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1
00:00:01,501 --> 00:00:04,170
(JINGLE PLAYING)
2
00:00:20,787 --> 00:00:23,757
{\an8}STEPH: 'Til Death
is filmed in front of
a live studio audience.
3
00:00:26,326 --> 00:00:29,529
{\an8}MAN ON SCREEN:
We, the jury,
find the defendant
4
00:00:29,629 --> 00:00:30,964
{\an8}guilty as charged.
5
00:00:31,064 --> 00:00:32,632
{\an8}(GAVEL BANGING)
6
00:00:32,732 --> 00:00:35,802
{\an8}WOMAN ON SCREEN: He didn't
do it! Please don't
take my husband from me.
7
00:00:35,902 --> 00:00:38,905
{\an8}(SLURPING)
8
00:00:39,005 --> 00:00:40,874
{\an8}MAN: I just wanna
hug my son
one last time.
9
00:00:40,974 --> 00:00:42,876
{\an8}Do you have
any more soda in there?
10
00:00:44,511 --> 00:00:46,646
{\an8}BOY ON SCREEN: Where are
they taking Daddy?
11
00:00:46,746 --> 00:00:48,748
{\an8}What is this, diet?
12
00:00:48,848 --> 00:00:50,750
{\an8}JUDGE: Order in
the court!
13
00:00:50,850 --> 00:00:52,752
{\an8}Bailiff, remove
the prisoner from
the courtroom.
14
00:00:52,852 --> 00:00:54,988
{\an8}I know that
judge's voice
from somewhere.
15
00:00:55,088 --> 00:00:56,189
{\an8}Like a commercial
or something.
16
00:00:56,289 --> 00:00:57,457
{\an8}(SHUSHING)
17
00:00:59,159 --> 00:01:00,860
{\an8}WOMAN: I'll wait for you.
18
00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:04,097
{\an8}This is killing me.
I know him.
19
00:01:04,197 --> 00:01:06,132
{\an8}The guy from the
phone commercial.
20
00:01:06,232 --> 00:01:10,003
{\an8}"Are you satisfied with your
long distance carrier?"
21
00:01:10,103 --> 00:01:12,305
{\an8}And now he's doing this,
huh? Good for him.
22
00:01:12,405 --> 00:01:13,773
{\an8}(CRYING)
23
00:01:13,873 --> 00:01:17,143
{\an8}MAN: Tell my son his daddy
was a good man.
24
00:01:17,243 --> 00:01:18,344
{\an8}(CRYING)
25
00:01:18,445 --> 00:01:19,679
{\an8}(CLEARING THROAT)
26
00:01:21,281 --> 00:01:23,650
{\an8}(HAWKING)
27
00:01:26,753 --> 00:01:30,023
{\an8}BOY: Daddy,
Daddy, don't go.
28
00:01:34,394 --> 00:01:35,829
Hey, I gotta tell you,
29
00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:38,231
ever since my
chiropractor told me
not to sit on my wallet,
30
00:01:38,331 --> 00:01:40,934
I have no numbness
in my keister.
31
00:01:41,034 --> 00:01:43,103
All right,
let's hit it.
32
00:01:45,171 --> 00:01:48,541
Hey, Joy, can you just
tell me what I did wrong?
33
00:01:48,641 --> 00:01:51,778
I don't know, Eddie.
Why don't you tell me
what you did wrong?
34
00:01:51,878 --> 00:01:54,647
Is it because I was
checking out the cleavage
on the ticket girl?
35
00:01:54,747 --> 00:01:55,882
Because it
wasn't my fault.
36
00:01:55,982 --> 00:01:58,818
She was just exploding
out of that red blazer.
37
00:01:58,918 --> 00:02:01,955
You checked out
the ticket girl?
38
00:02:02,055 --> 00:02:04,791
See, this is why
I don't like guessing.
39
00:02:04,891 --> 00:02:06,793
Okay, you know what,
fine, I will tell you.
40
00:02:06,893 --> 00:02:09,062
I was trying to
enjoy that movie,
but I couldn't
41
00:02:09,162 --> 00:02:12,432
because at every
emotional moment,
all I could hear was,
42
00:02:12,532 --> 00:02:14,234
(IN DEEP VOICE)
"Joy, Joy. Joy, Joy.
