All language subtitles for one.day.at.a.time.2017.s01e06.720p.webrip.hevc.x265.rmteam

Mom, I'm gonna miss the first pitch.
Go faster!

Alex, you know Mrs. Resnick
doesn't go faster.

Unless we're going downhill,
and then she might not stop.

We are so late. Just try.

[car rattling]

Mom, I smell gas.

All right.

Now, you smell Hawaii.

Maybe the car's mad 'cause
papi stuck it with the name Mrs. Resnick.

You know your papi named her
after a hot teacher he had a crush on.

Yeah, but by now I bet Mr. Resnick's
traded her in for a younger model.

That's not funny, papito.

[Elena] It's not funny.

Society treats middle-aged women
shamefully.

I read a study online--

Okay, who wants to hear some tunes?

[both] No!

-["Un-Break My Heart" playing on stereo]
-♪ Don't leave me in all this pain ♪

♪ Don't leave me out in the rain ♪

[music stops]

Aw, right before the good part.

There is no good part.

That CD's been stuck in this car
my whole life.

Uh, excuse me? It's a cassingle.

[car puttering]

Why are we slowing down?

[groans loudly] Who turned on the AC?

You know Mrs. Resnick can't handle that!

I'm sorry, but it's 90 degrees and you
won't let us roll the windows down.

Because then they don't go back up.

And it's only a crime to leave children
in a hot car if it's parked.

-I looked it up!
-[car rattling]

[Penelope sighs]

Great. Okay, guys.

You know the drill.

Por favor, Santa Francisca de Roma,
ayúdanos.

Uno, dos y tres.

[engine starts]

[whoops and laughs] See?

Mrs. Resnick's still got it.

[engine sputtering]

[sighs]

[engine turns over]

Ugh.

Well...

it'll probably be 20 minutes
before a tow-truck gets here.

So, what should we do to pass the time?

Oh, I know.

-["Un-Break My Heart" playing on stereo]
-♪ ...break my heart ♪

♪ Say you'll love me again ♪

Everybody!

♪ Undo this hurt you caused ♪

[theme song playing]

Oh, hello.

What are you doing, Mami?

This is supposed to make your skin glow.

It's called a sheet mask.

[all laugh]

Mami, "sheet."

It's called a sheet mask.

That's what I said, "sheet."

So, would you say you are
sheet-faced right now?

-[laughs]
-Ah! Stop...

-or the sheet will hit the fan.
-[all laugh]

You are back so late,
I decided to have a little me time.

Can you feel it working? Hey, guys.

-[sighs] Oh!
-[alarm beeping]

[Schneider exhales]

And... we are 29 again.

[both laugh]

Where you guys been?

Mrs. Resnick broke down again
and had to be towed to the mechanic.

Hector's looking at it now.

Oh, how is Hector?

I feel like I haven't seen him for days.

Did he ask about me?

Oh, papito.
What happened to your pants?

I ripped them getting out of the trunk.

You keep him in the trunk now?

No, the doors got stuck again so we all
had to climb out through the back.

It was terrible.

Now the whole team calls me
"Butt-Trunk Boy."

They could've called me
"Junk in the Trunk." It was right there.

-[cell phone ringing]
-Oh. Oh, guys.

This is Hector. Hector...

Hector! Hello, give me some good news.

What? No!

Okay, well, what exactly needs replacing?

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Okay, well, what about... Oh, huh.

Uh-huh?

[sighs and gasps]
Oh, you saved the cassingle!

[clicks tongue] It unspooled.

That's okay, Hector, no.
Um, thank you. Thank you.

[sighs heavily]

Guys, Mrs. Resnick is...

Muerta.

I can't believe it.

You know, your papi picked me up
for our first date in that car.

It was brand new.
Only 60,000 miles on it.

We drove Mrs. Resnick up the coast...

and at sunset,
your papi bet me $5 that he'd marry me.

He even wrote our initials
in a little heart on the bill.

I still have it somewhere.

Aw, you never take us to Malibu.

That's what you got from that story?

Yeah, but the good news is
you're getting a new car.

Oh, sure, I'll just have
the butler pick it up.

[laughs] Oh, butlers work at the estate.

Chauffeurs pick up cars.

Lupe, if you need money for a car,
I am here to help.

I will teach dance again!

It is a gift that I have
withheld from the world

far too long.

She taught me how to salsa.
She was amazing.

I do it for the joy. [laughs]

You owe me $30.

Okay, well, why don't we take
public transportation

and reduce our carbon footprint?

It's the best way to save money,
and besides,

I don't want you to have to go
into my college fund.

[laughing]

College fund?

