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1
00:00:06,560 --> 00:00:09,480
(HIGH ENERGY DANCE MUSIC PLAYS)
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACH)
2
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:17,280
# Every day, every day I work it
3
00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:19,440
# I don't want to be pretty
or perfect
4
00:00:19,440 --> 00:00:21,560
# Every day, I'ma burn
I'ma burn it
5
00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:23,920
# I'm a mother,
I'm a boss, I'm a pervert
6
00:00:23,920 --> 00:00:25,880
# Every day, every day I work it
7
00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:27,640
# I don't want to be pretty
or perfect
8
00:00:27,640 --> 00:00:30,000
# Every day, I'ma burn
I'ma burn it... #
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00:00:31,080 --> 00:00:33,280
Mate, what the f...
10
00:00:33,280 --> 00:00:35,200
Sorry.
11
00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:38,480
(BREATHES HEAVILY)
12
00:00:51,680 --> 00:00:53,520
# Suck my cherry, hey!
13
00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:56,960
# Hey, suck my cherry... #
14
00:00:56,960 --> 00:00:59,080
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
15
00:01:01,480 --> 00:01:03,400
Oh, Janey!
16
00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:05,200
(SQUEALING)
17
00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:11,760
Wait. Why are you sticky?
What is that?
18
00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:13,080
Pie.
19
00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:14,720
What? Now you've gone all vegan,
20
00:01:14,720 --> 00:01:17,080
I've got to meat-load
before I come to these things.
21
00:01:17,080 --> 00:01:18,320
No. Gross.
22
00:01:18,320 --> 00:01:19,440
Num, num, num.
23
00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:21,320
Ooh!
24
00:01:21,320 --> 00:01:24,400
Here is something
that I made for you.
25
00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:28,120
(GASPS) Oh, my God. My 21st!
26
00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:29,480
(LAUGHS)
Oh, my God.
27
00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:31,080
You can take the girl
out of Mount Whiteman...
28
00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:33,400
But you can't take Mount Whiteman
out of the girl.
29
00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:35,320
Mount Whiteman for life!
30
00:01:35,320 --> 00:01:36,320
Yeah!
31
00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:43,240
(LAUGHTER)
32
00:01:43,240 --> 00:01:45,280
(INDISTINCT, EXUBERANT CHATTER)
33
00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:46,320
Shut your cake holes.
34
00:01:46,320 --> 00:01:48,720
Who was Edi's first kiss?
35
00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:50,360
Sam Davies.
36
00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:51,520
Alright, next one.
37
00:01:51,520 --> 00:01:55,040
Who did Edi lose her virginity to?
38
00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:56,600
'Big Willy' Billy Braithwaite.
39
00:01:56,600 --> 00:02:01,000
What are Edi and Kong's
pet names for each other?
40
00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:05,120
Tus Hlub.
41
00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:11,760
It means 'my baby, my love'
in Hmong.
42
00:02:11,760 --> 00:02:13,080
Hi.
Hi.
43
00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:14,400
Hi.
44
00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:15,680
Tus muam.
45
00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:17,280
Tus muam. Oh, my gosh.
46
00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:19,600
Who's Miss Teenage Pregnancy?
47
00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:22,520
Oh, that's Ka,
Edi's future sister-in-law.
48
00:02:22,520 --> 00:02:24,920
She's a crystal healer.
49
00:02:24,920 --> 00:02:26,840
(SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)
50
00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:28,720
Alright, skanks, last one.
51
00:02:28,720 --> 00:02:32,560
What did Edi dress up as
for schoolies?
52
00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:38,520
(LAUGHTER)
53
00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:45,400
Jane, oh, my God,
your first boyfriend is so cute.
54
00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:46,640
(LAUGHTER)
55
00:02:46,640 --> 00:02:48,240
Why is that funny?
56
00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:49,840
Sorry. Sorry.
57
00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:52,320
Because Jane likes her men
a bit more...
58
00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:54,840
Um, how do I put this? Average Joe.
59
00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:56,160
'Average'? Rude.
60
00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:59,240
No. No. I like...I like manly men.
61
00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:00,840
Do you mean like that guy?
62
00:03:01,880 --> 00:03:04,400
Jesus.
Carve me up some of that.
