{\an8}BOY, T
399
00:15:44,643 --> 00:15:44,677
{\an8}BOY, THA
400
00:15:44,677 --> 00:15:44,710
{\an8}BOY, THAT
401
00:15:44,710 --> 00:15:44,743
{\an8}BOY, THAT SI
402
00:15:44,743 --> 00:15:44,777
{\an8}BOY, THAT SIMO
403
00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:44,877
{\an8}BOY, THAT SIMONA
404
00:15:44,877 --> 00:15:44,910
{\an8}BOY, THAT SIMONA
IS
405
00:15:44,910 --> 00:15:44,944
{\an8}BOY, THAT SIMONA
IS S
406
00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:44,977
{\an8}BOY, THAT SIMONA
IS SOM
407
00:15:44,977 --> 00:15:45,010
{\an8}BOY, THAT SIMONA
IS SOME
408
00:15:45,010 --> 00:15:45,044
{\an8}BOY, THAT SIMONA
IS SOME PL
409
00:15:45,044 --> 00:15:45,077
{\an8}BOY, THAT SIMONA
IS SOME PLAY
410
00:15:45,077 --> 00:15:45,110
{\an8}BOY, THAT SIMONA
IS SOME PLAYER
411
00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:45,144
{\an8}BOY, THAT SIMONA
IS SOME PLAYER,
412
00:15:45,144 --> 00:15:45,177
{\an8}BOY, THAT SIMONA
IS SOME PLAYER, HU
413
00:15:45,177 --> 00:15:45,210
{\an8}BOY, THAT SIMONA
IS SOME PLAYER, HUH?
414
00:15:47,079 --> 00:15:49,048
IT'S--IT'S AMAZING
HOW MUCH STRENGTH
415
00:15:49,148 --> 00:15:51,150
THAT TINY BODY
CAN GENERATE.
416
00:15:51,250 --> 00:15:52,084
[SIGHS]
417
00:15:52,184 --> 00:15:54,086
WE LOVE THE TINY BODY.
418
00:15:54,186 --> 00:15:57,556
DO YOU KNOW THAT SHE GOT
A SWIMMING SCHOLARSHIP
TO STANFORD?
419
00:15:57,656 --> 00:15:59,124
WHERE DID YOU GO AGAIN?
420
00:15:59,224 --> 00:16:01,126
DELAWARE WATER GAP
COMMUNITY COLLEGE.
421
00:16:01,226 --> 00:16:03,562
RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT.
I SHOULD HAVE REMEMBERED THAT
422
00:16:03,662 --> 00:16:05,230
BECAUSE OUR EXTERMINATOR
WENT THERE.
423
00:16:05,331 --> 00:16:08,233
YOU KNOW, SIMONA HAS
A GREAT WAY TO GET RID
OF AN ANT PROBLEM.
424
00:16:08,334 --> 00:16:09,501
OK, ENOUGH ABOUT SIMONA.
425
00:16:09,601 --> 00:16:10,703
OK, WE GET IT.
426
00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:12,972
SHE'S A BRILLIANT,
BENEVOLENT,
427
00:16:13,072 --> 00:16:15,240
MULTI-ORGASMIC
WONDER WOMAN.
428
00:16:15,341 --> 00:16:17,710
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. HONEY,
WHERE IS THIS COMING FROM?
429
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:20,179
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA
HOW RIDICULOUS YOU SOUND?
430
00:16:20,279 --> 00:16:21,947
"SIMONA SAYS THIS,
SIMONA SAYS THAT.
431
00:16:22,047 --> 00:16:27,119
SIMONA POOPS GOLD OUT
OF HER SUPER TIGHT BUTT."
432
00:16:27,219 --> 00:16:29,755
I DON'T THINK SHE DOES.
433
00:16:29,855 --> 00:16:31,657
LISTEN, HONEY,
434
00:16:31,757 --> 00:16:35,027
YOU KNOW I'M NOT
ATTRACTED TO HER.
435
00:16:35,127 --> 00:16:36,395
YOU'RE NOT?
I AM.
436
00:16:36,495 --> 00:16:37,663
I MEAN,
YOU'RE JUST ANNOYING.
