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1
00:00:02,469 --> 00:00:03,903
I should be the boss
when I get married
2
00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:06,906
because my mom is the boss
and it works out really well.
3
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:08,775
I like this one boy, Kevin.
4
00:00:08,875 --> 00:00:11,578
He likes me back.
I don't know why.
5
00:00:11,678 --> 00:00:12,879
♪ All right!
6
00:00:12,979 --> 00:00:15,482
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! ♪
7
00:00:18,451 --> 00:00:20,887
Okay, remember
that the garbage
goes out on Tuesday
8
00:00:20,987 --> 00:00:21,888
and if you see a man
in the bushes,
9
00:00:21,988 --> 00:00:23,123
it's probably
just the gardener,
10
00:00:23,223 --> 00:00:25,992
so please don't
call 911 again.
11
00:00:26,092 --> 00:00:28,428
{\an8}Oh, and I put backup
toilet paper in all
the bathrooms
12
00:00:28,528 --> 00:00:30,530
{\an8}because I won't be here
to rescue you
when you start yelling,
13
00:00:30,630 --> 00:00:32,932
{\an8}"Joy! TP, now!"
14
00:00:35,235 --> 00:00:36,936
{\an8}I'm just trying to save us
all the embarrassment
15
00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:42,042
{\an8}of me shuffling
across the hall
to the linen closet.
16
00:00:42,142 --> 00:00:44,377
{\an8}I'm so excited that Allison
agreed to spend spring break
with me
17
00:00:44,477 --> 00:00:45,945
{\an8}instead of moping
in her dorm
18
00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:48,181
{\an8}over that loser pottery guy
dumping her.
19
00:00:48,281 --> 00:00:49,649
{\an8}Yeah, I didn't want to
say anything at the time,
20
00:00:49,749 --> 00:00:52,052
{\an8}but his fingernails
were filthy.
21
00:00:52,152 --> 00:00:53,820
{\an8}Good riddance.
22
00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:55,455
{\an8}All right.
I think I can
handle it from here.
23
00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:56,956
{\an8}I'll call you when I land.
Love you.
24
00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:58,625
{\an8}I love you, too.
25
00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:00,026
{\an8}I'll miss you.
26
00:01:00,126 --> 00:01:01,861
{\an8}That's ridiculous.
27
00:01:04,297 --> 00:01:05,999
{\an8}Ridiculous?
28
00:01:06,099 --> 00:01:09,269
{\an8}Look, Joy. I love you
and you love me.
29
00:01:09,369 --> 00:01:11,805
{\an8}But let's not go overboard.
We've been married
for 20 years.
30
00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:13,873
{\an8}I can go six days
without seeing you.
31
00:01:13,973 --> 00:01:15,141
{\an8}I mean,
in colonial times,
32
00:01:15,241 --> 00:01:17,811
{\an8}it would take you that long
just to get bacon.
33
00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:21,948
{\an8}Go ahead.
Have fun, you kook.
34
00:01:23,316 --> 00:01:25,385
{\an8}Okay. Let me just
get this straight.
35
00:01:25,485 --> 00:01:27,153
{\an8}I'm gonna go away
for a week.
36
00:01:27,253 --> 00:01:29,622
{\an8}And you're not gonna
miss me at all?
37
00:01:29,722 --> 00:01:32,258
{\an8}Will I think of you
fondly? Yes.
38
00:01:32,358 --> 00:01:35,428
{\an8}Will a small grin dance
across my face as I look
in the tub
39
00:01:35,528 --> 00:01:37,664
{\an8}and see some of your
hairs in the drain?
40
00:01:38,498 --> 00:01:40,333
{\an8}Perhaps.
41
00:01:40,433 --> 00:01:43,603
{\an8}But am I gonna painfully
long for you during your
absence?
42
00:01:43,703 --> 00:01:45,338
{\an8}(CHUCKLES)
It's a big, fat no.
43
00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:49,008
{\an8}You know what?
You are unbelievable.
44
00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:51,077
{\an8}How hard is it
to tell your wife,
45
00:01:51,177 --> 00:01:52,912
{\an8}the person with whom
you've spent your life,
46
00:01:53,012 --> 00:01:54,013
{\an8}that you are going
to miss her?
47
00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:56,583
{\an8}Might it even occur
to you to lie?
