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1
00:00:00,967 --> 00:00:04,637
♪ EVERY TIME I ZIG,
YOU ZAG ♪
2
00:00:04,738 --> 00:00:07,974
♪ I LIKE COFFEE,
TEA'S YOUR BAG ♪
3
00:00:08,074 --> 00:00:09,909
♪ THOUGH IT MAKES
NO SENSE, IT'S TRUE ♪
4
00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:12,479
♪ THERE'S NO ME
WITHOUT YOU ♪
5
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:16,983
{\an8}'TIL DEATH IS FILMED IN FRONT
OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE.
6
00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:22,389
{\an8}THEY BRING IT
RIGHT TO THE HOUSE.
7
00:00:22,489 --> 00:00:25,091
{\an8}STILL AMAZES ME.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
8
00:00:25,191 --> 00:00:26,359
{\an8}SETTING THE TABLE.
9
00:00:26,459 --> 00:00:28,628
{\an8}PAPER PLATES TOO
HIGHFALUTIN' FOR YOU?
10
00:00:28,728 --> 00:00:31,331
{\an8}OK. HONEY, FIRST OF ALL,
THE CHEESE IS THE MEAL,
11
00:00:31,431 --> 00:00:33,600
{\an8}AND THE CRUST
IS THE PLATE.
12
00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:36,236
{\an8}AND SECONDLY, WE'RE
EATING UPSTAIRS TONIGHT.
13
00:00:36,336 --> 00:00:37,437
{\an8}WHY?
14
00:00:37,537 --> 00:00:38,738
{\an8}WELL, BECAUSE...
15
00:00:38,838 --> 00:00:40,273
{\an8}KENNY HAS THAT THIRD DATE
WITH THAT GIRL ANGIE,
16
00:00:40,373 --> 00:00:41,508
{\an8}AND HE'S GOING TO
BRING HER BACK,
17
00:00:41,608 --> 00:00:43,777
{\an8}AND I TOLD HIM WE'D,
YOU KNOW, CLEAR OUT.
18
00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:45,011
{\an8}CLEAR OUT?
19
00:00:45,111 --> 00:00:47,647
{\an8}WHAT, ARE WE LIVING
IN A DORM, EDDIE?
20
00:00:47,747 --> 00:00:48,915
{\an8}THIS IS OUR HOME.
21
00:00:49,015 --> 00:00:51,785
{\an8}OK, FINE. I'LL JUST TELL
KENNY YOU'RE NOT COOL.
22
00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:53,153
{\an8}YES, PLEASE.
PLEASE TELL KENNY
23
00:00:53,253 --> 00:00:54,888
{\an8}THAT I'M NOT COOL
WITH HIM BREAKING
24
00:00:54,988 --> 00:00:56,956
{\an8}4 COMMANDMENTS
ON MY COUCH.
25
00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:58,425
{\an8}OH, COME ON, EDDIE.
26
00:00:58,525 --> 00:00:59,826
{\an8}PEPPERONI
ON THE WHOLE THING?
27
00:00:59,926 --> 00:01:01,795
{\an8}WHY DO YOU EVEN
ASK ME WHAT I WANT?
28
00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:03,263
{\an8}AGAIN, IF I ORDER
A PIZZA
29
00:01:03,363 --> 00:01:05,031
{\an8}WITH HALF PEPPERONI
AND HALF CHEESE,
30
00:01:05,131 --> 00:01:06,366
{\an8}THEY STILL CHARGE ME
THE $2.95
31
00:01:06,466 --> 00:01:09,969
{\an8}AS IF I WAS GETTING
PEPPERONI ON THE WHOLE PIE.
32
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:12,539
{\an8}SO BE A TEAM PLAYER.
PICK IT OFF ON YOUR SIDE
33
00:01:12,639 --> 00:01:14,808
{\an8}AND PUT IT ON MY SIDE.
WIN-WIN.
34
00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:17,577
{\an8}WHAT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
IS IT'S NOT A WIN FOR ME
35
00:01:17,677 --> 00:01:19,546
{\an8}BECAUSE EVEN AFTER
I'VE PICKED IT ALL OFF,
36
00:01:19,646 --> 00:01:21,981
{\an8}MY SIDE IS STILL COVERED
WITH PEPPERONI JUICE.
37
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:23,316
{\an8}JOY, JOY...
38
00:01:23,416 --> 00:01:25,085
{\an8}FIRST OF ALL, THERE'S NO SUCH
THING AS PEPPERONI JUICE
39
00:01:25,185 --> 00:01:26,653
{\an8}BECAUSE IF THERE WAS,
I WOULD HAVE
40
00:01:26,753 --> 00:01:28,488
{\an8}A WHOLE GALLON OF IT
IN OUR FRIDGE.
41
00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:29,589
{\an8}[KENNY SIGHS]
42
00:01:29,689 --> 00:01:32,358
{\an8}HEY, HOW WAS
THE WATER PARK?
43
00:01:32,459 --> 00:01:33,593
{\an8}IT WAS OK.
44
00:01:33,693 --> 00:01:35,128
{\an8}WHERE'S
YOUR LADY FRIEND?
45
00:01:35,228 --> 00:01:37,530
{\an8}HOME.
46
00:01:37,630 --> 00:01:39,933
{\an8}I THOUGHT THIS WAS THE BIG DATE.
WHAT HAPPENED?
47
00:01:40,033 --> 00:01:42,235
{\an8}WELL, WE WERE ON OUR WAY
OUT OF THE PARK,
48
00:01:42,335 --> 00:01:43,503
{\an8}AND SHE WANTED TO GO
BACK IN THERE
49
00:01:43,603 --> 00:01:45,972
{\an8}TO TAKE ONE MORE RIDE
ON THE PIRATES PLUNGE.
50
00:01:46,072 --> 00:01:47,607
OH, YEAH. I'VE
SEEN THAT ON TV.
51
00:01:47,707 --> 00:01:50,009
"ARR, MATEYS, COME
AND GET ME ALL WET--"
52
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:51,177
[KISS]
53
00:01:51,277 --> 00:01:52,278
ANYWAY...
54
00:01:52,378 --> 00:01:53,480
I'M COMING AROUND
THE LAST CURVE,
55
00:01:53,580 --> 00:01:57,117
AND MY BATHING SUIT
GETS AWAY FROM ME.
56
00:01:57,217 --> 00:02:00,453
AND SHE SAW SOMETHING THAT
"DIDN'T QUITE WORK FOR HER."
57
00:02:05,992 --> 00:02:07,827
ARE WE SUPPOSED
TO GUESS?
58
00:02:07,927 --> 00:02:09,696
OH, OH, I'LL GO.
I'LL GO.
59
00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:12,832
AN EXTRA NUGGET
IN YOUR HAPPY MEAL?
60
00:02:15,702 --> 00:02:17,437
I'M NOT CIRCUMCISED!
61
00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:19,806
SEE THAT?
