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1
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:06,335
[theme song playing]
2
00:00:54,555 --> 00:00:56,885
[hold music playing over phone]
3
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:02,020
Oh! Oh.
4
00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:12,737
Abuelita, give me back my yearbook!
5
00:01:12,823 --> 00:01:14,833
Your quinces is around the corner,
6
00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:16,828
and we need to pick a boy
to be your escort.
7
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There's no one in here. I just--
8
00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:21,618
Then use your phone
and Chapsmat somebody.
9
00:01:24,042 --> 00:01:26,042
You don't understand social media.
Abuelita--
10
00:01:26,128 --> 00:01:27,548
No, no, no. Of course I do.
11
00:01:27,629 --> 00:01:30,969
All you have to do is find a boy
and twat at him.
12
00:01:31,466 --> 00:01:32,966
[coughs softly]
13
00:01:34,386 --> 00:01:35,796
I hope you mean "tweet"?
14
00:01:35,888 --> 00:01:37,718
"Twat," "tweet." Same thing.
15
00:01:37,806 --> 00:01:39,516
Not the same thing, Mami.
16
00:01:40,684 --> 00:01:43,194
Can you guys go fight somewhere else?
I'm on hold with the VA.
17
00:01:43,270 --> 00:01:46,820
Okay, but Elena has to pick
an escort by today!
18
00:01:46,899 --> 00:01:48,939
Or we will not have
enough time to prepare.
19
00:01:49,026 --> 00:01:50,646
But I wanna go to the street fair...
20
00:01:50,736 --> 00:01:52,816
and my quinces is two months away!
21
00:01:52,904 --> 00:01:54,784
[mockingly] Jajaja. Qué funny!
22
00:01:59,536 --> 00:02:03,536
We still have to pick
the other 14 members of the court.
23
00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:05,834
We have to choreograph the dances.
24
00:02:05,918 --> 00:02:08,088
We have to pick the weakest dancers
25
00:02:08,170 --> 00:02:11,340
and put them in the back
and put a curtain in front of them.
26
00:02:12,215 --> 00:02:15,715
Elena, pick by the end of the day,
27
00:02:15,803 --> 00:02:18,183
or your escort will be Cousin Orencio.
28
00:02:18,263 --> 00:02:23,233
Cousin Orencio smells like a Dorito
that died in a pool of Axe body spray.
29
00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:25,401
[mutters]
30
00:02:25,478 --> 00:02:27,648
[scoffs] Good luck
getting him out of Tía Mimi's basement.
31
00:02:27,731 --> 00:02:29,361
I'll get him out of Tía Mimi's basement.
32
00:02:29,441 --> 00:02:30,531
Hey, no, don't touch that phone!
33
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¡Ay! [inhales sharply] Ay, ay, Elena.
34
00:02:33,695 --> 00:02:36,985
[sighs] Just take the yearbook
and pick somebody.
35
00:02:38,366 --> 00:02:39,366
[sighs] Fine!
36
00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:41,910
This should be fun!
37
00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:44,246
Pick whoever you want.
38
00:02:44,331 --> 00:02:47,791
As long as he is a dancer,
and he is Cuban,
39
00:02:47,876 --> 00:02:50,626
and he is handsome, and I'm coming in.
40
00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:53,382
[sighs]
41
00:02:57,469 --> 00:02:59,259
-[music stops]
-Hello?
42
00:03:00,222 --> 00:03:01,222
[music resumes]
43
00:03:02,474 --> 00:03:03,774
Ah!
44
00:03:03,851 --> 00:03:06,521
That's cold, VA. Ice cold.
45
00:03:07,687 --> 00:03:09,477
[knocking at door]
46
00:03:14,486 --> 00:03:17,856
Alvarez, let's go!
There's a street fair downstairs.
47
00:03:17,948 --> 00:03:19,908
Beer, food... this!
48
00:03:20,951 --> 00:03:23,001
[electronic sword clanking]
49
00:03:30,418 --> 00:03:31,668
Did you buy that?
50
00:03:32,838 --> 00:03:33,918
I won it...
51
00:03:34,006 --> 00:03:36,376
after spending 40 bucks at the ring toss.
52
00:03:38,093 --> 00:03:39,723
Wait, are you still on hold with the VA?
53
00:03:39,803 --> 00:03:40,723
No!
54
00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:42,848
I got right through.
55
00:03:43,849 --> 00:03:45,849
[both laughing]
56
00:03:47,102 --> 00:03:48,982
Wait, can I leave this up here
for safekeeping?
57
00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:50,562
-Who's gonna steal that?
-Schneider.
58
00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:51,767
Hide it in my mom's room.
59
00:03:52,357 --> 00:03:53,477
Anyway, I can't go.
60
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:55,987
Today's the day
I finally get through to Jolene.