You see that dish of change by the door?
That's your college fund.

Well, not the quarters,
'cause I need that for laundry.

Elena, mi niña, a family needs a car.

In Cuba, my best memories
are the long rides with my papi

in a Chevy the size of this apartment.

It was glorious.

His beloved little daughter on one side
and on the other,

his beloved bottle of rum.

That sounds dangerous.

No, no, no, no,
we didn't have seatbelts then.

We would just roll out quick.

Well, I'm going to start
taking public transportation,

you know, to help atone
for the environmental devastation

that my ancestors and their gas-guzzlers
so cruelly left to this earth.

Why does everything have to be a crusade
that is also annoying?

Abuelita's right.
We need a car, but we can't afford a car.

Unless we get a crazy good deal,
which means we're screwed, because...

car salesmen are scary.

But not to you.

You were in the Army!

Yeah, you're always saying
you're a "badass."

I am a badass!

But I'm also kind of a scaredy cat,
you know, because...

[sighs] I never bought a car before,
you know?

That salesman is gonna see me
coming a mile away.

Then he's gonna do that thing
where he talks to the guy.

And then they're gonna say
something about floor mats,

and then, "blah, blah, blah,"
I wake up in an ice tub,

because someone took my kidneys.

I am a total stereotype.

A woman that doesn't know
anything about cars.

It would be so much easier
if Victor were here.

I hate to say this,
but this is husband work.

Okay, Mom, this is not just a car anymore.

It is the symbol of the oppression
that the bonds of marriage

have placed upon you as a woman.

[slowly] You can do this.

-So you are for the car now?
-No!

But as a crusade, yes.

Annoying.

-Yeah, I can do this. Yes. Yes.
-Yes!

'Course you can, you just need
to do a little research.

In the meantime,
I'll take Alex to baseball.

Gives me a reason to break out
the athleisure wear.

What the hell is that?

It's workout clothes you cannot sweat in.

My car broke down yesterday
and I have to buy a new one.

Oh, no, no, no.
[stammers] I hate car dealerships.

I went to buy my daughter
an inexpensive car,

and she drove off in a BMW!

And then I had to buy it!

Very hard to negotiate
when the car's halfway to Vegas.

Well, I'm feeling pretty good,

'cause I spent all last night

-learning about cars.
-Oh! Oh!

Can you tell me what
"anti-lock brakes" are?

I mean, why should they ever lock?

[sighs] I believe
you're talking about ABS.

Which is just a system that allows
the wheels to maintain tractive control

during sudden stops! What? What?

[laughs] Very impressive!

Uh, do you know how to repo a BMW?

No, but I am very proud of myself,

because this is my first big purchase
without Victor.

Yeah, girl!
You don't need no man!

Ooh!

Actually, I do.

[scoffs] Apparently when a woman goes
to a dealership without a man,

they are quoted a higher price.

So I was thinking,

maybe you can come
with me and pretend to be my--

-Husband?
-I was gonna say dad, but sure...

I am in!

Great! That's so great!
We're gonna go tomorrow, okay?

I am out!

I... I can't do tomorrow.

It has to be tomorrow.

It's the end of the month,
and the best time to negotiate.

I'm sorry, I'm seeing my daughter
for the first time in ages,

and she's bringing her therapist,
and lawyer and life coach.

It's going to be so good to see
these people I've been paying.

You're home later than usual.

Saving the world takes time.

You know... [sighs] I used
all public transportation today.

I went to school, I went to the library.

I came home. Zero carbon footprint.

[mocking] Zero interesting words.

Come on, abuelita,
I saw beautiful parts of the city,

I talked to fascinating people,

and I pushed myself
outside my comfort zone.

When's the last time you did that?

[smacks lips] When I moved here
as a 15-year-old girl

without my family
and not speaking the language.

Is that well ever gonna run dry?

They took our well!

Anyways, I explored the city today, too,

when I was putting up my fliers,
so I may teach the world to dance again.

There's a part of you that actually thinks
the world stopped dancing

when you quit teaching, isn't there?

Yes.

-Mom, today was the best day.
-Ooh!

Everyone saw me in Schneider's Range Rover
and thought I was a total pimp!

Mmm.

Don't say pimp or you'll get grounded!

Seriously, Mom, his car is amazing.

The seats warm up.

You wouldn't think you want a warm butt...
but you totally do.

It's all the best parts of
peeing your pants

without any of the wetness.

You should've seen Schneider.
The other parents were obsessed.

[chuckles]

Connie Merkelson told me she's never seen
anybody slice apples with such grace.

Not gonna lie,
she was throwing me some red hot heat.

