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1
00:00:00,633 --> 00:00:01,468
♪ All right!
2
00:00:01,568 --> 00:00:02,736
♪ Hey!
3
00:00:02,836 --> 00:00:05,005
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! ♪
4
00:00:41,341 --> 00:00:42,409
{\an8}JOY: Eddie!
5
00:00:49,315 --> 00:00:51,484
{\an8}That's it.
I can't take it anymore.
6
00:00:51,584 --> 00:00:53,086
{\an8}Hey, look,
don't give me that crap.
7
00:00:53,186 --> 00:00:55,188
{\an8}You think
it's easy for me?
8
00:00:55,288 --> 00:00:58,725
{\an8}All right, catch me up.
What are we fighting about?
9
00:00:58,825 --> 00:01:02,228
{\an8}I just smashed my toe
on that stupid
wood pile of yours.
10
00:01:02,328 --> 00:01:04,330
{\an8}Well, you got big feet
like your father.
11
00:01:04,431 --> 00:01:06,299
{\an8}Take it up with him.
12
00:01:06,399 --> 00:01:08,601
{\an8}Eddie, let me bottom-line
this for you.
13
00:01:08,701 --> 00:01:10,570
{\an8}The wood, it's gone!
14
00:01:10,670 --> 00:01:12,439
{\an8}Are you crazy?
I need that wood.
15
00:01:12,539 --> 00:01:14,641
{\an8}If something wood-related
goes wrong around here,
16
00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:18,611
{\an8}I need a wide variety
of lumber at the ready.
17
00:01:18,711 --> 00:01:21,648
{\an8}How about if you ever actually
need a piece of wood,
18
00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:23,783
{\an8}you just go out and buy it?
19
00:01:23,883 --> 00:01:28,488
{\an8}Do you have any idea
how long it takes
to buy a piece of wood?
20
00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:31,691
{\an8}-No, Eddie. How long...
-Three hours, okay?
21
00:01:31,791 --> 00:01:35,228
{\an8}That includes drive time,
parking, and wood selection.
22
00:01:35,328 --> 00:01:38,832
{\an8}And then you have to
add another hour to go by
the pet emporium next door.
23
00:01:39,632 --> 00:01:41,000
Why do you need to do that?
24
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:43,369
I defy you to walk by
that puppy tank
25
00:01:43,470 --> 00:01:46,005
and not want to dive in
head first.
26
00:01:47,407 --> 00:01:49,476
Why are we even
debating this?
27
00:01:49,576 --> 00:01:51,244
You have been piling up wood
in the garage
for the past 20 years,
28
00:01:51,344 --> 00:01:53,046
and you have done nothing
with it.
29
00:01:53,146 --> 00:01:55,782
Let's face it,
you're not a wood guy.
30
00:01:58,751 --> 00:02:01,521
How dare you?
31
00:02:01,621 --> 00:02:05,358
You know that as a boy
I built that cabin
with my father.
32
00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:07,560
Oh, great. We're gonna
hear about the cabin again.
33
00:02:07,660 --> 00:02:11,531
Oh, I'm sorry to bore you
with the defining moment
of my childhood,
34
00:02:11,631 --> 00:02:14,834
but I built that wood cabin
with my father
35
00:02:14,934 --> 00:02:16,736
with our bare hands.
36
00:02:16,836 --> 00:02:20,540
And if my Uncle Gus hadn't
played it fast and loose
with the space heater,
37
00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:22,408
we'd be there right now.
38
00:02:22,509 --> 00:02:25,545
Okay, so besides
the famous cabin,
39
00:02:25,645 --> 00:02:27,514
you've done nothing, huh?
40
00:02:27,614 --> 00:02:29,849
How many projects
were you gonna start
over the years?
41
00:02:29,949 --> 00:02:32,318
The pantry shelf,
the shoe rack,
42
00:02:32,418 --> 00:02:34,821
the new screen door
for the back.
43
00:02:34,921 --> 00:02:37,257
I did measure for that.
44
00:02:37,357 --> 00:02:39,359
That's gonna be tricky.
