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1
00:00:00,967 --> 00:00:02,002
(JINGLE PLAYING)
2
00:00:02,102 --> 00:00:03,870
♪ Every time I zig, you zag
3
00:00:03,970 --> 00:00:07,273
♪ I like coffee,
tea's your bag
4
00:00:07,374 --> 00:00:09,242
♪ Though it makes no sense,
it's true
5
00:00:09,342 --> 00:00:11,344
♪ There's no me without you ♪
6
00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:18,618
JOY: 'Til Death
is filmed in front of
a live studio audience.
7
00:00:18,718 --> 00:00:21,988
Three feet.
Two feet.
8
00:00:22,088 --> 00:00:23,656
One foot.
9
00:00:27,827 --> 00:00:29,496
You're good.
10
00:00:31,765 --> 00:00:33,233
{\an8}(GRUNTING)
11
00:00:33,333 --> 00:00:34,634
{\an8}Door won't open.
Okay, look,
12
00:00:34,734 --> 00:00:37,570
{\an8}you gotta push
just right below
the handle there.
13
00:00:37,670 --> 00:00:40,740
{\an8}Below the handle.
You gotta push and pull
at the same time.
14
00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:43,043
{\an8}How's a man supposed
to push and pull at
the same time?
15
00:00:43,143 --> 00:00:45,145
{\an8}I might as well
be doing nothing.
16
00:00:45,245 --> 00:00:47,714
{\an8}All right, you know,
let me get it.
17
00:00:48,415 --> 00:00:49,382
{\an8}(GRUNTING)
18
00:00:49,482 --> 00:00:50,717
{\an8}You know what?
19
00:00:50,817 --> 00:00:53,420
{\an8}A lot of you
is in my
no dude zone.
20
00:00:54,654 --> 00:00:56,189
{\an8}You know what?
21
00:00:56,289 --> 00:00:59,592
{\an8}I'm going out
Dukes of Hazzard style.
Let me do this.
22
00:01:01,027 --> 00:01:01,961
{\an8}All right, easy.
23
00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:03,630
{\an8}(GRUNTING)
24
00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:11,304
{\an8}(THUDDING)
25
00:01:11,404 --> 00:01:13,940
{\an8}That is not as
easy as it looks
on television.
26
00:01:16,776 --> 00:01:17,944
{\an8}Well, she's back.
27
00:01:18,044 --> 00:01:20,246
{\an8}The car that
bought me a boat.
28
00:01:20,346 --> 00:01:22,048
{\an8}Yeah. How you
doing, Sid?
29
00:01:22,148 --> 00:01:24,217
{\an8}Good. What's wrong
with her this time,
Eddie?
30
00:01:24,317 --> 00:01:26,086
{\an8}What isn't wrong
with her?
31
00:01:26,186 --> 00:01:27,554
{\an8}The dome light's
flickering. The
door is stuck.
32
00:01:27,654 --> 00:01:28,955
{\an8}And when I push
her past 42,
33
00:01:29,055 --> 00:01:30,423
{\an8}there's a noise in the
engine, it sounds like
34
00:01:30,523 --> 00:01:32,725
{\an8}a monkey violating
a squirrel.
35
00:01:33,960 --> 00:01:35,195
{\an8}What about the brakes?
36
00:01:35,295 --> 00:01:36,296
{\an8}What's wrong
with the brakes?
37
00:01:36,396 --> 00:01:37,330
{\an8}What's wrong
with the brakes?
38
00:01:38,264 --> 00:01:39,866
{\an8}They don't stop the car.
39
00:01:39,966 --> 00:01:42,569
{\an8}All right, give me
about four hours.
40
00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:50,610
{\an8}Check it out.
I put a donut hole
into a donut.
41
00:01:50,710 --> 00:01:55,081
{\an8}See, this is what
the donut looked like
before man got involved.
42
00:01:55,181 --> 00:01:56,516
{\an8}I can't hear a word
you're saying
right now.
43
00:01:56,616 --> 00:01:59,252
{\an8}I'm riding a pretty
big sugar buzz.
44
00:01:59,352 --> 00:02:01,421
You fellas interested
in checking this baby out?
45
00:02:01,521 --> 00:02:03,289
She's a beautiful
automobile.
46
00:02:03,389 --> 00:02:04,791
Yeah, well, we're here
for the donut holes,
47
00:02:04,891 --> 00:02:07,460
so you could save
your seductively
minty breath.
48
00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:08,895
{\an8}(LAUGHS)
No problem.