62
00:02:19,906 --> 00:02:21,040
THAT'S THE LOOK
ANGIE GAVE ME.
63
00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:22,509
IT'S THE SAME LOOK
I'VE BEEN GETTING
64
00:02:22,609 --> 00:02:23,977
FROM WOMEN
MY WHOLE LIFE.
65
00:02:24,077 --> 00:02:26,679
THAT'S FUNNY. MOST GUYS
HAVE TO APOLOGIZE AFTER SEX,
66
00:02:26,779 --> 00:02:30,150
BUT YOU HAVE TO
APOLOGIZE BEFORE.
67
00:02:30,250 --> 00:02:33,153
WHY WOULD YOU HAVE
TO APOLOGIZE AFTER SEX?
68
00:02:35,488 --> 00:02:37,891
NOT TO HER,
TO THE NEIGHBORS.
69
00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:42,162
UP HIGH. COME ON!
70
00:02:43,863 --> 00:02:45,798
ALL I KNOW IS, I'M
GETTING THIS THING DONE.
71
00:02:45,899 --> 00:02:47,467
NOW? AS AN ADULT?
72
00:02:47,567 --> 00:02:49,002
I MEAN,
I DON'T HAVE ONE,
73
00:02:49,102 --> 00:02:51,371
BUT AREN'T
THOSE THINGS
A LITTLE SENSITIVE?
74
00:02:51,471 --> 00:02:53,640
ESPECIALLY IF YOU
SLEEP ON THEM WRONG.
75
00:02:56,709 --> 00:02:58,745
LOOK, ALL I KNOW IS,
ANGIE'S THE FIRST GIRL
76
00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:01,181
I'VE BEEN EXCITED ABOUT
SINCE TINA.
77
00:03:01,281 --> 00:03:03,516
IF I LEARNED ANYTHING
FROM MY FIRST MARRIAGE,
78
00:03:03,616 --> 00:03:05,518
IT'S THAT I NEED TO BE
MORE ACCOMMODATING.
79
00:03:05,618 --> 00:03:07,187
YEAH, I DON'T KNOW.
A THIRD-DATE CIRCUMCISION?
80
00:03:07,287 --> 00:03:08,988
I MEAN, I DIDN'T EVEN
BUY JOY FLOWERS
81
00:03:09,088 --> 00:03:10,423
UNTIL OUR FIFTH DATE,
82
00:03:10,523 --> 00:03:12,325
AND THAT WAS TO THANK HER
FOR OUR FOURTH DATE.
83
00:03:12,425 --> 00:03:13,359
HA HA.
84
00:03:13,459 --> 00:03:15,762
I WAS SO DRUNK.
85
00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:19,699
HOW IS IT THAT I AM
46 YEARS OLD
86
00:03:19,799 --> 00:03:24,470
AND I AM DISCOVERING
CINNAMON FLOSS
FOR THE FIRST TIME?
87
00:03:24,571 --> 00:03:28,341
IT'S LIKE CLEANING
YOUR TEETH WITH
A CANDY CANE.
88
00:03:28,441 --> 00:03:29,375
HA HA.
89
00:03:29,475 --> 00:03:31,711
AH...
90
00:03:32,579 --> 00:03:33,546
HEY.
91
00:03:33,646 --> 00:03:36,449
IT'S 10:45, HONEY.
LIGHTS OUT.
92
00:03:37,183 --> 00:03:38,651
I WAS READING.
93
00:03:38,751 --> 00:03:40,853
BABE, IT'S
A NEWSPAPER.
94
00:03:40,954 --> 00:03:45,258
READ IT ON THE CAN
LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.
95
00:03:45,358 --> 00:03:46,626
YOU KNOW WHAT?
96
00:03:46,726 --> 00:03:48,895
YOU ARE THE MOST
INCONSIDERATE,
97
00:03:48,995 --> 00:03:52,098
SELF-CENTERED JACKASS
IN THE HISTORY OF...
98
00:03:52,198 --> 00:03:53,633
JACKASSERY.
99
00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:57,036
LOVE YOU, TOO.
GOOD NIGHT.
100
00:03:57,136 --> 00:03:59,272
I'M SERIOUS, EDDIE.
101
00:03:59,372 --> 00:04:01,574
IS THIS ABOUT
THE PEPPERONI THING?
102
00:04:01,674 --> 00:04:04,510
YES, IT IS ABOUT
THE PEPPERONI THING!
103
00:04:04,611 --> 00:04:06,479
IT'S ABOUT THE LIGHTS!
IT'S ABOUT THE FACT
104
00:04:06,579 --> 00:04:08,114
THAT EVERYTHING
IN THIS MARRIAGE
105
00:04:08,214 --> 00:04:10,083
IS GEARED TOWARDS
WHAT YOU WANT
106
00:04:10,183 --> 00:04:13,920
AND I AM JUST ALONG
FOR THE RIDE.
107
00:04:14,020 --> 00:04:15,588
SOUNDS LIKE SOMEBODY
NEEDS A HUG.
108
00:04:15,688 --> 00:04:17,056
GET--
109
00:04:19,058 --> 00:04:21,094
YOU KNOW WHAT? I WANT YOU
TO NAME ONE THING
110
00:04:21,194 --> 00:04:22,562
THAT YOU DO FOR ME.
111
00:04:22,662 --> 00:04:23,830
HUP. HOW ABOUT THE TIME
112
00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:26,566
I TOOK YOU TO
THE BOTANICAL GARDENS?
113
00:04:26,666 --> 00:04:28,835
THAT WAS 11 YEARS AGO,
114
00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:30,236
AND THE ONLY REASON
WE STOPPED
115
00:04:30,336 --> 00:04:32,071
IS BECAUSE YOU
HAD TO USE THE BATHROOM.
116
00:04:32,171 --> 00:04:36,309
WHICH GAVE YOU A GOOD
45 MINUTES TO WALK AROUND.
117
00:04:37,477 --> 00:04:40,046
YOU ARE
QUITE A CATCH.
118
00:04:40,146 --> 00:04:43,182
JOY, I'M A MAN.
THIS IS WHAT MEN DO.
119
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,450
THIS IS NOT
WHAT MEN DO.
120
00:04:44,550 --> 00:04:46,286
THERE WAS A MAN
IN OUR KITCHEN
121
00:04:46,386 --> 00:04:47,954
LESS THAN AN HOUR AGO
WHO WAS WILLING
122
00:04:48,054 --> 00:04:50,490
TO GET CIRCUMCISED
FOR THE MERE
PROMISE OF LOVE.
123
00:04:50,590 --> 00:04:52,025
WELL, IF THAT'S WHAT THIS
IS ABOUT, PROBLEM SOLVED.
124
00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:54,160
I MEAN, I KNOW IT'S BEEN
A WHILE SINCE YOU'VE SEEN IT,
125
00:04:54,260 --> 00:04:59,532
BUT I GOT TO TELL YOU,
I'M CUTE AS A BUTTON DOWN THERE.
126
00:04:59,632 --> 00:05:03,069
WE GET IT.