Connie Merkelson is a gay lady.

But... thank you for taking Alex.

And actually, I have another favor to ask.

Okay, but with Connie...

I think she might walk
both sides of the street.

I'm gonna stay on the case.

Tomorrow I'm gonna buy a car,
and so that I don't get screwed,

I need a male presence
to pretend to be my--

-Son?
-Really?

You're older than me.

I was gonna say husband.

Oh! A May-December thing.

Gross, but okay.

[sighs] So I know you've been doing
your research.

-What's our play?
-You don't talk.

-Arm candy. I hear ya.
-Yeah.

I'm just gonna walk up to that salesman,
I'm gonna look him in the eye,

and I'm gonna say, "Here's what's up.

You're gonna sell me
a 2012 pre-owned Honda CR-V,

low mileage, no upsell,
for the bluebook price,

or I will burn this building down!"

[chuckles] Save that fire
for the bedroom, babe.

You're comin' on way too strong.

No, I gotta be tough.
They gotta see that I ain't no punk.

They also gotta see that you didn't
just get out of a women's prison.

Look, you know your stuff.
Just throw in a little charm.

For example,
I have my own little secret weapon.

[clears throat]

Whoopsies!

[clears throat]

What?

[Schneider grunts]

Guess who just got a large latte
for the price of a small?

I'm trying to buy a car,

not impress a white girl with dreadlocks
who likes flat asses.

I'm just saying,
I got tricks to get people on my side.

What are you bringing to the table?

Playing the veteran card is genius.

Hey! I earned this guilt.

But, yeah, I kinda feel sorry
for the salesman.

[both chuckle]

Beautiful lady veteran,
you're gonna own this guy.

Hey, folks.

I'm Jill.

Can I answer any questions for you?

[whispers] I got this!

Whoopsie!

Damn it, that's a Montblanc!

-Oh, yeah...
-[Schneider grunts]

That's my husband.

I married him for his flat ass.

I see you served.

Yes, I was an army medic in Afghanistan.
Yeah... [groans loudly]

[wincing] Ai, sorry, sorry!

I sustained a shoulder injury
in the field.

It was a difficult time,
but I'm proud to serve my country.

-I hear what you're saying.
-Thank you.

Sergeant Riley.

I was a driver and gunner in Baghdad.

Hooah!

[softly] Hooah.

Pardon me a second.

Hey, Michaels, step away from the donuts.

The customers need them
and you definitely don't.

Schneider, she is not gonna
give me any sympathy.

She's more badass than I am.

Yeah, I got bigger fish here, Penelope.

Anyway, this Honda CR-V is an LX.
It's got low mileage.

Five-star safety rating, ABS--

Which is different than EX,

because it has smaller wheels
and no fog lights,

'cause I ain't no punk!
Oh, I'm sorry.

[chuckles]

Somebody's been doing their research.

You know what? I am a straight shooter.
I tell it like it is.

Then why are you lyin' about that guy
being your husband?

What, what?

Come on! You served in the Army!

You've trained to rappel
out of helicopters.

And you're gonna tell me
that you're married to that haircut?

[Schneider] Do you guys have
one of those grabber claw thingies?

We're not married, I'm sorry.

It's just that my real husband and I
are actually separated

and this is my first big purchase
without him.

I get it.

There's no reason you and I
can't figure this out, just the two of us.

[Schneider] Oh, God. Spider.

Spider!

I'm glad we enlisted and not him.

[Lydia] So, mi niña...

how was the crusade today?

[sighs] Another great day on the bus.

Oh, which one did you take?

Uh, the 60?

That goes to Vernon?

Oh, my favorite butcher is there.

I once saw a woman rip the weave
off another woman over a leg of lamb.

It was me.

[laughing]

[scoffs] Well, Vernon's library is
much better than ours.

My bus driver actually tipped me off.

-Georgie, Miguel or Petros?
-Petros.

Petros only works on weekends.

Sorry, it was Miguel.

There is no Miguel. I made him up.

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

Okay! I hate the bus!

Whoa, what?

I'm a fraud!

I've been lying these past two days.

It's okay, we know!

Public transportation is hard.

The seats are small, it kind of smells...

One time, I fell asleep
and somebody stole my socks.

They left my shoes!

Mi vida, it's not that bad.

Just yesterday,
I took the bus to the farmer's market

and then I went to collect on some
bottles that I had saved.

Wait, so you used mass transit

to shop for locally grown produce
and then recycled?

-That's like triple fossil fuel savings.
-Mmm.

Oh, my God!

Abuelita's greener than you.

[chuckles] Well, Abuelita,
I guess you're my new hero.

