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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,934 --> 00:00:02,035 (JINGLE PLAYING) 2 00:00:28,962 --> 00:00:32,799 EDDIE: 'Til Death is filmed in front of a live studio audience. 3 00:00:41,674 --> 00:00:43,343 {\an8}(KNOCKING ON DOOR) 4 00:00:44,344 --> 00:00:45,578 {\an8}(SIGHS) 5 00:00:56,289 --> 00:00:57,690 {\an8}Hi, guys. BOTH: Hi. 6 00:00:57,757 --> 00:00:59,125 {\an8}No, thanks. 7 00:01:00,593 --> 00:01:01,694 {\an8}No thanks to what? 8 00:01:01,761 --> 00:01:04,130 {\an8}Whatever you're offering. 9 00:01:04,197 --> 00:01:08,668 {\an8}Hiking, biking, that crazy Frisbee game you're always freaking out about. 10 00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:11,337 {\an8}No, Joy, the thing is, our cable's out 11 00:01:11,404 --> 00:01:13,773 {\an8}and there's a really awesome tennis match on TV 12 00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:15,975 {\an8}so I was wondering if we could maybe watch it here? 13 00:01:16,042 --> 00:01:18,111 {\an8}Uh, yeah, no. No. 14 00:01:18,178 --> 00:01:22,282 {\an8}My favorite religious cartoon is about to begin. 15 00:01:22,348 --> 00:01:24,150 {\an8}You know the one with the little wooden boy 16 00:01:24,217 --> 00:01:26,853 {\an8}and the talking squirrel, that is Jesus, so, you'll understand... 17 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,721 {\an8}Come on, Jeff, let's just go watch it at a sports bar. 18 00:01:28,788 --> 00:01:30,156 {\an8}Yes, a sports bar. 19 00:01:30,223 --> 00:01:33,359 {\an8}Sweetie, it's a Sunday in Philadelphia during football season. 20 00:01:33,426 --> 00:01:34,561 {\an8}If I ask them to turn on tennis, 21 00:01:34,627 --> 00:01:37,564 {\an8}even your tae kwon do can't save us. 22 00:01:37,630 --> 00:01:38,898 {\an8}(SIGHING) Okay, come in. 23 00:01:38,965 --> 00:01:40,100 {\an8}Ah, thank you! 24 00:01:40,166 --> 00:01:41,534 But just so you know, Eddie's on his way down 25 00:01:41,601 --> 00:01:45,238 and there's an 80% chance he'll be wearing only a t-shirt. 26 00:01:47,540 --> 00:01:48,775 What the hell's wrong with you? 27 00:01:48,842 --> 00:01:50,443 Ah, it's my back. 28 00:01:50,510 --> 00:01:53,813 I sneezed while peeing and everything just went nuts. 29 00:01:59,152 --> 00:02:01,421 By the way, there's also a couple of hand towels up there 30 00:02:01,488 --> 00:02:04,224 that are gonna have to be thrown away. 31 00:02:05,658 --> 00:02:07,360 Come on, Eddie, not your back again. 32 00:02:07,427 --> 00:02:08,728 Oh, that's nice, that's nice. 33 00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:10,096 No, seriously, every time this happens 34 00:02:10,163 --> 00:02:11,998 you refuse to go to a doctor, and then... 35 00:02:12,065 --> 00:02:15,301 Why do I have to see a doctor when I have all the doctor I need 36 00:02:15,368 --> 00:02:19,038 {\an5}in a nice little white tube of the very healing that... No, don't say it. Don't! 37 00:02:19,105 --> 00:02:20,340 Bengay. 38 00:02:22,075 --> 00:02:24,444 That's right. You heard me, the king of ointments. 39 00:02:24,511 --> 00:02:28,281 If you know Mr. Gay you don't need to know anyone else. 40 00:02:28,348 --> 00:02:31,151 You know, Eddie, there might be another solution. 41 00:02:31,217 --> 00:02:33,253 Have you tried yoga? 42 00:02:33,319 --> 00:02:37,423 Oh, I'd love to, but it always conflicts with my tap-dancing class. 43 00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:39,626 Okay, what you're gonna wanna do is, 44 00:02:39,692 --> 00:02:43,997 breathe in, arms up, and hinge. 