YOU LOVE YOU.
127
00:05:03,169 --> 00:05:04,504
I AM ALWAYS
DOING THINGS FOR YOU,
128
00:05:04,604 --> 00:05:06,406
AND YOU ARE NEVER
DOING ANYTHING FOR ME.
129
00:05:06,506 --> 00:05:07,607
ALL RIGHT,
HONEY, LOOK.
130
00:05:07,707 --> 00:05:09,309
YOU WANT ME TO DO
SOMETHING FOR YOU?
131
00:05:09,409 --> 00:05:10,843
I WILL DO
SOMETHING FOR YOU.
132
00:05:10,943 --> 00:05:12,178
YOU JUST NAME IT.
133
00:05:12,278 --> 00:05:13,346
WHATEVER YOUR LITTLE
GIRLIE HEART DESIRES.
134
00:05:13,446 --> 00:05:14,714
I WOULD LIKE TO GET
SEASON TICKETS
135
00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:17,684
TO "SHOW TUNES ON THE GREEN
AT FAIRMOUNT PARK."
136
00:05:17,784 --> 00:05:19,018
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
137
00:05:19,118 --> 00:05:21,454
IT'S NOT LIKE YOU
CAUGHT ME WITH A HOOKER.
138
00:05:22,689 --> 00:05:26,326
THIS IS WHAT WE ARE DOING
FOR THE NEXT 6 FRIDAYS--
139
00:05:26,426 --> 00:05:27,393
6? 6 FRIDAYS?
140
00:05:27,493 --> 00:05:28,461
6 FRIDAYS, YEAH.
141
00:05:28,561 --> 00:05:30,496
BEFORE THE SHOW,
THERE'S A PICNIC.
142
00:05:30,596 --> 00:05:33,032
A PICNIC? I CAN'T
FEEL MY LEGS.
143
00:05:33,132 --> 00:05:36,069
AFTER WHICH, WE WILL SIT
ON A BLANKET ON THE LAWN
144
00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:37,870
AT FAIRMOUNT PARK
AND ENJOY
145
00:05:37,970 --> 00:05:40,106
ALAN THICKE
IN "THE BEST OF BROADWAY."
146
00:05:40,206 --> 00:05:42,275
SO YOU'RE TELLING ME
JUST BECAUSE KENNY
147
00:05:42,375 --> 00:05:44,010
IS GOING TO...
PIMP HIS RIDE,
148
00:05:44,110 --> 00:05:45,411
I HAVE TO NOW
GO WATCH
149
00:05:45,511 --> 00:05:47,013
"GROWING PAINS,
THE MUSICAL"?
150
00:05:47,113 --> 00:05:48,514
IS THAT WHAT
YOU'RE SAYING?
151
00:05:48,614 --> 00:05:50,183
THAT IS EXACTLY
WHAT I'M SAYING.
152
00:05:50,283 --> 00:05:52,085
WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?
IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN
153
00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:54,487
BECAUSE KENNY IS NOT
GOING TO GO THROUGH
WITH THIS. TRUST ME.
154
00:05:54,587 --> 00:05:55,521
YOU DON'T THINK SO?
155
00:05:55,621 --> 00:05:56,489
NO, I DON'T.
156
00:05:56,589 --> 00:05:58,091
OK. OH, HERE.
I HAVE AN IDEA.
157
00:05:58,191 --> 00:05:59,659
IF HE DOES
GO THROUGH WITH IT,
158
00:05:59,759 --> 00:06:01,227
WE WILL SPEND
THE BETTER PART
159
00:06:01,327 --> 00:06:03,129
OF THE FALL
SITTING ON A BLANKET
160
00:06:03,229 --> 00:06:04,764
AT FAIRMOUNT PARK
LISTENING TO SHOW TUNES,
161
00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:08,234
AND IF HE DOESN'T,
I WILL RIP UP THE TICKETS.
162
00:06:08,334 --> 00:06:09,669
OK. YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU GOT A DEAL.
163
00:06:09,769 --> 00:06:11,170
AND WE'RE GOING TO
SHAKE ON IT.
164
00:06:11,270 --> 00:06:12,872
ALL RIGHT.
YEAH, GO AHEAD. HUH?
165
00:06:12,972 --> 00:06:16,476
YOU KNOW WHAT?
WE'VE NEVER SHAKEN
HANDS IN BED BEFORE.
166
00:06:16,576 --> 00:06:17,977
IT'S KIND OF HOT.
167
00:06:18,077 --> 00:06:20,413
IT'S LIKE YOU'RE
A SUCCESSFUL
BUSINESSWOMAN,
168
00:06:20,513 --> 00:06:24,817
AND I'M A TITAN
OF INDUSTRY.
169
00:06:24,917 --> 00:06:28,020
YEAH, IT IS
KIND OF HOT.
170
00:06:28,121 --> 00:06:29,856
GOOD NIGHT.
171
00:06:34,861 --> 00:06:37,797
YOU CAN'T DO IT.
YOU CAN'T GET CIRCUMCISED.
172
00:06:39,365 --> 00:06:41,801
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE NOT
TAKEN CARE OF DOWN THERE.
173
00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:43,169
THAT'S DISGUSTING.
174
00:06:43,269 --> 00:06:45,905
YEAH, MAN.
I SAW A GUY
AT THE GYM ONCE.
175
00:06:46,005 --> 00:06:47,640
I ALMOST
PASSED OUT.
176
00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:50,877
LEAVE KENNY ALONE.
IT'S NOT THAT GROSS.
177
00:06:50,977 --> 00:06:52,745
WHY ARE YOU GETTING
ALL DEFENSIVE?
178
00:06:52,845 --> 00:06:54,580
WE'RE JUST
TRYING TO...
179
00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:57,083
OH, MAN!
OH, MAN!
180
00:06:57,183 --> 00:07:01,354
THAT'S RIGHT.
AND THE WOMEN LOVE IT.
181
00:07:01,454 --> 00:07:02,455
WHAT WOMEN?
182
00:07:02,555 --> 00:07:03,556
YOUR MAMA.
183
00:07:03,656 --> 00:07:05,057
HOO HOO!
184
00:07:05,158 --> 00:07:07,226
OK. SO BOTTOM LINE,
THIS IS A TERRIBLE IDEA.
185
00:07:07,326 --> 00:07:09,562
IT'S DECIDED.
YOU'RE NOT GONNA DO IT.
186
00:07:09,662 --> 00:07:11,964
OH, I'M DOING IT, MAN.
IT'S GOING TO BE
187
00:07:12,064 --> 00:07:13,166
A WHOLE NEW WORLD
FOR ME.
188
00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:14,400
I'M GOING
TO NUDE BEACHES,
189
00:07:14,500 --> 00:07:16,035
MAKING LOVE
WITH THE LIGHTS ON.
190
00:07:16,135 --> 00:07:19,972
I'M GONNA GET ME
A PAIR OF JEANS
WITH A ZIPPER.