49
00:02:08,995 --> 00:02:11,998
You're probably looking
for something more
conservative anyway.
50
00:02:12,098 --> 00:02:16,169
Conservative?
This man turned me
on to Barack Obama.
51
00:02:16,269 --> 00:02:20,373
Keep your pants on, Kenny.
See, she thinks if she can
make me feel not hip,
52
00:02:20,473 --> 00:02:22,475
that I'll buy the car
to prove that I am.
53
00:02:22,575 --> 00:02:24,777
No, no, wait a minute.
My job is
to sell you a car
54
00:02:24,878 --> 00:02:27,280
that suits your lifestyle.
So, let's start from there.
55
00:02:27,380 --> 00:02:29,315
How old are you,
about 60?
56
00:02:31,951 --> 00:02:32,952
I'll take it.
57
00:02:33,052 --> 00:02:33,887
(HONKING)
58
00:02:35,455 --> 00:02:37,290
{\an8}JOY: I know
it would be cheaper
59
00:02:37,390 --> 00:02:39,559
to buy a whole new dryer,
but I have to talk
to my husband first.
60
00:02:39,659 --> 00:02:42,662
We always consult
each other on big purchases.
61
00:02:44,063 --> 00:02:45,932
Look, buddy, your
little sales tricks
62
00:02:46,032 --> 00:02:48,034
aren't going to work
on this family. Okay?
63
00:02:48,134 --> 00:02:52,405
We're practical and we're
hard working and we spend
our money wisely.
64
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:55,542
Okay, thank you.
65
00:02:56,943 --> 00:02:58,411
There she is.
66
00:02:58,511 --> 00:02:59,946
How'd it go getting
your car fixed?
67
00:03:00,046 --> 00:03:03,249
Not good, not good
at all. No. We...
68
00:03:03,349 --> 00:03:08,721
Problems, Joy, with the
spark plugs, the break
pads, flux capacitator.
69
00:03:10,690 --> 00:03:13,960
I think we have to
start thinking about,
70
00:03:14,060 --> 00:03:16,329
I don't know,
buying a new car.
71
00:03:18,064 --> 00:03:19,666
Yeah, no.
72
00:03:23,169 --> 00:03:24,637
(STAMMERING)
What? Why not?
73
00:03:24,737 --> 00:03:26,439
Well, you're going
to have to put
that in line
74
00:03:26,539 --> 00:03:28,341
behind getting a new
dryer, because
ours is broken
75
00:03:28,441 --> 00:03:30,243
and if I have to hang
your pants out to dry
76
00:03:30,343 --> 00:03:32,512
there'll be
a total eclipse.
77
00:03:35,148 --> 00:03:36,916
If we get a new car,
78
00:03:37,016 --> 00:03:38,451
then you're going
to have to sell
your old car.
79
00:03:38,551 --> 00:03:40,620
And remember when
we tried to sell our VCR,
80
00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:45,024
that weird guy stole
our toilet seat and
climbed out the window.
81
00:03:53,700 --> 00:03:56,369
Yeah. But come
on, honey,
82
00:03:56,469 --> 00:03:58,504
I mean, loosen up,
it's just money.
83
00:03:58,605 --> 00:04:00,974
Ain't no pockets in
heaven, you know.
84
00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:06,646
Let's go buy a new
dryer, or a car.
85
00:04:09,148 --> 00:04:11,384
What is with you?
Last week you
punched a wall
86
00:04:11,484 --> 00:04:13,753
'cause I bought
pre-cut pineapple.
87
00:04:16,756 --> 00:04:19,759
Honey, you know that
I love you and I
want you to be happy.
88
00:04:19,859 --> 00:04:21,527
And there will come
a time when you can
get a new car.
89
00:04:21,628 --> 00:04:23,663
But it's not now.
90
00:04:23,763 --> 00:04:26,733
Actually,
it is now.
91
00:04:26,833 --> 00:04:29,202
I can't believe you
bought this without
asking me!
92
00:04:29,302 --> 00:04:31,871
Well, I didn't officially
ask you, but we discussed it.
93
00:04:31,971 --> 00:04:33,106
When?
94
00:04:33,206 --> 00:04:36,309
Two minutes ago,
in the kitchen.
95
00:04:36,409 --> 00:04:38,044
You already
bought the car!
96
00:04:38,144 --> 00:04:41,047
You know, it just sounds
like someone's in the mood
for a fight. So...
97
00:04:41,147 --> 00:04:43,416
Seriously, Eddie.