63
00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:06,640
(SNIGGERING)
64
00:03:06,640 --> 00:03:08,920
More like him.
65
00:03:08,920 --> 00:03:12,440
(HEAVY BREATHING)
66
00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:38,000
Alright, keep it in your pants.
67
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:40,520
I can't help it. Look at him.
68
00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:43,440
I just want to squish
his furry little face.
69
00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:46,160
Jane's taste
is very meat and three veg.
70
00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:47,520
Yum!
71
00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:51,880
Well, I think this goes there.
72
00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:53,640
Jezza!
73
00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:58,680
And it wasn't that long ago,
you were into meat and three veg too.
74
00:03:58,680 --> 00:04:03,120
Unlike some, I've matured
and my tastes have evolved.
75
00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:06,560
Your mid-30s is when Pluto
transits into your natal moon.
76
00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:08,760
I cannot wait for my 30s.
77
00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:11,320
It's an incredibly transformative
phase of life
78
00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:14,040
and I have no doubt
it helped you find Kong.
79
00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:16,480
Your twin flame.
80
00:04:16,480 --> 00:04:18,360
Yeah, well, you won't find me waiting
81
00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:21,520
for some shooting star to tell me
who I'm meant to be with.
82
00:04:21,520 --> 00:04:25,240
I am perfectly capable
of finding my twin flame...
83
00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:26,640
Top up, ladies?
84
00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:28,680
..all by myself.
85
00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:31,720
I think this...
86
00:04:34,280 --> 00:04:36,560
..belongs here.
87
00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:43,120
Mm-hm. Yeah.
88
00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:46,960
(GROWLS AGGRESSIVELY)
89
00:04:49,560 --> 00:04:51,920
(GRUNTS)
90
00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:53,080
Hang on a sec.
91
00:04:53,080 --> 00:04:54,840
Oh. Oh.
92
00:04:54,840 --> 00:04:56,080
(GASPS)
93
00:04:57,960 --> 00:05:00,640
I'm sorry if I'm a bit stinky.
94
00:05:01,840 --> 00:05:03,960
You're perfect!
95
00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:13,320
Nice.
96
00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:14,360
(BOTH LAUGH)
97
00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:15,600
(GROWLS PLAYFULLY)
98
00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:23,840
You smell so...meaty.
99
00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:26,680
Shh.
100
00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:39,480
Are you OK?
101
00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:41,600
Why are you stopping?
102
00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:43,240
Are you all good?
103
00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:45,800
Let's do it from behind. Yeah.
OK.
104
00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:02,600
You're really into martial arts.
105
00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:03,960
Yeah.
106
00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:05,800
I know it might be hard to believe,
107
00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:08,520
but I used to suffer from these
uncontrollable outbursts, you know.
108
00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:11,440
Like... (GRUNTS)
109
00:06:12,880 --> 00:06:14,760
Dojo pretty much saved me.
110
00:06:14,760 --> 00:06:16,520
Fists under control.
111
00:06:16,520 --> 00:06:19,160
Chah-ryeot! Kyeong-rye!
112
00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:22,320
Uh... Cool.
113
00:06:24,280 --> 00:06:25,840
What are those?
114
00:06:25,840 --> 00:06:28,120
Algae pellets. From Japan.
115
00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:29,920
Kintaro,
she won't eat anything else.
116
00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:31,600
She's so fussy.
117
00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:39,960
Hey, I have an idea.
118
00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:42,480
Hey, hey, try this. Try this.
Try my kimono.
119
00:06:42,480 --> 00:06:44,640
No... Oh, no, yeah, no. I'm fine.
It's a great idea.
120
00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:46,720
I'm fine.
Yeah, yeah, right arm.
121
00:06:46,720 --> 00:06:47,960
Yeah, OK.
Left arm.
122
00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:49,080
Oh!
123
00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:50,400
It's...
124
00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:53,440
Boop.
125
00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:54,920
(MAKES COMBAT SOUNDS)
126
00:06:56,680 --> 00:06:59,520
(SQUEALS)
127
00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:01,040
So, what's your background?
128
00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:02,800
Uh, Korean.
129
00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:05,440
You're really, like, solid
for a Korean girl, hey?
130
00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:07,520
Fuck off!