48
00:01:56,683 --> 00:01:59,219
{\an8}I have a commitment
to the truth.
49
00:01:59,319 --> 00:02:01,454
{\an8}Okay, Eddie. You know what?
I'm gonna go.
50
00:02:03,056 --> 00:02:05,692
{\an8}But know this.
You are going to miss me.
51
00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:08,995
{\an8}It may not be today,
it may not be tomorrow,
52
00:02:09,095 --> 00:02:11,998
{\an8}it'll probably be today.
53
00:02:12,098 --> 00:02:15,068
{\an8}You're gonna miss me bad!
Goodbye!
54
00:02:15,168 --> 00:02:18,705
Goodbye, my sweet.
Goodbye, my pants!
55
00:02:19,873 --> 00:02:21,975
Hello, Judge Hatchett.
56
00:02:27,247 --> 00:02:29,749
Ah! This is so great.
57
00:02:29,849 --> 00:02:32,285
So much better than
my spring break.
58
00:02:32,385 --> 00:02:35,355
All I remember was
there was tequila,
59
00:02:35,455 --> 00:02:37,857
a volleyball
and a donkey.
60
00:02:39,292 --> 00:02:41,528
(GIGGLES) Were you in Mexico?
61
00:02:41,628 --> 00:02:43,296
I don't think so.
62
00:02:45,031 --> 00:02:49,536
Listen,
I know that you're
still hurting about Doug.
63
00:02:49,636 --> 00:02:51,538
But I want you
to forget about men.
64
00:02:51,638 --> 00:02:54,507
This is a "girls only"
bonding trip.
65
00:02:54,607 --> 00:02:55,708
Look out, South Beach.
66
00:02:55,808 --> 00:02:57,977
The Stark ladies
are off the hizzy.
67
00:03:00,346 --> 00:03:02,749
Yeah. That felt wrong.
68
00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:05,285
Well, you know
what would feel right.
69
00:03:05,385 --> 00:03:06,119
And what's that?
70
00:03:06,219 --> 00:03:07,854
A margarita.
71
00:03:07,954 --> 00:03:10,123
Give me your ID
and I'll go get us four.
72
00:03:11,491 --> 00:03:13,092
Nice try, junior.
73
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:17,030
Go get yourself a soda
and go get Mommy a Mojito.
74
00:03:22,168 --> 00:03:24,871
Let me guess,
University of Virginia?
75
00:03:25,705 --> 00:03:27,273
Excuse me?
76
00:03:27,373 --> 00:03:29,943
I'm sorry. It's just
a little spring break
game I play.
77
00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:33,379
I try to guess where
all the pretty girls
go to school.
78
00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:35,481
I'm Joy.
79
00:03:35,582 --> 00:03:36,749
Jack.
Hi, Jack.
80
00:03:36,849 --> 00:03:38,518
And I'm guessing
poli sci major.
81
00:03:38,618 --> 00:03:40,687
No, no. Wait.
82
00:03:42,088 --> 00:03:44,090
That body says dance.
83
00:03:45,325 --> 00:03:47,560
Double major.
84
00:03:47,660 --> 00:03:50,330
Well, Joy, how would you
like to protect our shores
by joining the beach brigade
85
00:03:50,430 --> 00:03:52,999
and helping me
pick up trash?
86
00:03:53,099 --> 00:03:56,402
We're starting
tomorrow morning when
the sun's three fingers
87
00:03:56,502 --> 00:03:57,637
above the horizon.
88
00:03:57,737 --> 00:03:59,872
(GIGGLES)
89
00:03:59,973 --> 00:04:01,441
See you at three fingers.
90
00:04:01,541 --> 00:04:02,575
All right!
91
00:04:02,675 --> 00:04:04,711
(LAUGHS)
92
00:04:04,811 --> 00:04:08,114
Okay, so that's a seven meat,
three cheese. Right, gorgeous?
93
00:04:08,214 --> 00:04:10,383
All right. Keep the change.
Get yourself some hair gel.
94
00:04:10,483 --> 00:04:11,985
Chinese food.
95
00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:14,020
Oh! This is awkward.
96
00:04:15,221 --> 00:04:16,489
Um...
97
00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:19,959
Mario, Feng-Bai.
Feng-Bai, Mario.
