All language subtitles for Hap and Leonard S01E04 Trudy.DVDRip.NonHI.en.ANCHBY.EN

♪ Golden threads of silk ♪

♪ Flow through my fingers ♪

♪ Istanbul lay
smoldering in the night ♪

♪ Black waters murmured ♪

♪ I felt so still ♪

♪ Turquoise evening merged
through ice blue morning ♪

♪ Centuries of stone
stared into silence ♪

♪ I felt the wind ♪

♪ I heard girls sing ♪

Come on.

It's time to be a bird.

Go on.

Come on, get.

You got your whole
life ahead of you.

We didn't intend to cut you out.

There wasn't enough
money to go around.

And this...

wasn't what we banked on.

So this is plan B.

- And whose plan is that?
- We made a pact.

There wasn't enough
money for our needs.

We'd have to
appropriate your share.

Howard says it's just
a matter of priorities.

Huh. Oh, for a minute there,

I thought we were
just getting screwed.

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

You want to keep that good
eye, keep your hand off my shit.

Paco: Shut up!

- Does Trudy know about this?
- It's not personal, Hap.

Oh, good, good.

What is it, then?

Sacrifice.

Howard: Speed it up.

At this rate, we'll
be here all night.

Come on.

Who the hell buries
money anyway?

Y'all been reading too
many damn caper books.

With all these cops around,
it's called being smart.

Maybe you two ought
to try it some time.

If you're so smart,

why are you burying
this in front of us?

- Hey!
- Leonard: Hey, hey, hey.

It's an awful lot of rough
housing for a peacenik.

Now, look, you had that coming.

Look, I never said I
was against violence.

Sometimes the ends
justify the means.

All right?

So why don't you come
over here and try that on me?

Shove that gun so far up
your ass you's taste gunpowder.

Come on!

Chub...

put the box in the hole.

Go ahead. I got it.

All right, Leonard.

You fill it in.

Pretend it's a rose
bush or something,

whatever the hell
you two do for work...

- They got fired.
- All right.

Whatever... you know,
whatever you did for work.

So this how y'all do,
huh? All peaceful-like.

Get your gun up.

Hey.

Look like you gonna have
to use that thing, Howard.

Ever kill a man before? I did.

Howard: Paco, fill it in.

These fellers have stepped
in the wrong pile of shit.

Let's not rub it in.

They've been riding
me since they got here.

- If I'd have known I was coming...
- Hey.

I'd have ridden you
a hell of a lot harder.

This is everything.

This is... this is the total.

- The rest is unusable.
- Well, it's... it's not enough.

If we're smart about
things, efficient,

no more mistakes
from here on out.

Y'all already made one
mistake... Pissing me off!

You gonna use that, Chub?

Just let us do our
thing. We'll let you go.

Howard doesn't want
anybody to know about us yet.

You ain't got to worry
about me telling nobody.

No, sir.

Think I want the world to know I
got suckered by a bunch of idiots?

Hap: What is this thing?

You zip it, Chub.

Not supposed to say.

Come on.

Who we gonna tell, the couch?

- We're gonna buy some drugs.
- Oh.

What, like, like grass?

- Uh-uh, cocaine.
- Cocaine?

- Howard: Chub!
- Trudy: Chub!

- You stupid shit.
- All right, okay.

What the hell does
buying cocaine

have to do with making a
difference to this world, huh?

That wasn't part of the
big pitch you sold me.

If we're gonna launch a
sustainable movement,

we need sustainable income.

They're gonna use
cocaine to fund their cause.

Paco: How do you think the
Mechanics survived as long as we did?

By selling sweet Mary
Jane to college students.

Cocaine's a bit different.

- Don't you think?
- Howard: Exactly.

- Who buys cocaine?
- Cokeheads, mostly.

People who can afford
it. It's a luxury drug.

Consider us a luxury tax.

We're gonna take
it from the rich,

and we're gonna use it to
help the people that need it.

Like Robin Hood.

