Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,568 --> 00:00:02,769
HELLO, HELLO.
2
00:00:02,869 --> 00:00:03,870
HEY.
3
00:00:03,970 --> 00:00:05,739
AND HOW IS THE
TRAVEL AGENCY BIZ?
4
00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:08,475
I WON 7 GAMES OF SOLITAIRE.
5
00:00:08,575 --> 00:00:10,110
AND I WENT ON FACEBOOK
AND RECONNECTED
6
00:00:10,210 --> 00:00:11,344
{\an8}WITH 6 PEOPLE I HATE.
7
00:00:11,444 --> 00:00:14,748
{\an8}ONLY 6? I CAN
CONNECT WITH
PEOPLE I HATE
8
00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:17,784
{\an8}EVERY DAY ALL DAY
UNTIL THE MESSIAH
COMES BACK,
9
00:00:17,884 --> 00:00:19,853
{\an8}OR TWO-TONE SHOES,
WHATEVER COMES FIRST.
10
00:00:19,953 --> 00:00:21,488
{\an8}SO DID YOU BOOK
ANY TRAVEL?
11
00:00:21,588 --> 00:00:23,556
{\an8}NO, EDDIE, WE DIDN'T.
WE'RE IN A RECESSION.
12
00:00:23,656 --> 00:00:25,859
{\an8}THE ONLY PEOPLE TRAVELING
ARE ILLEGAL ALIENS,
13
00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:27,761
{\an8}AND THEY RARELY
GO TO RESORTS.
14
00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:29,462
YEAH, EXCEPT TO CLEAN.
15
00:00:29,562 --> 00:00:31,564
HEY, YOU KNOW WHO I
BLAME FOR ALL OF THIS?
16
00:00:31,664 --> 00:00:32,999
NO, EDDIE.
WHO DO YOU BLAME?
17
00:00:33,099 --> 00:00:34,734
WILLIAM SHATNER.
18
00:00:34,834 --> 00:00:36,936
WHAT DID THE SEXIEST MAN
ALIVE EVER DO TO YOU?
19
00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:38,605
{\an8}WELL, IF IT
WEREN'T FOR HIM,
20
00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:40,907
{\an8}PEOPLE WOULD STILL BE
DUMB ENOUGH TO USE YOU
TO BOOK THEIR TRAVEL
21
00:00:41,007 --> 00:00:42,308
{\an8}INSTEAD OF DO IT
ON-LINE FOR FREE.
22
00:00:42,409 --> 00:00:43,710
{\an8}OK, COME ON. BACK UP.
23
00:00:43,810 --> 00:00:45,578
{\an8}I'M STILL ON WILLIAM SHATNER
AS THE SEXIEST MAN ALIVE.
24
00:00:45,678 --> 00:00:46,913
{\an8}WHO'S YOUR NUMBER 2?
25
00:00:47,013 --> 00:00:50,083
{\an8}IT'S TIE BETWEEN
DICK CHENEY AND
VICTOR GARBER.
26
00:00:51,351 --> 00:00:53,019
{\an8}I THINK WE'VE
LEARNED SOMETHING TODAY.
27
00:00:53,119 --> 00:00:54,821
{\an8}YES, WE HAVE. WHY DON'T
WE GO TO DINNER?
28
00:00:54,921 --> 00:00:56,389
{\an8}OK. HOW ABOUT
MIDDLE EASTERN?
29
00:00:56,489 --> 00:00:58,658
{\an8}NO, BECAUSE AN HOUR
AFTER YOU EAT IT,
YOU'RE ANGRY AGAIN.
30
00:00:58,758 --> 00:01:00,427
{\an8}HEH. HOW
'BOUT INDIAN?
31
00:01:00,527 --> 00:01:02,595
{\an8}OOH. INDIAN SOUNDS GOOD.
I'D LOVE ME SOME INDIAN
RIGHT ABOUT NOW.
32
00:01:02,695 --> 00:01:03,930
{\an8}WELL, THEN YOU
SHOULD GO SOMETIME.
33
00:01:04,030 --> 00:01:05,398
{\an8}I'M FREE TONIGHT.
34
00:01:05,498 --> 00:01:06,966
{\an8}OH, FANTASTIC.
THEN WHY DON'T YOU GO
TONIGHT? BYE-BYE.
35
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:08,201
{\an8}EDDIE, I THINK
SHE WANTS--
36
00:01:08,301 --> 00:01:10,737
{\an8}I KNOW WHAT SHE'S DOING.
JUST WALK.
37
00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:16,509
{\an8}MORNING.
38
00:01:16,609 --> 00:01:18,645
{\an8}GOOD MORNING.
39
00:01:18,745 --> 00:01:20,380
{\an8}SHOULDN'T YOU BE
GETTING READY FOR WORK?
40
00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:21,681
{\an8}ACTUALLY, I DON'T
HAVE TO GO IN TODAY.
41
00:01:21,781 --> 00:01:24,250
{\an8}THEY'RE FUMIGATING
THE SCHOOL. HEAD LICE.
42
00:01:24,350 --> 00:01:27,120
{\an8}GOD BLESS THE IRISH.
43
00:01:27,220 --> 00:01:29,422
{\an8}YOU WORKIN' ON
YOUR HINDENBURG BOOK?
44
00:01:29,522 --> 00:01:30,924
{\an8}WELL, I STARTED TO,
45
00:01:31,024 --> 00:01:33,526
{\an8}AND THEN I TYPED IN
"BLIMP," AND THIS
46
00:01:33,626 --> 00:01:36,162
{\an8}IS WHERE IT LED ME.
CHECK THAT OUT.
47
00:01:36,262 --> 00:01:38,031
{\an8}OH, MY GOD.
WHAT IS THAT?
48
00:01:38,131 --> 00:01:41,434
{\an8}WELL, THIS IS A WOMAN
IN INDIANA NICKNAMED
"THE HINDENBOOB."
49
00:01:41,534 --> 00:01:43,436
{\an8}THAT'S HER
OVER THE SUPER BOWL.
50
00:01:43,536 --> 00:01:44,604
{\an8}THAT'S AWFUL.
51
00:01:44,704 --> 00:01:46,206
YEAH. YOU THINK
THIS IS AWFUL,
52
00:01:46,306 --> 00:01:49,375
YOU SHOULD TYPE IN
"PANAMA CANAL" AND SEE
WHAT THAT GETS YOU.
53
00:01:49,476 --> 00:01:51,211
UGH. I DON'T
HAVE TIME FOR THAT.
54
00:01:51,311 --> 00:01:52,378
I GOTTA GET TO WORK.
55
00:01:52,479 --> 00:01:53,713
OH, NO, NO, NO,
NO, NO, NO, NO.
56
00:01:53,813 --> 00:01:54,914
I GOTTA GO BEFORE YOU.
57
00:01:55,014 --> 00:01:56,583
VINDALOO CHICKEN.