98
00:04:20,059 --> 00:04:23,429
There you go. Okay.
No fighting, you two.
Okay?
99
00:04:23,529 --> 00:04:25,632
(CHUCKLING)
100
00:04:25,732 --> 00:04:27,567
♪ Kung Pao Chicken
all night long
101
00:04:27,667 --> 00:04:29,068
♪ Doo-dah, doo-dah
102
00:04:29,168 --> 00:04:31,871
♪ I say, Kung Pao Chicken
all night long
103
00:04:31,971 --> 00:04:32,805
♪ Oh, the doo-dah day ♪
Hey, neighbor.
104
00:04:32,905 --> 00:04:35,675
Wow, you're not wearing
any pants.
105
00:04:35,775 --> 00:04:37,010
Of course
I'm not wearing pants.
106
00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:38,511
In fact,
the only reason
I'm wearing boxers
107
00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:41,347
is 'cause I can't
find a napkin.
108
00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:43,283
Wow, you've got
a lot of food here.
109
00:04:43,383 --> 00:04:46,419
Looks like
you're not gonna need
this lasagna I made you.
110
00:04:46,519 --> 00:04:49,322
Need? No. Want? Yes.
Thank you.
111
00:04:49,422 --> 00:04:51,357
Put that right over here.
112
00:04:51,457 --> 00:04:53,059
Well, with Joy gone,
we thought you might
need some company.
113
00:04:53,159 --> 00:04:55,528
Need? No. Want? No.
114
00:04:55,628 --> 00:04:58,364
Come on, Eddie.
You must miss Joy
a little bit.
115
00:04:58,464 --> 00:04:59,699
Sometimes, I miss Steph
116
00:04:59,799 --> 00:05:01,301
when her back's
turned to me in bed.
117
00:05:01,401 --> 00:05:04,671
It's true. I can only
sleep on my left side.
118
00:05:04,771 --> 00:05:06,606
My spine's pretty
messed up.
119
00:05:08,041 --> 00:05:11,010
All right, listen.
I appreciate you guys
looking out for me,
120
00:05:11,110 --> 00:05:13,012
but the truth is
I'm managing just fine
121
00:05:13,112 --> 00:05:15,114
and I'm looking forward
to having this week alone.
122
00:05:15,214 --> 00:05:17,750
I'm eating what I want,
I'm sleeping when I want
123
00:05:17,850 --> 00:05:19,118
and I've watched so much TV
124
00:05:19,218 --> 00:05:21,521
I can't even see
the color blue.
125
00:05:21,621 --> 00:05:23,890
(CHUCKLES) It's fantastic.
126
00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:26,059
Well, just so you know
we're here for you.
127
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:28,461
In fact, if the weather
gets better,
128
00:05:28,561 --> 00:05:30,897
Jeff and I are thinking
about breaking in our new
picnic basket tomorrow.
129
00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:32,231
Yeah. We have
a secret spot,
130
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:34,467
so if you come with us,
we're gonna have to
blindfold you.
131
00:05:34,567 --> 00:05:38,271
Yeah, well, unless that's
followed by a gunshot,
I wouldn't count on it.
132
00:05:38,371 --> 00:05:39,472
Okay.
Just think about it.
133
00:05:39,572 --> 00:05:41,774
Okay, will do.
Bye-bye.
134
00:05:43,976 --> 00:05:45,978
All right, Nanny 911.
135
00:05:46,079 --> 00:05:49,048
It's time to
put little Jeremy
in the naughty chair.
136
00:05:49,148 --> 00:05:51,150
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
137
00:05:51,250 --> 00:05:52,952
(STATIC ON TV)
138
00:05:57,457 --> 00:05:58,725
Uh-oh.
139
00:06:01,127 --> 00:06:03,129
How am I gonna eat
without TV?
140
00:06:04,897 --> 00:06:07,800
MALE VOICE: Due to interrupted
cable television service
in the tri-state area,
141
00:06:07,900 --> 00:06:10,536
we are experiencing
an abnormally high
call volume.
142
00:06:10,636 --> 00:06:13,272
Please stay on the line
and a customer service
representative
143
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:15,475
will be with you in one
144
00:06:16,242 --> 00:06:17,410
hundred
145
00:06:17,510 --> 00:06:19,045
twelve hours.