A red sports car?
98
00:04:43,516 --> 00:04:45,918
This is a classic
mid-life crisis.
99
00:04:46,019 --> 00:04:50,823
Why don't you get your ear
pierced and marry
Calista Flockhart?
100
00:04:50,923 --> 00:04:52,625
Just because I bought
a red convertible,
101
00:04:52,725 --> 00:04:54,694
and I happen to
be in the middle
of my life,
102
00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:57,997
does not mean
I'm having
a mid-life crisis.
103
00:04:58,097 --> 00:05:01,467
Joy, honey, come on,
check out this
high-tech dashboard.
104
00:05:01,567 --> 00:05:04,003
I had it customized
with all the bells
and whistles.
105
00:05:04,103 --> 00:05:06,973
I got the GPS,
the TripStar,
the Bluetooth,
106
00:05:07,073 --> 00:05:12,145
and for an extra $7.50
a month, you can Wi-Fi
your MyPage space.
107
00:05:13,246 --> 00:05:16,182
It's MySpace
page, grandpa.
108
00:05:17,884 --> 00:05:19,552
Hey, you know what else?
109
00:05:19,652 --> 00:05:22,055
You could actually
e-mail photos right
from the dashboard.
110
00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:26,959
You know what else
you could e-mail from the
dashboard? A cry for help.
111
00:05:27,060 --> 00:05:29,162
Eddie, can you even
fit in this thing?
112
00:05:29,262 --> 00:05:30,730
Like a glove.
113
00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:32,298
(CAR BEEPING)
114
00:05:45,945 --> 00:05:50,750
Vroom, vroom, vroom.
115
00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:55,054
Tell you what, you teach
your face how to smile,
maybe you'll get a ride.
116
00:05:55,154 --> 00:05:56,823
(CAR ENGINE STARTING)
117
00:06:00,626 --> 00:06:02,095
Relax!
118
00:06:12,004 --> 00:06:13,072
A red convertible?
119
00:06:13,172 --> 00:06:14,741
Right?
It's insulting.
120
00:06:14,841 --> 00:06:17,443
It's worse than insulting.
It's a hostile
act on his part.
121
00:06:18,945 --> 00:06:20,947
I mean, all he thinks about
is that stupid car.
122
00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:22,482
The only time
he's touched me
in the last week,
123
00:06:22,582 --> 00:06:24,517
he ran his hand down
my arm and said,
124
00:06:24,617 --> 00:06:27,253
"My seats are softer
than your skin."
125
00:06:28,254 --> 00:06:29,989
(SIGHS)
126
00:06:30,089 --> 00:06:32,859
My fourth husband did
this exact same thing.
Here's what you do.
127
00:06:32,959 --> 00:06:34,560
(EXCLAIMS)
128
00:06:34,660 --> 00:06:37,663
This is good.
This is why
I come to you.
129
00:06:37,764 --> 00:06:39,399
Slash his tires.
130
00:06:41,367 --> 00:06:42,435
Excuse me?
Go in the kitchen,
131
00:06:42,535 --> 00:06:43,870
get the biggest butcher
knife you can find,
132
00:06:43,970 --> 00:06:46,139
and shred the
living hell out
of those tires.
133
00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:47,440
Are there
leather seats?
134
00:06:47,540 --> 00:06:48,608
Yeah...
Listen to me.
135
00:06:48,708 --> 00:06:50,543
After you do the tires,
you take the knife
136
00:06:50,643 --> 00:06:55,882
and you bury it into
the driver's side headrest
like a Colombian drug lord.
137
00:06:55,982 --> 00:06:57,884
Joy. I've been
trying to work out
the numbers
138
00:06:57,984 --> 00:07:00,620
for that Caribbean
cruise package
we've been working on.
139
00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:02,622
I got the event
coordinator
on the line,
140
00:07:02,722 --> 00:07:04,490
you know,
the one you call
"horse-face Heidi."
141
00:07:04,590 --> 00:07:06,426
(LAUGHING)
142
00:07:06,526 --> 00:07:08,094
Stu, you're still
wearing your headset.
143
00:07:09,295 --> 00:07:10,863
Stupid phone
from the future!
144
00:07:10,963 --> 00:07:12,398
(GRUNTS)
145
00:07:12,498 --> 00:07:15,134
Come on,
get your head
in the game, brah!