191
00:07:20,072 --> 00:07:23,075
EXCUSE ME.
I'M LEAVING 2 DUMPLINGS.
192
00:07:23,176 --> 00:07:25,845
I EXPECT TO COME BACK
TO 2 DUMPLINGS.
193
00:07:27,547 --> 00:07:28,714
EXCUSE ME.
194
00:07:28,815 --> 00:07:29,849
I DON'T WORK HERE,
195
00:07:29,949 --> 00:07:31,217
BUT THE BATHROOM'S
OVER THERE,
196
00:07:31,317 --> 00:07:33,052
AND THE GREEN TEA
COMES AFTER THE MEAL.
197
00:07:33,152 --> 00:07:34,253
NO, NO, NO.
YOU WERE MY DOCTOR.
198
00:07:34,353 --> 00:07:36,689
I'M EDDIE STARK.
YOU DID MY VASECTOMY.
199
00:07:36,789 --> 00:07:39,392
OH, CRAP. IS YOUR WIFE
PREGNANT, TOO?
200
00:07:39,492 --> 00:07:41,227
NO. LISTEN, THAT
ISN'T WHY I'M HERE.
201
00:07:41,327 --> 00:07:43,129
DO YOU DO ADULT
CIRCUMCISIONS?
202
00:07:43,229 --> 00:07:44,564
YOU'RE ALREADY
CIRCUMCISED.
203
00:07:44,664 --> 00:07:45,798
HOW DO YOU
REMEMBER THAT?
204
00:07:45,898 --> 00:07:47,467
I'M NOT GOOD WITH
NAMES OR FACES,
205
00:07:47,567 --> 00:07:48,568
BUT I NEVER FORGET--
206
00:07:48,668 --> 00:07:50,369
DUT, DUT, DUT.
OK, LISTEN. I NEED YOU
207
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,038
TO GO BACK OVER THERE
AND TELL MY FRIEND
208
00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:53,272
NOT TO GET ONE.
209
00:07:53,372 --> 00:07:55,541
OR I COULD EAT MY SHRIMP
THAT'S READY.
210
00:07:55,641 --> 00:07:57,009
OK. LISTEN, PLEASE.
THIS IS THE THING.
211
00:07:57,109 --> 00:07:58,277
I KNOW IT SOUNDS WEIRD,
212
00:07:58,377 --> 00:08:00,379
BUT MY FRIEND WANTS TO GET
THIS PROCEDURE DONE
213
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,148
FOR A GIRL
THAT HE BARELY KNOWS.
214
00:08:02,248 --> 00:08:03,649
WHEN MY WIFE
HEARD ABOUT THIS,
215
00:08:03,749 --> 00:08:05,451
SHE REALIZED
HOW INSENSITIVE I AM.
216
00:08:05,551 --> 00:08:07,019
IF HE GOES AHEAD
WITH THIS,
217
00:08:07,119 --> 00:08:09,589
I'M LOOKING AT
A MONTH AND A HALF
218
00:08:09,689 --> 00:08:11,924
OF MUSICALS IN THE PARK.
219
00:08:12,024 --> 00:08:14,393
I GET THAT.
220
00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:15,461
OH, HEY,
EXCUSE ME.
221
00:08:15,561 --> 00:08:16,863
PAST THE BAR
TO THE LEFT.
222
00:08:16,963 --> 00:08:17,930
THANKS.
223
00:08:18,030 --> 00:08:22,268
NO, I DON'T HAVE TO
SIT DOWN TO PEE!
224
00:08:22,368 --> 00:08:27,173
IT JUST LOOKS
DIFFERENT.
225
00:08:27,273 --> 00:08:29,909
ALL RIGHTIE.
THIS IS DR. PARK,
226
00:08:30,009 --> 00:08:31,210
AND THIS IS
MY BUDDY KENNY
227
00:08:31,310 --> 00:08:32,845
THAT I WAS
TELLING YOU ABOUT.
228
00:08:32,945 --> 00:08:34,981
I UNDERSTAND YOU'RE THINKING
OF HAVING AN ADULT CIRCUMCISION.
229
00:08:35,081 --> 00:08:36,449
THAT'S A PRETTY TRICKY
PROCEDURE.
230
00:08:36,549 --> 00:08:37,917
WHAT DOCTOR
ARE YOU GOING TO?
231
00:08:38,017 --> 00:08:39,018
I DON'T HAVE ONE YET.
232
00:08:39,118 --> 00:08:40,052
FIT YOU IN TUESDAY.
WHAT?
233
00:08:40,152 --> 00:08:41,354
10 A.M.?
HOW ABOUT MONDAY?
234
00:08:41,454 --> 00:08:42,922
WAIT.
I COULD DO NOON.
235
00:08:43,022 --> 00:08:45,691
AWESOME.
GREAT.
236
00:09:01,173 --> 00:09:02,275
EXCUSE ME, RABBI.
237
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:05,211
HAS THE BABY BEEN
CIRCUMCISED YET?
238
00:09:05,311 --> 00:09:06,979
NO.
239
00:09:07,079 --> 00:09:08,514
GOOD, BECAUSE
MY FRIEND IS RUNNING
A LITTLE LATE,
240
00:09:08,614 --> 00:09:10,316
AND I REALLY WANT
HIM TO SEE THIS.
241
00:09:10,416 --> 00:09:11,984
I'M SORRY.
I DON'T RECOGNIZE YOU.
242
00:09:12,084 --> 00:09:13,753
YOU'RE FRIENDS WITH...
243
00:09:13,853 --> 00:09:15,354
THE BABY.
244
00:09:15,454 --> 00:09:16,923
ZEV. THE ZEVSTER.
245
00:09:17,023 --> 00:09:18,691
YEAH, WE GO
WAY BACK.
246
00:09:18,791 --> 00:09:21,761
SO LISTEN, I'M GOING
TO NEED YOU TO STALL
THE...PSST-PSST.
247
00:09:21,861 --> 00:09:23,296
YOU KNOW.
IF YOU COULD,
248
00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:25,097
THAT WOULD BE
GOD-TASTIC.
249
00:09:25,197 --> 00:09:26,566
I CAN'T DO THAT.
250
00:09:26,666 --> 00:09:28,668
OK. ALL RIGHT. I HEAR YOU.
I HEAR YOU. SAY NO MORE.
251
00:09:28,768 --> 00:09:30,036
SIR, THIS ISN'T
A NIGHTCLUB.
252
00:09:30,136 --> 00:09:32,872
I'M NOT GOING TO
DELAY THE SERVICE FOR--
253
00:09:32,972 --> 00:09:36,375
TWO DOLLARS?
254
00:09:36,475 --> 00:09:38,144
ALL RIGHT, LISTEN.
HERE'S THE THING.
255
00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:40,913
MY FRIEND WANTS TO GET
CIRCUMCISED FOR THIS GIRL.