I'LL BE QUICK.
58
00:01:56,683 --> 00:01:57,884
NO. NO, NO, NO.
59
00:01:57,984 --> 00:02:01,020
WHEN YOU HURRY,
I'M MOPPING FOR DAYS.
60
00:02:04,190 --> 00:02:06,993
"P-A-N-A-M-A..."
61
00:02:08,661 --> 00:02:09,963
OOH.
62
00:02:10,063 --> 00:02:13,133
YOU KNOW, YOU DON'T
BUY INDIAN FOOD.
YOU JUST RENT IT.
63
00:02:13,233 --> 00:02:15,568
I SEE WHAT YOU DID WRONG.
64
00:02:15,668 --> 00:02:18,938
YOU FORGOT TO PUT
THE "C" IN "CANAL."
65
00:02:23,943 --> 00:02:25,211
MORNING, JOY.
66
00:02:28,648 --> 00:02:29,816
BETH?
67
00:02:29,916 --> 00:02:31,084
YEAH?
68
00:02:31,184 --> 00:02:35,421
EITHER I'M HAVING
THE MOST INTENSE ACID FLASHBACK,
69
00:02:35,522 --> 00:02:38,791
OR EDDIE HAS
ROOFIED ME AGAIN.
70
00:02:38,892 --> 00:02:42,762
I'M SEEING A SANDWICH SHOP
WHERE OUR OFFICE SHOULD BE.
71
00:02:42,862 --> 00:02:44,797
YEAH, I KNOW.
AFTER WORK,
THEY MADE SOME CHANGES.
72
00:02:44,898 --> 00:02:48,401
I WOULD HAVE CALLED YOU,
BUT YOU WERE
OUT TO DINNER.
73
00:02:48,501 --> 00:02:50,970
WHERE'S THE TRAVEL AGENCY?
74
00:02:51,070 --> 00:02:53,139
IT'S GONE, AND WE'RE
OUT OF A JOB.
75
00:02:53,239 --> 00:02:55,475
HUH. OH, MY GOD.
76
00:02:55,575 --> 00:02:58,444
HEY, YOU CAN FILL OUT
AN APPLICATION
IF YOU'D LIKE.
77
00:02:58,545 --> 00:02:59,612
THAT'S WHAT I'M DOING.
78
00:02:59,712 --> 00:03:02,182
THERE'S ONE SPOT LEFT,
BUT GOOD LUCK.
79
00:03:02,282 --> 00:03:03,650
I WENT TO VASSAR.
80
00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:05,985
HOW'S THAT
GONNA HELP YOU
GET A JOB HERE?
81
00:03:06,085 --> 00:03:09,389
OH, IT'S NOT, BUT I JUST
HOOKED UP WITH PACO.
82
00:03:16,696 --> 00:03:18,431
Eddie: IT'S A SUB SHOP?
YES.
83
00:03:18,531 --> 00:03:21,067
THAT'S INCREDIBLE.
I-I'M BUILDING
A SANDWICH RIGHT NOW.
84
00:03:21,167 --> 00:03:22,835
HEY, HEY. DO ME A FAVOR.
85
00:03:22,936 --> 00:03:26,539
DOES THE PROVOLONE GO
ON TOP OF THE SALAMI OR
AFTER THE PROSCIUTTO?
86
00:03:26,639 --> 00:03:28,675
I DON'T THINK
YOU'RE GRASPING
87
00:03:28,775 --> 00:03:31,044
THE ENORMITY OF THE
SITUATION HERE, EDDIE.
88
00:03:31,144 --> 00:03:32,512
SURE I AM, HONEY.
89
00:03:32,612 --> 00:03:34,714
IF YOU GET YOUR MEATS
IN THE WRONG PLACE,
IT'S ANARCHY,
90
00:03:34,814 --> 00:03:38,184
AND YOU DON'T WANT
ANARCHY IN A WORLD
WITH A UNIFIED GERMANY.
91
00:03:39,953 --> 00:03:41,754
FORGET I MENTIONED IT.
92
00:03:41,854 --> 00:03:44,824
AND THE PROVOLONE GOES
ON TOP OF THE SALAMI.
93
00:03:44,924 --> 00:03:46,893
AH. GOOD WORK, JOY.
94
00:03:46,993 --> 00:03:48,528
ALL RIGHT,
I'LL BE BACK SOON.
95
00:03:48,628 --> 00:03:49,796
I LOVE YOU.
96
00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:51,130
YEAH. OK.
97
00:03:55,201 --> 00:03:57,537
I FEEL MISERABLE.
[COUGHS]
98
00:03:57,637 --> 00:04:00,106
OH, MY POOR BABY.
99
00:04:00,206 --> 00:04:01,674
NO, I DON'T--
I DON'T WANT SYMPATHY.
100
00:04:01,774 --> 00:04:03,209
I WANT MEDICINE.
101
00:04:03,309 --> 00:04:06,479
OK. OK. THERE'S KIM PARK'S
HOLISTIC PHARMACY
AND PETTING ZOO,
102
00:04:06,579 --> 00:04:09,549
BUT THAT'S ALL THE WAY
ON THE OTHER SIDE OF TOWN,
103
00:04:09,649 --> 00:04:11,084
BUT I CAN WALK OVER THERE.
104
00:04:11,184 --> 00:04:13,219
NO. JUST--
I CAN'T WAIT THAT LONG.
105
00:04:13,319 --> 00:04:14,587
ASK MY FATHER
FOR A RIDE.
106
00:04:14,687 --> 00:04:16,089
HE'LL BE HAPPY
TO TAKE YOU.
107
00:04:16,189 --> 00:04:18,891
YEAH, BUT HE WON'T BE HAPPY
TO BRING ME BACK. HE HATES ME.
108
00:04:18,992 --> 00:04:20,893
MY FATHER
DOESN'T HATE YOU, DOUG.
109
00:04:20,994 --> 00:04:22,362
THAT'S JUST HIS WAY.
110
00:04:22,462 --> 00:04:24,063
OH, HE DOES TOO
HATE ME, ALLY.
111
00:04:24,163 --> 00:04:26,933
REMEMBER THAT TIME
HE DROVE ME TO TRENTON
AND THEN DROPPED ME OFF
112
00:04:27,033 --> 00:04:29,302
IN THE YOU-KNOW-WHAT SECTION?
113
00:04:29,402 --> 00:04:32,205
WH-WHAT SECTION
WAS THAT?
114
00:04:32,305 --> 00:04:34,707
DON'T MAKE ME SAY IT.
IT'S A SLUR.
115
00:04:35,675 --> 00:04:37,644
THEY LIVE IN TINY TOWN.
116
00:04:37,744 --> 00:04:40,847
THEY RHYME WITH WIDGETS.
117
00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:43,549
HE WAS JUST SHOWING YOU
HOW HE FEELS EVERYWHERE.
