All language subtitles for The LONE Gunmen - Ep. 07 - Planet of the Frohikes (576p - DVDRip)

To die, to sleep;

Perchance, to dream:
ay, there's the rub;

For in that sleep of death
what dreams may come.

When we have shuffled
off this mortal coil,

Must give us pause;
there's the respect.

That makes calamity
of so long life;

For who would bear the
whips and scorns of time,

The oppressofs wrong,
the proud man's contumely,

The pangs of despised
love, the law's delay,

The insolence of
office and the spurns.

That patient merit
of the unworthy takes,

When he himself
might his quietus make.

With a bare bodkin?

Who would fardels bear,

To grunt and sweat
under a weary life,

But that the dread of
something after death,

The undiscover'd
country from whose bourn.

No traveller returns...

- There you are.
- What the hell are you doing here?

Checking out the digs.

Sweet.

- The bathroom's got a water fountain.
- That's a bidet.

Tomayto, tomalto. Being
a dragon lady must pay big.

What the hell are you doing
here? How did you find me?

- That weird obsession with anagrams.
- Some would call it a fetish.

I've a program that searches
the letters of Yves Adele Harlow.

We ran it through every database
we could think of, and voila.

One Sarah Lee Weyvol
turned up registered at this hotel.

- Living large.
- Get out, now.

First, explain this.

- What is it?
- You tell us.

Look, don't play dumb, Yves.

You sent us this email. Admit it. It's
yet another one of your mind games.

You hit us with that misterioso
bit to get us on the case,

then we do the work.
Happens every time.

Only this time...

Who's the frog?

You morons.

- What are you doing?
- Leaving. I suggest you do the same.

God's sake, did you
consider the elevator?

Three men are
riding up it right now.

When they get here,
they'll kill everyone present,

thanks to the way
you've mucked things up.

Do we believe her?

What do we do now?

Grab every sheet and
towel you can find. Hurry.

I hope you're happy.

Do I look happy?

If I were to describe
for you the breadth and

scope of the scam
you blew for me tonight,

the millions you two cost me,

your little pea brains
would spin inside their skulls.

- Wow.
- Who the hell were those guys, anyway?

I'm asking the questions now.

What was so important that
you had to interrupt my work?

Did you, or did you
not, send us this?

For the tenth time, what is it?

You seriously don't know?

Our mistake.

- Never mind.
- Frohike.

I'll be flossing chunks of
your scalp from my teeth

if you don't tell me right this
second what it is you're on about.

It's an email we received. It
came as a text and audio file.

Play her the audio.

Gentlemen. I'm in
desperate need of help.

I'm familiar with the work you do,
defending democracy in all its forms.

Therefore, I beg you
to consider my situation.

I am, for lack of a
better word, a slave.

I am being held captive by a
cadre of government scientists

who work for the
Department of Defense.

They subject me
to a daily regimen of

humiliating tests which
rob me of my dignity.

And I am not alone. There
are many others just like me.

We are victims of experimentation
meant to alter the structure of our brains.

Don't allow me to die in this
hateful and immoral captivity.

Please, help me to escape.

So? What do you think?

I think that's Edward Woodward.

Edward Woodward, the actor.

He played The Equalizer on TV.

The guy from The Equalizer is
being held by government scientists?

No. I think perhaps somebody's
having a bit of fun with you.

This Equalizer guy... Why is
he messing with our heads?

I don't think it's really
Edward Woodward.

Someone must have sampled his
voice and constructed this message.

- It's a pretty neat bit of programming.
- So, the whole thing's a big joke?

In the text attachment, he says the
scientists call him by a slave name.

- "Peanuts".
- Peanuts.

He asks us to bring a
pair of bolt cutters and

meet him at one o'clock
on Friday afternoon.

He'll be behind the fence

at the western end of the Boulle Behavioral
Laboratory in Richmond, Massachusetts.

I backtraced the email. It originated from
the Boulle Laboratory, whatever that is.

But when I tried to crack into
the server, I hit a DOD firewall.

Heavy military security.

I think it merits a
trip to Massachusetts.

On the off chance it's true, it'd
be a scoop for The Lone Gunman.

- Yeah. I say we do it.
- I'm coming with you.

You owe me. Big time.

Doctor Hasslip.

Doctor Hass-lip.

That's me. Hass-lip.

Now let's spell your names.

We'll start with Peanuts.

P-e-a-n-u-t-s.

Peanuts.

That's your name.

Peanuts, I think you know
more than you're letting on.

Dr Hasslip?

May I have a word with you, sir?

Wait a minute. What exactly
are you accusing me of?

I'm not accusing you. I'm informing
you that an unauthorised email

was sent from this facility, and
that your password was used.

At the time it was
sent, you were in my

presence in the lunch
room, so it wasn't you.

No. No, it wasn't.
Where was it sent from?