146
00:06:19,545 --> 00:06:20,646
What?
147
00:06:20,747 --> 00:06:22,682
(RAIN PATTERING)
148
00:06:32,859 --> 00:06:34,627
Hey, Stan, my man.
149
00:06:34,727 --> 00:06:36,262
Yeah, look.
I don't care
what you're doing.
150
00:06:36,362 --> 00:06:37,864
I got the whole house
to myself,
151
00:06:37,964 --> 00:06:40,566
so drop everything
and get on over here.
152
00:06:42,735 --> 00:06:44,570
Oh, that's terrible.
153
00:06:45,438 --> 00:06:47,373
I'm sorry for your loss.
154
00:06:48,708 --> 00:06:50,376
You're a pallbearer?
155
00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:54,947
You're pallbearing right now.
156
00:06:55,047 --> 00:06:57,083
Well, I'm surprised
you picked up.
157
00:06:57,183 --> 00:07:01,220
(STAMMERING)
Look, it sounds
like an all-day thing,
158
00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:03,589
so why don't I just
call you tomorrow?
159
00:07:03,689 --> 00:07:05,591
Yeah, have a... Have a...
160
00:07:06,325 --> 00:07:07,260
Okay.
161
00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:16,202
Lot of doctors,
not a lot of friends.
162
00:07:18,504 --> 00:07:19,806
Here we go.
163
00:07:24,143 --> 00:07:26,045
Cofeld.
164
00:07:26,145 --> 00:07:29,115
Yeah, yeah.
The wife's away.
Come on over.
165
00:07:29,515 --> 00:07:30,716
Great.
166
00:07:31,684 --> 00:07:33,219
Not until 3:00?
167
00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:36,689
Oh, yeah. Well...
168
00:07:36,789 --> 00:07:38,224
Well, good. Good.
169
00:07:38,324 --> 00:07:40,927
That'll give me some time
to get some things done.
170
00:07:41,027 --> 00:07:42,295
All right.
171
00:07:53,272 --> 00:07:55,174
Do I know
how to play baccarat?
172
00:07:58,411 --> 00:07:59,779
No, I do not.
173
00:08:04,183 --> 00:08:06,752
(IMITATING ELECTRIC GUITAR
PLAYING)
174
00:08:08,621 --> 00:08:11,357
Good night, Trenton!
I love you!
175
00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:18,097
Not in my house!
Not in my house!
176
00:08:21,567 --> 00:08:23,169
(DOORBELL RINGS)
177
00:08:26,772 --> 00:08:28,274
Just a minute!
178
00:08:29,375 --> 00:08:31,043
(RAIN PATTERING)
179
00:08:31,143 --> 00:08:32,645
So no TV, huh?
180
00:08:34,647 --> 00:08:36,148
This is weird.
181
00:08:36,849 --> 00:08:38,518
Yeah, kinda, huh?
182
00:08:44,557 --> 00:08:47,560
You know,
I've never really
looked at you before.
183
00:08:49,662 --> 00:08:51,964
Your head would be
great on a coin.
184
00:08:55,668 --> 00:08:57,069
Thank you.
185
00:08:58,604 --> 00:09:00,039
I never heard that before.
186
00:09:02,875 --> 00:09:05,311
So, you wanna watch some...
Oh, right. I can't.
187
00:09:05,411 --> 00:09:06,546
(LAUGHS)
188
00:09:07,313 --> 00:09:08,447
Hey, I got an idea.
189
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:09,582
Hmm?
190
00:09:09,682 --> 00:09:10,850
Want to see what
I confiscated
191
00:09:10,950 --> 00:09:12,051
from a couple of kids
at school?
192
00:09:12,151 --> 00:09:14,120
Oh, great.
I'll grab my lighter.
193
00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:15,988
No, no, no!
194
00:09:18,124 --> 00:09:20,426
Not that.
195
00:09:20,526 --> 00:09:24,864
Say hello to my little
friends, huh?
196
00:09:24,964 --> 00:09:27,767
Come on, man.
We're grown men.
197
00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:31,837
Does that bitch
have pump action?
198
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,242
Cofeld.
199
00:09:37,643 --> 00:09:40,112
Come out, come out,
wherever you are.
200
00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:42,615
Cofeld.