45 00:02:45,398 --> 00:02:49,335 Okay, the good Lord didn't build me to hinge. 46 00:02:49,402 --> 00:02:51,104 Come on, Eddie. Just hinge. 47 00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:52,172 (SIGHING) 48 00:02:52,238 --> 00:02:53,840 Just... Just hinge! 49 00:02:53,907 --> 00:02:55,408 You can do it, Eddie, I've seen you hinge. 50 00:02:55,475 --> 00:02:57,277 Eddie. Eddie, hinge. STEPH: Just hinge! 51 00:02:57,343 --> 00:02:59,479 {\an5}Hinge! JOY: Like a door. Go ahead, hinge. 52 00:02:59,546 --> 00:03:00,613 Right over. Hinge. 53 00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:03,049 Go, push him over. Breathe and hinge! 54 00:03:03,116 --> 00:03:04,517 (EXCLAIMING) 55 00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:08,521 Eddie? 56 00:03:08,588 --> 00:03:09,956 (GRUNTING) 57 00:03:11,157 --> 00:03:12,458 I hinged! 58 00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:16,563 Au revoir, Mr. Gay. It's been a nice ride. 59 00:03:21,067 --> 00:03:23,603 You think that felt good. Hey, babe, do that thing to his feet. 60 00:03:23,670 --> 00:03:26,005 Oh, right, yeah! Eddie, take off your slippers. 61 00:03:26,072 --> 00:03:28,141 No, whoa! Whoa, whoa! 62 00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:30,210 You do not want to see this man's bare feet! 63 00:03:30,276 --> 00:03:31,611 I'm sure they're fine. 64 00:03:31,678 --> 00:03:33,179 No. No, they're not. 65 00:03:33,246 --> 00:03:36,249 He's the reason people buy their own bowling shoes. 66 00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:55,602 Oh, dear God! 67 00:03:55,668 --> 00:03:58,871 It's been so long since someone's touched me there. 68 00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:03,610 That's so sad. 69 00:04:03,676 --> 00:04:06,112 I give Jeff foot massages all the time. 70 00:04:06,179 --> 00:04:07,547 Yeah? Talk to me in 20 years. 71 00:04:07,614 --> 00:04:11,217 If you're rubbing anything of his, I'll give you a dollar. 72 00:04:13,419 --> 00:04:16,889 Wow, you're really bound up. 73 00:04:16,956 --> 00:04:18,958 Hey, there's a yoga class in like 20 minutes. 74 00:04:19,025 --> 00:04:20,059 You want to go? 75 00:04:20,126 --> 00:04:21,628 Will I be the only dude? 76 00:04:21,694 --> 00:04:24,931 Because I don't like going to places where I'm the only dude. 77 00:04:25,732 --> 00:04:27,467 No, there's other dudes. 78 00:04:27,533 --> 00:04:30,036 Yoga dudes, or like American dudes? 79 00:04:32,805 --> 00:04:35,508 All kinds, Eddie. It's a Dude-a-palooza. 80 00:04:36,909 --> 00:04:39,512 All right, I'm in. Just let me go change. 81 00:04:39,579 --> 00:04:41,614 Great, I'll be back in 10. 82 00:04:42,515 --> 00:04:44,083 (EXHALES) 83 00:04:44,150 --> 00:04:46,219 All right. Hey, Joy, all right. 84 00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:49,889 It's just you, me, and a little tennis. 85 00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:51,791 You got like five remotes here. 86 00:04:51,858 --> 00:04:54,060 You could launch the shuttle with these, huh? 87 00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:55,428 (CHUCKLING) 88 00:04:55,495 --> 00:04:57,363 Come on, scoot over. Oh, sorry. 89 00:04:57,430 --> 00:04:59,232 (TV ANNOUNCER TALKING) 90 00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:00,767 (CROWD CHEERING) 91 00:05:00,833 --> 00:05:02,001 Why's that guy taking off his shirt? 92 00:05:02,068 --> 00:05:03,936 Oh, it's just Romanov. 