256
00:09:41,013 --> 00:09:42,648
NOW, WHEN MY WIFE
HEARD ABOUT IT,
257
00:09:42,748 --> 00:09:43,950
SHE REALIZED
THAT I'M A--
258
00:09:44,050 --> 00:09:45,217
SCHMUCK?
259
00:09:45,318 --> 00:09:46,986
BINGO. SO IF HE
GOES THROUGH WITH IT,
260
00:09:47,086 --> 00:09:51,757
I HAVE TO GO SEE
6 MUSICALS IN THE PARK.
261
00:09:52,625 --> 00:09:55,194
I GET THAT.
262
00:09:56,162 --> 00:09:57,363
I ONCE BROKE
MY OWN ARM
263
00:09:57,463 --> 00:10:01,133
SO I DIDN'T HAVE TO GO
SEE JOSH GROBAN.
264
00:10:01,233 --> 00:10:04,003
BLESS YOU.
265
00:10:04,103 --> 00:10:06,172
HEY, EDDIE, WHAT ARE WE
DOING IN THE TEMPLE?
266
00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:08,741
I TOLD YOU ONCE, MAN--
MY MOM RAISED ME BAPTIST.
267
00:10:08,841 --> 00:10:10,009
I'M GONNA STAY BAPTIST.
268
00:10:10,109 --> 00:10:12,044
RELAX. I WANT YOU
TO SEE SOMETHING.
269
00:10:12,144 --> 00:10:13,279
IT'S CALLED
A BRIS.
270
00:10:13,379 --> 00:10:14,680
NOW PUT THIS ON
AND COME WITH ME.
271
00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:16,582
AREN'T I GOING TO GET
FUNNY LOOKS IF I WEAR THIS?
272
00:10:16,682 --> 00:10:20,052
YOU'RE GOING TO GET
FUNNY LOOKS EITHER WAY.
273
00:10:22,421 --> 00:10:23,856
SHALOM.
274
00:10:23,956 --> 00:10:26,425
WHAT UP, FOOL?
275
00:10:27,860 --> 00:10:29,095
MAZEL-TOV.
276
00:10:29,195 --> 00:10:30,162
WHAT'S POPPING?
277
00:10:30,262 --> 00:10:33,866
OK. ALL RIGHT.
GO AND SIT DOWN.
278
00:10:37,069 --> 00:10:39,538
HEY, BRO, YOU DIDN'T
SEE ME HERE.
279
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:42,174
I DIDN'T SEE
YOU HERE.
280
00:10:42,274 --> 00:10:45,745
AND NOW WE WELCOME
ZEV MORDECHAI SPIEGELMAN
281
00:10:45,845 --> 00:10:47,279
TO JOIN
THE COVENANT WITH GOD
282
00:10:47,380 --> 00:10:51,050
AS JEWISH SONS HAVE DONE
SINCE THE TIME OF ABRAHAM.
283
00:10:51,150 --> 00:10:52,318
WE ARE BLESSED HERE TODAY
284
00:10:52,418 --> 00:10:54,387
TO HAVE 3 GENERATIONS
OF SPIEGELMANS
285
00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:56,789
TO SHARE IN THIS
MOST HOLY TRADITION.
286
00:10:56,889 --> 00:11:02,828
AND AS WE PASS ZEV FROM FATHER
TO SON TO GRANDFATHER,
287
00:11:02,928 --> 00:11:05,364
WE CELEBRATE
GOD'S ETERNAL COMMITMENT
288
00:11:05,464 --> 00:11:07,667
TO THE CHILDREN
OF ISRAEL.
289
00:11:07,767 --> 00:11:10,136
THIS IS BEAUTIFUL.
290
00:11:13,039 --> 00:11:17,376
FATHER-SON STUFF
GETS ME EVERY TIME.
291
00:11:17,476 --> 00:11:19,278
YEAH, IT'S VERY TOUCHING.
JUST BUCKLE UP
292
00:11:19,378 --> 00:11:24,083
AND KEEP YOUR EYES
ON LITTLE ZEV'S SCHMECKLE.
293
00:11:24,183 --> 00:11:25,618
MAY ALL WHO PRAY
HERE TODAY
294
00:11:25,718 --> 00:11:27,620
BE WITNESS TO HIS INFINITE
DIVINE GRACE.
295
00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:30,890
[SPEAKING YIDDISH]
AND WE ALL SAY OMEYN.
296
00:11:30,990 --> 00:11:32,058
OMEYN.
OMEYN.
OMEYN.
297
00:11:32,158 --> 00:11:34,694
HALLELUJAH!
PRAISE JESUS!
298
00:11:36,162 --> 00:11:39,365
I'LL TELL HIM LATER.
299
00:11:39,465 --> 00:11:41,167
THIS IS THE MOST
BEAUTIFUL THING
300
00:11:41,267 --> 00:11:43,502
I'VE EVER BEEN
A PART OF.
301
00:11:43,602 --> 00:11:46,005
I WANT TO GO NEXT.
302
00:11:46,105 --> 00:11:47,073
WHAT?
303
00:11:47,173 --> 00:11:48,040
AND NOW...
304
00:11:48,140 --> 00:11:51,210
FOR THE BIG MOMENT.
305
00:11:59,151 --> 00:12:01,887
OH, HELL, NO!
306
00:12:07,059 --> 00:12:09,195
WAY TO SELL IT, ZEV.
307
00:12:15,034 --> 00:12:18,671
♪ MATCHMAKER, MATCHMAKER,
MAKE ME A MATCH ♪
308
00:12:18,771 --> 00:12:21,841
♪ FIND ME A FIND,
CATCH ME A CATCH ♪
309
00:12:21,941 --> 00:12:25,211
♪ MATCHMAKER, MATCHMAKER,
LOOK IN YOUR BOOK ♪
310
00:12:25,311 --> 00:12:29,081
♪ AND FIND ME
A PERFECT MATCH ♪
311
00:12:29,181 --> 00:12:32,218
♪ OH, MAMA,
SEND ME A SCHOLAR ♪
312
00:12:32,318 --> 00:12:35,554
♪ FOR PAPA,
MAKE HIM RICH AS A KING ♪
313
00:12:35,654 --> 00:12:39,058
♪ FOR ME, WELL,
I WOULDN'T HOLLER ♪
314
00:12:39,158 --> 00:12:43,295
♪ IF HE WERE AS HANDSOME
AS ANYTHING ♪
315
00:12:43,395 --> 00:12:45,931
WE'RE NOT GOING.
316
00:12:46,031 --> 00:12:47,500
WHY NOT?
317
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:49,602
THE PICNIC IS OFF BECAUSE
THERE'S NO CIRCUMCISION.
318
00:12:49,702 --> 00:12:53,973
THAT'S RIGHT, NOBODY'S DOING
NOTHING NICE FOR NOBODY.
319
00:12:54,073 --> 00:12:55,775
WHAT DID YOU DO?
320
00:12:55,875 --> 00:12:58,410
WHY ARE YOU WEARING
A YARMULKE?