45
00:02:39,459 --> 00:02:42,195
Eddie, build something
with your wood,
build anything.
46
00:02:42,295 --> 00:02:43,363
Oh, I'll build something.
47
00:02:43,463 --> 00:02:45,765
Not in the next 20 years.
Tomorrow.
48
00:02:45,865 --> 00:02:46,933
I'm gonna be at work all day.
49
00:02:47,033 --> 00:02:48,868
Build something
by the time I get home,
50
00:02:48,968 --> 00:02:51,905
or I'm having it hauled off
on Monday.
51
00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:53,339
Now, that, my friend,
52
00:02:53,439 --> 00:02:55,708
sounds like a wood ultimatum.
53
00:02:56,776 --> 00:02:59,612
Oh, a wood ultimatum.
54
00:02:59,712 --> 00:03:01,347
I like it.
55
00:03:01,447 --> 00:03:04,083
That's the first
creative thing you've ever
done with wood.
56
00:03:04,918 --> 00:03:06,886
♪ Hey, hey, hey!
57
00:03:07,554 --> 00:03:08,821
♪ Ow!
58
00:03:08,922 --> 00:03:10,123
♪ Oh, oh, yeah! ♪
59
00:03:10,223 --> 00:03:11,724
Okay, I'm going.
60
00:03:20,166 --> 00:03:21,301
Wow.
61
00:03:21,834 --> 00:03:23,369
Yeah, it's real.
62
00:03:25,171 --> 00:03:27,707
A whole lot of sexy going on.
63
00:03:29,108 --> 00:03:31,377
You're wearing my shorts.
Nice.
64
00:03:40,486 --> 00:03:42,155
That's good.
65
00:03:42,255 --> 00:03:44,123
Enjoy yourself.
But I assure you,
66
00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:46,893
when you return
to see what I have built,
67
00:03:46,993 --> 00:03:48,494
your laughter
will be replaced
68
00:03:48,595 --> 00:03:51,164
by girlish squeals
of delight.
69
00:03:52,532 --> 00:03:53,800
I doubt that.
70
00:03:54,867 --> 00:03:56,336
What are you building,
anyway?
71
00:03:56,436 --> 00:03:58,104
Well, I'll give you one hint.
72
00:03:58,204 --> 00:04:02,575
It may or it may not
rhyme with jafuzzi.
73
00:04:06,980 --> 00:04:09,649
All right, drive safe.
Hands at 10:00 and 2:00.
74
00:04:13,686 --> 00:04:16,856
You know, I actually
don't have to hit the road
quite yet.
75
00:04:16,956 --> 00:04:20,693
I might have a few minutes
to watch a master craftsman
at work.
76
00:04:20,793 --> 00:04:22,328
Oh. Fine by me.
77
00:04:23,129 --> 00:04:24,364
(WHIRRING)
78
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:42,348
Timber!
79
00:04:46,753 --> 00:04:47,854
Look at that.
80
00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:50,490
You turned one piece of crap
into two.
81
00:04:53,993 --> 00:04:55,762
I'm gonna go.
82
00:04:55,862 --> 00:04:59,766
Oh, hey, since this
might be the last time
I see you with thumbs,
83
00:04:59,866 --> 00:05:01,501
give me one of these.
84
00:05:05,938 --> 00:05:07,907
Don't worry about me.
85
00:05:08,007 --> 00:05:09,208
I know what I'm doing.
86
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:10,877
I'm in my element.
87
00:05:10,977 --> 00:05:13,780
Like a duck on a pond.
88
00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:15,982
Yeah, for me
there's nothing like the feel
89
00:05:16,082 --> 00:05:18,885
of soft, buttery wood.
90
00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:20,420
(LAUGHS)
91
00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:24,524
That's gonna need
a special Band-Aid.
92
00:05:25,258 --> 00:05:26,993
Oh, yeah!
93
00:05:30,363 --> 00:05:31,964
(SAW JAMMING)
94
00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:43,476
Hey, neighbor.
95
00:05:44,310 --> 00:05:45,645
What do you want,
Woodcock?