We can't determine that. I'd appreciate
you keeping your eyes and ears open.

So. Where did we leave off? I...

Three minutes to one.

Something's happening.

You figure that guy's Peanuts?

Well, if so, they got him dressed
like a waiter from TGI Friday's.

- What in the hell?
- What's with the monkeys?

- Where's the slaves?
- We've been had.

Maybe. These primates could be
part of some research programme.

I seriously doubt it.
Let's just go home.

- Let me see those, would you?
- Yeah, you might have family here.

Guys, I think that's Peanuts.

Jimmy, it's a chimp.

I know. But look.

He's looking right at us.

He looks like he's
looking right at us.

He just waved to us.

Look, he did it again.

You're not saying a chimpanzee
emailed us, are you, Jimmy?

He said they named him Peanuts.

If I had a monkey,
I'd name him Peanuts.

Or maybe Admiral Peanuts.

If what I'm saying is so stupid,
how come Yves isn't laughing?

You believe me, don't you?

- What are you doing?
- What I came here to do.

Jimmy.

Jimmy, get back here.

Peanuts?

Peanuts?

Come on.

Oh, crap.

Halt. Halt.

Licence plate.

Dammit. Dammit, we never leave
a man behind. Not even Jimmy.

Guys.

They're gone. For the moment.

What a fiasco. How are we ever gonna
spring Jimmy when we're holed up in here?

Guys.

What if the big dope was right?

What if this is some kind of
government-bred, superintelligent chimp?

- Frohike...
- No, seriously.

How did he know to
stow away in our van?

Feel free to call
me an idiot, Yves.

You're an idiot, Frohike.

It's like Jimmy said.
Yves knows it's true.

I bet she knew from the start. As soon as
she heard the name Boulle Behavioral Lab.

That explains why she wanted
to come along on this. Right?

- So ask him.
- Ask who?

Ask the chimpanzee. Why talk
to me when you can talk to him?

Peanuts, man.

He may not know Spanish.

Peanuts.

That's your name, right?

Tell us a little about yourself.
How did you get to be so smart?

Talk to us. Say something.

Nah.

- He's dissing us.
- Talk to me, you stupid monkey.

You wanted us here. Jimmy's
locked up because of you.

That's it. I'm selling
him to the circus.

Jimmy too. If we
ever get him loose.

Jimmy's what we need
to be concentrating on.

God knows what he's
telling those MPs right now.

What I did, I did in the name
of the Monkey Liberation Army.

Freedom to our furry brothers.

- The Monkey Liberation Army?
- Yeah.

The MLA, we call it.

Anywhere there's a monkey
being abused or mistreated or...

Just, you know, whatever.

Be they chimps or gorillas or...

the ones with the weird
noses and the shiny red butts,

- we'll be there.
- Who's "we"?

"We" as in "me". Just me.

Right now, it's a one-man
grassroots kind of thing.

But I fully expect a groundswell
of support from the entire nation

once they get wind of
what's going on here.

How would you know
what's going on here?

Sergeant.

Release him to me.

Can you crack their computer?

Should at least run
down the contractor who

built the lab, maybe
pull up a floor plan.

Hev-Hey, stop it.

Gimme that.

Reason with him, Frohike.
Try to reach a meeting of minds.

I'm a big enough man
to admit when I'm wrong.

I don't know what they're doing up at that
lab. Breeding monkeys stupider than usual.

All right. That's it,
bud. Party time's over.

Right there.

Hey.

I think the little
bastard took my keys.

Perhaps the battery
came unhooked.

Peanuts, I presume.

Pretty cute, little guy.

All right.

Time for a meeting of the minds.

Talk, you thief. Say something.

- Please, Peanuts.
- Speak.

He can't.

He's a chimpanzee. He doesn't
have the vocal cords for speech.

- Haven't you figured that out yet?
- So what can he do?

Besides grand theft auto.

- It's gibberish.
- No, it's not. It's Linux.

He's downloading some
sort of voice synth program.

Wow. Way to go, Peanuts.

Please stop addressing
me by my slave name.

How do you prefer
we address you?

By the name I have given myself.

Simon White-Thatch Potentloins.

Simon. It was you
that sent us that email?

Then why did you run
from Jimmy, our associate?

I meant no of fence, but I
found him rather frightening.

Yeah. Well, then why are
you playing dumb with us?

Yeah, Why'd you try to bail
on us? We're here to help you.

I don't appreciate your
intention to sell me to a circus.

It was a joke.

You haven't shown that you're any
different than my previous captors.

Please, I just want
to be left alone.

All right.

Spill it.

I'd heard whispers
of this for years.

The military wants a
perfect undercover operative.

- An intelligent chimp?
- The first step, I imagine.

A good starting point, as it's the closest
relative to man, genetically speaking.