118
00:04:43,650 --> 00:04:45,251
THAT WAS A CRY FOR HELP.
119
00:04:45,351 --> 00:04:49,756
NO, A CRY FOR HELP
IS WHEN THOSE LITTLE BASTARDS
WERE ATTACKING ME
120
00:04:49,856 --> 00:04:52,725
AND I CRIED FOR HELP.
"JUST GET OFF ME."
121
00:04:52,825 --> 00:04:55,528
I MEAN, TH-THEY DON'T
LIKE OUR KIND, ALLY.
122
00:04:55,628 --> 00:04:58,331
THEY--THEY CALL US
"THE BIG'UNS."
123
00:04:58,431 --> 00:05:01,267
AND I TAKE THAT AS A SLUR.
124
00:05:01,367 --> 00:05:02,535
JUST GO, OK?
125
00:05:02,635 --> 00:05:05,238
THERE ARE CERTAIN THINGS
THAT I CAN'T DO FOR YOU
126
00:05:05,338 --> 00:05:07,507
UNTIL MY NOSE
IS UNSTUFFED.
127
00:05:09,575 --> 00:05:10,710
GOTCHA.
128
00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:14,047
ON MY WAY.
129
00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:18,451
EDDIE, I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU COULD JUST SIT THERE
AND EAT A SANDWICH.
130
00:05:18,551 --> 00:05:20,286
OUR--OUR LIVES
ARE FALLING APART.
131
00:05:20,386 --> 00:05:22,422
HONEY, COME ON.
THAT'S NOT TRUE.
132
00:05:22,522 --> 00:05:24,190
ONLY YOUR LIFE
IS FALLING APART.
133
00:05:24,290 --> 00:05:25,591
I STILL HAVE MY JOB,
134
00:05:25,692 --> 00:05:27,527
AND, YOU KNOW, YOU REALLY
HAVEN'T BROUGHT IN
135
00:05:27,627 --> 00:05:29,362
THAT MUCH MONEY
THIS PAST YEAR, ANYWAY, SO...
136
00:05:29,462 --> 00:05:32,265
ARE YOU SAYING I'VE
BROUGHT NOTHING TO THE
TABLE THIS ENTIRE TIME?
137
00:05:32,365 --> 00:05:33,966
NO, I--I AM NOT
SAYING THAT.
138
00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:36,336
Y-YOU'VE BROUGHT PLUCK.
139
00:05:37,637 --> 00:05:38,771
PLUCK?
140
00:05:38,871 --> 00:05:40,873
YES. YOU'RE--
YOU'RE VERY PLUCKY,
141
00:05:40,973 --> 00:05:43,009
AND YOU'RE--
YOU'RE A GOOD MOTHER.
142
00:05:43,109 --> 00:05:45,445
HUH? YOU SEE
WHERE I'M GOIN' HERE?
143
00:05:45,545 --> 00:05:46,979
MOTHER PLUCKER?
144
00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:48,247
YEAH, THAT'S IT.
THAT'S--
145
00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:50,083
THAT'S GOOD.
IT'S A GOOD THING.
146
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:52,518
YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU'RE NOT MAKING ME
FEEL ANY BETTER, OK?
147
00:05:52,618 --> 00:05:55,388
ALL RIGHT, LOOK.
HONESTLY, JOY, WE ARE
FINE FINANCIALLY.
148
00:05:55,488 --> 00:05:57,724
I-I'M STILL TEACHING.
I'M WRITING THAT BOOK.
149
00:05:57,824 --> 00:06:00,693
I GOT 2 JOBS.
WE DON'T EVEN NEED YOU.
150
00:06:01,894 --> 00:06:03,262
WHAT?
151
00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:06,666
WHAT I'M SAYING IS
I THINK THIS IS
A WONDERFUL OPPORTUNITY
152
00:06:06,766 --> 00:06:09,535
FOR YOU TO BECOME
A TROPHY WIFE FOR A WHILE.
153
00:06:09,635 --> 00:06:11,170
REALLY?
154
00:06:11,270 --> 00:06:15,408
ABSOLUTELY. NOT FOREVER,
BECAUSE, YOU KNOW,
AFTER SOME TIME,
155
00:06:15,508 --> 00:06:18,344
YOU'LL BEGIN TO SAG AND DROOP
AND WHAT WAS ONCE A TROPHY
156
00:06:18,444 --> 00:06:20,146
BECOMES A TRAGIC REMINDER
OF WHAT USED TO BE.
157
00:06:20,246 --> 00:06:24,584
YOU SEE? BUT--BUT YOU
STILL GOT A LOT OF TREAD
ON THOSE TIRES, BABY.
158
00:06:26,452 --> 00:06:27,587
THANKS.
159
00:06:27,687 --> 00:06:29,489
EDDIE, I NEEDED
TO HEAR THAT.
160
00:06:32,325 --> 00:06:35,161
OH, HELLO, MOTHER STARK.
NO WORK TODAY?
161
00:06:37,296 --> 00:06:38,598
DAMN IT, DOUG.
162
00:06:38,698 --> 00:06:41,768
I ALMOST HAD HER
IN THE BOAT, AND YOU
BROKE THE LINE.
163
00:06:41,868 --> 00:06:42,969
WHAT DID I SAY?
164
00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:44,437
NEVER MIND.
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
165
00:06:44,537 --> 00:06:48,207
WELL, I WAS HOPING
THAT MAYBE YOU COULD
DO ME A FAVOR.
166
00:06:48,307 --> 00:06:50,209
NO.
167
00:06:50,309 --> 00:06:51,544
IT'S FOR ALLY.
168
00:06:51,644 --> 00:06:53,012
AW, GOD. MY KRYPTONITE.
169
00:06:53,112 --> 00:06:55,314
OK, WH-WHAT IS IT?
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
170
00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:56,983
WELL, SHE'S GOT
A BAD COLD,
171
00:06:57,083 --> 00:06:59,318
AND I NEED A RIDE
TO GO GET HER SOMETHING
172
00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:00,853
AT THE HOMEOPATHIC
PHARMACY.
173
00:07:00,953 --> 00:07:02,822
WELL, WHY DON'T
YOU JUST GO DOWN THE--
174
00:07:02,922 --> 00:07:05,725
W-WAIT A MINUTE.
ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT THE PLACE
ON THE EAST SIDE?
175
00:07:05,825 --> 00:07:07,193
YEAH, RIGHT NEXT TO THE
176
00:07:07,293 --> 00:07:10,363
[BRITISH ACCENT]
NAUGHTY PINE FACTORY.
177
00:07:12,965 --> 00:07:14,033
YEAH.
178
00:07:14,133 --> 00:07:15,968
THE KNOTTY PINE FACTORY?
NO. NO, NO.
179
00:07:16,068 --> 00:07:18,271
[BRITISH ACCENT]
NAUGHTY PINE,
180
00:07:18,371 --> 00:07:21,174
AS IN, "YOU'VE BEEN
A NAUGHTY BOY,
181
00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:23,976
AND YOU'VE GOTTA
GET A SPANKING."