201
00:09:46,052 --> 00:09:47,386
Cofeld?
202
00:09:50,022 --> 00:09:51,991
You're still here, right?
203
00:09:52,091 --> 00:09:53,492
Sayonara, sucker!
204
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:55,361
(CHUCKLING)
205
00:09:55,461 --> 00:09:58,264
All right. Well played.
206
00:09:58,364 --> 00:10:00,633
Ah, well, thank you.
207
00:10:00,733 --> 00:10:02,335
And...
208
00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:05,371
I wouldn't use that
upstairs bathroom
for quite a while.
209
00:10:05,471 --> 00:10:06,739
Thank you.
210
00:10:08,774 --> 00:10:10,109
You know,
these really don't sting
211
00:10:10,209 --> 00:10:11,744
as bad as you think
they would.
212
00:10:15,681 --> 00:10:17,416
Yeah, see?
213
00:10:18,417 --> 00:10:19,585
Nothing.
No?
214
00:10:19,685 --> 00:10:21,253
No. Come closer.
Okay.
215
00:10:21,354 --> 00:10:22,421
Yeah, don't worry
about it.
216
00:10:22,521 --> 00:10:23,489
All right, all right.
You ready?
217
00:10:23,589 --> 00:10:24,724
Okay.
218
00:10:27,393 --> 00:10:29,061
Okay, all right.
219
00:10:29,161 --> 00:10:31,063
Had a little bite to it.
Little bite.
220
00:10:31,163 --> 00:10:32,898
But, just... You know.
221
00:10:32,999 --> 00:10:34,166
Come on. Move it up.
222
00:10:34,266 --> 00:10:35,501
All right.
223
00:10:41,273 --> 00:10:44,977
Okay. All right, okay.
All right.
224
00:10:45,077 --> 00:10:46,746
Okay, good. Good.
225
00:10:50,850 --> 00:10:52,985
Oh, okay. That...
226
00:10:54,620 --> 00:10:56,622
That was good. Yeah.
227
00:10:56,722 --> 00:10:58,991
That stung.
228
00:11:02,428 --> 00:11:05,398
Great view. But don't
look down at the pool.
229
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:09,502
That geezer is
packing a little bit more
than those Speedos can handle.
230
00:11:12,304 --> 00:11:14,807
Are you ready to go?
JOY: Yeah.
231
00:11:14,907 --> 00:11:16,909
And I got a surprise
for you.
232
00:11:17,009 --> 00:11:18,644
We're not just
gonna lie out,
233
00:11:18,744 --> 00:11:21,781
I signed us up to clean
the beach this morning.
234
00:11:22,548 --> 00:11:23,616
What?
235
00:11:27,286 --> 00:11:28,387
(JOY SIGHS)
236
00:11:28,487 --> 00:11:31,090
Yeah, I thought
it would be nice
to make a difference.
237
00:11:31,190 --> 00:11:33,959
You know, stop taking.
Start giving back.
238
00:11:34,860 --> 00:11:36,562
Again, what?
239
00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:40,499
And why are you dressed
like J.Lo?
240
00:11:41,801 --> 00:11:43,235
This?
241
00:11:43,335 --> 00:11:46,205
I just wanted to look nice
for my baby girl.
242
00:11:46,872 --> 00:11:48,207
How's the caboose?
243
00:11:48,307 --> 00:11:50,309
Under control?
244
00:11:50,409 --> 00:11:53,212
Yeah, mom. You have
a really great ass.
245
00:11:53,312 --> 00:11:55,681
All right, let's
do this thing, huh?
246
00:11:55,781 --> 00:11:59,785
Two girls on spring break,
picking up other people's
crap.
247
00:11:59,885 --> 00:12:02,688
Yeah, Mom, when did you
become so environmental?
248
00:12:02,788 --> 00:12:05,858
I once saw you dump
an old car battery
in a lake.
249
00:12:05,958 --> 00:12:09,228
Honey, that's what
this week is about,
trying new things,
250
00:12:09,328 --> 00:12:11,464
getting to know each other
on another level.
251
00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:12,965
In fact, for the rest
of the trip,
252
00:12:13,065 --> 00:12:14,734
don't think of me as Mom.
253
00:12:14,834 --> 00:12:16,802
I'm your friend, Joy.