321
00:12:58,511 --> 00:12:59,411
HUH?
322
00:12:59,512 --> 00:13:01,781
I...HELLO. I AM
WEARING A YARMULKE
323
00:13:01,881 --> 00:13:05,651
BECAUSE IT IS ROSH HALLIS
HALLEL BAGEL DAY.
324
00:13:05,751 --> 00:13:07,019
THAT'S RIGHT. THAT'S RIGHT.
325
00:13:07,119 --> 00:13:12,191
IT'S JEWISH HALLOWEEN, JOY.
IT'S REAL. LOOK IT UP.
326
00:13:12,291 --> 00:13:14,560
"THE SPIEGELMAN BRIS."
327
00:13:14,660 --> 00:13:16,962
YOU TOOK HIM TO A BRIS?
328
00:13:17,062 --> 00:13:18,430
I--
329
00:13:18,531 --> 00:13:19,899
OOH, YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN
WHAT THEY DID TO LITTLE ZEV.
330
00:13:19,999 --> 00:13:22,835
HE WAS JUST A BABY!
331
00:13:22,935 --> 00:13:25,271
HOW COULD YOU
STOOP SO LOW?
332
00:13:25,371 --> 00:13:27,706
I DIDN'T STOOP, JOY.
IN MY TIME OF NEED,
333
00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:29,809
I TURNED TO GOD,
AND GOD DELIVERED,
334
00:13:29,909 --> 00:13:31,410
BECAUSE, AS LUCK
WOULD HAVE IT,
335
00:13:31,510 --> 00:13:34,180
HE HATES
MUSICALS, TOO.
336
00:13:46,959 --> 00:13:48,694
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
337
00:13:48,794 --> 00:13:50,162
COME IN.
338
00:13:51,263 --> 00:13:52,464
HEY, THERE.
339
00:13:52,565 --> 00:13:53,566
HEY, TINA.
340
00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:55,701
JUST HERE TO DROP OFF
MY LITTLE BABY.
341
00:13:55,801 --> 00:13:56,702
GREAT.
342
00:13:56,802 --> 00:13:58,637
THERE YOU GO.
343
00:13:58,737 --> 00:13:59,738
OH, I'M SORRY.
344
00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:02,508
DID I INTERRUPT
YOUR BUFFET FOR 8?
345
00:14:02,608 --> 00:14:03,709
YOU WANT SOME?
346
00:14:03,809 --> 00:14:06,178
OH, NO. MY DIET ALLOWS
1,400 CALORIES A DAY.
347
00:14:06,278 --> 00:14:09,148
AND THANKS TO BREAKFAST
AND MY CAR SNACK,
348
00:14:09,248 --> 00:14:12,618
I'M ON GUM AND WATER
TILL SUNDAY.
349
00:14:12,718 --> 00:14:14,220
LISTEN, THIS WASN'T
ALL FOR ME.
350
00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:15,654
EDDIE AND I WERE
SUPPOSED TO GO
351
00:14:15,754 --> 00:14:17,423
TO THIS BROADWAY
SHOW PICNIC THING,
352
00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:19,825
AND THEN YOUR
EX-HUSBAND CANCELLED
HIS CIRCUMCISION,
353
00:14:19,925 --> 00:14:21,126
AND BANG, IT'S OFF.
354
00:14:21,227 --> 00:14:25,130
I'M SORRY? MY EX-HUSBAND
IS GETTING CIRCUMCISED?
355
00:14:25,231 --> 00:14:27,466
HE'S GETTING KIND OF
SERIOUS WITH THIS GIRL,
356
00:14:27,566 --> 00:14:29,168
AND SHE ASKED HIM
TO GET CIRCUMCISED.
357
00:14:29,268 --> 00:14:30,903
KENNY IS SEEING SOMEONE?
358
00:14:31,003 --> 00:14:33,639
YEAH. OH, SORRY.
I DIDN'T THINK
THAT YOU'D CARE.
359
00:14:33,739 --> 00:14:35,040
OH, NO, I DON'T CARE.
360
00:14:35,140 --> 00:14:37,343
IT'S JUST THAT I'VE BEEN
ASKING HIM FOR YEARS
361
00:14:37,443 --> 00:14:39,778
TO TAKE HIS JUNK
TO THE TAILOR.
362
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:43,949
WELL, DON'T WORRY.
HE'S NOT DOING IT
FOR HER EITHER.
363
00:14:44,049 --> 00:14:44,984
HE CHICKENED OUT.
364
00:14:45,084 --> 00:14:47,186
HMM. WELL,
THAT'S TOO BAD,
365
00:14:47,286 --> 00:14:50,089
BECAUSE THAT AND
SOMETHING IN HIS WALLET
366
00:14:50,189 --> 00:14:51,490
BESIDES STAMPS
AND CONDOMS
367
00:14:51,590 --> 00:14:55,127
MIGHT GET HIM
A SECOND CHANCE AT THIS.
368
00:14:55,227 --> 00:14:56,762
REALLY?
369
00:14:56,862 --> 00:14:57,830
INTERESTING.
370
00:14:57,930 --> 00:15:02,201
NICE CHATTING
WITH YOU.
371
00:15:02,301 --> 00:15:04,603
OH, KENNY.
372
00:15:05,471 --> 00:15:06,472
HEY.
373
00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:07,773
WHAT'S UP, JOY?
374
00:15:07,873 --> 00:15:09,108
WELL, DON'T TELL ANYONE
I TOLD YOU THIS,
375
00:15:09,208 --> 00:15:10,476
ESPECIALLY NOT EDDIE,
376
00:15:10,576 --> 00:15:13,345
BUT IF YOU GET YOUR
LITTLE PROCEDURE DONE,
377
00:15:13,445 --> 00:15:16,949
THERE IS A CERTAIN LADY
WHO MIGHT BE INTERESTED
378
00:15:17,049 --> 00:15:19,885
IN GETTING WITH YOU
SEXUALLY.
379
00:15:19,985 --> 00:15:25,824
I'M REALLY FLATTERED, JOY.
I REALLY AM.
380
00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:27,660
YOU'RE A FANTASTIC LADY.
381
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:30,396
NO, NOT ME. TINA.
382
00:15:30,496 --> 00:15:32,298
I REALLY THINK
THAT TINA WOULD
383
00:15:32,398 --> 00:15:34,800
GIVE YOU ANOTHER SHOT
IF YOU DID THIS THING.
384
00:15:34,900 --> 00:15:37,536
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
SHE HATES ME WITH A PASSION.
385
00:15:37,636 --> 00:15:39,171
AND THERE. THERE IS
THE KEY WORD--
386
00:15:39,271 --> 00:15:40,973
PASSION,
387
00:15:41,073 --> 00:15:43,475
BECAUSE IF A WOMAN
HATES A MAN THAT MUCH,
388
00:15:43,575 --> 00:15:44,910
THERE IS A LOVE
UNDERNEATH.
389
00:15:45,010 --> 00:15:46,979
IS THAT HOW IT IS
WITH YOU AND EDDIE?