93 00:05:04,003 --> 00:05:06,506 Loves to show off that six-pack. 94 00:05:06,572 --> 00:05:08,675 Oh, I'm so not hating that. 95 00:05:08,741 --> 00:05:11,244 Yeah, look, I am the most heterosexual guy you know 96 00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:13,479 and I'm not hating it either. 97 00:05:18,384 --> 00:05:19,652 The most? 98 00:05:23,723 --> 00:05:26,793 Well, one of the most, right? 99 00:05:27,694 --> 00:05:29,329 Let's just watch. 100 00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:40,206 Okay, now that we're all warmed up and ready to begin, 101 00:05:41,374 --> 00:05:44,077 let's move into the tree pose. 102 00:05:53,152 --> 00:05:54,153 Oh, no! 103 00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:00,626 Oh! It's my first day. 104 00:06:07,734 --> 00:06:12,038 And now slowly into the lord of the fishes pose. 105 00:06:12,105 --> 00:06:15,074 Take your right leg and fold it under your left thigh 106 00:06:15,141 --> 00:06:18,845 bringing your right heel to the outside of your left hip. 107 00:06:18,911 --> 00:06:22,248 Take your left leg, wrap it over your right knee, 108 00:06:22,315 --> 00:06:24,884 put the heel of your left foot flat on the floor 109 00:06:24,951 --> 00:06:26,619 at your right thigh 110 00:06:26,686 --> 00:06:30,089 and turn in the direction of your bent left leg. 111 00:06:33,659 --> 00:06:34,927 Oh, God. 112 00:06:37,096 --> 00:06:38,431 Here! 113 00:06:38,498 --> 00:06:39,799 (GROANS) 114 00:06:40,366 --> 00:06:41,801 Good. 115 00:06:41,868 --> 00:06:44,103 Now press the outside of your right arm 116 00:06:44,170 --> 00:06:46,906 to the knee and thigh of your left leg, 117 00:06:46,973 --> 00:06:50,843 try to stretch your right armpit to the outside of that knee. 118 00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:54,447 Twist and turn, looking over your left shoulder. 119 00:06:54,514 --> 00:06:58,484 Settle into the pose and enjoy it. 120 00:07:05,358 --> 00:07:07,627 How we doing? 121 00:07:07,693 --> 00:07:11,464 Well, I'm losing feeling in either my left or right hand. 122 00:07:12,532 --> 00:07:15,401 I just don't know which is which right now. 123 00:07:16,169 --> 00:07:17,403 Mmm-hmm. 124 00:07:17,470 --> 00:07:19,806 Did you sign our medical waiver out front? 125 00:07:19,872 --> 00:07:21,240 (PANTING) I think so, why? 126 00:07:21,307 --> 00:07:22,942 Oh, no reason. 127 00:07:24,076 --> 00:07:25,578 Looking good. 128 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,515 And relax. 129 00:07:29,582 --> 00:07:34,487 Concentrate on your heart center, always breathing. 130 00:07:35,555 --> 00:07:38,424 And thank yourselves for coming today. 131 00:07:38,491 --> 00:07:40,159 Thank you, Eddie. 132 00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:45,631 Oh, not out loud? 133 00:07:47,333 --> 00:07:48,668 Namaste. 134 00:07:48,734 --> 00:07:50,336 ALL:  Namaste. 135 00:07:50,403 --> 00:07:52,538 Okay, so that one's out loud. 136 00:07:53,873 --> 00:07:56,042 Namaste. Boom. 137 00:08:00,012 --> 00:08:01,113 Okay. 138 00:08:02,348 --> 00:08:04,183 So how do you feel? 139 00:08:04,250 --> 00:08:06,452 Well, you know, it started out a little rough 140 00:08:06,519 --> 00:08:09,388 but I gotta tell you, I feel fantastic. 141 00:08:09,455 --> 00:08:14,694 Except for that one move where I accidentally sat on my own merchandise. 142 00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:19,632 Yeah. That was a noise I've never really heard before. 143 00:08:19,699 --> 00:08:21,667 You know, usually after class I grab a chai latte 144 00:08:21,734 --> 00:08:24,237 and hit the flea market. Any interest? 