No, no, I love it.
131
00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:10,920
I just usually go for girls that are
a bit more, like, petite and gentle.
132
00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:12,160
Oh, no, that's cool,
133
00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:15,680
because I usually go for guys
who are, like, bigger and tougher.
134
00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:18,640
You know,
a man who can handle a real woman.
135
00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:20,200
I'm pretty sure I could handle you.
136
00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:21,640
Really?
Really.
137
00:07:22,640 --> 00:07:24,080
(GRUNTS) Oh, my...
138
00:07:25,440 --> 00:07:27,920
The dojo can't save you now, bitch.
139
00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:29,960
Do you want to be my little mandoo?
140
00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:32,800
Maybe. What's a mandoo?
141
00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:34,440
It's a Korean dumpling.
142
00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:35,920
Oh.
143
00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:37,400
(LAUGHS)
What kind of Korean are you?
144
00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:39,200
(SCOFFS) Whatevs.
145
00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:41,600
Oh, no, no,
I was only joking. Don't go.
146
00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:43,680
(MUNCHES)
Oi! You're a dickhead.
147
00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:45,120
And you're delicious.
148
00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:47,000
(LAUGHS)
149
00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:04,360
I don't look like that.
150
00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:09,200
Do I?
151
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:23,680
(READS)
152
00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:28,520
(SCOFFS)
153
00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:49,480
Eugh!
154
00:08:49,480 --> 00:08:50,800
Did you do this?
155
00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:53,640
It looks like a science experiment
in here.
156
00:08:53,640 --> 00:08:55,440
Whatevs. It's good bacteria.
157
00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:57,520
Like, helps the kids' immunity
and stuff.
158
00:08:57,520 --> 00:08:58,960
Don't say 'whatevs'.
159
00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:01,480
You're not the mean girl
in a teen drama.
160
00:09:01,480 --> 00:09:05,600
Though you do possess many similarly
insufferable characteristics.
161
00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:08,200
(VALLEY GIRL ACCENT)
Oh, my God, why, thank you.
162
00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:12,000
Oh, yucky.
163
00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:14,640
Charlie?
Mm?
164
00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:18,640
You've got a type, haven't you?
165
00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:21,840
Like,
don't you have the horn for grannies?
166
00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:25,560
(LAUGHS) If you're referring
to my appreciation
167
00:09:25,560 --> 00:09:28,640
for women of a certain vintage,
then, yes.
168
00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:30,120
But aside from that, no.
169
00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:33,240
I am open to everyone
and everything.
170
00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:36,320
Well, except for knee-length shorts,
obviously.
171
00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:38,000
And back hair.
172
00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:39,880
Hey, what's wrong with back hair?
173
00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:41,640
You're actually into back hair?
174
00:09:41,640 --> 00:09:44,160
Yeah, back hair,
shoulder hair, neck hair, bum hair,
175
00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:45,480
yeah, bring it on.
176
00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:47,600
So, what,
you're into like full bears?
177
00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:48,800
I guess.
178
00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:52,280
Do you consider him a full bear?
179
00:09:52,280 --> 00:09:56,000
Oof, Daddy, hibernation is over.
180
00:09:56,000 --> 00:10:00,160
Oh, yeah, I mean,
you clearly have a hair fetish.
181
00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:02,840
Yeah.
But they're also all...
182
00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:06,600
All...?
183
00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:08,640
You know...
184
00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:10,360
Charlie, are...
185
00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:13,600
No, are you fat shaming
my gentlemen suitors?
186
00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:16,800
What? No. They're all white.
187
00:10:18,120 --> 00:10:19,120
What?
188
00:10:19,120 --> 00:10:21,120
That is a lot of white meat.
189
00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:22,320
See?
190
00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:23,520
That...
191
00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:26,640
No, no, no.
That is not a lot of white meat.
192
00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:29,560
It's a lot of hairy meat,
and they all just happen to be...
193
00:10:29,560 --> 00:10:32,080
Of the Caucasian persuasion.
194
00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:40,160
(GRUNTING, PUNCHES LANDING ON BAGS)
195
00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:41,840
Dad!
196
00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:45,200
Boofhead!
Hey. (LAUGHS)
197
00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:46,680
Argh!