437
00:16:37,763 --> 00:16:39,698
I'VE BEEN TELLING YOU
FOR LIKE 15 YEARS
438
00:16:39,798 --> 00:16:41,333
TO TAKE BETTER CARE
OF YOURSELF,
439
00:16:41,433 --> 00:16:42,701
AND IT'S CALLED NAGGING.
440
00:16:42,801 --> 00:16:43,969
SIMONA SAYS IT ONE TIME,
441
00:16:44,069 --> 00:16:45,971
AND YOU BECOME
LIKE BRUCE JENNER.
442
00:16:46,071 --> 00:16:49,975
REAL CURRENT REFERENCE.
WELL DONE.
443
00:16:50,075 --> 00:16:52,544
WHO'S THE NEW GUY?
MATTHEW PHELPS.
444
00:16:52,644 --> 00:16:54,246
MATTHEW PHELPS, WHATEVER.
445
00:16:54,346 --> 00:16:56,415
IT'S JUST THAT WHY
DON'T YOU LISTEN TO ME
WHEN I SAY IT?
446
00:16:56,515 --> 00:16:57,950
WHY CAN'T I BE
YOUR HERO?
447
00:16:58,050 --> 00:16:59,985
WELL, MAYBE SIMONA HAS
A BETTER BEDSIDE MANNER.
448
00:17:00,085 --> 00:17:03,655
YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT
WHAT YOU SAY,
IT'S HOW YOU SAY IT.
449
00:17:03,756 --> 00:17:07,860
YOU ARE 6'8" OF STUPID.
450
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:10,629
AND SOMETIMES
WHAT YOU SAY.
451
00:17:10,729 --> 00:17:12,831
SIMONA TOLD ME I
SHOULD TAKE BETTER CARE
OF MYSELF
452
00:17:12,931 --> 00:17:15,367
BECAUSE THERE ARE
PEOPLE THAT LOVE ME
AND WANT ME AROUND.
453
00:17:15,467 --> 00:17:18,137
I MEAN, WHEN DID
YOU SAY SOMETHING
LIKE THAT TO ME?
454
00:17:18,237 --> 00:17:21,573
GIVE ME A BREAK. WE'VE BEEN
MARRIED A LONG FREAKIN' TIME.
455
00:17:21,673 --> 00:17:25,978
I'M JUST SAYING IT'S
SOMETIMES NICE TO HEAR
THAT OUT LOUD.
456
00:17:26,078 --> 00:17:27,413
MICHAEL PHELPS!
THAT WAS IT.
457
00:17:27,513 --> 00:17:29,248
IT WAS BOTHERING ME.
MICHAEL PHELPS.
458
00:17:29,348 --> 00:17:30,649
I SAY NICE THINGS TO YOU.
459
00:17:30,749 --> 00:17:34,086
SIMONA TOLD YOU
TO EAT LESS FRIED FOOD,
460
00:17:34,186 --> 00:17:36,021
AND THEN SHE PROBABLY SAID
EXACTLY THE SAME THING
461
00:17:36,121 --> 00:17:38,724
TO THE NEXT WINDED SLOB
WHO WALKED THROUGH THE DOOR.
462
00:17:38,824 --> 00:17:40,859
HOW DARE YOU.
463
00:17:40,959 --> 00:17:43,128
YOU THINK THAT
SHE CARES ABOUT YOU?
464
00:17:43,228 --> 00:17:44,430
IT--THIS--DO YOU KNOW
WHAT THIS IS?
465
00:17:44,530 --> 00:17:45,697
THIS IS JUST LIKE
THE TIME
466
00:17:45,798 --> 00:17:47,232
THAT YOU GOT AN AUTOGRAPH
FROM RAQUEL WELCH
467
00:17:47,332 --> 00:17:49,101
AT THAT BOOKSTORE,
AND YOU THOUGHT
SHE WINKED AT YOU.
468
00:17:49,201 --> 00:17:51,603
SHE WAS WINKING AT ME.
HER FALSE EYELASH FELL OFF.
469
00:17:51,703 --> 00:17:54,273
THAT'S HOW HARD
SHE WAS WINKING.
