All language subtitles for Hap and Leonard S01E01 Savage Season.DVDRip.NonHI.en.ANCHBY.EN

♪ There's a place up
ahead and I'm going ♪

♪ Just as fast as
my feet can fly ♪

Hold on, Softboy.

Robbery at First National Bank.

Guard shot and
killed. Suspects armed.

♪ Come on the rising wind ♪

♪ We're going up
around the bend ♪

Help me, man. I'm
bleeding out here.

Don't worry,
Softboy. I got this.

Get us the hell
out of here, man!

♪ Hitch a ride to the
end of the highway ♪

♪ Where the neons turn to wood ♪

♪ Come on the rising wind ♪

♪ We're going up
around the bend ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

We lost them.

Careful! Slow down!

Shit!

- Where's the road?
- Oh, shit!

♪ Come on the rising wind ♪

♪ We're going up
around the bend ♪

♪ Yeah... ♪

Softboy! Help!

♪ Do-do, do-do ♪

♪ Do-do, do-do ♪

♪ Do, do-do ♪

♪ Do-do, do-do ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Do-do, do-do ♪

That hairline going any further
south, gonna end up in Mexico.

- It's called "gently receding."
- It's called "disappearing."

Well, my brain's
growing... Growing weeds.

'Cause of all that
thinking I've been doing.

Thinking 'bout what?

All the money you
gon' save on shampoo?

Thinkin' about how
you talk too much.

Hey, you two. End of the day.

Collect your pay. You're done.

- On account of what?
- On account of cheaper labor.

Farm south of here went under.

Whole batch of
Mexicans just rolled in.

Christmas came early.

Send in the Mexicans!

God damn it!

- Leonard...
- Shit!

Well, that sucks.

So many kinds.

Regular's cheaper.

- Bottom shelf.
- Oh.

Cleanup on aisle four.

Those aren't cheap.

You can take a man's job,
but you can't take his cookies.

You doing coupons now?

Don't look at me.
He's the domestic one.

You got two bucks?

Thank you, miss.

Well, go on. Go get
the car, Rochester.

Oh, yes, sir, Massa
Hap. I'll go right away.

You like me to give
you a bath while you...

No, no, no. Thank you. Go on.

- 'Cause I'll do it now.
- Get out of here.

Okay, Massa. I'll
wash your feet, Massa.

It is so hard to get
good help these days.

Oh...

Pull.

You ever miss?

Just on purpose.

Oh, boy. Here comes trouble.

- Can you be nice for once?
- You just watch her.

- I'm watching.
- That's not what I'm talking about.

She does it again,
don't come crying to me.

- I look like a fool to you?
- And then some.

You just remember... A stiff
dick ain't got no conscience.

Hey, Hap.

Hey.

- Leonard.
- Trudy.

Check up on you later.
Remember what I said.

He mad about something?

- He doesn't like you.
- I forgot.

No, you didn't.

- Been a while, huh?
- Hmm.

I wanted to look good.

You do.

Jazzercise.

I got myself a video,
and I do what it says.

Us older ladies
have to work at it.

Well, it's working.

So you want something?

- Got any coffee?
- Mm-hmm.

Should we go up to the house?

That's where the coffee's at.

You still working
the rose fields?

It's honest work.

You deserve better.

What are you gonna do
when you're too old for it?

You sound like Leonard.

- Maybe he's smarter than I think.
- Oh, he is.

- Why's he hate me so much?
- Well, it was 20 years ago,

but I think him
joining up for the war

and then you giving him hell
for it had something to do with it.

I still think he was wrong.

If no one would fight,
there'd be no wars.

How's...
- What's his name?
- Howard.

Howard.

I don't think I'm
cut out for marriage.

I had you, and I
screwed that up, didn't I?

It was no great loss.

I left you for Pete
and Pete for Bill

and Bill for Howard.

- We got divorced a year ago.
- Oh.

Maybe I ought to grow up.

Relationships are
all about trust, I hear.

I trust you.

I've missed you, Hap.

It's been a long time.

Remember that summer

when we would dance
till the roadhouse closed?