198
00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:49,400
(GRUNTING)
199
00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:51,240
Stop cheating!
200
00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:52,840
Suck it up, Buttercup.
201
00:10:52,840 --> 00:10:56,680
Oh, you. I'm going to destroy you.
202
00:10:56,680 --> 00:10:59,440
(GRUNTING)
203
00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:02,040
Good luck
with those little T-Rex arms.
204
00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:05,480
(GRUNTS)
205
00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:07,080
(BOTH LAUGH)
206
00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:09,640
What's so funny, huh? (LAUGHS)
207
00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:12,720
(SOBS)
208
00:11:12,720 --> 00:11:14,000
Dad?
209
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:17,280
(SOBBING)
210
00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:23,200
Look, your mum's been posting
all these pics of her out and about,
211
00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:25,080
volunteering and planting trees.
212
00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:27,120
She's seeing someone, I know it.
213
00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:30,280
That's just Mum. You know she can't
resist a bake sale or charity event.
214
00:11:30,280 --> 00:11:31,960
She's a doer. She does things.
215
00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:34,160
Yeah, but she never used to post
this much.
216
00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:36,040
And you don't have to put
your bloody lippy on
217
00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:37,040
to plant a few trees.
218
00:11:37,040 --> 00:11:39,760
Dad, Dad, Mum is not seeing anyone,
alright?
219
00:11:39,760 --> 00:11:43,400
I think I'm going to have to give
Edi's wedding a miss, love.
220
00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:46,640
I'm so sorry. You'll have to find
yourself another date, I think.
221
00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:48,200
Is that OK?
222
00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:50,360
Yeah, yeah, of course, Dad.
223
00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:54,280
I just need to take a minute
to get my head right again.
224
00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:55,840
Mm. OK. Um...
225
00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:58,040
You want to go another round?
See if I can...
226
00:11:58,040 --> 00:12:00,520
Ow!
..knock some sense back into you.
227
00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:03,000
It's quite a hook you've got on you,
mate. (LAUGHS)
228
00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:06,200
Fast as a ninja. Hey-ya!
229
00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:07,360
(BOTH LAUGH)
230
00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:11,920
If your mum wants to date
other people, that's fine by me.
231
00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:13,040
Ha.
232
00:12:13,040 --> 00:12:16,360
In Mount Whiteman...
(VOICE GROWS DISTANT AND INDISTINCT)
233
00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:35,040
(SQUEALS INTERNALLY)
234
00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:36,600
She says that I'm closed off.
235
00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:38,800
What does that even mean?
236
00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:40,920
That she's just going through
a thing.
237
00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:43,680
This separation situation
is temporary.
238
00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:46,360
She's going to be begging you
to come back home in no time.
239
00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:48,440
Yeah, I mean,
how can she resist this?
240
00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:51,080
Wait. Oh, nose hair could do
with a bit of a pull, though.
241
00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:52,680
Oh, you watch it, short stuff.
242
00:12:52,680 --> 00:12:54,200
Oh, you watch it. (LAUGHS)
243
00:13:01,680 --> 00:13:03,480
I think I'm gonna have my hair down.
244
00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:04,720
Definitely down.
245
00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:06,560
Otherwise I'll look like a potato.
246
00:13:06,560 --> 00:13:08,560
You have a very Hmong head.
247
00:13:08,560 --> 00:13:11,280
Um, thanks.
248
00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:13,280
Um, same to you, I guess.
249
00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:15,520
You might have Hmong blood.
250
00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:17,360
What's your heritage?
251
00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:18,600
Um...
(PHONE VIBRATES)
252
00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:21,200
Oh, yeah, sorry, sorry.
Gotta take this.
253
00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:22,920
That's more like what I had
on my Pinterest board.
254
00:13:22,920 --> 00:13:24,080
Yeah, it's classy.
255
00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:25,520
Hey, Dad.
G'day, boofhead.
256
00:13:25,520 --> 00:13:27,760
I have greased the cupboard hinges
257
00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:31,280
and I have patched up
the plaster in the hallway.
258
00:13:31,280 --> 00:13:33,000
And I'm just about to do
the shelves.
259
00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:34,280
Do you want them next to the TV?
260
00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:36,720
Wow. You're... You're on a mission.