43
00:02:14,334 --> 00:02:18,338
"Isn't that the guy
from the English
muffin commercial?"
44
00:02:18,438 --> 00:02:21,508
Tell you something,
you were enjoying
yourself just fine.
45
00:02:21,608 --> 00:02:23,676
(IMITATING JOY CRYING)
46
00:02:27,247 --> 00:02:29,816
I mean, what
the hell is that?
47
00:02:29,916 --> 00:02:31,484
I wasn't the only one
crying, you know?
48
00:02:31,584 --> 00:02:33,253
There wasn't a dry eye
in that theater
49
00:02:33,353 --> 00:02:35,722
except for the two
in your gigantic head.
50
00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:39,325
Oh, please, let me
tell you something.
Crying is a scam.
51
00:02:39,425 --> 00:02:42,428
It's a bogus emotion
created by the
tissue industry,
52
00:02:42,529 --> 00:02:46,499
so they can make a quick
buck and you're falling for
it hook, line and sinker.
53
00:02:46,599 --> 00:02:51,037
That woman was
ripped from her husband
while holding her baby.
54
00:02:51,137 --> 00:02:52,705
Did that not
affect you at all?
55
00:02:52,805 --> 00:02:56,676
No, because it wasn't
really happening!
56
00:02:56,776 --> 00:02:58,945
It's make believe!
57
00:03:00,914 --> 00:03:03,383
Whatever.
At least I'm capable
of feeling emotion.
58
00:03:03,483 --> 00:03:06,619
I feel emotion.
Just not about
stupid movies.
59
00:03:06,719 --> 00:03:09,589
This isn't just about
the movie. This is about
important stuff, too.
60
00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:13,059
You would rather
make a joke or
a snarky comment
61
00:03:13,159 --> 00:03:15,495
than give in
to a moment of
honest feeling.
62
00:03:15,595 --> 00:03:17,997
I'm beginning to think
you have a real problem
with this, buddy.
63
00:03:18,097 --> 00:03:19,666
I do not
have a problem.
64
00:03:19,766 --> 00:03:22,168
All right, you know what?
I have been thinking
about this for a while now.
65
00:03:22,268 --> 00:03:24,070
You know my friend
Roberta, down the street?
66
00:03:25,305 --> 00:03:27,640
You know I don't.
67
00:03:27,740 --> 00:03:30,343
She and her husband
went to this
weekend retreat...
68
00:03:30,443 --> 00:03:32,545
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I'm gonna stop you
right there.
69
00:03:32,645 --> 00:03:34,714
No, Eddie, hear
me out on this.
70
00:03:34,814 --> 00:03:38,151
It's called the
Living, Loving,
Sharing Workshop.
71
00:03:38,251 --> 00:03:42,388
Okay, look.
If I cry right now
can we end this?
72
00:03:42,488 --> 00:03:45,058
Let's go, just knee
me in the groin.
73
00:03:46,926 --> 00:03:48,828
Eddie, we can
do this together.
74
00:03:48,928 --> 00:03:51,030
You can get a little more
in touch with yourself.
75
00:03:51,130 --> 00:03:52,665
We can work on
our relationship.
76
00:03:52,765 --> 00:03:55,201
I'm happy with
our relationship
the way it is, Joy.
77
00:03:55,301 --> 00:03:57,070
I like our
relationship, too,
78
00:03:57,170 --> 00:03:59,806
but don't you
want to make our
marriage better?
79
00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:03,009
Just seems like
a lot of work.
80
00:04:05,144 --> 00:04:07,647
Don't you think that
we've earned the right
81
00:04:07,747 --> 00:04:09,616
to take our foot off
the accelerator
82
00:04:09,716 --> 00:04:12,352
and just coast
to the end of this thing?
83
00:04:18,524 --> 00:04:21,728
So, because I didn't
cry at this stupid movie,
she's all pissed at me.
84
00:04:21,828 --> 00:04:23,396
Really? What
was it about?
85
00:04:23,496 --> 00:04:25,064
I don't know,
it's about this guy,
86
00:04:25,164 --> 00:04:26,566
he marries his
high school sweetheart,
87
00:04:26,666 --> 00:04:28,735
and then he ends up getting
thrown in jail for life
88
00:04:28,835 --> 00:04:30,803
for a crime
he didn't even commit.