Fool around in the back of
your car underneath the stars?

I wasn't fooling.

Neither was I.

♪ Well, I've never
yet been left ♪

♪ Brokenhearted ♪

♪ Because you never loved ♪

♪ Long enough to care ♪

♪ Can you tell my love ♪

♪ In my eyes ♪

♪ That I've been loving you ♪

♪ All the time I've
been lookin'? ♪

♪ I know that there's
another on your mind ♪

♪ And that he's the
one who keeps you ♪

♪ Always cryin'... ♪

Huh.

Is that for me?

Oh, that's not fair.

Nothing is, sugar.

♪ Can you tell my love ♪

♪ In my eyes ♪

♪ That I've been loving you ♪

♪ All the time I've been... ♪

- Yeah?
- She still there?

- Yeah.
- Shit.

Well, nice knowing you, brother.

A hard dick knows no conscience.

A wise man once told me that.

Bullshit. It always
mean more to you.

This is Leonard you're talking
to, not some rose field nigger.

'Cept you are a
rose field nigger.

And so am I.

A white one.

What you doing up so
late, minding my business?

Trying to get drunk.

She gonna dump
you again, you know.

You listening to Roy?

That's not good. Not
when you're drinking, buddy.

She still talking
that hippie shit?

People change, Leonard.

Wow! Like the '60s, man. Neat.

I was there too, Hap.

It was just the '80s
with tie-dyed T-shirts.

- Now, don't fall for it.
- No.

Nothing to fall for.

- Just getting laid.
- Yeah.

Guess every time you take a shit,
come out smelling like lollipops too,

you dumb son of a bitch.

Leave it. It looks good.

I'm starting to
look like my dad.

There's no beauty
in perfection, honey.

Hmm.

What's with the birdcage?

Picked it up at a yard sale.

Reminded me of Cheep.

It's funny, you know,
but I miss that little bird.

Me too.

Used to fly all
around the house.

Remember?

Like a Disney movie.

- Hap?
- Mm-hmm.

I need your help.

I'm broke, Trudy.

All I got are bills
and late notices...

I didn't come for money.

You always come for something.

You're the only one I could ask.

It's big, and it could
be good for both of us.

Okay.

Ask.

Hap, my love,

how would you like
to make $200,000?

You're soft, boy.

You fight like a man
that's been getting laid.

And you hit like
a man who isn't.

You're cute when you gloat.

- You know that?
- Hell, I'm cute when I fart.

And I'm cute when I take a shit.

No, when you take a shit,

you look like you're meltin'.

Stop!

So what you doing here, anyway?

You ain't never woke up this early
on a Sunday morning in your life.

I got a deal.

I was thinking about
cutting you in on it.

A lot of money.

- How much?
- Lots.

You could start
your own business.

Maybe get a little
shoeshine stand

down at the bus depot.

Whoa.

You all right, peckerwood?

I've been worse.

Barn's spinning, though.

You always overcommit
in love and war.

That's your problem, my friend.

Ever since we was kids.

- How much money we talking?
- $100,000...

each.

- We got to shoot somebody?
- Uh-uh.

All we got to do is swim for it.

I don't like being
railroaded like this, Hap.

You should have asked
me before you told him.

Well, if you don't want
him, you can't have me.

It's a package deal or no deal.

Howard wasn't that keen on
me asking you in the first place.

Just use that trailer
trash charm of yours.

Works on Hap.

Know what your
problem is, Leonard?

You're jealous.
Always have been.

Oh, baby, Hap's got a perky
ass and all, but he ain't my type.

Oh, just can it, both of you.

Can't we just
pretend to be friends?

For now, at least?

Okay, tell Leonard
what you told me.

I want him to hear it from you
before he makes up his mind.

Okay.

My last husband, Howard,

traveled the country speaking
against nuclear reactors

until he got arrested.

"Damaging government
property," they called it.

Howard thought it was his
responsibility as a human being...

Spare me the politics.
It is bad for my heart.

Just the goods, pretty please.

Fine.

Howard got sentenced to
two years at Leavenworth...