254
00:12:16,902 --> 00:12:19,004
A dancer from the
University of Virginia.
255
00:12:23,876 --> 00:12:25,344
(HUMMING)
256
00:12:25,444 --> 00:12:26,545
(BEEPS)
257
00:12:29,648 --> 00:12:30,583
Oh...
258
00:12:38,157 --> 00:12:40,860
Experiment 39.
259
00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:44,563
Cheesy choco-nachos.
260
00:12:59,912 --> 00:13:02,782
Subject starting
to not feel too good.
261
00:13:14,827 --> 00:13:15,928
Oh!
262
00:13:21,100 --> 00:13:22,468
I miss you, Joy.
263
00:13:28,541 --> 00:13:30,676
There's my tiny dancer.
264
00:13:30,776 --> 00:13:32,311
Oh, you.
265
00:13:32,411 --> 00:13:34,246
Who is this lovely lady
you've brought with you?
266
00:13:34,346 --> 00:13:37,550
Well, Jack.
This is Allison.
Allison, this is Jack.
267
00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:39,652
Jack organized
this whole thing.
268
00:13:39,752 --> 00:13:40,853
{\an8}(CELL PHONE RINGS)
Nice to meet you.
269
00:13:40,953 --> 00:13:43,656
Oh, that's me.
270
00:13:43,756 --> 00:13:46,292
Excuse me. Could you
hold that for me?
271
00:13:46,392 --> 00:13:47,660
Excuse me.
272
00:13:53,732 --> 00:13:55,734
Hello?
273
00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:58,838
Yes, I was wondering
if you can help me find
a dentist in my area.
274
00:14:00,372 --> 00:14:01,373
Eddie.
275
00:14:01,473 --> 00:14:04,109
Joy? Oh, I...
276
00:14:04,210 --> 00:14:05,744
Must have misdialed.
277
00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:07,947
Oh, now that I got you,
how are you?
278
00:14:08,047 --> 00:14:10,349
Fine, how's your week
alone going?
279
00:14:10,449 --> 00:14:11,984
Fantastic.
280
00:14:13,118 --> 00:14:14,954
Every moment is
281
00:14:15,054 --> 00:14:17,156
filled with a new discovery.
282
00:14:20,025 --> 00:14:22,094
Did you know
there's a drawer
under the oven?
283
00:14:24,730 --> 00:14:26,332
Boy.
If I didn't know better,
284
00:14:26,432 --> 00:14:27,833
I'd think
you were calling me
because you missed me.
285
00:14:27,933 --> 00:14:30,269
(GUFFAWING)
286
00:14:30,369 --> 00:14:34,406
Thank you for bringing
laughter back into my life.
287
00:14:34,506 --> 00:14:38,878
Actually, I was calling to see
if you could extend your trip
for a few days,
288
00:14:38,978 --> 00:14:42,248
because it is off the hook
over here.
289
00:14:42,348 --> 00:14:45,217
I thought you were calling
'cause you were trying
to find a dentist.
290
00:14:45,317 --> 00:14:48,087
Shut up. I don't miss you.
Gotta go.
291
00:14:50,222 --> 00:14:51,523
(RAIN PATTERING)
292
00:14:53,459 --> 00:14:55,694
You know,
I'm kind of glad
it's still raining out.
293
00:14:55,794 --> 00:14:57,196
Indoor picnics
are way more romantic.
294
00:14:57,296 --> 00:14:58,330
Mmm.
295
00:14:58,430 --> 00:15:00,666
Plus, no awkward interruptions
like last time.
296
00:15:00,766 --> 00:15:02,134
Yeah, baby.
297
00:15:02,234 --> 00:15:03,936
You know, we really should
find a secret picnic spot
298
00:15:04,036 --> 00:15:06,772
that's not so close to
an assisted living facility.
299
00:15:06,872 --> 00:15:08,240
Though,
I would like to think
300
00:15:08,340 --> 00:15:09,942
we gave that old bastard
one last thrill.
301
00:15:17,516 --> 00:15:20,085
Okay, I just spilled hummus
on the floor there.
302
00:15:20,185 --> 00:15:21,620
It's okay, sweetie.
303
00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:23,255
You were going
for something.