182
00:07:26,179 --> 00:07:29,282
[NORMAL] THEY MAKE
HAND-CARVED BIRDS AND,
183
00:07:29,382 --> 00:07:32,885
UH, WOODEN MARITAL AIDS.
184
00:07:32,985 --> 00:07:34,554
OH, WAIT. WAIT, WAIT.
I KNOW THIS PLACE.
185
00:07:34,654 --> 00:07:36,322
IT'S RIGHT NEXT TO A RESTAURANT
WHERE I LIKE TO GO FOR LUNCH.
186
00:07:36,422 --> 00:07:37,590
COME ON. LET'S GO.
187
00:07:37,690 --> 00:07:38,858
REALLY?
YOU DON'T MIND?
188
00:07:38,958 --> 00:07:40,126
NO. NO, NOT AT ALL.
189
00:07:40,226 --> 00:07:41,360
WE'LL GRAB A BITE.
190
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:42,862
OH, THANK YOU, SIR.
191
00:07:42,962 --> 00:07:45,231
UH, HONEY, LISTEN.
WE'RE GONNA GET OUT
OF HERE FOR A WHILE.
192
00:07:45,331 --> 00:07:47,900
I GOTTA TAKE DOUG
TO THE HOMOPHOBIC
PHARMACY.
193
00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:49,936
CAN YOU STOP BY
NAUGHTY PINE
194
00:07:50,036 --> 00:07:51,838
AND SEE IF MY
WOODPECKER'S READY?
195
00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:54,874
I LOVE YOU.
196
00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:56,476
YEAH. OK.
197
00:08:05,918 --> 00:08:08,821
UM, SIR, ARE YOU
SURE YOU WANNA EAT
AT THIS STRIP CLUB?
198
00:08:08,921 --> 00:08:11,691
WELL, LISTEN. I FIGURE
SINCE WE'RE ON OUR WAY
TO THE DRUG STORE,
199
00:08:11,791 --> 00:08:14,560
WHY NOT MAKE A STOP
AT THE JUG STORE? HUH?
200
00:08:15,895 --> 00:08:18,097
YEAH, BUT MY WIFE,
YOUR DAUGHTER, IS SICK.
201
00:08:18,197 --> 00:08:19,532
I NEED TO GET HER
SOME MEDICINE.
202
00:08:19,632 --> 00:08:22,068
OH, RELAX, DOUG.
WOMEN ARE STRONG,
YOU KNOW.
203
00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:23,369
THEY--THEY CRACK
RIGHT OPEN,
204
00:08:23,469 --> 00:08:25,037
AND ANOTHER PERSON
SHOOTS OUT OF 'EM.
205
00:08:25,137 --> 00:08:26,806
SHE'LL BE FINE.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
206
00:08:26,906 --> 00:08:28,674
JUST RELAX. HERE.
LOOK AT THE MENU,
SCRUFFY.
207
00:08:28,774 --> 00:08:30,042
ALL RIGHT, FINE.
208
00:08:30,142 --> 00:08:31,744
IS THE FOOD ANY GOOD?
209
00:08:31,844 --> 00:08:34,947
I DON'T KNOW.
I'VE ONLY EATEN HERE
ABOUT 30 OR 40 TIMES.
210
00:08:36,048 --> 00:08:38,351
HI, GUYS.
WHAT CAN I GET YOU?
211
00:08:38,451 --> 00:08:40,820
UH...
212
00:08:42,054 --> 00:08:44,123
WE'LL TAKE
A PAIR OF BEERS
213
00:08:44,223 --> 00:08:47,193
AND, UM,
AN ORDER OF WINGS.
214
00:08:47,293 --> 00:08:48,995
WHOA, WHOA. WAIT.
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. HOLD ON.
215
00:08:49,095 --> 00:08:50,429
ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT
THE WINGS FROM CHICKENS?
216
00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:52,698
NO, NO, NO, DOUG.
THEY'RE ANGEL WINGS.
217
00:08:52,798 --> 00:08:54,901
I'M SORRY, SIR.
I JUST HAVE TO ASK
A FEW QUESTIONS.
218
00:08:55,001 --> 00:08:58,271
WELLESLEY, WHAT KIND
OF LIVES DID THESE CHICKENS HAVE
219
00:08:58,371 --> 00:08:59,972
BEFORE THEY
WERE SLAUGHTERED?
220
00:09:00,072 --> 00:09:01,974
OK, LISTEN.
THOSE CHICKENS
WEREN'T SLAUGHTERED.
221
00:09:02,074 --> 00:09:04,710
THEIR WINGS WERE
JUST RIPPED OFF.
222
00:09:05,978 --> 00:09:07,947
OK, NOW THEY'RE STILL
WALKING AROUND.
223
00:09:08,047 --> 00:09:09,882
ONLY, NOW THEY GET
DISABILITY CHECKS
224
00:09:09,982 --> 00:09:12,451
AND A CRAZY STORY TO
TELL THEIR FRIENDS, OK?
225
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:14,654
SO EVERYBODY WINS,
ALL RIGHT?
226
00:09:14,754 --> 00:09:16,322
WE'LL TAKE
THE BEER AND WINGS,
227
00:09:16,422 --> 00:09:18,524
AND WALK AWAY
BEFORE HE STARTS
TALKIN' AGAIN, PLEASE.
228
00:09:18,624 --> 00:09:20,660
GOT IT.
229
00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:21,861
I--I DON'T UNDERSTAND, SIR.
230
00:09:21,961 --> 00:09:23,796
WHY DO YOU COME HERE
ALL THE TIME
231
00:09:23,896 --> 00:09:26,265
IF YOU OBVIOUSLY
DON'T CARE ABOUT THE FOOD?
232
00:09:26,365 --> 00:09:28,734
OK.
233
00:09:30,603 --> 00:09:32,672
LET ME MAKE IT CLEAR
FOR YOU.
234
00:09:32,772 --> 00:09:34,173
UH, SARAH LAWRENCE,
CAN WE, UH,
235
00:09:34,273 --> 00:09:37,143
GET, UH, SOME WATER,
PLEASE?
236
00:09:41,180 --> 00:09:43,282
CLEAR?
237
00:09:43,382 --> 00:09:45,351
ABUNDANTLY.
238
00:09:49,488 --> 00:09:51,457
[COUGHING]
239
00:09:51,557 --> 00:09:53,826
HEY, BABE.
HOW YOU FEELIN'?
240
00:09:53,926 --> 00:09:56,462
BAD. I CAN'T WAIT
FOR DOUG TO GET BACK.
241
00:09:56,562 --> 00:09:58,831
OH, I FEEL THAT WAY
ABOUT YOUR FATHER
242
00:09:58,931 --> 00:10:00,800
WHEN I SEND HIM OUT
FOR VODKA.