390
00:15:47,079 --> 00:15:49,815
SURE. WHY NOT?
391
00:15:49,915 --> 00:15:51,750
LET ME BOTTOM-LINE
THIS FOR YOU.
392
00:15:51,850 --> 00:15:53,919
YOU GET CIRCUMCISED,
YOU GET TINA.
393
00:15:54,019 --> 00:15:55,921
I HEARD THAT.
I HEARD THAT.
394
00:15:56,021 --> 00:15:58,223
HEY, PIPE DOWN.
HE'S DOING THIS.
395
00:15:58,324 --> 00:15:59,725
TINA WANTS HIM
THAT WAY.
396
00:15:59,825 --> 00:16:02,328
OH, YOU WENT
TO THE EX-WIFE.
OH, THAT IS LOW.
397
00:16:02,428 --> 00:16:03,462
YOU TOOK HIM
TO A BRIS.
398
00:16:03,562 --> 00:16:05,164
YEAH, YOU'RE
DARN RIGHT I DID,
399
00:16:05,264 --> 00:16:06,332
AND IT SCARED HIM
TO DEATH.
400
00:16:06,432 --> 00:16:07,800
WELL, HE'S NOT
SCARED ANYMORE.
401
00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:09,535
WELL, HE SHOULD BE.
LISTEN TO ME.
402
00:16:09,635 --> 00:16:10,970
YOU WANT TO END UP
LIKE LITTLE ZEV,
403
00:16:11,070 --> 00:16:13,605
SWADDLED IN A BLANKET,
SCREAMING AT YOUR NANA'S BOSOM
404
00:16:13,706 --> 00:16:15,674
AS PEOPLE ARE STANDING
AROUND YOU LAUGHING
405
00:16:15,774 --> 00:16:17,076
AND EATING KUGEL?
406
00:16:17,176 --> 00:16:18,444
KENNY, DON'T
LISTEN TO HIM.
407
00:16:18,544 --> 00:16:20,512
HE DOESN'T
CARE ABOUT YOU.
408
00:16:20,612 --> 00:16:21,714
HE IS JUST
USING YOU
409
00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:23,349
TO GET OUT OF TAKING
ME TO MUSICALS.
410
00:16:23,449 --> 00:16:25,284
YEAH? WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?
SHE IS DOING THE SAME THING.
411
00:16:25,384 --> 00:16:28,053
SHE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT
YOU AND TINA. SHE DOESN'T.
412
00:16:28,153 --> 00:16:31,290
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS...
413
00:16:31,390 --> 00:16:34,760
WE HAD A DEAL THAT IF YOU
DIDN'T GET CIRCUMCISED,
414
00:16:34,860 --> 00:16:37,129
I DON'T HAVE TO
TAKE HER TO MUSICALS.
415
00:16:37,229 --> 00:16:39,098
YOU GUYS SHOULD BE
ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES,
416
00:16:39,198 --> 00:16:41,834
USING ME TO SETTLE
YOUR MARITAL SQUABBLES.
417
00:16:41,934 --> 00:16:43,936
I'M NOT GONNA
DO THIS FOR YOU,
418
00:16:44,036 --> 00:16:45,637
AND I'M NOT GONNA
NOT DO IT FOR YOU,
419
00:16:45,738 --> 00:16:48,607
AND I'M CERTAINLY NOT GONNA
DO IT FOR MY EX-WIFE.
420
00:16:48,707 --> 00:16:49,842
I'M DOING
THIS THING FOR ME
421
00:16:49,942 --> 00:16:51,744
AND A SWEET LITTLE GIRL
NAMED ANGIE
422
00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:53,746
WHO LOVES ME
FOR WHO I AM.
423
00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:57,916
WELL, 99% OF WHO I AM.
424
00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:00,953
WHAT'S UP, ANGIE?
I JUST CALLED TO LET YOU KNOW
425
00:17:01,053 --> 00:17:02,654
THAT MONDAY MORNING,
I'M GOING TO HAVE
426
00:17:02,755 --> 00:17:05,991
A CERTAIN PART OF ME REMOVED
PER YOUR REQUEST.
427
00:17:06,091 --> 00:17:09,094
WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?
428
00:17:09,194 --> 00:17:10,829
UH-HUH.
429
00:17:10,929 --> 00:17:12,831
MM-HMM.
430
00:17:12,931 --> 00:17:15,100
UH-HUH.
431
00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:19,071
OK. GOOD-BYE.
432
00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:21,707
WHEW.
433
00:17:21,807 --> 00:17:23,275
WHAT HAPPENED?
434
00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:25,477
HA. SHE DUMPED ME.
435
00:17:25,577 --> 00:17:28,947
TURNS OUT IT WASN'T
ABOUT LITTLE KENNY.
436
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:32,484
SHE JUST
DIDN'T LIKE ME.
437
00:17:32,584 --> 00:17:33,819
SO LET ME GET
THIS STRAIGHT.
438
00:17:33,919 --> 00:17:35,988
YOU JUST GOT THE
"IT'S NOT YOUR PENIS,
439
00:17:36,088 --> 00:17:38,057
IT'S YOU" SPEECH?
440
00:17:39,591 --> 00:17:40,893
WE'RE SORRY,
KENNY.
441
00:17:40,993 --> 00:17:44,496
YEAH. WE...WE TOOK SOMETHING
THAT WAS PERSONAL TO YOU,
442
00:17:44,596 --> 00:17:47,099
AND WE USED IT
FOR OUR BENEFIT.
443
00:17:47,199 --> 00:17:48,801
AND THAT
WAS NOT RIGHT.
444
00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:51,170
IT WAS TOTALLY WRONG.
445
00:17:51,270 --> 00:17:54,807
THANKS, GUYS.
I APPRECIATE THAT.
446
00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:59,311
SO...
447
00:17:59,411 --> 00:18:04,650
AM I GOING TO HAVE TO
GO TO A MUSICAL?
448
00:18:06,285 --> 00:18:07,820
YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU TAKE YOUR TIME.
449
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:13,725
THAT IS A BIG DECISION FOR...
ONLY YOU CAN DECIDE.
450
00:18:13,826 --> 00:18:15,094
BUT IF WE'RE GONNA
MAKE THE CURTAIN,
451
00:18:15,194 --> 00:18:17,329
WE GOT TO LEAVE IN,
LIKE, 10 MINUTES.
452
00:18:17,429 --> 00:18:20,399
WE SHOULD KNOW SOON.
453
00:18:25,170 --> 00:18:27,506
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE
MAKING ME GO TO THIS.
454
00:18:27,606 --> 00:18:28,941
HEY, YOU'RE THE REASON
WHY I'M HERE.
455
00:18:29,041 --> 00:18:30,776
YOU'RE GOING TO SUFFER
RIGHT ALONG WITH ME.
456
00:18:30,876 --> 00:18:32,111
AND LET ME
TELL YOU SOMETHING.