261
00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:39,240
You should have moved in with me
ages ago.
262
00:13:39,240 --> 00:13:41,360
Your mum's not the only one
who can be a doer.
263
00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:44,840
What the bloody hell
have you got on your noggin?
264
00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:46,400
It's a turban.
265
00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:47,960
EDI: Hiya, Jack.
Oh.
266
00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:49,200
Hi, Edi.
267
00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:51,640
I fixed up the wonky leg
on your arm chair.
268
00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:53,600
That's my wedding pressie to ya.
269
00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:56,440
Thank you. Now I just need Jane
to give it back to me.
270
00:13:56,440 --> 00:13:58,480
Oh, but it's all I have left of you.
271
00:13:58,480 --> 00:14:00,120
Alright, you girls have fun doing
272
00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:02,520
whatever the bloody hell
it is you're doing.
273
00:14:02,520 --> 00:14:04,320
Bye.
Bye, Dad.
274
00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:07,920
A father is a girl's first love.
275
00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:10,840
Ew. Gross.
276
00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:12,400
It's natural to look for lovers
277
00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:16,160
who emulate
our earliest masculine role models.
278
00:14:16,160 --> 00:14:18,280
Yeah, Ka, Ka, please, don't.
279
00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:22,280
Now that I've met your dad,
I think I know you a lot better.
280
00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:23,320
Are we done?
281
00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:25,560
Yeah,
let's see the whole thing together.
282
00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:29,720
(GASPS) I have a moonstone in my
bag. I think it's perfect for you.
283
00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:31,560
I'll be right back.
Oh, yeah, no, no.
284
00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:34,560
Yes.
No, Ka, really, I don't think...
285
00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:37,760
Janey, what do you think?
286
00:14:37,760 --> 00:14:40,800
Oh, wow. OK.
287
00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:41,920
What?
288
00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:44,240
Oh, no, no. I just didn't realise
you were planning, like,
289
00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:46,400
going full Hmong up top
and the rest of you normal.
290
00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:48,040
Jane!
What?
291
00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:51,920
Don't say 'normal'.
It's not normal, it's Western.
292
00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:54,400
Yeah, OK. Come on, Edi,
you know what I meant.
293
00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:02,040
Aunty.
294
00:15:02,040 --> 00:15:06,720
I'm trying to learn about the
Hmong traditions and the culture,
295
00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:08,080
and I'm trying to...
296
00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:10,200
Yeah, never mind.
You wouldn't get it.
297
00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:12,000
Jane is Asian too. She might get it.
298
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,480
(CACKLES)
Well, yeah, OK, so...
299
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:17,120
Jane's, like,
whiter than most white people.
300
00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:19,320
(LAUGHS)
Excuse me?
301
00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:21,960
What? You say that all the time.
302
00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:24,080
Yeah, but not in the way
that you just said it.
303
00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:26,680
No, I just meant that,
like, you're...
304
00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:29,720
..not interested
in broadening your horizons.
305
00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:31,840
Which is totally fine. But I am.
306
00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:35,680
And it would be great if you
could be a bit more supportive.
307
00:15:35,680 --> 00:15:37,600
What? I am supportive.
308
00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:41,720
I just think that you might be taking
this all a little bit seriously.
309
00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:43,000
Seriously?
310
00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:46,160
Yeah, I am taking this seriously,
Jane,
311
00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:48,480
because this is important to me.
312
00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:51,840
I wasn't...
Kong is important to me.
313
00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:55,120
You know, you've never dated
a person of colour before,
314
00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:56,800
so you just wouldn't get it.
315
00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:58,800
Hang on,
isn't Jane a person of colour?
316
00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:00,680
I have so dated a person of colour.
317
00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:02,960
It's, you know... What about...
318
00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:05,520
What about Debbie Doukas's brother,
Steve...?
319
00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:07,640
You mean Stavros? He was Greek.
320
00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:10,720
Oh, come on. He was extremely tanned.
321
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:13,520
See, everything is a joke to you,
Jane.
322
00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:18,400
Being with an Asian man is really
different to being with a white man.
323
00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:21,240
But that's just something
you'll never really understand.
324
00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:24,320
Edi, you're not the only one
who can date an Asian man.