146
00:07:20,173 --> 00:07:22,875
♪ She's my cherry pie
147
00:07:22,975 --> 00:07:25,711
♪ Cool drink of water
Such a sweet surprise
148
00:07:25,812 --> 00:07:28,247
♪ Tastes so good
make a grown man cry
149
00:07:28,347 --> 00:07:31,250
♪ Sweet cherry pie
150
00:07:41,561 --> 00:07:43,362
♪ Well, swingin'
on the front porch
151
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:44,697
♪ Swingin' on the lawn
152
00:07:44,797 --> 00:07:47,467
♪ Swingin' where we want
'Cause there ain't nobody home
153
00:07:47,567 --> 00:07:50,102
♪ Swingin' to the left
And swingin' to the right
154
00:07:50,203 --> 00:07:53,673
♪ If I think about baseball,
I'll swing all night, yeah
155
00:07:58,344 --> 00:08:00,947
♪ Swingin' in the living room
Swingin' in the kitchen
156
00:08:01,047 --> 00:08:02,448
♪ Most folks don't
157
00:08:02,548 --> 00:08:03,683
♪ 'Cause they're
too busy bitchin'
158
00:08:03,783 --> 00:08:04,851
♪ Swingin' in there
159
00:08:04,951 --> 00:08:06,819
♪ 'Cause she wanted me
to feed her
160
00:08:06,919 --> 00:08:09,055
♪ So I mixed up the batter
And she licked the beater
161
00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:11,724
♪ I scream, you scream
We all scream for her
162
00:08:11,824 --> 00:08:14,494
♪ Don't even try
'Cause you can't ignore her
163
00:08:14,594 --> 00:08:17,029
♪ She's my cherry pie
164
00:08:17,129 --> 00:08:19,899
♪ Cool drink of water
Such a sweet surprise
165
00:08:19,999 --> 00:08:22,635
♪ Tastes so good
make a grown man cry
166
00:08:22,735 --> 00:08:25,371
♪ Sweet cherry pie, oh, yeah
167
00:08:25,471 --> 00:08:27,573
♪ She's my cherry pie
168
00:08:27,673 --> 00:08:30,643
♪ Put a smile on your face
Ten miles wide
169
00:08:30,743 --> 00:08:33,179
♪ Looks so good
Bring a tear to your eye
170
00:08:33,279 --> 00:08:36,148
♪ Sweet cherry pie, yeah
171
00:08:36,249 --> 00:08:41,754
♪ Sweet cherry pie
172
00:08:43,623 --> 00:08:44,724
♪ Swing it ♪
173
00:08:46,959 --> 00:08:50,196
♪ Who let them dogs out?
Woof, woof, woof, woof
174
00:08:50,296 --> 00:08:53,866
♪ Who let them dogs out?
Woof, woof, woof, woof
175
00:08:53,966 --> 00:08:57,236
♪ Who let them dogs out?
Woof, woof, woof, woof
176
00:08:57,336 --> 00:09:01,574
♪ Who let them dogs out?
Woof, woof, woof, woof ♪
177
00:09:01,674 --> 00:09:03,175
{\an8}(KENNY SIGHS)
You know the
real question is,
178
00:09:03,276 --> 00:09:04,877
who let you out?
179
00:09:06,746 --> 00:09:09,382
Did you just roller skate
17 miles to my house?
180
00:09:09,482 --> 00:09:11,350
Yeah, my ex-wife
took my ride,
181
00:09:11,450 --> 00:09:13,586
so I'm kind of
in between cars
right now.
182
00:09:13,686 --> 00:09:17,089
But, it's all good.
Beyonce needs some
fresh air anyway,
183
00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:19,392
so...
184
00:09:19,492 --> 00:09:22,828
♪ I took my dog out
Woof, woof, woof, woof
185
00:09:22,929 --> 00:09:26,098
♪ I took my dog out
Woof, woof, woof
186
00:09:26,198 --> 00:09:28,401
♪ Who took my dog out? ♪
187
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:32,171
K-Chesty needs some
new wheels, man.
188
00:09:32,271 --> 00:09:34,006
And I was skating
by the dealership
this morning,
189
00:09:34,106 --> 00:09:35,975
and I noticed that
your car was on
the market again.
190
00:09:36,075 --> 00:09:38,544
What are you asking,
if could buy my old
car? Go for it.
191
00:09:38,644 --> 00:09:40,479
{\an5}You sure you
don't mind?
Why would I mind?
192
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:42,214
You guys were together
a long time, man,
193
00:09:42,315 --> 00:09:43,783
and we're friends,
you know what I'm
saying?