- My alma mater.
- All her ex-husbands go there.

And while he was in prison,

he met a man named
Softboy McCall.

They called him
the Raccoon Bandit.

Now, Softboy fancied
himself a gangster.

Help! Oh, shit!

Trudy: But he wasn't the
brightest crayon in the box.

Officer: Hey, hey.

Howard...

Trudy: Howard ends
up being his cellmate.

They get close.

They get so close,

he tells him about a
car full of stolen money

he left laying at the
bottom of the Sabine River.

A million dollars.

Tells Howard if he can
find it, he'll split it with him.

Let me guess the
end of this here story.

He told Howard
where the money is.

And no one else knows about it.

- What about this Softboy?
- He never made it out.

Prison food didn't suit him.

Hmm?

The police ain't search
the river for this money?

They did, but Softboy

left out one detail
he only told Howard.

- Hap: The Iron Bridge.
- Leonard: What bridge?

When Hap and I were married, he'd
talk about this old bridge in Marvel Creek.

My dad used to take me there fishin',
you know, when he could get around.

A lot of stories
about that bridge.

A lot of bad things happened
there over the years.

Local kids say it's haunted.

So, uh, how come you and Howard

ain't try to find the
money on your own?

Howard doesn't know the Sabine
River, and he can't find the bridge.

But Hap can.

Hell, Hap can't even
find a pair of shoes

he had on last night,
much less a bridge

he ain't seen in over 20 years.

'Cept my shoes don't
have a million dollars in 'em.

I need something like this.

So do you.

Now, what do you say, partner?

What are the cops doing here?

Hap: Uncle Chester.

Pine, this belongs to you.

What'd he do now?

Caused a nuisance
over at the pharmacy

over some out-of-date coupons.

- Coupons?
- Knocked over a display.

I was gonna run him in, but
Mr. Clemens wouldn't press charges.

Told me to bring him out here.

He threatened to shove
this cane up my ass.

- That all?
- Sideways.

Something funny?

No, no.

Who's she?

You don't recognize her?

That's Miss Laborde, 1967.

Don't smart-mouth me.

I-I wasn't. She actually is.

- We'll take him home.
- Thanks.

I need an answer, Hap.

Okay. Later.

Get, get!

Come on, shitheads.
Take me home.

I tell you, much as you've
been seeing the cops,

you might as well go and
get 'em a chauffeur's outfit.

Start tipping 'em.

Save your smart
mouth for your boyfriend.

I used to wipe
your black ass, boy.

That's a nice cane
you got there, Mr. Pine.

You trying to be funny?

- Nope. No, sir.
- Don't patronize me.

All right, Chester,
just lay off.

Rag on me all you want,
but leave Hap out of it.

He do me a favor.

Get... Get your
faggot hands off me.

Come on, lemme out, lemme out.

So you and your bitch can go
home and cheek stuff each other.

Come on.

Listen to me, Mr. Pine.

Your nephew is my friend.

Now, I don't like dick any
more than you do, but he does,

but that's his business.

He don't need
you riding him on it.

So you do that in
front of me again,

I'm gonna take that
cane, shove it up your ass,

break it clean off.

Understood?

So what's it with the
two of you anyway?

Him the way he is and
you the way you are.

- I don't get it.
- You don't have to.

Now, you can get
out of the truck, sir.

Sons of bitches!

Lowlife niggers!

What is it, Mr. Pine?

Oh, all them
crack-smoking shitheads,

they broke my lock again.

I ain't got shit, and they
keep breaking in anyway.

Stealing my toilet
paper, tuna fish.

Think that's funny.

Hap: Leonard...

You bad now, huh?

What you gonna do...

Oh!

Any one of y'all mess
with that old man again,

I'll come back and
rip you so hard,

your daddy ass'll bleed.

You hear me?

We done?

Yeah, we done.

- 'Bout that money...
- Mm-hmm?

- When we leavin'?
- Soon as.

Hey, what about
your .22 target pistol

and your Hopalong
Cassidy cap gun?

Ha, ha.

Maybe you could find a bazooka

or a couple of land
mines, some grenades.