325
00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:26,920
I could date an Asian man
if I wanted to.
326
00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:28,480
No, you couldn't.
Yes, I could.
327
00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:29,920
No, you couldn't.
328
00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:35,880
Look, I don't know
what's happening here,
329
00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:38,360
but it's making me feel really yucky.
330
00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:40,320
So I'm just, yeah, I'm just gonna...
331
00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:43,320
I'm just gonna go.
332
00:16:43,320 --> 00:16:45,120
Yep, OK.
333
00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:49,040
(GRUNTING AND MOANING)
334
00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:51,040
(FUNKY ASIAN MUSIC PLAYING)
335
00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:05,200
(WINCES)
(GRUNTS)
336
00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:06,480
You good?
337
00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:09,920
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm good.
Keep going. Keep going.
338
00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:11,560
(BOTH GRUNTING)
339
00:17:18,560 --> 00:17:20,720
Down, down. Good.
Yeah? Yeah.
340
00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:31,800
Oh, no, no, no!
341
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:33,120
No. I can't.
342
00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:35,280
What's wrong?
343
00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:36,400
Where the hell's my shoe?
344
00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:37,520
Little mandoo?
345
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:40,200
Can you not call me that?
346
00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:42,600
I'm not your little Korean dim sim.
347
00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:44,880
OK, sorry. I just don't know
what's happening right now.
348
00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:46,520
Ow!
349
00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:50,080
Soz.
350
00:17:50,080 --> 00:17:52,280
Ohh. You broke Buddha.
351
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:53,920
What have you done?
Me?
352
00:17:53,920 --> 00:17:57,160
Why are you so obsessed
with Asian stuff?
353
00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:59,160
This. And this, and this.
354
00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:00,680
And this Asian music!
355
00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:02,160
Can you please turn it off?
356
00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:03,600
Sorry.
357
00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:07,360
This situation you got going on here,
all this Asian-ness,
358
00:18:07,360 --> 00:18:08,640
yeah, it's fucked up.
359
00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:11,760
I think you should leave.
Oh, don't worry, I am out of here.
360
00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:14,880
You've obviously got a lot
of unresolved major issues, OK?
361
00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:16,560
But it's not fair
that you come round
362
00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:18,560
and you drop all them
on innocent people.
363
00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:20,840
I've got major issues?
Yeah.
364
00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:23,120
Collecting a lot of exotic shit
365
00:18:23,120 --> 00:18:25,360
does not make you more interesting,
Ross.
366
00:18:25,360 --> 00:18:26,920
It just makes you kind of pathetic.
367
00:18:26,920 --> 00:18:29,240
It's not my fault you're
not in touch with your inner Asian.
368
00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:30,520
What the fuck?!
369
00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:33,360
At least...
At least I'm not a sad wannabe Asian.
370
00:18:33,360 --> 00:18:37,120
You do know you're not a real Asian,
don't you, Ross?
371
00:18:37,120 --> 00:18:39,280
Yeah, well,
you're not even a real Aussie!
372
00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:41,680
You're not even a real Asian.
You're like a fake Asian.
373
00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:45,360
Oh, fu... Oh.
374
00:18:45,360 --> 00:18:47,480
(GRUNTS)
375
00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:50,840
Fuck! Can you just leave, please?!
376
00:18:50,840 --> 00:18:52,720
Oh, far out!
377
00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:54,120
(GRUNTING)
378
00:18:54,120 --> 00:18:55,960
Oh, my God.
379
00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:58,720
(CRIES AGGRESSIVELY)
380
00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:03,080
(CONTINUES GROANING)
381
00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:04,400
What the...
382
00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:07,200
Good one. Good one, Ross.
383
00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:10,560
(GROANS MANIACALLY)
384
00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:13,280
"Inner Asian"? What a douchebag!
385
00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:15,560
GABBY: Jane's Asian too.
She might get it.
386
00:19:15,560 --> 00:19:17,680
(EDI LAUGHS)
387
00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:21,720
Yeah. Jane's, like,
whiter than most white people.
388
00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:24,240
ROSS: Do you want to be
my little mandoo?
389
00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:29,320
JACK: What the bloody hell
have you got on your noggin?
390
00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:31,480
CHARLIE: They're all white.