194
00:09:43,883 --> 00:09:45,785
I don't want to
move in on your
old hoopty, man,
195
00:09:45,885 --> 00:09:48,654
and there's some kind
of weirdness going on
between me and you.
196
00:09:48,754 --> 00:09:50,623
No, trust me.
If there's any
weirdness going on,
197
00:09:50,723 --> 00:09:53,593
it's because you're
wearing a Chihuahua.
198
00:09:55,528 --> 00:09:56,862
All right, so
we cool, right?
199
00:09:56,963 --> 00:09:58,264
We're cool.
200
00:09:58,364 --> 00:10:00,366
(CROWS CAWING)
201
00:10:00,466 --> 00:10:02,768
Oh, crap,
the crows are back.
202
00:10:04,570 --> 00:10:06,339
(SHOOING)
203
00:10:08,007 --> 00:10:09,408
Get away!
204
00:10:10,176 --> 00:10:11,344
(HISSING)
205
00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:20,419
You should've seen him
with his short-shorts
206
00:10:20,519 --> 00:10:22,488
and his soap
and his sponges.
207
00:10:22,588 --> 00:10:25,591
I felt like
I was watching
an old Wham! video.
208
00:10:26,892 --> 00:10:28,127
Here's what you do.
209
00:10:30,429 --> 00:10:31,831
You get your own soap
and your own sponges,
210
00:10:31,931 --> 00:10:33,799
and then you find
a Latin man
with a ponytail
211
00:10:33,899 --> 00:10:36,102
and ride him
like a dirt bike.
212
00:10:37,837 --> 00:10:40,473
Did they do
a background
check on you?
213
00:10:41,741 --> 00:10:43,609
Well, you better
do something
to turn his head,
214
00:10:43,709 --> 00:10:45,244
or the next thing
you know, a private dick
will be showing you
215
00:10:45,344 --> 00:10:47,647
8 by 10 glossies
of that car
pulling into a motel
216
00:10:47,747 --> 00:10:49,281
with the 20-year-old
yoga instructor
217
00:10:49,382 --> 00:10:52,485
who is dying to teach
him downward dog.
218
00:10:54,387 --> 00:10:57,223
You're right.
But what am I gonna do,
start dating someone?
219
00:10:57,323 --> 00:10:58,791
I mean,
do I literally have to
220
00:10:58,891 --> 00:11:01,227
parade a guy in
front of his face
to get his attention?
221
00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:02,361
(THUDDING)
222
00:11:02,461 --> 00:11:03,562
(EXCLAIMS)
223
00:11:06,932 --> 00:11:08,200
JOY: Uh...
224
00:11:14,373 --> 00:11:15,875
Hey, Stu,
how's it going?
225
00:11:15,975 --> 00:11:18,477
Uh, super not good.
226
00:11:18,577 --> 00:11:21,914
I was trying
to photocopy my face
for a party invite.
227
00:11:22,014 --> 00:11:25,017
I forgot to
close my eyes.
228
00:11:25,117 --> 00:11:27,453
Oh. Well, I hope
that party's not
tomorrow night,
229
00:11:27,553 --> 00:11:29,088
'cause I just got
off the phone
with corporate,
230
00:11:29,188 --> 00:11:31,223
and they are anxious
for us to finish
that cruise package.
231
00:11:31,323 --> 00:11:34,660
Ah! Damn it! Being an
executive is so hard!
232
00:11:36,328 --> 00:11:40,032
I should've joined the Army,
then I'd be home now.
233
00:11:40,132 --> 00:11:42,668
(SIGHING) Yeah, I'm not
happy about it either.
234
00:11:42,768 --> 00:11:44,603
But, um... Well,
here's an idea.
235
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:46,539
We don't have to finish
it here at the office,
236
00:11:46,639 --> 00:11:48,140
maybe we could
do it at my place.
237
00:11:48,240 --> 00:11:49,542
Your place?
238
00:11:50,810 --> 00:11:52,211
Yeah.
239
00:11:52,311 --> 00:11:54,647
It will be totally cash,
you know,
240
00:11:54,747 --> 00:12:00,019
you could wear some tight
pants and a tight little
shirt and shave your chest.
241
00:12:00,119 --> 00:12:01,921
I don't know, whatever.