Last I remember, Little
John didn't have no pager.

Y'all just a bunch of
goddamn drug dealers.

No, no, we use the
system to beat the system,

and then we change the system.

You can beat my meat
and preach about the system

and the seals all you want...

Who said anything
about the seals?

What's with the seals? Why
does he keep saying that?

Whales, elephants, whatever.

You know what happens
to drug dealers, hmm?

They end up in
prison or in a ditch

with a bullet in the head.

Actually, that don't
sound like a bad idea.

Paco's done this before.
He's got the connections.

Yeah, look at him now.

They handle the traffic.
We handle the income.

- We stay clean.
- Yeah, and then we have the power.

Power?

You lost your
drawers in the swamp.

What the hell you gonna
do with any damn power?

What makes you think we
need an economics lesson

from two out-of-work
field hands?

Technically, we're
Rosarians, not field hands.

You two ain't thought
this shit out, did you?

Ignore him, Trudy.

You might have saved a couple of
lives, but you're gonna ruin a bunch more.

Think them drugs just gonna reach
the hands of some Hollywood big shot

or up the nose of some
Wall Street scumbag?

They're gonna end up on the
street in the hands of some kids

don't even know what
they hell they doing.

Don't listen to him.
He's just being derisive.

- Oh, that's a big word...
- Quiet.

For such a little
asshole to fart.

All right, that's enough.

That was impressive.

You rehearse that?

Nice girlfriend you got there.

Got more faces than a diamond.

Okay.

I admit that.

That took me by surprise.

And here we are,

gun in face,
duct-taped to a chair.

Mm, mm, mm.

Glider.

What?

- It's a glider.
- It's my damn porch.

- I know what it is.
- Just saying.

You said enough,
talking me into this mess.

- My nose itches.
- I don't care.

Oh, shit.

Shit.

Maybe we didn't think
this through enough.

It's a little late to start
second-guessing ourselves.

I thought this was
what we wanted.

Of course it is, babe.

Of course.

I just want us to stay sharp.

We've never done
anything like this before.

Paco has.

- What if they're right?
- Don't let them get to you.

We have to play the game

if we're gonna survive.

I'm not letting
anyone get to me.

- I'm just asking.
- All right.

Is this who we are?

It's like you say.

"The right path isn't
always the easy one."

I didn't know it was gonna
turn out like this, guys.

I feel terrible.

I'm really sorry,
for what it's worth.

Do you want anything?

I want to take back saving
your fat ass in the swamp.

They don't respect you.
You know that, right?

They see you, they see a walking,
talking pork chop, same as us.

Only thing, they ain't gonna
slaughter you like they gonna do us.

I'm not gonna let that happen.

I understand your anger.

You could never
understand my anger.

Hap: Chub.

Are we getting out of here?

Howard said that he...

He'll drop you guys off
at the state line tomorrow

after we meet Paco's guy.

Chub.

Inside.

Dear Hap, it's been awhile.

I know.

I keep meaning to visit, but...

I never have been great at life.

I think of you often,
though, you in there,

making a difference, dedicated.

And me, out here...

It's quiet, Hap.

I keep thinking it'll get
easier, but then I remember,

that's not how the world works.

And I'm never one to sit still,

so I've decided to
do something about it,

to try and make a
difference of my own.

I've moved to San Francisco.

It's a long way, but it
really is for the best,

for me, for the cause.

I've joined a group
of people out here.

We march and
protest against the war,

like we used to do.

Feels good, you know,
to be a part of something.

You know what they say.

Some things are
just meant to be.

I've told them about you
and what you're doing

to make a stand.

I'm so proud of you, honey.

I love you.

Always did, always will.

Trudy.

Hap: You smoke now too, huh?

Boy, you are just
full of surprises.

Only when I'm nervous.

Oh, you are. Hey,
it could be worse.

You could be
duct-taped to a glider.

Want to tell me what's going on?

I would if I thought it
would make you feel better.

Not too late to
change your mind.

Call it off.

Let us go.