96
00:05:45,745 --> 00:05:48,548
Nothing.
Just thought I'd pop over,
do my neighbor thing.
97
00:05:48,648 --> 00:05:50,116
(MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)
98
00:05:50,216 --> 00:05:52,418
I didn't know you were
a Tejano guy.
99
00:05:52,518 --> 00:05:54,954
Uh, this painting crew
left this radio behind
100
00:05:55,054 --> 00:05:56,789
with the dial
painted stuck.
101
00:05:58,491 --> 00:06:00,660
I don't speak the language,
but I'm 98% sure
102
00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:03,262
that that song
is about infidelity.
103
00:06:07,934 --> 00:06:09,369
Well, what you building?
104
00:06:09,469 --> 00:06:11,170
I don't know what the hell
I'm building, okay?
105
00:06:11,270 --> 00:06:13,439
What's with
all the questions?
106
00:06:14,006 --> 00:06:15,675
Who sent you here?
107
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:20,747
Nobody. Jeez, I'm sorry.
108
00:06:20,847 --> 00:06:23,950
I heard the music.
I thought you were grilling.
109
00:06:25,952 --> 00:06:27,420
I'm gonna go.
110
00:06:29,355 --> 00:06:31,791
Wait, wait, wait.
Hold on a second, Woodcock.
111
00:06:31,891 --> 00:06:34,761
Listen, you're a young
strapping fellow
from Minnesota.
112
00:06:34,861 --> 00:06:36,329
I bet that
you've raised a barn
113
00:06:36,429 --> 00:06:39,198
or built a butter churn
or something.
114
00:06:39,298 --> 00:06:42,869
I think you're confusing
people from Minnesota
with the Amish.
115
00:06:42,969 --> 00:06:45,772
All right, look, Joy gave me
a wood ultimatum,
116
00:06:45,872 --> 00:06:47,240
and if I don't build
something by today,
117
00:06:47,340 --> 00:06:49,342
all my wood goes.
118
00:06:49,442 --> 00:06:50,543
And I gotta
be honest with you.
119
00:06:50,643 --> 00:06:52,178
I don't know
what the hell I'm doing.
120
00:06:52,278 --> 00:06:54,046
What do you mean?
121
00:06:54,147 --> 00:06:56,082
I thought you build
that cabin with your dad
with your bare hands.
122
00:06:56,182 --> 00:06:58,518
Well, I did, I did.
123
00:06:58,618 --> 00:07:00,153
But the more
I think about it,
124
00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:01,454
the only thing
my dad let me do
125
00:07:01,554 --> 00:07:04,657
was hold his beer
and make sure
that no bees got in it.
126
00:07:07,059 --> 00:07:09,729
All right, well, this may be
a stupid question,
127
00:07:09,829 --> 00:07:12,365
but if you can't build
anything and Joy wants
all the wood gone,
128
00:07:12,465 --> 00:07:14,300
why don't you
just get rid of it?
129
00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:17,804
You're correct. That is
a stupid question.
130
00:07:17,904 --> 00:07:19,105
Because if I
get rid of my wood,
131
00:07:19,205 --> 00:07:22,408
that means
she had been right
for 20 years,
132
00:07:22,508 --> 00:07:24,644
and that can't be.
133
00:07:26,579 --> 00:07:28,047
I'm sorry.
I wish I could help you,
134
00:07:28,147 --> 00:07:30,383
but I don't know any more
about wood than you.
135
00:07:30,483 --> 00:07:31,918
Yeah, but look,
we're two smart guys.
136
00:07:32,018 --> 00:07:33,352
I'm sure if we put
our heads together,
137
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:35,354
we can build
something great.
138
00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:38,357
{\an5}-Really?
-Yes. You're a man.
139
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:40,326
And when one man
asks another man
140
00:07:40,426 --> 00:07:42,595
to assist him in a home
improvement project,
141
00:07:42,695 --> 00:07:45,231
there can only be
one answer,
"Hell, yes!"