242
00:12:19,905 --> 00:12:21,574
(WHIRRING)
243
00:12:24,310 --> 00:12:26,378
♪ I'll tell you what I want
What I really, really want
244
00:12:26,479 --> 00:12:28,414
♪ So tell me what you want
What you really, really want
245
00:12:28,514 --> 00:12:30,916
♪ I wanna, I wanna,
I wanna, I wanna
246
00:12:31,016 --> 00:12:33,419
♪ Really, really, really
wanna zig-a-zig, ah
247
00:12:33,519 --> 00:12:35,321
{\an8}(CAR HONKS)
♪ If you wanna be my lover
248
00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:37,256
♪ You gotta get
with my friends
249
00:12:37,356 --> 00:12:39,291
{\an8}(CAR HONKS)
♪ Make it last forever
250
00:12:39,391 --> 00:12:40,893
♪ Friendship never ends
251
00:12:40,993 --> 00:12:42,294
(ALARM SOUNDING)
252
00:12:42,394 --> 00:12:43,362
♪ If you wanna be
my lover... ♪
253
00:12:43,462 --> 00:12:44,697
WOMAN: Mr. Stark?
254
00:12:44,797 --> 00:12:46,332
Who's that?
Who's talking?
255
00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:48,067
This is Judy
from TripStar.
256
00:12:48,167 --> 00:12:50,536
I see your car alarm
has been activated.
Is everything okay?
257
00:12:50,636 --> 00:12:53,372
Um, I don't know.
How poisonous
is wiper fluid?
258
00:12:53,472 --> 00:12:55,574
Just try to calm
down and tell me
what's happening.
259
00:12:55,674 --> 00:12:57,610
Okay, well, I was
going to Winky Mart
260
00:12:57,710 --> 00:13:00,079
to pick up some orange
juice and the car
tried to kill me.
261
00:13:00,179 --> 00:13:01,881
That's what's happening.
262
00:13:01,981 --> 00:13:04,784
Okay, I'm just gonna
need you to hit
the reset button.
263
00:13:04,884 --> 00:13:06,218
Oh, God!
What is it?
264
00:13:06,318 --> 00:13:09,088
I think I accidentally
activated my seat heater.
265
00:13:09,188 --> 00:13:12,658
It's okay, Mr. Stark,
I'm going to reset your
onboard computer right now.
266
00:13:12,758 --> 00:13:15,394
Okay, well, please hurry!
It's roasting my kielbasa!
267
00:13:15,494 --> 00:13:17,363
That's too much
information, sir.
268
00:13:17,463 --> 00:13:20,399
All right, listen,
you gotta help me, Judy.
269
00:13:20,499 --> 00:13:22,201
Please don't let me
die at Winky Mart.
270
00:13:22,301 --> 00:13:23,969
(CAR ALARM STOPS)
271
00:13:26,338 --> 00:13:28,340
God bless you,
Judy from TripStar.
272
00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:29,408
(LOUD HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
273
00:13:29,508 --> 00:13:31,811
♪ Every time you see me
as I roll on by
274
00:13:31,911 --> 00:13:34,647
♪ Homies looking on,
the ladies saying hi
275
00:13:34,747 --> 00:13:36,949
♪ Y'all know that
I run the street
276
00:13:37,049 --> 00:13:38,350
♪ I'm setting
land speed records
277
00:13:38,450 --> 00:13:40,686
♪ Y'all got
two left feet
278
00:13:40,786 --> 00:13:42,988
♪ Fresh paint,
leather, chrome and wax
279
00:13:43,088 --> 00:13:46,125
♪ I've got the baddest
little ride on
this side of the tracks
280
00:13:46,225 --> 00:13:49,094
♪ I keep my seat down low
I keep my head up high
281
00:13:49,195 --> 00:13:50,362
♪ I got some girlies
in the back
282
00:13:50,462 --> 00:13:52,097
♪ And ain't none of them shy
283
00:13:52,198 --> 00:13:54,900
♪ It's the same story
every night and day
284
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:58,103
♪ We be maxing out the booty,
no work, all play
285
00:13:58,204 --> 00:14:01,073
♪ When your whip's this fly
and you all of this cash
286
00:14:01,173 --> 00:14:04,510
♪ You got the angels
on the stick
and you still won't crash
287
00:14:04,610 --> 00:14:07,813
♪ Tweeters in the dash
and the sub in the trunk ♪
288
00:14:07,913 --> 00:14:10,649
(LAUGHING)
289
00:14:10,749 --> 00:14:15,321
What's up, player?
Remember your old car?
290
00:14:15,421 --> 00:14:19,425
You pimped my ride.
She's beautiful.
291
00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:20,726
(LAUGHS)
292
00:14:20,826 --> 00:14:22,394
What do you got going
on there, dragons?