391
00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:33,960
ROSS: It's not my fault you're
not in touch with your inner Asian.
392
00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:35,760
(LAUGHS)
What kind of Korean are you?
393
00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:37,240
(CACKLING)
394
00:19:37,240 --> 00:19:38,920
Yeah. Yeah.
395
00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:41,000
(MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY)
396
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:43,960
You're not even a real Asian.
You're like a fake Asian.
397
00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:47,040
(ECHOES) Asian. Asian.
Asian. Asian. Asian...
398
00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:52,200
(EXPLOSION, SUPERNATURAL WHOOSHING)
399
00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:55,840
# I'm on the next level, yeah...
400
00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:58,080
(SONG CONTINUES IN KOREAN)
401
00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:10,960
# Check it out, check it out,
check it out...
402
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:13,920
(SONG CONTINUES IN KOREAN)
403
00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:22,200
# I'm on the next level, yeah
404
00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:26,160
# The next level
405
00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:30,800
# Next level
406
00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:34,680
# Next level
407
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:37,240
# Check it out, check it out,
check it out
408
00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:40,680
# La, la, la, la, la... #
409
00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:42,600
(SONG SLOWS DOWN AND ENDS)
410
00:20:49,360 --> 00:20:51,080
Dad?
411
00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:55,680
(PHONE BUZZES)
412
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:14,800
G'day, boofhead.
413
00:21:18,120 --> 00:21:19,320
Cindy.
414
00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:20,800
Yeah, I found that today.
415
00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:23,160
Your mum must have put that
with my stuff when I moved out.
416
00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:25,720
Jane, where's your paprika?
417
00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:27,960
Papa-papa-prika!
418
00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:54,560
(BOWL CLATTERS)
Fuck a duck!
419
00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:11,880
It's OK, Kintaro.
420
00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:15,760
I've got you, mate.
421
00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:17,760
(BUBBLES BURBLE)
422
00:22:21,720 --> 00:22:22,920
OK.
423
00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:46,640
(MESSAGE BUZZES)
424
00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:51,880
(LAUGHS)
425
00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:12,480
Um...
426
00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:14,560
Mm.
427
00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:18,280
When you look back at your dating
history, is it full of whiteys?
428
00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:19,840
Is your catalogue of exes
429
00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:23,040
a long list of Jacks, Jills,
Rachels and Rosses?
430
00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:25,760
I bet you have a million excuses.
431
00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:27,600
"I didn't know any Asians
growing up."
432
00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:29,280
"It's like kissing your sibling."
433
00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:31,120
"Their skin is too soft.
I like body hair."
434
00:23:31,120 --> 00:23:34,400
The truth is you have white fever.
435
00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:36,480
White fever?
436
00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:38,840
What the fu...
437
00:23:53,320 --> 00:23:55,320
Boo's gonna get herself
an Asian hottie.
438
00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:57,520
Let's go get Janey an Asian guy.
439
00:23:57,520 --> 00:24:02,240
The dictionary defines 'soul mate'
as the one who understands you.
440
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:05,280
Jane!
441
00:24:05,280 --> 00:24:06,760
(TYRES SQUEAL)
Whoa! Watch it!
442
00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:07,760
What a dick.
443
00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:09,120
He looks kind of familiar.
444
00:24:09,120 --> 00:24:10,200
Talk to him.
445
00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:11,840
Who the fuck are you?
446
00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:12,960
George?
447
00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:14,440
Why didn't you say who you were
before?
448
00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:16,400
To be honest, I was kind of enjoying
watching you squirm.
449
00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:17,480
Good news, boofhead.
450
00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:19,280
Your mum's not seeing anyone
after all.
451
00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:20,800
She's too busy making new friends.
452
00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:22,400
Mum?
Oh.
453
00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:23,960
You ready?
454
00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:25,520
Jane, meet the Korean adoptees.
455
00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:28,480
Are you serious
about decolonising this? And this?
456
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:36,960
Ah!
457
00:24:36,960 --> 00:24:37,960
(POP!)
(SQUEALING)
458
00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:40,360
(SCREAMS)
459
00:24:40,360 --> 00:24:41,960
How cute am I?
460
00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:43,920
Ready! (LAUGHS)
461
00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:50,920
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