89
00:04:30,903 --> 00:04:33,339
So, now you have this
innocent man who's being
dragged away from his wife
90
00:04:33,439 --> 00:04:37,143
and then he realizes
he won't be able to see
his little boy grow up.
91
00:04:41,614 --> 00:04:45,585
I'm sorry, are you
crying at the recap
of the movie I saw?
92
00:04:45,685 --> 00:04:47,720
You know, just 'cause I'm
a little emotional right now,
93
00:04:47,820 --> 00:04:49,055
it doesn't mean
I'm not a man.
94
00:04:49,155 --> 00:04:51,357
It kind of does.
95
00:04:51,457 --> 00:04:54,260
You know what,
I am very confident
in my masculinity.
96
00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:55,928
Oh, great. Yeah,
you and your braided belt
97
00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:58,765
are really kicking
the world's ass.
98
00:04:58,865 --> 00:05:00,099
Can you believe
this guy?
99
00:05:00,199 --> 00:05:01,301
I've been known
to shed a tear or two.
100
00:05:01,401 --> 00:05:02,835
Really?
101
00:05:02,935 --> 00:05:04,470
What, you think I'm a robot?
I got no feelings?
102
00:05:04,570 --> 00:05:07,440
No. It's just that
I don't cry.
103
00:05:07,540 --> 00:05:10,410
What are you, a robot?
You got no feelings?
104
00:05:10,510 --> 00:05:12,011
Oh, all right, you know,
this is ridiculous.
105
00:05:12,111 --> 00:05:15,181
I'm gonna put an end to it.
Hey, Big Sammy, get
your fat ass over here.
106
00:05:15,281 --> 00:05:17,216
What's the problem, Eddie?
107
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:19,252
Well, I'm trying to
get a man's opinion
at this restaurant
108
00:05:19,352 --> 00:05:20,820
and I couldn't
find one at my table.
109
00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:22,689
So, I thought maybe you could
set the record straight
110
00:05:22,789 --> 00:05:26,893
and let these guys
know that real men
like us don't cry.
111
00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:28,494
I'm a woman.
112
00:05:35,668 --> 00:05:37,503
Really?
113
00:05:37,603 --> 00:05:40,006
It says "Samantha"
right here on my nametag.
114
00:05:40,106 --> 00:05:42,442
Oh. Wow.
I'll be damned.
115
00:05:43,242 --> 00:05:45,144
(LAUGHS)
116
00:05:45,244 --> 00:05:47,947
I'm just thinking of all
those times I always asked
you how they're hanging.
117
00:05:49,449 --> 00:05:52,251
I thought you were
talking about my breasts.
118
00:05:59,225 --> 00:06:00,360
It's a woman!
119
00:06:06,132 --> 00:06:07,967
{\an5}Hey.
Hey, hon,
how was work?
120
00:06:08,067 --> 00:06:11,504
It was great.
How was
121
00:06:11,604 --> 00:06:13,473
waiting for me to come
home from work?
122
00:06:15,408 --> 00:06:16,943
Pretty rough.
123
00:06:18,411 --> 00:06:22,081
I napped all day,
and yet I'm still tired.
124
00:06:22,181 --> 00:06:23,683
Isn't it weird
when that happens?
125
00:06:25,618 --> 00:06:27,420
So, how's
the outside world?
126
00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:30,723
What are people who got
dressed today talking about?
127
00:06:30,823 --> 00:06:36,028
Well, at lunch today,
Eddie was talking about
how he doesn't cry.
128
00:06:36,129 --> 00:06:38,464
Not Mr. Emotional,
that one.
129
00:06:38,564 --> 00:06:41,033
Guess that's not
something you gotta
worry about, huh?
130
00:06:41,134 --> 00:06:43,736
No, I sure don't.
131
00:06:46,773 --> 00:06:49,675
That sounded like
you got some sort of
problem with me crying.
132
00:06:53,946 --> 00:06:56,883
Hey, hey, do you
have some sort of
problem with me crying?
133
00:06:59,352 --> 00:07:00,920
Here's the thing, sweetie.