61
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:56,989
[sighs deeply]
62
00:03:57,070 --> 00:03:59,950
She's my white whale. My Bigfoot.
63
00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:03,291
My meal cooked by my mother
using no pork products of any kind.
64
00:04:03,869 --> 00:04:06,159
[laughs] Hey, I served.
I get it.
65
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:08,576
But I try to never deal with the VA.
66
00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:10,955
I stopped calling them
about my punctured eardrum.
67
00:04:11,043 --> 00:04:12,423
That seems like a bad plan.
68
00:04:12,502 --> 00:04:13,962
Oh, thanks. I got it on sale.
69
00:04:16,131 --> 00:04:17,301
[Penelope shouts] I'll see you down...
70
00:04:17,382 --> 00:04:18,802
Yeah, she can't hear me.
71
00:04:18,884 --> 00:04:20,264
[woman on telephone]
Pain Management Department.
72
00:04:20,343 --> 00:04:22,393
Last name and last four digitsof your social--
73
00:04:22,470 --> 00:04:24,640
Alvarez, 2294... [groans]
74
00:04:24,722 --> 00:04:25,852
Are you... are you...
75
00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:26,933
Are you... are you there?
76
00:04:29,644 --> 00:04:30,984
Say something.
77
00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:35,403
-Please hold.
-Not that!
78
00:04:36,734 --> 00:04:38,494
-Hi.
-Hey, Ms. Alvarez.
79
00:04:38,570 --> 00:04:40,360
Hey, guys. How was baseball?
80
00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:41,527
Terrible!
81
00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:43,655
I mean, they played great.
82
00:04:44,701 --> 00:04:46,371
But my snack game was way off!
83
00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:49,213
The kids barely touched
my black olive tapenade.
84
00:04:50,498 --> 00:04:51,538
Thanks for helping out,
85
00:04:51,624 --> 00:04:53,674
but maybe next time pick a food
a kid would wanna eat...
86
00:04:54,252 --> 00:04:55,302
or has heard of.
87
00:04:56,504 --> 00:05:01,184
Yeah, and maybe next time,
don't hand out masks with my face on them.
88
00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:05,474
Handsome, but creepy.
89
00:05:10,227 --> 00:05:11,807
[groans]
90
00:05:15,107 --> 00:05:17,227
[exaggerated whimpering]
91
00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:21,360
-Ah--
-What, Mami?
92
00:05:23,907 --> 00:05:27,287
Your daughter is so dramatic.
93
00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:30,960
No puedo más.
94
00:05:31,456 --> 00:05:33,746
Mami, don't worry, she will pick someone.
95
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:35,844
-[inhales sharply] ¡Ay!
-You okay, Mom?
96
00:05:35,919 --> 00:05:36,749
Yeah.
97
00:05:37,295 --> 00:05:40,255
I just need to talk to Jolene
and get my shoulder squared away.
98
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:43,510
Here, take one of your pain pills.
99
00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:47,641
I thought you don't want me
to take "las drogas"?
100
00:05:47,722 --> 00:05:50,392
The pain in your body is real.
101
00:05:50,475 --> 00:05:53,185
The pain in your mind is in your head.
102
00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:55,689
[sighs]
103
00:05:57,607 --> 00:05:59,817
-What happened, Ms. Alvarez?
-It's nothing, Finn.
104
00:05:59,902 --> 00:06:01,492
Hey, don't be so modest.
105
00:06:01,569 --> 00:06:04,569
She jacked her shoulder up in Afghanistan,
being a hero.
106
00:06:04,656 --> 00:06:06,406
[scoffs] "Hero."
107
00:06:06,491 --> 00:06:08,331
Kabul, 2004.
108
00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:14,287
I was assisting in surgery
when a mortar hit close to the OR.
109
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:17,424
The blast caused
a pallet of surgical gloves
110
00:06:17,502 --> 00:06:19,382
to fall on my shoulder.
111
00:06:20,713 --> 00:06:22,423
The last part is not as impressive.
112
00:06:22,507 --> 00:06:24,427
But still, it is a war wound.
113
00:06:26,678 --> 00:06:29,558
Well... I thank you for your service,
Ms. Alvarez.
114
00:06:34,061 --> 00:06:36,271
Yeah, don't do that.
115
00:06:37,939 --> 00:06:40,319
So can we have some money for the fair?
116
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,400
Sure. Grab ten bucks from my purse.
117
00:06:43,278 --> 00:06:44,238
[Alex clicks tongue]
118
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:46,358
[groans]
119
00:06:50,493 --> 00:06:52,043
[groans loudly]
120
00:06:54,872 --> 00:06:56,372
-[sighs]
-What, papito?
121
00:06:57,459 --> 00:07:01,339
Well, it's just we need at least 20
to do anything fun.