Take your share and run away.

- You've done it before.
- I'm done running.

This is my chance.
I'm taking it.

No matter who it hurts?

I gave you every
opportunity to be a part of this.

You made your choice.

Somebody always gets hurt, Hap.

This time, the greater
good will win out.

Greater good?

There was a time when

that meant protesting
against wars

and marching for
equality, not this.

You remember those two
monks who set themselves on fire

- to protest the war?
- Mm.

I want that kind of dedication.

Oh, they were
dedicated, all right.

They also got burned up.

I need to believe in something.

I've done a lot of
things in my life.

I've failed at
almost all of them.

I don't have another
failure in me, Hap.

Even if it means this?

Try and get some sleep.

About time you woke up.

We on speaking
terms again, then?

Leonard: He came out
here over an hour ago.

Howard told him to
keep an eye on us.

Doing a pretty shitty job of it.

You think?

Let's go.

Go? Where?

Let's get out of here.

- How?
- Get on your feet.

We're gonna walk this thing
out to the woods and get it off us.

Make a run for it.

- You crazy?
- You got a better idea?

- Shouldn't we have done this last night?
- Well, I didn't think of it last night.

Now, come on. You with me?

- Okay.
- On three.

One, two, three.

Shh, shh, shh.

You're going too fast.

We're going too fast.

You shut up.

Just give me five. Give me five.

Come on, now we're
making progress.

- Ready? Let's go.
- Yeah, come on.

Could we just slow down?
You're tripping on my toes.

Bitch, bitch, bitch.
Stepping on my damn corn.

- Just slow down.
- We go any slower,

we be going backwards.

Come on, this
ain't so hard, is it?

Looks pretty damn hard to me.

Now, do you fellas think you can

make it back to the
porch without falling?

Oh, come on.

Get moving, man. Get going.

Well, I'm afraid you
boys are coming with us.

After your great
escape this morning,

I can't exactly leave you
here with Chub, can I?

Cut 'em loose. Come on, Chub.

Thought I told you to
keep that thing on a leash.

Does that mean we're
not friends anymore?

Trudy!

Trudy, come on.

One good bounce, you'll
blow your pecker straight off.

You're like a real bandito now.

Just shut up.

You've already gotten
me in enough trouble.

- My heart bleeds.
- Shut up, all of you.

Who's got the money?

I do, some of it.

- What do you mean, some of it?
- Look, Trudy and I talked it over.

We're taking 5,000 as a deposit.

A deposit?

We're not going
to a goddamn bank.

This guy's expecting the
money, all of it, up front.

- That was the deal.
- We have to know we can trust him.

We have the money. If they want to
make the deal, we can get the rest.

Dealers ain't exactly
the kind of people

you want to get cute with.

We got to go back. We
got to get the money.

No, no, we're doing it this way.

If it's not good for
you, we can turn around

and forget the whole thing.

We're driving into
a shitstorm, Howard.

What the hell is that?

It's just the gang.

Come on, let's move.

How you doing?

Chubs: Hey.

Hey, the revolutionaries.
Que pasa?

- How the hell are you?
- Well, we're here.

We're all right,
man. We're all right.

- How are you?
- What is with Salt and Pepper?

Huh?

They helped us find the money,
wasn't gonna cut them loose just yet.

- So you brought them along?
- Mm-hmm.

- I love it.
- Yeah, hey, I'm Howard, man.

I know who you are. You're the
nerd or the professor or some shit.

Well, that's actually...

And he's the
self-help gentle fellow.

I met her at the diner.

You look even lovelier
out of your uniform.

And then she was
married to Salt, right?

- That's Hap.
- And then there's your jig.

- Leonard, yeah.
- Yeah, that's right.

So we... we'd like to...
I'd like to deal quickly.

Of course. Yeah,
of course you would.

But first, let me
intro... Well, ladies first.

That shapely piece
of meat is Angel.

My name's Soldier.
Remember that.