134
00:07:02,221 --> 00:07:04,891
When a woman sees her
man getting emotional,
135
00:07:04,991 --> 00:07:11,030
she wants to be like,
"Oh, my God, I can't believe
my husband is crying."
136
00:07:11,130 --> 00:07:15,835
Not, "Oh, my God,
I can't believe
my husband is crying
137
00:07:17,003 --> 00:07:20,373
"again."
138
00:07:20,473 --> 00:07:23,743
Steph, if you really
felt this way, why didn't
you say something sooner?
139
00:07:23,843 --> 00:07:25,278
Honestly?
140
00:07:27,246 --> 00:07:29,682
I thought I would
make you cry.
141
00:07:38,791 --> 00:07:41,027
Joy, did you know
that Big Sammy at the
cheese steak place was...
142
00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:42,628
A woman? Yeah.
143
00:07:43,796 --> 00:07:47,200
Huh? I am late
to this party.
144
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:48,701
So, what you doing
there, my lady?
145
00:07:48,801 --> 00:07:50,236
Sit. Shut.
146
00:07:51,571 --> 00:07:53,840
I have put together
a little film festival
147
00:07:53,940 --> 00:07:56,142
featuring important
moments from our life,
148
00:07:56,242 --> 00:07:58,544
that will confirm
the fact that you are,
149
00:07:58,644 --> 00:08:01,581
and always have been,
an emotionless jackass.
150
00:08:02,715 --> 00:08:04,517
Exhibit A,
our wedding.
151
00:08:04,617 --> 00:08:05,818
(CLEARS THROAT)
152
00:08:05,918 --> 00:08:07,653
Okay, here we go.
153
00:08:07,753 --> 00:08:09,121
(SENTIMENTAL
INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)
154
00:08:09,222 --> 00:08:10,656
Damn, I look hot.
155
00:08:10,756 --> 00:08:13,559
I do, too.
I'm delicious.
156
00:08:13,659 --> 00:08:18,764
JOY ON TAPE: (CRYING)
The vows I make to you now,
I started a long time ago.
157
00:08:18,865 --> 00:08:20,766
(SOBBING)
158
00:08:20,867 --> 00:08:24,237
Today, I just promise
to keep them forever.
159
00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:27,907
EDDIE ON TAPE: Whoa,
someone hit the open
bar a little early.
160
00:08:32,144 --> 00:08:33,346
What?
161
00:08:33,446 --> 00:08:34,847
Can't you see that I am
bawling up there?
162
00:08:34,947 --> 00:08:36,449
And you're
feeling nothing.
163
00:08:36,549 --> 00:08:38,851
Well, excuse me
for not crying
at our wedding.
164
00:08:38,951 --> 00:08:41,354
It's just that
the true sadness
of that day
165
00:08:41,454 --> 00:08:43,856
didn't hit me
until right now.
166
00:08:45,458 --> 00:08:50,129
Okay.
And now, another
Eddie Stark classic.
167
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:55,902
DOCTOR ON TAPE:
It's a girl.
168
00:08:56,002 --> 00:08:57,970
JOY ON TAPE: (CRYING)
She's so beautiful.
169
00:08:58,070 --> 00:08:59,005
(ALLISON CRYING)
170
00:08:59,105 --> 00:09:01,274
JOY:
I love her so much.
171
00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:04,977
DOCTOR: Mr. Stark,
would you like to
cut the umbilical cord?
172
00:09:05,077 --> 00:09:06,245
EDDIE: Hey,
don't mind if I do, Doc.
173
00:09:06,345 --> 00:09:08,147
Now, when I do this,
she's not gonna deflate
174
00:09:08,247 --> 00:09:10,516
and fly around the room
like a balloon, is she?
175
00:09:10,616 --> 00:09:12,618
(EDDIE IMITATES
AIR ESCAPING FROM A BALLOON)
176
00:09:15,721 --> 00:09:17,323
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
177
00:09:17,423 --> 00:09:19,659
Hey.
Hey, Kenny.
178
00:09:20,660 --> 00:09:22,562
What are you guys
watching? Aliens?
179
00:09:24,830 --> 00:09:27,533
No, that would
be the birth
of our daughter.
180
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:34,340
Ready to roll, big man?