243
00:10:00,900 --> 00:10:03,402
WHAT'S THAT?
244
00:10:03,502 --> 00:10:06,672
UH, IT'S A RUSSIAN
LIQUOR MADE
FROM POTATOES.
245
00:10:06,772 --> 00:10:08,174
I'M GOING TO HIT YOU.
246
00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:09,875
I'M SURE YOU ARE.
LISTEN, UH, SWEETIE,
247
00:10:09,976 --> 00:10:11,611
THIS ALWAYS WORKS
WHEN YOU'RE SICK.
248
00:10:11,711 --> 00:10:14,246
YOU TAKE
A LITTLE SWIG OF THIS
EVERY 15 MINUTES,
249
00:10:14,347 --> 00:10:15,514
AND YOU'LL FEEL BETTER.
250
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,883
MOM, THAT STUFF
IS 40% ALCOHOL.
251
00:10:17,984 --> 00:10:19,952
I SAID
YOU'LL FEEL BETTER.
252
00:10:21,487 --> 00:10:22,622
I REPEAT--WHAT IS THAT?
253
00:10:22,722 --> 00:10:24,690
OH, THIS IS MY RESUME.
254
00:10:25,891 --> 00:10:27,493
OH, IT'S A GOOD START.
255
00:10:27,593 --> 00:10:29,629
I'M FINISHED.
256
00:10:29,729 --> 00:10:30,796
LOOKS PRETTY GOOD.
257
00:10:30,896 --> 00:10:33,065
YOU'VE GOT 6 YEARS
AS A BABY SITTER.
258
00:10:33,165 --> 00:10:34,266
MM-HMM. YEAH.
259
00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:36,035
THAT WAS
IN HIGH SCHOOL.
260
00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:40,339
OK. AND THE ONLY THING
OTHER THAN THAT ON HERE
IS THE TRAVEL AGENCY.
261
00:10:40,439 --> 00:10:42,375
WHAT DID YOU DO
IN BETWEEN?
262
00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:44,243
THE NAVY.
263
00:10:47,747 --> 00:10:49,015
ALLY, IT'S A JOKE.
264
00:10:49,115 --> 00:10:50,583
YEAH, I KNOW. SORRY.
265
00:10:50,683 --> 00:10:54,053
THE WHOLE "MY MOTHER'S
A WHORE" JOKE WENT
RIGHT OVER MY HEAD.
266
00:10:54,153 --> 00:10:55,921
[SIGHS] LET'S SEE.
IT SAYS HERE
267
00:10:56,022 --> 00:10:58,090
THAT YOU SPEAK
A FOREIGN LANGUAGE.
268
00:10:58,190 --> 00:10:59,358
OH, I DO.
HERE. LISTEN.
269
00:10:59,458 --> 00:11:00,593
[BRITISH ACCENT]
HELLO, GUVNER.
270
00:11:00,693 --> 00:11:03,295
WOULD YOU LIKE
SOME TEA AND CRUMPETS?
271
00:11:07,833 --> 00:11:11,003
ENGLISH IS NOT
A FOREIGN LANGUAGE.
272
00:11:11,771 --> 00:11:13,305
OH. OK, ALL RIGHT.
273
00:11:13,406 --> 00:11:15,941
I KNOW. I KNOW IT'S
NOT MUCH OF A RESUME.
274
00:11:16,042 --> 00:11:18,644
I'M STILL HOPING
I CAN CHARM MY WAY IN
SOMEWHERE.
275
00:11:18,744 --> 00:11:20,279
YOU KNOW, IT'S
A LITTLE BIT DAUNTING
276
00:11:20,379 --> 00:11:23,649
LOOKING FOR A NEW
LINE OF WORK AT THIS
POINT IN MY LIFE.
277
00:11:23,749 --> 00:11:27,820
I FEEL LIKE I'M THE ONLY
GIRL LEFT AT THE BAR
AT CLOSING TIME.
278
00:11:29,121 --> 00:11:31,290
ISN'T THAT
HOW YOU MET DAD?
279
00:11:32,558 --> 00:11:34,293
TWICE.
280
00:11:35,261 --> 00:11:37,563
HEY, HOW ARE YOU
ON THE COMPUTER?
281
00:11:37,663 --> 00:11:41,500
WELL, WE ONLY DID IT
ON THE COMPUTER ONCE.
282
00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:43,903
WE TRIED TO DO IT
A SECOND TIME.
283
00:11:44,003 --> 00:11:46,005
I COULDN'T GET HIM
TO REBOOT.
284
00:11:47,106 --> 00:11:48,874
I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU.
285
00:11:48,974 --> 00:11:50,042
I KNOW.
286
00:11:50,142 --> 00:11:51,610
COMPUTER SKILLS
ARE IMPORTANT.
287
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:54,046
YEAH. YOU KNOW
WHAT'S MORE IMPORTANT
THAN COMPUTER SKILLS?
288
00:11:54,146 --> 00:11:55,948
PEOPLE SKILLS.
I HAVE PEOPLE SKILLS.
289
00:11:56,048 --> 00:11:57,983
YEAH. YOU'RE RIGHT.
290
00:11:58,084 --> 00:11:59,919
YOU ARE GOING TO BE
JUST FINE.
291
00:12:00,019 --> 00:12:01,821
ANYWHERE WOULD BE
LUCKY TO HAVE YOU.
292
00:12:01,921 --> 00:12:03,022
OH, YOU'RE SWEET.
293
00:12:03,122 --> 00:12:04,924
I TAKE AFTER YOU.
I LOVE YOU.
294
00:12:05,024 --> 00:12:06,559
YEAH. OK.
295
00:12:10,529 --> 00:12:12,865
SO, FEELIN' BETTER,
HUH, BABE?
296
00:12:12,965 --> 00:12:14,967
YEAH. LOT BETTER.
297
00:12:15,067 --> 00:12:17,369
THAT'S
MY LITTLE GIRL.
298
00:12:17,470 --> 00:12:18,804
HOW'S MY BIG GIRL, HUH?
299
00:12:18,904 --> 00:12:21,507
IS SHE GETTIN' READY
FOR HER JOB HUNT?
300
00:12:21,607 --> 00:12:23,642
YES, EDDIE,
AND I AM SO EXCITED.
301
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:26,579
THERE'S A WORLD
OF POSSIBILITIES
OUT THERE FOR ME.
302
00:12:26,679 --> 00:12:29,615
YEAH, AND THEY'RE
ALL BAD.
303
00:12:29,715 --> 00:12:31,250
VERTICAL INTEGRATION
HAS RESULTED
304
00:12:31,350 --> 00:12:33,786
IN WHAT I LIKE
TO CALL "CORPTHINK."
305
00:12:33,886 --> 00:12:35,521
OH, GOD.
NOT CORPTHINK AGAIN.