In case things don't go
down the way you like,

you can come to
me, and you can say,

"Soldier, I'm not happy
with the things went."

And then I can
say, "Tough shit."

"Tough shit," I'll
say right to you.

Okay, but enough
of the pleasantries.

Who's got the money?

This was a bad idea.

- Paco, what is her name again?
- That's Trudy.

Okay, so who's
running things here?

You know, if you
let her talk like that,

I don't know, pretty soon
the nig will be calling shots.

Chaos.

Well, excuse me, Mr. Soldier,
his name's Leonard.

You can call him
anything that you'd like.

- I do know a nigger when I see one.
- Hey, wait a minute, now.

Sir? Sir?

Hating a person because the color of their
skin is not gonna get anything solved.

- Shut up, Chub.
- Who's...

You can't talk about someone
'cause the color of their skin.

Who asked that to make sounds?

Well, not everybody
agrees with the way he...

Hey, hey, we'll
talk about it later.

But he used the N word.

- We'll talk about it later.
- No, come on, now.

- Not everybody agrees with you.
- Not now, Chub.

No, you hold on a second.

Just because he's black...

- He's not allowed to use that word.
- Chub.

Ow! Hey, hey, hey.

Anybody shit their pants?

I almost did right there.

Paco, you really
caught me off-guard.

Paco, we had a plan.

Wasn't much of a
plan, was it, genius?

Soldier: You made a mistake
when you trusted a man

who burned his
own face off, I think.

But no, there is no drug
deal. There's no drugs.

There's just Paco talking
to me about the easy money

y'all were gonna find.

Easy, my ass.

Thought I was gonna die of old
age waiting for you guys to find it.

Paco, you're a piece of shit.

Shh.

I do like to hear
myself as I'm speaking.

And shit is...
It's a little harsh.

I mean, it's more like a
scrunched up piece of...

- What do they wrap candy in, baby?
- Cellophane, innit?

That's the stuff your
face looks like, Paco.

Yeah. I mean, no offense.

Fire will do that to
a face. It's normal.

And you should stop
pretending like you're so noble.

Where's all that '60s
free love shit now?

You get a little taste of
money, and you screwed over

the first two dudes you could,

and now I'm gonna
screw you over, so...

Bet that makes you
two feel a little bit better.

Lenny? Just a shade?

Even better if you
shot him in the foot.

Hey!

I like that.

You're cool.

- Ain't he cool, babe?
- He's cool.

That's just to let you guys
know I am a serious kind of guy.

And now I would like
to collect the money.

So who... who's holding?

We had a deal. We had a deal.

There is no deal. There's...

The only deal is you
don't give me what I want,

then I blow your
brains across the wall,

and then I'll move down,

and I'll get the black gentleman,
and then I'll end with her,

and I will just spray those
titties all over this room.

- They didn't bring it.
- What did you say?

- There is money. I saw it.
- Howard: $5,000.

I... I have $5,000.

We brought a deposit,
a down payment.

A down payment. Am I a realtor?

We were being cautious.

All right. Okay, okay.

Okay, okay, okay.

So you're just not
as stupid as I thought.

Where is the rest of the money?

Paco: They buried
it at Leonard's place.

I know exactly where it is.

Okay, well, I like that.

So here's what
we'll do. We'll, uh...

You're gonna go fix...
You're gonna fix his foot.

And then we will all get the
rest of the money together.

Turn around.

Soldier: Angel, baby, I am
starting to like these folks.

Howie, come on.

Keep walking.

That's radical.

Keep walking, in the back.

Holy... toys.

- Hap.
- Uh-huh?

Tell me about the
beach with them drinks

with the little
umbrellas in them again.

Going on a field trip.

It's warm in here. It's stuffy.

This is a real piece of shit
van you brought, Professor.

Oh, it's hot.

Hey, girl... What
is her name again?

- Trudy.
- That's right.

Tell me, which one of
these three desperados

are you spreading
your fine little gams for?

My guess, my guess, whoever has

the biggest ankle
spanker, am I right?