181
00:09:35,207 --> 00:09:36,676
Where are we going?
182
00:09:36,776 --> 00:09:38,678
Today's Saturday,
you take me
for ice cream.
183
00:09:38,778 --> 00:09:40,913
Oh, yeah. You know,
I'm sorry, Kenny,
184
00:09:41,013 --> 00:09:43,215
I'm just not
in the mood today.
185
00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:44,984
Not in the mood
for ice cream?
186
00:09:45,084 --> 00:09:47,587
What's wrong,
sad clown?
187
00:09:47,687 --> 00:09:50,222
We've just unequivocally
proven that
188
00:09:51,691 --> 00:09:54,193
I have no feelings
whatsoever.
189
00:09:54,293 --> 00:09:57,663
No, you feel very deeply.
You just keep it
all bottled up inside.
190
00:09:57,763 --> 00:10:01,801
You just need
to peel off that
tough hairy pelt,
191
00:10:01,901 --> 00:10:05,404
and get to the fragile little
boy that's inside of you.
192
00:10:05,504 --> 00:10:08,174
Come on, big man,
let me peel off that pelt.
193
00:10:10,142 --> 00:10:12,111
We're gonna
leave the pelt.
194
00:10:15,214 --> 00:10:17,116
What, you think
I can't do it?
195
00:10:17,216 --> 00:10:18,517
I'll make you cry.
196
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:19,785
I'll make you
cry right now.
197
00:10:19,885 --> 00:10:23,489
I came this close
to getting Montel's job.
198
00:10:23,589 --> 00:10:25,958
Come on, big man,
we gotta get you
somewhere sad,
199
00:10:26,058 --> 00:10:28,294
a sad place,
a sad memory.
200
00:10:29,562 --> 00:10:31,097
Your parents
still alive?
201
00:10:31,197 --> 00:10:32,565
Sadly, yes.
202
00:10:34,734 --> 00:10:38,571
Anybody close
to you die in an
untimely fashion?
203
00:10:38,671 --> 00:10:41,707
Well, I did have a
second cousin who died.
204
00:10:41,807 --> 00:10:44,977
Good. That's terrible.
What happened?
205
00:10:45,077 --> 00:10:46,646
He choked
on a rib eye.
206
00:10:46,746 --> 00:10:48,014
And how does that
make you feel?
207
00:10:48,114 --> 00:10:51,250
Well, it makes me feel like
carefully eating a rib eye.
208
00:10:54,220 --> 00:10:56,555
How about
childhood?
209
00:10:56,656 --> 00:11:00,026
Did kids make fun of you?
Any hurtful nicknames?
210
00:11:00,126 --> 00:11:02,495
Well, I was
teased quite a bit.
211
00:11:02,595 --> 00:11:04,397
About your moles?
212
00:11:05,698 --> 00:11:08,067
{\an5}No.
Your uneven
eyebrows?
213
00:11:08,167 --> 00:11:10,269
What? No.
214
00:11:10,369 --> 00:11:12,805
The way your bottom
teeth are a lot bigger
than your top teeth?
215
00:11:12,905 --> 00:11:16,475
I was tall.
I was freakishly tall.
216
00:11:16,575 --> 00:11:19,145
Mmm-hmm. And what did
the kids call you?
217
00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:21,814
Buttface.
218
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:23,816
Buttface?
219
00:11:23,916 --> 00:11:26,886
And what does
that have to do
with being tall?
220
00:11:26,986 --> 00:11:29,121
I brought that to their
attention, but they
didn't seem to care.
221
00:11:29,221 --> 00:11:32,358
They were pretty
locked in on Buttface.
222
00:11:32,458 --> 00:11:34,527
Okay, okay, we're getting
somewhere now, okay.
223
00:11:34,627 --> 00:11:36,395
Now I want you
to take me back
224
00:11:36,495 --> 00:11:39,298
to the first time
that they called you
225
00:11:39,398 --> 00:11:40,966
little tooth Buttface.
226
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:46,706
It was just Buttface.
227
00:11:46,806 --> 00:11:48,874
I'm sorry, go ahead,
go ahead.
228
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,745
All right, I was
on the playground,
229
00:11:52,845 --> 00:11:54,380
and the other kids
were on the swings,
230
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:56,949
and I was
kind of sitting alone.