Shit, we're just gonna dive
down to find that money,

not shoot at it.

You know, for a hell of a shot,

you sure do hate guns.

I don't mind guns.

I mind what they used for.

Look, Trudy's
your cross to bear.

We don't know this
Howard from nothing.

Oh, he's a hippie idealist.

He's gonna take that money
from the big bad capitalist bank

and give it to a good cause.

What cause?

Save the seals. Save the whales.

I didn't ask.

I get any money out of this,

the only cause
I'ma give it to is me.

- Seals ain't got no bills to pay.
- Yeah.

How close is this Howard
and Trudy, anyway?

I don't know, and I don't care.

I told you... Just
getting laid, that's all.

Boy, you keep
telling yourself that.

I don't know how I let you
talk me into these things.

Well, rumor has it, it's
something to do with my perky ass.

Christ, perky ass?

Oh, I only said
that to annoy Trudy.

You being alive annoys Trudy.

Good boy.

Yeah.

They gonna be okay
while you're gone?

Neighbor gonna
look after 'em for me.

Hey, babies.

What's his problem?

He's protective of Leonard,
especially around new people.

- Turns on a dime.
- That's why I named him Switch.

You think this is
funny, don't you?

Your dog is dangerous, Leonard.

Just a good judge of character.

What the hell is this place?

Used to belong to a biker gang.

The Feds busted 'em,

and the bank foreclosed
on the property.

Hey, Chub.

Oh, hey, Trudy.

This is Hap and
Leonard. They're with us.

- Hey.
- Hey.

I ain't giving my
share to no whales.

I read "Moby Dick." I
was rooting for Ahab.

This is Chub.

My real name's Charles.

Everybody calls me Chub,
you know, 'cause I'm fat.

I didn't know Trudy had
any African-American friends.

She don't.

I'm an admirer of
Martin Luther King.

Never met him. Gandhi, either.

I seen Elvis, though, once,

at Bob's Big Boy
when I was a kid.

Oh, I love Elvis.

Did you know that Elvis
had an Oedipus complex?

Chub's father had anger issues.

He used to beat on
my mama and me.

Trudy: Chub's been through
analysis. He's come real far.

Want to follow me?

♪ People run around Crazy Town ♪

♪ Seems they have found
a place to groove on ♪

♪ Just about the
time they're wound ♪

♪ Someone comes along
and says to move on ♪

Oh, my, he's a catch.

- Howard, this is Hap.
- Hey.

So nice to meet you.
So nice to meet you.

- Trudy's told me a lot about you.
- Oh.

And this is Leonard.

He's in on it too.

Wouldn't come without him.

It's like they're
married or something.

Leonard: Just engaged.

Still picking out china.

Trudy: It's okay.

Leonard was a marine.
He's a trained diver.

Yeah, right. So you swim, right?

Like a goddamn eel.

Okay, well, welcome.

So let's head inside.

Get the team
acquainted. Come on.

"Team." I like that.

Maybe we'll get some
T-shirts with a logo on it.

Thinking "Bozos," or
"Dipshit Ex-Husbands."

I'm Paco.

The spirit of the
era is still alive here,

and those ideals we held
are not dead, just sleeping.

Like a hibernating bear,
it's time we wake it up.

Yeah, that...
that... it's great.

That's all good, but
it's been a long drive,

and we thought we were
here to talk business, so...

This... this is our business.

To unite people.

Howard: We've become a
nation that values nothing,

except greed, consumption,

turning our backs on
those who need us most.

All the while lining the
pockets of Wall Street.

- Chub: Right.
- Big business.

The '90s are right
around the corner.

We're still ignoring
social injustices

like economic disparity,

and where's your piece of
the American pie, Leonard?

Oh, I ate mine.

Trudy: Howard's right.
People are getting smothered.

Rich get richer while
the poor get poorer...

- Howard: Get obliterated.
- Chub: Mm-hmm!

I mean, just look at you two.

Well, on that note, think
I'ma gonna go have me a pipe.

Call me when you get
around to the folk song part.