Well, guess what?

Size is not all it's cranked
up to be. Isn't that right, baby?

- That's right.
- Yeah, see?

Average depth of the vaginal
canal is only six inches.

So I figure whatever
doesn't fit in, you're wasting it.

It's waste. Ain't
that true, baby?

- Yeah, that's true.
- Yeah.

Most women, they
go for the gusto.

They want the big salami even
though it's mostly just pumping air.

I don't know, I
guess it's the as...

- Aesthetics.
- That's the stuff.

Very American,
very Texas, very...

bigger is better.

So tell me, doodle,

you banging this
handsome buck, hmm?

Because we all know Nubian
brothers are hung like rhinos.

Guess again. He's
a fudge packer.

What? Are you messing with me?

You're messing with me.

- Well, you don't look gay.
- Bend over.

- I'll show you.
- Easy.

It's good. That's funny. He's
funny. He's a funny bunny.

I like him. Isn't
he funny, baby?

- He's funny.
- Yeah.

So then what about
Happy man here?

Is he...

Do not tell me he's
a toot shooter too.

Nope, he's so damn
straight, he's got a padlock

up his asshole.

They're friends.

Well, ain't that special.

A story I'd like to hear
someday, but for now,

which one of these two gentlemen

are you porking, then, Trudes?

Both.

Oh, that is phenomenal.

That is truly generous.

That is so kind. What
about you, Paco?

Is she giving you
a little something?

She help you out with
a little southern comfort?

No, of course not.

And it's probably
because of the face.

Well, it sounds like you folks are
having a good ol' time at the ranch.

Me and Angel, we
don't... we're not...

She's a one-man woman.

And she's enough woman for any
man, ain't that right, sugar plum?

- That's right.
- Oh, baby.

Hey, Happy. How'd
you like to bang that?

I'll tell you, it is...
It is quite a ride.

It's fun.

It's also very dangerous.
Look at her shoulders.

Bitch has a snatch
like a bear trap.

She'll tear your dick right off.

She'll tear it clean off
if she wants to, gone.

Not Trudy, though. No way,
she's very, very different.

I bet she's all soft and
warm on the inside,

taffy-like, like dropping
into a hot chicken pot pie.

You asshole.

What?

- Thought so.
- I'm not afraid of you.

Go ahead, shoot me.

- Make you feel like a big man.
- Shut up!

- He'll do it.
- He's gonna do it anyway.

I won't give him the
satisfaction of being scared.

Look, please, ignore her.

She's always been
a little unstable and...

She doesn't know
what she's saying.

Sounds to me like she knows
exactly what she's saying.

No, she doesn't... Look,
I don't feel that way.

And I can see that you're
a business man, right?

I can see that.

And what I can also see is
that you're a reasonable...

Howie, come on, she's...

She has more balls
than you will ever have.

She's got balls so big, I
bet Lenny wants a piece.

Lenny?

You get it?

We got the cops.

So what? I love cops.

Let's go.

How y'all doing?

Hey, Officer, my
buddy caught his...

Sir, please slow down.

He caught his toe in a drill press.
We're just taking him to the hospital.

- You all right, sir?
- Okay, yeah, I'm good.

- Buddy.
- We'll get you some help.

- Everything all right, Bobby?
- Yeah, I think so.

Can you get back in the
front of the car please, sir?

Of course.

- Have any ID on you?
- Of course.

- Something happen?
- No, nothing happened.

Just a routine stop.

- Sir?
- Thank you, sir.

Can I have your license
and registration please, sir?

Please take your hood down, sir.

Thank you.

Industrial accident,
factory fire.

That sweet bastard went
back inside to save a cat.

Cat made it out fine.

- I need to see everybody's ID, please.
- Here you go, Officer.

Essential, baby. Essential.

All right, now Officer
Bob was a polite fellow.

How are you, Jimmy?

Okay, you're a
family man. I like that.

- And those are some handsome kids.
- Please...

Huh?

What, this?

Please... Well, if you insist.