122
00:07:02,047 --> 00:07:03,047
But it's okay.
123
00:07:04,007 --> 00:07:06,507
We can watch the other kids
have a good time.
124
00:07:08,637 --> 00:07:09,637
That sounds great.
125
00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:12,313
You don't even need the ten dollars.
126
00:07:13,558 --> 00:07:15,268
Okay, I get it. I'll take the ten.
127
00:07:15,352 --> 00:07:17,482
Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Guys, don't go anywhere.
128
00:07:17,562 --> 00:07:20,152
I have kind of an exciting announcement.
129
00:07:20,232 --> 00:07:23,072
Something went terribly wrong
in your adult diaper?
130
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:30,028
It's athleisure wear.
131
00:07:31,493 --> 00:07:34,373
But the good news is,
after months of planning,
132
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:38,924
the members of my college band
have finally put aside our differences...
133
00:07:39,417 --> 00:07:42,087
and we're reuniting to play
at the fair this afternoon.
134
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:52,639
All right. Maybe this will entice you.
135
00:07:58,103 --> 00:07:58,983
Nope.
136
00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:02,936
Well, it should,
because my band, Full Sail,
137
00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:04,154
plays yacht rock.
138
00:08:06,111 --> 00:08:07,861
¿Qué es el yacht rock?
139
00:08:07,945 --> 00:08:09,985
-Mami, don't ask--
-Yacht rock...
140
00:08:10,865 --> 00:08:14,735
is like easy listening music,
but even easier to listen to.
141
00:08:16,246 --> 00:08:17,956
It's cool, but not too cool.
142
00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:20,630
Soulful, but not too soulful.
143
00:08:20,708 --> 00:08:23,298
I'm excited, but not too excited.
144
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,014
And they paid you for this?
145
00:08:26,089 --> 00:08:28,549
Oh, no, I had to grease a few palms
to make it happen.
146
00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:29,683
So you're paying them?
147
00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:31,259
I don't want
to get into the economics of it.
148
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:35,563
But this gig is really important to me.
149
00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:37,350
These guys were like family.
150
00:08:37,434 --> 00:08:40,604
I used to show up at their dorm rooms
unannounced and just hang out
151
00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:42,807
for hours and hours and hours.
152
00:08:43,815 --> 00:08:46,775
I can't imagine what that would feel like.
153
00:08:46,859 --> 00:08:49,109
-[woman on telephone] Hello?
-[stammers] Guys...
154
00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:51,356
Yeah, I'm here. Did you find Jolene?
155
00:08:51,448 --> 00:08:54,078
-Just one more question, ma'am.
-Sure. Anything.
156
00:08:54,159 --> 00:08:57,369
Was that "Phillips" with a "P,"or "Fillips" with an "F"?
157
00:08:57,454 --> 00:08:58,914
[softly] What?
158
00:08:58,996 --> 00:09:01,786
Alvarez! With an "A"!
159
00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:05,301
Hold, please.
160
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,338
[dial tone humming]
161
00:09:07,422 --> 00:09:08,382
Wait, wait. Hello?
162
00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:10,300
Hello?
163
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:11,883
[whimpering] Hello?
164
00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:14,218
No! Come on.
165
00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:16,638
[muffled screaming]
166
00:09:18,641 --> 00:09:21,021
[hold music playing]
167
00:09:24,106 --> 00:09:25,186
Aw!
168
00:09:43,666 --> 00:09:44,666
[music stops]
169
00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:46,591
[woman on recording]
Did you know that over 40% of trips
170
00:09:46,669 --> 00:09:50,009
to the emergency roomare caused by preventable accidents?
171
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:50,970
That seems high.
172
00:09:52,342 --> 00:09:53,842
-[Schneider groans]
-What happened?
173
00:09:53,926 --> 00:09:56,386
It was a totally preventable accident!
174
00:09:56,471 --> 00:09:57,471
[groans]
175
00:09:57,555 --> 00:09:59,805
We were setting up for the show
and our keytarist
176
00:09:59,891 --> 00:10:01,941
threw a decorative anchor at me.
177
00:10:03,686 --> 00:10:04,846
Okay, I'm sorry you're hurt,
178
00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:07,688
but it sounds like I just missed
the best part of your show.
179
00:10:08,191 --> 00:10:10,991
This is why Full Sail broke up
in the first place.
180
00:10:11,068 --> 00:10:13,198
Too many passionate personalities.
181
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:16,990
I wanted to open with Toto.
Skip wanted to open with Steely Dan.
182
00:10:17,075 --> 00:10:20,445
Oh, you can't open with the Dan.
They're dangerously smooth.
183
00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:26,044
What are you doing here, Doc?
Why aren't you at work?
184
00:10:26,668 --> 00:10:27,668
What? Who, me?
185
00:10:29,045 --> 00:10:32,415
Well... you know,
I always love a good street fair.