145 00:08:24,303 --> 00:08:26,272 Are you kidding me? I love flea markets. 146 00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:29,909 Let me just check in with the tower and see if I'm clear for takeoff. 147 00:08:29,976 --> 00:08:31,344 (CHUCKLES) 148 00:08:32,311 --> 00:08:33,913 (PHONE RINGING) 149 00:08:34,914 --> 00:08:36,482 Hello? Hey, it's me. 150 00:08:36,549 --> 00:08:38,584 Hey. How's yoga? 151 00:08:38,651 --> 00:08:41,220 Life changing. How's it going with you? 152 00:08:41,287 --> 00:08:43,623 (SQUEALING) 153 00:08:43,689 --> 00:08:45,725 What, did your sister come over? 154 00:08:45,791 --> 00:08:46,826 What? 155 00:08:46,893 --> 00:08:48,828 Who's the screaming lady? 156 00:08:48,895 --> 00:08:50,963 (CHUCKLING) Uh, it's Jeff. 157 00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:52,231 We're watching tennis together. 158 00:08:52,298 --> 00:08:55,701 We are actually having a really good time. 159 00:08:55,768 --> 00:08:59,205 No, that is not code for please come rescue me. 160 00:08:59,272 --> 00:09:02,775 I know I use that with your mother but this is different. 161 00:09:02,842 --> 00:09:04,544 All right, well, listen, I'm glad you're having fun 162 00:09:04,610 --> 00:09:06,445 and Steph and I are gonna go hit a flea market 163 00:09:06,512 --> 00:09:08,214 so I guess I'll talk to you later. 164 00:09:08,281 --> 00:09:10,449 I guess you will. Bye. 165 00:09:10,516 --> 00:09:13,452 You know, I wouldn't really have pegged you as a flea market kinda guy. 166 00:09:13,519 --> 00:09:15,087 Yeah, I know you wouldn't, but you know what? 167 00:09:15,154 --> 00:09:18,057 I read a few years ago about this guy who bought an old painting 168 00:09:18,124 --> 00:09:20,660 and he actually found an original copy 169 00:09:20,726 --> 00:09:23,396 of the Declaration of Independence hidden inside. 170 00:09:23,462 --> 00:09:24,497 Really? Mmm-hmm. 171 00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,299 Now I buy old paintings by the dozen, 172 00:09:26,365 --> 00:09:30,069 I take them home and I tear through them like scratcher tickets. 173 00:09:30,136 --> 00:09:33,506 I have literally destroyed hundreds of pieces of art. 174 00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:42,348 Thanks for taking me tennis racket shopping today. 175 00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:44,317 I'm so excited to play with you. 176 00:09:44,383 --> 00:09:46,085 And I'm excited to be played with. 177 00:09:46,152 --> 00:09:47,687 (BOTH LAUGHING) 178 00:09:50,222 --> 00:09:51,891 Seriously, I've had a really fun day. 179 00:09:51,958 --> 00:09:53,326 This place is great, huh? 180 00:09:53,392 --> 00:09:55,027 Oh, yeah, um, Eddie and I, 181 00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:56,495 we had our 10th anniversary here. 182 00:09:56,562 --> 00:09:58,798 Oh! Yeah. 183 00:09:58,864 --> 00:10:03,736 You know, I feel like I've been here before, I just can't remember when. 184 00:10:03,803 --> 00:10:06,439 Maybe I just popped in to use the can. 185 00:10:07,406 --> 00:10:09,842 Ha! You are crazy! 186 00:10:09,909 --> 00:10:11,611 True story, I swear! 187 00:10:11,677 --> 00:10:12,812 JEFF: Nutty! 188 00:10:12,878 --> 00:10:14,680 (BOTH LAUGHING) 189 00:10:14,747 --> 00:10:16,682 Joy? Eddie. 190 00:10:16,749 --> 00:10:17,883 Babe? Hon? 191 00:10:17,950 --> 00:10:19,285 Hey. Hi. 192 00:10:19,352 --> 00:10:20,753 What are you doing here? 193 00:10:20,820 --> 00:10:23,789 Uh, just grabbing a bite. How about you guys? 194 00:10:23,856 --> 00:10:25,992 Same. Yeah. 195 00:10:27,693 --> 00:10:28,728 Well, that's great. 