231
00:11:57,049 --> 00:11:58,150
You were all alone?
232
00:11:58,250 --> 00:12:00,052
Yeah.
233
00:12:00,152 --> 00:12:03,089
I wasn't allowed on the
swings, the teacher said that
my dragging feet
234
00:12:03,189 --> 00:12:07,059
carved dangerous trenches
that imperiled
the safety of the,
235
00:12:07,159 --> 00:12:09,862
and I'm quoting,
"Normal children."
236
00:12:10,696 --> 00:12:12,531
That's messed up.
237
00:12:12,631 --> 00:12:13,566
So then
what happened?
238
00:12:13,666 --> 00:12:16,001
I was feeling
kind of bad,
239
00:12:16,102 --> 00:12:20,573
and this girl,
Charlotte Skrovan,
came over to me.
240
00:12:20,673 --> 00:12:23,476
Kind of had a little crush
on her, I thought she
was going to ask me to play,
241
00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:26,112
but instead she
called me Buttface.
242
00:12:26,212 --> 00:12:30,683
Then she pointed out that
one of my nuggets was
hanging out of my shorts.
243
00:12:31,383 --> 00:12:34,320
Oh, snap!
244
00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:37,223
From that day on,
nothing was the same.
245
00:12:40,459 --> 00:12:43,562
Are you feeling
it now, big man? Huh?
246
00:12:43,662 --> 00:12:45,998
Is it coming
out of you now?
247
00:12:46,098 --> 00:12:49,635
Is it boiling up inside
of you and coming out?
248
00:12:49,735 --> 00:12:52,304
Is it coming
out of you now?
249
00:12:52,404 --> 00:12:54,673
Sorry, Montel,
I got nothing.
250
00:13:03,349 --> 00:13:05,151
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
251
00:13:09,188 --> 00:13:11,724
Babe, I want to
thank you for coming
up here this weekend.
252
00:13:11,824 --> 00:13:14,293
I think it's going to be
great for you, and it's
going to be great for us.
253
00:13:14,393 --> 00:13:16,328
Yeah, yeah, sure.
I'm just a little uncertain
254
00:13:16,428 --> 00:13:18,864
as to why I'm wearing
a linen sundress.
255
00:13:22,601 --> 00:13:24,003
Intimacy.
256
00:13:27,039 --> 00:13:29,408
Let's break
that word down,
shall we?
257
00:13:30,376 --> 00:13:32,912
Into me I see.
258
00:13:34,747 --> 00:13:38,884
This workshop is about
becoming more intimate with
yourself, your emotions,
259
00:13:38,984 --> 00:13:42,221
so that you can then become
intimate with others.
260
00:13:42,321 --> 00:13:44,890
Hi. I am
Dr. Connie Friedman,
261
00:13:44,990 --> 00:13:49,395
and this is my partner
and lover,
Beatrice Feldman-Friedman.
262
00:13:52,097 --> 00:13:53,566
I see that some
of you are surprised
263
00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:56,669
that I have taken a lover
20 years my senior.
264
00:13:56,769 --> 00:14:01,373
But age is no
obstacle when true
intimacy is achieved.
265
00:14:01,473 --> 00:14:05,177
It's all here in my book,
Intimacy Achieved,
266
00:14:05,277 --> 00:14:08,614
and it's companion
piece, Intimacy Achieved:
The Workbook.
267
00:14:09,882 --> 00:14:12,451
On sale today,
$20 for the book,
268
00:14:12,551 --> 00:14:16,088
18 for the workbook.
And, one time only,
269
00:14:16,188 --> 00:14:19,758
38 bucks for
the whole shebang.
270
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:26,465
And now, let us all get
connected with our inner
shocktabashkas.
271
00:14:32,404 --> 00:14:35,374
In order to learn
how to express our
innermost feelings,
272
00:14:35,474 --> 00:14:38,244
I'm going to ask you
to attempt to communicate
273
00:14:38,344 --> 00:14:41,614
without the
crutch of language.
274
00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:44,483
We swear by
this technique,
Beatrice and I.
275
00:14:46,418 --> 00:14:49,154
We don't use
words on Sunday.