293
00:14:22,494 --> 00:14:24,196
{\an5}Yeah.
Yeah, I should've
thought of that.
294
00:14:25,965 --> 00:14:28,200
Those spinning
hubcaps are cool.
295
00:14:28,300 --> 00:14:29,902
Looks like the car's
moving when it's not.
296
00:14:31,804 --> 00:14:33,405
I like that.
297
00:14:33,505 --> 00:14:34,540
So do we.
298
00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:35,674
"We"?
299
00:14:45,184 --> 00:14:46,552
(KENNY LAUGHS)
300
00:14:46,652 --> 00:14:48,754
Eddie, you know Marla,
she lives down
the street from you?
301
00:14:48,854 --> 00:14:52,691
Yes, I think we had a moment
the other day when
I was washing my car.
302
00:14:52,791 --> 00:14:54,460
This ring a bell?
303
00:14:57,630 --> 00:15:00,332
I remember the car.
304
00:15:00,432 --> 00:15:03,269
You will never
guess what Marla
named her dog.
305
00:15:03,369 --> 00:15:05,070
(MARLA GIGGLES)
306
00:15:05,170 --> 00:15:06,805
Jay-Z.
307
00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:11,644
Look at that.
Beyonce and Jay-Z.
308
00:15:13,045 --> 00:15:15,047
It's a doggy date.
309
00:15:15,147 --> 00:15:17,283
Listen, Marla, if you
ever want to take
a spin in the roadster,
310
00:15:17,383 --> 00:15:19,218
you know where I live.
311
00:15:19,318 --> 00:15:21,287
Yeah, that's okay,
I know what it's like.
312
00:15:21,387 --> 00:15:22,922
My mom has one.
313
00:15:24,657 --> 00:15:27,626
Wow. She must be
a very cool lady.
314
00:15:27,726 --> 00:15:29,995
She's okay.
315
00:15:30,095 --> 00:15:31,830
Okay, we rolling,
man. Be good.
316
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:33,999
It was nice
meeting you, sir.
317
00:15:37,236 --> 00:15:38,671
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
318
00:15:40,873 --> 00:15:41,907
Uh-oh!
319
00:15:48,814 --> 00:15:50,316
Oh, God!
320
00:15:51,884 --> 00:15:53,152
(GRUNTING)
321
00:16:03,762 --> 00:16:07,533
Engage roof!
Engage roof!
322
00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:11,537
Come on!
Come on, roof!
Come on!
323
00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:13,372
Come on!
324
00:16:16,175 --> 00:16:17,710
Ow, ow!
325
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:20,012
It's got my hair!
It's got my hair!
326
00:16:20,112 --> 00:16:23,048
Judy! Judy!
327
00:16:34,193 --> 00:16:36,729
Can I go home now?
My brain is full.
328
00:16:39,865 --> 00:16:42,768
No, I think we should
go over this itinerary
one more time.
329
00:16:42,868 --> 00:16:46,972
Oh, man.
My dog is so pooping
in my kitchen right now.
330
00:16:47,072 --> 00:16:49,842
(CAR APPROACHING)
331
00:16:49,942 --> 00:16:52,978
You're right, we're done.
But before you go...
332
00:17:00,119 --> 00:17:01,620
(SIGHING)
Let's celebrate.
333
00:17:03,522 --> 00:17:05,090
Here you go.
334
00:17:05,190 --> 00:17:07,526
Here is to a long,
hard week.
335
00:17:07,626 --> 00:17:09,294
(LAUGHING)
336
00:17:18,404 --> 00:17:20,672
Stu, you are
so funny.
337
00:17:22,608 --> 00:17:24,476
What'd I do?
338
00:17:26,779 --> 00:17:30,616
Oh, hey, Eddie.
I didn't expect
you home so soon.
339
00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:35,287
Stu and I were,
we were just doing
a little work.
340
00:17:35,387 --> 00:17:37,589
Joy, can I talk
to you for a minute,
please?
341
00:17:37,689 --> 00:17:39,224
Excuse me, Stu.
342
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:44,363
Listen, I'm sorry
I've been acting
like such an ass
343
00:17:44,463 --> 00:17:45,664
these last couple of days.
344
00:17:45,764 --> 00:17:48,634
Yes, you have.
Here, sit down.
345
00:17:48,734 --> 00:17:52,938
You know, sometimes
in life, the thing
you love the most
346
00:17:53,038 --> 00:17:57,209
you take for granted.