196 00:10:28,794 --> 00:10:30,229 Really, really great. 197 00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:31,664 (CHUCKLES) 198 00:10:34,700 --> 00:10:36,302 So... 199 00:10:40,539 --> 00:10:42,074 Should we maybe make it a foursome? 200 00:10:42,141 --> 00:10:43,275 Of course, of course. 201 00:10:43,342 --> 00:10:44,877 (ALL CHATTERING) 202 00:10:46,946 --> 00:10:48,047 Here's your beverage. 203 00:10:48,114 --> 00:10:49,782 Thank you, Joy. 204 00:10:49,849 --> 00:10:50,950 All right. 205 00:10:51,017 --> 00:10:52,084 JOY: Well, this is nice. 206 00:10:52,151 --> 00:10:53,686 Yep. Mmm-hmm. 207 00:10:53,753 --> 00:10:56,088 Thank you. Oh, thanks. 208 00:10:56,155 --> 00:10:59,525 So, it's good to see you guys. 209 00:11:03,129 --> 00:11:06,999 It's good to see you, too. You look terrific. 210 00:11:10,436 --> 00:11:12,872 Is this weird? Do you wanna sit next to... 211 00:11:12,938 --> 00:11:14,740 I mean, should we switch? 212 00:11:14,807 --> 00:11:16,542 No, no, no. 213 00:11:16,609 --> 00:11:19,078 I stare into that enormous ear hole every day. 214 00:11:19,145 --> 00:11:21,180 (ALL LAUGHING) 215 00:11:21,247 --> 00:11:22,848 So how's yoga working out for you? 216 00:11:22,915 --> 00:11:24,383 Fantastic. JOY: Yeah? 217 00:11:24,450 --> 00:11:26,519 Oh, yeah, actually, we're going back next Tuesday night. 218 00:11:26,585 --> 00:11:27,653 Oh, Tuesday night... 219 00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:29,422 Well, that's perfect. 220 00:11:29,488 --> 00:11:32,558 Because, Jeff and I, we're gonna play tennis Tuesday night. 221 00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:33,659 Good for you guys. 222 00:11:33,726 --> 00:11:35,061 Yeah, yeah. 223 00:11:35,127 --> 00:11:37,396 That's great. So it looks like you got your thing 224 00:11:37,463 --> 00:11:39,465 and we got our thing. 225 00:11:40,766 --> 00:11:42,268 Looks like it. Yeah. 226 00:11:42,334 --> 00:11:44,336 A toast then. JOY: Okay. 227 00:11:44,403 --> 00:11:46,205 To whatever this is. 228 00:11:59,151 --> 00:12:01,921 Why did I not pursue professional tennis? 229 00:12:01,987 --> 00:12:04,423 Look at me, I am absolutely adorable. 230 00:12:04,490 --> 00:12:06,792 Oh, you are adorable. 231 00:12:06,859 --> 00:12:08,427 I would take a run at you right now 232 00:12:08,494 --> 00:12:11,731 if it didn't take me 25 minutes to peel these pants off. 233 00:12:14,900 --> 00:12:16,068 Hey, honey, let me ask you something. 234 00:12:16,135 --> 00:12:18,170 You don't think it's weird that we're spending 235 00:12:18,237 --> 00:12:20,906 so much time with Jeff and Steph separately, do you? 236 00:12:20,973 --> 00:12:24,410 (CHUCKLING) Weird? No. I think it's great. 237 00:12:24,477 --> 00:12:28,614 Oh, God, I am so relieved. You know what? Me too. 238 00:12:28,681 --> 00:12:31,517 Yeah, it doesn't mean that we don't love each other. 239 00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:32,718 It's just that... 240 00:12:32,785 --> 00:12:35,187 Sometimes things between us get a little... 241 00:12:35,254 --> 00:12:36,889 I don't wanna say boring. 242 00:12:36,956 --> 00:12:39,058 Boring? God, no. 243 00:12:39,859 --> 00:12:40,926 No. 244 00:12:42,461 --> 00:12:44,630 No. 245 00:12:44,697 --> 00:12:47,233 I think it is a testament to the strength of our marriage 246 00:12:47,299 --> 00:12:48,601 that we can pull this off. 247 00:12:48,667 --> 00:12:49,969 I mean, most couples could not do this. 248 00:12:50,035 --> 00:12:52,905 Exactly, because our trust is so strong... 