276
00:14:49,255 --> 00:14:50,656
(IMITATES CAT PURRING)
277
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:55,361
And now, I want you
to have an exchange
with your partner
278
00:14:55,461 --> 00:14:58,697
using only
primal sounds.
279
00:14:58,797 --> 00:15:01,467
Excuse me, how will we
know what the
conversation is about?
280
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:03,936
Indeed.
281
00:15:04,837 --> 00:15:07,106
And begin.
282
00:15:12,945 --> 00:15:14,847
(MAKING GUTTURAL NOISES)
283
00:15:17,216 --> 00:15:19,118
(MAKING GUTTURAL NOISES)
284
00:15:57,022 --> 00:15:59,258
In order to
truly communicate
as a couple,
285
00:15:59,358 --> 00:16:03,562
you need to literally
be able to complete
each other's sentences.
286
00:16:03,662 --> 00:16:06,265
I want you to
take turns saying
one word at a time,
287
00:16:06,365 --> 00:16:10,135
together forming
one sentence, one thought,
one unified story
288
00:16:10,235 --> 00:16:12,604
and connect.
289
00:16:16,875 --> 00:16:18,077
I...
290
00:16:19,445 --> 00:16:21,413
...steak...
291
00:16:21,513 --> 00:16:23,549
What kind of sentence
is that? "I steak"?
292
00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:24,783
That's never going
to be a sentence.
293
00:16:24,883 --> 00:16:26,552
Okay, I'm sorry.
Try again.
294
00:16:26,652 --> 00:16:27,753
Okay.
295
00:16:29,688 --> 00:16:30,689
I...
296
00:16:31,457 --> 00:16:32,758
...sandwich...
297
00:16:34,026 --> 00:16:36,695
Look, I'm sorry.
They gave us
298
00:16:36,795 --> 00:16:40,299
a glorified snack
for lunch,
I'm starving here.
299
00:16:41,467 --> 00:16:42,868
He's just getting
warmed up.
300
00:16:42,968 --> 00:16:45,804
We are just
about to hit
our stride here.
301
00:16:45,904 --> 00:16:48,073
Honey, why
don't you start?
302
00:16:48,173 --> 00:16:49,775
Okay.
Okay.
303
00:16:52,077 --> 00:16:54,213
Me...
304
00:16:54,313 --> 00:16:57,216
Eddie, what sentence
begins with "me"?
305
00:17:01,186 --> 00:17:06,425
Me Tarzan, you Joy.
306
00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:08,627
Ah?
307
00:17:15,067 --> 00:17:16,235
Hey, Rich, Linda.
308
00:17:16,335 --> 00:17:18,237
I wanted to tell you
how moved I was
309
00:17:18,337 --> 00:17:21,907
by your dance of
unspoken secrets.
Oh, it was great.
310
00:17:26,645 --> 00:17:28,914
Hey, Beatrice.
How you doing?
311
00:17:32,184 --> 00:17:33,752
Okay.
312
00:17:36,555 --> 00:17:38,690
Dr. Friedman,
I just wanna tell you,
313
00:17:38,791 --> 00:17:41,293
my husband and I
are getting
so much out of this.
314
00:17:41,393 --> 00:17:44,329
We appreciate all you do,
and we can't wait to
just dive into...
315
00:17:44,430 --> 00:17:46,098
You know what?
I'm on a break.
316
00:17:49,868 --> 00:17:53,072
I gotta tell you,
my weirdo meter is at 11.
317
00:17:53,172 --> 00:17:55,541
You've just got to relax,
trust the process.
318
00:17:55,641 --> 00:17:57,376
Yeah?
Yeah.
319
00:17:57,476 --> 00:18:02,815
Well, I'm pretty sure that
Beatrice is drugged and
being held against her will.
320
00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:07,719
And so, I guess
I realized that
I cannot cry.
321
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:10,889
I mean, I know
I have feelings,
322
00:18:10,989 --> 00:18:14,827
I just think that
they're, you know,
deep inside.
323
00:18:17,596 --> 00:18:20,065
Are you proud of
your husband for
admitting that?
324
00:18:20,165 --> 00:18:21,834
I am.
325
00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:24,703
And do you realize this
is entirely your fault?
326
00:18:27,339 --> 00:18:28,507
I'm sorry, what?