470
00:17:54,373 --> 00:17:55,774
I'VE GOT NEWS FOR YOU,
EDDIE.
471
00:17:55,874 --> 00:17:59,578
YOUR DOCTOR IS PAID
A LOT OF MONEY
TO CARE ABOUT YOU.
472
00:17:59,678 --> 00:18:01,080
AND AT THE END
OF HER WORK DAY,
473
00:18:01,180 --> 00:18:02,915
SHE STOPS CARING.
474
00:18:03,015 --> 00:18:07,920
AND SHE DRIVES HOME
IN A CAR THAT COSTS
MORE THAN THIS HOUSE.
475
00:18:08,020 --> 00:18:11,623
WELL, I COULD TELL YOU
THAT THERE IS A WOMAN
OUT THERE
476
00:18:11,723 --> 00:18:13,592
WHO KNOWS ME
INSIDE AND OUT.
477
00:18:13,692 --> 00:18:16,195
AND SHE IS CONCERNED
ABOUT MY WELL-BEING.
478
00:18:16,295 --> 00:18:20,399
AND THAT WOMAN'S NAME
IS DR. SIMONA...
479
00:18:20,499 --> 00:18:23,368
BRADFORD.
UH, BED--BEDFORD.
480
00:18:23,469 --> 00:18:25,771
RED--REDFORD.
IT'S THOMPSON.
481
00:18:25,871 --> 00:18:27,906
I KNEW THAT.
482
00:18:28,006 --> 00:18:30,275
IT'S REDFORD.
483
00:18:30,375 --> 00:18:33,579
WELL, I KNEW
IT WASN'T THOMPSON.
484
00:18:37,549 --> 00:18:39,284
Simona: SO YOU'VE
GOT TO CUT DOWN
ON THOSE SWEETS.
485
00:18:39,384 --> 00:18:41,753
YOU'VE GOT TO TAKE
CARE OF YOURSELF,
486
00:18:41,854 --> 00:18:43,689
BECAUSE A LOT OF PEOPLE
LOVE YOU,
487
00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:47,826
AND WE WANT YOU AROUND.
488
00:18:47,926 --> 00:18:49,094
SON OF A BITCH.
489
00:18:49,194 --> 00:18:51,663
I THOUGHT SHE JUST
WANTED ME AROUND.
490
00:18:54,166 --> 00:18:57,603
WELL, TURNS OUT
YOU WERE RIGHT.
491
00:18:57,703 --> 00:18:59,404
SIMONA WANTS EVERYONE
TO BE ALIVE,
492
00:18:59,505 --> 00:19:02,674
NOT JUST ME.
493
00:19:02,774 --> 00:19:04,676
SORRY I GOT SO CRAZY.
494
00:19:04,776 --> 00:19:05,711
NO, IT WAS MY FAULT, TOO.
495
00:19:05,811 --> 00:19:07,579
I JUST...
GOT ALL INSECURE.
496
00:19:07,679 --> 00:19:10,215
NO, NO, NO. I--I
SHOULD APPRECIATE YOU
LOOKING OUT FOR ME.
497
00:19:10,315 --> 00:19:14,353
IT'S JUST YOUR VOICE
GETS SOMETIMES GRATING.
498
00:19:14,453 --> 00:19:16,889
OH, I SHOULDN'T
HAVE SAID GRATING
RIGHT THERE.
499
00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:20,459
BUT MY--MY POINT IS,
I'M SORRY.
500
00:19:20,559 --> 00:19:21,827
NO, BABE, YOU WERE RIGHT.
501
00:19:21,927 --> 00:19:26,265
I GUESS I COULD SAY THINGS
A LITTLE NICER SOMETIMES.
502
00:19:26,365 --> 00:19:27,766
YEAH. ANYWAY,
THE POINT IS,
503
00:19:27,866 --> 00:19:30,669
I CANCELLED
MY APPOINTMENT
FOR TOMORROW.
504
00:19:30,769 --> 00:19:33,872
I KNOW. SIMONA CALLED.
SHE CALLED?
505
00:19:33,972 --> 00:19:36,742
WHAT DID SHE SAY?
I THINK SHE SAID--
506
00:19:36,842 --> 00:19:38,343
NO, NO, NO,
DON'T "THINK," HONEY.