304
00:15:31,964 --> 00:15:33,299
{\an8}(SCREAMS)
I know, baby,
305
00:15:33,399 --> 00:15:35,467
it's a whole lot of
man coming at you...
306
00:15:35,567 --> 00:15:37,670
There's a whole lot
of man at our door!
307
00:15:40,739 --> 00:15:43,309
I'm here for the picnic!
308
00:15:43,409 --> 00:15:45,444
Hey, hi!
309
00:15:45,544 --> 00:15:48,614
Eddie, hey, look, I know
I technically invited you
to the picnic,
310
00:15:48,714 --> 00:15:51,116
but it's kinda become
more of an intimate affair,
so you can just...
311
00:15:51,216 --> 00:15:53,719
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it.
It's a fake picnic on the rug.
312
00:15:53,819 --> 00:15:56,388
How whimsical. Scooch.
313
00:15:56,488 --> 00:15:58,090
Hey, honey.
314
00:15:59,291 --> 00:16:00,659
Help yourself.
315
00:16:00,759 --> 00:16:02,528
Well, this is nice, huh?
316
00:16:03,896 --> 00:16:06,532
Did I track the hummus
from outside?
317
00:16:08,033 --> 00:16:09,935
(STAMMERING)
No, I spilled it myself.
318
00:16:10,035 --> 00:16:14,440
But thanks for really
rubbing it in there.
That's good.
319
00:16:14,540 --> 00:16:18,010
Look at you kids.
Young, in love,
320
00:16:18,110 --> 00:16:21,180
going down the road
of life together.
321
00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:23,716
You're lucky
you're not alone.
322
00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:25,818
No one to talk to.
323
00:16:25,918 --> 00:16:28,454
No one to share
your thoughts with.
324
00:16:30,222 --> 00:16:31,323
Hey, Jeffy.
Yeah?
325
00:16:31,423 --> 00:16:32,891
Your barn door's open.
326
00:16:34,460 --> 00:16:35,694
I know it, Eddie.
327
00:16:35,794 --> 00:16:37,196
I opened it.
328
00:16:39,965 --> 00:16:41,467
Am I interrupting
something?
329
00:16:41,567 --> 00:16:43,469
Because I could just
go back to my house.
330
00:16:43,569 --> 00:16:45,237
Okay.
Alone.
331
00:16:47,906 --> 00:16:51,076
Get a glimpse of the life
that awaits me as a widower.
332
00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:57,349
Stephie, I want you
to promise me something.
333
00:16:58,617 --> 00:17:00,986
That you're gonna
take these moments
334
00:17:01,086 --> 00:17:04,023
to always reassure him
how much he means to you.
335
00:17:04,123 --> 00:17:07,292
And you, Mr. Jeffy?
I want you to tell her
336
00:17:07,393 --> 00:17:10,095
how much you miss her
every time she walks
out that door.
337
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:12,865
Because one day,
338
00:17:12,965 --> 00:17:15,167
she will not be around
anymore.
339
00:17:15,901 --> 00:17:17,069
You hear me?
340
00:17:18,570 --> 00:17:19,772
Go ahead.
341
00:17:20,472 --> 00:17:22,875
Make love.
342
00:17:22,975 --> 00:17:25,244
While you still
have each other
to make love to.
343
00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:53,906
Okay, I'm gonna skedaddle.
344
00:18:02,514 --> 00:18:04,216
Make love.
345
00:18:07,786 --> 00:18:09,354
Looks like you got
quite a haul there,
Joy.
346
00:18:09,455 --> 00:18:10,856
Well, yes, I did.
347
00:18:10,956 --> 00:18:12,057
I got a lot, too,
Jack.
348
00:18:12,157 --> 00:18:13,859
I think I cleaned up
an old crime scene.
349
00:18:13,959 --> 00:18:16,428
Look at all this
police tape.
350
00:18:16,528 --> 00:18:19,131
I got an old bloody
sock, Jack.
351
00:18:20,432 --> 00:18:22,568
Hey! That was from
my crime scene.
352
00:18:22,668 --> 00:18:26,505
Well, it appears someone
wasn't as thorough as
they should've been.
353
00:18:26,605 --> 00:18:29,141
Maybe you ladies should
just work this out on
your own.
354
00:18:29,241 --> 00:18:32,811
Well... Okay,
bye-bye, Jack.