186
00:10:32,507 --> 00:10:34,927
And-- and since you took
a half day off of work,
187
00:10:35,009 --> 00:10:36,049
I thought...
188
00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:38,299
maybe I should, too.
189
00:10:38,596 --> 00:10:39,636
YOLO!
190
00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:45,349
It stands for, "You Only Live Once."
191
00:10:47,522 --> 00:10:48,732
But why didn't you tell me
you were gonna be here
192
00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:49,855
when I saw you earlier?
193
00:10:49,941 --> 00:10:52,071
What's with all the questions?
194
00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:54,402
Is this Castro's Cuba or America?
195
00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:58,235
You-- you know I could take a look
at that eye for you myself,
196
00:10:58,324 --> 00:11:00,834
but there was
a lot of second-hand doobie smoke
197
00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:02,450
at that fair and, uh...
198
00:11:02,537 --> 00:11:05,497
I worry that I may have
a bit of a contact high.
199
00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:08,293
Here. Let me see.
200
00:11:10,044 --> 00:11:10,964
Is that glitter?
201
00:11:11,045 --> 00:11:14,215
It's called stage sparkle.
Can you please just get it out?
202
00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:17,925
If I had a magnifying glass,
I could probably get it out.
203
00:11:18,010 --> 00:11:19,550
Oh, I have one in my costume trunk.
204
00:11:20,555 --> 00:11:23,225
Halloween box. Tool kit. Man's tool kit.
205
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:26,637
Okay, whatever. Come on, let's just go.
Quick. Come on.
206
00:11:26,728 --> 00:11:29,228
Mami, I'm still on hold,
so if they pick up, remember...
207
00:11:29,314 --> 00:11:31,114
Alvarez, 2294.
208
00:11:34,944 --> 00:11:36,614
[hold music playing]
209
00:11:45,247 --> 00:11:46,287
[music stops]
210
00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:49,792
[woman on recording] Rememberto self-screen for testicular cancer.
211
00:11:52,754 --> 00:11:53,764
Good advice.
212
00:11:56,090 --> 00:11:59,220
My husband always asked me
to check for him.
213
00:12:10,605 --> 00:12:11,605
Daily.
214
00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:17,783
So, um...
215
00:12:18,363 --> 00:12:20,533
Thanks for inviting me to the fair.
216
00:12:21,491 --> 00:12:24,081
You don't think Penelope suspects
that we went together?
217
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:26,620
Or am I just paranoid from all that grass?
218
00:12:27,539 --> 00:12:31,249
I don't want her to think that we were
on a date or something.
219
00:12:31,334 --> 00:12:33,174
[laughs]
220
00:12:33,252 --> 00:12:35,552
No, she wouldn't think that.
[chuckles]
221
00:12:35,630 --> 00:12:37,420
It'd be ridiculous.
222
00:12:38,466 --> 00:12:41,966
Well, ridiculous is a little strong,
but...
223
00:12:44,555 --> 00:12:45,385
Lydia...
224
00:12:47,016 --> 00:12:49,436
you were so wonderful to me
at my birthday party.
225
00:12:50,019 --> 00:12:55,149
And I would just be very happy
if we could continue whatever this is.
226
00:12:55,232 --> 00:12:56,232
[chuckles]
227
00:12:57,319 --> 00:12:59,319
[romantic music playing over phone]
228
00:13:09,205 --> 00:13:13,165
Can I make you a café cubano?
229
00:13:14,544 --> 00:13:16,384
Sí, por favor.
230
00:13:17,422 --> 00:13:18,632
Rosetta Stone.
231
00:13:21,426 --> 00:13:23,886
-[device beeping]
-Oh, espere.
232
00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:26,060
It's time to take my pills.
233
00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:34,982
Actually, I'm glad you reminded me.
234
00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:59,165
So... here is to Vitamin D.
235
00:14:00,632 --> 00:14:02,342
-Vitamin D.
-[laughs]
236
00:14:06,596 --> 00:14:10,426
And, uh, estrogen replacement...
237
00:14:12,101 --> 00:14:13,941
to keep me young.
238
00:14:17,064 --> 00:14:19,324
For my cholesterol...
239
00:14:19,401 --> 00:14:20,741
so I don't die.
240
00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:25,454
What's going on here?
241
00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:27,492
Nothing! We're just taking drugs.
242
00:14:30,412 --> 00:14:32,752
So, uh, how is Schneider doing?
243
00:14:33,581 --> 00:14:35,171
Hey, guys, I'm heading down.
244
00:14:37,752 --> 00:14:40,592
This yacht rock band
is about to be boarded by a pirate.
245
00:14:41,589 --> 00:14:43,379
The sexy kind.
Not the kind that steals music.
246
00:14:43,466 --> 00:14:45,046
Although you can record the show for free.