142
00:07:45,331 --> 00:07:47,300
Now sock up,
pick up a tool,
143
00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:48,868
{\an5}-and start banging on stuff.
-All right.
144
00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:51,037
You know what? You're right.
You're right. I'm in. I'm in.
145
00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:53,172
{\an5}-That's what
we're talking about.
-Yeah, I'm talking about that.
146
00:07:53,272 --> 00:07:54,774
{\an5}-Do you feel good?
-Yeah, I feel good, you know.
147
00:07:54,874 --> 00:07:56,843
{\an5}-Can we do this?
-We can do it.
148
00:07:56,943 --> 00:07:59,545
{\an5}-Because we're men.
Are we men?
-We are men!
149
00:07:59,645 --> 00:08:01,380
{\an5}-You're damn right
we're men.
-Yeah, we are!
150
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,282
Now let's take off
our shirts!
151
00:08:03,382 --> 00:08:05,718
{\an5}-Yeah! Yeah!
-Yeah! Yeah!
152
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:15,394
Okay, shirts back on.
153
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,096
Shirts back on!
154
00:08:28,307 --> 00:08:30,409
That was really
uncomfortable.
155
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:32,745
Yeah. That one's on me.
156
00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:38,784
Easy.
157
00:08:40,219 --> 00:08:43,356
Easy! I'm seeing nail.
158
00:08:43,456 --> 00:08:44,423
You missed the shelf.
159
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:46,359
Well, hold it straight!
160
00:08:46,459 --> 00:08:47,593
I am
holding it straight.
161
00:08:47,693 --> 00:08:50,062
You're nailing cock-eyed.
162
00:08:50,162 --> 00:08:51,364
Do you want
to hammer again, huh?
163
00:08:51,464 --> 00:08:54,600
You know I can't.
My thumbs are
gigantic targets.
164
00:08:56,135 --> 00:08:59,572
Okay.
Hold it.
You split the wood.
165
00:08:59,672 --> 00:09:02,508
Well, that was
our last long nail.
166
00:09:02,608 --> 00:09:05,545
Okay, I'll just put
some wood putty on it.
167
00:09:05,645 --> 00:09:06,946
How we doing time-wise?
168
00:09:07,046 --> 00:09:08,080
It's 6:00.
169
00:09:08,180 --> 00:09:10,483
Oh, God. Okay, Joy's gonna
be home in one hour.
170
00:09:10,583 --> 00:09:11,951
Let's just get her
on her feet
171
00:09:12,051 --> 00:09:13,553
and we'll start painting.
172
00:09:13,653 --> 00:09:15,454
All right.
All right, lift it up.
173
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:16,756
Okay.
174
00:09:17,323 --> 00:09:18,691
Easy.
175
00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:21,794
Okay.
176
00:09:23,462 --> 00:09:25,765
All right,
put the level on it.
177
00:09:25,865 --> 00:09:28,768
{\an5}-You don't need the level.
It's...
-Just get the level.
178
00:09:35,441 --> 00:09:37,777
Where's the bubble?
179
00:09:37,877 --> 00:09:39,145
There's no bubble.
180
00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:40,980
Eddie, there's no bubble
because it's not level.
181
00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:45,117
Okay, look. Do me a favor.
Lose the attitude
and help me.
182
00:09:45,217 --> 00:09:48,354
Okay? We just have
to tweak it a little.
183
00:09:48,454 --> 00:09:51,924
Just... Okay, come this way.
Easy. Okay, careful.
184
00:09:52,024 --> 00:09:54,594
All right. I'm feeling
a little play in it.
She's fighting me.
185
00:09:54,694 --> 00:09:56,162
She's fighting me.
Foot it.
186
00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:57,663
{\an5}-Put your foot on it.
-All right, I'm doing it.
187
00:09:57,763 --> 00:10:00,733
{\an5}-Foot it! Foot it!
-I got it.
I'm footing it.
188
00:10:00,833 --> 00:10:02,969
There's the bubble.
189
00:10:03,069 --> 00:10:04,370
{\an5}-Come on.
-Eddie, I'm starting to
hear...