I'm good on "I Got a Hammer."

I don't think your
friend likes us.

Well, my friend didn't
spend the '60s smoking dope

and protesting.

No, he... he spent 'em

trying not to get his
ass shot off in Vietnam.

So he knows about guns.

Like a dog knows his own ass.

Hey, uh, why do
I get that feeling

that I-I'm being recruited?

Like-minded people
need to work together

if there's any hope for
change in this world.

Yeah, I think the
world will be as it is

with or without Hap Collins.

I learned that the hard way.

You can't be that jaded, Hap.

You used to dream
about these kind of ideas.

We can still make a difference.

With speeches?

With money, man.

There's a million dollars
at the bottom of that river,

and it can be a seed.

If we plant it, it'll grow,

and it can be used to
even the playing field

between the haves
and the have-nots.

Yeah, this, uh, have-not...

is gonna keep his money.

End of story.

Chub: You know, change is scary.

Some people, they can't do it,

and they just run and
hide in their little cocoon.

It's a defense mechanism.

Ow! Paco!

You cut out that self-help shit,

or I'll knock you down for real.

He ain't interested.

Let him find the bridge,
and leave it at that.

Well, I got to say, I
am disappointed, Hap.

Now, Trudy led me to
believe you'd be different.

Yeah, well...

Trudy doesn't know me
as well as she used to, so...

Look, it's been a long day,

and I think us kids
should, uh, call it a night.

What kids? We're
all adults here.

Really? Have you listened
to yourself recently?

'Cause you sound
like a college freshman

who's said good-bye to his
mom and dad and found dope

and liberal politics
for the first time.

Well, I can't help but think
there's more to this, Hap.

Well, maybe it has something
to do with your feelings for Trudy.

Making you lose sight
of the bigger picture.

Hey, uh, how's this
for a bigger picture?

- Whoa, hey. Whoa, hey.
- Howard, don't.

You can't argue with
him when he's like this.

She's right. I'd be willing
to place a small wager

on the fact that she's
not telling you everything.

But, I mean, she told me that...
That you two made love last night,

if that's what you mean.

Oh, God. Oh, God, no.

We don't play possessive
games here, man.

I mean, it's just sex, right?

It doesn't mean anything.

- Maybe it don't to you.
- No, hey, look.

Trudy doesn't belong to me,

and she doesn't
belong to you, all right?

She's her own woman,
and we're all friends here.

Yeah.

Ah!

We didn't come here
to make friends, friend.

Hap, let him go. It's over.

Howard, is it over?

Yeah. Yeah, man, it's over.

Good. Good.

Good night.

So, uh... so that's
your Howard, huh?

What happened to you?

Life.

And you.

That didn't help.

I'll tell you, boy,

I let you talk me
into some dumb shit,

but this right here
take the dumb shit cake.

Hmm.

These people a bunch
a cotton-pickin' clowns.

Maybe you're right,

but at least they're trying.

Well, if the '60s
had never happened,

you might still be drinking
out of a water fountain

marked "colored."

You sound like the fat one.

Where you going?

Take a ride.

I need some air.

That nigger's wetter
than a well digger's ass.

Damn it.

All right, nigger's
got a kid in the car.

You stay here, Hap.
Hold down the wagon train.

Stay put, you hear?

Hey there, fella. You
know you got a taillight out?

Hey there, Officer.

Yeah, I saw you pass
a ways back, and I, uh...

Hmm, okay.

Yeah, I'm afraid I'm gonna
have to write you up for it.

You got to do
what you got to do.

Are you high, son?

High on life.

- What's that?
- What's what?

I'm gonna need you to
step out of the car, son.

Come on.

Now, keep your hands
where I can see 'em.

Yes, sir.

- I need you to open this trunk.
- Uh-huh.

- This one?
- Yeah, this is the one.

- All right.
- Come on.

Do it. Do it slowly.

- The hell are you smilin' about?
- Disco.

- What-co?
- Disco ball.

Whump-whump. Whump-whump.

What the shit?

Oh!

That's my girl.

Now... I'm looking for
a man named Paco.