355
00:18:32,911 --> 00:18:35,647
Oh, my God, Mom.
Are you flirting with him?
356
00:18:35,747 --> 00:18:36,648
(LAUGHING) What?
357
00:18:36,748 --> 00:18:38,650
That's crazy.
358
00:18:38,750 --> 00:18:40,352
You think he likes you.
359
00:18:40,452 --> 00:18:42,054
That's why we're here
and that's why you're
dressed
360
00:18:42,154 --> 00:18:44,156
like you're in
a Bollywood movie.
361
00:18:45,224 --> 00:18:46,859
Uh...
362
00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:50,462
Okay, maybe I was
flirting a little bit.
363
00:18:50,562 --> 00:18:51,597
What's wrong with that?
364
00:18:51,697 --> 00:18:54,333
What's wrong is
that he likes me.
365
00:18:54,433 --> 00:18:56,969
And you're married.
To Dad!
366
00:18:59,371 --> 00:19:01,974
Oh, God. You're right.
367
00:19:02,074 --> 00:19:04,376
(CHUCKLING)
I'm sorry, sweetie.
368
00:19:05,644 --> 00:19:07,579
I guess I just went
a little bit crazy.
369
00:19:07,679 --> 00:19:08,981
(LAUGHS)
370
00:19:09,081 --> 00:19:10,315
Look at me.
371
00:19:12,184 --> 00:19:16,288
I love Daddy. Of course
I wasn't gonna do anything.
372
00:19:16,388 --> 00:19:21,393
Honestly,
it just felt good to
have a little attention
373
00:19:21,493 --> 00:19:24,663
from a guy with a muscle
in his body.
374
00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:29,034
Ah, go for it.
He's all yours.
375
00:19:29,134 --> 00:19:30,435
Hey there, girls.
376
00:19:30,536 --> 00:19:32,871
Let me guess,
University of Miami.
377
00:19:35,107 --> 00:19:36,642
GIRLS: Hi, Jack.
378
00:19:39,845 --> 00:19:42,614
Oh, my God.
He flirts with everyone.
379
00:19:42,714 --> 00:19:46,351
All he cares about
is cleaning up the
environment.
380
00:19:46,451 --> 00:19:48,353
That son of a bitch.
381
00:19:50,556 --> 00:19:52,057
(STATIC ON TV)
382
00:19:58,363 --> 00:19:59,765
Dear God,
383
00:20:00,699 --> 00:20:02,267
it's me,
384
00:20:02,367 --> 00:20:04,503
Edward.
385
00:20:04,603 --> 00:20:07,306
I know we haven't
spoken in a while
and...
386
00:20:07,406 --> 00:20:10,309
I just want to say
that I'm sorry
387
00:20:10,409 --> 00:20:11,510
for those terrible
names I called you
388
00:20:11,610 --> 00:20:14,112
when I was passing
my kidney stone.
389
00:20:15,847 --> 00:20:19,585
In retrospect,
that must have
been very hurtful.
390
00:20:19,685 --> 00:20:23,956
And I'm also sorry
for the bad things
I said to my wife,
391
00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:27,759
but you didn't have to take
both her and TV from me.
392
00:20:29,761 --> 00:20:32,764
To take one or the other
would've been fair.
393
00:20:32,864 --> 00:20:35,100
{\an8}But both, quite frankly, is
394
00:20:35,867 --> 00:20:37,269
{\an8}showboating.
395
00:20:39,104 --> 00:20:40,072
{\an8}Eddie, I'm home!
396
00:20:40,172 --> 00:20:42,674
{\an8}Oh! Oh, did I miss you!
397
00:20:42,774 --> 00:20:43,842
{\an8}Look at... Come here.
398
00:20:43,942 --> 00:20:44,977
{\an8}(EXCLAIMS)
399
00:20:47,879 --> 00:20:49,448
{\an8}Did you miss me?
400
00:20:49,548 --> 00:20:50,616
{\an8}Yeah.
401
00:20:53,285 --> 00:20:55,687
{\an8}(MAN SPEAKING SPANISH ON TV)
402
00:20:55,787 --> 00:20:57,055
{\an8}(MUSIC ON TV)
403
00:20:57,155 --> 00:20:58,757
{\an8}Gracias, mi dios.
30480
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