They want intelligent animals.
If they could breed a dog,

or a cat, or a bird as
smart as a human...

Imagine what spies they'd be.
Total access. No one would suspect.

Not simply spies.

Imagine if Nikita Khrushchev's
housecat was to run about his ankles

just as he was descending
the stairs for a midnight snack.

My God. No one would even
know it was murder. It's brilliant.

Except for one small detail.

You can create an intelligent animal,
but you can't be assured of its politics.

I'm not sure what you've heard.

But as you can see, these animals
are not abused or mistreated.

They're rarely in cages. They're
well fed, treated with compassion.

Maybe. But it's not like
they asked to be here.

That's Zuzu. She
wants to groom you.

How's that Denorex
working for me?

Zuzu's not accustomed to males.

- Why is that?
- We don't mix the sexes.

The chimps would
find it distracting.

See, I think that's sad.

You separate 'em, you
give 'em slave names.

Slave names?

Yeah.

Zuzu? Peanuts?

How could you
possibly know his name?

- Whose name?
- My missing chimpanzee.

He contacted you, didn't
he? He emailed you.

Wow. That would be some trick,
huh? Seeing as how I don't have email.

My God, I was right about
him. I was right all along.

You are going to bring
Peanuts back to me.

You are going to bring him
back, and you are going to do it

not out of fear of prison or prosecution,
but because it is the right thing.

- How's that?
- He's too important to science.

And he's too
important to America.

You love your country, Jimmy?

Well, yeah. Of course I do.

Then imagine how disastrous it would be for
a hostile power to get a hold of Peanuts.

To possess this breakthrough in
genetic engineering that he embodies.

Do you follow?

Let's say our president
receives a little dog as a gift.

A dog with an IQ higher than yours, who
could spy on national security meetings.

A little talking dog.

Like the one that
sells the tacos.

Those ingenious Mexicans.

You do understand
me, don't you? Jimmy?

You do see how
important this is?

You can see how
important this is.

- People need to know about you.
- Why?

Americans deserve to know
what their government is up to.

Why should I care what
Americans know? I'm not American.

That's true. He's British.

I'm not British.

I simply prefer the voice.

I'm not human. I don't aspire to be.
Why should I care about your affairs?

You creatures certainly
don't care about mine.

We freed you. You owe us.

What if, in my place, I
gave you something better?

What's better than a
superintelligent chimp?

Another superintelligent chimp.

One who's already in the field,
operating as a trained assassin.

- No way.
- In Cold War weapons research,

the Soviets matched
the US dollar for dollar.

There's a Russian chimp
as smart as you are?

And he's a murderer?

He's a free agent now. He
works for the highest bidder.

I happen to know he'll kill again tomorrow.
It will take place in Washington, DC.

A political assassination.

His name is Babe.

He knows no mercy.

This is the guy? The
French minister of state?

He's the intended victim.

High-level trade talks are
being held in Washington.

Certain parties wish to
influence the outcome,

and aren't above
using murder to do it.

This chimpanzee,
Bobo. How will he get

close enough to this
man to assassinate him?

The minister and his family plan a
visit tomorrow to the National Zoo.

Guess who'll be waiting for
them in the primate section.

- No point calling the cops.
- What are we gonna tell 'em?

- There's a killer chimp on the loose?
- We'll have to stop him ourselves.

We can't forget Jimmy. How close
are you to cracking the lab's computer?

Getting there. It's a tough one.

You should keep working.

Peanuts. Sorry. Simon. You obviously
know the lab's computer system.

Would you mind
helping Langly access it?

OK, I know he can type and everything,
but come on, this makes me look bad.

You two stay put
until we get back.

So. Let me ask you something.

How'd you know to contact us?

- I saw your publication, The Lone Gunman.
- You have it at the lab?

I came upon it when it was
lining the bottom of my cage.

Anyway, looks like it's just
gonna be you and me for a while.

And I got a lot of
work to do, so...

Yeah, I know.

Why don't I build you a tyre
swing? You'd like that, huh?

Jimmy? You thought it over?

Going to tell me who your friends
are, and where I can find them?

Are you going to do the
right thing for your country?

I guess not, sir. Sorry.

I gotta figure if Peanuts doesn't
want to be here, that's his call.

Sir.

We received an email. A
ransom demand for the animal.

Ransom demand?

We were able to trace their cell
signal. We know where they are.

Sir.

As God is my witness, I'm
gonna kill that damn chimp.

The minister's
stopped for press,

but he's still headed towards
the primate habitat. And Bobo.

You two don't have much
time. You reading me?

We're reading you,
Byers. We're inside.

Byers, how does
it look out front?

I don't see any chimps out here.
Bobo must be inside with you.

Remember, he's a trained killer.

There he is.

Stop.

What the hell is it?

- I think that's a female.
- Echo's a female?

No. Say hello to Lady Bonkers.