249 00:12:52,972 --> 00:12:54,206 So freaking strong. 250 00:12:54,273 --> 00:12:57,009 Oh, hell, we are so rock solid 251 00:12:57,076 --> 00:12:59,278 that I barely gotta see you at all. 252 00:12:59,345 --> 00:13:00,479 Right back at you. 253 00:13:00,546 --> 00:13:02,314 You know why? Because at the end of the day, 254 00:13:02,381 --> 00:13:05,885 I know in my heart that there is no one on this Earth 255 00:13:05,951 --> 00:13:08,387 that I would rather spend time with than you. 256 00:13:08,454 --> 00:13:10,022 And I you, sir. 257 00:13:10,089 --> 00:13:11,123 Aw. 258 00:13:13,325 --> 00:13:14,326 (DOORBELL RINGING) 259 00:13:14,393 --> 00:13:15,895 BOTH: They're here! 260 00:13:18,130 --> 00:13:19,365 Hey. Hi! 261 00:13:27,573 --> 00:13:31,544 Holy smokes, you're showing a lot of thigh there, Serena. 262 00:13:31,610 --> 00:13:34,880 Why don't you leave a little something to the imagination, huh? 263 00:13:34,947 --> 00:13:38,651 Yeah, like you in stretchy pants isn't gonna keep me up tonight. 264 00:13:39,952 --> 00:13:41,854 Eddie, we should go. Yoga starts in 10. 265 00:13:41,921 --> 00:13:43,956 Yeah, we don't wanna get stuck too close to Fat Gary 266 00:13:44,023 --> 00:13:46,458 while he tries to touch his toes. 267 00:13:46,525 --> 00:13:50,262 There ain't enough incense in India to cover up that stink. 268 00:13:56,335 --> 00:13:58,304 (GRUNTING) 269 00:14:01,574 --> 00:14:03,909 Getting a little hardcore there, huh? 270 00:14:03,976 --> 00:14:06,445 Oh, yeah. That's what they taught me at the tennis academy. 271 00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:11,217 Preparation, intensity, discipline, abstinence. 272 00:14:11,283 --> 00:14:13,786 Wow, sounds like a really fun place to spend your summer. 273 00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:17,389 Oh, yeah. I guess you could say my dad pushed me pretty hard. 274 00:14:17,456 --> 00:14:20,693 I used to beg my mom to let me come home but uh-uh. 275 00:14:20,759 --> 00:14:22,695 Dad said no way. 276 00:14:22,761 --> 00:14:25,831 He used to tell me to take the pain of missing my mommy 277 00:14:25,898 --> 00:14:27,833 and put it in my serve. 278 00:14:29,501 --> 00:14:30,769 I'm sorry, Jeff. 279 00:14:30,836 --> 00:14:32,805 Oh, no, it's... It's okay, you know. 280 00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:36,508 It's all in the past. See, I... I just play for fun now. 281 00:14:36,575 --> 00:14:38,177 It's just a game, you know? 282 00:14:38,244 --> 00:14:40,980 It's not like it's emotional currency or 283 00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:43,682 love. 284 00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:50,089 Okay. Uh, well, I'll be right over there. 285 00:14:50,155 --> 00:14:52,758 Great, great. Ah! This is gonna be fun, Joy. 286 00:14:52,825 --> 00:14:54,193 JOY: All right. 287 00:15:02,668 --> 00:15:04,236 I'm back, Papa. 288 00:15:06,872 --> 00:15:08,440 (JEFF GRUNTING) 289 00:15:12,878 --> 00:15:13,946 Ow! 290 00:15:16,982 --> 00:15:18,484 (JEFF SCREAMS) 291 00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:25,925 Out. 292 00:15:25,991 --> 00:15:27,126 JEFF: Are you insane? 293 00:15:27,192 --> 00:15:30,195 That ball was clearly in. This is such crap! 294 00:15:32,898 --> 00:15:35,467 All right, you know what? Screw this! 295 00:15:39,538 --> 00:15:41,206 Okay, here we go. 296 00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:45,411 Daddy needs a historical document. 297 00:15:47,246 --> 00:15:48,747 Sorry, amigo. 298 00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:54,720 Ah. Damn. 0 for 9. 