306
00:12:35,621 --> 00:12:39,358
YEAH. I KNOW YOU ALL THINK
THIS IS SOME PYNCHONION,
PARANOID FANTASY,
307
00:12:39,458 --> 00:12:41,260
BUT IT'S HAPPENIN',
ALLY, ALL RIGHT?
308
00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:45,631
BEFORE YOU KNOW IT,
BILL GATES IS GONNA BE
RUNNIN' THE ENTIRE WORLD.
309
00:12:45,731 --> 00:12:47,967
NOT ME.
IT'S NOT GONNA GET ME.
310
00:12:48,067 --> 00:12:51,704
YEAH. I HAVE
A FEELING YOU'RE NOT
ON BILL GATES' RADAR.
311
00:12:51,804 --> 00:12:53,639
YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUNNY?
312
00:12:53,739 --> 00:12:55,741
I THINK BILL GATES
HAS RADAR.
313
00:12:55,841 --> 00:12:57,510
I DON'T EVEN THINK
HE'S A HUMAN BEING.
314
00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:59,712
I THINK HE'S A CYBORG,
AND THEY JUST MADE HIM
315
00:12:59,812 --> 00:13:01,580
LOOK LIKE A SOCK PUPPET
WITH GLASSES
316
00:13:01,680 --> 00:13:03,549
SO THAT HE WON'T
SEEM THREATENING.
317
00:13:04,316 --> 00:13:05,751
I LOVE BILL GATES.
318
00:13:05,851 --> 00:13:06,886
ME, TOO.
319
00:13:06,986 --> 00:13:09,922
I'D LET HIM
HAVE HIS WAY WITH ME...
320
00:13:10,923 --> 00:13:13,726
AND THEN
I'D MAKE HIM PAY.
321
00:13:13,826 --> 00:13:16,128
SEE, THAT'S 'CAUSE YOU ALL
WORSHIP MONEY. I DON'T.
322
00:13:16,228 --> 00:13:17,997
YEAH, THAT'S BECAUSE
YOU DON'T HAVE ANY.
323
00:13:18,097 --> 00:13:20,099
THE BOTH OF YOU,
YOU'RE LIKE 2 LITTLE
NAKED BIRDS
324
00:13:20,199 --> 00:13:21,767
SITTIN' IN A NEST.
"FEED ME."
325
00:13:21,867 --> 00:13:23,969
[CHIRPING]
326
00:13:28,574 --> 00:13:31,677
YEAH, YOU TWO
SHOULD THANK
YOUR LUCKY STARS
327
00:13:31,777 --> 00:13:33,779
YOU GOT EDDIE
TWO-JOBS HERE.
328
00:13:33,879 --> 00:13:35,581
HEH HEH.
HEY, I LIKE THAT.
329
00:13:35,681 --> 00:13:36,982
EDDIE TWO-JOBS.
330
00:13:37,082 --> 00:13:40,085
I'M LIKE THE MOST
RESPONSIBLE ITALIAN
IN THE WORLD.
331
00:13:40,186 --> 00:13:43,789
HEY, LISTEN, I CAN'T
WHACK YOU RIGHT NOW.
332
00:13:43,889 --> 00:13:46,625
WHY? I GOT 2 JOBS.
333
00:13:46,725 --> 00:13:48,160
[LAUGHS]
334
00:13:48,260 --> 00:13:50,663
BADA-BING, BADA-BOOM,
HUH?
335
00:13:52,731 --> 00:13:54,867
WHY DON'T YOU ACT
LIKE A MAN
336
00:13:54,967 --> 00:13:58,537
INSTEAD OF
SOME HOLLYWOOD-TYPE
OF MAMALUKE
337
00:13:58,637 --> 00:13:59,839
WHO CRIES LIKE A WOMAN?
338
00:13:59,939 --> 00:14:02,708
[DRAMATIC CRYING]
339
00:14:02,808 --> 00:14:04,944
[BLOWS, BLOWS]
340
00:14:11,951 --> 00:14:13,452
PRETTY SOON
WE'RE GONNA
BE A 3-JOB FAMILY,
341
00:14:13,552 --> 00:14:15,120
'CAUSE I'M
GONNA GO OUT AND
GET MYSELF HIRED.
342
00:14:15,221 --> 00:14:16,288
THERE YOU GO.
343
00:14:16,388 --> 00:14:18,023
YOU SEE THAT?
THAT'S CONFIDENCE.
344
00:14:18,123 --> 00:14:20,492
MM-HMM.
AND I'M FULL OF IT.
345
00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:24,196
GOT MY RESUME.
I'M LOOKIN'
DAMN GOOD.
346
00:14:24,296 --> 00:14:26,632
IT'S GONNA BE
A PIECE OF CAKE.
347
00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:29,501
YEAH.
348
00:14:29,602 --> 00:14:30,736
CHEERS.
349
00:14:30,836 --> 00:14:32,705
SEINFELD.
350
00:14:38,577 --> 00:14:39,812
HEY, HONEY.
351
00:14:39,912 --> 00:14:41,347
HOW WAS THE JOB SEARCH?
352
00:14:41,447 --> 00:14:42,915
THERE ARE
NO JOBS, EDDIE.
353
00:14:43,015 --> 00:14:44,817
THERE IS NO NOTHING
ANYMORE.
354
00:14:44,917 --> 00:14:46,585
THE ECONOMY
IS A DISASTER.
355
00:14:46,685 --> 00:14:49,088
THE END IS NEAR.
ON THE WAY HOME,
356
00:14:49,188 --> 00:14:51,590
I SAW THE 4 HORSEMEN
OF THE APOCALYPSE.
357
00:14:51,690 --> 00:14:53,959
THEY'RE LOOKING
FOR WORK, TOO.
358
00:14:54,059 --> 00:14:55,261
THEIR HORSES
ARE VERY SKINNY.
359
00:14:55,361 --> 00:14:57,263
AND THEN YOU KNOW
WHO I SAW?
360
00:14:57,363 --> 00:14:59,798
I SAW DEATH.
DEATH IS NEAR DEATH.
361
00:15:01,533 --> 00:15:02,768
IT'S HOPELESS.
362
00:15:02,868 --> 00:15:04,737
COME ON, NOW, JOY.
IT'S NOT THAT BAD.
363
00:15:04,837 --> 00:15:06,639
NO, IT IS BAD.
IT IS BAD, EDDIE, OK?
364
00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:08,774
I GOT TURNED DOWN
EVERYWHERE I WENT.
365
00:15:08,874 --> 00:15:10,976
I GOT TURNED DOWN
AS A MANICURIST,
366
00:15:11,076 --> 00:15:14,346
LARGELY BECAUSE
RICHARD NIXON
BAILED ON VIETNAM.
367
00:15:14,446 --> 00:15:17,449
I--I GOT TURNED DOWN
AT A HAIR EXTENSION KIOSK,
368
00:15:17,549 --> 00:15:20,753
AND I'VE GOT FANTASTIC
HAIR THAT LOOKS FAKE.