And I guess what I'm
trying to say is,
347
00:17:57,309 --> 00:18:00,746
I've never really
appreciated my old car.
348
00:18:09,755 --> 00:18:12,091
Eddie? Look
around you.
349
00:18:12,191 --> 00:18:16,962
Romantic lighting
and wine and another
man, I mean...
350
00:18:17,062 --> 00:18:19,631
Don't you see what
is going on here?
351
00:18:19,731 --> 00:18:21,700
Not really.
352
00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:24,336
I'm kind of lost, too.
353
00:18:24,436 --> 00:18:27,739
Doesn't it look
like someone is
having an affair?
354
00:18:28,173 --> 00:18:29,608
What?
355
00:18:29,708 --> 00:18:30,676
What?
356
00:18:32,878 --> 00:18:34,847
Not a real affair.
I staged all this
357
00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:38,417
and I used Stu to
make it look like
I was having an affair.
358
00:18:38,517 --> 00:18:40,719
Wait. So none
of this is real?
359
00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:46,792
You mean, the last
eight weeks of my life
have been a charade?
360
00:18:52,197 --> 00:18:56,368
The interview,
the computer,
the awesome desk.
361
00:18:56,468 --> 00:18:59,404
No, Stu,
the job is real.
362
00:18:59,505 --> 00:19:02,274
I'm just talking about
the last 90 minutes.
363
00:19:04,042 --> 00:19:05,777
Don't you see what
you are doing to me?
364
00:19:05,878 --> 00:19:07,179
What did I do?
365
00:19:07,279 --> 00:19:11,283
Ever since you bought
that stupid car, it's
as if I am invisible.
366
00:19:11,383 --> 00:19:13,752
But I guess that's
something that I'm going
to have to get used to
367
00:19:13,852 --> 00:19:15,954
for the rest of my
life, you getting
shiny new objects
368
00:19:16,054 --> 00:19:18,090
'cause you don't want
to focus on your boring,
old wife.
369
00:19:19,625 --> 00:19:21,593
So, do I show up
to work tomorrow or...
370
00:19:21,693 --> 00:19:24,997
Yes, Stu, you
will come to
work tomorrow.
371
00:19:25,097 --> 00:19:27,432
I'm so sorry
about all of
this.
372
00:19:28,901 --> 00:19:30,335
See you tomorrow.
373
00:19:30,435 --> 00:19:31,503
Oh, can I get
the laptop?
374
00:19:31,603 --> 00:19:32,771
No.
375
00:19:38,076 --> 00:19:40,379
All right, listen
honey, I'm sorry
all this happened.
376
00:19:40,479 --> 00:19:41,980
(SIGHS) You know,
it's not fun
377
00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:44,983
feeling like you can
be replaced by a car.
378
00:19:45,083 --> 00:19:47,920
All right, look,
listen, Joy,
look at me.
379
00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:51,924
Look at me.
I am so lucky
to have you.
380
00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:55,260
You are the most
beautiful, passionate,
381
00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:57,963
smartest lady
in the world.
382
00:19:58,063 --> 00:20:02,401
There is not a car
out there that can
ever replace you.
383
00:20:02,501 --> 00:20:04,836
Certainly not one
in my price range.
384
00:20:11,310 --> 00:20:14,713
That's all you
needed to say.
Was that so hard?
385
00:20:16,381 --> 00:20:17,516
Mmm!
386
00:20:19,318 --> 00:20:21,553
I'm sorry that you
miss your old car.
387
00:20:21,653 --> 00:20:25,524
Hey, it's all right.
What's done is done, huh?
388
00:20:25,624 --> 00:20:28,660
{\an8}Well, we could
take her for
one last spin.
389
00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:29,928
{\an8}How's that?
390
00:20:30,028 --> 00:20:32,497
{\an8}You never gave
Kenny the extra key.
391
00:20:34,633 --> 00:20:36,535
{\an8}(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
392
00:20:36,635 --> 00:20:39,438
{\an8}EDDIE: I gotta tell you,
it feels good to be back.
393
00:20:39,538 --> 00:20:41,340
{\an8}You don't think we should
have told Kenny
what we did, huh?
394
00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:44,643
{\an8}It's all right. We'll
have her back before he
even knows she's gone.
395
00:20:45,811 --> 00:20:47,813
{\an8}(POLICE SIREN WAILING)
396
00:20:49,348 --> 00:20:51,617
{\an8}(SIGHS)
397
00:20:51,717 --> 00:20:53,852
{\an8}Should I pull over
or do you want to
be on the news?
32672
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