299 00:15:57,856 --> 00:16:01,460 Hey, there she is. How was tennis? 300 00:16:01,527 --> 00:16:03,062 I gotta tell you, for a little guy, 301 00:16:03,128 --> 00:16:06,565 that Jeff is a large helping of freaky-deaky. 302 00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:08,867 {\an5}I think we're gonna cool it for a while. Yeah, okay. 303 00:16:08,934 --> 00:16:10,636 In fact, I was thinking that we could have 304 00:16:10,703 --> 00:16:12,838 a little time to ourselves tonight. 305 00:16:12,905 --> 00:16:16,375 Oh, you know, that would be super awesome. 306 00:16:16,442 --> 00:16:17,843 It really would. 307 00:16:17,910 --> 00:16:19,011 It's just that Steph and I had planned to go 308 00:16:19,078 --> 00:16:20,846 to this new pizza place right after yoga so... 309 00:16:20,913 --> 00:16:22,715 Well, you can cancel. 310 00:16:24,717 --> 00:16:26,118 I would love to. 311 00:16:26,185 --> 00:16:28,587 It's just that, you know, that's kinda rude, 312 00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:30,889 you know, to do that last minute. 313 00:16:30,956 --> 00:16:32,758 Manners and such. 314 00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:34,460 Eddie... 315 00:16:34,526 --> 00:16:37,496 Look, you were totally on board with this yesterday. What happened? 316 00:16:37,563 --> 00:16:40,866 That's before I realized Jeff's insane. 317 00:16:40,933 --> 00:16:42,167 So I have to stay home and suffer 318 00:16:42,234 --> 00:16:45,904 just because your guy turned out to be a dud? 319 00:16:45,971 --> 00:16:47,473 Yes, you have to stay home. 320 00:16:47,539 --> 00:16:49,174 You think it's appropriate that you take Steph 321 00:16:49,241 --> 00:16:52,011 out for pizza while I sit here alone? 322 00:16:52,077 --> 00:16:55,948 Okay, all right, I see what this is all about. 323 00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:58,384 It's about being alone, right? 324 00:16:58,450 --> 00:17:01,854 Listen to me. You're gonna find someone else. 325 00:17:07,693 --> 00:17:10,229 You got a lot of great stuff going on here. 326 00:17:10,295 --> 00:17:13,832 Someone's gonna scoop you right up. All right? 327 00:17:13,899 --> 00:17:15,934 Hey, I'll tell you what, I'll bring you home a slice. 328 00:17:16,001 --> 00:17:18,470 No! I don't want leftover pizza from your date. 329 00:17:18,537 --> 00:17:19,905 Okay, all right, listen, listen. 330 00:17:19,972 --> 00:17:21,673 Joy, calm down. 331 00:17:21,740 --> 00:17:24,910 Honey, you've just been through a tough relationship. 332 00:17:24,977 --> 00:17:27,112 You're feeling very, very vulnerable 333 00:17:27,179 --> 00:17:30,616 but please, don't lash out at me. 334 00:17:30,682 --> 00:17:32,851 Joy, look at me. Look at me. 335 00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:35,554 I'm not him. 336 00:17:38,590 --> 00:17:39,925 Okay? All right, I'm gonna... 337 00:17:39,992 --> 00:17:42,094 That is enough. Sit down! 338 00:17:42,161 --> 00:17:43,262 What, I... You... 339 00:17:43,328 --> 00:17:44,329 The pizza. 340 00:17:44,396 --> 00:17:46,932 You are my husband. I am your wife. 341 00:17:46,999 --> 00:17:49,501 We are gonna stop seeing other people. 342 00:17:49,568 --> 00:17:51,470 We're gonna go back to being exclusive 343 00:17:51,537 --> 00:17:55,107 because dating our neighbors... Not our healthiest moment. 344 00:17:58,610 --> 00:18:00,846 You know what? You're right. 