369
00:15:20,853 --> 00:15:22,388
SHALL I GO ON?
370
00:15:22,488 --> 00:15:24,590
UH, YES. I'M KIND OF
ENJOYING THIS.
371
00:15:24,690 --> 00:15:26,258
OK, HERE WE GO.
372
00:15:26,358 --> 00:15:29,261
I COULDN'T GET A JOB
AS A TEST SUBJECT FOR
BLADDER MEDICATION.
373
00:15:29,361 --> 00:15:30,896
I COULDN'T GET A JOB
374
00:15:30,996 --> 00:15:35,801
EXPRESSING
CANINE ANAL GLANDS
AT A VETERINARIAN.
375
00:15:35,901 --> 00:15:37,269
I WENT TO GOOGLE,
376
00:15:37,369 --> 00:15:40,572
AND THEY SAID
KEEP SEARCHING.
377
00:15:40,673 --> 00:15:43,676
HOWEVER, HOWEVER, I DID
THEN GET HIRED FINALLY.
378
00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:45,644
I GOT A JOB
AS A WINE TASTER,
379
00:15:45,744 --> 00:15:49,348
BUT THEY FIRED ME
BECAUSE I WOULDN'T SPIT,
I SWALLOWED.
380
00:15:51,750 --> 00:15:54,186
WELL, OLD HABITS DIE HARD.
381
00:15:57,022 --> 00:15:59,658
ALL RIGHT,
WELL, THAT WAS--
THAT WAS MY DAY.
382
00:15:59,758 --> 00:16:01,260
HOW WAS YOUR DAY, DEAR?
383
00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:04,730
WELL, I WENT
TO AMPLE D's...
384
00:16:04,830 --> 00:16:06,832
THE BREASTAURANT.
385
00:16:07,766 --> 00:16:08,934
IT WAS GREAT.
386
00:16:09,034 --> 00:16:11,570
OH. GLAD I COULD COUNT
ON YOU FOR SUPPORT.
387
00:16:11,670 --> 00:16:13,872
RIGHT.
YOU KNOW, NOW THAT
YOU MENTION IT,
388
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:16,508
WHY DO YOU GO
TO AMPLE D's?
389
00:16:16,608 --> 00:16:18,377
THE REASON I GO
TO AMPLE D's
390
00:16:18,477 --> 00:16:20,713
IS BECAUSE IT'S A REFUGE.
391
00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:22,514
IT'S A SANCTUARY.
392
00:16:22,614 --> 00:16:27,353
IT'S A BIG KNOCKER ZOO.
393
00:16:27,453 --> 00:16:31,623
HAVEN'T I BEEN
PROVIDING THAT FOR YOU
FOR 23 YEARS?
394
00:16:31,724 --> 00:16:33,092
YES, YOU SEE, BUT...
395
00:16:33,192 --> 00:16:36,929
YOUR BREASTS
ARE ATTACHED TO YOU.
396
00:16:37,029 --> 00:16:38,964
NOW, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
HOLD ON.
397
00:16:39,064 --> 00:16:41,166
NOW, I LOVE THEM,
AND I LOVE YOU,
398
00:16:41,266 --> 00:16:44,803
BUT SOMETIMES IT'S FUN
TO JUST GO SEE SOME...
399
00:16:44,903 --> 00:16:49,208
FRESH CLEAVAGE POINTING DOWN
AT A PLATE OF JALAPEÑO POPPERS.
400
00:16:50,142 --> 00:16:52,578
HOLD ON.
BACK UP, OK?
401
00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:54,813
DID YOU JUST SAY
THAT YOU LOVE ME?
402
00:16:54,913 --> 00:16:56,715
YES. OF COURSE.
I LOVE YOU.
403
00:16:56,815 --> 00:16:58,650
FINALLY.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
404
00:16:58,751 --> 00:17:01,887
I HAVE BEEN FISHING
FOR AN "I LOVE YOU"
FOR 3 DAYS NOW,
405
00:17:01,987 --> 00:17:04,223
AND ALL YOU GIVE ME
IS "YEAH, OK."
406
00:17:04,323 --> 00:17:05,858
YEAH, BUT SEE, "YEAH, OK"
407
00:17:05,958 --> 00:17:07,659
IS EDDIE SPEAK
FOR "I LOVE YOU."
408
00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:09,161
IT'S CODE.
409
00:17:09,261 --> 00:17:13,065
IT'S LIKE WHEN I PUSH
ON THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD.
410
00:17:15,834 --> 00:17:19,438
IT'S JUST NICE TO HEAR
THE WORDS NOW AND AGAIN,
YOU KNOW.
411
00:17:19,538 --> 00:17:22,374
BABY, I LOVE YOU.
412
00:17:24,209 --> 00:17:25,677
I LOVE YOU, TOO.
413
00:17:27,546 --> 00:17:30,883
SO, DO YOU NEED
ANYTHING FROM THE STORE?
414
00:17:30,983 --> 00:17:33,252
UH, NO. I'M GOOD.
415
00:17:38,290 --> 00:17:39,958
ARE--ARE YOU SURE?
416
00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:42,528
BECAUSE I--I CAN GET YOU
ANY--ANYTHING YOU NEED.
417
00:17:42,628 --> 00:17:46,632
UH, NO. I MEAN, LIKE,
I DON'T WANT YOU TO HAVE
TO WALK ALL OVER TOWN.
418
00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:49,935
NO, THAT'S OK, BECAUSE,
UH, YOUR--YOUR DAD'LL
GIVE ME A RIDE.
419
00:17:50,035 --> 00:17:52,137
YOU ACTUALLY WANNA
SPEND TIME WITH MY FATHER?
420
00:17:52,237 --> 00:17:54,940
OH, HE'S A--
A FASCINATING MAN.
421
00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:58,510
HE, UH--KEEPS ABREAST...
422
00:17:58,610 --> 00:18:01,413
OF CURRENT EVENTS.
423
00:18:03,248 --> 00:18:06,251
OK. WELL, I MEAN,
THE ONLY THING THAT I COULD USE
424
00:18:06,351 --> 00:18:08,253
IS SOMETHING YOU'RE
NOT GONNA WANNA GET.
425
00:18:08,353 --> 00:18:10,289
TAMPONS--EASY GLIDE,
HEAVY FLOW?
426
00:18:10,389 --> 00:18:11,490
YEAH.
427
00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:13,392
COMIN' RIGHT UP.
428
00:18:15,594 --> 00:18:17,996
SO, YOU GONNA ORDER
SOMETHING THIS TIME?
429
00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:20,666
NO, SIR. I'M STRICTLY HERE
FOR THE HEALING PURPOSES
430
00:18:20,766 --> 00:18:23,569
OF THE WATER-POURING
CEREMONY.