327
00:18:28,607 --> 00:18:30,309
You have clearly
failed to create
328
00:18:30,409 --> 00:18:32,744
a safe space
for your spouse.
329
00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:40,452
You are clearly able
to cry in front of him
330
00:18:40,552 --> 00:18:42,121
because he has created
a safe space for you,
331
00:18:42,221 --> 00:18:44,523
but you have not
returned the favor.
332
00:18:44,623 --> 00:18:47,192
I think it is time for
you to have a seat
333
00:18:47,292 --> 00:18:49,928
on the ball of culpability.
Beatrice.
334
00:18:50,028 --> 00:18:51,997
I'm not sitting on
your damn sweaty ball.
335
00:18:57,636 --> 00:19:00,239
I think now would be
the perfect time for all
the couples in the room
336
00:19:00,339 --> 00:19:02,441
to reestablish intimacy
337
00:19:02,541 --> 00:19:07,379
by sharing in a
sustained, passionate,
open-mouthed kiss.
338
00:19:09,314 --> 00:19:12,951
Very wide,
drop the jaw, and go.
339
00:19:21,894 --> 00:19:25,564
Obviously, you two
are not connected at all.
340
00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:28,967
What happened?
Why? Why are you
both so broken?
341
00:19:30,969 --> 00:19:36,942
Broken? I think
we're doing just fine,
Miss Shastabackas Zulu.
342
00:19:37,042 --> 00:19:40,279
We don't have to suck
face in public to prove
anything to you people.
343
00:19:40,379 --> 00:19:42,748
That's right, you want
to see unhappy?
344
00:19:42,848 --> 00:19:45,384
Why don't you just look
into Beatrice's dead eyes?
345
00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:50,455
My husband and I
are plenty connected.
346
00:19:50,556 --> 00:19:52,157
Plenty.
347
00:19:52,257 --> 00:19:53,358
Plenty.
348
00:19:53,458 --> 00:19:55,994
Watch this.
Honey, please,
if you would.
349
00:19:56,094 --> 00:19:56,995
Come here.
350
00:19:58,330 --> 00:19:59,464
(INAUDIBLE)
351
00:20:00,165 --> 00:20:02,201
I...
352
00:20:02,301 --> 00:20:03,769
...love...
353
00:20:03,869 --> 00:20:05,671
...you...
354
00:20:05,771 --> 00:20:06,872
...the...
355
00:20:06,972 --> 00:20:08,407
...way...
356
00:20:08,507 --> 00:20:09,841
...you...
357
00:20:09,942 --> 00:20:11,410
...are.
358
00:20:12,311 --> 00:20:13,545
This...
359
00:20:13,645 --> 00:20:14,646
...is...
360
00:20:14,746 --> 00:20:15,948
...a...
361
00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:17,115
...load...
362
00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:18,016
...of...
363
00:20:18,116 --> 00:20:19,484
...crap.
364
00:20:19,585 --> 00:20:20,819
Let's...
...get...
365
00:20:20,919 --> 00:20:22,421
...the...
...hell...
366
00:20:22,521 --> 00:20:23,488
...out...
...of...
367
00:20:23,589 --> 00:20:25,357
...here...
...and...
368
00:20:25,457 --> 00:20:26,491
...get...
369
00:20:26,592 --> 00:20:27,859
...ham...
370
00:20:28,727 --> 00:20:29,928
...mered...
371
00:20:31,263 --> 00:20:32,431
...and...
372
00:20:33,432 --> 00:20:34,700
...ham.
373
00:20:46,445 --> 00:20:48,513
(CALCULATOR WHIRRING)
374
00:20:59,858 --> 00:21:00,959
{\an8}Beatrice.
375
00:21:01,893 --> 00:21:03,061
{\an8}I sold 20 books today,
376
00:21:03,161 --> 00:21:05,464
{\an8}but I'm only counting
the money for 19.
377
00:21:07,532 --> 00:21:10,302
{\an8}Are you trying to buy
a bus ticket again?
378
00:21:14,172 --> 00:21:15,974
{\an8}Good girl.
379
00:21:16,074 --> 00:21:19,077
{\an8}Pack the cushions in
the van, we've gotta
be in Jersey by dawn.
30763
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