457
00:18:32,211 --> 00:18:33,579
THIS IS GOING TO HURT
ONLY SLIGHTLY LESS
458
00:18:33,679 --> 00:18:35,080
THAN WHAT YOU'RE
HAVING DONE MONDAY.
459
00:18:35,180 --> 00:18:36,482
THERE IS NO PLACE
TO SIT.
460
00:18:36,582 --> 00:18:38,417
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE RIGHT.
THIS IS CRAZY. LET'S GO.
461
00:18:38,517 --> 00:18:40,986
NO. EDDIE, COME ON.
WE CAN GO RIGHT THERE.
462
00:18:41,086 --> 00:18:43,288
OK. JUST HOP OVER
THAT...
463
00:18:43,388 --> 00:18:46,358
EXCUSE ME. SORRY.
464
00:18:46,458 --> 00:18:47,426
EXCUSE ME.
465
00:18:47,526 --> 00:18:50,796
COULD WE, UM...
RIGHT THERE. YEAH.
466
00:18:50,896 --> 00:18:52,064
DOWN IN FRONT!
467
00:18:52,164 --> 00:18:53,632
SORRY. SORRY.
468
00:18:53,732 --> 00:18:55,434
OH, EDDIE!
469
00:18:55,534 --> 00:18:57,469
MY EYES!
COME ON, MAN.
470
00:18:57,569 --> 00:19:00,539
BEACH BLANKET. SORRY.
471
00:19:00,639 --> 00:19:03,575
WELL, I'D LIKE TO--
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
472
00:19:03,675 --> 00:19:06,512
OK.
473
00:19:06,612 --> 00:19:08,914
WHAT, ARE YOU
BREAK-DANCING?
474
00:19:09,014 --> 00:19:11,083
JUST SIT.
475
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:15,954
OH! LOOK.
476
00:19:16,054 --> 00:19:19,324
DR. SEAVER
IS GONNA SING.
477
00:19:19,424 --> 00:19:20,626
YES, PHILADELPHIA.
478
00:19:20,726 --> 00:19:24,463
LET'S SEE WHO'S READY
TO GET OUR YIDDISH ON.
479
00:19:24,563 --> 00:19:27,833
I SAY OY,
YOU SAY VEY.
480
00:19:27,933 --> 00:19:30,269
OY!
481
00:19:30,369 --> 00:19:31,470
OY!
482
00:19:31,570 --> 00:19:34,840
WE DON'T NEED THAT PART.
483
00:19:34,940 --> 00:19:38,343
♪ IF I WERE A RICH MAN ♪
484
00:19:38,443 --> 00:19:40,979
[SINGING]
485
00:19:41,079 --> 00:19:43,515
WE'LL BUILD ON THAT.
486
00:19:43,615 --> 00:19:47,052
♪ I'D WORK ALL DAY
IN THE BITTY-BITTY-BUM ♪
487
00:19:47,152 --> 00:19:49,555
♪ IF I WERE A WEALTHY MAN ♪
488
00:19:49,655 --> 00:19:52,524
♪ I WOULDN'T
HAVE TO WORK HARD ♪
489
00:19:52,624 --> 00:19:55,961
[SINGING]
490
00:19:56,061 --> 00:19:59,331
♪ IF I WERE
A BITTY-BITTY-RICH ♪
491
00:19:59,431 --> 00:20:02,467
♪ YIDDLE-DIDLE-DIDDLE-DIDLE
MAN ♪
492
00:20:02,568 --> 00:20:05,370
♪ I'D BUILD
A BIG, TALL HOUSE ♪
493
00:20:05,470 --> 00:20:08,373
♪ WITH ROOMS
BY THE DOZEN ♪
494
00:20:08,473 --> 00:20:10,709
♪ IN THE MIDDLE
OF THE TOWN ♪
495
00:20:10,809 --> 00:20:16,648
♪ STAIRWAYS REACHING NOWHERE
JUST FOR SHOW ♪
496
00:20:16,748 --> 00:20:20,452
♪ AYE, IF I WERE
A RICH MAN ♪
497
00:20:22,588 --> 00:20:25,424
IT'S NOT GONNA
HAPPEN, BUDDY.
498
00:20:25,524 --> 00:20:30,229
♪ IF I WERE
A RICH MAN ♪
499
00:20:32,464 --> 00:20:33,799
COME ON. I WENT
TO A LOT OF TROUBLE
500
00:20:33,899 --> 00:20:35,434
DRESSING AS A JEWISH
FARMER HERE.
501
00:20:35,534 --> 00:20:37,436
THE LEAST YOU COULD DO
IS SING ALONG TO THE CHORUS.
502
00:20:37,536 --> 00:20:38,637
HELP ME OUT.
HERE WE GO.
503
00:20:38,737 --> 00:20:41,740
♪ I WOULDN'T
HAVE TO WORK HARD ♪
504
00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:44,843
LOOK AT THIS FACE.
I'M NOT SINGING.
505
00:20:44,943 --> 00:20:47,779
WELL, I'M NOT LEAVING
TILL YOU DO.
506
00:20:47,879 --> 00:20:49,414
THEN YOU'RE
GOING TO BE HERE
507
00:20:49,514 --> 00:20:51,683
UNTIL YOU GROW
A REAL BEARD.
508
00:20:51,783 --> 00:20:55,854
LOOK, DOUCHE...
I NEED THIS GIG.
509
00:20:55,954 --> 00:20:58,357
YOU REALLY DON'T
WANT TO HEAR HIM SING.
510
00:20:58,457 --> 00:20:59,891
THIS ISN'T ABOUT
QUALITY, MA'AM.
511
00:20:59,992 --> 00:21:01,326
IT'S ABOUT EFFORT.
OK, TOUGH GUY,
512
00:21:01,426 --> 00:21:04,363
{\an8}YOU WANT TO DROP
THE CRACKERS AND SING ALONG,
513
00:21:04,463 --> 00:21:08,133
{\an8}OR DO YOU WANT ME TO CANCEL
THIS WHOLE PRODUCTION?
514
00:21:08,233 --> 00:21:10,469
{\an8}I'LL SHUT IT DOWN.
I WILL.
515
00:21:10,569 --> 00:21:12,771
{\an8}YOUR CALL.
516
00:21:17,776 --> 00:21:21,280
{\an8}I'LL SEE YOU IN THE
PARKING LOT, ASS FACE.
517
00:21:21,380 --> 00:21:24,016
{\an8}♪ IF I WERE A RICH MAN ♪
518
00:21:24,116 --> 00:21:26,385
{\an8}[SINGING]
519
00:21:26,485 --> 00:21:28,887
{\an8}♪ I'D WORK ALL DAY ♪
520
00:21:28,987 --> 00:21:29,855
{\an8}[SINGING]
521
00:21:29,955 --> 00:21:31,957
{\an8}♪ IF I WERE A WEALTHY MAN ♪
522
00:21:32,791 --> 00:21:34,092
{\an8}[CHEERING]
39402
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