247
00:14:46,511 --> 00:14:47,761
Just look for the big crowd.
248
00:14:47,845 --> 00:14:50,005
That's the kebab truck.
We're next to that.
249
00:14:50,681 --> 00:14:53,771
We're going too. Elena?
250
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:57,904
When I get back,
I'm going to call Cousin Orencio.
251
00:14:57,980 --> 00:14:59,520
[Elena screams]
252
00:15:01,108 --> 00:15:03,318
Sometimes you have to poke the bear.
253
00:15:05,613 --> 00:15:07,243
[woman] Pain Management Department.Can I help you?
254
00:15:07,323 --> 00:15:09,913
-Alvarez, 2294.
-Who are you holding for?
255
00:15:09,992 --> 00:15:13,622
-Jolene. I'm holding for Jolene.
-Transferring you now.
256
00:15:13,704 --> 00:15:14,964
-[gasps]
-[line ringing]
257
00:15:15,039 --> 00:15:17,919
Oh, my God. It's finally happening.
258
00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:22,757
-Okay.
-[line continues ringing]
259
00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:24,336
Come on.
260
00:15:25,383 --> 00:15:26,683
Pick up, Jolene.
261
00:15:27,719 --> 00:15:28,759
Pick up.
262
00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:30,852
Maybe you're peeing.
263
00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:34,227
That's okay. I have to pee,
but I'm gonna hold it.
264
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:38,265
Maybe you're grabbing
your four o'clock snack
265
00:15:38,354 --> 00:15:39,734
away from your desk.
266
00:15:39,814 --> 00:15:42,734
I'm not here to judge. You do you
at the vending machine, boo-boo.
267
00:15:44,401 --> 00:15:46,151
Answer the damn phone, Jolene!
268
00:15:46,988 --> 00:15:47,988
[man] Hello?
269
00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:50,775
Wait. Who is this?
270
00:15:51,242 --> 00:15:53,332
Please be a man named Jolene.
271
00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:56,371
No, this is Tad.
272
00:16:01,544 --> 00:16:03,714
But this is Jolene's extension, right?
273
00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:07,796
No, I think they accidentallytransferred you to an empty office.
274
00:16:07,884 --> 00:16:09,514
[scoffing]
275
00:16:09,594 --> 00:16:13,224
Well, it's not empty now,'cause I'm standing here talking to you.
276
00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:18,441
But after I hang up and leave,it'll be empty again.
277
00:16:20,312 --> 00:16:22,862
I just want an appointment
with a chiropractor.
278
00:16:23,065 --> 00:16:25,685
I'm Alvarez, 2294.
279
00:16:25,777 --> 00:16:27,357
Can you help me, Tad?
280
00:16:27,444 --> 00:16:28,454
Slow down.
281
00:16:31,616 --> 00:16:34,286
Let me see what we have here.
282
00:16:34,368 --> 00:16:36,038
[mutters]
283
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:38,920
Alvarez, 2294.
284
00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:45,129
-Oh.
-Oh?
285
00:16:45,213 --> 00:16:47,803
What's "oh"? Don't "oh" me, Tad.
286
00:16:48,466 --> 00:16:52,006
Sorry, but you need a referralfrom your primary care physician.
287
00:16:52,637 --> 00:16:53,887
[stammers] I have one.
288
00:16:53,971 --> 00:16:58,021
I sent a copy of it to Jolene's office,
like, two months ago.
289
00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:00,810
You should probably talk to Jolene, then.
290
00:17:00,895 --> 00:17:02,225
What?
291
00:17:02,313 --> 00:17:03,653
I know, Tad!
292
00:17:03,731 --> 00:17:04,941
So, now what?
293
00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:07,784
Sorry. Can you fax a new one over?
294
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:11,198
Fax it? You mean, e-mail it?
295
00:17:11,948 --> 00:17:13,118
[Tad laughing]
296
00:17:16,285 --> 00:17:17,285
Okay...
297
00:17:17,787 --> 00:17:20,537
So you want me to get in a time machine
298
00:17:20,623 --> 00:17:23,543
and go back to when they used
fax machines
299
00:17:23,626 --> 00:17:26,496
to send you something that
I know for a fact you already have?
300
00:17:27,088 --> 00:17:29,588
Well, if I had a time machine,
301
00:17:29,674 --> 00:17:31,434
I don't think I'd go back in time
302
00:17:31,508 --> 00:17:33,138
-and fax things.
-Oh, my God.
303
00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:35,603
I'd buy a lotto ticket.
304
00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:38,470
Okay, you know what? Focus, Tad!
305
00:17:38,975 --> 00:17:39,885
Okay.
306
00:17:40,643 --> 00:17:42,523
I think the market down the street
307
00:17:42,604 --> 00:17:45,824
has a fax machine
next to the off-brand candy bars.