She's a recent zoo acquisition
donated by the Boulle Behavioral Lab.

What the hell's going on here?

It says here there's two chimps in
this habitat. This female and a male.

They're giving them some
privacy so they'll breed.

- The male is Bobo.
- So where is he?

Frohike.

Frohike.

Yves, what's going on in
there? Do you copy, Yves?

I've got it under
control, Byers.

Yves. Yves.

The trade minister
is almost here.

All right, comrade.

Let's dance.

What happened? Did you get Bobo?

I've got him. It's quite a picture.
I'll meet you at the rear gate.

Here comes our trade
minister. Perfect timing, Yves.

Yves. Are you sure you
have the right chimp?

- Yes. Why do you ask?
- Maybe it's not Bobo.

Maybe that's not a banana.

Run.

Wait. He's a killer.

Son of a...

- I see you're awake.
- Don't just stand there.

Grab a hammer and
help me kill this monster.

Relax, Frohike.

Relax? This is Bobo,
he's a trained assassin.

You're right. This is Bobo. And Bobo, God
bless him, is dumber than a bag of rocks.

- What are you talking about?
- I'm saying we got scammed. Royally.

Peanuts told us a wild tale and
we fell for it, hook, line and sinker.

Bobo's not an assassin? What about the
plot to murder the French trade minister?

There was no plot. The
man was never in danger.

Where's Byers?

In federal custody.
With Langly and Jimmy.

Langly too? Good Lord.

And Peanuts has disappeared.

Well, what kind of scam is that?
I mean, what's the point of it all?

I can't figure it
out. I only know he

played us beautifully,
right from the start.

Even when he pretended to try and steal
your van. He didn't plan on going anywhere.

His feet couldn't
touch the pedals.

It was all about sucking us in.

Maybe he just wanted to make
monkeys of us all. So what do we do now?

I imagine the army
would be interested in a

trade. Jimmy, Langly
and Byers for Peanuts.

Except we don't have Peanuts.
We don't know where he is.

They don't know that.

Where's my chimpanzee?

You guys cool?

You're really gonna
give him back?

Peanuts? Remember me?

Dr Asslips?

So, then.

You got your chimp.

Everybody's happy. We'll
just take our associates and go.

Nice try.

Dr Hasslip, don't do this.

I don't want to do this, Jimmy. I could
care less about prosecuting you five,

but I'll see you locked away
forever unless I get my animal back.

What's it gonna be?

Sorry.

I'm sorry too, guys.

I can tell you where Peanuts is.

He's at the National Zoo.
Byers figured it out, he told me.

- Jimmy, stop.
- Yeah, man, shut up.

See, Peanuts is the chimp
that Byers thought was Bobo.

He's the one that tricked
Byers into getting arrested.

And we figure he did it on purpose,
and he must still be at the zoo.

You're betraying Peanuts, Jimmy.
Why on Earth are you doing this?

Because he knows
it's the right thing.

What happened to his white tuft?

I figured he dyed it so he could
take the place of Bobo here.

Utterly amazing.

Out of the cage, Bobo.

Peanuts.

Sir?

What about them?

If they ever set foot on lab
property, you may shoot them,

with my hearty encouragement.

Otherwise, they're free to go.

You are so fired.

You big jerk. You're
sending Peanuts up the river.

If my hands weren't
full, I'd kick your butt.

Yeah. That's a figure of speech.

I got asthma.

Jimmy, what are you doing?

You're kidding, right?

You're not kidding?

- You guys weren't just playing along?
- What are you talking about?

Isn't it obvious?
This is Peanuts.

Or Simon, as Byers tells me.

Sorry.

Come on. It had to have been obvious
from the moment you laid eyes on him.

I only saw him the
one time, and I knew.

Hey, nice tackle, man.

Jimmy. Back when you were
playing football, did you wear a helmet?

You're as patronising to your
friend here as you are to me.

Bravo, Jimmy. You've
bested me at my own game.

I'm heartened that there's one amongst
you whose intelligence I can truly respect.

That means the
army just took Bobo.

I couldn't believe it myself. He
and Simon look completely different.

This was your
plan from the start.

For the army to deliver
you here themselves.

By convincing them you're not who you are,
you ensure they'll never bother you again.

Only how could you know Jimmy
would recognise you and play along?

I didn't. Frankly, I expected
one of you to confess to Hasslip

in order to avoid prosecution.

I apologise for misjudging you.

But why escape to the zoo?

Of all places, why here?

What? Lady Bonkers?

Look at her. She's hot.

No of fence.

You said she was sent
here from Boulle Laboratory.

Dr Hasslip thought she
was a distraction for me.

She's far more than that.

Still, you can't want
to live in a cage.

The whole world is a cage
when you're trapped in it alone.

Visiontext Subtitles:
Paul Burns English