190
00:10:04,470 --> 00:10:06,439
{\an5}-Come on, little buddy.
-I'm hearing some cracking.
191
00:10:06,539 --> 00:10:08,741
I'll slap some putty on it.
192
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:16,015
Okay. Well, you know what?
193
00:10:16,115 --> 00:10:19,151
Here. Let's just...
Let's just lay it down,
okay?
194
00:10:19,251 --> 00:10:21,754
We'll lay it down,
and...
195
00:10:21,854 --> 00:10:26,125
Yeah, it'll be
a nice sandbox
for children.
196
00:10:26,225 --> 00:10:28,094
It's fun.
197
00:10:28,194 --> 00:10:29,862
Seems kind of dangerous
with all those nails
sticking out.
198
00:10:29,962 --> 00:10:31,797
Okay, then it'll be a planter.
199
00:10:31,897 --> 00:10:33,399
How about that, huh?
We'll put some dirt in it
200
00:10:33,499 --> 00:10:34,900
and some
beautiful plants
201
00:10:35,001 --> 00:10:36,602
and it'll be
a delightful planter.
202
00:10:36,702 --> 00:10:38,437
I'm gonna grow tomatoes.
203
00:10:43,175 --> 00:10:45,011
Okay. It's okay. It's okay.
204
00:10:45,111 --> 00:10:46,312
It's a... It's a...
205
00:10:46,412 --> 00:10:48,347
Pile of wood again, Eddie.
206
00:10:51,384 --> 00:10:53,252
I'll putty it.
207
00:10:53,352 --> 00:10:54,954
Hey, you two.
208
00:10:55,054 --> 00:10:56,856
I brought some lemonade.
209
00:10:56,956 --> 00:10:58,824
So how's it going
over here?
210
00:10:58,924 --> 00:11:01,360
My big carpenter man
211
00:11:01,460 --> 00:11:02,828
working with wood.
212
00:11:02,928 --> 00:11:04,897
Yeah, put him on
a roll of Brawny towels.
213
00:11:04,997 --> 00:11:06,565
He's a dead ringer.
214
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:08,534
What's the matter, Eddie,
not having fun?
215
00:11:08,634 --> 00:11:10,736
No, next-door girl,
I am not.
216
00:11:10,836 --> 00:11:12,638
Well, that's 'cause
you haven't started yet.
217
00:11:12,738 --> 00:11:14,040
It's still just a big pile.
218
00:11:14,140 --> 00:11:15,574
Honey, honey.
Careful, careful.
219
00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:17,810
Well, let me know
if I can help.
220
00:11:17,910 --> 00:11:20,179
{\an5}-I love woodworking.
-You do?
221
00:11:20,279 --> 00:11:21,981
Oh, yeah. I mean, I used to.
222
00:11:22,081 --> 00:11:24,717
Every summer I did
woodshop at Camp Honeybell.
223
00:11:24,817 --> 00:11:27,186
♪ Ring the bell, bell, bell
224
00:11:27,286 --> 00:11:29,522
♪ We are Camp Honeybell,
we are bus... ♪
225
00:11:29,622 --> 00:11:31,524
Okay, that's lovely.
226
00:11:31,624 --> 00:11:33,059
That's lovely, darling.
227
00:11:33,159 --> 00:11:35,461
Uh, look...
228
00:11:35,561 --> 00:11:38,097
Tell me everything
you know about wood.
229
00:11:45,104 --> 00:11:46,806
Hello, Eddie.
230
00:11:46,906 --> 00:11:48,808
Madam.
231
00:11:48,908 --> 00:11:50,142
From the looks of it
out there,
232
00:11:50,242 --> 00:11:53,079
there actually seems
to have been
some woodworking today.
233
00:11:53,179 --> 00:11:54,447
That's right.
234
00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:57,616
Tool were used,
boards were cut,
235
00:11:57,717 --> 00:12:01,087
the line between man
and wood was blurred.
236
00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:06,325
I promised you
a project made of wood,
237
00:12:06,425 --> 00:12:08,260
and you doubted me.