308
00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:47,978
After the day I've had,
I deserve a Slickers.
309
00:17:49,026 --> 00:17:50,566
¡Elena, ven acá!
310
00:17:50,653 --> 00:17:53,113
-Tad, give me five minutes.
-Okay.
311
00:17:53,197 --> 00:17:55,737
I need you to watch the phone
while I run out. Remember--
312
00:17:55,825 --> 00:17:57,655
Alvarez, 2294. I know.
313
00:17:57,744 --> 00:18:00,204
If Tad picks up, keep him on the line.
314
00:18:01,873 --> 00:18:04,083
Did you take down
a bag and a half of Cheetos?
315
00:18:04,166 --> 00:18:05,416
Step off, girl.
316
00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:19,306
Hello? Abuelita?
317
00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:20,520
Elena?
318
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,560
Alex, no one's home. Your mom just left.
319
00:18:22,644 --> 00:18:24,774
Just grab some pills
and let's get out of here.
320
00:18:24,854 --> 00:18:26,154
Yeah, I don't know.
321
00:18:26,856 --> 00:18:28,726
Maybe we should just hang out
and play video games?
322
00:18:28,816 --> 00:18:31,186
[scoffs] Come on,
your mom won't even notice.
323
00:18:31,277 --> 00:18:34,907
I heard Shane Lennon sold
one of his dad's pills for 20 bucks.
324
00:18:36,574 --> 00:18:40,084
Or I could just take you off
the group chat with all of our friends.
325
00:18:41,078 --> 00:18:43,498
The only thing worse than being
in a group chat...
326
00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:45,290
is not being in a group chat.
327
00:18:46,709 --> 00:18:48,709
[sighs] Fine, I'll do it.
328
00:18:48,795 --> 00:18:51,835
Great. I'll stand guard
and if I see somebody coming, I'll yell...
329
00:18:52,757 --> 00:18:54,257
"Tumbleweed." That's our code word.
330
00:18:54,341 --> 00:18:55,471
Why is that the code word?
331
00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:57,431
I don't know. Shut up.
332
00:19:00,556 --> 00:19:01,926
No, you shut up.
333
00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:11,614
-[exhales heavily]
-[pills rattle]
334
00:19:22,411 --> 00:19:23,661
[door opens]
335
00:19:30,294 --> 00:19:32,304
[hold music playing]
336
00:19:52,358 --> 00:19:54,938
[woman on recording] Having troublecommunicating with your family members?
337
00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:56,527
[scoffs] You could say that.
338
00:19:58,155 --> 00:20:00,365
Feeling like no one understands you?
339
00:20:00,449 --> 00:20:01,369
Yep.
340
00:20:01,658 --> 00:20:04,748
Losing your appetitedue to depression or anxiety?
341
00:20:06,538 --> 00:20:08,168
Obviously not.
342
00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:14,593
[sighs]
343
00:20:14,671 --> 00:20:18,091
Do you have advice for feeling
like the weirdo in your family?
344
00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:22,432
For explaining that you don't want
to pick a boy
345
00:20:22,513 --> 00:20:24,603
to be the escort to your quinces,
'cause...
346
00:20:24,682 --> 00:20:26,932
[scoffs] you don't even know
if you like boys.
347
00:20:27,434 --> 00:20:29,484
-Reach out and talk to someone.
-[Elena scoffs]
348
00:20:30,980 --> 00:20:31,900
Yeah.
349
00:20:32,106 --> 00:20:34,186
That'll go great. How do I even do that?
350
00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:37,531
"Hey, Mom, I think I might like girls."
351
00:20:37,611 --> 00:20:39,241
-[electronic sword clanking]
-[Alex] Damn it!
352
00:20:46,787 --> 00:20:49,077
What are you doing here?
Why are you spying on me?
353
00:20:51,167 --> 00:20:52,667
Tumbleweed.
354
00:20:57,173 --> 00:20:58,763
I'm not even gonna ask about the sword.
355
00:20:58,841 --> 00:21:00,131
What are you doing with Mom's pills?
356
00:21:00,718 --> 00:21:01,888
-I can explain.
-Mmm-hmm.
357
00:21:02,470 --> 00:21:03,550
I was stealing them.
358
00:21:06,307 --> 00:21:07,927
Mom is going to kill you.
359
00:21:08,017 --> 00:21:10,807
I mean, quite literally,
she is going to kill you.
360
00:21:10,895 --> 00:21:14,145
Resuscitate you, kill you again,
and then ground your lifeless body.
361
00:21:15,566 --> 00:21:18,186
I didn't really want to.
It was Finn's idea.
362
00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:19,397
Please don't tell Mom.
363
00:21:20,154 --> 00:21:23,074
I won't, but what's Finn's problem anyway?