507
00:19:38,443 --> 00:19:41,413
SHE--SHE CALLED.
WHAT--WHAT DID
SHE SAY EXACTLY?
508
00:19:41,513 --> 00:19:44,016
YOU SAID "HELLO,"
AND SHE SAID?
509
00:19:44,116 --> 00:19:47,319
SHE'S CHARGING YOU
FOR THE NO-SHOW.
510
00:19:47,419 --> 00:19:53,058
ALL RIGHT.
SHE'S ONLY CHARGING ME
'CAUSE SHE CARES.
511
00:19:53,158 --> 00:19:54,993
WHOA, SHE'S GOT IT BAD.
512
00:20:02,901 --> 00:20:04,670
HEY.
513
00:20:04,770 --> 00:20:09,741
JOY, JOY, JOY.
I, UM, I HAVE
YOUR BLOOD WORK HERE,
514
00:20:09,841 --> 00:20:13,278
AND...YOU'RE PREGNANT.
515
00:20:13,378 --> 00:20:16,148
NO, I'M KIDDING!
516
00:20:16,248 --> 00:20:19,451
I THOUGHT WE COULD DO THAT
BECAUSE WE'RE FRIENDS.
517
00:20:19,551 --> 00:20:21,987
OHH.
YOU GOT ME THERE.
518
00:20:22,087 --> 00:20:24,489
THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO
HAVE TO STOP DRINKING
FOR 9 MONTHS.
519
00:20:24,590 --> 00:20:27,726
SIMONA, I DON'T
NEED TO BE STROKED
LIKE EDDIE DOES.
520
00:20:27,826 --> 00:20:29,928
YOU CAN GIVE IT
TO ME STRAIGHT.
521
00:20:30,028 --> 00:20:31,797
ALL RIGHT, WELL,
HERE IT IS.
522
00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:33,799
YOU'RE IN PERFECT HEALTH.
523
00:20:33,899 --> 00:20:35,667
WHAT'S YOUR SECRET?
524
00:20:35,767 --> 00:20:36,835
MY SECRET?
525
00:20:36,935 --> 00:20:38,070
YEAH, WE'RE LIKE
THE SAME AGE.
526
00:20:38,170 --> 00:20:40,639
TELL ME HOW I CAN LOOK
SO VITAL AND YOUNG.
527
00:20:40,739 --> 00:20:44,042
OH, WELL, I CREDIT
LACK OF EXERCISE,
528
00:20:44,142 --> 00:20:45,611
NO SUN SCREEN,
529
00:20:45,711 --> 00:20:46,979
AND A MINIMUM OF
40 HOURS OF TELEVISION
A WEEK.
530
00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:50,849
WELL, IT WORKS.
DON'T CHANGE A THING.
531
00:20:50,949 --> 00:20:53,385
AH, SIMONA,
YOU ARE GOOD.
532
00:20:53,485 --> 00:20:55,287
BUT ANY DOCTOR
CAN GIVE COMPLIMENTS.
533
00:20:55,387 --> 00:20:57,189
HERE'S THE TRUE TEST.
534
00:20:57,289 --> 00:21:00,292
WHAT ARE THE CHANCES
OF ME HITTING YOU UP
FOR SOME SLEEPING PILLS?
535
00:21:00,392 --> 00:21:02,894
{\an8}ARE YOU HAVING
TROUBLE SLEEPING?
536
00:21:02,995 --> 00:21:06,064
{\an8}YES.
537
00:21:08,934 --> 00:21:10,769
{\an8}DO YOU WANT
THE TIME RELEASE
538
00:21:10,869 --> 00:21:13,605
{\an8}OR THE BIG WHAMMY
RIGHT OUT OF THE BOX?
539
00:21:13,705 --> 00:21:18,577
{\an8}OH, I LOVE YOU
LIKE OXYGEN.
540
00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:23,849
{\an8}"I AM NOT
A DRUG DEALER."
541
00:21:26,852 --> 00:21:28,487
{\an8}I GET THAT.
542
00:21:30,555 --> 00:21:32,024
{\an8}[CHEERING]
42525
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