238
00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:10,730
But doubt me no more.
239
00:12:10,830 --> 00:12:12,698
Boom! Make some room!
240
00:12:23,375 --> 00:12:24,777
What is that?
241
00:12:26,445 --> 00:12:28,314
It's a pig.
242
00:12:29,482 --> 00:12:31,784
I can see that it's a pig.
243
00:12:31,884 --> 00:12:34,386
What exactly
does one do with this?
244
00:12:39,125 --> 00:12:40,960
Well, it's a...
245
00:12:41,060 --> 00:12:44,930
There's obviously
the cutting board aspect
of the pig.
246
00:12:45,030 --> 00:12:48,467
Uh, it could be
a fancy cheese tray
247
00:12:48,567 --> 00:12:50,903
or a decorative
knickknack,
248
00:12:51,003 --> 00:12:54,673
or placed in the hands
of a creative child,
249
00:12:55,674 --> 00:12:57,476
a passport to adventure.
250
00:13:01,914 --> 00:13:04,550
Perhaps you could start
assembling a cheese tray
251
00:13:04,650 --> 00:13:07,019
while you formulate
your apology.
252
00:13:09,655 --> 00:13:11,457
Let me just
get this straight.
253
00:13:11,557 --> 00:13:12,892
For the past 20 years,
254
00:13:12,992 --> 00:13:15,261
you have been
pulling over on highways,
255
00:13:15,361 --> 00:13:18,864
you have been sneaking
into our neighbors'
garbage cans,
256
00:13:18,964 --> 00:13:21,967
you have been trespassing
on construction sites
257
00:13:22,067 --> 00:13:23,569
all to gather up wood,
258
00:13:23,669 --> 00:13:25,838
which has been piling up
in our home,
259
00:13:25,938 --> 00:13:29,175
endangering
the well-being
of our family,
260
00:13:29,275 --> 00:13:30,476
all so that one day
261
00:13:30,576 --> 00:13:32,845
you could build a pig.
262
00:13:35,848 --> 00:13:37,550
It makes me smile.
263
00:13:40,219 --> 00:13:43,522
Eddie, we're getting rid
of the wood.
264
00:13:44,323 --> 00:13:45,624
(JINGLE PLAYING)
265
00:14:07,046 --> 00:14:08,280
Keep it together.
266
00:14:24,730 --> 00:14:26,465
Who the hell are you?
267
00:14:26,565 --> 00:14:28,400
Hi. I'm Greg.
268
00:14:28,500 --> 00:14:32,238
Your wife hired me
to fix this door, and do
some stuff around the house.
269
00:14:38,644 --> 00:14:40,412
That's good.
270
00:14:40,512 --> 00:14:43,015
Doesn't bother me.
271
00:14:43,115 --> 00:14:45,651
I'm comfortable
with who I am as a man.
272
00:14:47,019 --> 00:14:50,055
I was 6'8"
by the 7th grade.
273
00:14:50,155 --> 00:14:53,092
I could ride
roller coasters
when I was 3.
274
00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:55,995
I'm all man.
275
00:14:57,630 --> 00:14:59,798
100% hombre!
276
00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:02,668
Okay.
277
00:15:16,081 --> 00:15:18,150
What do you got there,
a chuckless drill?
278
00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:21,854
{\an5}-What?
-Uh, cordless?
279
00:15:21,954 --> 00:15:24,723
Three-quarter bit?
Yeah, what's your torque
on that, 550?
280
00:15:24,823 --> 00:15:27,493
750? Upside down capable?
281
00:15:30,262 --> 00:15:33,065
You're saying words,
but they don't mean anything.
282
00:15:40,439 --> 00:15:42,007
Oh, really?
283
00:15:43,108 --> 00:15:45,010
Well, check this out.
284
00:15:48,681 --> 00:15:51,417
What do you think
of this craftsmanship, huh?
285
00:15:51,517 --> 00:15:53,652
What is that?
286
00:15:53,752 --> 00:15:55,888
It's a passport
to adventure.
287
00:15:58,857 --> 00:16:01,527
Hey, would you hand me
that dovetail jig?