364
00:21:23,157 --> 00:21:25,657
You're gonna let him turn you into
a little Latino drug dealer?
365
00:21:25,742 --> 00:21:26,792
Stereotype much?
366
00:21:26,869 --> 00:21:29,249
It's not drug dealing. God.
367
00:21:29,330 --> 00:21:31,540
We were just going to sell pills
to get some money.
368
00:21:34,460 --> 00:21:35,500
Oh.
369
00:21:35,586 --> 00:21:37,046
[sighs]
370
00:21:38,505 --> 00:21:39,625
[sighs]
371
00:21:43,719 --> 00:21:44,719
So...
372
00:21:45,638 --> 00:21:48,428
did you hear what I was saying
while you were back there?
373
00:21:49,558 --> 00:21:52,098
Nah, that curtain is pretty thick.
374
00:21:55,397 --> 00:21:58,477
You can't say anything to anyone.
375
00:21:58,567 --> 00:22:00,687
It's not that I'm embarrassed.
I'm just not sure.
376
00:22:01,278 --> 00:22:02,908
I promise. I won't say anything.
377
00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:06,450
Anyway, it doesn't matter.
It's not like you'd be in trouble.
378
00:22:07,618 --> 00:22:09,998
I mean, who cares, right?
379
00:22:12,498 --> 00:22:13,618
Good brother.
380
00:22:14,667 --> 00:22:16,957
Now I really don't understand
what's going on.
381
00:22:18,629 --> 00:22:19,959
[woman on phone] Hello?
382
00:22:20,047 --> 00:22:22,797
[both shouting] Alvarez! 2294!
383
00:22:22,884 --> 00:22:24,394
Who are you holding for?
384
00:22:24,468 --> 00:22:27,468
I don't know, but please don't hang up!
We gotta keep her talking.
385
00:22:27,554 --> 00:22:30,434
-Is this Penelope Alvarez?
-Yes!
386
00:22:30,516 --> 00:22:31,516
I'm Penelope.
387
00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:35,310
I'm a badass, who served in Afghanistan
doing army stuff! Hooah!
388
00:22:37,147 --> 00:22:38,437
And I'm her son, Alex.
389
00:22:38,524 --> 00:22:41,864
I know my mom sounds young,
but these days, babies having babies...
390
00:22:41,944 --> 00:22:43,244
I'm back!
391
00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:45,410
Thank God.
I was running out of material.
392
00:22:46,365 --> 00:22:47,445
What happened to you?
393
00:22:47,533 --> 00:22:50,333
I got roughed up pushing through the crowd
on the way to the market.
394
00:22:50,411 --> 00:22:51,951
That kebab line is no joke.
395
00:22:52,914 --> 00:22:55,464
-[woman on phone] Hello?
-Hello, hello? Who is this?
396
00:22:55,541 --> 00:22:58,001
This is Jolene in Pain Management.
397
00:22:58,085 --> 00:23:01,335
Oh, Jolene! Oh, my God, Jolene.
398
00:23:01,422 --> 00:23:02,302
Hey, let's go.
399
00:23:02,381 --> 00:23:05,381
It's time for the smooth,
summer sounds of Full Sail.
400
00:23:05,926 --> 00:23:07,216
Schneider made me say that.
401
00:23:07,719 --> 00:23:10,009
Wait! Let me warm up my voice
before the show.
402
00:23:10,097 --> 00:23:11,307
Boo...
403
00:23:11,390 --> 00:23:12,680
Yep, I'm good.
404
00:23:14,601 --> 00:23:15,691
What happened to Tad?
405
00:23:15,769 --> 00:23:17,849
Would you like me to transfer you to Tad?One moment.
406
00:23:17,939 --> 00:23:20,899
No, no, no! No! I want you, Jolene.
407
00:23:20,983 --> 00:23:22,363
Can I help you?
408
00:23:22,443 --> 00:23:25,573
Yes, ma'am. Oh! I'm so excited.
409
00:23:25,654 --> 00:23:28,664
I'm sorry, I don't mean to fangirl out,
but you are Jolene.
410
00:23:29,658 --> 00:23:30,738
Yes, I am.
411
00:23:31,368 --> 00:23:32,238
Whoo!
412
00:23:32,786 --> 00:23:34,996
It has been a trip getting to you, mama.
413
00:23:35,247 --> 00:23:38,377
Okay, so I just want to make
an appointment with the chiropractor.
414
00:23:38,459 --> 00:23:40,459
-So if you have anything for next week--
-I'm sorry.
415
00:23:40,544 --> 00:23:42,554
You're gonna have to call back on Monday.
416
00:23:44,340 --> 00:23:46,800
-Why can't you help me now?
-I have to go.
417
00:23:48,594 --> 00:23:49,644
Okay.