345 00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:03,382 I was crazy. I don't know, it's just... 346 00:18:03,449 --> 00:18:05,250 She touched my feet. 347 00:18:07,252 --> 00:18:10,823 You used to do that. I guess I just missed it. 348 00:18:10,889 --> 00:18:14,793 Yeah? Well I miss you opening car doors 349 00:18:14,860 --> 00:18:18,263 and bringing me flowers 350 00:18:18,330 --> 00:18:21,066 and holding in at least 20% of your gas. 351 00:18:28,674 --> 00:18:31,410 Why don't we do those things anymore? 352 00:18:31,477 --> 00:18:35,447 We've been married 20 years. We've earned the right not to. 353 00:18:35,514 --> 00:18:37,716 I'll tell you what. 354 00:18:37,783 --> 00:18:39,418 You go tell your little girlfriend 355 00:18:39,485 --> 00:18:42,688 that you're getting back together with the old lady 356 00:18:42,754 --> 00:18:46,024 and I will be your new yoga partner. 357 00:18:46,091 --> 00:18:50,262 And maybe later I will whip off those socks 358 00:18:50,329 --> 00:18:52,764 and take a crack at your tootsies. 359 00:18:53,565 --> 00:18:54,766 Oh, yeah? 360 00:18:54,833 --> 00:18:56,301 Well, okay, I'll tell you what. You wait here... 361 00:18:56,368 --> 00:18:57,536 Okay. 362 00:18:57,603 --> 00:19:00,706 And I am gonna go break a little girl's heart. 363 00:19:03,675 --> 00:19:05,377 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 364 00:19:09,648 --> 00:19:10,749 Hey, Eddie. Ready to go? 365 00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:13,719 Hey, actually, I gotta talk to you. 366 00:19:13,785 --> 00:19:15,420 Sure, what's up? 367 00:19:16,288 --> 00:19:17,923 Oh, this is hard. 368 00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:21,093 Um, I'm not gonna be able to go out with you tonight. 369 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,728 Oh, no problem. 370 00:19:26,598 --> 00:19:28,233 Oh, I was hoping this wouldn't go this way. 371 00:19:28,300 --> 00:19:29,968 Come here, champ. 372 00:19:30,469 --> 00:19:31,803 Come here. 373 00:19:31,870 --> 00:19:36,141 Listen, Steph, um, it's not just tonight. 374 00:19:36,208 --> 00:19:41,079 I'm not gonna be able to do yoga with you ever again. 375 00:19:41,146 --> 00:19:44,983 That's cool. We used up all my guest passes anyway. 376 00:19:45,050 --> 00:19:47,019 You are so brave. 377 00:19:47,085 --> 00:19:48,287 So, so brave. 378 00:19:48,353 --> 00:19:50,489 Hey, Steph, you ready? 379 00:19:50,556 --> 00:19:53,258 What's Fat Gary doing here? 380 00:19:53,325 --> 00:19:57,429 Well, Gary wants to go to pizza with us 381 00:19:57,496 --> 00:19:59,765 so I figured we'd just take one car. 382 00:19:59,831 --> 00:20:02,034 Oh, I see. 383 00:20:02,100 --> 00:20:05,237 You'd think you would've maybe checked with me first. 384 00:20:05,304 --> 00:20:07,439 Why would I check with you? 385 00:20:12,811 --> 00:20:15,147 What we had is so over. 386 00:20:25,591 --> 00:20:27,092 {\an8}Take your right leg 387 00:20:27,159 --> 00:20:29,995 {\an8}and sweep it under your left thigh, 388 00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:33,131 {\an8}your left heel around the back of your hip. 389 00:20:33,198 --> 00:20:35,767 {\an8}Now look over your opposite shoulder, 390 00:20:35,834 --> 00:20:37,202 {\an8}and reach behind your back 391 00:20:37,269 --> 00:20:39,838 {\an8}linking your pinky with your big toe. 392 00:20:45,043 --> 00:20:46,111 {\an8}(GRUNTING) 393 00:20:46,178 --> 00:20:47,746 {\an8}JOY: This is brutal. 394 00:20:49,681 --> 00:20:52,517 {\an8}You wanna get out of here and get waffles for dinner? 395 00:20:52,584 --> 00:20:54,686 {\an8}I would like that very much. 30760

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