288
00:16:02,661 --> 00:16:04,029
Um...
289
00:16:13,072 --> 00:16:15,941
It's right there
next to the biscuit joiner.
290
00:16:18,110 --> 00:16:20,212
I don't know
what that is either, okay?
291
00:16:20,312 --> 00:16:22,114
I don't know
what any of this is.
292
00:16:22,214 --> 00:16:24,249
They took my wood pile!
293
00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:27,019
Are you happy, Greg?
294
00:16:35,961 --> 00:16:38,263
Hey, remind me
to get some more sugar.
295
00:16:38,364 --> 00:16:41,033
Why don't you just
get Greg to get it?
296
00:16:42,634 --> 00:16:44,803
Or maybe he can
chop down some sugarcane
297
00:16:44,903 --> 00:16:47,439
and squeeze it out
with his dovetail jig.
298
00:16:49,808 --> 00:16:51,844
Eddie, will you stop it?
299
00:16:51,944 --> 00:16:54,179
I hired a guy
to fix a few things.
300
00:16:54,279 --> 00:16:56,081
It's no reflection on you.
301
00:16:56,181 --> 00:16:59,418
I know. Couldn't have
fixed them anyway.
302
00:16:59,518 --> 00:17:00,986
Come on, you haven't
been yourself all week.
303
00:17:01,086 --> 00:17:03,856
Ever since we got rid
of that wood pile.
304
00:17:03,956 --> 00:17:05,691
I don't know what you mean.
305
00:17:05,791 --> 00:17:07,126
What do you
want me to say?
306
00:17:07,226 --> 00:17:10,029
I love the freaking pig.
307
00:17:10,129 --> 00:17:13,732
He's a beautiful,
well-crafted
piece of wood.
308
00:17:13,832 --> 00:17:16,201
You're right.
He is all those things,
309
00:17:16,301 --> 00:17:19,138
and I didn't even make him.
The girl next door did.
310
00:17:20,339 --> 00:17:21,673
{\an5}-What?
-That's right.
311
00:17:21,774 --> 00:17:24,977
So get him out of here
and bring it back
to the girl.
312
00:17:25,077 --> 00:17:28,113
I'm no longer deluded
about who I am.
313
00:17:28,213 --> 00:17:30,749
I'm just an underpaid
high school teacher
314
00:17:30,849 --> 00:17:34,887
who will eventually die
and be buried in a coffin
315
00:17:34,987 --> 00:17:36,522
I did not make.
316
00:17:40,859 --> 00:17:42,261
(DOORBELL RINGING)
317
00:17:44,797 --> 00:17:46,398
Hey, Joy.
318
00:17:46,498 --> 00:17:49,735
Get your evil pig
out of my house.
319
00:17:49,835 --> 00:17:51,904
Why would I want
this delightful cutting board
320
00:17:52,004 --> 00:17:54,273
that your husband
made for you?
321
00:17:56,275 --> 00:17:58,744
It's driving Eddie insane,
and he told me you made it.
322
00:17:58,844 --> 00:18:00,779
Oh. He said
to keep that secret.
323
00:18:00,879 --> 00:18:02,414
He scared me pretty good,
324
00:18:02,514 --> 00:18:05,217
and he's, like,
the biggest person
I've ever seen.
325
00:18:06,852 --> 00:18:08,420
Anyway, you should take it.
326
00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:11,990
Okay.
I'll just stick the little guy
in here then.
327
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:13,492
We have a little
storage issue
328
00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:15,961
since the rest
of our stuff came.
329
00:18:18,430 --> 00:18:20,466
So you really love
to kayak, huh?
330
00:18:20,566 --> 00:18:22,167
It's Jeff's. It's his dream
331
00:18:22,267 --> 00:18:25,571
to kayak down
every Class 4 rapid
in North America.
332
00:18:25,671 --> 00:18:28,073
Wow. How many
has he done so far?
333
00:18:28,173 --> 00:18:29,875
None.
334
00:18:29,975 --> 00:18:32,377
In fact, since I've known him,
I don't think he's been in it.