Ah, Elena...
I've always been your hero.

Abuelita, what's this?

That is the flier for my dance classes.

I've been hanging them
all over the neighborhood.

"Experienced Latina will make your body
do things you didn't know it could"?

What? It's true.

Abuelita, it's just the wording
is kind of provocative.

As is the photo!

[cell phone buzzing]

Don't be ridícula.

[gasps] Oh, look, I got 58 new messages.

Wow! Oh, and I got a customer.

His name is Bobby...

and he wants...

I need to get a new phone number.

Congrats on the new car, Alvarez.

Oh, thank you, Riley.
I like this last name thing.

Brings me back to my old Army days.

You know, sometimes I'll get in early
and hang out with the mechanics

just 'cause I miss the swearin' so much.

I have kids.

-So I totally fudgin' get that.
-[both chuckle]

But seriously,
I feel like I got a really good deal.

Uh, you are a tough negotiator.

In all fairness,
you got a pretty great trade-in, girl.

I can't believe I gave you
40 bucks for that thing.

Hey, it's got a full tank of gas.

The fuel gauge is broken,
so you're gonna have to trust me on that.

Now, just clear out
all your personal effects

and we'll get you squared away.

[chuckles]

Mrs. Resnick.

I'm gonna miss you, old lady.

Ah! ¡Ay, carajo!

[groans]

[sighs]

Toni...

[inhales deeply]

[sighs]

[knocking on window]

Everything all right?

I can't get rid of this car.

[thuds]

I can see why.

Talk to me, Alvarez.

This was Victor's car.

My soon-to-be ex.

Oh.

Got a lot of memories in here.

We drove off on our honeymoon
in this old lady.

My son was probably conceived
in the front seat or the back seat...

or both.

-Well, let's just say it was the back.
-[chuckles]

He was an infantryman.

He was a good one, too.

[sniffling]

[voice breaking] In fact...

my husband was a really good man.

He was so charming.

And we were happy.

You know, like one of those couples
that other couples hate being around,

'cause it shows them
how not happy they are?

We were that couple. [chuckles]

-I hate that couple.
-[laughs]

He got sent on some difficult deployments,
he saw some really tough stuff.

He used to make people laugh.

And after that,
I can't even remember seeing him smile.

He started sleeping late, then drinking...

He wouldn't get any help.

Then things got really bad.

And it wasn't safe in the house.

[sighs sharply]

Until, finally, one night,
I had to take those keys away from him...

'cause he told me
he was gonna wrap himself around a tree.

Mmm.

That's tough.

And I get it.

I went through some stuff, too,
when I got back.

I'm sorry to bring it up.

No, I can talk about it now,
because I did get help.

I'm in this women's veterans group.

Lot of swearing. You'll love it.

[chuckles]

The hard truth is...

if your husband's not trying to change,
there's nothing you can do.

Trust me on that.

Leaving was the right thing to do.

It's just hard to say goodbye.

I think it's time, Alvarez.

'Cause Mrs. Resnick kind of smells
like a gas leak in Hawaii.

[laughs]

[chuckles] Oh, man!

I haven't talked to another soldier
in a long time.

-This was really nice.
-Yeah.

-You should come to the group.
-Maybe I will.

Yeah. Wait, wait.

What's happening here?
Are we becoming friends?

It's happenin', Alvarez.

[groaning]

And you can stop milking
the shoulder injury.

I already sold you the car.

No, this is a real injury.

-Oh, sorry.
-No, it's okay.

I'll tell you about it in the group.

It'll be nice to talk
to a bunch of lady soldiers.

-It's hard to find women who get me.
-Oh, me, too.

What is wrong with civilian women?

I know, right? It's like...

[mocking] "Let's get mani-pedis."

[laughing]

But I think we should
totally get mani-pedis.

Mmm-hmm. I could use a fill-in
like nobody's business.

[chuckles]

Is this great or is this great?

Look at us all together as a family.

It's just like growing up in Cuba.
[chuckles] ¡Salud!

[grunts]

I haven't even shown you guys
the best part.

-Play my jam.
-[player beeps]

[both] No!
[Lydia] What?

-["Un-Break My Heart" playing on stereo]
-♪ Un-break my heart ♪

♪ Say you'll love me again ♪

♪ Undo this hurt that you caused ♪

♪ When you walked out the door
And walked out of my life ♪

Come on, everybody!

-♪ Un-cry these tears ♪
-♪ Baby, baby, baby ♪

-♪ I cried so many nights ♪
-[Lydia continues incomprehensibly]

♪ Un-break my heart ♪

["Un-Break My Heart" continues playing]