418
00:23:50,554 --> 00:23:52,764
I-- I don't mean to be difficult.
419
00:23:52,848 --> 00:23:54,518
Still a huge fan.
420
00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:57,020
But isn't the VA open until 5:00?
421
00:23:57,103 --> 00:24:02,363
It is, but if I don't catch the 4:30 bus,I have to take the 4:45.
422
00:24:03,275 --> 00:24:04,275
So...
423
00:24:07,863 --> 00:24:10,283
I've been trying to get in contact
with you for a month.
424
00:24:10,366 --> 00:24:12,696
You can't take five minutes
to help me out?
425
00:24:12,785 --> 00:24:16,285
Well, you don't understand.I have to leave.
426
00:24:18,290 --> 00:24:20,460
Well, then, walk me through it, Jolene.
427
00:24:20,542 --> 00:24:22,172
Because I don't understand.
428
00:24:22,253 --> 00:24:24,173
What I do understand is...
429
00:24:24,254 --> 00:24:26,474
I went to war, I got hurt.
430
00:24:27,091 --> 00:24:30,431
And when I came back, there was
supposed be an organization set up
431
00:24:30,511 --> 00:24:33,721
to help me and other veterans
get the help we need.
432
00:24:33,805 --> 00:24:38,475
So I don't get why it's so hard
to make a simple appointment.
433
00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:40,100
And I'm one of the lucky ones.
434
00:24:40,479 --> 00:24:46,319
My husband has bad knees,
a bad back and traumatic brain injury.
435
00:24:47,236 --> 00:24:48,776
He's not getting help.
436
00:24:48,862 --> 00:24:54,832
Partly because he's a stubborn ass,
but mostly because of this insane process.
437
00:24:54,910 --> 00:24:58,160
And because he's not getting help,
he almost did something stupid.
438
00:24:59,373 --> 00:25:03,133
I lost someone in my unit
because she did do something stupid.
439
00:25:03,210 --> 00:25:06,920
So, please, enlighten me, Jolene,
440
00:25:07,005 --> 00:25:09,925
as to why helping soldiers
is less important
441
00:25:10,008 --> 00:25:12,218
than you catching your goddamn bus.
442
00:25:14,221 --> 00:25:16,011
-Hold, please.
-[scoffs]
443
00:25:18,434 --> 00:25:20,274
-[hold music playing]
-[sighing]
444
00:25:41,415 --> 00:25:42,415
[music stops]
445
00:25:42,499 --> 00:25:44,629
[Jolene] I have seta chiropractor appointment
446
00:25:44,710 --> 00:25:47,460
for Alvarez, Penelope, 2294,
447
00:25:47,546 --> 00:25:50,876
next Monday at 11:00 a.m. with Dr. Pearl.
448
00:25:50,966 --> 00:25:52,256
Will that work for you, ma'am?
449
00:25:52,343 --> 00:25:54,353
Yes, that would be great.
450
00:25:54,428 --> 00:25:55,798
-Thank you so mu--
-[line disconnects]
451
00:25:57,181 --> 00:25:58,931
[laughs]
452
00:25:59,558 --> 00:26:00,848
Classic Jolene.
453
00:26:03,729 --> 00:26:05,899
[sighs] Yeah!
454
00:26:05,981 --> 00:26:07,691
[gasps] ¡Ay! Okay.
455
00:26:07,774 --> 00:26:09,614
[whispers] That was a bit too much.
456
00:26:09,693 --> 00:26:11,113
[sighs deeply]
457
00:26:12,028 --> 00:26:13,698
Ah! Yeah!
458
00:26:13,780 --> 00:26:16,280
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...
459
00:26:22,664 --> 00:26:24,334
-[panting]
-[band playing outside]
460
00:26:25,459 --> 00:26:26,539
Yeah.
461
00:26:26,627 --> 00:26:27,917
All right.
462
00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:32,010
[Schneider over PA] Ahoy, Echo Parrrk!
463
00:26:33,675 --> 00:26:35,545
We be Full Sail!
464
00:26:35,636 --> 00:26:37,886
[Elena] Boo!
465
00:26:37,971 --> 00:26:39,221
[Schneider] Come on, Elena!
466
00:26:43,352 --> 00:26:46,772
[Schneider singing out of tune]
♪ It's not in the way that you hold me ♪
467
00:26:47,814 --> 00:26:51,324
♪ It's not in the way you say you care ♪
468
00:26:52,861 --> 00:26:56,531
♪ It's not in the way you lookOr the things that you say that you do ♪
469
00:26:56,615 --> 00:26:57,945
♪ Hold the line ♪
470
00:26:58,033 --> 00:26:59,163
Oh!
471
00:27:00,286 --> 00:27:03,786
♪ Love isn't always on time ♪
472
00:27:04,956 --> 00:27:06,956
[music continues playing]
35182
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