335
00:18:32,478 --> 00:18:34,480
Well, except the one time
I got up in the middle
of the night
336
00:18:34,580 --> 00:18:37,516
to grab a glass of water
and he was sitting in it nude.
337
00:18:37,616 --> 00:18:39,485
Even though
we saw each other,
338
00:18:39,585 --> 00:18:41,553
we never acknowledged it.
339
00:18:45,224 --> 00:18:46,892
This may be
none of my business,
340
00:18:46,992 --> 00:18:50,195
but seeing as you
need the room
and he doesn't use it,
341
00:18:50,295 --> 00:18:51,930
why don't you just
make him get rid of it?
342
00:18:52,030 --> 00:18:53,132
I don't know.
343
00:18:53,232 --> 00:18:54,867
I know
Jeff will never kayak,
344
00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:56,468
but he loves that thing.
345
00:18:56,568 --> 00:18:59,304
In his mind,
he's outdoor kayak guy.
346
00:18:59,404 --> 00:19:00,739
You take that away,
it's like ripping away
347
00:19:00,839 --> 00:19:03,075
part of the man
he wants to be.
348
00:19:06,445 --> 00:19:08,447
Well, that ain't right.
349
00:19:20,759 --> 00:19:22,427
What you doing?
350
00:19:22,528 --> 00:19:25,631
Just staring at the stain
where my wood used to be.
351
00:19:27,399 --> 00:19:29,401
You know, if you listen
really closely,
352
00:19:29,501 --> 00:19:32,838
you can hear the humming
of a termite infestation.
353
00:19:32,938 --> 00:19:34,473
They're all around us.
354
00:19:38,911 --> 00:19:42,781
Guess what I found
in Terry and Carla's
trash can.
355
00:19:43,682 --> 00:19:45,017
Now, why would you
give me that?
356
00:19:45,117 --> 00:19:47,052
What is that,
some kind of sick joke?
357
00:19:47,152 --> 00:19:50,022
No. I just realized
how much the wood pile
meant to you,
358
00:19:50,122 --> 00:19:52,057
and I thought you might
want to start it again.
359
00:19:52,157 --> 00:19:53,692
Nah, give it to the girl.
360
00:19:53,792 --> 00:19:55,494
She's the future.
361
00:19:57,095 --> 00:19:59,264
Eddie, listen to me.
362
00:19:59,364 --> 00:20:00,699
I saw you
in that tool belt,
363
00:20:00,799 --> 00:20:03,669
and I saw a man who knows
how to work with wood.
364
00:20:03,769 --> 00:20:06,638
The problem wasn't you.
The problem was
365
00:20:06,738 --> 00:20:09,474
you didn't have
the proper tools.
366
00:20:17,816 --> 00:20:19,785
Oh, boy.
367
00:20:19,885 --> 00:20:22,054
The guy at the store said
you could cut through
just about anything with this.
368
00:20:22,154 --> 00:20:23,689
Oh, and I will.
369
00:20:24,923 --> 00:20:26,925
Oh, it's...
This is amazing.
370
00:20:27,025 --> 00:20:30,996
You know, I did kind of
feel a little held back
by my equipment.
371
00:20:31,997 --> 00:20:33,432
You were.
372
00:20:34,032 --> 00:20:36,468
You need your wood.
373
00:20:36,568 --> 00:20:39,671
Honestly, Eddie,
I miss the man you were
374
00:20:39,771 --> 00:20:41,840
when you had
your wood pile.
375
00:20:44,543 --> 00:20:45,811
Come here.
376
00:20:45,911 --> 00:20:49,348
I don't know what to say.
Thank you.
377
00:20:54,319 --> 00:20:56,355
Can't wait
to show this to Greg.
378
00:21:02,227 --> 00:21:03,862
{\an8}(SAW WHIRRING)
379
00:21:16,508 --> 00:21:18,510
{\an8}That's what
I'm talking about.
380
00:21:21,446 --> 00:21:25,150
{\an8}Ah, she doesn't
ride it anyway.
29701
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