431
00:18:23,669 --> 00:18:25,771
OHH. BOY,
I HOPE THEY HURRY UP.
432
00:18:25,871 --> 00:18:29,808
I REALLY GOTTA GO
TO THE BATHROOM, BUT I DON'T
WANNA MISS A DROP.
433
00:18:32,010 --> 00:18:34,880
OK, I'M GONNA GO
WITH THE, UH...
434
00:18:34,980 --> 00:18:38,650
HAMELA ANDERSON SANDWICH
AND A BEER.
435
00:18:39,384 --> 00:18:41,987
HELLO, JOY.
436
00:18:52,664 --> 00:18:54,032
I GOT A JOB.
437
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:55,601
YEAH.
438
00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:58,237
SO I SEE.
439
00:18:58,337 --> 00:19:00,606
YOU KNOW, IT'S THE
CRAZY THING, TOO.
440
00:19:00,706 --> 00:19:03,375
THEY DIDN'T EVEN
LOOK AT MY RESUME.
441
00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:08,780
BELIEVE ME, THEY LOOKED
AT BOTH OF 'EM.
442
00:19:08,881 --> 00:19:11,650
HERE, DOUG. LET ME
POUR YOU SOME WATER.
443
00:19:11,750 --> 00:19:14,453
NO. NO, NO, NO.
I, UH--
444
00:19:14,553 --> 00:19:18,790
I, UH, REALLY NEED
TO GO GET SOME TAMPONS.
445
00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:23,061
I'M NOT EVEN GONNA ASK.
446
00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:24,963
WELL, I HAVE TO
HAND IT TO YOU, JOY.
447
00:19:25,063 --> 00:19:27,866
ONLY YOU
CAN RUIN AMPLE D's.
448
00:19:27,966 --> 00:19:29,801
WELL, LOOK AT
THE BRIGHT SIDE, EDDIE.
449
00:19:29,902 --> 00:19:31,870
I MEAN, WHEN'S THE LAST TIME
YOU HAD A SHOT
450
00:19:31,970 --> 00:19:34,273
AT GOING HOME
WITH A WAITRESS
FROM AMPLE D's, HUH?
451
00:19:34,373 --> 00:19:35,807
YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU'RE RIGHT.
452
00:19:35,908 --> 00:19:37,342
CONGRATULATIONS
TO BOTH OF US.
453
00:19:37,442 --> 00:19:39,678
OR, UH, ALL 4 OF US,
ACTUALLY.
454
00:19:39,778 --> 00:19:42,481
LISTEN, EDDIE,
I THINK THAT THIS
IS A GOOD JOB FOR ME.
455
00:19:42,581 --> 00:19:46,218
I HAVE THE PERFECT
COMBINATION OF HIGH
AND LOW SELF-ESTEEM
456
00:19:46,318 --> 00:19:48,720
TO MAKE A KILLING
IN THIS PLACE.
457
00:19:48,820 --> 00:19:49,922
EXCUSE ME, DeVRY.
458
00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:51,557
STOP FRATERNIZING
WITH THE CUSTOMERS.
459
00:19:51,657 --> 00:19:53,125
AND HOIST UP YOUR GIRLS.
460
00:19:53,225 --> 00:19:56,195
LET'S ACT LIKE WE CARE.
461
00:19:56,295 --> 00:19:57,930
MY GOD, WHAT THE HELL
ARE YOU DOING HERE?
462
00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:00,165
I--I THOUGHT YOU WERE
WORKIN' AT THE SUB SHOP.
463
00:20:00,265 --> 00:20:01,967
THEY SAID I WAS BAD
WITH THE CUSTOMERS.
464
00:20:02,067 --> 00:20:04,903
YEAH. YOU KNOW,
I SEE YOU OVER THERE.
YOU CAN STOP WAVING.
465
00:20:05,003 --> 00:20:06,572
WE'RE NOT
IN A DAMN PARADE.
466
00:20:06,672 --> 00:20:09,308
ALL RIGHT, GO AHEAD.
GET A LOOK.
467
00:20:09,408 --> 00:20:11,009
STOP PRETENDING LIKE YOU'RE
WATCHING THE GAME.
468
00:20:11,109 --> 00:20:13,412
JUST LOOK AT 'EM.
LOOK AT 'EM.
469
00:20:15,781 --> 00:20:18,183
YOU PATHETIC LOSERS.
470
00:20:19,151 --> 00:20:20,285
YOU KNOW,
YOU MIGHT WANNA
471
00:20:20,385 --> 00:20:22,955
ICE THOSE PUPPIES UP
A LITTLE.
472
00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:24,890
WELL, IT'S NICE
TO SEE THAT EVERYBODY
473
00:20:24,990 --> 00:20:27,326
FROM THE TRAVEL AGENCY
LANDED ON THEIR FEET,
474
00:20:27,426 --> 00:20:29,628
AND WHEN I SAY, "FEET,"
I MEAN--
475
00:20:29,728 --> 00:20:31,463
I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
476
00:20:31,563 --> 00:20:32,898
I'M HAPPY FOR YOU,
JOY-JOY.
477
00:20:32,998 --> 00:20:34,166
I LOVE YOU.
478
00:20:34,266 --> 00:20:35,534
YEAH, OK.
479
00:20:37,569 --> 00:20:40,539
HEY. HOW WAS WORK?
480
00:20:40,639 --> 00:20:42,708
I GOT FIRED.
481
00:20:42,808 --> 00:20:44,343
WHAT? WHAT HAPPENED?
482
00:20:44,443 --> 00:20:46,578
THEY SWITCHED
TO THE SUMMER
UNIFORMS.
483
00:20:46,678 --> 00:20:47,813
SO WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
484
00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:49,014
I DON'T WANNA
TALK ABOUT IT.
485
00:20:49,114 --> 00:20:50,282
ARE THE SUMMER UNIFORMS
SLEEVELESS?
486
00:20:50,382 --> 00:20:52,651
I SAID I DON'T
WANNA TALK ABOUT IT!
487
00:20:57,489 --> 00:20:59,091
{\an8}UH, WELLESLEY,
488
00:20:59,191 --> 00:21:01,727
{\an8}UH, WHAT KIND
OF CHICKENS, UH--
489
00:21:01,827 --> 00:21:03,061
{\an8}HEH HEH. WHAT--
490
00:21:03,161 --> 00:21:05,764
{\an8}SORRY. MY BAD.
491
00:21:08,967 --> 00:21:11,136
{\an8}THEY'RE SO BEAUTIFUL.
492
00:21:11,236 --> 00:21:12,804
{\an8}I'M SORRY.
493
00:21:12,904 --> 00:21:15,173
{\an8}ALL RIGHT.
LET ME SEE.
494
00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:18,644
{\an8}I'M GONNA GO
WITH THE, UH...
495
00:21:18,744 --> 00:21:20,979
{\an8}[LAUGHTER]
38413
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
